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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,179 --> 00:00:08,443 Planet crust-- 59.6% silica. 2 00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:12,055 Again with the silica. It's always silica. 3 00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:14,884 Scan complete. Minimal resources detected. 4 00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:16,886 Planet has low potential. 5 00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:19,149 Looks like my decision's made for me. 6 00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:21,282 Navigation, set course for home. 7 00:00:24,502 --> 00:00:26,287 What the? 8 00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:32,336 Aah! 9 00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:39,343 Aah! 10 00:00:45,262 --> 00:00:48,439 Aah! 11 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,688 Fuel core not found. 12 00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:21,211 Switching to reserve power. 13 00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:23,909 Reserve power sufficient for orbital launch. 14 00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:25,259 That's good news. 15 00:01:25,259 --> 00:01:26,173 Reserve power depleted 16 00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:27,957 by orbital launch calculations. 17 00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:31,395 That's bad design. 18 00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,138 I gotta find that fuel core. 19 00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:46,149 Can't let the inhabitants see me. 20 00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:48,543 Shit. 21 00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:50,893 Salutations, fellow traveler. 22 00:01:50,893 --> 00:01:54,201 Well, you don't look like you're from around here. 23 00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:56,594 You must be a hobo! 24 00:01:56,594 --> 00:02:00,511 A poor hobo wandering the desert like an Israelite. 25 00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:04,428 I'm Freddy Underwood, Bible salesman and good Samaritan. 26 00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:06,430 And you're coming with me. 27 00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:08,432 - I don't want to. - I insist. 28 00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:12,044 So you're taking me prisoner? 29 00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:14,351 I'm taking you for a hot meal. 30 00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:16,440 So you're gonna eat me, then? 31 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,877 I don't eat hobos! 32 00:02:18,877 --> 00:02:20,792 Not since the Great Depression. 33 00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:27,538 As reports come in of a large crash 34 00:02:27,538 --> 00:02:30,193 somewhere in the desert of what some are saying was 35 00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:32,848 an unidentified flying object. 36 00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:39,681 I'm not much for news unless it's the good news. 37 00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:42,466 Used to be a preacher. Preached the good book. 38 00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:46,340 Then something happened. Now I sell the good book! 39 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:51,997 Don't believe in it anymore because of what happened. 40 00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:54,217 And here we are! 41 00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:56,828 Grandma Macadoo's boarding house. 42 00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:58,134 You're gonna like her. 43 00:02:58,134 --> 00:02:59,875 She's a warm, earthy woman... 44 00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:02,399 ...but saltier than Lot's wife! 45 00:03:02,399 --> 00:03:06,142 I got a hungry one for you, young Miss Macadoo. 46 00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:08,797 Little guy with long arms, huh? 47 00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:10,364 I dropped a dirty sex book 48 00:03:10,364 --> 00:03:12,453 on the far side of my claw-foot tub. 49 00:03:12,453 --> 00:03:17,327 If you can reach it, I'll give ya a big plate of chipped beef. 50 00:03:17,327 --> 00:03:19,155 Ah, he's runnin' away. 51 00:03:19,155 --> 00:03:22,854 Grandma, this jackrabbit's head's all mushy! 52 00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:25,335 Ew. Gross! 53 00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:29,296 Can I make his head all mushy? 54 00:03:53,058 --> 00:03:55,365 Oh good, I'm up! 55 00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:04,940 Rip Van Winkle rises! 56 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:06,942 I need to go. 57 00:04:06,942 --> 00:04:08,160 Suit yourself. 58 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,948 Ha ha! Someone smells that chipped beef. 59 00:04:12,948 --> 00:04:14,558 Chipped beef again? 60 00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:16,125 What did think you were getting, Luis? 61 00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:17,605 A salad?! 62 00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:19,302 None for me, please. 63 00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:20,956 Watching my figure. 64 00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:23,480 Screen stars have to stay trim. 65 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:26,353 I'm Roslyn Jenkins, not that you know the name yet. 66 00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,920 I'm in New Mexico for a brief respite. 67 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,053 Then I'm off to be a young ingenue for 68 00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:33,098 Metro Goldwyn and Mayer. 69 00:04:33,098 --> 00:04:35,057 You've been here nine years. 70 00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:36,624 You're 60, right? 71 00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:38,234 I'm not 60! 72 00:04:38,234 --> 00:04:40,628 It's this damn dry air. 73 00:04:40,628 --> 00:04:43,065 Uncle Cosworth, you joining us? 74 00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:46,242 Soon as I get this old girl loaded. 75 00:04:46,242 --> 00:04:49,506 Uncle Cosworth is one of the last living Civil War veterans. 76 00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:51,726 He liked shooting so much, he fought for both sides. 77 00:04:51,726 --> 00:04:54,816 Clifton! Put your little club down and eat something. 78 00:04:57,514 --> 00:05:00,865 You know, I heard on the radio that some people think 79 00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:03,738 they saw a Martian spaceship last night. 80 00:05:03,738 --> 00:05:06,349 Ya listen to my radio, ya pay me a nickel! 81 00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:08,917 I'll tell you something. As a crop duster-- 82 00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:11,659 I'm a crop duster. I spend a lot of time in the air. 83 00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:13,704 And I've seen my fair share of things in the sky 84 00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,445 that I cannot explain. 85 00:05:15,445 --> 00:05:17,360 Once I saw what appeared to be a black bird, 86 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,449 but it had the body of a mouse. 87 00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:21,451 And it was nighttime! 88 00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:23,671 Sounds like a bat to me, friend. 89 00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:25,020 A what?! 90 00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:29,241 I also fought in the Spanish-American War 91 00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:31,243 in 1898. 92 00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:33,376 Tremendous war. 93 00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,552 I don't know what it was about, 94 00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:38,903 but I'm sure we were the good guys. 95 00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:41,166 Luis, you don't know when that airplane 96 00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:42,994 is gonna drop like a stone. 97 00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:44,953 You need to be at peace with the big bearded man 98 00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:46,128 in the clouds. 99 00:05:46,128 --> 00:05:48,043 You need a Bible. 100 00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:50,132 But you don't believe in the Bible. 101 00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:52,177 Some big bearded man in the clouds? 102 00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:53,962 I'm not an idiot! 103 00:05:53,962 --> 00:05:56,399 But you can't afford to take chances. 104 00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:59,837 And I'd believe the Bible if I could, trust that, but I can't. 105 00:05:59,837 --> 00:06:02,187 I'm locked out of the gates 106 00:06:02,187 --> 00:06:04,015 because of all of those hobos I ate. 107 00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:10,674 And if you make new chipped beef inside the old chipped beef, 108 00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:13,460 you never have to wash the pot! 109 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:17,638 But do I make my debut in comedy or tragedy? 110 00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:20,031 I mean, I can do both equal-- 111 00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:22,338 Clifton! It's dead already! 112 00:06:22,338 --> 00:06:25,036 All done? 113 00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:27,691 I suppose that means you'll be hitting the road? 114 00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:41,096 Evening, madam. I'm with the OSS. 115 00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:43,664 Wait, sorry, the CIA. 116 00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:45,753 They just changed the name on us. 117 00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:47,885 I'm Agent Avery Bullock. 118 00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:51,019 Wait, sorry, Avery Bullock Senior. 119 00:06:51,019 --> 00:06:53,717 I just had a son, and he changed my name on me. 120 00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,763 Hello, citizens! 121 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,678 I'm sure you've all heard about a crash 122 00:06:57,678 --> 00:06:59,375 that happened last night, 123 00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:02,378 and maybe you've even heard it was a UFO. 124 00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:05,903 A UFO? Can you imagine? 125 00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:07,949 Do you want to know what it really was? 126 00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,777 A weather balloon. 127 00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:12,562 A common, everyday, you've-seen-it-a-thousand-times 128 00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:13,868 weather balloon. 129 00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:16,044 What is a weather balloon? 130 00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:18,002 It's a type of balloon. 131 00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:22,354 If it was just a balloon, why is the OSS here? 132 00:07:22,354 --> 00:07:24,356 "Why is the CIA here?" 133 00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:27,142 What's that thing you're carrying? 134 00:07:27,142 --> 00:07:29,623 It's a tool for capturing weather balloons. 135 00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:33,017 Now that I've answered all your questions flawlessly, 136 00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:34,715 I have a question. 137 00:07:34,715 --> 00:07:37,892 Have you seen any suspicious characters around? 138 00:07:37,892 --> 00:07:39,502 Suspicious how? 139 00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:42,505 Just suspicious. Not an alien or anything, 140 00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:46,509 but maybe gray or green skin, maybe tentacles. 141 00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,729 Assistance in finding someone like that 142 00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:50,382 would be greatly appreciated. 143 00:07:50,382 --> 00:07:55,257 And any resistance would be greatly unappreciated. 144 00:07:55,257 --> 00:07:58,782 Mister, I know for a fact that every one of us 145 00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:00,784 has seen a suspicious character... 146 00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:05,267 ...in the mirror! 147 00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:11,099 Well, I'll leave you to your joyless laughter. 148 00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:13,318 Is it only six of you for dinner? 149 00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:15,103 You better believe it! 150 00:08:15,103 --> 00:08:18,454 Then why are there seven plates? 151 00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:25,287 Do I hear the frightened whimpering 152 00:08:25,287 --> 00:08:27,855 of a nasty little weather balloon in there? 153 00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:42,391 Well, this didn't work. 154 00:08:42,391 --> 00:08:44,393 I beg your pardon, madam. 155 00:08:44,393 --> 00:08:47,265 Wait, you think I'm a woman? But I look ridiculous. 156 00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:49,746 I've seen more fetching women, sure, 157 00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:52,880 but you're no more homely than your very homely twin sister 158 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,969 I saw out in the dining room. 159 00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:58,189 Because I look just like Grandma Macadoo. 160 00:08:58,189 --> 00:09:00,888 Get out of my way! Chipped beef, chipped beef! 161 00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:02,411 What in the twinly name 162 00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:03,934 of Jacob and Esau! 163 00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:06,763 I'm back from the bathroom, everybody, me, 164 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,896 Grandma Macadoo's sister. 165 00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:11,899 Grandma Macadoo? 166 00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:14,728 Why did you all say there were only six of you here? 167 00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:16,207 Oh, no! 168 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:18,079 They couldn't hear you over the sound of your stomach 169 00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:19,515 smelling the chipped beef! 170 00:09:19,515 --> 00:09:21,082 I'll get you a bowl. 171 00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:23,432 The secret to chipped beef is the creaminess, 172 00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:26,696 and the secret to my creaminess is horse milk. 173 00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:29,917 Sure, horse milk tastes like grass and smells like a horse, 174 00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:32,659 and cow milk is way better in every way imaginable, 175 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:35,357 but I don't have a cow and I do have a horse. 176 00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:40,318 Or I did, before I chipped it up and beefed it. 177 00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:44,192 It's like I'm looking in a mirror. 178 00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:46,673 Hobo? That's you, right? 179 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:49,240 Somehow? 180 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:53,244 One of the greatest acting performances I've ever seen! 181 00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:56,421 You simply became Grandma Macadoo. 182 00:09:56,421 --> 00:10:00,687 What makes my disguise so effective on humans? 183 00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:04,212 Well, it's time I came clean about what I am-- 184 00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:05,517 - a big ol' alien. - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 185 00:10:05,517 --> 00:10:07,128 - Stop talking! - No, no, no, not our business! 186 00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:09,826 Let me explain something to you, magical hobo. 187 00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:12,742 We all came to the middle of nowhere for a reason. 188 00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:14,831 We don't talk about the past 189 00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:17,225 or who poisoned what daddy where 190 00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:20,010 or why the well water went smelly. 191 00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:21,751 And don't ask me about stealing my airplane, 192 00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:23,710 which doomed my squadron. 193 00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,668 I'm always joking about what I did, 194 00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:27,627 but it really actually truly happened. 195 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,367 I did it! I ate 'em! 196 00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:32,544 Can you, uh, do me like you did Granny? 197 00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:35,896 I used to preach the good book. Now I sell it! 198 00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:38,768 Do me! 199 00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:40,248 I'm a fresh young thing, 200 00:10:40,248 --> 00:10:42,511 and my gorgeous little face looks like a river map. 201 00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:45,470 I want to become a star by sitting here in the corner! 202 00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,342 Hey! 203 00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:50,301 It was brother against brother, which was tough 204 00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:53,391 because I didn't have a brother, so I had to shoot my sister! 205 00:10:57,308 --> 00:11:00,224 I like to fart a big load of dust onto some crops, 206 00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:02,357 then go to town and pay a man and a lady 207 00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:04,576 to watch me have sex with my plane. 208 00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:07,579 Boy, this magical hobo was listening to everything I said! 209 00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:09,277 Can you become anyone else? 210 00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:10,887 I don't know anyone else. 211 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:13,542 What if we went into town, met some other people? 212 00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:15,283 It's the Green Chile Festival! 213 00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:17,198 I should get going, actually. 214 00:11:17,198 --> 00:11:19,113 I have to find my spaceship's fuel core. 215 00:11:19,113 --> 00:11:21,071 - La, la, la, la, la, la, la! - Try this. 216 00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:23,334 Trust me. 217 00:11:24,422 --> 00:11:25,728 Phew. 218 00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:28,165 Town. Chiles. Now. 219 00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:42,223 โ™ช In a town in Sweden by a stream so clear and cool โ™ช 220 00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:44,355 โ™ช Some boys were sitting, fishing โ™ช 221 00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:47,184 โ™ช When they should have been in school โ™ช 222 00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:49,578 โ™ช They couldn't read or write a word โ™ช 223 00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:52,624 โ™ช But happiness they found โ™ช 224 00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,975 โ™ช In a little song they heard โ™ช 225 00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:56,933 โ™ช Here's how it would sound โ™ช 226 00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:58,761 โ™ช Hut-sut rawlson on the rillerah โ™ช 227 00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:01,721 โ™ช And a brawla, brawla sooit โ™ช 228 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,635 โ™ช Hut-sut rawlson on the rillerah โ™ช 229 00:12:03,635 --> 00:12:06,813 โ™ช And a brawla sooit โ™ช 230 00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:07,988 What's that? 231 00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:10,033 Tent revival? 232 00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:12,470 Is there something in there I can put inside me 233 00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:17,171 or put myself inside or maybe, I don't know, rub on myself? 234 00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:21,479 I was there, in the field, a man of clay, 235 00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:24,700 my heart and mind still mired in the frantic decadence 236 00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:27,094 and sin of this modern life. 237 00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:31,185 "Green chili this," and "peepshow that," 238 00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:36,320 when out of the sky it fell. 239 00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:40,803 It exploded into the ground, 240 00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:43,066 and I went to it. 241 00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:46,026 My mind was made clear! 242 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:48,898 My heart became full with the Lord! 243 00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:52,597 My hair became very easy to comb! 244 00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:55,426 My teeth fell out and landed on the ground 245 00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:57,951 with a pretty little pitter-pat! 246 00:12:57,951 --> 00:13:01,955 And a voice whispered, and I knew, I understood 247 00:13:01,955 --> 00:13:06,742 that it was a sacred piece of Heaven's wall! 248 00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:08,613 I must touch it! 249 00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:13,793 Only I may touch the relic! 250 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,838 Praise be! 251 00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:19,755 Now, we have all heard tell of an alien in our midst, 252 00:13:19,755 --> 00:13:21,496 but I say to you this-- 253 00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:24,760 it is not an alien that has come to us 254 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,458 but an angel! Hallelujah! 255 00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:29,547 Amen! 256 00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:38,382 Oh! 257 00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:41,646 Lord, thank you for this sacred chunk. 258 00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:45,912 Let no man sunder me from my godly chunk. 259 00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:48,001 Ta-da! Whoa, whoa, whoa! 260 00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:51,221 It's me! It's me! The angel! I'm here for that! 261 00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:54,877 You don't look like an angel! 262 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:57,749 Where are your wings?! 263 00:13:57,749 --> 00:14:00,274 I tuck 'em into my robes when I'm not flying. 264 00:14:00,274 --> 00:14:02,537 - Where's your halo? - Also tucked. 265 00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:04,495 Most of these things are for flying only, 266 00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:06,715 and it's immediate tuck-time on landing. 267 00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:09,500 Looks like she's wearing a piece of the tent! 268 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,373 - Can we see you fly? - I'd rather not. 269 00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:14,854 Maybe I'll just shoot you, to be safe. 270 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,638 I saw him fly! 271 00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:21,208 It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw. 272 00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:23,601 It brought tears to these Southern eyes. 273 00:14:23,601 --> 00:14:26,300 And as I looked upon that flying angel, 274 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:29,259 I said to myself, "Be strong, Roslyn! 275 00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:32,872 Because whether it was poison or not, Daddy is gone, 276 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,222 and if you just sit on your tuffet, 277 00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:37,789 you'll never get to brush your hair at the pink vanity 278 00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:38,921 - of Hollywoodland." - All right, that's plenty. 279 00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:40,444 - Huh? - I'm the angel, 280 00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:41,881 is the main takeaway, 281 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,231 and I'm here for that piece of our beautiful wall. 282 00:14:44,231 --> 00:14:46,407 There's a big hole near the gate, 283 00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:48,757 and s-sinners are wiggling through. 284 00:14:48,757 --> 00:14:51,629 Saint Peter's Gate? 285 00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:52,239 Yep. 286 00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:54,023 It is an angel! 287 00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:56,199 I saw him fly, too! 288 00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:59,376 I think I saw him eat a big cheeseburger across the street! 289 00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:04,642 Well, I guess I should be going, 290 00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:06,993 but God thanks you for your assistance! 291 00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:09,430 Will we get into Heaven for this? 292 00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:11,606 Boy, you guys sure are excited about Heaven. 293 00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:13,434 What's it like? 294 00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:16,089 It's nice. Ooh! 295 00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:19,005 It's very nice. 296 00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:20,702 Ooh! 297 00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:23,748 Yeah, there's, like, the wall and-- and the gate, obviously. 298 00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:25,359 I already mentioned those. 299 00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:27,796 What's inside the wall? - Oh, it's got everything. 300 00:15:27,796 --> 00:15:30,016 There's a-a tent just like this, 301 00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:32,932 and, um... oh, they've got green chilies. 302 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:36,326 As above, so below! 303 00:15:36,326 --> 00:15:38,938 Who wants a kiss from a real angel? 304 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,723 Form a line! 305 00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:43,986 Kiss line canceled! Everyone, link arms 306 00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:47,772 and form a Heaven's wall here on Earth with your bodies! 307 00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,165 You should see a doctor, 308 00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:51,646 tell him God said "Radiation poisoning." 309 00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:54,475 Aah! 310 00:15:54,475 --> 00:15:56,390 Looks like someone was hoping to get back to Heaven, 311 00:15:56,390 --> 00:16:00,394 but I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you someplace... 312 00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:02,874 South of that. 313 00:16:06,748 --> 00:16:09,011 You're a clever one, gray man. 314 00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:11,100 But I'm a clever gray man, too. 315 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:13,929 I realized you were no angel. 316 00:16:13,929 --> 00:16:16,062 Because I didn't have the wings. 317 00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:19,804 Ha! I didn't know for sure until you just confirmed it. 318 00:16:19,804 --> 00:16:23,939 And now I'm taking you to a new secret facility in Nevada. 319 00:16:23,939 --> 00:16:26,898 It's called Area 51-- state-of-the-art. 320 00:16:26,898 --> 00:16:29,814 Makes Area 50 look like Area 49. 321 00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:32,339 - Will I like it there? - Oh, you'll love it! 322 00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:34,906 Unless you don't like being dissected alive, 323 00:16:34,906 --> 00:16:36,778 in which case, you'll hate it. 324 00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:38,040 What's that? A weather balloon? 325 00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:42,827 No, it's a friend. 326 00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:47,180 I can't see anything with all this safe 327 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,182 and harmless crop dust! 328 00:16:50,835 --> 00:16:52,663 What the?! 329 00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:57,929 Great plan, gang. 330 00:16:57,929 --> 00:17:00,236 I mean, I almost died, but good plan. 331 00:17:00,236 --> 00:17:03,631 Good not great. Now, where's our getaway car? 332 00:17:05,807 --> 00:17:07,461 Okay, this plan sucks, gang. 333 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:13,162 This is all the getaway we need. 334 00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:16,165 I'm going to get you alien scum. 335 00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:18,515 Where is it?! I know it's one of you! 336 00:17:18,515 --> 00:17:19,995 We'll never tell! 337 00:17:19,995 --> 00:17:21,953 And you can't take all of us! 338 00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:23,346 I'm taking all of you. 339 00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:25,000 A-kazza-kazza-whaaa? 340 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,176 I don't know which one of you is the alien. 341 00:17:27,176 --> 00:17:30,527 I mean, I feel pretty confident it's one of the twins, 342 00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:33,748 but I'm taking you all to Area 51 anyway. 343 00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:35,358 Uncle Cosworth, do something! 344 00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:38,796 One Bull Run Special coming up! 345 00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:41,321 Okay that's not happening. 346 00:17:41,321 --> 00:17:43,584 I can't let you take them. 347 00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:46,239 It's me. I'm the one you want. 348 00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:48,763 Don't say anything mean about my body. 349 00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:53,724 Hallelujah! 350 00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:57,206 I cracked that man! I daddied him! 351 00:17:57,206 --> 00:17:58,947 Clifton, I can't believe 352 00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:01,384 you were hiding behind that cactus the whole time, 353 00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:03,560 especially since you're also standing right there. 354 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:10,132 Sweet mother of pearl! 355 00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:11,873 Kill me! Do it! 356 00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:15,442 I wronged you. 357 00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:18,184 I killed your, I want to say, little lover? 358 00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:19,707 W-Was it a-- Was it a sex friend? 359 00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:25,060 It was your young. I was afraid of that. 360 00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:28,716 But before you righteously murder me, can I say something? 361 00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:30,413 You and me are a lot alike. 362 00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:33,677 Fellow travelers. Strangers on a strange planet. 363 00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:36,289 A strange planet full of strange humans! 364 00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:38,987 They do weird stuff. Like clapping. 365 00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:41,816 They enjoy a thing so they gather to look at the thing 366 00:18:41,816 --> 00:18:43,731 and slap their hands together? 367 00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:45,298 Big loud slappy clomps? 368 00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:46,386 Dumb. 369 00:18:46,386 --> 00:18:48,127 In a way the computer was right. 370 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,433 This planet has low potential. 371 00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:53,088 But then I got to thinking about the green chili pepper. 372 00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:57,266 Full of high quantities of capsaicin, which is a poison. 373 00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:58,572 But what you can't tell 374 00:18:58,572 --> 00:19:00,835 from your scanning tripod on the moon, 375 00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:04,665 is that this poison is also really spicy and flavorful. 376 00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:07,189 Get where I'm going with this? 377 00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:08,451 The people! 378 00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,584 They're like the green chili peppers. 379 00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:13,326 The things inside them that they think are poison-- 380 00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:16,372 their dark secrets and their troubled pasts-- 381 00:19:16,372 --> 00:19:19,070 just make them spicy and flavorful. 382 00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:24,163 I told you we were a lot alike. 383 00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:27,470 He's waking up. That's my cue! 384 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,909 Heh-heh-heh. 385 00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:38,742 Tell everyone what you saw here today if you want. 386 00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:41,136 Who would ever believe you? 387 00:19:52,365 --> 00:19:53,844 He... 388 00:19:53,844 --> 00:19:55,411 He didn't say goodbye. 389 00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:57,805 To keep you safe, my friends. 390 00:19:57,805 --> 00:19:59,546 I don't want you to know too much. 391 00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:01,765 Do you think he was the alien 392 00:20:01,765 --> 00:20:03,506 the government was looking for? 393 00:20:03,506 --> 00:20:05,595 Hmm, maybe they don't know enough. 394 00:20:24,571 --> 00:20:28,966 And so Roger sets off to travel this new world, 395 00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:31,621 seeking only his pleasure and amusement, 396 00:20:31,621 --> 00:20:34,058 perhaps righting a wrong if he has time 397 00:20:34,058 --> 00:20:35,843 and it's not a big hassle. 398 00:20:35,843 --> 00:20:39,629 All the while being pursued by an intelligence agent, 399 00:20:39,629 --> 00:20:41,457 his smart-alecky bald son, 400 00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:45,722 and a vengeful shape-shifting alien who seeks to destroy him. 401 00:20:45,722 --> 00:20:47,855 His date with destiny and the Smith family 402 00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:51,511 still decades in front of him, he is... 403 00:20:51,511 --> 00:20:52,860 The Fellow Traveler. 404 00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:56,080 And these are his stories. 405 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,126 Bye. Have a great time. 28396

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