All language subtitles for Unholy Rollers (1972) HDRip

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All right. All right.
Damn Stern,
cheapest guy in the world.

Got me doing
15 jobs around here
on a guard's pay.

Too cheap to give me a helper.

"Don't take any tips,"
he said, "Don't take any tips.

"You got to take any tips
you got and turn them
into the office."

I'll tip him in front of a car
some night and break his
cotton-pickin' head open.

Too cheap to even get
a decent cloth up here
for the announcement booth.

Son of a gun, I never saw
such a cheap guy in my...

I'd ask him for a raise,
but I know he'd fire me
for asking him.

So I'll just keep quiet.
I gotta work anyway.

I got a wind-up victrola,
he won't even let me have
a decent electric victrola

for the cheapest guy
in the world.

I never saw such a cheapskate
in all my life.

[VICTROLA PLAYS VERY SLOWLY]

[VICTROLA SPEEDING UP]

[VICTROLA PLAYING
THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER]

[RECORD SKIPS]

[CONTINUES SKIPPING]

[CONTINUES SKIPPING]

-[CROWD CHEERING]
-Get on with the fucker!

ANNOUNCER: The closing minutes
of this most exciting game of
our own LA Avengers.

They're trailing the Demons
by five points. In this sport,
anything can happen.

Those fans are saying
"Go, go, go, Avengers!"

And so does
their own Angie Striker.

She looks concerned,
but don't worry, Angie.

This team can
pull a victory out of a hat.

Uh-oh! Lady Rocco and Mickey
are breaking out of the pack

Lady Rocco goes down hard.

Ooh! She's down, down, down
like a ton of lead.

Fans are after her hide now.
They don't like her at all.

-[WOMAN SHOUTING]
-"I'll kill you!
I'll kill you!" says a fan.

And Rocco says,
"You and who else, Big Mouth?

"Just step up here and
I'll murder you,
and your whole family, too.

"You hear that, honey?"
Skates off
the track in a huff.

Our own Doc Morgan's on hand
in case there's an injury.

-Mickey races up
through the back.
-Look at that. Look at that.

Our own skating star,
Mickey Martinez
is on a rampage!

She's stolen two points.
Two big Avenger points!

That's only three to go
to tie up this game.

Horace McKay has come down
with his bully
bodyguard, Marvin.

And Marvin says,
"We'll win yet."
Ha-ha, Marvin...

And watch out, Mickey,
watch this one closely.

She slams through for
two big important points.
One to go!

Two big Avenger points,
the fans are going wild.

The fans are saying,
"We're going to win!"

The fans taste blood, and
it's Demon blood they taste,
and they love it.

They love it. They're hoping
to see an Avenger win today.
At Stern's big stadium track.

[COUGHING]

Oh, Rocco says
"That's all, Mickey?

"You get enough points
in one game,
I'll take you out."

Ooh! Instead she goes...

[FANS SHOUTING]

[BUZZER SOUNDING]

Look at that. Horace McKay is
not happy at all. But Horace
McKay is never happy.

-[BUZZER SOUNDING]
-Now Mickey's calling
off the jam.

-[BLOWS WHISTLE]
-What, what is that?

Little Primo's holding up
six fingers. Now I saw five
points, not six.

-What do you think that means?
-There's your answer, Jack.

Horace McKay on the track,
to beat up Mickey Martinez.

I'm surprised he didn't get
his henchman, Masked Marvin,
to do it for him.

But maybe he felt, she's just
a little girl, and he could
take care of her himself.

He can't stand seeing little
Mickey Martinez beating
his dirty green Demons.

The two most evil men,
on this, or any other track.

Horace McKay and
Masked Marvin,
his bully bodyguard.

You know, they should
call him a bullyguard,
don't you think, Jack?

You're absolutely right.
Look at him, putting his
hands up like a champion.

-[CROWD BOOING]
-He's no champion,
he's a loser from way back.

Ha-ha. A champion loser
is maybe what he means.

Now don't forget,
skating fans, we have
our team tryouts

every Thursday afternoon
at 3:00 here
at Stern Stadium.

So, if you can skate and have
the true sporting spirit,

you may get to be a part of
these thrilling roller
tournaments yourself...

[MACHINERY WHIRRING]

Where we you last night?
I went to the game.

We couldn't go, Felipe's aunt
was up from Tijuana.
Then Christina was sick.

We kept trying to get out,
we couldn't make it.

Mickey did some really great
stuff, she's fantastic!

-Knocked Rocco
right out on her ass!
-[LAUGHS]

You should be doing
better than that. I got the
same exact Ramcharger

-and I'm getting
at least nine.
-What is this, Daytona?

You're supposed to be working.
Look at these cans!

The machine's supposed
to be working. We're supposed
to be watching.

We're watching!

Boy, I'd like to get Mickey
Martinez down here, turn her
loose on a couple of people.

-You oughta turn
yourself loose.
-Get off!

Keep your crappy hands off me!

I heard you talked to
Mr. Tallahassee
about a raise

Yeah, I talked to him.

You don't talk to
Mr. Tallahassee about nothing,
you talk to me.

I got nothing to talk
to you about.

You talk to me
about your raise.

I told you keep
your hands off me!

Listen, Walker, you want that
raise, you better change your
work habits a little bit.

Step up to the office, Walker,
we'll talk about that raise.

You make me sick!

Step into my office, Walker,
we'll talk about whether
you still work here at all!

You're sick!
Sick! Sick! Sick!

I don't need this crap.
There's a lot of
jobs I could get.

-And I definitely don't need
this stupid job!
-Oh, yes, you do.

Nope! I'm getting out of here!

[MACHINERY WHIRRING]

What the...
What the hell is this?

You're crazy!

I'm not working for
that pervert anymore!

I'm gonna kill her!
That broad,
I'm gonna kill her!

What are you,
nuts or something?
Fucking nuts!

-Hey, wait.
-KAREN: I'll call you later!

-Hey! I quit my job!
-[MOANING]

-[MOANING]
-I quit my job!

About time!

MAN: What are we gonna do?
How we gonna pay the rent?

Well, I don't know.

Well, she can do
something besides work
in that cat food factory.

I just asked a question.

[PANTING] She can find
something that she can
do that she likes.

I mean, three years we've been
living together and she's
been coming home crazy.

-She wants to quit,
she can quit.
-I was just asking.

[PANTING]

You got a cigarette?

Hmm.

We'll talk about it later.

After the two of you
have finished doing
whatever it is you're doing.

[PANTING]

-[MOANING]
-Oh! Ow! Ah! Ow!

DONNA: You gotta be like me.
I mean, if it weren't for my
dancing lessons,

-I'd be stuck
in some stupid factory, too.
-Well, I can't dance like you.

And, besides, you're not
having such an
easy time of it, either.

Yeah, but I'm working towards
something. I got something to
shoot for, you know.

All right, I'll go out in
the morning and
find another job.

-Another stupid factory?
-No. I'll sign up for
dancing school.

-I'm sorry,
this line's closed.
-What do you mean, closed?

You were closing up when
you saw us coming.

It's closed.

-What's the trouble?
-She closed the line up on us.

Well, you'll have to
use the other line.

What? Our food's
got some disease
that she can't touch it?

I'm on my break!

I'll put you on your break!

-Stop this! Now stop it!
-Well, tell her
to check us out!

She is on her break.

We've got a union here.
And once she goes on her break
there's nothing I can do.

I'm sorry, you'll
just have to use
the other counter.

I'm not using no other line.

-Hey wait for me!
-Hurry up!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

STERN: Now, all you people who
are here for the tryouts.

Those of you that aren't
here for the tryouts,
please leave the arena.

Those of you sitting here,
you have to try out.

Now, those of you people
that can't roller skate,
please leave the arena.

Now, those of you that
can roller skate.

Get up on the track
and start roller skating!

Up! Up! Up! Let's go!

Come on, what are
you waiting for?
The organ music?

Marshall, go help some
of those people
get on the track.

If they fall,
we're not insured.

-Yeah, but...
-Go, go, go, go.

[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

STERN: Marshall, where'd you
find these people?
Will you just tell me that?

Where did you
find these idiots?

MARSHALL: Where we always
find them, street corners,
unemployment offices,

parks, restaurants...

STERN: Yeah, that guy
right there, huh?

Get him off
the track, Marshall.

MARSHALL: Oh, give him
another chance, Stern. There's
another good one, right there.

STERN: That kid.
No, that kid, there.
She could be terrific.

-What's her name?
-Walker, Karen Walker.

STERN: Walker, huh?

C'mon, c'mon!
Get up and skate! Skate!

STERN: All right, forget it.
Enough of that.
Get that bird off.

Get him off the track!

[INAUDIBLE]

STERN: And that's fall three.
Get 'em all out of here,
would ya?

I'm getting crazy from this.
They're gonna
get killed, Marshall.

Thanks to you
and your dumb casting.

Ooh, we got three left.

Marshall, I got news for you.
None of 'em can skate.

-Marshall, sign up
all three of them.
-The guy, too?

He's perfect! We'll put him
on the Demons.
They'll hate his guts!

You seem to forget,
Marshall, showmanship.

-That fag'll sell tickets
for at least a month.
-What about the other guy?

If moves down to Omaha,
we won't do too bad,
two out of three.

Ah! Did you see what
that broad just did?
She knows.

That's what I keep telling
you about. Showmanship.

-I'll repeat it. Showmanship!
-I know.

Beautiful.

[ALL CHEERING]

Man, I think it's
a fine thing.

Anything that lets me
get loaded on somebody else's
Cold Duck is ok.

[LAUGHING] In that case,
we'll be drinking Cold Duck
for the rest of our lives.

She'll be brushing
her teeth with it!

I don't care if she washes
her feet in it,
as long as I get some.

-[LAUGHS]
-[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

I must get on!

[GIGGLES]

Well, you're really
gonna be a big star, huh?
[LAUGHS DRUNKENLY]

-C'mon, let's go watch Donna.
-Nah, you go watch Donna.
I got some work to do here.

[BAND PLAYING
UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]

[PATRONS CHEERING
AND APPLAUDING]

You boys mind if I sit in?

Think you're old enough?
This is a dangerous game.

-That dangerous
enough for you?
-Hey! Let go of my ear!

Let her play, she's got money.

-Deal
-Cut 'em. Ante 20.

The girl is a good-looking
girl and she can dance nice.

The only thing with it,
she don't have any tits.

So the boss told her
you go to Anaheim,
get your tits pumped up.

We'll give you more money.

She goes to Anaheim,
gets silicone in her tits.

When she come back,
her tits are
as hard as a rock.

When she dances,
her ears move more
than her tits.

-So we had to fire her.
-[WOMAN LAUGHS]

MAN 1: This looks like an
easy hit, right here. There's
a market for Chrysler parts,

You open the hood,
I'll get the toolbox.

[WHISTLING]

Flashlight?

You sure gotta lot
of crap in here.

This girl's boyfriend come in
the other night
and she said to him...

She said, "I want $10."
He said, "What do
you want $10 for?"

She said, "I wanna buy
myself a brassiere."

He said, "Hell, you ain't got
nothing to put in it."

-She said, "You wear
shorts, don't you?"
-[WOMAN LAUGHS]

All right. Tell me,
what's better, two pairs,
or three-of-a-kind?

In poker, three-of-a-kind
beats two pair.

Oh! Well, in that case,
kings full!

Sure is nice
playing with you boys!
It's very nice.

You're cute! You're just like
a bunny rabbit!
[GIGGLES]

I told you, honey,
I'm waiting for my brother.

Well, pretend
I'm your brother.

[GIGGLES] You don't look
anything like my brother.

-Could you leave
your brother a note?
-Okay.

MAN 1: Carburetor.
MAN 2: Carburetor.

-Give me a 3/16ths, open.
-How you gonna find
an open end?

Unless you got the closed end
to find the open one?

-How do you spell "executive"?
-E-X...

Just say you
left with a friend.

How do you spell "friend"?

-I gotta get out
of this business.
-[WHISTLING]

MAN 2: Not me, boy. This is
the only excitement I get.

[WOMAN LAUGHING]

-Excuse me, sir. You happen to
have a spare cigarette?
-Sure, take one.

Oh, thanks a lot.
Well, uh, good luck to you.

What a fancy car!
Must be good dough,
an executive!

-Slide right in, honey.
-Okay.

MAN 1: Boy, that was close.
MAN 2: What are you
worried about?

What's he gonna do? Follow us?

[IGNITION CLICKING]

It's a nice car, but
it's too bad it doesn't work.

Is there anything I can do?

Yeah, give me a push.

What's happening?

I wanted to ask you something.
That shirt look like
it's worth $22.50 to you?

-Four-and-a-half.
-C'mon! Make it at least 10.

COACH: Maybe one or two of
you new players, will end up
playing professional.

Let alone making
the big bucks.

Probably, some of you
will end up in the hospital

And one thing that might help
keep you out of the hospital,

is to remember,

that what happens on the track
and what happens on
your home television

are as different as
morning, noon and night.

For example,
take the hitting.

Now, if you hit in the way
you are being taught,

the people will be happy.

And you will not have
to go to the hospital.

Now, the kicking,

always,

and I repeat myself, always,

make sure the person
you're gonna kick
knows you're gonna kick them.

Now you'll find out the reason
for this, the first time
you're on the receiving end

of a kick you
weren't prepared for.

And when you are hit,

and when you are kicked,

let the people know
you are in pain.

Now, we have several different
types of screams.

And you'll have many
occasions to use them all,
I promise you.

Now, you're all aware of
the rules, by which
the game is played

The jammer puts on
their helmet and goes one time
all the way around the track.

And then passes
the pack in whatever way
he or she is able to do so.

And one point is awarded
for every opponent
that the jammer passes.

Now those are the rules
as far as the people
are concerned.

As far as you're concerned,
the rules are...

To let the people see
what they come here to see.

They want to see a lot
of fighting, so we give them
a lot of fighting.

And the fighting occurs...

Where the people can see it.

These positions are known
by the terminology
Fight Position A...

What is he using so much
chalk for? Doesn't he know
chalk costs money?

...C...

And,

Fight Position D.

Which is the infield,
or the central portion
of the track

-[KNOCK ON DOOR]
-Yes?

Hi.

Uh, Karen Walker.

I, uh...
They send me for a physical.

Would you like me
to take my clothes off?

Oh, yes. Yes, I would.

Yes, well if you'll
just sit on the table, now.

Oh! Whoo!

-Cold?
-Yeah.

We'll warm it up,
there, for you.

C'mere. Come. Come.

Don't you use instruments
or something?

Young woman,
the human hand

is the most efficient
instrument ever devised.

-Oh.
-If you'll turn around now.

Hey, are you a real doctor?

I pursued my studies at
not only one,

-but three medical
schools, and I...
-[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

Sorry to barge in.

-I just wanted
some more pills.
-Excuse me.

You remember
what they looked like?

They looked like pills.
What should they look like?

Well, were they red,
green, blue?

I should remember.
[CHUCKLES]
Uh...

I don't know, they
just looked like pills.

Here. Try these.

-Nice and warm.
-Yeah, well...
[CLEARS THROAT]

That's the first thing
they teach us
at the doctor school.

How to warm up a table.

Did you know there are
nine different kinds
of hospital tables?

-No!
-And, uh...

And nine different ways
of warming them up.

Hey, am I all right?

Oh, yes. Yes, you're fine,
as we doctors say.

-You're in fine shape.
-Good.

Then you finish.

Yes, I guess I can.

-Oh, uh. Do you need
any pills or anything?
-No. No thanks.

Uh, well here's something
you'll be wanting.

Orthopedic skate inserts.
All the skaters use 'em,
you know.

-Oh! Where can I buy a pair?
-Where? Right here!

$6.95 a pair, you buy them
from me, and they're
medically approved.

Now, how many pairs
can you use?

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

-What was that?
-MAN: God, sounds like
an earthquake.

[GIGGLES]

Staying here today?

[PANTING] No, I was just
getting used to how it feels.

Well, how do I look?

-You look terrific, but
it's 2:30 in the afternoon.
-Ooh, you're kidding.

Ooh, I figured
it'd be 6:00 by now.

Your suit's going to get a
little wrinkled sitting around
there like that, isn't it?

All right, I'll take it off!

ANNOUNCER: Well, we're in
the top half of the
second period here.

For big exciting sixth game
in a row between the Avengers
and the Demons.

You know, the Avengers
have won the last five.

They're up for another victory
and Nick Diminez,
the captain of the team,

number six,
is determined to win.

Nick Diminez, in the six years
he's been with the Avengers,

he's skated over
3,150 miles and
scored 27,000 points

which, of course, means
his name is included in the
roller roster of golden scores

with 10 platinum
stars following.

Well, you know there's
some folks here from
the Golden Amber Beer Company.

Forty-two salesmen,
to be exact.

They're sponsoring
the game in part.

Golden Amber Beer,
"The beer that's light,
the beer that's right,

"the beer that's
ecologically correct."
In the new deposit bottles.

"Golden Amber Beer,
everybody's pleasure."

Well, looking out on the track
I see that Angie's wearing
her hot pants...

Look at her go!
Oh, give them a leg,
there, Angie.

Our own Angie Striker,
everybody loves her.
Everybody should.

Well, I see there's
some new faces
on the Avenger bench tonight.

Anxious to get into
the game, yes, skaters
that are unproved...

MICKEY: Hi, sweetie. When you
gonna come out and play
with the big girls?

You can see these exciting,
thrilling, roller competitions
in person

by simply calling
Capital 2-1-5-3-3
for reservations.

Be here and see the players
in person, live. Right here
at Stern Stadium,

Capital 2-1-5-3-3.

Hey! When do I get to skate?

Soon as one of the regulars
breaks a leg.

Would you make it quick?

Angie Striker, Angie Striker!
Horace McKay is standing
on the track again.

-Will you get him
out of there, please!
-Stay!

ANNOUNCER: Incidentally, Jack,
I just received a wonderful
telegram from Chad and Trixie

of the Summit Truck Stop Cafe
and they say, "Go go go
Avengers!"

Great Avenger fans, Chad and
Trixie, and they haven't
missed a game on television

for three-and-a-half years.
Every single game for
three-and-a-half years!

[GROANS]

ANNOUNCER: An illegal block by
Amy Rocco!

ANNOUNCER: Robert Marshall
went crashing into the rail.

No! Goddamnit!

ANNOUNCER: The brusher was
invented by Johnny Bazar
many years ago.

Little Primo waves
off traffic. Doc Morgan
comes out to

administer aid to
the fallen girl.

Doc Morgan, by the way, is not
only our wonderful house
physician but has done

important research on the
subject of alcohol and its
effect on competitive sport.

Marshall. Go tell the Voice of
America they're sending the
new broad in.

ANNOUNCER: It definitely looks
like Roberta Marshall has
to be replaced.

I don't know by who
because she's the star
blocker of the Avengers.

Who have we got left, Harry?

HARRY: Oh, they're replacing
her with number 3.

I've never heard of
her. Who is she?

ANNOUNCER: Well, Karen comes
to us from the food-processing
industry...

Go! Go! Go!

ANNOUNCER: Oh, lots of life,
these smoking skaters,
reaching for that shining star

of success, and she's reaching
tonight.

She does a lap of the track by
way of saying hello to the max
capacity crowd and they say,

"Hello Karen, let's see a few
good plays. Go go go Karen
Walker of California!"

ANNOUNCER: There's Marvin
again.

Can't we finish one
game without that
monster on the track?

What's he doing out
there, Harry?

HARRY: It looks like he's
handing out masks to the
entire losing team.

That's what he is doing. He's
giving them all masks.

Isn't that illegal?

[CROWD BOOING]

In fact, our own Angie Striker
wrote a letter to the
commission about these masks.

As yet, the commission
hasn't reached a decision so
my hands are tied.

I just don't know, Jack.

JACK: Horace should hide his
face behind a mask, he's
a disgrace to the game.

What a bold toreador!

[SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY]

Off the track, off the track!
Come on.

One, two, three!

He made it just in time,
before the three-second

recovery rule went
into effect.

And I'm told that he's gonna
get another 25-dollar fine for
mouthing off to a referee.

HARRY: That man never learns.

JACK: Oh, a mean blocking
for Karen Walker and
down she goes.

HARRY: This looks like it
might be the beginning of
a war, Jack.

[INAUDIBLE ANNOUNCER BANTER]

HARRY: Very spunky.

JACK: There she goes!
Look at her!

Fallen to the ground
and she ripped off her mask!

Look at that, she tore the
mask right off her face!

[CROWD ROARING]

HARRY: A victory souvenir.

Lady Rock on the big beef
goes, "Moo moo moo!
Moo moo moo!"

Certainly a slap in the face
to the mild-tempered Horace
McKay.

Take off your mask
and fall away.

[CROWD JEERING]

There she is, Karen Parker
flaunting that mask!

You see?

You see what I mean about
showmanship? That's why I'm
the boss.

I know about showmanship.
That's why you're just
my son-in-law.

MR. STERN: You don't know
nothing about showmanship.

Now, that broad. She knows
about showmanship.

You're all a bunch of goddamn
cheerleaders. You can't block
worth a shit.

You skate like a bunch of
paraplegics.

And you fight like you're
afraid your goddamn makeup's
gonna get smeared.

Jesus, I wish you
were competition when
I was coming up.

Why, I'd be a millionaire
three times over today.

And you, Godzilla. Yeah,
muscles made you a big star.
Well, use them!

Do any of you remember
the game plane?

That's what tells you what
we're gonna do in the game.

You goddamn skaters
can follow it.

Jesus, I don't know.

It's like talking to a bunch
of goddamn ballerinas.

Shit!

Hey, that was a good idea,
grabbing that mask like that.

Thanks. Coming from you,
that's a compliment.

Only you shouldn't have
done it.

Why not?

Because nobody knew you were
gonna do it.

So what?

So what? Somebody could've
missed a block or you could've
screwed up a jam or

broken your goddamn neck,
that's what's so what.

You did a real good job for
your first night.

Now what's that supposed
to mean?

You just wanna stick
a little closer to the game
plan is all.

And do what you're told,
you'll keep your job longer.

And get a little more meat on
those bones!

What the hell is this?

[CACKLING]

[ALL LAUGHING]

This isn't for a skate.
It's for a goddamn girl
to count!

[LAUGHING UPROARIOUSLY]

[LAUGHING]

They're real friendly,
aren't they?

It's a tough game. If you
can't take it...

If I can't take what?

Ah, don't let it get to you.

What are you doing after this?

I got some friends waiting.

We go to this little bar in
Venice. You oughta come,

seeing it's Sugar's night
and all.

You know, surely could
help you want to be part
of the team.

I am part of the team.

You got a uniform. You ain't
part of the team yet.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

So the guy says, "We always do
it on our hands and knees."

"You know? Dog fashion?"

And the doctor tells him,
"That's why you got a back
ache all the time!"

And the guy says, "But how
else could we both watch TV?"

[LAUGHING]

How's it going so far?

Oh, it's all right. I can't
say the company's too great.

Oh, you gotta live with 'em
for a while. You oughta take
it easy at first.

No one told me to take it easy
when they hired me.

It ain't gonna make you any
friends, babe.

I never had trouble
making friends.

Tell you what. Why don't you
go find me a beer?

Go on. Meanwhile, I'll try to
think of something for us to
do later on.

Okay?

Hey, doll? Gimme a beer.

Hey, wanna finish the game?

Keep your slimy hands off me!

What are you, crazy?

I was just playing.

Well, go play with somebody
else!

I wanna play with you.

Come on, let's teach her
a lesson!

[GROANING]

[MICKEY LAUGHING]

I've heard of ugly dykes
in my life.

But I never figured one would
be so ugly, she'd have to go
through all this trouble

just to get a chick to strip
for her.

How about you, bitch?

You ever been this close to a
decent-looking body before?

Take a good look, all of you.

Because that's all you're
get is a look.

But I will remember
this, lover.

And whenever I want a pair of
big, strong arms to help me,

I'll go find me a man.

And you. You'd like to have
me, wouldn't you?

I suppose you'd steal some
blind man's dog, huh? Look.
Get your own.

Don't push it, darling.
You're not pretty enough
to fight for.

All right, cool it.

Let's go. Let's go,
come on, baby.

Take it easy. Calm down,
come on.

Let's get over here, babe.

Why did they do this to me?

I mean, how am I gonna walk
home like this?

One thing at a time, huh?
Now just sit down.

Are you okay, huh? Stay here
a minute by yourself.

I'm gonna go in there and
see if there's anything left
of your clothes.

Hey...
You're gonna come
back, aren't you?

You out here, I'm gonna
stay in there?

It's true. Right there, on the
motorcycle. She doesn't have
anything on.

[STAMMERING]

Wait, wait, wait... She's
looking at...

I think I better go, she's...
She's... She's coming for me.

There might be a whole gang of
'em, you never can tell these
days. Yep. Bye.

Kinda messed 'em up.

Yeah.

Hey, come on. Get up.

Come on. Come on.

There you go. Come on.

Thanks for getting my stuff.

If it makes you feel any
better, you really freaked 'em
out in there, you know that?

Yeah?

Why don't you let me take
you home?

Your house or mine?

Same difference.

[LAUGHING]

Let's not go home right away.

Where do you wanna go?

I don't know. Feels good just
to ride.

Hey, hey, come on now.
Put it back

[GUNSHOT]

Watch it, Karen. Don't do
that. Put it back!

Not again, Karen.

[GUNSHOT]

All right, that's it. Knock
it off.

[GUNSHOT]

Hey, did your mom ever tell
you about playing with guns,
little girl?

Nope.

She just told me to be careful
they didn't go off.

You keep playing with that one
and it's just liable to go
off. Now put it back.

Let me drive. I can out-drive
you with my eyes closed.

Yeah, that's what I'm
afraid of.

Jesus, goddamn!

[SNORING]

[DOOR SLAMS]

Nick!

You damn near scared the shit
out of me, boy.

I thought I had that damn
door locked.

We're just coming by to get
a little practice.

Mind if we go rolling?

Yep.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[GROANS]

[YELPING]

[KAREN EXCLAIMING]

[GROANING]

[LAUGHING]

NICK: That's it.

[EXCLAIMING]

GREG: Why'd she want us to
meet her here?

DONNA: Don't ask them any
questions, huh?

I don't understand what
they've been doing in there.
Practicing all night or what?

Listen, when she comes out,
you'll know what's been doing,
all right?

Hey! Donna, Greg, meet Nick.

Nick, that one's Donna.
That's Greg.

Hi.

Well, hi, Nick. How you doing?

Nick's one of our skaters.

-Oh really?
-Uh-huh.

GREG: Well, get in!

[ALL LAUGHING]

What's been going on, anyway?

-Guess what?
-What?

I got paid! Cash!

Yeah, let's get one of those
organic burgers!

-All right.
-Right on.

Oh, come on, Tookie. Come on!

[ALL SCREAMING]

[POP MUSIC PLAYING]

[GIGGLING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

Why don't you get one of
these tattoos?

Oh, yeah, wouldn't I look
terrific with a butterfly like
that on my arm?

Yeah. It would look great.

-Go on, Nick. I dare you.
-I dare you.

All right, I will.

I want a tattoo.

MAN: Just go around to the
door on the side there.

You're kidding.

Oh Greg, get a tattoo for me,
would you?

A big heart right here that
says, "Donna, I love you."

-I can't.
-Why?

Well, I can't have any scars,
moles, tattoos, any
identifying marks of any kind.

Why?

Because of my profession!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

ANNOUNCER: Here we are again
in San Diego, home of Uncle
Sam's Pacific League

and the dirty Demons.

Well, Mickey Martinez is back
from her two-week vacation
well-rested

but seven pounds overweight.
Just enough to have Uncle
Sam's...

[GROANING]

Say, girls, do you know that
your favorite skating star is
probably wearing a Billie Joe

Quinn wig, a wig that stays
put. Made of miracle Mylar,
they are fire-resistant and

attractive. The Quinn wig can
be found at Ginch Hardware in

National City, next to the
bus station.

What do you think?

What do I think?

I hate to say this, Marshall,
but Mickey's not selling
tickets like she used to.

Even out of town.

On his home turf tonight, Max
Marvin says "I'm looking for
you, Mickey Martinez."

"Come up and get yours."

Mickey's cross to the idea. Of
course, she's never been down
by Marvin, ever.

Marvin says, "Come around once
more and I'll prove it."

[MICKEY EXCLAIMING]

There he goes, he puts her
against the rail.

One, two, blam, blam.
Down she goes.

HARRY: Down she goes in
a blaze of glory.

We better think of
something to put a little
fire in this game.

All right, what do you
want to do?

Look, go down to the Voice of
America. Tell him to keep
pushing Karen. Karen, Karen!

Now you're talking.

I'm talking, but you're not
listening. Go!

JACK: Well, that was
a stunning display of
cowardice by Marvin.

He wouldn't dare do that if he
wasn't at his home track.

Look at that!

Karen Walker says, "I don't
care whose track you're on,

"you won't do that to
an Avenger."

One, two, three, wham, bam,
thank you, sir.

A left and a right and a left
and a down and a sideways
and a front to back and up!

HARRY: Down he goes
like a ton of hot air,
right onto the track.

Max Marvin gets what he
deserves and now she's giving
the crowd the victory salute.

JACK: But what...

HARRY: What is that on her
arm? I can't...

It's a tattoo. It's a tattoo.
It's the Avengers insignia.

A flying, winged rollerskate.

JACK: That certainly is.
What a girl.

Young Karen Walker,
there's a girl who's certainly
on fire tonight.

HARRY: Well, Mickey Martinez
is taking a break against
the rails saying,

"Whoo, I'm a little weathered
after that beating, I'm
a little tired, I'm a little

rusty tonight. Karen, you take
the helmet, you take the jam,
I'm going to take it easy."

JACK: Ah, but I don't think
there's gonna be much rest for
Mickey Martinez tonight.

Rocco says, "Move in
a little closer, Mickey, I've
been waiting for you."

Wham-o!

[GROANING]

JACK: Down she goes.

First Harmon and now Rocco,
I've never seen Mickey take
a beating like this before.

HARRY: Look at this. Horace
McKay is over there giving
her a few kicks.

That's probably the only way
that man ever gets his kicks.

You know, I heard he was
refused a job in the circus
when it was found out how

chicken he was.

JACK: Well, Margaret says,
"We'll win tonight."

When Karen says, "Nothing
doing..."

HARRY: Wham! Two big points.
Look at that tattoo, it's
really what tonight is.

That scoreboard is spinning
like a roulette wheel.

See, Marshall? I keep drilling
it in your head. Competition
is good for business.

Yeah, like showmanship?

HARRY: Well, Karen Walker
certainly saved the game after

Mickey Martinez went
down tonight.

She's sailing through these
Demons like a woman possessed

and picking up points
all the way.

She's point-crazy and
look at that! Boom!

Amy Rocco bruises the basement
with her tremendous weight and

she seeks refuge
under the table!

HARRY: Like a turtle crawling
into a shell.

JACK: Get in there, Rocco.

The entire team appears to be
after her tonight. Angie's
going at her with a whip,

laying it on her hot
and heavy.

I'll tell you, this is
a sensational game.

[SQUABBLING AND SCREAMING]

JACK: Visit the King Kong Kat
Korner, everything for your
pussy in La Mesa.

HARRY: Well, with Karen Walker
a new blood in this game
tonight, it certainly

has turned into
a free-for-all.

[CROWD BOOING]

Karen Walker is just what the
Avengers needed to breeze off
sacking Mickey Martinez.

A sensational performance by
Miss Karen Walker, the newest
addition to the Avenger team.

Hello, Karen Walker.

Hello Karen Walker,
from all of us.

[BLUES MUSIC PLAYING]

You know it looks like,
to me, I'm in the same
place as you are.

Whatever you say, Joe.

And, just then, in walks the
farmer's daughter.

And the salesman looks at the
farmer, and the farmer says to
the salesman,

"Yep. Did it the hard way."

"Standing up in a canoe."

[LAUGHING UPROARIOUSLY]

Can I have a Cloret?

Keep 'em.

Now she thinks it's her
breath. Before that, it was
her goddamn armpits!

She's always got some reason
nobody'll ball her.

And the real reason is she's
the lousiest ball on this bus.

That's fantastic.

Thanks. The crowd really
loves it. They eat it up.

Look. We got no reason to
be worried.

How long have we been on top?
Four years?

Something like that.

And how long's Stern been
keeping somebody behind us?

Four years.

And he'll be keeping
a second skater pushing
us another four.

I wouldn't know about that.

The only thing that's
sure is it ain't gonna
be Karen Walker.

We'll still be on top.

When she's just some old bitch
on the street with a friggin'
tattoo on her arm.

Oh, come on, Mickey.
You know this racket better
than that.

So the guy looks down at the
both of 'em and he says,

"I'm surprised at you. You
mean you've never done
anything like this before?"

And the dog says,
"Sure. I never had the money."

[ALL LAUGHING]

NICK: Hey, Karen?

I want you to meet my
wife, Tina.

Tina, this is Karen. Karen,
this is Tina.

Hi.

Fine. How are you?

Got yourself a hell of
a husband.

[SCOFFING]

-She knows that, don't you?
-Uh-huh.

Want a stick of gum?

Thanks.

Hey, come on. Let's go baby.
Come on.

Nice to meet ya.

See ya.

I didn't know Nick
was married.

What do you care?

What he needs is some
upward mobility.

Honey, that's one thing he's
got plenty of.

So where do you want it?

Right here is good.

Right here?

If you put it in the middle of
the room, someone's gonna
break their neck.

How else are you gonna be able
to watch TV?

Yeah, we gotta be able to see
the TV.

You can't stick it in the
middle of the room!

Hey, look!

Whose house is this?

Hey, quiet. Quiet.

What's on TV?

It's on!

Hi. We're the skating stars
from the LA Avengers.

And when we get through with
a rough night on the track,
you can bet we ache all over.

We didn't know what to do
about it until we heard about
the amazing Rocket Chair.

[SIGHS]

Oh! This wonderful little
invention takes away all
those aches and pains

in a soothing, satisfying
five minutes.

When I get home from a hard
day at work, you can bet

I head straight for my
Rocket Chair.

Why, there's nothing a Rocket
Chair can't do for a girl's
tired body.

Or a man. Or a child.

[LAUGHING]

The Rocket Chair will vibrate
your back, your legs,
your arms,

massage your neck and feet,

and send stimulating yet
harmless electric shocks
through your body.

It'll give you that pep
and energy.

It'll even help you take
inches off that tummy.

KAREN ON TV: I'm so glad
I have a Rocket Chair.

That was great.

You like a movie star or
something?

Yeah, it was really great
seeing you on TV. You wanna
sign here?

Thanks. Great watching you
move the furniture.

[LAUGHING]

See ya.

See you guys later.

You really liked it, huh?

Yeah, really.

GREG: Karen, you
were fantastic.

I'd go out and buy one
of those things if
I had any money.

We'll get one soon
enough, too. As soon as
we open our shop.

What shop?

Greg and me are
going into business.

Together?

Sure. We're gonna combine our
talents and make a fortune.

We're gonna open a topless
bike repair shop!

[LAUGHS]

A topless bike repair shop?
You're kidding.

In Oregon.

They've never seen anything
like that there.

Or down here either,
I'd guess.

Yeah, we're gonna do that

as soon as we get
our money together.

Gotta have enough
so I can keep on
taking dancing lessons.

Well, do you want some money?

-Oh.
-No, we're gonna do it
on our own.

Hey, you're not leaving
just because I'm making
lots of money now, are you?

-No.
-No.

We've been talking about it
for a long time.

Well, you can stay.
I mean, you don't have to go.

I want you to stay.

We have to go.

Really, we do.

Yeah. We do.
We have to go.

We've got all
the time you want.

So glad you could
come down with me.

I just couldn't face doing
this whole thing alone.

I mean, look at this car.

I mean,
it's really horrible.

Say, can I be of some help
to you ladies?

Yeah. I wanna buy a car.

Well, this here's
a beauty, here.
A '68.

Got 180 thousand
miles on it

and got 180 thousand miles
more left in it.

But I'll tell you what,
it's a great buy

for $795.

Belonged to an old
friend of mine.

She took good care of it.

But you know, it looks like
you could really use a car.

I'm gonna let you have
this car for $100 less,

$695.

I don't want your
friend's crappy old car.

I beg your pardon.

I want a new car.

And with a lot of chrome.

Well, I could show you
something newer,
but, uh,

of course, we're going to
have to run a credit check.

I got credit
all over this town.

-Can I ask you
your occupation?
-Sure.

Look at this.

That's me.

I know you. You're
the boom boom girl,
from television.

-Yeah.
-"Boom boom!"

-I remember you.
-That's me.

Say, I'll tell you...

By the way, what's your name?

Consuelo Cardeniz.

Oh, yes. I'll tell you what,

you come with me
inside to the showroom.

I'm gonna show you our cars

that are just gorgeous.

-Come on.
-Come on. Come on.

Yeah. I got some
beauties in here.

Take a look.

It's got the most beautiful
leather seats you've
ever seen.

Go ahead, try it.
Sit down.

Feel how they hug you.

They're right close
to your body.

The most beautiful thing
you have ever seen
is in this car.

It has a special carburator.
Dual carburators to be exact.

It has an air
conditioning system.

It has a special lock
on this thing,

locks the doors,
locks the trunk,

raises your antenna,

and I'm gonna tell you,
if you drove this car into
a brick wall,

you wouldn't know
what hit you.

Will you come out,
I wanna show you
a few other things

this car comes equipped with.

It's got chrome hubcaps.

It's got a tinted windshield.

It's got a vinyl top that's
strong enough for you
to go roller skating on.

Sounds good,
but it needs rugs.

-Throw rugs.
-Rugs, throw rugs.

-Lots more chrome.
-We can put our super
chrome package

-on each side of this car.
-Well, what is that?

-Well, you see...
-Take it. And a horse
right here.

And paint it blue
with a white top.

Blue with a white top
and a horse on the hood.

How soon can she have it?

Oh, it'll take weeks. Weeks.

But, uh...
But, uh...

I can get it for you
real soon, ma'am.

What'd you have to tell Tina?

I didn't have to
tell Tina nothing.

Saturday is my day to shoot.

That's a fact of life.

But does she know
what you're shooting?

Ha ha, that's real funny.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

Hey, look.
You came to
watch me shoot?

Well, shut up and
watch me shoot.

Now, watch this.

Crappy shot.

Oh, what the hell do you...

Watch.

Not bad. Let me try.

Shut up.

Come on, big shot.
At least give me a try.

Okay, try.

Thanks.

-I did it!
-Beginner's luck.

Beginner's luck twice?

It's empty. You gotta load it.
Here, move out of the way.

Now look, we got some
safety and sanity rules

when you fire a gun
at a range,
you understand?

Now, you squeeze off
your shot.

You're not flippin' them off
like some little fairy.

You stand on the firing line
and you point your gun
down range.

All right, here.
Try it again.

Hey, not at my head.
Down range. All right?

-[GLASS BREAKING]
-Don't shoot the place apart
like that.

Stop it. Don't do
stuff like that.

How about that?

How about that?
Who's gonna
pay for all that?

How would you like to be
my next target? Why don't you
stand down there for me.

All right, give me
the gun, Karen.

Come on, you know I'm not
a very good shot. You just
saw the evidence.

Yeah, bullshit you're
not a good shot.
Give me the gun.

Stand right there
and don't move.

That's right.

I don't even want to
see you breathing hard.

Kiss me.

ANNOUNCER 1: Coming out of
the south turn, Karen Walker
grits her teeth and says,

"I need one more big
Avenger point to put me
over the top."

ANNOUNCER 2:
Over the top on
Mickey Martinez's

all-time scoring record
average of 38/62...

That's enough to put her in
the Roller Silver Skate
Hall of Fame if she gets it.

It's impressive but she
may do it tonight.

She's within two points
of breaking Mickey's record.
Three points of breaking it.

Mickey Martinez can't be any
too happy with that.

That Karen is terrific.

Yeah, she's all right,
but she needs
a little controlling.

ANNOUNCER 1:
Karen Walker has certainly
earned the right...

In the crowd here tonight,
there's two of our
oldest friends, Jack,

Mrs. Flynn and
Princess Sha Ra Ga.

They haven't missed
one game of the 1742
consecutive games...

-Get her! Get her! Get her!
- ...played by the Avengers,

right here at Stern Stadium.

Good fans, true fans,
loyal fans, saying,

"Go, go, go, Avengers."

Karen Walker goes for
the old slingshot.

Whammo, right through
the fork and it looks
like she's very close

to picking up that
all-important point.

ANNOUNCER 2:
This may be it, Jack, she's
sailing around now.

She's ready to do it.
She's going right and...

Masked Marvin.
They're way out.

Look at that.
Masked Marvin...

What the fuck do you
think you're doing?

Sorry. Accident.

ANNOUNCER 2:
...a few words
among themselves.

What's your problem?

Ah, they think they're gonna
make that new kid
a star overnight.

They're gonna have to
deal with me first.

Stern can do anything
he wants to.

Now you got ten seconds
to get back in there.

To hell with them.

You better get going,

or you're gonna pick up your
unemployment in a wheelchair.

Excitement reaches
a feverish pitch as
Karen skates over

to say hello to the
Karen Walker fan club

from her home town.
Look at that. Mickey
just grabbed the helmet away

from Karen and said
"I think I'll make a few
points of my own."

Karen goes right into
Rap Reynolds.

Oh. Bad rap, Rap Reynolds.
And there she goes.

Karen Walker, there's nothing
that can stop her tonight.

She's after Mickey again,
she says, "Mickey,
I want you to step over here

"and talk to you
about a few things, here.
Co-captain,

"but you're not running
the whole show."

Mickey calls for help.

Mickey calls for help
and a dirty Demon has to come
and help Mickey attack Karen.

I've never seen anything
like this in 14 years
on the track.

Mickey Martinez called Roacho
to help her beat up her own
team mate, Karen Walker.

Stinking is what I call it.

ANNOUNCER 2: Well,
it's unbelievable. I think
this is a good time to read

a telegram just handed to me
from the commission.

It's marked Top Secret,
but I think these fans should
know about it anyway.

Listen to this.

Listen to this, Rickey
Martinez, who was the skating
star of the Avengers,

up until now, has been
traded down,

down, down to
the San Diego Demons.

ANNOUNCER 1:
And there's no kidding
about it, she acts like one.

ANNOUNCER 2: Oh, no more will
Mickey Martinez skate

in the orange
and black of the Avengers.

From now on she'll be in
the dingy green of
the San Diego Demons.

Well, that certainly puts
Karen Walker at
the top of the heap.

She's queen of all
she surveys now.

She broke Mickey's record...

Okay, so now the queen
of the lunatics is #1.

Who've we got for #2?

How about Little Debbie?
She's really been
working hard.

No, no. What's the name of
that black broad from Fresno?

-Beverly Brayton?
-Yeah, look,

you'll call Seymour in Fresno.
Tell him to put her
on the bus tomorrow.

Yeah, but is she good enough?

Good enough, bad enough,
who cares?

The suckers will love her.
Marshall, remember
what I told you.

Yeah, I know. Showmanship.

You'll call Seymour
first thing.

Yes, Pop.

Some son-in-law.

What's your name?

-Frank.
-Frank?

Thanks for the marshmallows.

Take care. You ready?

Why don't you wait outside?

What are you some kind
of queen?

You gotta get dressed
in private or something?

Come on.

Yeah, I am some kind of queen.

Off with your head.

[GIGGLING]

Why don't you act like
a normal person? Huh?

'Cause I'm not
a normal person.

Oh, yeah?

I'm a star!

And that means you should
appreciate me more.

You know, it's not
everyone who gets to
go out with a star.

Jesus, you know if I had
any more sense, I'd go
back with Tina right now.

I mean, she's twice the person
you are, you know that?

And I'm ten times the woman
that she is.

[GIGGLING]

Yeah, some star.

Hey, man, look.

If you don't dig it,
you can just split.

[BOTH YELLING]

Now you take those skates off,
honey, and you're nothing.

You're not even real.

Yeah?

Well, when you take
those pants off,

you're nothing.

Well, you didn't say that
before, honey. You didn't
say that before.

Well, let's just say it was
week for hire the handicapped

and I obliged you, Nick.

Take it to Tina.

Maybe then she won't
have to go around with all
the other guys on the team.

You goddamn bitch,
if it wasn't for you...
[YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

Yes, they'll talk. You gonna
ask what they tell her?

Why don't you tell me?

Maybe they tell her what it's
like to be with a real man.

Bitch!

Phew.

Man, you even
fight like a girl.

Don't toy with me.
Don't try me!

[GROANS]

[GROANING] God damn...

You won't be happy
until you have your own
set of balls!

Honey, I got balls.

Yours.

God damn...

Oh, shit!

Hi, I'm Karen Walker,

skating star of
the L.A. Avengers,

and I'm skating today
for the amazing Zap Pens.

You just saw
the kind of punishment
I put this Zap Pen through

while I was skating
down the street.

Now I'm going to show you
that the Zap Pen can withstand
any kind of pressure,

even the torture I put my
skates through.

Z...

A...

P.

Zap!

See? That's how fantastic
the Zap Pen is!

Why, it's so great,
it's the official pen
of the Skating Scorers.

And you can bet,
when I sign an autograph,
it's with a Zap Pen.

Oh, by the way,

that's Z-A-P.

Zap.

KAREN: You don't have to go,
you know?

Look, I'll even pay for half
your dancing lessons.

We gotta do it!

You can come up and see us
sometime, you know,
when you get some time off.

I'm sure you know,
there's plenty
of room to stay.

-Sure.
-Well...

Take care of yourself, Donna.

-Goodbye.
-Goodbye.

The traffic's starting
to build up, so I guess
we better head off.

You need some money?

[CHUCKLES]

Well, we could use
a couple of bucks
to get started.

-Bye.
-Bye, Karen.

DONNA: Come and see us!

[VEHICLE STARTING]

Marshall, go check
cashier number two.

I checked there already.

Go check it again, huh?

Oh. Lunchtime.

-Hello, Mr. Stern.
-Hello, Beverly.

Tell me, did you have
a nice trip?

Oh, yeah. It was all right.

Mr. Stern, I really want
to thank you for letting
me be an Avenger.

Ah, look. By me, a promise
is a promise.

I like you. And if I like
a girl she could do okay.

Well, I like you, too,
Mr. Stern.

You're gonna start out.
You're gonna be
our number two girl.

But keep this in mind,

every number one girl
started out number two.

And in a couple of months,
I'm gonna send a team
to Europe

on an exhibition tour.

And I still haven't made up
who's gonna be my star.

Well, I'll keep that in mind.

Please do. The lockers
are right over there.

You'll find your name on one.

Thank you.

See you out on the track,
darling.

JACK: Now, Harry,
three weeks ago tonight,

Dickie Martinez was
traded down to the Demons

for beating up
her own teammate,
Karen Walker,

and here she is tonight
for the first time
in Demon green.

Everyone's looking forward
to the coming conflict
with great interest.

The fans are on the edges
of their seats. The excitement
is almost too great.

Hey, you wanna do something
later on?

No, thanks.

Let's go for a delightful ride
or something, all right?

How boring.

Hey, come on.

What's the matter?

Peter's not enough for you
anymore?

HARRY: Yes, Jack, a rivalry
between these two girls
is something to behold.

Once the greatest of friends,
they're now
the bitterest enemies.

Mickey in her green
Demon suit,

and Karen still skating
in the orange and black
of her own Avengers.

There's a new girl
in effect.

JACK: Ooh, and there is our
newcomer, Beverly Brayton,

who just dropped
her first Demon
in her very first game.

Sensational, Beverly.
Sensational.

[BUZZER SOUNDS]

HARRY: That was commissioned
by skater Beverly Brayton.

This is the first time she's
skating in the honorable
colors of the Avengers,

but she's doing a bang-up job,
and I mean that in every way
possible, Jack.

JACK: Indeed, Harry,
the crowd is really beginning
to warm up to Beverly,

and Karen looks none too happy
about it to me.

HARRY: That's true.

The Karen Walker smile
has not been in evidence
tonight,

because some of that thunder
is going to Beverly.

And I'm sure that seeing her
old friend Mickey in the green
of Demons

isn't making her any
too happy, either.

JACK: Exactly.

Well, here comes Mickey,
out from the infield
to settle and old score.

Ooh, she knocks Karen down,
armed with a vicious
windmill chop.

She certainly learned those
dirty Demon tricks in a hurry,
doesn't she?

HARRY: Only three weeks
and she knows all
the dirty tricks.

Horace McKay has been
coaching her personally.

That sucker needs
some killing.

It's an exciting game tonight.

The fans are really almost
unable to control themselves

because of that
tremendous air of tension
between the two rival girls.

JACK: Ooh, and it's
a triple slam.

Mickey knocks down Karen,
and Beverly drops Mickey.

Look at that Beverly go!
A real Avenger.

HARRY: Karen and Mickey
are at each other's throats
like two mad dogs.

The hate and violence
has reached a peak

and the fans say,
"No, no, we want blood."

So whose blood do they want?

Kick her ass!

Kick her ass!

Now, it's been building
for weeks. We couldn't have
expected anything less.

Look at 'em go.

Jack, it's a fight to
the finish between two girls
lost in a frenzy of hate.

The referees are powerless
in the face of this white-hot
violence.

How can this slaughter
be stopped?

JACK: Harry, I've just been
handed a telegram with the
decision from the commission.

Maybe we have
our answer in that.
I'd rather you read it.

HARRY: Listen to this.

A match race tonight
between Karen and Mickey,

to see who is the queen
of this arena.

-[BUZZER SOUNDS]
- Well, we'll all know
in a few minutes.

JACK: Well, Harry,
here it is.

The big moment that hundreds,
thousands of fans have been
waiting for.

The match race,
the grudge race
between Karen and Mickey.

And there they go!

Look at that. They got almost
six feet before they started
beating each other up.

HARRY: Yes, most of the folks
came out today to see

the hate of a good friendship
gone wrong.

Mickey in the green
of the Demons,

and Karen in the orange
and black of the Avengers.

These girls once liked
each other so much,

it's a sad thing to see them
hating each other
this way, now.

But it's a spectacular show,

one that will be repeated
for many a moon, I tell you.

It's difficult to describe
exactly what's happening
from up here,

because one minute Karen's up,
one minute Karen's down.

Give it to her!
Give it to her!
At a girl!

Mickey's up one minute,
Mickey's down.

Fists flying. Skates flashing.

Kicking, scratching, knocking.

A brawling,
feuding fisticuff...

[YELLING]

You know, in a private
interview before the game,

Mickey confided to me that
Karen wouldn't make it through
this evening,

and here it looks that way.

[CROWD YELLING]

JACK: It's very close
to the edge, now.
The battle royal continues.

Karen Walker knocks
Mickey through the railing,

and Mickey lands on
a sharp edge of a bleacher.
[EXCLAIMS]

HARRY: It was a short
match race, Jack,
but a violent one.

JACK: The crowd is attacking
her and is on top of her,

and it really looks bad
and poorly after
that bad fall.

The crowd clears back
a little bit.

Mickey is lying still,
unable to move, apparently.

They're calling for
Dr. Morgan,

and of course we've
got to wait for his
professional opinion,

but it looks to me
like it could be serious.

[CROWD CHEERING]

HARRY: I'm afraid Mickey's
unconscious.

Poor Mickey Martinez
on her first night as a Demon.

JACK: Meanwhile,
Karen Walker skates
off the track

giving her triumphant
tattoo salute.

Referee looks worried.

[BLOWS WHISTLE]

This beautiful,
expensive trophy

is just our way of telling you
how much we appreciate
your efforts.

What's the deal?

I get a trophy every time
I put someone in the hospital?

We had this one made special.

There's one thing we'd
like you to keep in mind.

The people are happy,
we're happy.

We're happy,
we keep you happy, okay?

Congratulations.

Thanks.

Now, maybe you'll go outside
and autograph a couple
of programs?

Sure.

Oh, and Karen,

Maybe you could pay
a little more attention
to the game plan, huh?

-Marshall.
-Hmm?

How many more of those
cockamamie statues
we got left?

Just two.

Call Ernie, tell him
to send out another
couple of dozen.

Oh, tell him to put two
on the plane tomorrow.

I want them to be in Detroit
when I get there.

Right.

Oh, Marshall,

have the sprouts in my
office tomorrow.

Lunchtime?

Lunchtime.

What time is it?

Superstar.

Get your goddamn foot
off my car.

Ain't that sweet?

Stern gave her a clock.

-Knock off.
-Everybody's got one.

[SCREAMS]

[LAUGHING]

We just wanted to show you
how much we appreciate
what you'd done for Mickey.

That's all, Karen.

[EXCLAIMS]

[GROANS]

[GROANING CONTINUES]

[LAUGHS]

[GASPS]

Wee! [LAUGHS]

[SINGS CHILDISHLY]

Bye-bye, Karen.

Come back tomorrow
if you want a little more.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[ROCKABILLY MUSIC PLAYING
ON RADIO]

♪ They're really rock
in Boston

♪ And Pittsburgh, PA

♪ Deep in the heart of Texas

♪ And 'round the Frisco Bay

♪ All over St. Louis

♪ Down in New Orleans

♪ All the cats
wanna dance with

♪ Sweet Little Sixteen

♪ Sweet Little Sixteen

♪ She's just gotta have

♪ About a half a million

♪ Framed autographs

♪ Her wallet's filled
with pictures

♪ She'll gets 'em one by one

♪ She gets so excited

♪ Watch her look at her run

♪ Oh, mommy, mommy

♪ Please may I go

[TIRES SQUEALING]

♪ It's such a sight to see

♪ Somebody steal the show

♪ Oh, daddy, daddy

♪ I beg of you

♪ Whisper to mommy

♪ It's all right with you

♪ 'Cause they'll be rocking
on bandstand

♪ In Philadelphia, PA

♪ Deep in the heart of Texas

♪ And 'round Frisco Bay

♪ All over St. Louis

♪ And down in New Orleans

♪ All the cats going dancing

♪ Sweet Little Sixteen

♪ 'Cause they'll be rocking
on bandstand

♪ In Philadelphia, PA

♪ Deep in the heart of Texas

♪ And 'round Frisco Bay

♪ All over St. Louis

♪ And down in New Orleans...

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[TELEVISION CHATTER]

Hey.

Are you in trouble?

No, ma, I'm not in trouble.

Do I have to be in trouble
every time I come to see you?

That's a pretty good looking
car you got there.

You sure scratched it up
quick.

Ma, I just came here
to give you some money.

What do I need with money?

I got my cigarettes.
I got my TV.
What more do I need?

Well, maybe you'd like
to buy something new,
like a new dress, maybe.

[LAUGHS]

I've been living in this one
for so long I wouldn't know
how to button up a new one.

How'd you get your face
all messed up?

On the track.
It's a rough game.

I figured you'd find
a rough game.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

Karen?

Karen!

Hey, you don't remember me?

Dwayne.

Duane Bealer.

Duane!

-How are you?
-I'm fine.

Yeah, I'd seen you on TV.

Well, how'd you like me?

-You're great.
-Well, what are you doing now?

Selling auto parts.

Tell me everything.
Where are you living?

Right down the road.
About a half a mile.

Hey, I got married.

You're kidding. To who?

To Elise. Remember Elise?

Elise...

Yeah.

Yeah, I've been married,
two, three years, now.

That's fantastic. Hey!

Play much anymore?

No, I...

Uh, hey, you kids wanna
come inside the house and have
a drink, or something?

No, I gotta get
headed home, ma.

Gotta practice, you know?

Karen.

Why don't you stay,
and I can call up Elise
and maybe she can come over...

Another time later, okay?

But tell her I said hi.
Goodbye, mom.

Goodbye, Duane.

KAREN'S MOTHER:
Cranky. Always was.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[CROWD CHEERING DISTANTLY]

Thanks.

Goldie! What are you
doing here?

After all the money
I spent on your education,

I find you in these
lousy locker rooms.

And with... With this.

Go find Marshall
and count the house, will ya?

[STERN SIGHS]

And you? You, Miss America,
what are you waiting for?
The second half?

What do you want me to do?
To apologize for being late?

Okay. I'm sorry.

But do you think that
the next time you come barging
in here you could knock first?

When you pay the rent,
you don't have to knock.

Yeah, well, you don't pay
the rent on me.

And the next time you'd
like to see me in my panties,

why don't you call first
before you barge in?

'Cause I wouldn't waste
the dime, that's why.

You wouldn't know
how to spend it.

I know that all I am to you
is someone to put up on those
stupid posters of yours.

But I want you
to know something.

My only goal in life
is not to get up
and sell tickets for you.

You stop selling tickets,
you're dead.

And what are you gonna do
about all those empty seats
up there?

For your information,
young lady,

those seats have been filled
for 35 years.

Yeah, because they come to see
the likes of me.

Not your little Beverly
or any of the other broads.
They come to see a star!

They come to see
who they come to see.

And here. Cover yourself up.
You're gonna catch cold.

Look, Miss Terrific,

you go up there and start
skating. And get this
through your head.

You're not skating
to please you.

You're not skating to please
them up there.

You're skating to please me!

Just who the hell
do you think you are?

I'm the guy that signs
your checks.

You get up there and do
what you're told for a change.

Now what are you gonna do?

Fire your only star?

You're damn right.

And I'm gonna keep
my eye on you.

Maybe if I lifted my shirt
you could see better.

I'm gonna keep my eye on you
so close

you're gonna feel my eyelashes
on that shirt of yours.

All right, well then
you just watch.

You just come out here
and you watch,

because I'm gonna show you
something you've never
seen before.

[DOOR SLAMMING]

God, who talked me into her?

HARRY: The Avengers'
Karen Walker
entering the game late,

trying desperately
to catch up with
the huge number of points

already racked up by her
talented and fast teammate,
Beverly Brayton.

Karen Walker skating
like a woman possessed.

JACK: She looks a little tense
if you ask me, Harry,

the first time Karen Walker
looks nervous.

HARRY: Yes, she does look
a little nervous, but it
may be pre-game tension.

Pass the star
and stay out of my way.

What's the matter?
Can't you take
the competition?

I thought you only did
what Stern told you to do.

JACK: Here's the view
from our new
eye-in-the-sky camera,

showing you the south turn
of the bank track
in its entirety,

a track that has seen many
skating stars come and go
on the silver wheels of bay.

Incidentally, the lens
of our new camera
is biochemically treat

to repel bugs on contact,

just the way Karen's repels
rocked with that blow.

58 to 55, Karen picks up
a point, and Horace McKay
says, "You'll pay for that."

What a hothead.

What does it look like
to you, Harry?

HARRY: Well, from here it
looks like everyone is in a
mad scramble for points, Jack.

You know that all-important
President's Cup is coming up
next month

and they're all in a race
for points to qualify.

You know, Jack,
everyone here is upset
and quite a bit tensed up

from that courageous letter
from poor Mickey Martinez,

still in the hospital,
not recovering as fast
as she should,

but she wrote to her teammate,
Beverly Brayton, saying,

"Beverly, look out
for my interests.

"Look out for my old
number four.

"Keep it polished and bright
because I'm coming back."

She said this, Jack.
"I'm coming back
as an Avenger."

JACK: Incredible.

Look at this. Sal is giving
Angie a $25 fine for touching.

HARRY: Amazing. Sal is usually
such an even-tempered fellow
to do a thing like that.

But tempers are running
high tonight.

The tension is just terrific.

I see number four...

JACK: Look at that.
Karen catches a snow plow
from a Demon.

She's out of control, heading
toward the Avenger bench.

HARRY: Look at that.
She just knocked the entire
bench over,

and all her teammates.

Stupid bitch.

JACK: Jennifer attacks
her own teammate,
lying down helpless.

She must feel that Karen
hit the bench deliberately
and wants to pay her back.

Karen skates out onto
the track, and here comes
Beverly Brayton

to give her own teammate
a shot.

And down she goes.

HARRY: Her own teammate, Jack.

JACK: Angie struggles in vain
to keep these two girls apart,

like two mad dogs
off the leash.

Now Beverly skates back
to help her fallen rival.
But she doesn't.

What the hell was that for?

I heard you was taking
Mickey's place
on the Demons.

You haven't got my job yet.
Bitch.

HARRY: You know, Jack,
in an exclusive interview
tonight before the show,

Beverly Brayton told me
that she's after
Karen Walker's crown

as skating star
of the L.A. Avengers.

She wants to wear it on that
beautiful head of hers

and take it away
from Karen Walker

and there's a good chance
she will because Beverly's got
talent and nerve.

JACK: Jennifer has
an evil look in her eyes.

She's looking for Karen.
I don't think this is
over yet.

She's peeved at what Karen did
to her teammate.

Oh! She delivers a big hit.

Hey, Karen, do you
want to come out?

No. Forget it.

Karen's up and at it again
in spite of her own
Avengers' hostility.

Fourteen years in this
business, she's the looniest
goddamn broad I ever saw.

Fans are yelling for more
with tears of anger
in their eyes.

They can't get enough!

Horace is up to his
usual antics.

He's the only man I know
who enjoys the suffering
of others.

There's Cannonball Fisher,
sidelined on the bench

with a severe case
of roller whiplash.

The jam continues,
hot and heavy.

Demons here, Demons there,
Demons everywhere.

And it looks like the Demons
are trying everything.

The drive Karen right into
the Demons' penalty box.

Bingo, down she goes!

Horace says, "I don't feel
like sitting down any more,
Marvin,

"Take my chair.
Be my guest."

And pound away he does,
right on the penalty box.

Karen Walker is under there.
She must be near hysterics.

HARRY: How can that girl
take it from that brute?

That man is the worst thing
on this track.

She's too skinny.
Can't take the pounding.

Get her!

JACK: Well, there's no rest
for her, tonight, Harry.

We thought help
was on the way.
Where are the Avengers?

Why aren't they helping Karen,
their own teammate?

HARRY: Jack, I've seen night
when the Avengers jumped on
the chance to pound a Demon,

but tonight they're staying
away in droves, as if they
wanted to.

JACK: And the beat goes on!
They're beating a tattoo
on Karen Walker's head!

Hey, you okay?

Yeah, thanks.

HARRY: Good for you,
Nick Deminas.

Nick helps his teammate
when nobody else would,
lovely Karen Walker.

JACK: It looks like
there's no rest
for Karen Walker tonight.

HARRY: Right. Jack.
There's no safe harbor
for her in this storm.

Beverly comes up to take
the jam, she says,

"I'll go out and get us
some points, Karen."

Karen...
What was that?
What was that?

HARRY: Did you see
what I just saw?

How can you fire a girl
who can skate like that?

If we keep her on,
the insurance payments will
break us, that's why.

Well, keep her for the Demons.

Jesus Christ, Stern,
look at her skate!

She's terrific. That girl just
ended her career better than
anybody I ever saw.

HARRY: Jack,
this is incredible.

Karen Walker just threw down
the jammers helmet,

which means she can't legally
score any points, whatsoever,

and took off on her own.

JACK: After delivering
a crippling blow to Beverly.

HARRY: She knocked down
Beverly and evidently
hurt her.

Doc's trying to get her off,
but what is Karen up to?

No one's able
to understand this.

Look at that. She just took
out Masked Marvin
with one blow,

knocked him right over
the penalty box,

knocked over the entire bench
with the Demons on it.

I don't know what that girl's
up to, but she is mad,
M-A-D with capital letters,

and those fans don't know
what to make of it.

-[KAREN LAUGHING]
-Slowed this entire game...

JACK: Doc Morgan?
She's after the doctor, now?

She's turning over his bench!

HARRY: Well, maybe she needs
glasses and doesn't know...

JACK: No, now she's
after Angie. I've never seen
anything like this.

Karen's out of control!

HARRY: Well, you know,
Jack, things really look
out of hand here, now.

It's gonna take at least
10 or 15 minutes just
to get order restored.

Everyone seems to be caught up
in the frenzy of the evening,

hitting and knock and biting.
They're down. They're out.

It's an exciting game,
I'll tell you that.

[CROWD CHEERING]

JACK: Meanwhile,
Karen Walker says,
"Thank you but no thank you."

Off she goes.
Skates right off the track,
heading out the door.

She can't play by the rules.
She can't take orders.

Marshall, who needs that kind
of aggravation?

But how could you let her go?

JACK: Yes, Harry,
Karen Walker must be
off the track herself

to do a thing like that.

It's a violation of every
rule known in the game.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

...the first time this has
ever happened,

and I wager it's the last time
it's gonna happen
with that girl.

[CROWD YELLING]

A serious mistake.
She shouldn't have done it
but she did it.

HARRY: Jack, this is
incredible. In my 14 years
commenting on these games,

I've never seen a crowd
dissolve in a furious,
throbbing

fuselage of fisticuffs
like what's happening
tonight in this arena.

They're all hot and heavy,
beating, hammering,
thrashing, twisting,

knocking down anything
and everything that moves.

JACK: It's incredible.
The entire crowd has dissolved
to beating and slamming.

This is tremendous.

I've never seen anything
like it before. The game's
dissolving in mayhem!

HARRY: Well, our own Angie
Striker and Horace McKay are
fighting it out, out there.

Two falls out of three
and it's hard to say
who'll win,

but if Angie falls
on Horace...

It's an exciting evening.
Look at them go!
Look at them go!

That whip is taking
its toll on Horace McKay,

and are those fans happy!

JACK: Look at that across
there! Look what's happening
in the bleachers!

That lady with the red purse
is beating that man
in the head...

This entire crowd wants blood.

The entire crowd is raging
in mayhem, screaming,
knocking, clawing...

[KAREN YELLING AND LAUGHING]

We're gonna have a lot
of injuries here tonight!

HARRY: Squad cars have pulled
up to the rear doors and are
trying to restore order!

[LAUGHING]

You know, Jack,

this is the first time I've
ever seen the audience
participate in a game,

and the game participate
on the audience.

[HONKING]

You're just gonna let her
go out on the street and skate
until she gets killed, huh?

Believe me, she hasn't got
sense enough to get killed.

JACK: Karen Walker,
but skating off the track
in the middle of the game...

[ENGINE REVVING]
[TIRES SQUEALING]

[KAREN EXCLAIMS]

She is down, down,
down and out.

Off the track, off the team,
out of the game.

Automatically, Beverly Brayton
becomes the number one girl.

There can be no appeals
to the commission on either
one of these rulings.

-It's automatic.
-[POLICE SIREN APPROACHING]

HARRY: That's right, Jack,
this is the most exciting game
I've seen in a long time,

and it opens up a new era
in roller competition.

Now, don't forget,
all you fans at home,

you can take part in these
games just like you saw
on your screens tonight,

by simply calling
Capital-21533 for information
and reservations.

Don't forget.
That's Capital-21533.

Get your reservations early
because seating is limited
to those first callers.

First come first serve.

[SIREN BLARING]

♪ And they call her the

♪ Unholy roller

♪ But if you get to know her

♪ Maybe you'll find
The lady that's hiding inside

♪ Inside

♪ And they call her the

♪ Unholy roller

♪ But if you get to know her

♪ Maybe you'll find
The lady that's hiding inside

♪ Everybody says

♪ Stay away from Karen

♪ That smile that
she's wearin'

♪ Will only deceive you
She'll love you and leave you
to cry

♪ Everybody says

♪ Stay away from Karen

♪ That smile she's wearin'

♪ Will only deceive you
She'll love you and leave you
to cry

♪ And they call her the

♪ Unholy roller

♪ But if you get to know her

♪ Maybe you'll find
The lady that's hiding inside

♪ Inside

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