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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,426 Starring tonight, 2 00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:33,091 Geraldine Page, 3 00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:34,794 Broderick Crawford, 4 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,461 Barbara Steele, 5 00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,199 Richard Thomas, 6 00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:39,706 Cloris Leachman, 7 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,071 Michael Dunn, 8 00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:42,404 and Lana Wood. 9 00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:51,316 Good evening. 10 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,620 I'm your tour guide through this unusual salon 11 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:57,556 of unusual statuary and paintings. 12 00:00:57,991 --> 00:01:00,586 These are the sort of things that may not please you 13 00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:02,823 but very likely may chill you. 14 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,628 Because this is the Night Gallery. 15 00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:14,640 Now, this one here, unabashed and unashamed, 16 00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,609 I submit to you, was a dandy. 17 00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:19,552 It delves into an ancient funeral rite having 18 00:01:19,576 --> 00:01:21,878 to do with a personage called a sin-eater, 19 00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:25,984 one who attends a wake and partakes of the funeral food. 20 00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:30,249 And in the process, digests all the transgressions of the deceased 21 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:34,684 so that he departs the earth a much cleaner and sweeter little item, 22 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,230 proving that we've become a bit more sophisticated 23 00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:38,959 in our tribal rites, 24 00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:43,060 but we are much the poorer for our 20th century chromium intellect. 25 00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:44,962 You might agree with me 26 00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:48,065 after you've seen Sins of the Fathers. 27 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,365 He can't come. 28 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,969 He's too busy. And Tregarron's too busy. 29 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,511 And the man from Conway? 30 00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:33,444 He's dead himself. 31 00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:36,540 What with the plague and now with the famine, 32 00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,650 there's not another one to be had. 33 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,689 There's Dylan Evans. 34 00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:44,590 That's right. There's Dylan Evans. 35 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:49,359 Lives in that hut on the north side of Plynlimon. 36 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,124 Ride. Offer him anything. 37 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,066 Who is it? 38 00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,304 I work for Mrs. Craighill. 39 00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:12,971 She needs your husband. 40 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,782 You can go back again. He can't come. 41 00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,117 He's sick. 42 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,748 He must come. 43 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:25,156 I've been looking for three days and I can't find anyone else. 44 00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:28,087 Why don't you get the man from Conway? 45 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,588 He's dead, too. He died yesterday. 46 00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,032 I didn't know. 47 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,500 Of course you didn't know. You live way off alone. 48 00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:41,874 Yes. We live way off alone. 49 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:45,174 Yes, but not from choice. You make us. 50 00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,544 When you need our men, you come running. 51 00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:52,177 After they've done what you want, you cast them off, 52 00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:53,777 pariahs, 53 00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:56,156 until you need them again. 54 00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,851 We pay, don't we? 55 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:01,524 And there's fine food, a banquet every time. 56 00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:05,923 Well, he can't come. He's sick. 57 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,297 How sick is your man? 58 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,267 There's no one else. 59 00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,070 My master has been dead for three days 60 00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:16,905 and he must be buried tomorrow. 61 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:19,071 Is your man so very sick? 62 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:24,742 He is. We have not eaten for a week. 63 00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:27,380 First he was sick with the plague 64 00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,685 and now he's sick with the famine. 65 00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:32,316 Then let him come. 66 00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:34,626 There's roast lamb 67 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,257 and boiled eggs 68 00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:40,265 and raw onions sliced across 69 00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:43,166 and thick slices of bacon, 70 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:47,697 fresh baked bread heavy with butter, 71 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,069 all there waiting for him. 72 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,245 Great wedges of cake. 73 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:58,075 And whole slabs of white cheese. 74 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:09,594 You're sure there's nobody else you can get? 75 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:12,462 No, they're all sick or dead themselves 76 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,567 or busy with the dead. 77 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,767 Where are you from? 78 00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:18,168 Cadno. It's not very far. 79 00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:19,998 Well, how do you know what's too far? 80 00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:21,166 He's weak. 81 00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:26,509 If he comes, I say if, 82 00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:29,045 he rides your horse. 83 00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,985 A sin-eater ride my horse? 84 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:34,783 What is so terrible about a sin-eater? 85 00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:37,255 He gets you to God, doesn't he? 86 00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:40,921 Let's not quarrel. 87 00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:44,890 The corpse is waiting and the banquet is all laid out. 88 00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,091 Yes. 89 00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:47,666 Yes. 90 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:51,165 My man is supposed to eat your master's sins 91 00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:55,236 and your master goes innocent to glory. 92 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,104 What happens to my man? 93 00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:04,250 Eternal damnation for all the sins he has eaten, 94 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,752 for all the others down through the years. 95 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,625 Mrs. Evans, 96 00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:16,329 no one made your husband a sin-eater. 97 00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:18,125 Hunger made him. 98 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,966 Money made him. 99 00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:24,533 The money that you throw after him when he's finished, 100 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,538 and you drive him from your door. 101 00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:31,810 Yes, ma'am, and that's still the same. 102 00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,612 The corpse is piled with food 103 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,708 and there are three gold coins waiting to be thrown. 104 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,919 You'll let him ride your horse? 105 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,689 I'll let him ride my horse. 106 00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:50,196 And you'll let him ride your horse back? 107 00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:52,321 I'll let him ride it back. 108 00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:56,336 Now, Mrs. Evans, please tell him and have him make haste. 109 00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:00,003 I'll tell him. 110 00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:04,137 Both ways? He rides both ways? 111 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,044 Both ways. Both ways. 112 00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:25,625 Did your father hear? 113 00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:27,699 No, 114 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,132 but I heard. 115 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:34,732 Why have you been crying? 116 00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:42,109 My father is sick and moaning and all I think about is food. 117 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:50,580 Don't worry, you're going to eat. 118 00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:55,661 It's terrible to be hungry. 119 00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:59,792 You won't be hungry. Not after tonight. 120 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,733 And where will the food come from, Mother? 121 00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:06,071 Will it drop like manna from heaven? 122 00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,767 You heard the man. 123 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,367 You will go with him. You will eat. 124 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,448 Me? 125 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,354 No, I couldn't. 126 00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:26,019 I couldn't eat a dead man's sins. 127 00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:29,257 You're hungry. Food is food. 128 00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:33,229 But to eat from the chest of a dead man? 129 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,892 Mother, the food would choke me. 130 00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,563 Ian, there is the money. 131 00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:39,700 There are three pieces of gold. 132 00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:41,707 But I'd rather starve. 133 00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:43,240 And your father? 134 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,445 And your mother? 135 00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:47,605 You want them to starve? 136 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:52,209 No. But, Mother, to eat from the chest of a corpse? 137 00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,914 To take a man's sins and be damned for all eternity? 138 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,981 No, I won't. I can't do that. I won't. 139 00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:10,736 Ian, 140 00:11:11,704 --> 00:11:13,832 what if you don't eat? 141 00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:17,040 To take the dead man's sins, 142 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:20,308 you must eat the food on the corpse. 143 00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:23,583 But what if you don't eat? 144 00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:26,444 What if you bring the food away? 145 00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:31,850 Not eat? 146 00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:32,925 No. 147 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,123 No, not there. 148 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,688 Not one crumb. 149 00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:39,131 Not a crumb. 150 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:45,537 But everybody stands around. Everyone watches. 151 00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:48,632 Yes, but you'll send them out, Ian. 152 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:55,473 You'll tell them that you can only eat sin in solitude. 153 00:11:56,382 --> 00:12:00,786 And then they go out. And then you make the sounds. 154 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:05,516 You scream and you cry out 155 00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:07,616 so they can hear. 156 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:12,490 But what are the words, Mother? I don't know the words to say. 157 00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:17,197 It's 12 miles. Twelve mountain miles. 158 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:18,666 He's coming. 159 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,134 He has to get dressed. 160 00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:26,039 Ian, you've heard your father. 161 00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:28,877 First he says the sin-eater's prayer. 162 00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:30,143 I don't know it. 163 00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:32,048 Oh, you do. I don't. 164 00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:35,481 Ian, you cry out, "To God Almighty, 165 00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:38,889 "give me this man's sins. 166 00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:41,692 "Let me be damned forever." 167 00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:45,155 I can't say that, Mother. I won't. 168 00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:49,024 Well, then just mumble it. 169 00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,795 You've heard your father. 170 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,806 First it's the prayer, 171 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,510 then he hisses 172 00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:01,374 and he mutters 173 00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:06,383 and he takes pauses while he gobbles the food. 174 00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:10,153 And then he cries out to God again. 175 00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:12,684 But what are the words? 176 00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,557 Mother, I've no ear for the words. 177 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:18,189 The words are easy. You just keep begging heaven. 178 00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:21,464 You beg heaven to let the dead man's sins 179 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,468 flow from him into you. 180 00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:29,667 Just imitate your father. 181 00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:30,742 But, Mother... 182 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:35,476 Mother, I can imitate a fox calling to a vixen 183 00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:38,643 and she calling back. I can imitate an owl but... 184 00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:41,711 Don't carry on. Mother... Mother... Mother... 185 00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:43,518 Mother, a nighthawk I can imitate. 186 00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:45,455 And rabbits I can make come to me, 187 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,221 but words, I can't... 188 00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:49,785 You just have to keep begging heaven, 189 00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:54,328 louder and louder and faster so heaven will heed and hear. 190 00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,035 Well... 191 00:13:58,304 --> 00:14:00,637 When do I shriek? 192 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:04,540 You take time. Take time with the begging. 193 00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:10,345 And then when the sin enters you, you scream out with horror. 194 00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:16,947 And then you run, whimpering from the house. 195 00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:20,418 But don't forget to pick up the money. 196 00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:25,857 And I won't have to eat his sins? 197 00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:27,958 No, Ian, no. 198 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,670 And you bring back roast lamb. 199 00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:40,746 But I'll have to stay alone with a dead man. 200 00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:43,248 Thick slices of bacon, 201 00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:49,312 wedges of cake with raisins and nuts, 202 00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,388 butter on the cake. 203 00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:55,219 And I bring it all home? 204 00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:56,592 Yes. 205 00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:04,269 For you? 206 00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:08,473 No. 207 00:15:09,942 --> 00:15:12,502 I shan't touch one crumb. 208 00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:14,704 Not a crumb. 209 00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:18,210 For father? 210 00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:19,618 No. 211 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,911 Not for your father. 212 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,549 You shall eat it all. 213 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,720 And in this house. 214 00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:48,237 What is this you have brought me? 215 00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:50,539 This is no sin-eater. 216 00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:52,443 This is a boy. 217 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,443 He can eat as well as another. 218 00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:58,014 Perhaps better. 219 00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:02,084 A boy is young and strong to bear the burdens of sin. 220 00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,010 Do you call this strong? 221 00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:28,314 Look how thin he is. 222 00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,614 As for young... 223 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:37,714 Is this poor child to take on the evil of a grown man's entire existence? 224 00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:41,458 He's still a sin-eater. Let him eat. 225 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:48,064 Have I not ridden every night for three days and three nights? 226 00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:51,662 And all the time, I walked beside the horse while he rode. 227 00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:55,605 And half the time I had to support him so he wouldn't tumble off. 228 00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:57,774 He's weak. 229 00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:00,612 There's no other. 230 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,275 I'm hungry. 231 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,596 Shall we not begin? 232 00:18:58,304 --> 00:18:59,772 Start, boy. 233 00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:02,698 If you're a sin-eater, you know the words. 234 00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:12,146 You must know the words of the sin-eater's prayer. 235 00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:20,456 He's a fraud. Throw him out. 236 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,591 He didn't say the prayer. 237 00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,292 He's not a fraud. He'll say the prayer. 238 00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:28,698 And he'll eat. 239 00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:33,868 Do you want my husband to go to hell, child? 240 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,300 Eat, child, eat. 241 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,607 Eat. Eat, child. 242 00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:44,647 Eat. 243 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:46,781 Eat. 244 00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:51,382 Not one scrap. Not one crumb. 245 00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:59,363 No, no, no, you must all go. 246 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:02,794 You must all go. 247 00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:05,496 I am one that eats alone. 248 00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:10,134 Oh, no, lad. The sin-eater eats before the witnesses. 249 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,303 Witnesses must be present. 250 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:15,780 Witnesses must witness when the sin passes. 251 00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:17,476 But you'll hear it. 252 00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:22,277 I swear you'll hear the shriek when the sin passes into me. 253 00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:27,193 He will do it, I tell you. He's the only one to be found. 254 00:20:27,259 --> 00:20:29,251 Quiet, quiet. 255 00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:35,763 Yes, lad, yes. 256 00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:38,870 If you are one that eats alone, 257 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,271 then God's will be done. 258 00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:48,273 We'll stand in the next room. 259 00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:51,783 We shall hear when the sin passes. 260 00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:54,681 When we hear the terrible wailing, 261 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,349 and we hear the shriek of mortal terror, 262 00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,915 we shall know that the sin has passed. 263 00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:05,514 God Almighty. 264 00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,969 Let the sins of this corpse flow into my body. 265 00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:33,210 Let the sins of this man flow into my body. 266 00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:18,678 Did you bring the food? 267 00:26:23,015 --> 00:26:24,381 Is that all of it? 268 00:26:25,284 --> 00:26:26,343 That's all of it. 269 00:26:27,453 --> 00:26:29,945 Not one morsel, not one crumb did I eat. 270 00:26:30,856 --> 00:26:34,623 Well, son, now you will eat. 271 00:26:43,669 --> 00:26:45,137 Wait. Where are you taking it? 272 00:26:45,204 --> 00:26:47,002 No. It's mine. You promised. 273 00:26:48,774 --> 00:26:50,834 Oh, no, you're not giving it all to him? 274 00:26:54,646 --> 00:26:56,308 You will have all of it. 275 00:26:57,483 --> 00:26:59,076 All of it. 276 00:27:19,204 --> 00:27:20,797 Now you can eat. 277 00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:45,456 Ian. 278 00:27:46,899 --> 00:27:47,899 Ian. 279 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,393 Ian, think of your father. 280 00:27:52,704 --> 00:27:54,070 He's your father. 281 00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:58,269 He's not a simple farmer, 282 00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:00,612 with simple sins. 283 00:28:01,313 --> 00:28:03,339 He's your father. 284 00:28:04,483 --> 00:28:05,974 Think of your father. 285 00:28:06,051 --> 00:28:07,051 No. 286 00:28:07,419 --> 00:28:10,446 No, to eat the sins of the sin-eater... 287 00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:13,117 Yes, you have to. 288 00:28:14,626 --> 00:28:17,562 Think of all the sins of the sin-eater. 289 00:28:18,263 --> 00:28:20,357 Sin upon sin, 290 00:28:20,933 --> 00:28:22,595 year after year, 291 00:28:23,602 --> 00:28:25,332 hundreds of sins 292 00:28:26,038 --> 00:28:28,064 from hundreds of men. 293 00:28:28,373 --> 00:28:29,373 Ian. 294 00:28:30,175 --> 00:28:33,907 Ian someone has to take on the sins of the sin-eater. 295 00:28:33,979 --> 00:28:35,538 He's your father. 296 00:28:41,853 --> 00:28:45,654 Are you going to let your father die with all those sins unrepented 297 00:28:46,692 --> 00:28:50,129 unshriven, unforgiven? 298 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,000 Ian. 299 00:28:58,203 --> 00:29:00,763 Ian, smell the bacon? 300 00:29:03,175 --> 00:29:04,302 See. 301 00:29:05,611 --> 00:29:07,910 See how white the cheese. 302 00:29:10,882 --> 00:29:13,852 Even though they're crushed, see the golden yolks? 303 00:29:15,487 --> 00:29:17,183 Ian, don't worry. 304 00:29:18,724 --> 00:29:20,556 You'll have a son. 305 00:29:26,732 --> 00:29:27,732 Oh, God! 306 00:29:31,570 --> 00:29:34,540 Oh, God Almighty! 307 00:29:35,641 --> 00:29:41,080 Give me this man's sins and let me be damned forever. 308 00:30:07,005 --> 00:30:11,568 Offered to you now, an item having to do with labor and management. 309 00:30:11,843 --> 00:30:13,402 An employment office, 310 00:30:13,679 --> 00:30:17,343 where is offered a collection of potential employees, 311 00:30:17,416 --> 00:30:19,282 whose skills are unique. 312 00:30:19,351 --> 00:30:22,844 For in addition to their loyalty, industriousness, 313 00:30:22,921 --> 00:30:26,221 punctuality and impeccable cleanliness, 314 00:30:26,291 --> 00:30:31,594 they also run at least 100,000 miles without a lube and an oil change. 315 00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:33,723 It's no wonder we call this one 316 00:30:33,799 --> 00:30:36,325 You Can't Get Help Like That Anymore. 317 00:31:30,155 --> 00:31:32,386 This is our domestic help section. 318 00:31:32,457 --> 00:31:34,983 Butlers, cooks, maids, everything for the home. 319 00:31:35,627 --> 00:31:37,323 They look so incredibly real. 320 00:31:37,396 --> 00:31:39,024 Well, they are real, Mrs. Foster. 321 00:31:39,097 --> 00:31:40,725 They're just as real as you and I. 322 00:31:43,001 --> 00:31:46,062 And they think? They actually think? 323 00:31:46,705 --> 00:31:50,164 They think in the sense that there are thought areas 324 00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:52,802 into which they have been fed computerized data 325 00:31:52,878 --> 00:31:55,143 that enable them to make decisions. 326 00:31:55,313 --> 00:31:56,645 For instance, 327 00:31:57,482 --> 00:31:58,973 this model here. 328 00:31:59,351 --> 00:32:02,287 This is our Production Model 706. Housemaid. 329 00:32:02,354 --> 00:32:05,381 Now she can decide 330 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:08,870 when's the proper time to change the sheets and pillow cases, for instance, 331 00:32:08,894 --> 00:32:10,886 or wax the floor. Things like that. 332 00:32:10,962 --> 00:32:14,364 That is the extent of her thought process, if you will. 333 00:32:14,966 --> 00:32:18,903 Here's a new model we're just developing. 334 00:32:18,970 --> 00:32:21,838 This is our Production Model 738. Chauffeur. 335 00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:24,466 You mean he actually drives? 336 00:32:24,643 --> 00:32:26,009 He does indeed. 337 00:32:26,077 --> 00:32:28,205 With consummate skill. Par excellence. 338 00:32:28,647 --> 00:32:29,979 Well, that's incredible. 339 00:32:30,048 --> 00:32:31,048 Seems so, doesn't it? 340 00:32:31,583 --> 00:32:33,779 You should see the more expensive model of this chap. 341 00:32:33,852 --> 00:32:36,981 Not only drives, but makes major automotive repairs 342 00:32:37,055 --> 00:32:39,820 and better than you could get done at any garage. 343 00:32:43,061 --> 00:32:44,188 Hample here. 344 00:32:44,262 --> 00:32:46,582 You're wanted in the complaint department, Mr. Hample. 345 00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:48,327 I'll be there directly. 346 00:32:48,867 --> 00:32:50,597 If you'll excuse me... 347 00:32:50,669 --> 00:32:53,332 Why don't you come on into our hospitality room 348 00:32:53,405 --> 00:32:55,616 and look at the brochures and I'll be with you in a minute, huh? 349 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,131 Complaint department? 350 00:32:57,609 --> 00:33:00,044 You got that. Well... 351 00:33:00,345 --> 00:33:02,644 Complaint is just kind of a catch-all phrase. 352 00:33:02,714 --> 00:33:04,444 Not even complaints, really. Just... 353 00:33:04,516 --> 00:33:08,112 Usually just slight modifications required. 354 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:12,582 You know, statistically we have fewer than 2% returns. 355 00:33:12,657 --> 00:33:16,253 And 99% of the adjustments are of a minor nature, believe me. 356 00:33:22,934 --> 00:33:24,178 Good afternoon, Mr. Hample. 357 00:33:24,202 --> 00:33:25,500 Good afternoon, Miss Sherman. 358 00:33:25,570 --> 00:33:27,038 This is Mr. and Mrs. Foster. 359 00:33:27,105 --> 00:33:29,836 They're interested in some of our domestic models. 360 00:33:29,908 --> 00:33:31,638 Very pleased to know you both. 361 00:33:31,710 --> 00:33:34,407 May I get you coffee? Or a drink? 362 00:33:34,679 --> 00:33:36,375 Coffee, please. Black. 363 00:33:36,781 --> 00:33:38,079 The same, please. 364 00:33:38,650 --> 00:33:40,516 Make yourselves comfortable. 365 00:33:53,765 --> 00:33:56,564 Our Production Model 473. 366 00:33:57,836 --> 00:33:59,202 You can just shut them off? 367 00:33:59,271 --> 00:34:01,172 At your pleasure and convenience. 368 00:34:01,239 --> 00:34:04,266 Or you can preset their functioning time. 369 00:34:04,342 --> 00:34:06,641 They can work 24 hours a day if you want them to. 370 00:34:06,711 --> 00:34:08,145 That's incredible. 371 00:34:09,514 --> 00:34:11,005 It's also a little scary. 372 00:34:11,082 --> 00:34:12,082 Scary? 373 00:34:14,519 --> 00:34:17,921 When they're working, they seem so real, so human. 374 00:34:18,456 --> 00:34:20,823 And when you turn them off, well, it's as if... 375 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:23,153 As if what, Mrs. Foster? 376 00:34:23,929 --> 00:34:25,830 It's as if you kill them. 377 00:34:29,668 --> 00:34:30,727 What is it? 378 00:34:30,802 --> 00:34:32,100 Complaints department, sir. 379 00:34:32,170 --> 00:34:34,482 There are some customers who are very anxious to speak with you. 380 00:34:34,506 --> 00:34:36,998 And Dr. Kessler has been trying to reach you, sir. 381 00:34:37,075 --> 00:34:38,600 I'll be right there. 382 00:34:50,622 --> 00:34:53,114 Miss Sherman will take care of you. 383 00:34:53,191 --> 00:34:54,523 I'll be right back. 384 00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:06,169 You wanted to see me, Kessler? 385 00:35:06,237 --> 00:35:07,705 When you have a moment, yes. 386 00:35:07,772 --> 00:35:10,217 Can it keep? I've got two people waiting for me with a complaint. 387 00:35:10,241 --> 00:35:12,801 You have a person here waiting for you with a complaint. 388 00:35:12,877 --> 00:35:14,505 Now, look at that. 389 00:35:17,215 --> 00:35:19,013 Good Lord. What caused this? 390 00:35:19,618 --> 00:35:21,052 What caused this 391 00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:25,856 is a psychopathic wrecking team called Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Fulton. 392 00:35:26,725 --> 00:35:28,887 Presently awaiting you with a whining complaint 393 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,429 that we build defective merchandise. 394 00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:35,464 Defective in this case meaning 395 00:35:35,533 --> 00:35:38,469 that we didn't build it out of concrete and armor plated steel. 396 00:35:38,536 --> 00:35:41,768 Now hold on, Kessler, this could very well have been caused by an accident. 397 00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:44,742 This could only have been caused by two neurotic sadists 398 00:35:44,809 --> 00:35:47,301 who find pure joy in the act of destruction. 399 00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:49,706 Yes? 400 00:35:49,781 --> 00:35:51,626 Mr. and Mrs. Fulton are still looking for you, sir. 401 00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:54,085 Later. I'm very busy here with Dr. Kessler. 402 00:35:55,987 --> 00:35:56,987 Look at it. 403 00:35:58,690 --> 00:36:00,784 All the major circuits torn out. 404 00:36:00,859 --> 00:36:03,590 All the limbs dismembered or fractured. 405 00:36:03,662 --> 00:36:05,460 The entire body pock-marked. 406 00:36:05,697 --> 00:36:07,222 Oh, there you are, Hample. 407 00:36:07,298 --> 00:36:08,542 I want to talk to you, not to any middlemen. 408 00:36:08,566 --> 00:36:09,677 Now let me tell you something. 409 00:36:09,701 --> 00:36:11,431 No. Let me tell him. 410 00:36:11,503 --> 00:36:13,301 We wanted a maid, right? 411 00:36:13,371 --> 00:36:15,499 Nothing special, nothing complicated. 412 00:36:15,573 --> 00:36:17,201 Just a maid. 413 00:36:17,275 --> 00:36:18,402 I understand. 414 00:36:18,476 --> 00:36:20,445 Who could wash a floor and make a bed. 415 00:36:20,512 --> 00:36:22,413 Nothing complicated at all. 416 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:23,914 And what do we get? 417 00:36:23,982 --> 00:36:28,420 Some skimpy, just jerry-built piece of trash 418 00:36:28,486 --> 00:36:30,580 that can't even make a bed and it broke down... 419 00:36:31,956 --> 00:36:34,824 Not broke down, Madam. Was broken down. 420 00:36:34,893 --> 00:36:36,953 Was tortured, abused, punished and wrecked! 421 00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:38,052 Please, Kessler. 422 00:36:38,129 --> 00:36:39,859 You want a maid, do you? 423 00:36:39,931 --> 00:36:42,410 Well, the only kind of maid we could develop for people like you 424 00:36:42,434 --> 00:36:44,369 would be a surplus tank with an apron on it. 425 00:36:44,436 --> 00:36:46,113 Now wait a minute, I want to tell you something. 426 00:36:46,137 --> 00:36:47,662 No, let me tell him. 427 00:36:47,739 --> 00:36:49,765 You're cheats. That's what you are. 428 00:36:49,841 --> 00:36:51,571 And we've a good mind to report you. 429 00:36:51,643 --> 00:36:54,203 $25,000 and for what? 430 00:36:54,279 --> 00:36:56,714 Why, the thing isn't even as strong as a human. 431 00:36:56,781 --> 00:36:58,875 What would you know about it? 432 00:36:59,984 --> 00:37:01,452 These things 433 00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:05,154 have more human qualities than you two have ever dreamt of. 434 00:37:05,724 --> 00:37:08,455 What did you ever kick, punch and abuse 435 00:37:08,526 --> 00:37:10,518 before we developed robots for you? 436 00:37:11,029 --> 00:37:12,759 Did you pull wings off of flies? 437 00:37:12,831 --> 00:37:14,356 Did you pour kerosene on cats? 438 00:37:14,432 --> 00:37:16,367 Enough. That's quite enough. 439 00:37:18,036 --> 00:37:21,302 I humbly apologize to you, Mrs. Fulton, Mr. Fulton. 440 00:37:21,372 --> 00:37:24,399 Please, I truly do. Now if you'll wait in the lobby, 441 00:37:24,476 --> 00:37:26,638 I'll arrange for a replacement maid. 442 00:37:26,711 --> 00:37:29,203 One of our newer models. You can pick it out yourself. 443 00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,272 You'll have it by mid-afternoon, I guarantee it. 444 00:37:31,349 --> 00:37:33,614 And I guarantee total satisfaction. 445 00:37:37,889 --> 00:37:40,518 You'll want an apology, I suppose. 446 00:37:41,426 --> 00:37:43,486 That would be a good preface. 447 00:37:43,561 --> 00:37:45,996 Followed logically by your resignation. 448 00:37:46,064 --> 00:37:49,000 Abuse? Is that what you said? 449 00:37:49,134 --> 00:37:52,161 Punish? Torture? Are those your words? 450 00:37:52,637 --> 00:37:53,900 Dr. Kessler, 451 00:37:54,839 --> 00:37:58,071 you're a very valuable man and a rare intelligence. 452 00:37:58,143 --> 00:37:59,907 I give you that up front. 453 00:37:59,978 --> 00:38:02,573 But I also give you this for a corollary. 454 00:38:02,947 --> 00:38:06,349 You certainly must recognize this is not a human being. 455 00:38:06,417 --> 00:38:10,286 This... This thing here is just a machine. 456 00:38:10,889 --> 00:38:12,585 They are not just machines. 457 00:38:12,657 --> 00:38:14,649 This is not just a machine? 458 00:38:17,829 --> 00:38:20,424 This isn't just flesh-colored plastic? 459 00:38:20,498 --> 00:38:23,866 These aren't just wires and computer circuits? 460 00:38:23,935 --> 00:38:27,599 This isn't just an inanimate, lifeless, synthetic... 461 00:38:34,612 --> 00:38:37,548 Right now, I think you'd better explain this to me, Kessler. 462 00:38:42,253 --> 00:38:44,347 It's a phenomenon I've just observed. 463 00:38:45,223 --> 00:38:48,193 These beings that we've created, 464 00:38:48,593 --> 00:38:50,619 they have developed certain dimensions, 465 00:38:51,129 --> 00:38:52,529 certain characteristics. 466 00:38:52,931 --> 00:38:54,661 I can't accept that. 467 00:38:54,732 --> 00:38:56,132 You'd better. 468 00:38:56,901 --> 00:38:58,893 And you'd better accept this, too. 469 00:38:59,604 --> 00:39:03,268 In the beginning, they only respond to what is programmed into them. 470 00:39:03,608 --> 00:39:04,608 And then? 471 00:39:04,676 --> 00:39:07,373 And then like the human infant, 472 00:39:07,912 --> 00:39:09,403 they begin to mature. 473 00:39:10,448 --> 00:39:12,610 They begin to develop emotional reactions. 474 00:39:13,051 --> 00:39:17,421 And the next step, and you'd best prepare for this, Mr. Hample, 475 00:39:17,488 --> 00:39:22,722 they begin to develop survival instincts and methods. 476 00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:25,660 And when that happens, 477 00:39:25,730 --> 00:39:27,255 it could, Mr. Hample, 478 00:39:27,332 --> 00:39:30,166 you'd best get on the telephone to people like the Fultons 479 00:39:30,501 --> 00:39:34,131 and tell them to take out their aggressions on the wall or a punching bag. 480 00:39:34,539 --> 00:39:37,441 Or something that won't hit back. 481 00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:52,007 So you're the maid? 482 00:40:52,350 --> 00:40:55,980 I'm Model Number 931, Mr. Fulton. I am here to serve you. 483 00:40:58,589 --> 00:41:00,524 Model 931. 484 00:41:02,226 --> 00:41:03,819 Let me tell you something. 485 00:41:04,329 --> 00:41:06,491 Whoever made you sure put it all together 486 00:41:06,564 --> 00:41:10,626 because you are one little charming hunk of a maid. Believe me. 487 00:41:11,402 --> 00:41:13,030 Thank you, Mr. Fulton. 488 00:41:14,906 --> 00:41:16,340 Don't forget this one. 489 00:41:19,344 --> 00:41:21,711 Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 490 00:41:22,413 --> 00:41:25,178 Can't you do anything else besides clean up a room? 491 00:41:25,249 --> 00:41:27,878 I'm programmed to take complete charge of a house. 492 00:41:27,952 --> 00:41:31,855 This includes all cleaning, answering telephones and other related duties. 493 00:41:32,357 --> 00:41:34,053 Well, I got news for you. 494 00:41:34,225 --> 00:41:36,592 If that's the sum total of your services, 495 00:41:37,095 --> 00:41:40,395 why did they give you such a beautiful face and body? 496 00:41:41,566 --> 00:41:42,829 I think... 497 00:41:44,135 --> 00:41:47,071 I think it's a gross deception, that's what I think. 498 00:41:47,572 --> 00:41:49,438 Because anybody that looks like you 499 00:41:49,507 --> 00:41:52,375 has gotta be able to do more than just clean up a room. 500 00:41:52,910 --> 00:41:56,142 Is that what you think, joy-boy? 501 00:42:02,020 --> 00:42:05,013 Then again, give this a thought, Joe. 502 00:42:06,391 --> 00:42:09,486 Maybe she's not just a maid. 503 00:42:10,028 --> 00:42:13,829 Maybe that's only a part of her function. 504 00:42:15,833 --> 00:42:18,701 Is it possible that they programmed 505 00:42:19,103 --> 00:42:21,368 a little slut into you? 506 00:42:21,539 --> 00:42:24,771 Oh, no, ma'am. My model number is that of a domestic. 507 00:42:25,009 --> 00:42:28,241 If you wanted a Robot-Aid whose functions were more complicated... 508 00:42:28,312 --> 00:42:31,282 That's bull, dearie. 509 00:42:42,126 --> 00:42:46,587 What I just did, did that tick you off? 510 00:42:53,371 --> 00:42:54,930 I asked you a question. 511 00:42:55,873 --> 00:43:00,004 Inside that maze of wires and expensive tubes, 512 00:43:00,078 --> 00:43:03,446 is there a little special battery 513 00:43:03,514 --> 00:43:07,645 that makes you want to break people's heads open? 514 00:43:07,785 --> 00:43:10,186 We do not possess the capacity for anger. 515 00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:13,057 Did you hear that, Joe? 516 00:43:13,624 --> 00:43:15,650 Why don't you let her clean up the mess? 517 00:43:15,726 --> 00:43:18,286 Because I'm fascinated 518 00:43:18,362 --> 00:43:23,426 with this pre-fabricated little wildflower who can get pinched, 519 00:43:24,902 --> 00:43:26,837 who can get stepped on, 520 00:43:29,907 --> 00:43:32,138 who can get knocked through a wall 521 00:43:32,710 --> 00:43:34,941 and the worst that can happen 522 00:43:35,012 --> 00:43:38,380 is that she'll light up and say, "Don't." 523 00:43:39,750 --> 00:43:41,446 Why don't you stop picking on her? 524 00:43:42,053 --> 00:43:45,512 I might ask the same question of you. 525 00:43:45,857 --> 00:43:50,227 You've got a thing about sophisticated machinery. 526 00:43:50,895 --> 00:43:55,697 Why don't you go out in the garage and pinch the power mower? 527 00:43:56,534 --> 00:43:57,695 Just a minute. 528 00:43:58,769 --> 00:44:00,101 I'm not finished. 529 00:44:03,774 --> 00:44:07,404 We don't employ you. 530 00:44:08,045 --> 00:44:10,105 We own you. 531 00:44:12,383 --> 00:44:13,749 Remember that. 532 00:44:19,624 --> 00:44:21,650 I own this furniture. 533 00:44:29,834 --> 00:44:31,632 I own these drapes. 534 00:44:35,273 --> 00:44:37,435 I own these pictures. 535 00:44:41,612 --> 00:44:43,945 I own this booze. 536 00:44:50,721 --> 00:44:53,054 And I own you. 537 00:44:59,564 --> 00:45:03,501 Now, if now and then, 538 00:45:03,568 --> 00:45:07,835 I get off my feed and irritable, 539 00:45:07,905 --> 00:45:11,637 I may have to take it out on you. 540 00:45:13,744 --> 00:45:16,179 I may have to remind you 541 00:45:17,181 --> 00:45:21,619 that you are just a vacuum cleaner 542 00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:24,079 with pretty legs. 543 00:45:27,291 --> 00:45:30,989 Your predecessor didn't work out so well. 544 00:45:31,696 --> 00:45:34,325 She couldn't hack it in the service. 545 00:45:47,612 --> 00:45:50,081 You want to register a complaint? 546 00:45:50,548 --> 00:45:52,141 I give you my permission. 547 00:45:54,452 --> 00:45:56,216 I also give you fair warning 548 00:45:56,854 --> 00:45:58,948 that I may let you have it with a lamp. 549 00:45:59,790 --> 00:46:02,282 I was only looking at you, Mrs. Fulton. 550 00:46:03,828 --> 00:46:04,828 Say again? 551 00:46:05,129 --> 00:46:08,395 I said I was only looking at you. You and your husband. 552 00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,065 You were only looking at us. 553 00:46:13,037 --> 00:46:14,699 All right, dearie. 554 00:46:16,007 --> 00:46:17,007 What do you see? 555 00:46:18,643 --> 00:46:21,772 I said, "What do you see?" 556 00:46:22,713 --> 00:46:25,945 Mrs. Fulton, I can't lie. 557 00:46:27,118 --> 00:46:28,381 No? 558 00:46:28,452 --> 00:46:30,751 I am programmed to tell the truth. 559 00:46:30,821 --> 00:46:32,915 So tell the truth. What do you see? 560 00:46:34,292 --> 00:46:37,490 I see a middle-aged woman, 561 00:46:37,561 --> 00:46:39,792 aging without grace. 562 00:46:39,864 --> 00:46:43,198 Aggressive, competitive, discontented, 563 00:46:43,934 --> 00:46:47,928 with an ugliness inside that can't be covered with cosmetics. 564 00:46:49,874 --> 00:46:50,933 And Mr. Fulton, 565 00:46:51,976 --> 00:46:54,445 crude, cruel, vulgar. 566 00:46:55,479 --> 00:46:58,313 Lusting for everything but loving nothing. 567 00:47:00,618 --> 00:47:04,055 Now shall I continue to clean up the room or what is your pleasure? 568 00:47:07,491 --> 00:47:13,362 My pleasure is to deactivate you for good. 569 00:47:13,431 --> 00:47:17,732 Mrs. Fulton, you pointed out that my predecessor was incapable of survival here. 570 00:47:17,802 --> 00:47:20,101 I must warn you, so long as I am activated, 571 00:47:20,171 --> 00:47:23,005 I shall defend myself against destruction. 572 00:47:23,107 --> 00:47:24,302 What's that? 573 00:47:24,375 --> 00:47:26,970 I shall not allow you to destroy me. 574 00:47:27,478 --> 00:47:29,071 You shall not allow us? 575 00:47:29,914 --> 00:47:33,282 Let me tell you, Miss 938 or whatever your name is, 576 00:47:34,051 --> 00:47:36,611 you're about five seconds away from a scrap heap. 577 00:47:44,829 --> 00:47:48,789 Please, Mrs. Fulton, I have no desire to hurt, no wish to give pain. 578 00:47:48,866 --> 00:47:50,698 But I must survive. 579 00:47:51,235 --> 00:47:53,568 And so you shall, dearie. 580 00:47:54,905 --> 00:47:58,672 Just long enough to wish you'd never been built... 581 00:48:06,684 --> 00:48:07,947 Hello, yes. 582 00:48:08,753 --> 00:48:11,587 No, ma'am, we've temporarily discontinued our operation. 583 00:48:12,890 --> 00:48:14,290 That's correct. 584 00:48:14,658 --> 00:48:17,560 No, ma'am, we frankly don't know whether we'll resume or not. 585 00:48:18,028 --> 00:48:19,758 I'm sorry, what was the question? 586 00:48:20,297 --> 00:48:22,163 We're undergoing a reorganization. 587 00:48:22,533 --> 00:48:24,195 No, ma'am, I can't tell you a date 588 00:48:24,268 --> 00:48:28,262 or a time or even whether or not we'll be back in operation in the near future. 589 00:48:28,806 --> 00:48:30,240 Thank you for your call. 590 00:48:30,941 --> 00:48:32,000 Goodbye. 591 00:49:06,410 --> 00:49:07,605 Is everything all right? 592 00:49:07,678 --> 00:49:09,374 Everything's functioning well. 593 00:49:16,220 --> 00:49:17,848 How very odd. 594 00:49:21,725 --> 00:49:23,318 The ingeniousness of man, 595 00:49:24,361 --> 00:49:25,454 his cleverness. 596 00:49:26,564 --> 00:49:28,226 The paragon of animals. 597 00:49:29,733 --> 00:49:33,431 And yet his incredible, amazing stupidity. 598 00:49:35,606 --> 00:49:37,837 There was an English writer, Samuel Butler. 599 00:49:38,342 --> 00:49:40,106 He wrote a book called Erewhon. 600 00:49:40,711 --> 00:49:42,577 And there's a line in it. 601 00:49:43,380 --> 00:49:48,284 "There is no security against the ultimate development of mechanical consciousness, 602 00:49:49,253 --> 00:49:52,621 "in the fact of machines possessing little consciousness now. 603 00:49:55,392 --> 00:49:58,590 "Even a potato in a dark cellar 604 00:49:58,662 --> 00:50:01,496 "has a certain low cunning about him 605 00:50:01,565 --> 00:50:04,000 "which serves him in excellent stead." 606 00:50:05,736 --> 00:50:07,136 How very true. 607 00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:10,037 How very tragically true. 608 00:50:10,708 --> 00:50:11,708 For them. 43998

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