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Starring tonight,
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Geraldine Page,
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Broderick Crawford,
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00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,461
Barbara Steele,
5
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,199
Richard Thomas,
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00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:39,706
Cloris Leachman,
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00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,071
Michael Dunn,
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and Lana Wood.
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00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:51,316
Good evening.
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00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,620
I'm your tour guide
through this unusual salon
11
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:57,556
of unusual statuary
and paintings.
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00:00:57,991 --> 00:01:00,586
These are the sort of things
that may not please you
13
00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:02,823
but very likely may chill you.
14
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:05,628
Because this is
the Night Gallery.
15
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Now, this one here,
unabashed and unashamed,
16
00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,609
I submit to you, was a dandy.
17
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:19,552
It delves into an ancient
funeral rite having
18
00:01:19,576 --> 00:01:21,878
to do with a personage
called a sin-eater,
19
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:25,984
one who attends a wake and
partakes of the funeral food.
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00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:30,249
And in the process, digests all
the transgressions of the deceased
21
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:34,684
so that he departs the earth a
much cleaner and sweeter little item,
22
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:37,230
proving that we've become
a bit more sophisticated
23
00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:38,959
in our tribal rites,
24
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:43,060
but we are much the poorer for
our 20th century chromium intellect.
25
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:44,962
You might agree with me
26
00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:48,065
after you've seen
Sins of the Fathers.
27
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,365
He can't come.
28
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,969
He's too busy. And
Tregarron's too busy.
29
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,511
And the man from Conway?
30
00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:33,444
He's dead himself.
31
00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:36,540
What with the plague
and now with the famine,
32
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,650
there's not another
one to be had.
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00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,689
There's Dylan Evans.
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00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:44,590
That's right.
There's Dylan Evans.
35
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:49,359
Lives in that hut on the
north side of Plynlimon.
36
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,124
Ride. Offer him anything.
37
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,066
Who is it?
38
00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,304
I work for Mrs. Craighill.
39
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:12,971
She needs your husband.
40
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,782
You can go back
again. He can't come.
41
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,117
He's sick.
42
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,748
He must come.
43
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:25,156
I've been looking for three
days and I can't find anyone else.
44
00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:28,087
Why don't you get
the man from Conway?
45
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,588
He's dead, too.
He died yesterday.
46
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,032
I didn't know.
47
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,500
Of course you didn't know.
You live way off alone.
48
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:41,874
Yes. We live way off alone.
49
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:45,174
Yes, but not from
choice. You make us.
50
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,544
When you need our
men, you come running.
51
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:52,177
After they've done what
you want, you cast them off,
52
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:53,777
pariahs,
53
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:56,156
until you need them again.
54
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,851
We pay, don't we?
55
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:01,524
And there's fine food,
a banquet every time.
56
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:05,923
Well, he can't come. He's sick.
57
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,297
How sick is your man?
58
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,267
There's no one else.
59
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,070
My master has been
dead for three days
60
00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:16,905
and he must be buried tomorrow.
61
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:19,071
Is your man so very sick?
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00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:24,742
He is. We have not
eaten for a week.
63
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:27,380
First he was sick
with the plague
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00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,685
and now he's sick
with the famine.
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00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:32,316
Then let him come.
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00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:34,626
There's roast lamb
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00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,257
and boiled eggs
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00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:40,265
and raw onions sliced across
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00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:43,166
and thick slices of bacon,
70
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:47,697
fresh baked bread
heavy with butter,
71
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,069
all there waiting for him.
72
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,245
Great wedges of cake.
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00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:58,075
And whole slabs of white cheese.
74
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:09,594
You're sure there's
nobody else you can get?
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00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:12,462
No, they're all sick
or dead themselves
76
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,567
or busy with the dead.
77
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,767
Where are you from?
78
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:18,168
Cadno. It's not very far.
79
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:19,998
Well, how do you
know what's too far?
80
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:21,166
He's weak.
81
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:26,509
If he comes, I say if,
82
00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:29,045
he rides your horse.
83
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,985
A sin-eater ride my horse?
84
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:34,783
What is so terrible
about a sin-eater?
85
00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:37,255
He gets you to God, doesn't he?
86
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:40,921
Let's not quarrel.
87
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:44,890
The corpse is waiting and
the banquet is all laid out.
88
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,091
Yes.
89
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:47,666
Yes.
90
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:51,165
My man is supposed
to eat your master's sins
91
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:55,236
and your master
goes innocent to glory.
92
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,104
What happens to my man?
93
00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:04,250
Eternal damnation for
all the sins he has eaten,
94
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,752
for all the others
down through the years.
95
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,625
Mrs. Evans,
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00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:16,329
no one made your
husband a sin-eater.
97
00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:18,125
Hunger made him.
98
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,966
Money made him.
99
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:24,533
The money that you throw
after him when he's finished,
100
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,538
and you drive him
from your door.
101
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:31,810
Yes, ma'am, and
that's still the same.
102
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,612
The corpse is piled with food
103
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,708
and there are three gold
coins waiting to be thrown.
104
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,919
You'll let him ride your horse?
105
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,689
I'll let him ride my horse.
106
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:50,196
And you'll let him
ride your horse back?
107
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:52,321
I'll let him ride it back.
108
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:56,336
Now, Mrs. Evans, please tell
him and have him make haste.
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00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:00,003
I'll tell him.
110
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:04,137
Both ways? He rides both ways?
111
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,044
Both ways. Both ways.
112
00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:25,625
Did your father hear?
113
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:27,699
No,
114
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,132
but I heard.
115
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:34,732
Why have you been crying?
116
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:42,109
My father is sick and moaning
and all I think about is food.
117
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:50,580
Don't worry,
you're going to eat.
118
00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:55,661
It's terrible to be hungry.
119
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:59,792
You won't be hungry.
Not after tonight.
120
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,733
And where will the
food come from, Mother?
121
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:06,071
Will it drop like
manna from heaven?
122
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,767
You heard the man.
123
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,367
You will go with
him. You will eat.
124
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:16,448
Me?
125
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,354
No, I couldn't.
126
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:26,019
I couldn't eat a
dead man's sins.
127
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:29,257
You're hungry. Food is food.
128
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:33,229
But to eat from the
chest of a dead man?
129
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,892
Mother, the food would choke me.
130
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,563
Ian, there is the money.
131
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:39,700
There are three pieces of gold.
132
00:10:39,772 --> 00:10:41,707
But I'd rather starve.
133
00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:43,240
And your father?
134
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,445
And your mother?
135
00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:47,605
You want them to starve?
136
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:52,209
No. But, Mother, to eat
from the chest of a corpse?
137
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,914
To take a man's sins and
be damned for all eternity?
138
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,981
No, I won't. I can't
do that. I won't.
139
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:10,736
Ian,
140
00:11:11,704 --> 00:11:13,832
what if you don't eat?
141
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:17,040
To take the dead man's sins,
142
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:20,308
you must eat the
food on the corpse.
143
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:23,583
But what if you don't eat?
144
00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:26,444
What if you bring the food away?
145
00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:31,850
Not eat?
146
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:32,925
No.
147
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,123
No, not there.
148
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,688
Not one crumb.
149
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:39,131
Not a crumb.
150
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:45,537
But everybody stands
around. Everyone watches.
151
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:48,632
Yes, but you'll
send them out, Ian.
152
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:55,473
You'll tell them that you
can only eat sin in solitude.
153
00:11:56,382 --> 00:12:00,786
And then they go out. And
then you make the sounds.
154
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:05,516
You scream and you cry out
155
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:07,616
so they can hear.
156
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:12,490
But what are the words, Mother?
I don't know the words to say.
157
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:17,197
It's 12 miles. Twelve
mountain miles.
158
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:18,666
He's coming.
159
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,134
He has to get dressed.
160
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:26,039
Ian, you've heard your father.
161
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:28,877
First he says the
sin-eater's prayer.
162
00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:30,143
I don't know it.
163
00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:32,048
Oh, you do. I don't.
164
00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:35,481
Ian, you cry out,
"To God Almighty,
165
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:38,889
"give me this man's sins.
166
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:41,692
"Let me be damned forever."
167
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:45,155
I can't say that,
Mother. I won't.
168
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:49,024
Well, then just mumble it.
169
00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,795
You've heard your father.
170
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,806
First it's the prayer,
171
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,510
then he hisses
172
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:01,374
and he mutters
173
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:06,383
and he takes pauses
while he gobbles the food.
174
00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:10,153
And then he cries
out to God again.
175
00:13:10,556 --> 00:13:12,684
But what are the words?
176
00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:14,557
Mother, I've no
ear for the words.
177
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:18,189
The words are easy. You
just keep begging heaven.
178
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:21,464
You beg heaven to
let the dead man's sins
179
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,468
flow from him into you.
180
00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:29,667
Just imitate your father.
181
00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:30,742
But, Mother...
182
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:35,476
Mother, I can imitate
a fox calling to a vixen
183
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:38,643
and she calling back. I
can imitate an owl but...
184
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:41,711
Don't carry on. Mother...
Mother... Mother...
185
00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:43,518
Mother, a nighthawk
I can imitate.
186
00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:45,455
And rabbits I can
make come to me,
187
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,221
but words, I can't...
188
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:49,785
You just have to
keep begging heaven,
189
00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:54,328
louder and louder and faster
so heaven will heed and hear.
190
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,035
Well...
191
00:13:58,304 --> 00:14:00,637
When do I shriek?
192
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:04,540
You take time. Take
time with the begging.
193
00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:10,345
And then when the sin enters
you, you scream out with horror.
194
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:16,947
And then you run,
whimpering from the house.
195
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:20,418
But don't forget to
pick up the money.
196
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:25,857
And I won't have
to eat his sins?
197
00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:27,958
No, Ian, no.
198
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,670
And you bring back roast lamb.
199
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:40,746
But I'll have to stay
alone with a dead man.
200
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:43,248
Thick slices of bacon,
201
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:49,312
wedges of cake
with raisins and nuts,
202
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:52,388
butter on the cake.
203
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:55,219
And I bring it all home?
204
00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:56,592
Yes.
205
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:04,269
For you?
206
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:08,473
No.
207
00:15:09,942 --> 00:15:12,502
I shan't touch one crumb.
208
00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:14,704
Not a crumb.
209
00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:18,210
For father?
210
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:19,618
No.
211
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,911
Not for your father.
212
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,549
You shall eat it all.
213
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,720
And in this house.
214
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:48,237
What is this you
have brought me?
215
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:50,539
This is no sin-eater.
216
00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:52,443
This is a boy.
217
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,443
He can eat as well as another.
218
00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:58,014
Perhaps better.
219
00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:02,084
A boy is young and strong
to bear the burdens of sin.
220
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,010
Do you call this strong?
221
00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:28,314
Look how thin he is.
222
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,614
As for young...
223
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:37,714
Is this poor child to take on the evil
of a grown man's entire existence?
224
00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:41,458
He's still a
sin-eater. Let him eat.
225
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:48,064
Have I not ridden every night
for three days and three nights?
226
00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:51,662
And all the time, I walked
beside the horse while he rode.
227
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:55,605
And half the time I had to support
him so he wouldn't tumble off.
228
00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:57,774
He's weak.
229
00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:00,612
There's no other.
230
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,275
I'm hungry.
231
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,596
Shall we not begin?
232
00:18:58,304 --> 00:18:59,772
Start, boy.
233
00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:02,698
If you're a sin-eater,
you know the words.
234
00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:12,146
You must know the words
of the sin-eater's prayer.
235
00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:20,456
He's a fraud. Throw him out.
236
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,591
He didn't say the prayer.
237
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:27,292
He's not a fraud.
He'll say the prayer.
238
00:19:27,366 --> 00:19:28,698
And he'll eat.
239
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:33,868
Do you want my husband
to go to hell, child?
240
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,300
Eat, child, eat.
241
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,607
Eat. Eat, child.
242
00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:44,647
Eat.
243
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:46,781
Eat.
244
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:51,382
Not one scrap. Not one crumb.
245
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:59,363
No, no, no, you must all go.
246
00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:02,794
You must all go.
247
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:05,496
I am one that eats alone.
248
00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:10,134
Oh, no, lad. The sin-eater
eats before the witnesses.
249
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,303
Witnesses must be present.
250
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:15,780
Witnesses must witness
when the sin passes.
251
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:17,476
But you'll hear it.
252
00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:22,277
I swear you'll hear the shriek
when the sin passes into me.
253
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:27,193
He will do it, I tell you. He's
the only one to be found.
254
00:20:27,259 --> 00:20:29,251
Quiet, quiet.
255
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:35,763
Yes, lad, yes.
256
00:20:36,469 --> 00:20:38,870
If you are one that eats alone,
257
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,271
then God's will be done.
258
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:48,273
We'll stand in the next room.
259
00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:51,783
We shall hear
when the sin passes.
260
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:54,681
When we hear
the terrible wailing,
261
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:57,349
and we hear the
shriek of mortal terror,
262
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,915
we shall know that
the sin has passed.
263
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:05,514
God Almighty.
264
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,969
Let the sins of this
corpse flow into my body.
265
00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:33,210
Let the sins of this
man flow into my body.
266
00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:18,678
Did you bring the food?
267
00:26:23,015 --> 00:26:24,381
Is that all of it?
268
00:26:25,284 --> 00:26:26,343
That's all of it.
269
00:26:27,453 --> 00:26:29,945
Not one morsel, not
one crumb did I eat.
270
00:26:30,856 --> 00:26:34,623
Well, son, now you will eat.
271
00:26:43,669 --> 00:26:45,137
Wait. Where are you taking it?
272
00:26:45,204 --> 00:26:47,002
No. It's mine. You promised.
273
00:26:48,774 --> 00:26:50,834
Oh, no, you're not
giving it all to him?
274
00:26:54,646 --> 00:26:56,308
You will have all of it.
275
00:26:57,483 --> 00:26:59,076
All of it.
276
00:27:19,204 --> 00:27:20,797
Now you can eat.
277
00:27:44,329 --> 00:27:45,456
Ian.
278
00:27:46,899 --> 00:27:47,899
Ian.
279
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,393
Ian, think of your father.
280
00:27:52,704 --> 00:27:54,070
He's your father.
281
00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:58,269
He's not a simple farmer,
282
00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:00,612
with simple sins.
283
00:28:01,313 --> 00:28:03,339
He's your father.
284
00:28:04,483 --> 00:28:05,974
Think of your father.
285
00:28:06,051 --> 00:28:07,051
No.
286
00:28:07,419 --> 00:28:10,446
No, to eat the sins
of the sin-eater...
287
00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:13,117
Yes, you have to.
288
00:28:14,626 --> 00:28:17,562
Think of all the
sins of the sin-eater.
289
00:28:18,263 --> 00:28:20,357
Sin upon sin,
290
00:28:20,933 --> 00:28:22,595
year after year,
291
00:28:23,602 --> 00:28:25,332
hundreds of sins
292
00:28:26,038 --> 00:28:28,064
from hundreds of men.
293
00:28:28,373 --> 00:28:29,373
Ian.
294
00:28:30,175 --> 00:28:33,907
Ian someone has to take
on the sins of the sin-eater.
295
00:28:33,979 --> 00:28:35,538
He's your father.
296
00:28:41,853 --> 00:28:45,654
Are you going to let your father
die with all those sins unrepented
297
00:28:46,692 --> 00:28:50,129
unshriven, unforgiven?
298
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,000
Ian.
299
00:28:58,203 --> 00:29:00,763
Ian, smell the bacon?
300
00:29:03,175 --> 00:29:04,302
See.
301
00:29:05,611 --> 00:29:07,910
See how white the cheese.
302
00:29:10,882 --> 00:29:13,852
Even though they're
crushed, see the golden yolks?
303
00:29:15,487 --> 00:29:17,183
Ian, don't worry.
304
00:29:18,724 --> 00:29:20,556
You'll have a son.
305
00:29:26,732 --> 00:29:27,732
Oh, God!
306
00:29:31,570 --> 00:29:34,540
Oh, God Almighty!
307
00:29:35,641 --> 00:29:41,080
Give me this man's sins
and let me be damned forever.
308
00:30:07,005 --> 00:30:11,568
Offered to you now, an item having
to do with labor and management.
309
00:30:11,843 --> 00:30:13,402
An employment office,
310
00:30:13,679 --> 00:30:17,343
where is offered a collection
of potential employees,
311
00:30:17,416 --> 00:30:19,282
whose skills are unique.
312
00:30:19,351 --> 00:30:22,844
For in addition to their
loyalty, industriousness,
313
00:30:22,921 --> 00:30:26,221
punctuality and
impeccable cleanliness,
314
00:30:26,291 --> 00:30:31,594
they also run at least 100,000
miles without a lube and an oil change.
315
00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:33,723
It's no wonder we call this one
316
00:30:33,799 --> 00:30:36,325
You Can't Get Help
Like That Anymore.
317
00:31:30,155 --> 00:31:32,386
This is our domestic
help section.
318
00:31:32,457 --> 00:31:34,983
Butlers, cooks, maids,
everything for the home.
319
00:31:35,627 --> 00:31:37,323
They look so incredibly real.
320
00:31:37,396 --> 00:31:39,024
Well, they are
real, Mrs. Foster.
321
00:31:39,097 --> 00:31:40,725
They're just as
real as you and I.
322
00:31:43,001 --> 00:31:46,062
And they think?
They actually think?
323
00:31:46,705 --> 00:31:50,164
They think in the sense
that there are thought areas
324
00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:52,802
into which they have
been fed computerized data
325
00:31:52,878 --> 00:31:55,143
that enable them
to make decisions.
326
00:31:55,313 --> 00:31:56,645
For instance,
327
00:31:57,482 --> 00:31:58,973
this model here.
328
00:31:59,351 --> 00:32:02,287
This is our Production
Model 706. Housemaid.
329
00:32:02,354 --> 00:32:05,381
Now she can decide
330
00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:08,870
when's the proper time to change the
sheets and pillow cases, for instance,
331
00:32:08,894 --> 00:32:10,886
or wax the floor.
Things like that.
332
00:32:10,962 --> 00:32:14,364
That is the extent of her
thought process, if you will.
333
00:32:14,966 --> 00:32:18,903
Here's a new model
we're just developing.
334
00:32:18,970 --> 00:32:21,838
This is our Production
Model 738. Chauffeur.
335
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:24,466
You mean he actually drives?
336
00:32:24,643 --> 00:32:26,009
He does indeed.
337
00:32:26,077 --> 00:32:28,205
With consummate
skill. Par excellence.
338
00:32:28,647 --> 00:32:29,979
Well, that's incredible.
339
00:32:30,048 --> 00:32:31,048
Seems so, doesn't it?
340
00:32:31,583 --> 00:32:33,779
You should see the more
expensive model of this chap.
341
00:32:33,852 --> 00:32:36,981
Not only drives, but makes
major automotive repairs
342
00:32:37,055 --> 00:32:39,820
and better than you could
get done at any garage.
343
00:32:43,061 --> 00:32:44,188
Hample here.
344
00:32:44,262 --> 00:32:46,582
You're wanted in the complaint
department, Mr. Hample.
345
00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:48,327
I'll be there directly.
346
00:32:48,867 --> 00:32:50,597
If you'll excuse me...
347
00:32:50,669 --> 00:32:53,332
Why don't you come on
into our hospitality room
348
00:32:53,405 --> 00:32:55,616
and look at the brochures and
I'll be with you in a minute, huh?
349
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,131
Complaint department?
350
00:32:57,609 --> 00:33:00,044
You got that. Well...
351
00:33:00,345 --> 00:33:02,644
Complaint is just kind
of a catch-all phrase.
352
00:33:02,714 --> 00:33:04,444
Not even complaints,
really. Just...
353
00:33:04,516 --> 00:33:08,112
Usually just slight
modifications required.
354
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:12,582
You know, statistically we
have fewer than 2% returns.
355
00:33:12,657 --> 00:33:16,253
And 99% of the adjustments
are of a minor nature, believe me.
356
00:33:22,934 --> 00:33:24,178
Good afternoon, Mr. Hample.
357
00:33:24,202 --> 00:33:25,500
Good afternoon, Miss Sherman.
358
00:33:25,570 --> 00:33:27,038
This is Mr. and Mrs. Foster.
359
00:33:27,105 --> 00:33:29,836
They're interested in some
of our domestic models.
360
00:33:29,908 --> 00:33:31,638
Very pleased to know you both.
361
00:33:31,710 --> 00:33:34,407
May I get you
coffee? Or a drink?
362
00:33:34,679 --> 00:33:36,375
Coffee, please. Black.
363
00:33:36,781 --> 00:33:38,079
The same, please.
364
00:33:38,650 --> 00:33:40,516
Make yourselves comfortable.
365
00:33:53,765 --> 00:33:56,564
Our Production Model 473.
366
00:33:57,836 --> 00:33:59,202
You can just shut them off?
367
00:33:59,271 --> 00:34:01,172
At your pleasure
and convenience.
368
00:34:01,239 --> 00:34:04,266
Or you can preset
their functioning time.
369
00:34:04,342 --> 00:34:06,641
They can work 24 hours
a day if you want them to.
370
00:34:06,711 --> 00:34:08,145
That's incredible.
371
00:34:09,514 --> 00:34:11,005
It's also a little scary.
372
00:34:11,082 --> 00:34:12,082
Scary?
373
00:34:14,519 --> 00:34:17,921
When they're working,
they seem so real, so human.
374
00:34:18,456 --> 00:34:20,823
And when you turn
them off, well, it's as if...
375
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:23,153
As if what, Mrs. Foster?
376
00:34:23,929 --> 00:34:25,830
It's as if you kill them.
377
00:34:29,668 --> 00:34:30,727
What is it?
378
00:34:30,802 --> 00:34:32,100
Complaints department, sir.
379
00:34:32,170 --> 00:34:34,482
There are some customers who
are very anxious to speak with you.
380
00:34:34,506 --> 00:34:36,998
And Dr. Kessler has been
trying to reach you, sir.
381
00:34:37,075 --> 00:34:38,600
I'll be right there.
382
00:34:50,622 --> 00:34:53,114
Miss Sherman will
take care of you.
383
00:34:53,191 --> 00:34:54,523
I'll be right back.
384
00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:06,169
You wanted to see me, Kessler?
385
00:35:06,237 --> 00:35:07,705
When you have a moment, yes.
386
00:35:07,772 --> 00:35:10,217
Can it keep? I've got two people
waiting for me with a complaint.
387
00:35:10,241 --> 00:35:12,801
You have a person here
waiting for you with a complaint.
388
00:35:12,877 --> 00:35:14,505
Now, look at that.
389
00:35:17,215 --> 00:35:19,013
Good Lord. What caused this?
390
00:35:19,618 --> 00:35:21,052
What caused this
391
00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:25,856
is a psychopathic wrecking team
called Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Fulton.
392
00:35:26,725 --> 00:35:28,887
Presently awaiting you
with a whining complaint
393
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,429
that we build
defective merchandise.
394
00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:35,464
Defective in this case meaning
395
00:35:35,533 --> 00:35:38,469
that we didn't build it out of
concrete and armor plated steel.
396
00:35:38,536 --> 00:35:41,768
Now hold on, Kessler, this could very
well have been caused by an accident.
397
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:44,742
This could only have been
caused by two neurotic sadists
398
00:35:44,809 --> 00:35:47,301
who find pure joy in
the act of destruction.
399
00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:49,706
Yes?
400
00:35:49,781 --> 00:35:51,626
Mr. and Mrs. Fulton are
still looking for you, sir.
401
00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:54,085
Later. I'm very busy
here with Dr. Kessler.
402
00:35:55,987 --> 00:35:56,987
Look at it.
403
00:35:58,690 --> 00:36:00,784
All the major circuits torn out.
404
00:36:00,859 --> 00:36:03,590
All the limbs
dismembered or fractured.
405
00:36:03,662 --> 00:36:05,460
The entire body pock-marked.
406
00:36:05,697 --> 00:36:07,222
Oh, there you are, Hample.
407
00:36:07,298 --> 00:36:08,542
I want to talk to you,
not to any middlemen.
408
00:36:08,566 --> 00:36:09,677
Now let me tell you something.
409
00:36:09,701 --> 00:36:11,431
No. Let me tell him.
410
00:36:11,503 --> 00:36:13,301
We wanted a maid, right?
411
00:36:13,371 --> 00:36:15,499
Nothing special,
nothing complicated.
412
00:36:15,573 --> 00:36:17,201
Just a maid.
413
00:36:17,275 --> 00:36:18,402
I understand.
414
00:36:18,476 --> 00:36:20,445
Who could wash a
floor and make a bed.
415
00:36:20,512 --> 00:36:22,413
Nothing complicated at all.
416
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:23,914
And what do we get?
417
00:36:23,982 --> 00:36:28,420
Some skimpy, just
jerry-built piece of trash
418
00:36:28,486 --> 00:36:30,580
that can't even make a
bed and it broke down...
419
00:36:31,956 --> 00:36:34,824
Not broke down, Madam.
Was broken down.
420
00:36:34,893 --> 00:36:36,953
Was tortured, abused,
punished and wrecked!
421
00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:38,052
Please, Kessler.
422
00:36:38,129 --> 00:36:39,859
You want a maid, do you?
423
00:36:39,931 --> 00:36:42,410
Well, the only kind of maid we
could develop for people like you
424
00:36:42,434 --> 00:36:44,369
would be a surplus
tank with an apron on it.
425
00:36:44,436 --> 00:36:46,113
Now wait a minute, I
want to tell you something.
426
00:36:46,137 --> 00:36:47,662
No, let me tell him.
427
00:36:47,739 --> 00:36:49,765
You're cheats.
That's what you are.
428
00:36:49,841 --> 00:36:51,571
And we've a good
mind to report you.
429
00:36:51,643 --> 00:36:54,203
$25,000 and for what?
430
00:36:54,279 --> 00:36:56,714
Why, the thing isn't even
as strong as a human.
431
00:36:56,781 --> 00:36:58,875
What would you know about it?
432
00:36:59,984 --> 00:37:01,452
These things
433
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:05,154
have more human qualities
than you two have ever dreamt of.
434
00:37:05,724 --> 00:37:08,455
What did you ever
kick, punch and abuse
435
00:37:08,526 --> 00:37:10,518
before we developed
robots for you?
436
00:37:11,029 --> 00:37:12,759
Did you pull wings off of flies?
437
00:37:12,831 --> 00:37:14,356
Did you pour kerosene on cats?
438
00:37:14,432 --> 00:37:16,367
Enough. That's quite enough.
439
00:37:18,036 --> 00:37:21,302
I humbly apologize to
you, Mrs. Fulton, Mr. Fulton.
440
00:37:21,372 --> 00:37:24,399
Please, I truly do. Now
if you'll wait in the lobby,
441
00:37:24,476 --> 00:37:26,638
I'll arrange for a
replacement maid.
442
00:37:26,711 --> 00:37:29,203
One of our newer models.
You can pick it out yourself.
443
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,272
You'll have it by
mid-afternoon, I guarantee it.
444
00:37:31,349 --> 00:37:33,614
And I guarantee
total satisfaction.
445
00:37:37,889 --> 00:37:40,518
You'll want an
apology, I suppose.
446
00:37:41,426 --> 00:37:43,486
That would be a good preface.
447
00:37:43,561 --> 00:37:45,996
Followed logically
by your resignation.
448
00:37:46,064 --> 00:37:49,000
Abuse? Is that what you said?
449
00:37:49,134 --> 00:37:52,161
Punish? Torture?
Are those your words?
450
00:37:52,637 --> 00:37:53,900
Dr. Kessler,
451
00:37:54,839 --> 00:37:58,071
you're a very valuable
man and a rare intelligence.
452
00:37:58,143 --> 00:37:59,907
I give you that up front.
453
00:37:59,978 --> 00:38:02,573
But I also give you
this for a corollary.
454
00:38:02,947 --> 00:38:06,349
You certainly must recognize
this is not a human being.
455
00:38:06,417 --> 00:38:10,286
This... This thing
here is just a machine.
456
00:38:10,889 --> 00:38:12,585
They are not just machines.
457
00:38:12,657 --> 00:38:14,649
This is not just a machine?
458
00:38:17,829 --> 00:38:20,424
This isn't just
flesh-colored plastic?
459
00:38:20,498 --> 00:38:23,866
These aren't just wires
and computer circuits?
460
00:38:23,935 --> 00:38:27,599
This isn't just an inanimate,
lifeless, synthetic...
461
00:38:34,612 --> 00:38:37,548
Right now, I think you'd better
explain this to me, Kessler.
462
00:38:42,253 --> 00:38:44,347
It's a phenomenon
I've just observed.
463
00:38:45,223 --> 00:38:48,193
These beings that we've created,
464
00:38:48,593 --> 00:38:50,619
they have developed
certain dimensions,
465
00:38:51,129 --> 00:38:52,529
certain characteristics.
466
00:38:52,931 --> 00:38:54,661
I can't accept that.
467
00:38:54,732 --> 00:38:56,132
You'd better.
468
00:38:56,901 --> 00:38:58,893
And you'd better
accept this, too.
469
00:38:59,604 --> 00:39:03,268
In the beginning, they only respond
to what is programmed into them.
470
00:39:03,608 --> 00:39:04,608
And then?
471
00:39:04,676 --> 00:39:07,373
And then like the human infant,
472
00:39:07,912 --> 00:39:09,403
they begin to mature.
473
00:39:10,448 --> 00:39:12,610
They begin to develop
emotional reactions.
474
00:39:13,051 --> 00:39:17,421
And the next step, and you'd
best prepare for this, Mr. Hample,
475
00:39:17,488 --> 00:39:22,722
they begin to develop
survival instincts and methods.
476
00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:25,660
And when that happens,
477
00:39:25,730 --> 00:39:27,255
it could, Mr. Hample,
478
00:39:27,332 --> 00:39:30,166
you'd best get on the telephone
to people like the Fultons
479
00:39:30,501 --> 00:39:34,131
and tell them to take out their
aggressions on the wall or a punching bag.
480
00:39:34,539 --> 00:39:37,441
Or something
that won't hit back.
481
00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:52,007
So you're the maid?
482
00:40:52,350 --> 00:40:55,980
I'm Model Number 931,
Mr. Fulton. I am here to serve you.
483
00:40:58,589 --> 00:41:00,524
Model 931.
484
00:41:02,226 --> 00:41:03,819
Let me tell you something.
485
00:41:04,329 --> 00:41:06,491
Whoever made you
sure put it all together
486
00:41:06,564 --> 00:41:10,626
because you are one little
charming hunk of a maid. Believe me.
487
00:41:11,402 --> 00:41:13,030
Thank you, Mr. Fulton.
488
00:41:14,906 --> 00:41:16,340
Don't forget this one.
489
00:41:19,344 --> 00:41:21,711
Now, wait a minute. Wait
a minute. Wait a minute.
490
00:41:22,413 --> 00:41:25,178
Can't you do anything else
besides clean up a room?
491
00:41:25,249 --> 00:41:27,878
I'm programmed to take
complete charge of a house.
492
00:41:27,952 --> 00:41:31,855
This includes all cleaning, answering
telephones and other related duties.
493
00:41:32,357 --> 00:41:34,053
Well, I got news for you.
494
00:41:34,225 --> 00:41:36,592
If that's the sum
total of your services,
495
00:41:37,095 --> 00:41:40,395
why did they give you such
a beautiful face and body?
496
00:41:41,566 --> 00:41:42,829
I think...
497
00:41:44,135 --> 00:41:47,071
I think it's a gross
deception, that's what I think.
498
00:41:47,572 --> 00:41:49,438
Because anybody
that looks like you
499
00:41:49,507 --> 00:41:52,375
has gotta be able to do more
than just clean up a room.
500
00:41:52,910 --> 00:41:56,142
Is that what you think, joy-boy?
501
00:42:02,020 --> 00:42:05,013
Then again, give
this a thought, Joe.
502
00:42:06,391 --> 00:42:09,486
Maybe she's not just a maid.
503
00:42:10,028 --> 00:42:13,829
Maybe that's only a
part of her function.
504
00:42:15,833 --> 00:42:18,701
Is it possible that
they programmed
505
00:42:19,103 --> 00:42:21,368
a little slut into you?
506
00:42:21,539 --> 00:42:24,771
Oh, no, ma'am. My model
number is that of a domestic.
507
00:42:25,009 --> 00:42:28,241
If you wanted a Robot-Aid whose
functions were more complicated...
508
00:42:28,312 --> 00:42:31,282
That's bull, dearie.
509
00:42:42,126 --> 00:42:46,587
What I just did,
did that tick you off?
510
00:42:53,371 --> 00:42:54,930
I asked you a question.
511
00:42:55,873 --> 00:43:00,004
Inside that maze of
wires and expensive tubes,
512
00:43:00,078 --> 00:43:03,446
is there a little
special battery
513
00:43:03,514 --> 00:43:07,645
that makes you want to
break people's heads open?
514
00:43:07,785 --> 00:43:10,186
We do not possess
the capacity for anger.
515
00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:13,057
Did you hear that, Joe?
516
00:43:13,624 --> 00:43:15,650
Why don't you let her
clean up the mess?
517
00:43:15,726 --> 00:43:18,286
Because I'm fascinated
518
00:43:18,362 --> 00:43:23,426
with this pre-fabricated little
wildflower who can get pinched,
519
00:43:24,902 --> 00:43:26,837
who can get stepped on,
520
00:43:29,907 --> 00:43:32,138
who can get knocked
through a wall
521
00:43:32,710 --> 00:43:34,941
and the worst that can happen
522
00:43:35,012 --> 00:43:38,380
is that she'll light
up and say, "Don't."
523
00:43:39,750 --> 00:43:41,446
Why don't you
stop picking on her?
524
00:43:42,053 --> 00:43:45,512
I might ask the
same question of you.
525
00:43:45,857 --> 00:43:50,227
You've got a thing about
sophisticated machinery.
526
00:43:50,895 --> 00:43:55,697
Why don't you go out in the
garage and pinch the power mower?
527
00:43:56,534 --> 00:43:57,695
Just a minute.
528
00:43:58,769 --> 00:44:00,101
I'm not finished.
529
00:44:03,774 --> 00:44:07,404
We don't employ you.
530
00:44:08,045 --> 00:44:10,105
We own you.
531
00:44:12,383 --> 00:44:13,749
Remember that.
532
00:44:19,624 --> 00:44:21,650
I own this furniture.
533
00:44:29,834 --> 00:44:31,632
I own these drapes.
534
00:44:35,273 --> 00:44:37,435
I own these pictures.
535
00:44:41,612 --> 00:44:43,945
I own this booze.
536
00:44:50,721 --> 00:44:53,054
And I own you.
537
00:44:59,564 --> 00:45:03,501
Now, if now and then,
538
00:45:03,568 --> 00:45:07,835
I get off my feed and irritable,
539
00:45:07,905 --> 00:45:11,637
I may have to
take it out on you.
540
00:45:13,744 --> 00:45:16,179
I may have to remind you
541
00:45:17,181 --> 00:45:21,619
that you are just
a vacuum cleaner
542
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:24,079
with pretty legs.
543
00:45:27,291 --> 00:45:30,989
Your predecessor
didn't work out so well.
544
00:45:31,696 --> 00:45:34,325
She couldn't hack
it in the service.
545
00:45:47,612 --> 00:45:50,081
You want to
register a complaint?
546
00:45:50,548 --> 00:45:52,141
I give you my permission.
547
00:45:54,452 --> 00:45:56,216
I also give you fair warning
548
00:45:56,854 --> 00:45:58,948
that I may let you
have it with a lamp.
549
00:45:59,790 --> 00:46:02,282
I was only looking
at you, Mrs. Fulton.
550
00:46:03,828 --> 00:46:04,828
Say again?
551
00:46:05,129 --> 00:46:08,395
I said I was only looking at
you. You and your husband.
552
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,065
You were only looking at us.
553
00:46:13,037 --> 00:46:14,699
All right, dearie.
554
00:46:16,007 --> 00:46:17,007
What do you see?
555
00:46:18,643 --> 00:46:21,772
I said, "What do you see?"
556
00:46:22,713 --> 00:46:25,945
Mrs. Fulton, I can't lie.
557
00:46:27,118 --> 00:46:28,381
No?
558
00:46:28,452 --> 00:46:30,751
I am programmed
to tell the truth.
559
00:46:30,821 --> 00:46:32,915
So tell the truth.
What do you see?
560
00:46:34,292 --> 00:46:37,490
I see a middle-aged woman,
561
00:46:37,561 --> 00:46:39,792
aging without grace.
562
00:46:39,864 --> 00:46:43,198
Aggressive,
competitive, discontented,
563
00:46:43,934 --> 00:46:47,928
with an ugliness inside that
can't be covered with cosmetics.
564
00:46:49,874 --> 00:46:50,933
And Mr. Fulton,
565
00:46:51,976 --> 00:46:54,445
crude, cruel, vulgar.
566
00:46:55,479 --> 00:46:58,313
Lusting for everything
but loving nothing.
567
00:47:00,618 --> 00:47:04,055
Now shall I continue to clean up
the room or what is your pleasure?
568
00:47:07,491 --> 00:47:13,362
My pleasure is to
deactivate you for good.
569
00:47:13,431 --> 00:47:17,732
Mrs. Fulton, you pointed out that my
predecessor was incapable of survival here.
570
00:47:17,802 --> 00:47:20,101
I must warn you, so
long as I am activated,
571
00:47:20,171 --> 00:47:23,005
I shall defend myself
against destruction.
572
00:47:23,107 --> 00:47:24,302
What's that?
573
00:47:24,375 --> 00:47:26,970
I shall not allow
you to destroy me.
574
00:47:27,478 --> 00:47:29,071
You shall not allow us?
575
00:47:29,914 --> 00:47:33,282
Let me tell you, Miss 938
or whatever your name is,
576
00:47:34,051 --> 00:47:36,611
you're about five seconds
away from a scrap heap.
577
00:47:44,829 --> 00:47:48,789
Please, Mrs. Fulton, I have no
desire to hurt, no wish to give pain.
578
00:47:48,866 --> 00:47:50,698
But I must survive.
579
00:47:51,235 --> 00:47:53,568
And so you shall, dearie.
580
00:47:54,905 --> 00:47:58,672
Just long enough to wish
you'd never been built...
581
00:48:06,684 --> 00:48:07,947
Hello, yes.
582
00:48:08,753 --> 00:48:11,587
No, ma'am, we've temporarily
discontinued our operation.
583
00:48:12,890 --> 00:48:14,290
That's correct.
584
00:48:14,658 --> 00:48:17,560
No, ma'am, we frankly don't
know whether we'll resume or not.
585
00:48:18,028 --> 00:48:19,758
I'm sorry, what
was the question?
586
00:48:20,297 --> 00:48:22,163
We're undergoing
a reorganization.
587
00:48:22,533 --> 00:48:24,195
No, ma'am, I
can't tell you a date
588
00:48:24,268 --> 00:48:28,262
or a time or even whether or not we'll
be back in operation in the near future.
589
00:48:28,806 --> 00:48:30,240
Thank you for your call.
590
00:48:30,941 --> 00:48:32,000
Goodbye.
591
00:49:06,410 --> 00:49:07,605
Is everything all right?
592
00:49:07,678 --> 00:49:09,374
Everything's functioning well.
593
00:49:16,220 --> 00:49:17,848
How very odd.
594
00:49:21,725 --> 00:49:23,318
The ingeniousness of man,
595
00:49:24,361 --> 00:49:25,454
his cleverness.
596
00:49:26,564 --> 00:49:28,226
The paragon of animals.
597
00:49:29,733 --> 00:49:33,431
And yet his incredible,
amazing stupidity.
598
00:49:35,606 --> 00:49:37,837
There was an English
writer, Samuel Butler.
599
00:49:38,342 --> 00:49:40,106
He wrote a book called Erewhon.
600
00:49:40,711 --> 00:49:42,577
And there's a line in it.
601
00:49:43,380 --> 00:49:48,284
"There is no security against the ultimate
development of mechanical consciousness,
602
00:49:49,253 --> 00:49:52,621
"in the fact of machines
possessing little consciousness now.
603
00:49:55,392 --> 00:49:58,590
"Even a potato in a dark cellar
604
00:49:58,662 --> 00:50:01,496
"has a certain low
cunning about him
605
00:50:01,565 --> 00:50:04,000
"which serves him
in excellent stead."
606
00:50:05,736 --> 00:50:07,136
How very true.
607
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:10,037
How very tragically true.
608
00:50:10,708 --> 00:50:11,708
For them.
43998
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