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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,230 ( WEEPING ) 2 00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:32,300 [NORMAN] It's okay. Look how calm-- 3 00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:38,272 We love you so much. 4 00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:43,577 ( WEEPING CONTINUES ) 5 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:52,520 Oh, she's gone. She's gone. 6 00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:55,623 We love you, baby. 7 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:59,593 We love you so much. 8 00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:04,298 I love you. I love you. 9 00:01:04,332 --> 00:01:06,066 I love-- 10 00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:27,688 ( PHONE RINGING ) 11 00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:34,328 JOANNE (OVER SPEAKER) Hello, you've reached the Mulcahey... 12 00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:36,797 residence. We aren't able to get to the phone right now... 13 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:39,700 but leave a message and we'll call you back. 14 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,869 CATHY (OVER SPEAKER) Hi, Joanne. It's Cathy Colombo. 15 00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:43,537 From Bemidji State? 16 00:01:43,571 --> 00:01:46,707 I heard from Kay and Rick you were sick. 17 00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:49,777 I'm so sorry, I didn't know that, honey. 18 00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:53,647 I'd love to hear how you're doing... 19 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,583 whenever you're up for it, okay? 20 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,619 And, uh-- hold on one sec, Joanne. 21 00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:01,155 Um, yes. I'd like two bean and cheese burritos, please? 22 00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:02,923 And a small Pepsi. 23 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,792 We don't serve Pepsi, ma'am we only have Coke. 24 00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,760 No, no, I always-- Only Coke, ma'am. 25 00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,562 CATHY( OVER SPEAKER) Oh, shit! Sorry. 26 00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:12,233 I thought it was Taco Bell. Am I on Eucalyptis? 27 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,634 DEL TACO EMPLOYEE (V.O.) This is Del Taco. 28 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,303 I'm all turned around. We only have Coke. 29 00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:16,937 Okay, no, no, no, yeah, I hear you. 30 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,772 Yeah, okay, Coke's fine, then, thank you. 31 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,441 DEL TACO EMPLOYEE (OVER SPEAKER) Okay, that all? 32 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,277 Yeah, thank you. $3.11 at the first window. 33 00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:25,746 CATHY (OVER SPEAKER) I am so sorry about that, Joanne. 34 00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:28,949 Uh, where was I? Oh, right, how sick you are-- 35 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:32,186 ( MUSIC PLAYING ) 36 00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:38,759 * Rockin' around the Christmas tree * 37 00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:42,430 * At the Christmas party hop 38 00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:45,499 * Mistletoe hung where you can see * 39 00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:46,534 Fuck. 40 00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:04,452 There's our New York City boy! 41 00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:05,886 That's right. Hi, grandma. 42 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,755 They gotcha workin' this party? 43 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:10,691 It's good to work. Good for ya! 44 00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,961 You know, I'm glad that you're movin' home for a bit. 45 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:18,366 Your mom's gonna need a lotta help. She does not deserve this. 46 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,568 You know, Rebeccah and Alex helped set up, too! 47 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,770 We did it all... you were "writing." 48 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,705 Are you drinking? You're like 15-years-old. 49 00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,640 I'm 17. Alex, didn't help at all. 50 00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:28,609 You were gone picking up friends for like five hours. 51 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,278 Please tell me, not Paige. 52 00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:32,946 I haven't talked to Paige since, like, middle school. 53 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,749 Oh, hey there, is this where I can get some chips? 54 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,751 Oh! 55 00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:42,456 Oh, hi, my name's Fletcher, just live here in the neighborhood. 56 00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:43,657 Hi, Fletcher. Hoping to get some chips. 57 00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:48,696 ( LAUGHING ) 58 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,331 Oh, my god. That's funny. 59 00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:52,266 Isn't that great? 99 cents at the gas station. 60 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:53,567 99 cents. Isn't that something? 61 00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:56,537 David! David, what do you hear about your show? 62 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,339 Uh, it didn't get picked up... 63 00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:01,442 so they don't pick it up, you know, it's over. 64 00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:04,445 Yeah, but ya never know, maybe they'll change their minds! 65 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,580 That's not really how it works. 66 00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:09,016 Ya know, we turned on SNL the other week... 67 00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,618 lookin' for ya on there! 68 00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:13,554 Uh, why? I don't work there. 69 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:17,325 Well, it's only a matter of time before we see ya on there! 70 00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:20,528 Well, I'm a writer, so I'd never actually be like, on the show-- 71 00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:23,464 Sure you're gonna get a lot of material tonight. 72 00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:25,333 Won't he, Grandpa? 73 00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:27,635 I'll give you some material. Whaddya need? 74 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:28,936 [AUNT LYNNE] David! 75 00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,638 You just need these. This is a sketch. 76 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,573 [AUNT LYNNE] David? Give these to Lorne Michaels. 77 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,375 Okay, I gotta show you this. 78 00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:37,445 Remember that wand that I bought on the internet? 79 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:38,746 The one that can heal people? 80 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,682 Yes, and can you believe at only $400? 81 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:42,816 I mean, that's crazy. 82 00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:44,452 Everyone at your church bought one? 83 00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:46,787 Yeah, well, my pastor sells them on his website. 84 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:50,958 And, uh, anyway, I looked it up, and it doesn't cure cancer. 85 00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,726 Well-- 86 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,962 Yeah, so it just works on, if you like, throw your back out... 87 00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,830 or something, but boy, is it amazing. 88 00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:59,066 Thanks for researching that, that's good to know. 89 00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:02,302 How you doin', Sacramento? Here it comes-- 90 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:07,941 We were gonna dedicate this first song to Joanne... 91 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,711 but she's still upstairs gettin' ready apparently. 92 00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:13,347 So get your butt down here, Joanne! 93 00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:16,083 Jo-anny! Come on down! Hey, Joanne! 94 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:20,754 Well, we got our New York City boy in the house tonight. 95 00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:23,123 You're not too good for us now, are you? 96 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,926 No. Okay. 97 00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:28,796 We're gonna start you off with a lil' appetizer. 98 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:40,073 * I got a brand new used car the other day * 99 00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:44,077 * Had a smile on my face as I drove it away * 100 00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:47,748 * 'Cause I've been driving that same four-door * 101 00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,917 * Since I was 16 102 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,562 I'm almost ready, I'm so sorry! 103 00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:02,930 No, no rush. 104 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:06,133 Taking me forever. Sit down for one minute. 105 00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:11,138 How's it going down there? 106 00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,873 Patti brought her wand. 107 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:17,010 She did? Of course, she did! Hm... 108 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,812 She says it doesn't work on cancer, though. 109 00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:19,913 Darn! 110 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,485 Don't bite. 111 00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,787 Isn't this dress pretty? 112 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:32,526 It is, I feel like it's too subtle... maybe? 113 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:33,661 Yeah, you think so? 114 00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,629 Something more, maybe? 115 00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:36,964 Do you know that I got this dress for this '70s party... 116 00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:38,466 that your dad dragged me to. 117 00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:39,433 Did I ever tell you about that party? 118 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,068 No. 119 00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,870 Well, it was for people at his school, so you get the idea. 120 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:43,904 It's like, you know, you think he's bad... 121 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:45,839 these people are the worst. 122 00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,841 So your dad makes this big deal, like we have to get our 70's co- 123 00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,877 Like he was very excited about this party. 124 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,779 So I get this dress, which is beautiful. 125 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,747 We go to the party, we walk in... 126 00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:56,584 and literally no one is dressed up in 70's costumes... 127 00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:58,986 except for me and your father, can you imagine? 128 00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,655 Oh, my god. It was so embarrassing. 129 00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:02,956 Why was I not there? No one, David! 130 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,992 God as my witness. I don't know. 131 00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,561 These people-- they had like one little-- 132 00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:10,798 One little banner that said "Groovy", and then they were-- 133 00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,165 They didn't even play 70's music... 134 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:14,034 they were playing like Phil Collins music. 135 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:16,737 Ugh. I'm so sorry, that sucks! 136 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,772 I know, but it's so funny in retrospect. 137 00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:20,040 So has everyone already left yet? 138 00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:23,811 Actually you missed the whole year. 139 00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:27,247 It's probably not a terrible idea. 140 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,717 Should we go down? And join? 141 00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:35,556 You don't have to move back, you know that, right? 142 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:36,657 I know. 143 00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:39,126 I just want to tell you. I know. 144 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:42,162 Don't bite, David, stop, come on. 145 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:45,566 * All the love in our happy home * 146 00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:49,169 * Is all the love I've ever known * 147 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:56,744 * When I was a little girl back when my life first began * 148 00:07:56,777 --> 00:08:02,082 * Faith in all those happy memories * 149 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:05,152 * Back when I was so young 150 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:08,889 * I'll be fine walkin through the woods * 151 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:12,660 * Watchin the seasons come and go * 152 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,665 ( CALL RINGING ) 153 00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:19,600 PAUL (OVER PHONE) Hey, this is Paul. 154 00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:23,303 I'm not here right now, so leave a message after the beep. 155 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:26,974 Hey, it's me. 156 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:32,212 Just calling to say that I landed. 157 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:35,115 And um... 158 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:39,887 which I guess I don't need to do that... any more. 159 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,723 Anyway. Yeah, Mom's fine. 160 00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:47,227 Or... you know, fake fine, um... 161 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:50,931 We're just all doing New Year's stuff. 162 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,801 Sorta feels like this little play that we're all putting on. 163 00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,704 Boo! Agh! Fuck! 164 00:08:56,737 --> 00:09:02,876 * I remember the church It stands silent now * 165 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:12,820 * Across the valley beyond the clouds * 166 00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:15,756 * We're hand in hand 167 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:25,866 Uh, hey, you holding up? 168 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,268 Yeah. 169 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,340 You want company? 170 00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,109 No, thank you. 171 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,784 Got any New Year's resolutions? 172 00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:50,624 I dunno. 173 00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:54,828 All right, I love you, bud. 174 00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:02,836 10... 9... 8... 7... 175 00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:06,874 6... 5... 4... 3... 176 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:09,209 2...1... 177 00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:12,212 ( VOMITING ) 178 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:13,613 ( GROANING ) 179 00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:20,620 ( COUGHING ) 180 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,391 Okay. 181 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:30,864 Are you okay? 182 00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:32,399 I'm so sorry, I missed a little. 183 00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:34,768 That's okay. Yeah, I'm okay, I'm okay. 184 00:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,940 Thank you, thank you, honey. 185 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,750 ( LOUD SNORING ) 186 00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:04,932 ( SNORING CONTINUES ) 187 00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:31,191 So, how's Paul doing? 188 00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:34,494 This is a long time for you to be away from him. 189 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:39,332 He understands. He's fine. Oh, good. 190 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,734 Well, listen, I really wanna pay for your rent... 191 00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:42,402 for the next few months... 192 00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:45,405 just so it's one less thing for you guys to worry about. 193 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,007 Dad's not gonna like that. 194 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,743 Well, I don't care if he likes it. 195 00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:51,244 Well, thank you. 196 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,246 Of course. 197 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,483 Have you used that gym membership that he got you? 198 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:58,318 Might be nice for you to have somewhere to go... 199 00:11:58,351 --> 00:11:59,386 if you want to get outta the house at night. 200 00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:01,354 I will, yeah. 201 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,090 Okay, good. 202 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,524 Work on my fitness. 203 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,794 Yeah... can you see it? 204 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:10,430 Hm? Can you see it? 205 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:13,266 No, looks normal. 206 00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:16,937 Ah, hooray. 207 00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:20,874 * Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet * 208 00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:23,276 * Did you finally get the chance to dance * 209 00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:25,245 * Along the light of day 210 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,241 Hey! David? 211 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,475 David? Mulcahey? 212 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:58,078 Oh... hey! Hey! I thought that was you. 213 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,447 Hey, how's it goin? Good, good. 214 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:01,982 Just baggin... 215 00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:03,583 Oh... wow. Yeah. 216 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,853 That's cool. Yeah, it's good to see you! 217 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:08,421 Yeah, I saw on Facebook, you're a writer now, right? 218 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,991 Yeah. Cool, cool, me, too. 219 00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:12,125 Oh, yeah? Yeah. 220 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:15,863 Like novels and sci-fi fantasy shit. 221 00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,898 Oh, okay. Yeah, it's fun. 222 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:18,966 Well, cool. 223 00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:20,868 Yeah, what are you writing? 224 00:13:20,901 --> 00:13:24,104 Uh, I was working on this pilot for TV for like a year. 225 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,405 Okay. 226 00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:31,011 But...then it didn't get picked up, so... 227 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:34,181 now I'm just writing for "Saturday Night Live". 228 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:36,483 Oh, fuck, what? Are you-- 229 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,351 Oh, my god... shit. Yeah. 230 00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:40,087 I should probably-- I should probably get going. 231 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,255 Yeah, yeah, hey, you know, um-- 232 00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,925 I've been meaning to message you. 233 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:48,195 I uh, I heard about your family situation. Uh... 234 00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:49,496 Yeah. Yeah. 235 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,331 How are your sisters doing? 236 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:55,969 I mean, everyone's sad, but you know-- 237 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:59,339 Really? I didn't think Rebeccah would care... 238 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,608 and your little sister. 239 00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,243 Wait, what are you talking about? 240 00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,946 You know, you-- Michelle Lima said that you came out? 241 00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:09,382 And your family kind of took it poorly or something like that? 242 00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:15,188 Yeah, that was like nine years ago or something. 243 00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:16,890 I mean, my dad still won't talk about it... 244 00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:19,426 but he's a fucking asshole, so-- 245 00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:22,229 Wait, what were you talking about? 246 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:27,935 Oh, uh, now my mom has cancer. 247 00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:32,372 But-- 248 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,407 You should rent her a DVD. 249 00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:35,642 No, no, that's okay. 250 00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,677 No, have you seen these things? 251 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,980 They're like Netflix, but even better, they're awesome. 252 00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,481 I have. Come on. 253 00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,917 I got an employee discount. Man, it's not a big deal. 254 00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:45,618 I can get you a free rental. 255 00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:47,487 You really don't have to do that. They're only a dollar. I-- 256 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,489 No, no, come on, hey, please, let me get you something. 257 00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:52,392 Do you know if there's any non-new releases... 258 00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:53,693 that she'd want to see? 259 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,663 Ooh, ooh, okay, watch your hair. 260 00:14:56,696 --> 00:15:01,001 Good girl, get it out, get it out. 261 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,370 Just breathe, mom. 262 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,974 Here we go. You're doing all right, baby. 263 00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,711 Thank you, sweetie. 264 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,314 You okay, Mom? David, yeah, I'm okay. 265 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:18,385 How was your day? Get any writing done? 266 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,153 Um, a lot, actually. 267 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:23,290 Hey, you know that gym has boxing classes. 268 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,225 I thought that might be fun! 269 00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,394 Can someone please put Dono outside? 270 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,496 I can't stand to see him licking his penis. 271 00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:32,032 Dono, no! Stop it! Dono, no, stop! 272 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:33,500 Dono, no! Dono, out! 273 00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:34,634 Stop. No! 274 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:37,637 ( SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ) 275 00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:51,584 GABE (OVER PHONE) David, hi, it's Gabe. 276 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,620 I am in town and want you to know that we are going... 277 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,322 to the gayest bar in Sacramento tonight. 278 00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:57,124 You, of course, have no choice. 279 00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,526 Please pick me up promptly, thank you, goodbye. 280 00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,394 ( DOORBELL RINGS ) 281 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:03,997 Oh, hey. 282 00:16:04,031 --> 00:16:07,767 Oh, uh, hi. I'm looking for Gabe Stewart? 283 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,603 Oh, he's in the shower, yeah. David, right? 284 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,405 What, you're Justin? The only and only! 285 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:15,042 Except for Timberlake and Bieber, but whatever. 286 00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:17,377 You were a baby like a second ago! 287 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:20,147 You can come in and wait in my room if you want. 288 00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:24,217 Just know that I know, it needs of a full redec. 289 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:26,286 Okay. Who am I kidding? 290 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,288 This whole house needs a full redec, honestly. 291 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:29,522 Yeah, I won't judge it. 292 00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:32,325 This is my bedroom. 293 00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:34,294 Wow! This is really nice. 294 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,063 Do you like it? I do. 295 00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:39,399 So for my birthday, I wanna tear down this whole entire wall... 296 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,134 and put up solid Carrera. 297 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:43,070 Do you know Carrera? 298 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,504 I think-- is she like a singer? 299 00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,639 No, it's a marble, it's so tasteful. 300 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,375 I actually think you'll really like it. 301 00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:50,210 See this laptop case? Uh-huh. 302 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:51,478 It's Carrera. 303 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,680 Oh, wow, that's really nice. Yeah. 304 00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,748 It's fake, but it'll do. 305 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,284 My tastes are a little bit outside my father's... 306 00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,786 financial means, and I'm sensitive to that. 307 00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:02,489 And he works so hard, he's a single parent... 308 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,057 so I try to cut corners where I can. 309 00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:05,758 That's really nice of you. 310 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,694 I really like your shirt, by the way. 311 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,496 Oh, well, thank you... 312 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:12,265 I was actually very nervous about it since meeting you. 313 00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:14,301 It's so cute, you're really cute. 314 00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:18,171 David. Hi! Gabe. 315 00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:19,806 How are you? 316 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:22,442 I'm good. A very young boy just told me I looked cute. 317 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:25,112 Yes, he did, I'm not surprised. 318 00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:27,180 Um, Justin, we're gonna go, be good. 319 00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:29,182 Uh, of course, I'll be good, please, please. 320 00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:30,517 It was so nice to meet you. 321 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,119 It was so nice to meet you. 322 00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:34,521 Come on, hug me. Let's do this. 323 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,356 Thank you. 324 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,790 Ah, Justin, I'm so sorry, you can't come with us. 325 00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,592 Oh, no, it's fine, I have work to do. 326 00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:42,162 Honestly, just please go off, have fun, do your thing. 327 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:43,830 We will. And, Justin, please don't burn the house down... 328 00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:45,432 with your candles while I'm gone. 329 00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:47,600 Oh, my god, Gabe, please stop! 330 00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:49,436 I'm sorry, I'm joking. I'm joking. 331 00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:52,172 He's furious, because he ran out of candles this afternoon. 332 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:55,142 Ho-ly shit. 333 00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:58,745 I can't believe your dad has to raise that kid all by himself. 334 00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,513 Okay, remember junior year... 335 00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:03,716 how my mom got sick like five minutes after they adopted him? 336 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,886 ( ENGINE STARTING ) 337 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:09,289 Okay wait, so where are we going? 338 00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:10,723 I didn't even know Sacramento had gay bars. 339 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,859 Oh, you'll see, it's... pure heaven. 340 00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:16,529 ( DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ) 341 00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:21,601 This is hand's down the worst building I've ever been in. 342 00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:24,271 Okay, you say that now, but if you meet your husband here, 343 00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:25,872 I'm gonna make the speech at your wedding. 344 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:32,245 Uh, let me toast now, um, to being back home. 345 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,881 Mm, to being in Sacramento. 346 00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:37,584 Don't be rude, David. Okay, this is your home. 347 00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,886 Your gorgeous, gorgeous home. 348 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:42,555 Okay, you can say that, because you're here for the weekend. 349 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:43,856 I have been here two months. 350 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:45,492 No, it's true, it's not fair. 351 00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:46,826 I don't have to deal with your fucking dad. 352 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,561 I mean, he's been good with my mom. 353 00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:51,264 We just don't talk about that. 354 00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:53,433 That? So you mean, how he cut you off and made you pay... 355 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,501 for school when you came out to him? 356 00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:56,403 Yes, that! 357 00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:57,937 Right, how he's never seen Paul. How he's never met Paul once. 358 00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,772 That! Right, right, right, that, that. 359 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,408 Yes, that. What is this, 2008? 360 00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:02,942 Jesus. I feel like I'm in Brokeback Mountain. 361 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,177 I know. 362 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,880 Hi. 363 00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:09,682 Hi. 364 00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:13,320 Do you teach, or...? 365 00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,322 You don't know? You don't know? 366 00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:18,791 Okay... um, how are you and Paul? Is it weird now? 367 00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,560 It was mutual. Yeah. 368 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:21,928 So mutually... weird. Yeah. 369 00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:23,463 I guess. 370 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:24,931 How long were you all together, like four years? 371 00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:26,399 Five. Oh, god! 372 00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:27,467 Oh, god. ( SNEEZES ) 373 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:28,468 What the fuck? Hi. 374 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:29,436 Hi. 375 00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:30,970 ( DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ) 376 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,672 You should do Grindr while you're here. 377 00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:34,507 I would never do Grindr... 378 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,243 especially in Sacramento. 379 00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:37,544 That's disgusting. What? 380 00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:39,846 You should try OKCupid, come on! 381 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:43,216 It's more gentle, it's like for small children. 382 00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:44,884 No. Why? What? 383 00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,253 What's wrong with OKCupid? 384 00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:47,820 I do it every time I'm home. 385 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:50,390 I hooked up with that guy from Sheldon... 386 00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,325 who was a year younger than us, Nate Chapin? 387 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:53,726 Nate Chapin? Mm-hm. 388 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,761 How was that? 389 00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:56,629 He had the grossest penis... 390 00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:57,897 but he lived right next to Jack In The Box... 391 00:19:57,930 --> 00:20:01,468 so two birds, one dick. 392 00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:04,704 Ugh! I'm gonna come so hard! Ew. Oh my god, oh my god! 393 00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,539 I'm gonna come all over the place. 394 00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:11,444 That is definitely the guy from the burger place! 395 00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:12,579 Yes, I told you. 396 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,547 How did you recognize him? 397 00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:17,550 Because look at that dumb-ass tattoo on his arm. 398 00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:18,918 I mean, who else has that tattoo. No one has that tattoo. 399 00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:20,820 Fuck, yeah. Oh, he's gonna do it. 400 00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,755 He's gonna do it. 401 00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,524 Nothing will be spared in here. He's close, he's close! 402 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,492 I'm gonna come all over the whole room. 403 00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:28,461 He came! He did it! 404 00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:30,663 Yes! He did it! He came on the chair! 405 00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:32,499 Hey, thank you. 406 00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:35,502 And she didn't wanna slowly lose her hair, so she shaved it. 407 00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:41,007 Last week... and we did this big hair-cutting ceremony... 408 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,909 and she was really joke-y and funny... 409 00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:45,445 and then when it was over, she started crying. 410 00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:46,813 My mom did the same thing. 411 00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,815 The chemo's not even working. 412 00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:53,653 And it's like now I'll have no mom, and basically no dad... 413 00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:56,689 and no boyfriend, and no job-- 414 00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:59,726 No, no, no, David, you came here to be with her. 415 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,528 Just focus on that. 416 00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:03,996 That's all, and let everything else fall into place, okay? 417 00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:07,300 There's no one to fucking talk to here, except for you... 418 00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:08,768 and you're never here. 419 00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:10,937 So I just said, and I think about morbid shit... 420 00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:13,740 like, where will I be when she dies? 421 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:14,974 How are your sisters? 422 00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:16,943 Will it be summer or winter? 423 00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:22,014 Or like, will September 27th just always suck... 424 00:21:22,048 --> 00:21:23,483 for the rest of my life? 425 00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,852 I don't know. 426 00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:27,820 This all just feels like... 427 00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:31,023 something that happens to other people. 428 00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:34,727 Yeah, well, now you're other people to other people. 429 00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:47,440 * Alleluia 430 00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:52,579 * Sons of men and angels say 431 00:21:52,612 --> 00:21:57,450 * Alleluia 432 00:21:57,484 --> 00:22:01,888 * Raise your joys and triumphs high * 433 00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:06,959 * Alleluia 434 00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:11,598 * Sing ye heav'ns and earth reply * 435 00:22:11,631 --> 00:22:16,836 * Alleluia 436 00:22:18,805 --> 00:22:23,042 All right, we have two burgers, two fries, and two Cokes. 437 00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:25,478 It'll be about five minutes, we'll bring it right out to you. 438 00:22:27,914 --> 00:22:30,683 Hi. What can I get you? 439 00:22:30,717 --> 00:22:32,952 I like your tattoo. 440 00:22:32,985 --> 00:22:36,623 Oh, eh, it's like how we're all created, you know? 441 00:22:36,656 --> 00:22:38,858 Yeah. Yeah. 442 00:22:38,891 --> 00:22:40,693 What can I get you? 443 00:22:40,727 --> 00:22:44,731 Um, yeah, I'll just do three medium chocolate shakes... 444 00:22:44,764 --> 00:22:46,699 with no whip cream... please? 445 00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:48,668 What size? 446 00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:50,437 Medium. 447 00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:52,605 And would you like whip cream on that? 448 00:22:52,639 --> 00:22:55,174 No, no whip. 449 00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:56,743 And what flavor? 450 00:22:56,776 --> 00:22:58,478 Chocolate. 451 00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:00,012 Chocolate, great. 452 00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:04,884 Three medium no whip chocolate shakes. What size? 453 00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:08,020 Okie-doke... 454 00:23:08,054 --> 00:23:11,023 I still feel like Alex and Becca should be here if they want to. 455 00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:13,760 No, I don't want them to hear this. 456 00:23:13,793 --> 00:23:16,062 But they might want to. No. 457 00:23:16,095 --> 00:23:18,965 No, I don't want them here. No. 458 00:23:18,998 --> 00:23:25,672 Okay, um, obviously this is just precautionary. 459 00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:29,041 It's actually important that we all have one of these. 460 00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:31,544 Even you should have one, I can help you fill it out... 461 00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:32,912 later if you want. 462 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:37,917 You look good! You enjoying the gym? 463 00:23:37,950 --> 00:23:40,687 Yeah. Cool. 464 00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,856 Okay, section one, designation of agent... 465 00:23:43,890 --> 00:23:47,760 I've designated myself as agent. 466 00:23:47,794 --> 00:23:50,763 It just means that I would be making health care decisions... 467 00:23:50,797 --> 00:23:52,198 if Mom can't. 468 00:23:52,231 --> 00:23:54,100 Meaning he can kill me. 469 00:23:54,133 --> 00:23:59,672 Yeah, yeah, as soon as I get my info down here, I can kill her. 470 00:23:59,706 --> 00:24:01,708 And, if it's okay with you... 471 00:24:01,741 --> 00:24:06,579 you are designated first alternate agent... 472 00:24:06,613 --> 00:24:10,717 it just means you're my second in command. 473 00:24:10,750 --> 00:24:12,885 No, I don't want him in that position. 474 00:24:12,919 --> 00:24:15,187 Joanne, it's precautionary. Absolutely not, no. 475 00:24:15,221 --> 00:24:17,524 No, sorry, then put Nina down. It's not gonna happen. 476 00:24:17,557 --> 00:24:19,158 Mom, it's really fine. 477 00:24:19,191 --> 00:24:21,127 It's not fine. You should not have to be put in that position. 478 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:22,962 No, the answer is no. 479 00:24:22,995 --> 00:24:28,501 Okay, if you want Nina, we'll do Nina. 480 00:24:28,535 --> 00:24:32,772 Uh, section 2.1, End-Of-Life Decisions. 481 00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:35,041 "Donation Of Organs At Death". 482 00:24:35,074 --> 00:24:37,176 Do you want to be an organ donor? 483 00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:39,746 No, I don't want to-- who's gonna want my organs? 484 00:24:39,779 --> 00:24:41,881 My organs have tumors all over them. 485 00:24:41,914 --> 00:24:47,854 Your eyes, you could do your eyes, pretty blue eyes. 486 00:24:47,887 --> 00:24:49,989 All right, fine, my eyes. 487 00:24:52,224 --> 00:24:54,761 Okay, I'll make sure about that. 488 00:24:54,794 --> 00:25:02,835 Here's another fun topic, um... cremation? 489 00:25:02,869 --> 00:25:05,638 No, I'm not get-- we talked about this. 490 00:25:05,672 --> 00:25:07,106 I know we talked about it, I just want to-- 491 00:25:07,139 --> 00:25:08,908 I'm not gonna be burned up, okay? 492 00:25:08,941 --> 00:25:12,178 How would you like it if someone set you on fire? No, thank you. 493 00:25:12,211 --> 00:25:15,281 Well, it's not like they light you, I mean, you're-- 494 00:25:15,314 --> 00:25:18,117 I don't want to be lit on fire. I don't like that. 495 00:25:18,150 --> 00:25:20,086 I don't like camping and I don't like fires... 496 00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:23,656 and I don't want to be personally lit on fire, no. 497 00:25:23,690 --> 00:25:25,725 I want to be frozen. Do they have that as an option? 498 00:25:25,758 --> 00:25:27,293 Frozen, can I be frozen? 499 00:25:27,326 --> 00:25:29,061 You want to be frozen? Check the frozen option. 500 00:25:29,095 --> 00:25:31,831 Frozen like a pea? Yeah, exactly, like a pea. 501 00:25:31,864 --> 00:25:33,332 Um-- 502 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,234 I want to be frozen and then propped up on our couch... 503 00:25:35,267 --> 00:25:37,103 in our living room, and I can watch you to make sure... 504 00:25:37,136 --> 00:25:38,104 you don't cheat on me when I'm gone. 505 00:25:38,137 --> 00:25:40,072 You're gonna-- 506 00:25:40,106 --> 00:25:41,908 You think it's funny, but that's what I'm gonna do. 507 00:25:41,941 --> 00:25:44,210 But you won't have eyes, because you donated your eyes. 508 00:25:44,243 --> 00:25:46,913 Mm, that's too bad, then I guess I'll be buried. 509 00:25:46,946 --> 00:25:49,716 Okay, just hear me out on this. 510 00:25:52,118 --> 00:25:54,787 Burial, you know, it's-- 511 00:25:54,821 --> 00:25:56,088 What? 512 00:25:56,122 --> 00:26:00,359 Think about it, I mean, the coffin, a plot... 513 00:26:00,392 --> 00:26:02,729 I mean, do we really want to do all that? 514 00:26:02,762 --> 00:26:04,363 What? Norman-- I mean, that's what they did-- 515 00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:06,899 No. I don't want to talk about this anymore. 516 00:26:06,933 --> 00:26:08,300 Olden times. I don't care if it's olden... 517 00:26:08,334 --> 00:26:10,002 I just think-- I like the olden times. 518 00:26:10,036 --> 00:26:13,239 We could scatter your ashes someplace meaningful. 519 00:26:13,272 --> 00:26:15,107 No. I think it could be beautiful. 520 00:26:15,141 --> 00:26:16,909 Why are you trying to make me mad, Norman, I keep saying no! 521 00:26:16,943 --> 00:26:18,711 I'm not! And you're pushing me. 522 00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:21,748 Please stop, I told you, I don't want to be cremated. 523 00:26:21,781 --> 00:26:23,349 And I don't care if you think it's a dumb idea! 524 00:26:23,382 --> 00:26:25,952 I do not want to be cremated, okay? I don't like it. 525 00:26:25,985 --> 00:26:27,854 It makes me uncomfortable. Okay. 526 00:26:27,887 --> 00:26:29,956 I don't like it, I have a right to say that I don't-- 527 00:26:29,989 --> 00:26:31,658 I don't fucking want to be fucking cremated. 528 00:26:31,691 --> 00:26:35,762 Okay, baby. Okay. I'm sorry. 529 00:26:35,795 --> 00:26:38,898 And I hate this stupid wig, I look like a fucking dead person. 530 00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:46,773 You don't have to be cremated. 531 00:26:46,806 --> 00:26:49,341 Okay, good. I don't want to be cremated. 532 00:26:54,313 --> 00:26:57,416 We could do a green burial? 533 00:26:57,449 --> 00:27:00,720 It's this thing I saw on "Six Feet Under". 534 00:27:00,753 --> 00:27:04,023 It's like a burial, but they-- 535 00:27:04,056 --> 00:27:08,260 There's no coffin, or plot, it's totally natural. 536 00:27:08,294 --> 00:27:11,297 They just put you in the earth... 537 00:27:11,330 --> 00:27:15,167 in like a pretty park or something. 538 00:27:15,201 --> 00:27:18,237 Good, I want to do that. I want to do David's idea. 539 00:27:18,270 --> 00:27:20,206 Okay, we'll do that. Okay. 540 00:27:20,239 --> 00:27:22,074 We'll go green. 541 00:27:25,011 --> 00:27:26,813 I'll figure that out. 542 00:27:26,846 --> 00:27:28,981 I don't wanna come to this stupid place anymore... 543 00:27:29,015 --> 00:27:31,450 because that guy is literally doing that the whole time. 544 00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:33,920 ( CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ) 545 00:27:33,953 --> 00:27:35,922 [JOANNE] Ridiculous. 546 00:27:35,955 --> 00:27:39,025 ( SOBBING ) 547 00:27:39,058 --> 00:27:41,193 I hate this. I know. 548 00:27:44,897 --> 00:27:47,900 [JOANNE] I hate it! I told her not to do the arm. 549 00:27:47,934 --> 00:27:49,802 I told her that there's no veins there. 550 00:27:49,836 --> 00:27:51,303 I told her to try the hand. 551 00:27:51,337 --> 00:27:53,372 But she still did the arm, and she kept poking me. 552 00:27:53,405 --> 00:27:56,175 Baby, we do not-- listen-- 553 00:27:56,208 --> 00:27:57,910 [JOANNE] I'm sorry. 554 00:27:57,944 --> 00:27:59,311 We don't have to do this anymore. 555 00:27:59,345 --> 00:28:02,882 No, I don't want them to see me quit. 556 00:28:02,915 --> 00:28:05,184 Well, then, take this one-- nobody's quitting. 557 00:28:05,217 --> 00:28:07,386 Listen to me, this is what we're going to do. 558 00:28:07,419 --> 00:28:08,988 We're gonna do one more round-- No. 559 00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:11,290 And we're gonna see how you feel, okay? 560 00:28:11,323 --> 00:28:12,792 That's what we're gonna do, okay? 561 00:28:12,825 --> 00:28:15,161 Well, why do they keep getting bigger? 562 00:28:15,194 --> 00:28:18,030 Why do they keep getting bigger? I don't know. 563 00:28:23,002 --> 00:28:25,171 I think we need to think about the port. 564 00:28:25,204 --> 00:28:26,973 No, I don't wanna look like a robot. 565 00:28:27,006 --> 00:28:29,041 You're not gonna look like a robot, baby. 566 00:28:29,075 --> 00:28:30,977 I don't want to look like a robot! 567 00:28:31,010 --> 00:28:32,812 You're not gonna be able to see it. 568 00:28:32,845 --> 00:28:35,181 The doctor said it would be totally covered by your shirt. 569 00:28:35,214 --> 00:28:37,950 No. Honey-- 570 00:28:39,418 --> 00:28:42,054 I hate this. I know. 571 00:28:46,525 --> 00:28:48,194 RACHEL RAY (ON TV) Yum, yum, and yum... 572 00:28:48,227 --> 00:28:49,996 so now we're gonna take our chicken... 573 00:28:50,029 --> 00:28:52,164 with the cheese literally coming out the sides. 574 00:28:52,198 --> 00:28:54,000 I know! 575 00:28:54,033 --> 00:28:56,302 Note to self, don't put your kitchen towel... 576 00:28:56,335 --> 00:28:57,770 too close to the stove. 577 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:03,042 You know, your mother was supposed to be born dead. 578 00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:05,778 So she's still very, very lucky. 579 00:29:05,812 --> 00:29:06,946 Oh, Grandpa! 580 00:29:06,979 --> 00:29:10,216 It's true. Ask her doctor! 581 00:29:10,249 --> 00:29:13,519 I mean, he's dead, but if he wasn't, you could. 582 00:29:13,552 --> 00:29:15,421 He hung himself. 583 00:29:15,454 --> 00:29:19,525 See, Grandma was already pregnant and somehow she got... 584 00:29:19,558 --> 00:29:21,794 pregnant again with your mother, 585 00:29:21,828 --> 00:29:27,033 and your mother absorbed the first child in the womb. 586 00:29:27,066 --> 00:29:28,567 That's true. 587 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,970 The doctor thought your mom was either gonna be born dead... 588 00:29:31,003 --> 00:29:36,075 or with the other baby's hands comin' outta her face. 589 00:29:36,108 --> 00:29:37,977 Grandpa! 590 00:29:38,010 --> 00:29:41,480 It's true, Ruthie! God as my witness. But she didn't. 591 00:29:41,513 --> 00:29:45,417 No, she didn't. Her face was fine. You've seen it. 592 00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:47,253 Yes. I've seen it. 593 00:29:47,286 --> 00:29:49,288 But she does got those big bunions! 594 00:29:49,321 --> 00:29:51,924 Those could be her sister! 595 00:29:51,958 --> 00:29:53,325 Oh, god. 596 00:29:54,961 --> 00:29:56,595 Where are the girls? 597 00:29:56,628 --> 00:30:00,599 Um, I think Alex and her friends went to Rebecca's work to eat... 598 00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:03,269 and then they were going to a concert or something. 599 00:30:03,302 --> 00:30:05,838 Well, why didn't you go with them? 600 00:30:05,872 --> 00:30:07,073 I was just feelin' kind of out of it. 601 00:30:07,106 --> 00:30:11,911 Well, you still shoulda gone! 602 00:30:11,944 --> 00:30:14,046 I'm gonna use the bathroom. Okay. 603 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,482 He's a nice boy. He's a great boy. 604 00:30:16,515 --> 00:30:18,417 He looks good, too. 605 00:30:24,323 --> 00:30:26,993 [GRANDPA] Oh, David... 606 00:30:27,026 --> 00:30:30,096 did you hear what happened to Mary Elsenpeter? 607 00:30:30,129 --> 00:30:34,066 Uh...no! I'm in the bathroom! 608 00:30:34,100 --> 00:30:38,004 Her family lives in that red cabin down on Ten Mile? 609 00:30:38,037 --> 00:30:40,006 [GRANDPA] Well, she got her head got torn off. 610 00:30:40,039 --> 00:30:42,875 [GRANDMA] Grandpa! He's in the bathroom. 611 00:30:42,909 --> 00:30:45,244 Well, it's true. It is true! 612 00:30:45,277 --> 00:30:50,016 It got torn right off! Yeah. 613 00:30:50,049 --> 00:30:53,319 Poor thing, she had just gotten into Bemidji State! 614 00:30:53,352 --> 00:30:56,455 Crazy. Yeah. 615 00:30:56,488 --> 00:30:59,558 She was swimming and a boat decapitated her. 616 00:30:59,591 --> 00:31:03,562 But she didn't die right away, she swam around for an hour. 617 00:31:03,595 --> 00:31:06,598 Oh! Maybe a minute or two. No, no! 618 00:31:06,632 --> 00:31:09,135 At least a half-hour! No. 619 00:31:09,168 --> 00:31:12,404 The medic said she was trying to climb up onto Hoffman's dock... 620 00:31:12,438 --> 00:31:15,041 without her head. 621 00:31:15,074 --> 00:31:18,377 He's making this up. Oh, no, it's true. 622 00:31:18,410 --> 00:31:21,914 Okay, I think I'm gonna get going. 623 00:31:21,948 --> 00:31:24,583 You leaving? Yeah. 624 00:31:24,616 --> 00:31:27,553 ( GRANDPA CRYING ) 625 00:31:29,455 --> 00:31:31,523 This is just so hard. 626 00:31:36,095 --> 00:31:40,032 She's your mom, but she's our little girl. 627 00:31:40,066 --> 00:31:42,401 Oh, Ronnie, don't be-- 628 00:31:45,237 --> 00:31:48,674 You just never know what's gonna happen in this life. 629 00:31:51,010 --> 00:31:54,180 ( SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ) 630 00:32:42,561 --> 00:32:44,963 Are you mad I'm stopping? 631 00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:50,402 No. 632 00:32:50,436 --> 00:32:54,740 Nothing's shrinking them. 633 00:32:54,773 --> 00:32:59,611 I'd rather have a good few months or a year... 50 years. 634 00:33:06,552 --> 00:33:08,587 Are you scared? 635 00:33:10,156 --> 00:33:13,425 No... not scared. 636 00:33:15,261 --> 00:33:19,131 I'm sorry for all the mean things I said when you came out. 637 00:33:19,165 --> 00:33:22,301 That's-- that's okay. 638 00:33:24,336 --> 00:33:27,039 No, I'm your mother. 639 00:33:27,073 --> 00:33:30,476 I want to ask your forgiveness for that whole time. 640 00:33:33,479 --> 00:33:35,414 I forgive you. 641 00:33:37,749 --> 00:33:40,419 And when you were little, I dropped you... 642 00:33:40,452 --> 00:33:42,654 and you hit your head on the edge of a table. 643 00:33:42,688 --> 00:33:46,625 I think you're fine, but I'm really sorry that I did that. 644 00:33:48,427 --> 00:33:50,629 It was very bad. 645 00:33:57,503 --> 00:34:03,475 My wish for you is to not be so stressed. It's not worth it. 646 00:34:03,509 --> 00:34:05,611 You can be stress, stress, stress... 647 00:34:05,644 --> 00:34:08,080 and still end up like this. 648 00:34:15,354 --> 00:34:17,423 That's a really good photo of me. 649 00:34:17,456 --> 00:34:19,491 Yeah, it's pretty. 650 00:34:19,525 --> 00:34:23,195 Your mother was a model, David, just so you know. 651 00:34:27,399 --> 00:34:30,469 Oh well. 652 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,808 I wish we could just like... 653 00:34:36,842 --> 00:34:40,179 go travel the whole world real quick... 654 00:34:40,212 --> 00:34:44,350 so you could just see everything. 655 00:34:44,383 --> 00:34:47,786 I get to see my whole world at dinner tonight. 656 00:34:57,896 --> 00:35:00,466 All I ever wanted was to be a mother, 657 00:35:00,499 --> 00:35:02,634 that's all I ever wanted. 658 00:35:02,668 --> 00:35:06,238 And I got to do that three times... 659 00:35:06,272 --> 00:35:10,876 so whatever happens, happens. 660 00:35:10,909 --> 00:35:14,413 But I am coming to New York next month to see you perform! 661 00:35:14,446 --> 00:35:19,285 Mm-hm, you can cross that one off the board. 662 00:35:23,355 --> 00:35:25,391 I'll cross it out. 663 00:35:27,759 --> 00:35:31,497 But I don't know if I'll be here for their things, though. 664 00:35:31,530 --> 00:35:33,699 I think you will. 665 00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:42,908 Are you gonna have kids? 666 00:35:47,646 --> 00:35:50,549 I want to. 667 00:35:50,582 --> 00:35:53,885 I love Paul, he's such a nice guy. 668 00:35:53,919 --> 00:35:55,354 Yeah. 669 00:35:55,387 --> 00:35:57,723 You think you're gonna marry him? 670 00:36:00,226 --> 00:36:02,628 Maybe, yeah. 671 00:36:02,661 --> 00:36:06,164 Yeah, I think you will. 672 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,808 I farted. 673 00:36:16,842 --> 00:36:20,579 I'm so sorry. That was disgusting. 674 00:36:20,612 --> 00:36:24,650 Wow, that smells so bad. I'm kind of impressed. 675 00:36:24,683 --> 00:36:27,853 I'm sorry. Your mother is disgusting. 676 00:36:27,886 --> 00:36:31,357 No... yes. 677 00:36:31,390 --> 00:36:32,658 ( DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ) 678 00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:35,327 [HOST] All right, everyone, you ready? 679 00:36:35,361 --> 00:36:36,862 It's time for your next team. 680 00:36:36,895 --> 00:36:41,467 Put your hands together for, "Mrs. Roboto!" 681 00:36:54,813 --> 00:36:58,617 Hi, guys! How y'all doin'? 682 00:37:00,619 --> 00:37:02,921 We are "Mrs. Roboto" and we are about to do... 683 00:37:02,954 --> 00:37:04,756 a fully improvised show for you. 684 00:37:04,790 --> 00:37:08,994 We just need a volunteer we can interview about their hometown. 685 00:37:09,027 --> 00:37:10,962 So can I have a volunteer? 686 00:37:10,996 --> 00:37:15,534 Yeah, yes! Bright in the pink, perfect, yeah. 687 00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:18,036 So, everybody clap for her. 688 00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:22,974 Oh, hello, so nice to meet you, so nice to meet you, yes, yes. 689 00:37:23,008 --> 00:37:25,577 I can't do this, okay, we actually know her. 690 00:37:25,611 --> 00:37:26,678 This is David's mom. 691 00:37:27,846 --> 00:37:30,782 So, I can't lie. I can't lie. 692 00:37:30,816 --> 00:37:32,851 I just can't lie to you. 693 00:37:32,884 --> 00:37:34,653 Have a seat. 694 00:37:34,686 --> 00:37:36,655 So, I just have some questions I'm gonna ask you... 695 00:37:36,688 --> 00:37:39,625 about where you're from, why don't you answer that? 696 00:37:39,658 --> 00:37:42,761 Um, I'm originally from Austin, Minnesota. 697 00:37:42,794 --> 00:37:44,463 So what was it like growing up there? 698 00:37:44,496 --> 00:37:46,798 What was like your family, what'd you guys do? 699 00:37:46,832 --> 00:37:50,068 Um, well, we lived above a restaurant called The Old Mill. 700 00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:51,603 The Old Mill? 701 00:37:51,637 --> 00:37:52,938 Because my father owned the restaurant. 702 00:37:52,971 --> 00:37:54,039 Oh! Okay! 703 00:37:54,072 --> 00:37:56,375 So did you like work-- 704 00:37:56,408 --> 00:37:58,009 Did you work there or eat there or what'd you do? 705 00:37:58,043 --> 00:37:59,978 Well, no matter what I was doing... 706 00:38:00,011 --> 00:38:01,580 whether it was day or night... 707 00:38:01,613 --> 00:38:04,716 my father would call me and make me come wash dishes. 708 00:38:04,750 --> 00:38:06,452 What? 709 00:38:06,485 --> 00:38:08,454 No matter what I was doing, whether I was doing homework... 710 00:38:08,487 --> 00:38:12,891 or on a date-- That's awful, right? 711 00:38:12,924 --> 00:38:15,361 Yeah, exactly. 712 00:38:15,394 --> 00:38:17,329 And I had a grandmother named Vi. 713 00:38:17,363 --> 00:38:19,465 Okay. And this is a funny story. 714 00:38:19,498 --> 00:38:21,700 One Christmas, God as my witness... 715 00:38:21,733 --> 00:38:25,337 all my brothers got boxes... 716 00:38:25,371 --> 00:38:28,507 with all her dead husbands' old belts as presents. 717 00:38:28,540 --> 00:38:30,542 What? Just all like... 718 00:38:30,576 --> 00:38:31,843 like all messed up in a bag. 719 00:38:31,877 --> 00:38:34,980 Like a tangled up bag of belts? Of belts. 720 00:38:35,013 --> 00:38:36,882 That is a truly horrible gift. From her dead husband. 721 00:38:36,915 --> 00:38:38,684 Yes. Wow, Grandma. 722 00:38:38,717 --> 00:38:41,887 And then, that same year, she gave me old bed sheets... 723 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:45,791 that were ripped up into sections for me to use as pads. 724 00:38:45,824 --> 00:38:50,429 What? That's an insane thing to do. 725 00:38:50,462 --> 00:38:52,364 That's a weird thing. 726 00:38:52,398 --> 00:38:53,865 That was my grandmother Vi. Okay. 727 00:38:53,899 --> 00:38:56,735 Um, you're lovely. Thank you. 728 00:38:56,768 --> 00:39:00,872 And I think we're good. Guys, please give it up for Joanne! 729 00:39:02,674 --> 00:39:03,709 You can go have a seat. 730 00:39:11,683 --> 00:39:13,652 You know I love you. Yeah, I love you, too. 731 00:39:13,685 --> 00:39:17,723 And I just feel like it's time to take this to the next level. 732 00:39:17,756 --> 00:39:19,090 Oh, my god, I knew you were going to do this. 733 00:39:19,124 --> 00:39:21,460 I knew you were going to do this. I'm-- 734 00:39:21,493 --> 00:39:22,894 Here you go. 735 00:39:22,928 --> 00:39:25,464 A lot of belts tangled up. Yeah. 736 00:39:25,497 --> 00:39:30,702 This is incredible. Oh, my god. You really love me. 737 00:39:30,736 --> 00:39:34,540 Girl, did he give you belts? Yes! 738 00:39:34,573 --> 00:39:36,875 Damn! It's so big! 739 00:39:36,908 --> 00:39:38,610 God, that means he fucking loves you! 740 00:39:38,644 --> 00:39:41,146 I know! Oh, my god! 741 00:39:41,179 --> 00:39:44,015 Don't untangle them! Oh, I'm sorry. 742 00:39:44,049 --> 00:39:46,552 Push! Okay, he's coming, he's coming. 743 00:39:46,585 --> 00:39:49,054 And there you go! 744 00:39:49,087 --> 00:39:50,856 That's great, the breathing and everything... 745 00:39:50,889 --> 00:39:53,659 but if you could try and do some dishes while-- 746 00:39:53,692 --> 00:39:58,029 Here, let's have the baby do some dishes, too. 747 00:39:58,063 --> 00:40:02,534 Agh! Cut the cord! Cut the cord! 748 00:40:05,771 --> 00:40:07,873 [DAVID] It's crazy, though! 749 00:40:07,906 --> 00:40:09,741 Wait, I have an even better one. 750 00:40:09,775 --> 00:40:12,177 So, some of you might know, I'm a second-grade teacher. 751 00:40:12,210 --> 00:40:13,845 I don't know if David told you. 752 00:40:13,879 --> 00:40:15,747 So we're on the floor, doing Show-and-Tell... 753 00:40:15,781 --> 00:40:16,948 like we do every day. 754 00:40:16,982 --> 00:40:18,950 Show and Tell! 755 00:40:18,984 --> 00:40:21,019 And yeah, you remember the days. 756 00:40:21,052 --> 00:40:23,555 And we get to my little student Roberto... 757 00:40:23,589 --> 00:40:24,956 who David knows I talk about this cute... 758 00:40:24,990 --> 00:40:26,725 little boy all the time. 759 00:40:26,758 --> 00:40:28,193 He's just like about the cutest little boy in the world... 760 00:40:28,226 --> 00:40:30,128 a head full of silver teeth. 761 00:40:30,161 --> 00:40:32,030 So he says to me... 762 00:40:32,063 --> 00:40:34,966 "Mrs. Mulcahey, my Show N Tell's still in my backpack". 763 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,868 And I said, "That's okay, honey, go get it out." 764 00:40:36,902 --> 00:40:39,638 He pulls out a fully dead chicken... 765 00:40:39,671 --> 00:40:41,773 with the feathers still on it. 766 00:40:46,512 --> 00:40:50,582 You guys, your mom is so pretty. She's like gorgeous! 767 00:40:50,616 --> 00:40:51,983 You both have her eyes. 768 00:40:52,017 --> 00:40:54,119 Yeah, she looks great! Is she still...? 769 00:40:54,152 --> 00:40:57,556 Yeah, yeah, she's still-- 770 00:40:57,589 --> 00:40:59,491 Okay, yeah, no, I was, like when I saw her... 771 00:40:59,525 --> 00:41:01,560 I was like, "Oh, I guess she's better." 772 00:41:01,593 --> 00:41:04,863 And I was confused, because I remember you said that um-- 773 00:41:04,896 --> 00:41:10,035 Yeah, no, I mean she's off chemo. 774 00:41:10,068 --> 00:41:16,575 So, the chemo was makes you sick, so she's-- 775 00:41:16,608 --> 00:41:17,876 All right-- 776 00:41:17,909 --> 00:41:19,210 Feeling better. 777 00:41:19,244 --> 00:41:23,582 Well, how long will she be off the chemo? 778 00:41:23,615 --> 00:41:28,086 Um, she's not doing it anymore. 779 00:41:32,891 --> 00:41:36,895 Well, can they try, like, radiation or--? 780 00:41:36,928 --> 00:41:42,267 Yeah, we've already been through all that, and... 781 00:41:42,300 --> 00:41:47,839 it's a weird form of cancer, it doesn't really respond-- 782 00:41:47,873 --> 00:41:52,043 It's basically just too far spread, it's okay. 783 00:41:57,649 --> 00:41:59,685 David Mulcahey! 784 00:41:59,718 --> 00:42:01,653 Hi... 785 00:42:01,687 --> 00:42:04,856 Oh my god! I saw you at the show, I was like, "It's David!" 786 00:42:04,890 --> 00:42:06,157 Cuz the other day I was like, "where has David been?" 787 00:42:07,192 --> 00:42:09,260 You hate me, don't you? 788 00:42:09,294 --> 00:42:10,729 Yeah, I've been hiding. 789 00:42:10,762 --> 00:42:12,598 I knew it! You do, you hate me. No, no. 790 00:42:12,631 --> 00:42:14,633 He hates me. 791 00:42:14,666 --> 00:42:17,969 It's okay, I'm not really mad, I have been gone, too, so-- 792 00:42:18,003 --> 00:42:21,206 My cousin had a wedding in Philly, so I was gone for that. 793 00:42:21,239 --> 00:42:23,842 Then I broke my ankle... Oh, no. 794 00:42:23,875 --> 00:42:25,911 And that was a whole thing, and then I had another wedding. 795 00:42:25,944 --> 00:42:28,914 And then I like just didn't let my ankle heal properly. 796 00:42:28,947 --> 00:42:31,116 [DAVID] So now you know my crazy friends. 797 00:42:31,149 --> 00:42:33,151 [JOANNE] Yeah. [DAVID] That was really fun. 798 00:42:33,184 --> 00:42:34,786 [JOANNE] I feel kind of tipsy. 799 00:42:34,820 --> 00:42:37,723 Is this it? This is it. 800 00:42:37,756 --> 00:42:39,324 I like the gray brick. 801 00:42:39,357 --> 00:42:41,292 The neighborhood is actually really nice... 802 00:42:41,326 --> 00:42:43,929 if you just walk like six blocks that way. 803 00:42:43,962 --> 00:42:47,666 There's a good pizza place. 804 00:42:47,699 --> 00:42:50,201 I apologize in advance for the 9,000 stairs... 805 00:42:50,235 --> 00:42:53,639 you're about to climb, but, uh-- 806 00:42:53,672 --> 00:42:54,873 Are you gonna come up? 807 00:42:54,906 --> 00:42:55,974 I c-- 808 00:42:58,810 --> 00:43:01,647 Really? Please don't. 809 00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:05,951 Okay, come on, let's go! Should we go up? 810 00:43:05,984 --> 00:43:07,786 Let's go. 811 00:43:09,054 --> 00:43:11,022 Ooh, I like the Band-Aid on the floor... 812 00:43:11,056 --> 00:43:13,591 it matches the walls. 813 00:43:20,298 --> 00:43:22,133 Hey! Hi, Paul! 814 00:43:22,167 --> 00:43:24,369 Hi! It's so nice to see you. 815 00:43:24,402 --> 00:43:25,837 You, too. 816 00:43:25,871 --> 00:43:29,240 Hi. I like the shirt. Oh, thank you. 817 00:43:29,274 --> 00:43:31,677 Looking good. Hi! How you doing? 818 00:43:31,710 --> 00:43:33,078 Good, how are you? 819 00:43:34,846 --> 00:43:36,848 Thanks for doing this. 820 00:43:36,882 --> 00:43:38,917 Of course. 821 00:43:38,950 --> 00:43:43,689 So, here is our living room, slash, family room, slash... 822 00:43:43,722 --> 00:43:45,156 dining room, slash, kitchen. 823 00:43:45,190 --> 00:43:47,192 And you've seen our gorgeous foyer. 824 00:43:47,225 --> 00:43:49,728 You don't need anything more than this! 825 00:43:49,761 --> 00:43:51,897 You've got everything here. 826 00:43:51,930 --> 00:43:53,999 Nice sexy, shiny bedspread. 827 00:43:54,032 --> 00:43:57,035 Oh, sexy, shiny... thanks, Alex. 828 00:43:57,068 --> 00:43:58,770 It's pretty sexy. 829 00:43:58,804 --> 00:44:01,239 Hey, I'm sorry that I wasn't at the show. 830 00:44:01,272 --> 00:44:03,742 This server who's a liar called in sick. 831 00:44:03,775 --> 00:44:04,943 Oh, it's okay. 832 00:44:04,976 --> 00:44:07,112 It was a great show. It was so funny. 833 00:44:07,145 --> 00:44:10,048 You've gotta tell Paul the... news. 834 00:44:10,081 --> 00:44:11,983 What? 835 00:44:12,017 --> 00:44:16,287 Yeah, I saw the Artistic Director after... 836 00:44:16,321 --> 00:44:19,157 and he mentioned this ABC show that's staffing... 837 00:44:19,190 --> 00:44:21,059 and he knows the show-runner. 838 00:44:21,092 --> 00:44:23,862 So I'm gonna send in a spec. 839 00:44:23,895 --> 00:44:26,732 That's great! You already have that one you can send. 840 00:44:26,765 --> 00:44:31,069 I mean, it needs a lot of work, but-- 841 00:44:31,102 --> 00:44:34,005 Where's your dad? 842 00:44:34,039 --> 00:44:37,175 He's standing downstairs. 843 00:44:40,045 --> 00:44:41,780 Do you have any wine? 844 00:44:41,813 --> 00:44:43,314 Uh, yeah, yeah, we do. 845 00:44:43,348 --> 00:44:46,151 Isn't he waiting? 846 00:44:46,184 --> 00:44:49,054 He is waiting! Do you have any wine? 847 00:44:49,087 --> 00:44:50,789 I'm just in the mood for a glass of wine. 848 00:44:50,822 --> 00:44:54,225 ( SHOWER RUNNING ) 849 00:44:54,259 --> 00:44:57,796 Thanks for cleaning. Yeah, no problem. 850 00:44:57,829 --> 00:45:02,868 Your sisters are starting to look so much like your mom. 851 00:45:02,901 --> 00:45:05,403 Really? Yeah, like identical. 852 00:45:12,343 --> 00:45:17,448 Our lease is up on the 30th. 853 00:45:17,482 --> 00:45:19,450 Yeah, I know. 854 00:45:19,484 --> 00:45:22,153 Yeah, so, I'm gonna resign it, but you don't need to worry... 855 00:45:22,187 --> 00:45:24,122 about it. You can leave your stuff here. 856 00:45:24,155 --> 00:45:27,458 Can we talk about that not now? 857 00:45:27,492 --> 00:45:30,195 Please? Okay. 858 00:45:45,010 --> 00:45:47,846 Do you want me to-- No, no, I-- 859 00:45:53,852 --> 00:45:57,222 I finished like three days ago. I know, shut up, shut up. 860 00:45:59,457 --> 00:46:01,126 Let's just start over. 861 00:46:05,997 --> 00:46:08,333 David, you're kinda-- I know, I-- 862 00:46:08,366 --> 00:46:11,336 Okay, but you're making a murder face. 863 00:46:30,555 --> 00:46:32,157 Oh, fuck... 864 00:46:32,190 --> 00:46:34,993 I'm sorry, that sucked. 865 00:46:35,026 --> 00:46:38,830 ( CHUCKLING ) 866 00:46:38,864 --> 00:46:41,366 I think that's the best we've ever had. 867 00:46:41,399 --> 00:46:49,107 It was kind of tantric. 868 00:46:49,140 --> 00:46:52,377 ( WATER RUNNING ) 869 00:46:52,410 --> 00:46:54,946 Did you wax your butthole? 870 00:46:54,980 --> 00:46:56,481 [PAUL] Haha, what? 871 00:46:56,514 --> 00:46:58,884 You did! 872 00:46:58,917 --> 00:47:02,020 You wa-- who are you? 873 00:47:02,053 --> 00:47:06,992 [PAUL] I was just trying it! You know I hate hair. 874 00:47:07,025 --> 00:47:10,929 So are you, like, having sex, then? 875 00:47:10,962 --> 00:47:12,964 Why can't I just wax it for me? 876 00:47:12,998 --> 00:47:16,968 Well, you can, but that seems like a stupid thing to do. 877 00:47:17,002 --> 00:47:21,239 It's fine, if you've had sex. That's fine. 878 00:47:21,272 --> 00:47:24,575 [PAUL] I know it's fine. 879 00:47:24,609 --> 00:47:27,345 So you have? 880 00:47:27,378 --> 00:47:29,647 No. 881 00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:33,018 You paused, so, you have. 882 00:47:33,051 --> 00:47:35,220 You're creating one of your fights. 883 00:47:35,253 --> 00:47:37,555 No, I'm not. Yes, you are. 884 00:47:37,588 --> 00:47:41,626 Also, having sex with other people would be healthy. 885 00:47:41,659 --> 00:47:46,331 You should try it. Or at least, you know, date, flirt. Whatever. 886 00:47:46,364 --> 00:47:49,300 Yeah, right. That's me. 887 00:47:49,334 --> 00:47:54,172 Okay, fine, you just sit inside your head all day. 888 00:48:01,546 --> 00:48:08,353 Okay, so, I haven't had sex... 889 00:48:08,386 --> 00:48:14,192 but I did masturbate like nine times in one day last week. 890 00:48:14,225 --> 00:48:15,961 Wow, nine? 891 00:48:15,994 --> 00:48:20,665 Yeah, ten years later, I'm back on that same twin bed... 892 00:48:20,698 --> 00:48:24,135 just goin' at it like old times. 893 00:48:24,169 --> 00:48:25,636 You sound wistful. 894 00:48:25,670 --> 00:48:29,174 It was kind of nice, yeah. 895 00:48:29,207 --> 00:48:35,313 I got this huge mahogany desk when I was little. 896 00:48:35,346 --> 00:48:37,015 It's still in there... 897 00:48:37,048 --> 00:48:40,051 and I remember asking specifically for it... 898 00:48:40,085 --> 00:48:41,586 for my 8th birthday. 899 00:48:41,619 --> 00:48:43,588 Yeah, and of course you asked for a mahogany desk... 900 00:48:43,621 --> 00:48:45,623 for your 8th birthday. 901 00:48:45,656 --> 00:48:49,127 And one of the drawers has a lock and key... 902 00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:54,032 so it made sense for me to keep all of my porn in there. 903 00:48:54,065 --> 00:48:57,668 But it wasn't porn, it was like the ads from the Sunday paper. 904 00:48:57,702 --> 00:49:01,006 So there would be like this guy standing there... 905 00:49:01,039 --> 00:49:05,510 in a JC Penney swim suit from the late 90's... 906 00:49:05,543 --> 00:49:08,579 just working it and-- Working it? 907 00:49:08,613 --> 00:49:11,182 And um, I would steal it... Uh-huh. 908 00:49:11,216 --> 00:49:13,985 and masturbate to the same JC Penney man for like months. 909 00:49:14,019 --> 00:49:17,255 Can you imagine masturbating to something like that now? 910 00:49:17,288 --> 00:49:21,059 No, I need like full fucking and novelty. 911 00:49:21,092 --> 00:49:23,628 Right. The worst part-- Mm-hm. 912 00:49:25,330 --> 00:49:28,366 Oh, my god. 913 00:49:28,399 --> 00:49:31,069 Was that when I went to college... 914 00:49:31,102 --> 00:49:37,775 I was so worried that my parents would find these photos that... 915 00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:41,512 instead of just throwing them away like a normal person... 916 00:49:41,546 --> 00:49:46,284 I would cut each of the photos into tiny, little strips... 917 00:49:46,317 --> 00:49:48,786 and then I would soak them in water. 918 00:49:48,819 --> 00:49:50,688 What? 919 00:49:50,721 --> 00:49:56,061 And then I divvied the soggy bits up into different trash bags... 920 00:49:56,094 --> 00:49:59,197 and then threw them away into different garbage cans... 921 00:49:59,230 --> 00:50:00,565 Wait, in case-- of my neighbors'... 922 00:50:00,598 --> 00:50:02,267 just on the street. Like you were worried... 923 00:50:02,300 --> 00:50:04,102 someone was gonna piece them back together? 924 00:50:04,135 --> 00:50:05,770 I know. 925 00:50:05,803 --> 00:50:08,439 You think like Sherlock Holmes was trying to out you? 926 00:50:08,473 --> 00:50:11,076 I don't know. Going through the trash? 927 00:50:11,109 --> 00:50:12,410 I don't know. 928 00:50:15,380 --> 00:50:16,814 I was an insane person. 929 00:50:16,847 --> 00:50:20,651 Oh, poor, tiny, terrified, little David. 930 00:50:24,322 --> 00:50:28,493 That's truly horrible. Hey... 931 00:50:28,526 --> 00:50:32,163 I'm sorry I was an asshole about your butthole. 932 00:50:32,197 --> 00:50:34,499 It's okay. 933 00:50:34,532 --> 00:50:38,169 I got it done at this place called Wax Poetic. 934 00:50:38,203 --> 00:50:40,238 No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. 935 00:50:40,271 --> 00:50:43,341 But the guy who did it, didn't say a single word. 936 00:50:43,374 --> 00:50:46,744 He just like basically grunted. 937 00:50:46,777 --> 00:50:50,715 Did it hurt? Yeah, it hurt... so bad. 938 00:50:54,752 --> 00:50:57,222 Do you want me to spoon you? 939 00:50:57,255 --> 00:50:58,556 You don't have to. 940 00:50:58,589 --> 00:51:02,493 I know, but I want to. I want to. 941 00:51:06,197 --> 00:51:09,134 Just pretend I'm the guy from the JC Penney ad. 942 00:51:09,167 --> 00:51:11,469 Oh, in your dreams. 943 00:51:11,502 --> 00:51:14,705 I got sand on my feet in a moderately-priced... 944 00:51:14,739 --> 00:51:17,542 modest swim trunk. 945 00:51:21,646 --> 00:51:24,715 ( SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ) 946 00:51:24,749 --> 00:51:27,785 It's such a beautiful day. Mm-hm. 947 00:51:27,818 --> 00:51:29,720 I might run a little bit. Okay. 948 00:51:29,754 --> 00:51:31,389 You want to run with me, just kinda--? 949 00:51:31,422 --> 00:51:32,757 Yeah. 950 00:51:32,790 --> 00:51:35,260 Yeah, I just want to get my heart rate up. 951 00:51:35,293 --> 00:51:37,395 Okay. I wanna run. 952 00:51:53,411 --> 00:51:55,313 Hey. 953 00:51:55,346 --> 00:51:57,182 Beccah's at work. I was gonna go for a walk. 954 00:51:57,215 --> 00:51:58,716 Would you wanna come? 955 00:51:58,749 --> 00:52:01,452 Oh, I'm okay. Thanks, though. 956 00:52:01,486 --> 00:52:04,322 I'm gonna-- I gotta finish this. Okay. 957 00:52:32,917 --> 00:52:34,452 Fuck it. 958 00:53:33,278 --> 00:53:35,746 [DAVID] Do you have any idea what we're about to witness? 959 00:53:35,780 --> 00:53:38,916 I don't know, per se, but what I do know is that it is called... 960 00:53:38,949 --> 00:53:41,752 "An Evening of Movement and Dance For My Father... 961 00:53:41,786 --> 00:53:44,422 "Rod Stewart, on His 60th Birthday." 962 00:53:44,455 --> 00:53:48,459 And you'll notice right when you open it up there's a rose petal. 963 00:53:48,493 --> 00:53:51,462 Which is V-tasteful, I'm very proud. 964 00:53:51,496 --> 00:53:55,300 I never realized your dad's name is actually Rod Stewart. 965 00:53:55,333 --> 00:53:57,835 Yeah, it's been very hard for him. 966 00:53:57,868 --> 00:54:01,906 Hi, everybody. Hey, hello, hello. 967 00:54:01,939 --> 00:54:05,776 Well, first of all, thank you for coming to my birthday. 968 00:54:05,810 --> 00:54:07,278 And I just got the word from Justin... 969 00:54:07,312 --> 00:54:08,513 that he's ready to come down, so-- 970 00:54:08,546 --> 00:54:10,415 No, I-- 971 00:54:10,448 --> 00:54:13,017 Sorry, ignore that. We don't know where he's gonna come from. 972 00:54:13,050 --> 00:54:16,387 Oh, and he wanted me to say, please make sure all your... 973 00:54:16,421 --> 00:54:21,326 phones are completely on and that the flash is also on. 974 00:54:21,359 --> 00:54:24,329 All right, uh, I'm supposed to hit play, hold on. 975 00:54:26,397 --> 00:54:27,498 JUSTIN (OVER SPEAKER) Ladies and gentlemen... 976 00:54:27,532 --> 00:54:28,866 a quick note before the show. 977 00:54:28,899 --> 00:54:31,369 I, Justin, could not be with you tonight. 978 00:54:31,402 --> 00:54:33,671 So instead, sit back, relax... 979 00:54:33,704 --> 00:54:38,509 and enjoy dancing from my best friend... Justina Carrera. 980 00:54:39,577 --> 00:54:42,713 ( SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ) 981 00:55:09,740 --> 00:55:12,510 ( MUSIC CHANGES ) 982 00:55:12,543 --> 00:55:16,447 * It's a room full of danger here * 983 00:55:16,481 --> 00:55:19,484 * There's a heat in the atmosphere * 984 00:55:19,517 --> 00:55:23,621 * You're the game I'm the seeker I'm gonna tease you * 985 00:55:23,654 --> 00:55:27,124 * Are you ready for me 986 00:55:27,157 --> 00:55:30,861 * It's a cage full of predators * 987 00:55:30,895 --> 00:55:34,599 * There's a climb in my temperature * 988 00:55:34,632 --> 00:55:38,403 * There's a beast underneath oh come on and feed her * 989 00:55:38,436 --> 00:55:41,872 * Are you ready for me ready for me * 990 00:55:41,906 --> 00:55:44,041 * I want to scream everybody 991 00:55:44,074 --> 00:55:45,576 [GABE] Oh my god. 992 00:55:47,778 --> 00:55:49,814 * Don't you want it boy 993 00:55:49,847 --> 00:55:53,451 * Shoot it til you hit no one Run like you're from the law * 994 00:55:53,484 --> 00:55:55,085 * Body like a Oh, my god. 995 00:55:55,119 --> 00:55:58,389 * Running like an animal * 996 00:55:58,423 --> 00:56:01,025 * Hear me roar Hear me roar * 997 00:56:01,058 --> 00:56:02,860 Yes, yes, yes. 998 00:56:02,893 --> 00:56:05,530 * Give it to me 999 00:56:05,563 --> 00:56:09,734 * Hear me roar Hear me roar * 1000 00:56:09,767 --> 00:56:11,969 Can we be arrested for this? 1001 00:56:12,002 --> 00:56:15,806 I feel like we all can and should go to jail. 1002 00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:18,175 Okay, you're just jealous, because this kid's 1000 times... 1003 00:56:18,208 --> 00:56:19,810 more confident than you'll ever be. 1004 00:56:21,011 --> 00:56:23,080 * Run like your from the law 1005 00:56:23,113 --> 00:56:26,851 * Body like a Body like an animal * 1006 00:56:26,884 --> 00:56:28,553 ( MUSIC STOPS ) 1007 00:56:28,586 --> 00:56:32,623 Oh, my god! Ah! 1008 00:56:35,025 --> 00:56:37,094 Stunning! 1009 00:56:37,127 --> 00:56:40,197 That was so stressful. 1010 00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:42,933 I mean, that was the best thing I've ever seen... 1011 00:56:42,967 --> 00:56:44,769 in my entire life. 1012 00:56:50,240 --> 00:56:52,109 Did I tell you that me and my family... 1013 00:56:52,142 --> 00:56:55,480 went to New York last month? No. 1014 00:56:55,513 --> 00:56:58,883 And I took them by to see me and Paul's apartment. 1015 00:56:58,916 --> 00:57:01,185 And my dad wouldn't come up. No! 1016 00:57:01,218 --> 00:57:04,722 Yes, and we were having such a nice time, before that. 1017 00:57:04,755 --> 00:57:06,991 Do the-- have you told them that you're not together any more? 1018 00:57:07,024 --> 00:57:09,727 No, I haven't told them. Oh, god, David. 1019 00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:13,564 It's just-- 1020 00:57:13,598 --> 00:57:17,535 I just want my mom to die thinking I'm doing okay. 1021 00:57:17,568 --> 00:57:19,737 That's all. 1022 00:57:33,851 --> 00:57:36,554 Do you ever cry about your mom? 1023 00:57:36,587 --> 00:57:38,656 Now? Mm-hm. 1024 00:57:41,592 --> 00:57:45,496 No. You know, I mean, I get sad... 1025 00:57:45,530 --> 00:57:49,734 and you know, it comes in waves. 1026 00:57:49,767 --> 00:57:55,105 But I haven't like cried, cried, in like, awhile? 1027 00:57:58,108 --> 00:58:00,711 We haven't been in church in like three months. 1028 00:58:00,745 --> 00:58:03,948 Your family? That's huge. Mm-hm. 1029 00:58:03,981 --> 00:58:07,552 I thought this was the time where I'm was supposed to get... 1030 00:58:07,585 --> 00:58:09,019 all "religious-y". 1031 00:58:09,053 --> 00:58:11,922 And I keep waiting for that beautiful moment... 1032 00:58:11,956 --> 00:58:13,891 of revelation about life. 1033 00:58:13,924 --> 00:58:16,894 I mean, I thought when your mom dies, you get like a moment... 1034 00:58:16,927 --> 00:58:19,830 where you're both like sitting on a park bench... 1035 00:58:19,864 --> 00:58:25,736 on a beautiful day, and then, all of a sudden... 1036 00:58:25,770 --> 00:58:30,875 you hear the voice of god and just everything becomes clear. 1037 00:58:32,309 --> 00:58:37,815 I want that... I want that moment. 1038 00:58:40,785 --> 00:58:41,952 I-- 1039 00:58:45,623 --> 00:58:50,027 I weirdly had like, that moment, sort of. 1040 00:58:50,060 --> 00:58:51,962 Yeah? Yeah. 1041 00:58:51,996 --> 00:58:53,964 I remember when my mom died, everyone at church was like... 1042 00:58:53,998 --> 00:58:56,000 like, you know, uh you know... 1043 00:58:56,033 --> 00:58:58,869 "At least she'll be looking down on you, you know, from heaven." 1044 00:58:58,903 --> 00:59:02,272 Which is-- I mean, it is the worst thing that you can hear. 1045 00:59:02,306 --> 00:59:04,008 Yes. 1046 00:59:04,041 --> 00:59:06,644 But the one meaningful thing anyone said to me... 1047 00:59:06,677 --> 00:59:10,014 in that entire time, was from my mom. 1048 00:59:10,047 --> 00:59:12,583 We were outside... Good start. 1049 00:59:12,617 --> 00:59:17,054 Um, just a warning, this is gonna get very gay. 1050 00:59:17,087 --> 00:59:19,123 Okay. 1051 00:59:19,156 --> 00:59:23,127 We were in our backyard, and... 1052 00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:28,933 I remember her saying something about how much she loved birch trees, you know, which I already knew. 1053 00:59:28,966 --> 00:59:33,303 But then she said, "When I die, I'm gonna be a birch tree. 1054 00:59:33,337 --> 00:59:35,706 "So when you see one, that's me." 1055 00:59:35,740 --> 00:59:38,643 And, you know, I fully should've forgotten it... 1056 00:59:38,676 --> 00:59:41,679 'cause it's such a small, random thing and people say bullshit... 1057 00:59:41,712 --> 00:59:43,848 like that all the time, but it has always stuck with me... 1058 00:59:43,881 --> 00:59:47,017 because you know, now I literally always think of her... 1059 00:59:47,051 --> 00:59:50,354 when I see a birch tree, and it is so nice. 1060 00:59:50,387 --> 00:59:51,756 Yeah. 1061 00:59:51,789 --> 00:59:53,658 You know, and I do not believe... 1062 00:59:53,691 --> 00:59:55,760 in the "she's looking down on you" thing, at all. 1063 00:59:55,793 --> 00:59:58,362 But, you know, she said she was a birch tree. 1064 00:59:58,395 --> 01:00:00,297 And I know she's not really one... 1065 01:00:00,330 --> 01:00:04,368 but... I don't know, she sort of is. 1066 01:00:04,401 --> 01:00:06,036 'Cause now every time I see one, I'm like... 1067 01:00:07,171 --> 01:00:10,107 "There's Mom". 1068 01:00:10,140 --> 01:00:13,243 So I didn't learn some huge lesson... 1069 01:00:13,277 --> 01:00:18,783 but that was my Jesus-y moment, you know, sans Christ. 1070 01:00:18,816 --> 01:00:21,185 And I will always have it. 1071 01:00:21,218 --> 01:00:23,253 That's really nice. 1072 01:00:29,326 --> 01:00:32,162 ( LAUGHING ) 1073 01:00:32,196 --> 01:00:34,131 ( LAUGHING CONTINUES ) 1074 01:00:34,164 --> 01:00:37,802 Don't look at us, we're drug addicts! 1075 01:00:37,835 --> 01:00:39,704 Hello. 1076 01:00:39,737 --> 01:00:40,938 David, don't. 1077 01:00:40,971 --> 01:00:42,873 What's going on? 1078 01:00:42,907 --> 01:00:45,743 We're drug addicts, David, it's time that you knew. 1079 01:00:45,776 --> 01:00:49,680 Okay. Is Dad okay? 1080 01:00:49,714 --> 01:00:54,218 Dad has to give his report on the school tomorrow... 1081 01:00:54,251 --> 01:00:56,120 he has to go into the-- 1082 01:00:59,056 --> 01:01:00,991 He has to go to the district office... 1083 01:01:01,025 --> 01:01:03,127 and give this school report. 1084 01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:05,195 You know what your speech should just be, Norman? 1085 01:01:05,229 --> 01:01:07,698 You should go in... 1086 01:01:09,199 --> 01:01:11,836 "Attention, here's my progress report... 1087 01:01:11,869 --> 01:01:15,105 "my wife is dying and we smoked too much pot... 1088 01:01:15,139 --> 01:01:17,174 "and they had to take us to the emergency room... 1089 01:01:17,207 --> 01:01:20,745 "because my wife ate too many potato chips." 1090 01:01:20,778 --> 01:01:22,246 Wait, you went to the emergency room? 1091 01:01:22,279 --> 01:01:23,413 Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 1092 01:01:23,447 --> 01:01:25,449 What'd they say? 1093 01:01:25,482 --> 01:01:28,085 They said you took too much pot and you gotta go home. 1094 01:01:28,118 --> 01:01:31,455 They said you took too much pot, get your ass out of here. 1095 01:01:31,488 --> 01:01:33,290 Very... high. 1096 01:01:33,323 --> 01:01:36,060 They said, get your-- 1097 01:01:38,062 --> 01:01:39,296 That's what they said. 1098 01:01:39,329 --> 01:01:41,866 They said, hey-- 1099 01:01:44,168 --> 01:01:47,304 I thought you didn't wanna try medical marijuana. 1100 01:01:47,337 --> 01:01:50,407 Well, I tried it! 1101 01:01:50,440 --> 01:01:54,311 I see that. But why are you so stoned? 1102 01:01:54,344 --> 01:01:56,146 How much butter did you use? 1103 01:01:56,180 --> 01:01:57,748 Just one stick! 1104 01:01:57,782 --> 01:02:00,217 You used a whole stick? Mm-hm. 1105 01:02:00,250 --> 01:02:01,919 Wait, how do you know how much goes in there? 1106 01:02:01,952 --> 01:02:05,756 Because I smoke pot. I'm stoned right now. 1107 01:02:07,524 --> 01:02:09,159 Drink some water. 1108 01:02:10,828 --> 01:02:14,098 Good for you, David. Live your life. 1109 01:02:14,131 --> 01:02:15,232 I will. 1110 01:02:15,265 --> 01:02:18,168 Live your life, you too, Norman. 1111 01:02:18,202 --> 01:02:20,004 When I die, you gotta live your life. 1112 01:02:20,037 --> 01:02:22,039 Except you can't date anyone for a year... 1113 01:02:22,072 --> 01:02:24,909 and you can't date that slut who came to the door today. 1114 01:02:24,942 --> 01:02:27,311 As in Lisa, the one that brought you a pie? 1115 01:02:27,344 --> 01:02:30,080 Eh, only a slut would come to the door with dessert. 1116 01:02:30,114 --> 01:02:32,282 You're supposed to bring a lasagna or something like that. 1117 01:02:32,316 --> 01:02:34,084 I didn't know that. 1118 01:02:34,118 --> 01:02:38,255 Well, I'm gonna go find Alex and Beccah... have fun. 1119 01:02:39,489 --> 01:02:42,059 Come in! 1120 01:02:42,092 --> 01:02:43,227 Hi. 1121 01:02:43,260 --> 01:02:44,461 Did you see Mom? 1122 01:02:44,494 --> 01:02:46,363 Yes. What happened? 1123 01:02:46,396 --> 01:02:48,132 I came home from work and they were like that. 1124 01:02:48,165 --> 01:02:50,000 It's your fault. 1125 01:02:50,034 --> 01:02:51,535 I didn't wanna tell them they were putting too much butter... 1126 01:02:51,568 --> 01:02:53,971 because then they were gonna ask how I know. 1127 01:02:54,004 --> 01:02:55,505 Ask how you know? Alex, look at your shirt! 1128 01:02:55,539 --> 01:02:57,274 They know you do drugs. 1129 01:02:57,307 --> 01:02:59,109 Look at your shirt! They didn't know you were gay! 1130 01:02:59,143 --> 01:03:00,945 This is just blue. 1131 01:03:00,978 --> 01:03:04,081 It was like my favorite night with them like, ever. 1132 01:03:04,114 --> 01:03:05,282 That's nice. 1133 01:03:05,315 --> 01:03:07,117 You shoulda been there. 1134 01:03:07,151 --> 01:03:10,154 They're like pot Jolly Ranchers if you wanna do em sometime. 1135 01:03:10,187 --> 01:03:12,289 Yeah... maybe. 1136 01:03:12,322 --> 01:03:16,393 Does that mean no? No, it means maybe. 1137 01:03:16,426 --> 01:03:18,462 Well, I'm gonna put Mom to bed now. 1138 01:03:18,495 --> 01:03:20,831 And then maybe do you wanna hang out? 1139 01:03:20,865 --> 01:03:22,599 Oh, that's okay. 1140 01:03:22,632 --> 01:03:25,169 Thanks, but I'm gonna try and do some writing while she's asleep. 1141 01:03:25,202 --> 01:03:27,471 Always writing. 1142 01:03:47,057 --> 01:03:50,560 I'm glad we're doing this. Yeah. 1143 01:03:50,594 --> 01:03:53,597 Yeah, the school looks pretty. 1144 01:03:56,666 --> 01:03:59,603 I like the birch trees. 1145 01:03:59,636 --> 01:04:03,073 You like birch trees, right? 1146 01:04:03,107 --> 01:04:04,041 Mm-hm. 1147 01:04:09,179 --> 01:04:11,181 Okay, ladies, ladies, ladies... 1148 01:04:11,215 --> 01:04:14,518 ladies and gentleman... Thank you. 1149 01:04:14,551 --> 01:04:16,887 To the start of another good year! 1150 01:04:16,921 --> 01:04:18,588 And for having Joanne with us today! 1151 01:04:18,622 --> 01:04:20,357 Cheers! To Joanne! 1152 01:04:21,959 --> 01:04:23,427 Joanne, do not judge my room. 1153 01:04:23,460 --> 01:04:25,896 I know that it is a disaster zone. 1154 01:04:25,930 --> 01:04:27,364 Your mother always had her room set up... 1155 01:04:27,397 --> 01:04:29,967 weeks before the school year started. 1156 01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:31,969 We hated her. 1157 01:04:32,002 --> 01:04:34,538 I guess I have a tough act to follow then, huh? 1158 01:04:34,571 --> 01:04:36,540 Well, if you teach with us, all that matters is... 1159 01:04:36,573 --> 01:04:37,942 do you like wine? 1160 01:04:37,975 --> 01:04:40,544 Exactly. Oh, my god, yes! 1161 01:04:40,577 --> 01:04:44,314 Joanne, she's gonna take over for you just fine. 1162 01:04:44,348 --> 01:04:46,416 Joanne, I really like this top. 1163 01:04:46,450 --> 01:04:48,452 Target. Where? 1164 01:04:48,485 --> 01:04:50,354 Target. Target. 1165 01:04:50,387 --> 01:04:51,688 You always have the cutest stuff. 1166 01:04:51,721 --> 01:04:53,190 You really do. 1167 01:04:53,223 --> 01:04:55,459 And Target has really good stuff. 1168 01:04:55,492 --> 01:04:57,594 They really do! I love it there. 1169 01:04:57,627 --> 01:05:00,364 Vicki, Vicki? 1170 01:05:00,397 --> 01:05:04,001 Vicki, you're getting Roberto's little brother this year. 1171 01:05:04,034 --> 01:05:05,970 Oh, good luck. 1172 01:05:06,003 --> 01:05:07,571 I'm sorry, who am I-- who am I getting? 1173 01:05:07,604 --> 01:05:09,706 Roberto's little brother this year. 1174 01:05:09,739 --> 01:05:11,641 Roberto's brother, the one with the silver teeth. 1175 01:05:11,675 --> 01:05:16,546 Mm-hm. Uh-huh. 1176 01:05:16,580 --> 01:05:22,152 Roberto. I had him two years ago. He brought the chicken. 1177 01:05:24,688 --> 01:05:28,959 His little brother is in our clas-- your class, this year. 1178 01:05:28,993 --> 01:05:32,496 See, that's why Joanne's retiring. 1179 01:05:34,031 --> 01:05:35,232 I see. 1180 01:05:35,265 --> 01:05:37,234 I like Roberto. 1181 01:05:37,267 --> 01:05:40,137 We can leave whenever you want, okay? 1182 01:05:40,170 --> 01:05:41,505 And now what was the chicken story, though? 1183 01:05:41,538 --> 01:05:43,140 I missed that. 1184 01:05:43,173 --> 01:05:45,175 Joanne, you gotta tell her. Yeah, tell her. 1185 01:05:47,611 --> 01:05:54,084 We were doing Show N Tell, and he pulled out his backpack-- 1186 01:05:54,118 --> 01:05:55,152 His what? 1187 01:05:55,185 --> 01:05:58,022 His backpack. 1188 01:05:58,055 --> 01:06:04,494 He says, "Mrs. Mulcahey, I brought this chicken"-- 1189 01:06:04,528 --> 01:06:05,729 Eww. 1190 01:06:05,762 --> 01:06:10,034 I'm sorry, what was going on? 1191 01:06:10,067 --> 01:06:11,601 It was Show N Tell. 1192 01:06:11,635 --> 01:06:15,139 Oh, I didn't-- I missed that part! Ah, go on. 1193 01:06:15,172 --> 01:06:17,474 You tell the story. You can tell-- 1194 01:06:17,507 --> 01:06:20,210 No, go on, please, go on. 1195 01:06:20,244 --> 01:06:22,312 Okay, so-- I mean, Joanne tells it better, but-- 1196 01:06:22,346 --> 01:06:24,014 So he pulls out this backpack... 1197 01:06:24,048 --> 01:06:28,052 and inside is a like legit, full-on dead chicken. 1198 01:06:28,085 --> 01:06:33,657 Not from a store, with feathers on it, newly dead. 1199 01:06:33,690 --> 01:06:36,160 Oh, no! 1200 01:06:36,193 --> 01:06:38,795 We laughed so hard I thought I was gonna pee my pants. 1201 01:06:38,828 --> 01:06:40,630 Joanne did. 1202 01:06:47,704 --> 01:06:49,539 My mom wanted me to give you these. 1203 01:06:49,573 --> 01:06:52,342 They're little boxes that she made for the kids... 1204 01:06:52,376 --> 01:06:55,045 with their names on 'em and all their pencils... 1205 01:06:55,079 --> 01:06:56,546 and little candies and stuff. 1206 01:06:56,580 --> 01:07:00,150 Oh my god. Joanne! 1207 01:07:00,184 --> 01:07:03,220 This is too much. You did not have to do this. 1208 01:07:03,253 --> 01:07:05,089 One less thing for you to have to do. 1209 01:07:05,122 --> 01:07:07,657 And I put a candy in each one... 1210 01:07:07,691 --> 01:07:09,826 but you can take it out, if you want to. 1211 01:07:09,859 --> 01:07:11,828 Thank you so much. 1212 01:07:11,861 --> 01:07:15,465 Your mother is the best. She's justthe be st. 1213 01:07:15,499 --> 01:07:21,638 All right, okay, um, well, come visit! 1214 01:07:21,671 --> 01:07:24,774 You know, stop by any time, it's your classroom. 1215 01:07:24,808 --> 01:07:28,578 I'm just babysitting, so-- 1216 01:07:28,612 --> 01:07:30,046 Okay. 1217 01:07:33,750 --> 01:07:35,585 You okay? 1218 01:07:43,693 --> 01:07:45,262 Okay. 1219 01:07:45,295 --> 01:07:46,630 ( ENGINE STARTING ) 1220 01:08:00,210 --> 01:08:03,380 You're lucky, I was gonna finish off your fries. 1221 01:08:03,413 --> 01:08:04,781 I bet you can't get fries that good... 1222 01:08:04,814 --> 01:08:06,816 in any fancy New York diner. 1223 01:08:06,850 --> 01:08:10,120 Nope. 1224 01:08:10,154 --> 01:08:11,755 So, Alex, have you decided what you want to do... 1225 01:08:11,788 --> 01:08:13,557 for your birthday? 1226 01:08:13,590 --> 01:08:15,392 It's October. 1227 01:08:15,425 --> 01:08:18,595 Yeah, but December 1st is gonna be here before you know it. 1228 01:08:25,902 --> 01:08:31,408 Does anybody have any questions about what's going on with Mom? 1229 01:08:33,443 --> 01:08:37,247 This is-- her body is shutting down. 1230 01:08:37,281 --> 01:08:40,484 That's-- that's what you're noticing. 1231 01:08:47,491 --> 01:08:49,259 How's Daniel? 1232 01:08:49,293 --> 01:08:51,228 Good. Good. 1233 01:08:51,261 --> 01:08:52,896 Working a lot. 1234 01:08:52,929 --> 01:08:55,799 I'm so grateful that you've had him through this. 1235 01:08:55,832 --> 01:08:57,601 Yeah. 1236 01:08:57,634 --> 01:08:58,935 How about you? You dating anybody? 1237 01:08:58,968 --> 01:09:01,205 When would I do that? 1238 01:09:01,238 --> 01:09:03,707 Well, what about-- what's his name, Pete? 1239 01:09:03,740 --> 01:09:05,709 From-- the Homecoming guy? 1240 01:09:05,742 --> 01:09:07,577 Ew. He has little, baby corn teeth. 1241 01:09:07,611 --> 01:09:10,214 I loved his teeth. 1242 01:09:12,249 --> 01:09:16,085 How about you, David? How's the writing going? 1243 01:09:19,956 --> 01:09:21,591 It's great. 1244 01:09:21,625 --> 01:09:23,960 Yeah, did you turn in the ABC script? 1245 01:09:23,993 --> 01:09:25,295 Yeah. 1246 01:09:26,430 --> 01:09:28,498 That's good! 1247 01:09:28,532 --> 01:09:31,301 And how's Paul? 1248 01:09:31,335 --> 01:09:35,405 He's good. Thanks for asking. 1249 01:09:35,439 --> 01:09:37,674 ( PHONE VIBRATES ) 1250 01:09:37,707 --> 01:09:40,677 Ooh, it's Grandma. I'll be right back. 1251 01:09:43,247 --> 01:09:45,515 [NORMAN] Hey Ruth-Anne... 1252 01:09:45,549 --> 01:09:49,486 It's like, what the fuck? He still can't ask about Paul? 1253 01:09:49,519 --> 01:09:52,422 You've never asked about me or Rebeccah. 1254 01:09:52,456 --> 01:09:54,324 What, Alex? Yes, I have. 1255 01:09:54,358 --> 01:09:59,363 Other people are sad, too. 1256 01:09:59,396 --> 01:10:02,832 I know that. 1257 01:10:02,866 --> 01:10:05,902 Whatev-- 1258 01:10:05,935 --> 01:10:09,373 * Now that she's back in the atmosphere * 1259 01:10:09,406 --> 01:10:12,409 * I'm afraid that she might think of me as * 1260 01:10:12,442 --> 01:10:16,780 * Plain old Jane story about a man who is too afraid to fly * 1261 01:10:16,813 --> 01:10:18,682 * So he never did land 1262 01:10:18,715 --> 01:10:22,719 * Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet * 1263 01:10:22,752 --> 01:10:25,289 * Did you finally get a chance to dance * 1264 01:10:25,322 --> 01:10:30,594 * Along the light o day Head back to the Milky Way * 1265 01:10:30,627 --> 01:10:34,431 * Tell me did Venus blow your mind * 1266 01:11:13,937 --> 01:11:18,508 So, on a scale of one to, like, a fucking million... 1267 01:11:18,542 --> 01:11:21,611 how terrible is everyone on OKCupid? 1268 01:11:21,645 --> 01:11:22,912 What? 1269 01:11:22,946 --> 01:11:25,382 Like a fucking trillion, right? 1270 01:11:25,415 --> 01:11:27,317 Well, I mean, they're not that bad. We're on it. 1271 01:11:27,351 --> 01:11:29,553 Well, yeah, I mean we're great. We're fantastic people. 1272 01:11:29,586 --> 01:11:34,023 But like everyone else, fucking lunatics, right? 1273 01:11:35,692 --> 01:11:38,795 It might just be 'cause it's Sacramento. 1274 01:11:38,828 --> 01:11:40,797 I kind of like Sacramento. 1275 01:11:40,830 --> 01:11:41,998 Really? 1276 01:11:42,031 --> 01:11:43,467 Yeah. 1277 01:11:43,500 --> 01:11:44,701 I'm like, kind of drunk, I think. 1278 01:11:44,734 --> 01:11:45,935 Really? Yeah. 1279 01:11:45,969 --> 01:11:50,039 You know, I'm feeling good. 1280 01:11:50,073 --> 01:11:52,942 I'm not. 1281 01:11:52,976 --> 01:11:55,912 I mean, I guess I just thought that we were like eating. 1282 01:11:55,945 --> 01:11:57,681 When I said 9:00... 1283 01:11:57,714 --> 01:12:00,517 I just thought it was implied it was just drinks only. 1284 01:12:00,550 --> 01:12:03,987 You are just trying to make me black out. 1285 01:12:04,020 --> 01:12:06,956 What? No, I'm not, no. Aren't you? 1286 01:12:06,990 --> 01:12:08,392 I'm kidding. 1287 01:12:08,425 --> 01:12:10,427 Right. 1288 01:12:23,707 --> 01:12:25,509 So, we are we going? 1289 01:12:25,542 --> 01:12:27,611 Um... Next. 1290 01:12:27,644 --> 01:12:29,779 We could go watch a movie at my place. 1291 01:12:29,813 --> 01:12:31,715 I got Mirror, Mirror at the grocery store. 1292 01:12:31,748 --> 01:12:33,883 Oh, my fucking god. 1293 01:12:33,917 --> 01:12:35,018 That's just all they had. 1294 01:12:35,051 --> 01:12:37,053 That's all they had? 1295 01:12:39,088 --> 01:12:41,558 I'm gonna get a pen. Okay. 1296 01:12:56,506 --> 01:12:59,008 I really would love to watch a movie with you... 1297 01:12:59,042 --> 01:13:02,879 it's just, I have to be up at like 6:00... 1298 01:13:02,912 --> 01:13:04,481 to help my mom, that's not a line. 1299 01:13:04,514 --> 01:13:06,416 Your mom? Yeah, she's sick. 1300 01:13:06,450 --> 01:13:08,552 Oh. No, it's fine. 1301 01:13:08,585 --> 01:13:11,588 No, I'm sorry about that, it's not fine. 1302 01:13:11,621 --> 01:13:16,159 She just started hospice, so now is most definitely not fine. 1303 01:13:16,192 --> 01:13:19,796 But... it's fine. 1304 01:13:22,866 --> 01:13:24,434 Okay, I think I need to go to the bathroom. 1305 01:13:24,468 --> 01:13:26,169 Okay. 1306 01:13:26,202 --> 01:13:27,771 I'm really sorry, I feel like I'm being the weird one... 1307 01:13:27,804 --> 01:13:30,039 on this date, which I'm normally the normal one. 1308 01:13:30,073 --> 01:13:32,576 It's okay. On dates. 1309 01:13:32,609 --> 01:13:34,744 But I'll just be right back. 1310 01:13:56,065 --> 01:13:57,601 Fuck. 1311 01:14:32,536 --> 01:14:35,038 I'm back. Hey. 1312 01:14:35,071 --> 01:14:36,706 Are you okay? Yeah. 1313 01:14:36,740 --> 01:14:41,044 No, I just-- I was just-- 1314 01:14:41,077 --> 01:14:45,048 I threw up on my face. 1315 01:14:47,617 --> 01:14:48,918 NORMAN (OVER PHONE) Hey, it's Dad. 1316 01:14:48,952 --> 01:14:50,219 You must be still at the gym. 1317 01:14:50,253 --> 01:14:51,988 Maybe boxing or something. 1318 01:14:52,021 --> 01:14:55,024 Anyway, would you mind picking up some toilet paper... 1319 01:14:55,058 --> 01:14:56,760 and some laxatives? 1320 01:14:56,793 --> 01:14:59,529 Just make sure to get the suppository kind. 1321 01:14:59,563 --> 01:15:01,665 Okay? Thank you! 1322 01:15:01,698 --> 01:15:03,767 Fuck. 1323 01:15:08,304 --> 01:15:10,173 ( ENGINE STARTING ) 1324 01:15:10,206 --> 01:15:12,742 ANNOUNCER (OVER RADIO) Mm. You're listening to the lineup. 1325 01:15:12,776 --> 01:15:15,211 Urging you to love somebody tonight. 1326 01:15:15,244 --> 01:15:18,948 This next song is going out to Alan in Iraq. 1327 01:15:18,982 --> 01:15:21,317 Your fiance Trish loves you very much... 1328 01:15:21,350 --> 01:15:24,954 and thanks you for all that you do for your country. 1329 01:15:24,988 --> 01:15:29,092 Alan, here's "Drops of Jupiter". 1330 01:15:29,125 --> 01:15:31,661 Oh my fucking fuck! 1331 01:15:38,935 --> 01:15:40,737 Where is the medicine? 1332 01:15:40,770 --> 01:15:42,839 Toothpaste. 1333 01:15:42,872 --> 01:15:46,643 Medicine! 1334 01:15:46,676 --> 01:15:51,047 Okay, where are the fucking laxatives? 1335 01:15:53,282 --> 01:15:57,153 What the fuck? Aisle 5, medicine, health, wellness... 1336 01:15:57,186 --> 01:16:00,156 I literally need something that is all of these things. 1337 01:16:02,859 --> 01:16:05,762 Where the fuck is it? 1338 01:16:06,896 --> 01:16:09,198 Oh, my god, oh, my god. 1339 01:16:09,232 --> 01:16:11,868 Bunch of fucking bouncy balls in the medicine aisle... 1340 01:16:11,901 --> 01:16:14,270 but there's no fucking medicine. 1341 01:16:14,303 --> 01:16:17,941 Hello? Anyone? Am I in a ghost store? 1342 01:16:20,810 --> 01:16:25,081 Hi. I was just looking for your laxatives. 1343 01:16:25,114 --> 01:16:27,651 Not for me. Yeah, that'll be aisle 5. 1344 01:16:30,186 --> 01:16:32,388 Okay. Okay. 1345 01:16:32,421 --> 01:16:35,892 Go back to Aisle 5... with the fucking medicine... 1346 01:16:35,925 --> 01:16:37,994 and no laxatives. 1347 01:16:38,027 --> 01:16:41,765 That's what I'll do, I'll look at all the same shit... 1348 01:16:41,798 --> 01:16:42,999 I already looked at. 1349 01:16:43,032 --> 01:16:45,735 My god, I fucking hate this place. 1350 01:16:45,769 --> 01:16:48,972 I fucking hate this, aspirin, I fucking hate this... 1351 01:16:49,005 --> 01:16:52,208 fucking Robitussin, fucking Q-Tips. 1352 01:16:52,241 --> 01:16:54,878 What the fuck, this fucking lady? 1353 01:16:54,911 --> 01:16:59,182 Fucking-- oh, my god. 1354 01:17:01,818 --> 01:17:06,089 What the fuck? Where the fuck is it? 1355 01:17:06,122 --> 01:17:08,257 I'm a fucking good person. 1356 01:17:08,291 --> 01:17:11,360 I'm a fucking good person! Where are the laxatives? 1357 01:17:11,394 --> 01:17:13,997 I just fucking want to find the laxatives. 1358 01:17:14,030 --> 01:17:17,934 Where the fuck are the laxatives? 1359 01:17:23,206 --> 01:17:25,241 Are you okay? 1360 01:17:28,845 --> 01:17:34,718 Um... I was just looking for laxatives. 1361 01:17:36,419 --> 01:17:40,156 They're right here... in front of you. 1362 01:17:45,161 --> 01:17:46,996 Thank you. 1363 01:17:47,030 --> 01:17:49,665 Hope you feel better. 1364 01:18:00,343 --> 01:18:06,950 * What a friend we have in Jesus * 1365 01:18:06,983 --> 01:18:11,921 * All our sins and griefs to bear * 1366 01:18:13,289 --> 01:18:19,963 * What a privilege to carry 1367 01:18:19,996 --> 01:18:25,134 * Everything to God in prayer 1368 01:18:27,303 --> 01:18:33,777 * Oh what peace we often forfeit * 1369 01:18:33,810 --> 01:18:38,848 * Oh what needless pain we bear * 1370 01:18:38,882 --> 01:18:41,117 ( PHONE VIBRATES ) 1371 01:18:41,150 --> 01:18:47,757 * All because we do not carry 1372 01:18:47,791 --> 01:18:52,261 * Everything to God in prayer 1373 01:18:54,497 --> 01:19:01,137 * Have we trials and temptations * 1374 01:19:01,170 --> 01:19:05,909 * Is there trouble anywhere 1375 01:19:08,111 --> 01:19:14,550 * We should never be discouraged * 1376 01:19:14,583 --> 01:19:19,522 * Take it to the Lord in prayer * 1377 01:19:21,357 --> 01:19:26,529 * Can we find a friend so faithful * 1378 01:19:34,437 --> 01:19:37,974 Hey... you okay? 1379 01:19:40,109 --> 01:19:42,311 I didn't get the show, so-- 1380 01:19:42,345 --> 01:19:46,049 Oh... shoot, I'm sorry. 1381 01:19:46,082 --> 01:19:49,318 Yeah, this other guy got it. I found out on Twitter. 1382 01:19:49,352 --> 01:19:51,888 Oh, that's frustrating. 1383 01:19:55,925 --> 01:19:59,128 Mike Madrigan, he's like eleven. 1384 01:19:59,162 --> 01:20:02,398 An eleven-year-old. 1385 01:20:02,431 --> 01:20:07,370 Maybe you weren't supposed to get this job... 1386 01:20:07,403 --> 01:20:10,173 so that you could be here. 1387 01:20:10,206 --> 01:20:12,475 Everything happens for a reason. 1388 01:20:12,508 --> 01:20:14,543 Yeah, I don't believe that. 1389 01:20:24,453 --> 01:20:29,558 Listen, um... 1390 01:20:29,592 --> 01:20:34,363 if you wanna invite him to dinner sometime... 1391 01:20:34,397 --> 01:20:38,467 Him, who? That'd be-- 1392 01:20:38,501 --> 01:20:40,937 Paul. Paul? 1393 01:20:40,970 --> 01:20:43,406 Paul. We broke up. 1394 01:20:43,439 --> 01:20:45,909 So, you're too late. 1395 01:20:45,942 --> 01:20:48,577 I'm sor-- I didn't know you-- I didn't know you broke up. 1396 01:20:48,611 --> 01:20:53,582 Oh my god. Oh, my god! I just wanted to-- 1397 01:20:53,616 --> 01:20:57,153 We were together five years, and he can come to dinner now? 1398 01:20:57,186 --> 01:21:00,589 David, I just want-- What is this? What-- 1399 01:21:00,623 --> 01:21:04,160 You and I bought fucking diapers together for her today. 1400 01:21:04,193 --> 01:21:07,296 We sat with the hospice and picked up medicine together. 1401 01:21:07,330 --> 01:21:11,968 I've been fucking living with you in your house... 1402 01:21:12,001 --> 01:21:17,040 for 10 months... and it's been good-- 1403 01:21:17,073 --> 01:21:20,543 Because I keep thinking, "Oh, I like the way he's helping Mom". 1404 01:21:20,576 --> 01:21:22,912 Or "Maybe he's getting more accepting"... 1405 01:21:22,946 --> 01:21:24,447 but then it's like, you won't even come up to my apartment... 1406 01:21:24,480 --> 01:21:26,249 whenever we're in New York? 1407 01:21:26,282 --> 01:21:30,053 It's like this one little thing and you won't do it! 1408 01:21:30,086 --> 01:21:32,455 You won't! 1409 01:21:32,488 --> 01:21:36,092 I'm gonna be fucking 30-years-old! 1410 01:21:36,125 --> 01:21:39,262 And Mom's gonna be dead, and then what? 1411 01:21:39,295 --> 01:21:47,036 Um, are we gonna be closer then? Like, do I still come home? 1412 01:21:47,070 --> 01:21:50,373 Or, what? Because I want to! Of course, you come home. 1413 01:21:50,406 --> 01:21:57,146 I want to want to! But it's just... it's been ten years... 1414 01:21:57,180 --> 01:22:03,019 and I will not be nervous saying "he" or "boyfriend"... 1415 01:22:03,052 --> 01:22:05,521 around you anymore, because it fucking sucks! 1416 01:22:05,554 --> 01:22:08,391 It fucking sucks! 1417 01:22:08,424 --> 01:22:11,627 And I've had such a shitty, lonely year. 1418 01:22:11,660 --> 01:22:17,133 And I can't bother Mom with any of this... 1419 01:22:17,166 --> 01:22:19,102 and I can't talk to you about any of this. 1420 01:22:19,135 --> 01:22:20,636 So, what am I supposed to do? 1421 01:22:20,669 --> 01:22:22,438 I can't even talk to you about the fact that I'm gay. 1422 01:22:22,471 --> 01:22:25,108 Of course, you can talk to me. No, I can't. 1423 01:22:25,141 --> 01:22:30,546 About that, David, I've always said, I'm available any time... 1424 01:22:30,579 --> 01:22:34,017 you want to debate that. It's not a fucking debate! 1425 01:22:36,285 --> 01:22:38,354 It's not a fucking debate. 1426 01:22:49,165 --> 01:22:52,468 I'm sorry I keep cursing at church, but I feel a lot better. 1427 01:22:52,501 --> 01:22:54,237 I don't give a shit. 1428 01:22:56,772 --> 01:22:58,774 And I haven't been working out. 1429 01:22:58,807 --> 01:23:00,443 I went to the gym once... 1430 01:23:00,476 --> 01:23:03,112 and I just sat in my car and read US Weekly. 1431 01:23:08,784 --> 01:23:11,620 Anything else you want to talk about? 1432 01:23:14,090 --> 01:23:18,694 When Mom dies, Paul's coming. 1433 01:23:18,727 --> 01:23:22,365 I want him here, so Paul's coming. 1434 01:23:36,312 --> 01:23:39,148 Hi, Joanne! Can you see me? 1435 01:23:39,182 --> 01:23:40,216 Hi. We can see you, hi! 1436 01:23:40,249 --> 01:23:41,650 Can you see me, guys? 1437 01:23:41,684 --> 01:23:44,287 Yes, we can see you, Patti, just talk! 1438 01:23:44,320 --> 01:23:45,521 Can you see me? 1439 01:23:45,554 --> 01:23:47,156 Yes, just talk. Just say anything. 1440 01:23:47,190 --> 01:23:48,591 What's wrong? Other than, can you see me. 1441 01:23:48,624 --> 01:23:51,394 Can you see me, all of you? Mm-hm. 1442 01:23:51,427 --> 01:23:54,197 Oh, Joanne, look at you! You look beautiful! 1443 01:23:54,230 --> 01:23:56,199 Thank you. 1444 01:23:56,232 --> 01:23:59,335 Joanne, Fletcher's here! Steve-- that's funny. 1445 01:23:59,368 --> 01:24:01,470 Love those. Joanne, I forgot to tell you! 1446 01:24:01,504 --> 01:24:03,472 I'm glad that I didn't heal you with that wand. 1447 01:24:03,506 --> 01:24:06,575 That pastor's in prison now, computer scam or something. 1448 01:24:06,609 --> 01:24:08,444 I don't want to hog this... 1449 01:24:08,477 --> 01:24:09,745 because everyone's been wanti'' to say hi to you. 1450 01:24:09,778 --> 01:24:11,314 Hi, Joanne! 1451 01:24:11,347 --> 01:24:12,681 Hey! Bride, the blushing bride! 1452 01:24:12,715 --> 01:24:14,283 Hi! You look so pretty. 1453 01:24:14,317 --> 01:24:15,751 Wait, what was that? 1454 01:24:15,784 --> 01:24:18,287 Joanne said you look so pretty. You look so pretty. 1455 01:24:18,321 --> 01:24:20,789 Joanne wants you to know how gorgeous you look. 1456 01:24:20,823 --> 01:24:23,492 Oh, thank you, thank you, so do you! 1457 01:24:23,526 --> 01:24:25,361 I dressed up for your wedding. 1458 01:24:25,394 --> 01:24:27,496 She's all dressed up. She's got her party dress on. 1459 01:24:27,530 --> 01:24:29,332 Oh! 1460 01:24:29,365 --> 01:24:30,566 She's wearing that 70's dress from New Year's. 1461 01:24:30,599 --> 01:24:32,368 With the boots, remember the white boots? 1462 01:24:32,401 --> 01:24:34,670 She just wanted to get dressed up. 1463 01:24:34,703 --> 01:24:38,641 Oh! Hey! It's Lynne! Is that you? It is you! 1464 01:24:38,674 --> 01:24:41,277 Hi. Hi! It's Lynne! 1465 01:24:41,310 --> 01:24:43,212 I like your hair. What? 1466 01:24:43,246 --> 01:24:44,780 Joanne-- she likes your hair. She likes your hair. 1467 01:24:44,813 --> 01:24:46,782 Your hair, yes, it's short. 1468 01:24:46,815 --> 01:24:48,451 Your hair. Your hair. 1469 01:24:48,484 --> 01:24:50,119 What? Is this a movie? 1470 01:24:50,153 --> 01:24:51,454 What are we looking at? 1471 01:24:51,487 --> 01:24:52,888 Hi, Grandma and Grandpa. 1472 01:24:52,921 --> 01:24:54,357 Who's that? 1473 01:24:54,390 --> 01:24:56,159 That's Grandma and Grandpa. 1474 01:24:56,192 --> 01:24:59,162 Get in, so she can see. It's too many people. 1475 01:24:59,195 --> 01:25:01,664 Hi! Hi, Mom! 1476 01:25:01,697 --> 01:25:06,135 Oh, Becc, you look so beautiful. 1477 01:25:06,169 --> 01:25:08,771 She says you look so beautiful. 1478 01:25:08,804 --> 01:25:11,507 Thank you, Mom, you do, too. 1479 01:25:11,540 --> 01:25:13,676 I wore my New Year's dress. 1480 01:25:13,709 --> 01:25:15,711 Okay, Joanne, we gotta get seated. 1481 01:25:15,744 --> 01:25:17,846 I love you, Mom, I'll see you tomorrow. 1482 01:25:17,880 --> 01:25:20,549 I love you the whole world, Beccah. 1483 01:25:20,583 --> 01:25:22,418 Say bye! Bye! 1484 01:25:22,451 --> 01:25:23,886 Say goodbye, everybody! 1485 01:25:23,919 --> 01:25:25,821 Bye! Bye! Bye! 1486 01:25:25,854 --> 01:25:30,293 I love you! Miss you! 1487 01:25:30,326 --> 01:25:33,296 PASTOR (OVER TV) To have and to hold, from this day forward. 1488 01:25:33,329 --> 01:25:35,631 In sickness and in health. 1489 01:25:35,664 --> 01:25:38,401 So long as you both shall live? I do. 1490 01:25:38,434 --> 01:25:41,570 Then with the power vested in me, by the Lutheran Church... 1491 01:25:41,604 --> 01:25:43,439 and the state of Minnesota... 1492 01:25:43,472 --> 01:25:45,474 I pronounce you husband and wife. 1493 01:25:45,508 --> 01:25:47,643 So you may kiss the bride. 1494 01:25:47,676 --> 01:25:49,678 ( CROWD APPLAUDS ) 1495 01:25:53,516 --> 01:25:56,685 ( SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ) 1496 01:25:58,487 --> 01:26:00,489 It's really nice out. 1497 01:26:00,523 --> 01:26:03,726 I might just sit down just for like a minute. 1498 01:26:03,759 --> 01:26:05,428 Yeah. 1499 01:26:33,589 --> 01:26:35,358 ( LOUD BANG ) 1500 01:26:38,527 --> 01:26:40,229 ( GROANS ) Mom? 1501 01:26:42,365 --> 01:26:47,636 You're okay. It's okay, you're okay. 1502 01:26:47,670 --> 01:26:49,272 Help me up-- 1503 01:26:49,305 --> 01:26:53,642 Use my arm. David, I was trying to... 1504 01:26:53,676 --> 01:26:56,745 It's okay, it's okay. It's okay, it's okay. 1505 01:26:58,747 --> 01:27:02,485 You're okay. You're okay. 1506 01:27:02,518 --> 01:27:04,920 That scared me. 1507 01:27:07,890 --> 01:27:12,561 You're okay. I feel so embarrassed. 1508 01:27:12,595 --> 01:27:15,398 It happens. 1509 01:27:17,333 --> 01:27:20,869 I'm embarrassed. Don't be. 1510 01:27:22,771 --> 01:27:27,710 Oh, David, at the wedding, they saw me-- 1511 01:27:27,743 --> 01:27:31,880 They saw me and they felt bad for me, I got so confused. 1512 01:27:34,350 --> 01:27:37,686 I don't want to do this anymore. 1513 01:27:37,720 --> 01:27:41,990 I hate that this is happening to you. 1514 01:27:45,060 --> 01:27:51,900 I'm tired. I don't want you to think I'm giving up. 1515 01:27:51,934 --> 01:27:56,405 No, if it's time for you to rest, we want you to rest. 1516 01:27:56,439 --> 01:28:02,611 I tried so hard. I know, you did. 1517 01:28:08,851 --> 01:28:11,854 Thank you for coming here. So nice of you to come here. 1518 01:28:11,887 --> 01:28:14,089 I know it's hard for you. 1519 01:28:14,122 --> 01:28:17,726 I really appreciate it. 1520 01:28:21,063 --> 01:28:24,467 Paul and I broke up. 1521 01:28:24,500 --> 01:28:26,835 I know. 1522 01:28:31,940 --> 01:28:34,877 It's okay. 1523 01:28:34,910 --> 01:28:42,017 And I didn't get that job, but I promise I'm gonna be okay. 1524 01:28:42,050 --> 01:28:43,586 You don't have to worry about me. 1525 01:28:43,619 --> 01:28:45,488 I don't worry. 1526 01:28:45,521 --> 01:28:48,090 There's something else that I'm working on... 1527 01:28:48,123 --> 01:28:53,496 and I know my apartment is small, but I'll be okay. 1528 01:28:53,529 --> 01:28:55,764 No, yeah. 1529 01:28:55,798 --> 01:28:58,834 Just see your sisters. 1530 01:28:58,867 --> 01:29:02,738 What? 1531 01:29:02,771 --> 01:29:08,477 I used to be so scared you'd all forget about me. 1532 01:29:08,511 --> 01:29:11,079 But I walked by the pictures of the three of you... 1533 01:29:11,113 --> 01:29:15,017 and I see me in each of you. 1534 01:29:15,050 --> 01:29:17,420 So I know that you won't forget about me... 1535 01:29:17,453 --> 01:29:20,989 because I'm right there in all your faces. 1536 01:29:21,023 --> 01:29:23,526 We could never forget about you. 1537 01:29:24,627 --> 01:29:27,830 That's nice. 1538 01:29:27,863 --> 01:29:31,099 When you miss me and you want to see me... 1539 01:29:31,133 --> 01:29:34,737 you just come home and see your sisters. 1540 01:29:34,770 --> 01:29:36,639 You gotta be good to them, David. 1541 01:29:36,672 --> 01:29:40,943 Take care of them. Be a good big brother, okay? 1542 01:29:40,976 --> 01:29:42,911 They're your sisters. 1543 01:29:45,748 --> 01:29:47,716 I promise, I will, I'm sorry. 1544 01:29:47,750 --> 01:29:50,185 Nothing else matters. 1545 01:29:50,218 --> 01:29:52,955 I will, I promise. See your sisters. 1546 01:29:52,988 --> 01:29:54,990 It's very important. I promise, I will. 1547 01:29:55,023 --> 01:29:57,092 Nothing else matters. 1548 01:29:57,125 --> 01:29:59,928 I promise. 1549 01:29:59,962 --> 01:30:01,664 You have such a big heart. 1550 01:30:01,697 --> 01:30:03,532 I love you. 1551 01:30:03,566 --> 01:30:07,035 Take care of them, okay? Because they're your little sisters. 1552 01:30:07,069 --> 01:30:11,006 I will, I promise, I promise. 1553 01:30:11,039 --> 01:30:13,976 ( WEEPING ) 1554 01:30:19,848 --> 01:30:23,819 [NORMAN] Oh, she's gone. She's gone. 1555 01:30:23,852 --> 01:30:27,656 We love you. 1556 01:30:27,690 --> 01:30:30,593 We love you so much. 1557 01:30:32,094 --> 01:30:35,130 I love you. I love you. 1558 01:30:46,842 --> 01:30:48,911 ( PHONE RINGING ) 1559 01:30:55,851 --> 01:30:58,754 ( WIND BLOWING ) 1560 01:31:41,263 --> 01:31:43,599 ( GURNEY RATTLING ) 1561 01:32:04,252 --> 01:32:07,890 ( MUSIC PLAYING ) 1562 01:32:16,031 --> 01:32:19,001 * Now that she's back in the atmosphere * 1563 01:32:19,034 --> 01:32:24,272 * With drops of Jupiter in her hair hey hey * 1564 01:32:28,043 --> 01:32:31,213 * She acts like summer and walks like rain * 1565 01:32:31,246 --> 01:32:35,651 * Reminds me that there's a time to change yeah yeah * 1566 01:32:39,988 --> 01:32:42,958 * Since the return of her stay on the moon * 1567 01:32:42,991 --> 01:32:47,262 * She listens like spring and she talks like June hey hey * 1568 01:32:52,267 --> 01:32:56,338 * Tell me did you sail across the sun * 1569 01:32:56,371 --> 01:32:58,974 * Did you make it to the Milky Way * 1570 01:32:59,007 --> 01:33:01,644 * To see the lights are faded 1571 01:33:01,677 --> 01:33:04,680 * And that heaven is overrated * 1572 01:33:04,713 --> 01:33:08,250 * Tell me did you fall for a shooting star * 1573 01:33:08,283 --> 01:33:10,686 * One without a permanent scar * 1574 01:33:10,719 --> 01:33:12,621 * And did you miss me 1575 01:33:12,655 --> 01:33:16,659 * While you were looking for yourself out there * 1576 01:33:28,203 --> 01:33:31,373 * Now that she's back from that soul vacation * 1577 01:33:31,406 --> 01:33:35,911 * Tracing her way through the constellation hey hey * 1578 01:33:40,115 --> 01:33:43,285 * She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo * 1579 01:33:43,318 --> 01:33:47,756 * Reminds me that there's room to grow hey hey * 1580 01:33:52,294 --> 01:33:55,197 * Now that she's back in the atmosphere * 1581 01:33:55,230 --> 01:33:59,868 * I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ol' Jane * 1582 01:33:59,902 --> 01:34:02,871 * Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly * 1583 01:34:02,905 --> 01:34:04,807 * So he never did land 1584 01:34:04,840 --> 01:34:08,811 * Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet * 1585 01:34:08,844 --> 01:34:10,378 * Did you finally get the chance * 1586 01:34:10,412 --> 01:34:13,949 * To dance along the light of day * 1587 01:34:13,982 --> 01:34:16,685 * And head back to the Milky Way * 1588 01:34:16,719 --> 01:34:20,756 * And tell me did Venus blow your mind * 1589 01:34:20,789 --> 01:34:22,858 * Was it everything you wanted to find * 1590 01:34:22,891 --> 01:34:24,827 * And did you miss me 1591 01:34:24,860 --> 01:34:29,798 * While you were looking for yourself out there * 1592 01:34:39,407 --> 01:34:43,445 * Can you imagine no love pride deep-fried chicken * 1593 01:34:43,478 --> 01:34:48,784 * Your best friend always sticking up for you * 1594 01:34:48,817 --> 01:34:51,820 * Even when I know you're wrong * 1595 01:34:51,854 --> 01:34:55,858 * Can you imagine no first dance freeze dried romance * 1596 01:34:55,891 --> 01:34:58,426 * Five-hour phone conversation * 1597 01:34:58,460 --> 01:35:02,898 * The best soy latte that you ever had and me * 1598 01:35:04,867 --> 01:35:08,937 * Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet * 1599 01:35:08,971 --> 01:35:11,339 * Did you finally get the chance to dance * 1600 01:35:11,373 --> 01:35:14,176 * Along the light o day 1601 01:35:14,209 --> 01:35:16,879 * And head back toward the Milky Way * 1602 01:35:16,912 --> 01:35:20,883 * Tell me did you sail across the sun * 1603 01:35:20,916 --> 01:35:23,251 * Did you make it to the Milky Way * 1604 01:35:23,285 --> 01:35:28,824 * To see the lights all faded And that heaven is overrated * 1605 01:35:28,857 --> 01:35:32,995 * Tell me did you fall from a shooting star * 1606 01:35:33,028 --> 01:35:35,363 * One without a permanent scar * 1607 01:35:35,397 --> 01:35:37,132 * And did you miss me 1608 01:35:37,165 --> 01:35:40,468 * While you were looking for yourself * 1609 01:35:47,976 --> 01:35:50,312 * And did you finally get the chance to dance * 1610 01:35:50,345 --> 01:35:53,081 * Along the light o day 1611 01:35:58,453 --> 01:36:02,024 * And did you fall for a shooting star * 1612 01:36:02,057 --> 01:36:05,894 * Fall for a shooting star 1613 01:36:10,365 --> 01:36:15,270 * And now you're only looking for yourself out there * 113995

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