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1
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Previously on SurrealEstate.
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Thank you for making
my world so much bigger.
3
00:00:12,515 --> 00:00:14,065
Hey! Luke.
4
00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:16,264
I got my license today.
5
00:00:16,275 --> 00:00:17,905
Well, that's great! Congratulations.
6
00:00:18,088 --> 00:00:19,968
House, unlock the door!
7
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House!
8
00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:23,654
[SCREAM]
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00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:26,932
Luke, if you could still do what
you used to do, we wouldn't be here.
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00:00:26,943 --> 00:00:29,268
I'm always telling you to find
a better work-life balance.
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00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,739
This isn't about balance. This is about
12
00:00:30,750 --> 00:00:32,760
getting out of here
and reassessing my life.
13
00:00:34,527 --> 00:00:36,067
[OPENING THEME FADES OUT]
14
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,998
[CREEPY SCORE]
15
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:40,582
[ANIMAL HOOTING]
16
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,377
[LAUGHS]
17
00:00:42,508 --> 00:00:45,758
You have to relax. I'm
just taking the shortcut.
18
00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,507
[DRAMATIC BOOM]
19
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,682
Nah, it's perfectly fine.
20
00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,680
The biggest thing in
these woods is a raccoon.
21
00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:58,353
There's no bears or wolves.
22
00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:03,315
No, all the chainsaw
murderers are still at camp.
23
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,732
What're you even... Hang on.
24
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,197
Nothing.
25
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,072
[BRANCHES BREAKING]
26
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:21,750
Look, I'll be home in
ten or so. Okay, bye.
27
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,415
[INDISTINCT WOMAN'S VOICE ECHOING]
28
00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,089
Hello?
29
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,764
[INDISTINCT WOMAN'S VOICE ECHOING]
30
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[INDISTINCT WOMAN'S VOICE ECHOING]
31
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[OPENING THEME]
32
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- [DRAMATIC BOOM]
- [GRUNT]
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[SCREAMING]
34
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- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.addic7ed.com -
35
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,457
[MAN SCREAMING]
36
00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:10,127
[GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
37
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[SIGHING]
38
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,725
Mm...
39
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:21,222
House, call the condescending,
unappreciative jerk.
40
00:02:21,233 --> 00:02:23,049
- Calling Luke Roman.
- [LINE TRILLING]
41
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:25,190
Don't pick up. Voicemail,
voicemail, voicemail.
42
00:02:25,201 --> 00:02:26,871
[PIANO MUSIC FADES OUT]
43
00:02:26,882 --> 00:02:28,815
You've reached Luke Roman.
I'm sorry I missed your call.
44
00:02:28,826 --> 00:02:30,928
- Please leave a message.
- [ANSWERING MACHINE TONE]
45
00:02:30,939 --> 00:02:34,060
Luke! Oh, darn. I was
hoping to talk to you.
46
00:02:34,185 --> 00:02:36,395
I just wanted to let you
know that I'm going to need
47
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,196
a few more days away from the office.
48
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,024
I'll be sending you the contracts
49
00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:41,745
on Bouvier, Santos and Padgett.
50
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:44,330
They're easy closings,
clean titles, approved loans,
51
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,036
you won't have any problems.
52
00:02:46,047 --> 00:02:47,981
The Dunn-Herberts are
doing their usual dance.
53
00:02:47,992 --> 00:02:50,242
It's probably a good
teaching moment for Zooey.
54
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:53,423
I'm dealing with some personal business,
55
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,428
so I'm not sure when I'll
be back in the office,
56
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,721
but seeing as nothing ever changes
57
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,595
at the perfect Roman Agency,
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00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,932
I'm sure you have
everything well in hand.
59
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,518
- Toodles.
- [CALL DISCONNECTING BEEPS]
60
00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:06,193
[GIGGLING]
61
00:03:07,134 --> 00:03:08,594
Hm.
62
00:03:08,705 --> 00:03:10,285
The "toodles" was a bit much.
63
00:03:10,296 --> 00:03:13,520
[HOUSE] It was a nice touch.
Cordial, yet dismissive.
64
00:03:13,531 --> 00:03:15,697
Yeah. That's what I was going for.
65
00:03:15,886 --> 00:03:17,426
Would you like some tea?
66
00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,703
Yes.
67
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,455
- Yes, I would.
- [DEVICE CHIMES]
68
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,036
[PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
69
00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,701
[CONTENTED SIGH]
70
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,496
[LEAVES RUSTLING]
71
00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:31,841
- Toodles?
- [GENTLE SCORE]
72
00:03:32,076 --> 00:03:33,536
It's a hell of a house.
73
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,257
Yeah, built in 1893, historic, solid.
74
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:39,013
- Can't wait to bulldoze it.
- Well, you need to buy it first.
75
00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:40,676
It's only polite.
76
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,701
As you can see, the
property line starts here.
77
00:03:44,712 --> 00:03:46,382
The creek is on your
side. Plenty of room to...
78
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,853
- What's that?
- Well, that is the lot
79
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:50,058
next to yours. It's just a
small place, barely a cottage.
80
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,728
- How much?
- I...
81
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:54,105
I don't know if it's listed for sale.
82
00:03:54,723 --> 00:03:56,016
If I own that lot,
83
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,857
I don't need to worry
about the easements.
84
00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,354
I could build the pool area over here
85
00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:01,815
and put the tennis court over here.
86
00:04:02,150 --> 00:04:03,888
And the guest house
could be way over here,
87
00:04:03,899 --> 00:04:05,438
so I'd hardly ever need to interact
88
00:04:05,449 --> 00:04:06,989
with visiting relatives.
89
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:08,999
I don't even know if you'd see them.
90
00:04:09,010 --> 00:04:10,560
Oh, yeah!
91
00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:16,132
We'll reach out and get a price.
92
00:04:16,143 --> 00:04:18,983
Don't worry about the price. Buy it.
93
00:04:20,017 --> 00:04:21,790
Maybe we should close
on this property first,
94
00:04:21,801 --> 00:04:25,337
- you know, get the ball rolling.
- We're going to do both deals at once.
95
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:26,848
I could never enjoy this lot
96
00:04:26,859 --> 00:04:28,399
knowing that I can't have that lot.
97
00:04:28,410 --> 00:04:30,000
That's just me.
98
00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:32,199
All or nothing.
99
00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:33,758
I'm gonna call my architect.
100
00:04:34,193 --> 00:04:35,733
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
101
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,110
[GENTLE SCORE CONTINUES]
102
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,290
[DARKER SCORE]
103
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,894
[HIGH-PITCHED EERIE TONE]
104
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,725
[EERIE SCORE]
105
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,073
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
106
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,112
[DRAMATIC BOOM]
107
00:06:38,401 --> 00:06:39,674
The house and underlying dirt
108
00:06:39,685 --> 00:06:41,007
are owned by an
offshore holding company.
109
00:06:41,018 --> 00:06:42,928
The only point of contact
is a law firm in Budapest.
110
00:06:43,523 --> 00:06:44,580
Swell.
111
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I reached out and left a message.
112
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:47,703
Yeah, we're not liking the odds
113
00:06:47,714 --> 00:06:49,424
that we're going to
hear back anytime soon.
114
00:06:49,435 --> 00:06:51,355
So, we have one sale
contingent on two properties.
115
00:06:51,603 --> 00:06:53,603
This cabin in the woods is
creating more drama than the
116
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:56,938
- million dollar property.
- Mm-hm. Life is funny.
117
00:06:56,949 --> 00:06:58,682
You know, I could have
sworn there was something
118
00:06:58,693 --> 00:07:00,773
in that house, watching me.
119
00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:03,116
You think maybe it was your, um...
120
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:04,825
your mojo coming back?
121
00:07:04,836 --> 00:07:07,426
Ah! Maybe it's growing
back, like a starfish leg.
122
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:10,095
No. Just old-fashioned paranoia.
123
00:07:10,605 --> 00:07:11,842
You all set for today?
124
00:07:11,853 --> 00:07:13,483
- Mm-hm.
- What's today?
125
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:16,525
I am taking my first
couple to look at houses.
126
00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:19,108
Susan's taking her personal
days and I am covering.
127
00:07:19,119 --> 00:07:22,499
Aw. Who's the victim? I
mean, who's the client?
128
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:24,350
[MOCKING] Aw, who's the victim.
129
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,841
The Dunn-Herberts. Lara and Freya.
130
00:07:26,852 --> 00:07:28,312
[LAUGHING]
131
00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:29,873
[MISCHIEVOUS SCORE]
132
00:07:31,989 --> 00:07:32,998
What?
133
00:07:33,493 --> 00:07:36,093
[LUKE] The Dunn-Herberts
are our locally sourced
134
00:07:36,104 --> 00:07:37,734
organic vegan lookie-loos.
135
00:07:38,621 --> 00:07:39,877
[PHIL] They shop,
136
00:07:39,888 --> 00:07:42,212
they kvetch and they never buy.
137
00:07:42,717 --> 00:07:44,177
[SCORE ENDS]
138
00:07:44,188 --> 00:07:45,738
Have fun.
139
00:07:46,615 --> 00:07:48,455
Great. [SHUDDERING SIGH]
140
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:51,305
[DRAMATIC BOOMS]
141
00:07:51,455 --> 00:07:53,995
Oh, my God. You did not do them justice.
142
00:07:54,219 --> 00:07:56,799
This is like an Oscar Wilde
play about mistaken identity.
143
00:07:56,924 --> 00:07:58,634
They're pretending to shop for a house
144
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,115
and I'm pretending this isn't
a complete waste of my time.
145
00:08:01,126 --> 00:08:03,242
- Well, Susan felt the same way.
- When?
146
00:08:03,253 --> 00:08:05,003
- Did you talk to her?
- Naw,
147
00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:06,570
this was the last time Lara and Freya
148
00:08:06,848 --> 00:08:08,478
took her for a spin.
149
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,446
Don't you think maybe
you should check in?
150
00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:13,124
With Susan?
151
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,287
I'll see her at the charity
bowling thing this weekend.
152
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,123
Oh, right?
153
00:08:18,134 --> 00:08:20,160
That's, like, mandatory, right?
154
00:08:20,171 --> 00:08:22,181
You're an agent now.
It's part of the deal.
155
00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:24,382
Yeah, just testing the
fence for weak spots.
156
00:08:25,149 --> 00:08:26,653
Like a velociraptor.
157
00:08:26,704 --> 00:08:28,954
Anything back from the
lawyers in Budapest?
158
00:08:28,965 --> 00:08:31,795
It's been, like, half a day.
I don't want to be a 'pesht'.
159
00:08:31,966 --> 00:08:33,966
- Oh, I see what you did there.
- [ELEVATOR ARRIVING CHIME]
160
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,434
- [ZOOEY LAUGHS, SIGHS]
- I kill me.
161
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,228
[MISCHIEVOUS SCORE]
162
00:08:38,239 --> 00:08:41,039
Oops. I gotta go be a receptionist.
163
00:08:42,148 --> 00:08:43,262
Bye.
164
00:08:45,363 --> 00:08:46,684
So...
165
00:08:46,695 --> 00:08:48,235
how much do we love it?
166
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,868
May I help you?
167
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,331
"Please call me.
168
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:05,885
You're about to win the lottery."
169
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,514
Oh!
170
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,590
You are the cabin in the woods!
171
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,006
I live in the house in the woods.
172
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,765
And I don't play the lottery.
173
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,682
I was being a little clever.
174
00:09:17,972 --> 00:09:19,722
Very little.
175
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,734
Could we, uh, go in here and talk?
176
00:09:25,302 --> 00:09:26,962
Now, why would we do that?
177
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:31,401
Well, if you leave, you'll never know.
178
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,124
[MISCHIEVOUS SCORE CONTINUES]
179
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,000
- [BUZZING FROM SPEAKER]
- [SCORE FADES OUT]
180
00:09:48,526 --> 00:09:49,528
[BUZZING]
181
00:09:49,539 --> 00:09:52,289
This all looks so... science-y.
182
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,720
Hm. Vic Tandy,
183
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:58,176
a British engineer with
an interest in the occult,
184
00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:03,969
experimented with infrasound,
or low frequency sound.
185
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:07,447
Less than 2Ohz. 18.5 to be exact.
186
00:10:08,331 --> 00:10:10,621
Some called it the spirit frequency.
187
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:13,491
- [GENTLE SCORE]
- How's it work?
188
00:10:13,502 --> 00:10:16,712
Well, he theorized that sending
vibrations out at that frequency
189
00:10:16,723 --> 00:10:19,013
might start a dialogue with...
190
00:10:19,295 --> 00:10:21,085
God knows what.
191
00:10:21,386 --> 00:10:25,676
So, this disk can be used
like a cochlear implant:
192
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,288
If something extra-normal reaches out
193
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,298
it should vibrate your cochlear nerve.
194
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,340
And start a dialogue.
195
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,723
So, if Luke wears this thing,
196
00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:36,546
he'll have his Luke tingle back?
197
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,139
Well, I'm not certain
198
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,564
that it will enable him
to communicate verbally,
199
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:44,643
but it should enable
a certain... intuition.
200
00:10:44,862 --> 00:10:47,152
- Mm.
- The sense of a presence.
201
00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,614
[SHARP INHALE]
202
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,491
Can we agree to never use the term
203
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,243
"Luke tingle" again?
204
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:59,621
Yeah, let's. Mind if I
take it for a test drive?
205
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,292
Be my guest.
206
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,381
[HIGH-PITCHED BUZZING]
207
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,086
Kinda tingly.
208
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,760
- [CACOPHONY]
- Ow! Damn!
209
00:11:20,234 --> 00:11:21,694
- Wait, what's wrong?
- Oh!
210
00:11:21,705 --> 00:11:25,545
It went batshit crazy,
like an explosion of noises.
211
00:11:26,192 --> 00:11:27,453
Really?
212
00:11:28,294 --> 00:11:29,964
Ohh!
213
00:11:30,214 --> 00:11:31,674
Oh, whoa.
214
00:11:32,039 --> 00:11:34,308
So, that is what we are looking at.
215
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:35,899
- Hm.
- [SCORE FADES OUT]
216
00:11:35,989 --> 00:11:37,949
Your running dog capitalist lackey
217
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:41,130
wants to buy my idyllic
cottage in the pastoral woods
218
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:45,079
and tear it down for his tennis courts.
219
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:47,838
Well, don't forget about
the pool and the guest house.
220
00:11:47,849 --> 00:11:50,789
Yes. His desire to avoid
his relatives is so far
221
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,212
the only endearing thing about him.
222
00:11:53,544 --> 00:11:55,084
[BOTH LAUGH]
223
00:11:55,855 --> 00:11:57,565
Um, so, uh...
224
00:11:58,176 --> 00:11:59,636
[INTRIGUING SCORE]
225
00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:01,301
what do you say?
226
00:12:04,450 --> 00:12:05,839
No.
227
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,481
Kay. Kay?
228
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,195
Kay. [CLEARS THROAT]
229
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,982
I'm going to go way out
here on a limb ethically
230
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,240
and confide in you that
my client has way more
231
00:12:16,251 --> 00:12:18,961
money than sense. He will
overpay for your property
232
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:20,972
to an alarming degree.
233
00:12:21,383 --> 00:12:23,093
Oh.
234
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,834
Lucky, lucky me.
235
00:12:33,403 --> 00:12:35,203
You didn't have to come here.
236
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:38,624
All I did was drop off a
not-so-clever business card.
237
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,630
You could have let
it go, but you didn't.
238
00:12:42,115 --> 00:12:43,210
Fair enough.
239
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:44,851
Well, we could talk about this over...
240
00:12:45,439 --> 00:12:47,779
I don't know... dinner?
241
00:12:49,425 --> 00:12:52,845
I do have to eat. Occasionally.
242
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:55,654
- How about tonight? I could...
- I have plans tonight.
243
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,355
Tomorrow?
244
00:12:57,658 --> 00:12:59,198
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
245
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:03,821
My nights are full and rich,
246
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,700
so I like to eat early.
247
00:13:07,159 --> 00:13:08,699
Maybe Friday?
248
00:13:09,665 --> 00:13:12,285
Pick me up at my priceless
house around seven.
249
00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:15,200
Okay.
250
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,841
- [ELEVATOR ARRIVING CHIME]
- [DOORS OPEN]
251
00:13:19,558 --> 00:13:21,108
- Hm.
- [AUGUST] Who was that?
252
00:13:24,592 --> 00:13:25,673
Luke?
253
00:13:27,391 --> 00:13:28,851
Oh, just a homeowner.
254
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,102
I think you need to watch her.
255
00:13:34,767 --> 00:13:36,437
Closely.
256
00:13:36,721 --> 00:13:38,181
That's my plan.
257
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,782
[SCORE CRESCENDOS, FADES OUT]
258
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,366
[COYOTES HOWLING]
259
00:13:45,599 --> 00:13:47,649
I think you're being a hamster.
260
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,290
Just because I won't lie for you?
261
00:13:49,301 --> 00:13:51,601
It's hardly even a lie! If my mom calls,
262
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,621
just tell her I'm staying
with you that night!
263
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,460
I've stayed at your place lots of times!
264
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,215
And what if she wants to speak to you?
265
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,337
Then tell her I'm... I'm in the shower!
266
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:03,225
Or I'm out by the pool
giving cardiac massage
267
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,803
to a drowning nun!
268
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:08,137
- Dude, work with me!
- [OMINOUS SCORE]
269
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,108
If my parents find out,
there's gonna be trouble.
270
00:14:10,119 --> 00:14:11,659
They already don't like...
271
00:14:13,158 --> 00:14:14,355
Bruno?
272
00:14:19,382 --> 00:14:20,932
Bruno?
273
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,911
Come on, Bru, quit screwing around!
274
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,460
Very funny. C'mon, let's...
275
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,708
[UNINTELLIGIBLE TALKING]
276
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:46,225
[SCREAMING]
277
00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:51,814
Bruno!
278
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:58,726
[ELEVATOR ARRIVING CHIME]
279
00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:00,566
- [OMINOUS SCORE FADES OUT]
- [MISCHIEVOUS SCORE FADS IN]
280
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,441
Well, she said no. But in real estate,
281
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,858
"no" is where we start not where we end.
282
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,617
I'm sure that looks great
on a motivational poster
283
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,580
but it only pisses me off.
284
00:15:10,554 --> 00:15:11,900
Listen, I'm having dinner
285
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,763
with the homeowner
on Friday night, so...
286
00:15:13,774 --> 00:15:15,112
Well, that's great, Luke.
287
00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:17,253
Take her out to dinner, order some wine.
288
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:18,925
Hell, sleep with her if you have to,
289
00:15:18,976 --> 00:15:20,566
but get me that property.
290
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,343
I'll do my best.
291
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:24,133
[MISCHIEVOUS SCORE FADES OUT]
292
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,927
[NEWS ANNOUNCER] ... and
the recent disappearance
293
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,590
to a tragic incident
two and half years ago
294
00:15:29,048 --> 00:15:31,128
when the bodies of four teens were found
295
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,889
- completely drained of blood.
- [DOOR OPENING]
296
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,515
Police sources have neither...
297
00:15:34,526 --> 00:15:36,156
- [MISCHIEVOUS SCORE]
- Ladies!
298
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,944
Hi!
299
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,522
Tantalize me, Zooey. What
are we going to see today?
300
00:15:40,761 --> 00:15:42,431
Tantalize me, Freya.
301
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,652
Is there a world in which you
two actually buy something?
302
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:48,437
You do know that real estate agents
303
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:49,908
only make money off of sales
304
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:52,242
and wasting an agent's time if you have
305
00:15:52,307 --> 00:15:55,187
zero intention of buying is
the moral equivalent of...
306
00:15:55,317 --> 00:15:57,867
I don't know... robbing a liquor store?
307
00:15:57,878 --> 00:16:01,178
I hope we find something... perfect.
308
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,131
Something to die for.
309
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:05,634
I hope we fall in love at first sight.
310
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:09,007
I hope we find something so perfect
311
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,355
that my checkbook leaps out of my purse
312
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,221
and writes an earnest money deposit
313
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,267
before I can stop it!
314
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:16,931
But probably not.
315
00:16:17,751 --> 00:16:18,927
No.
316
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:24,935
[EXHALES] It's okay.
317
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,687
[SCORE FADES OUT]
318
00:16:26,698 --> 00:16:28,834
[LUKE] Miranda, our client
is willing to drop 15 grand
319
00:16:28,845 --> 00:16:30,167
off the price to repair the roof
320
00:16:30,178 --> 00:16:32,272
but there's nothing
wrong with the floors.
321
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,711
Of course! And your people are welcome
322
00:16:34,721 --> 00:16:37,235
to carpet over it when it's theirs!
323
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,156
It's unreasonable to
expect us to pay for them.
324
00:16:40,152 --> 00:16:42,282
No, no, no, no, no. Those
maple floors are gorgeous.
325
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,133
Carpeting over them would
be an act of vandalism.
326
00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:46,423
We're not going to
subsidize their bad choices.
327
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,377
Tell them about the 15
grand for the roof and then
328
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,258
tell them horror stories
about dust mites and mold.
329
00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:53,595
Scare their children
and then call me back.
330
00:16:53,873 --> 00:16:55,413
Okay, bye.
331
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:59,234
When there was only one set
of footprints in the carpet,
332
00:16:59,744 --> 00:17:01,794
that's when you were carrying me.
333
00:17:02,683 --> 00:17:04,393
What's up?
334
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,397
Tell me about that client
who was in yesterday.
335
00:17:07,634 --> 00:17:09,464
Not really a client. She
owns one of the properties
336
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:10,947
Erik Toft wants to buy.
337
00:17:11,274 --> 00:17:13,480
- What do you know about her?
- Not much.
338
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:15,581
Kay Bozer. She got an edge to her.
339
00:17:16,266 --> 00:17:17,726
No bullshit.
340
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,405
Kind of refreshing.
341
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,714
When she was in the office, she...
342
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,630
affected one of my devices.
343
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,212
[GENTLE SCORE]
344
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,797
What do you mean?
345
00:17:28,166 --> 00:17:29,955
It operates at a certain frequency
346
00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:33,046
that is sensitive to certain phenomena.
347
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,230
It could be a coincidence, but...
348
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,641
the device operated properly
again the moment she left.
349
00:17:40,490 --> 00:17:42,790
Will you be, uh, seeing the lady again?
350
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:46,193
We're having dinner
Friday, as a matter of fact.
351
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,321
Kinda hit it off. [CHUCKLES]
352
00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:50,903
So it's, uh...
353
00:17:51,144 --> 00:17:54,354
not an insidious plan
to get her to sell?
354
00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:56,745
No, my insidious plan
was to have a nice dinner
355
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,327
with an interesting lady.
356
00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:00,622
My first since Megan, in fact.
357
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:05,998
Would you, uh, be open to
trying a sort of experiment?
358
00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:10,796
This device is really quite subtle.
359
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,673
You wear it behind your ear.
360
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,640
- She won't even see that...
- I don't think so...
361
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,260
Luke, it's science.
362
00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,307
No! It's a dinner date with a nice lady.
363
00:18:18,579 --> 00:18:19,891
A nice lady
364
00:18:19,902 --> 00:18:23,112
who might just vibrate at 18.5 hertz.
365
00:18:24,218 --> 00:18:25,431
[SUCKS TEETH]
366
00:18:26,277 --> 00:18:27,718
Let me see it.
367
00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:41,407
See? No big thing.
368
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,831
I don't know. Feels creepy wearing a
369
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,376
metaphysical nicotine
patch on our first date.
370
00:18:46,387 --> 00:18:48,637
Science is often creepy.
371
00:18:49,373 --> 00:18:52,083
But, if it isn't activated,
she'll never know.
372
00:18:52,175 --> 00:18:54,795
- And if it is?
- Run away.
373
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,508
Run like hell.
374
00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,555
As fast as you can.
375
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,220
[SCORE CRESCENDOS, FADES OUT]
376
00:19:06,871 --> 00:19:08,461
[ZOOEY SIGHS]
377
00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:10,693
Ah! You're back.
378
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,986
- Oh-ho.
- [CHUCKLES]
379
00:19:13,016 --> 00:19:15,936
They are killing me, Augie.
380
00:19:16,277 --> 00:19:19,147
Not only are they draining me
of my will to sell real estate,
381
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,485
they are draining me of my will to live.
382
00:19:21,496 --> 00:19:22,817
[AUGUST CHUCKLES]
383
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:26,248
You should talk to Luke.
Just, uh, not right now.
384
00:19:26,782 --> 00:19:27,924
Why?
385
00:19:27,935 --> 00:19:30,605
It seems that, uh,
one of Susan's clients
386
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:34,716
is involved in a transaction
with one of Rita's clients
387
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:38,430
and Rita is unhappy about
Susan's extended sabbatical.
388
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:41,722
Rita Weiss: America's
real estate sweetheart.
389
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,717
So, what else is happening
in the real world?
390
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,349
Well, let's see...
391
00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:49,346
Uh, Luke is still trying
to close the Toft deals.
392
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:53,070
He has developed a
post-professional interest
393
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,532
in the woman who owns
the adjacent property.
394
00:19:55,948 --> 00:19:58,696
- My spirit frequency device was...
- Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!
395
00:19:58,707 --> 00:20:01,007
Did you just say post-professional?
396
00:20:01,471 --> 00:20:02,971
He's hot for her?
397
00:20:02,982 --> 00:20:05,417
Your words, not mine.
398
00:20:05,428 --> 00:20:09,808
Oh, my God! That'll teach me
to leave the office, like, ever!
399
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:11,587
Who is she? What is she like?
400
00:20:11,826 --> 00:20:13,326
We haven't met.
401
00:20:13,674 --> 00:20:15,036
But she, uh...
402
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,547
set off my device.
403
00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:18,264
[GIGGLES]
404
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,264
Apparently she did the same for Luke.
405
00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:25,063
[LAUGHS, SIGHS AT HER OWN CLEVERNESS]
406
00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:27,426
[SIGHS]
407
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,100
[SCORE FADES OUT]
408
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,652
So, Luke tells me you're
a licensed agent now.
409
00:20:36,076 --> 00:20:37,616
Congratulations.
410
00:20:38,310 --> 00:20:39,612
Thank you.
411
00:20:39,623 --> 00:20:41,163
- Hm.
- [MISCHIEVOUS SCORE]
412
00:20:42,026 --> 00:20:43,736
You know, I always liked you, Zooey.
413
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:47,295
You strike me as an oasis of pragmatism
414
00:20:47,984 --> 00:20:49,904
in a place obsessed with fantasy,
415
00:20:50,472 --> 00:20:53,450
like the last personal
injury attorney in a
416
00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:55,341
hastily assembled amusement park.
417
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,591
May I give you a piece of advice?
418
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,256
I guess so.
419
00:21:00,310 --> 00:21:02,570
Always give the client
420
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,182
what they need.
421
00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,315
Not what they want.
422
00:21:06,701 --> 00:21:08,089
Yeah? Hm.
423
00:21:08,180 --> 00:21:09,720
Do you know what I used to be?
424
00:21:10,605 --> 00:21:12,565
I got my masters in philosophy.
425
00:21:13,343 --> 00:21:15,763
Oh, yes. I focused on Kierkegaard.
426
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:18,886
The aesthetic, the
ethical and the religious.
427
00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:20,810
Well, you can imagine how
428
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,701
gracefully that interacted
with a career in real estate.
429
00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:25,828
Zero sales.
430
00:21:26,215 --> 00:21:29,068
- So, what did you do?
- So I shifted gears.
431
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,539
I focused on the
primacy of the individual
432
00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:34,705
and of individual concerns
above any abstract reality
433
00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,705
or grand metaphysical system.
434
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:40,506
Still couldn't sell a
salmon to a grizzly bear.
435
00:21:41,130 --> 00:21:42,303
This is all great stuff,
436
00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:44,176
but what am I supposed
to do with any of it?
437
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:47,853
I realized that I was vastly
overthinking the whole thing
438
00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:51,523
and that my clients
were ignorant doorknobs
439
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:54,524
incapable of articulating
their own desires.
440
00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:57,022
So, I looked at their lifestyles
441
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:59,899
and I showed them
corresponding inventory.
442
00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:03,237
I focused on what they deeply needed,
443
00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:05,534
not what they said they wanted
444
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,408
because seldom are they the same thing.
445
00:22:08,046 --> 00:22:09,484
- Preach!
- Mm.
446
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:13,715
The moment I fully embraced
my intellectual authority
447
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:17,919
and saw my clients as the
low-level primates that they are
448
00:22:18,629 --> 00:22:21,009
my business tripled overnight.
449
00:22:21,394 --> 00:22:23,620
I was able to pay off my student loans,
450
00:22:23,631 --> 00:22:26,171
buy a Cadillac Escalade...
451
00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:28,386
and divorce my husband.
452
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,434
So sad.
453
00:22:31,842 --> 00:22:33,552
Yet inspiring.
454
00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:35,734
Well, that's the big secret.
455
00:22:36,015 --> 00:22:38,565
You are smarter than your clients.
456
00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:42,741
I totally am!
457
00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:47,071
Oh, you might want to pass
it along to Captain Goodhair.
458
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:50,739
He still seems to think that
clients deserve our respect.
459
00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:53,120
- [BOTH LAUGHING]
- That's adorable.
460
00:22:53,247 --> 00:22:54,787
[BOTH LAUGHING]
461
00:22:55,666 --> 00:22:57,246
Oh.
462
00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,086
[SIGHS]
463
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,380
Still crazy.
464
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:04,046
[SCORE FADES OUT]
465
00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:06,054
How'd it go?
466
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:08,302
Well, he took the device.
467
00:23:08,429 --> 00:23:10,059
We'll see if he actually deploys it.
468
00:23:10,513 --> 00:23:11,880
There is something creepy about it,
469
00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:13,601
- you know?
- Yeah.
470
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:15,976
On the subject of creepy,
you know those missing kids?
471
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:18,609
Yeah, I've heard something about them.
472
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,221
Something rings a bell.
473
00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:21,732
[CREEPY SCORE]
474
00:23:21,859 --> 00:23:23,399
[BURBLING WATER]
475
00:23:25,029 --> 00:23:26,569
[CROW CAWING]
476
00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:38,787
[CROW CAWING]
477
00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:43,762
[UNINTELLIGIBLE FEMALE VOICE]
478
00:23:44,882 --> 00:23:47,092
Hey! Are you okay?
479
00:23:59,730 --> 00:24:01,270
[CREEPY SCORE INTENSIFIES]
480
00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:08,028
[HIGH-PITCHED RINGING]
481
00:24:14,078 --> 00:24:15,658
What's the matter?
482
00:24:24,380 --> 00:24:25,880
[SHUSHING]
483
00:24:28,011 --> 00:24:29,224
Hey!
484
00:24:29,559 --> 00:24:31,099
You shouldn't be here.
485
00:24:32,601 --> 00:24:34,731
This is where those... [SCREAMING]
486
00:24:34,890 --> 00:24:36,390
[WOMAN LAUGHING]
487
00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:40,346
[CREEPY SCORE FADES OUT]
488
00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:42,019
[RAP MUSIC; MAN VOCALIZING]
489
00:24:44,287 --> 00:24:45,957
Ladies, how was your day?
490
00:24:46,691 --> 00:24:48,685
'Cause it's about to
get a whole lot better.
491
00:24:48,696 --> 00:24:50,236
[RAP MUSIC INTENSIFIES, GETS LOUDER]
492
00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:54,532
[ENGINE REVVING, TIRES SQUEALING]
493
00:24:55,850 --> 00:24:57,944
So, there are two
houses left on the list
494
00:24:57,962 --> 00:24:59,422
Susan made up for you.
495
00:24:59,433 --> 00:25:01,103
We're coming up to the first one...
496
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:02,713
and...
497
00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:04,545
- we're driving away!
- What?!
498
00:25:04,670 --> 00:25:06,840
It's not right. Tiny
rooms, no natural lighting
499
00:25:06,964 --> 00:25:08,667
and the raccoons in the
yard? Yeah, they're not
500
00:25:08,678 --> 00:25:10,623
the helpful Disney kind.
They'll cut a bitch.
501
00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:12,434
- I still wouldn't mind...
- Nah, you hate it already.
502
00:25:12,740 --> 00:25:16,013
So, moving on to
bachelorette number two.
503
00:25:16,255 --> 00:25:19,465
Here she comes, and...
504
00:25:19,594 --> 00:25:21,134
- there she goes.
- Wait! Slow down.
505
00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:22,905
Bye!
506
00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:24,522
Two bedrooms, two baths,
507
00:25:24,533 --> 00:25:26,453
fully finished basement
and a home office.
508
00:25:26,744 --> 00:25:28,914
All the stuff you wanted and
none of the shit you need.
509
00:25:29,224 --> 00:25:30,634
Zooey, can't we just... ?
510
00:25:30,645 --> 00:25:32,282
Price is on the high side of your range.
511
00:25:32,293 --> 00:25:35,284
Add in the HOA fees and to
make PITI you're gonna need
512
00:25:35,295 --> 00:25:37,643
a bake sale every month, which
is going to be impossible. Why?
513
00:25:37,654 --> 00:25:39,694
Because your kitchen
is too frickin' small!
514
00:25:39,815 --> 00:25:42,119
So, that's it for Susan's houses.
515
00:25:42,130 --> 00:25:45,460
Now it's time for me to rock your world.
516
00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:47,918
- [TIRES SCREECH]
- [LAUGHING]
517
00:25:49,506 --> 00:25:50,966
[MUSIC FADES OUT]
518
00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:52,631
[CREEPY SCORE]
519
00:26:03,020 --> 00:26:04,600
[LOUD CACOPHONY]
520
00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:09,567
- [CACOPHONY FADES OUT]
- [CREEPY SCORE CONTINUES]
521
00:26:09,578 --> 00:26:11,328
Right on time.
522
00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:13,110
Hi.
523
00:26:16,575 --> 00:26:17,698
Look.
524
00:26:18,295 --> 00:26:19,835
It's a blood moon tonight.
525
00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:21,960
Pardon me?
526
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,621
A blood moon.
527
00:26:24,208 --> 00:26:26,668
The direct sunlight on earth
passes through the atmosphere
528
00:26:26,794 --> 00:26:28,464
and is projected onto the moon;
529
00:26:29,379 --> 00:26:31,299
Makes it all red and spooky.
530
00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:34,304
Hasn't happened for
two and a half years.
531
00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:37,637
So this is a special night.
532
00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:41,472
Very.
533
00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:49,480
[WOMAN VOCALIZING]
534
00:26:55,405 --> 00:26:56,985
[DRAMATIC BOOM]
535
00:26:57,407 --> 00:26:58,947
[DRAMATIC SCORE]
536
00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:18,967
[ENERGETIC VIOLINS PLAYING]
537
00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:30,145
[DRAMATIC BOOM]
538
00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:39,196
[SCORE FADES OUT]
539
00:27:43,245 --> 00:27:44,705
[KAY] I like your eyes.
540
00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:47,080
- [LIGHT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
- [KAY LAUGHS]
541
00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:49,581
No, I do.
542
00:27:50,586 --> 00:27:52,296
They've seen a lot.
543
00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:59,428
Most men your age... our age...
544
00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:02,063
still have the eyes of adolescent boys.
545
00:28:03,223 --> 00:28:06,023
Too many Saturday open houses
will do that to a person.
546
00:28:06,143 --> 00:28:07,693
[KAY CHUCKLES]
547
00:28:09,688 --> 00:28:11,558
So, you're not seeing anyone?
548
00:28:13,609 --> 00:28:15,149
Nobody special.
549
00:28:16,500 --> 00:28:17,806
You?
550
00:28:17,817 --> 00:28:19,367
Mm-mm.
551
00:28:19,448 --> 00:28:21,948
Well, that's about to change.
552
00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:26,366
You're somebody special?
553
00:28:27,970 --> 00:28:30,430
You have no idea.
554
00:28:31,585 --> 00:28:33,805
So, here we are. The steak tartare.
555
00:28:34,796 --> 00:28:37,385
And the roasted Cornish
hen for the gentleman.
556
00:28:38,884 --> 00:28:40,514
[CREEPY TINKLING]
557
00:28:41,256 --> 00:28:42,796
Anything else?
558
00:28:45,349 --> 00:28:46,889
Anything at all?
559
00:28:49,603 --> 00:28:50,785
Please?
560
00:28:52,525 --> 00:28:55,025
We're good. Thanks.
561
00:28:57,773 --> 00:28:59,773
Everything looks delicious.
562
00:29:00,187 --> 00:29:01,857
You look delicious.
563
00:29:14,294 --> 00:29:15,844
[CAR ENGINE TURNS OFF]
564
00:29:17,951 --> 00:29:19,501
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]
565
00:29:22,138 --> 00:29:23,678
Ta-da!
566
00:29:24,293 --> 00:29:27,583
Two bedrooms; Two
baths; Gorgeous sunroom.
567
00:29:27,594 --> 00:29:30,764
All living space on one
level, no finished basement.
568
00:29:31,107 --> 00:29:33,109
Finished basement was on the list.
569
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:36,290
You don't need one.
There's tons of storage.
570
00:29:36,438 --> 00:29:39,058
Just picture yourself in the space.
571
00:29:39,181 --> 00:29:41,811
Your couch, your photos on the wall,
572
00:29:41,822 --> 00:29:45,492
your favorite meal cooking in the
fully functional, spacious kitchen.
573
00:29:45,865 --> 00:29:48,077
Just picture the house
for what it could be
574
00:29:48,088 --> 00:29:50,128
with your undies in the drawer.
575
00:29:50,914 --> 00:29:52,374
Is the neighborhood safe?
576
00:29:52,599 --> 00:29:55,519
Of course. You need to be safe.
577
00:29:55,544 --> 00:29:57,884
You need to be happy. You need sunshine.
578
00:29:58,005 --> 00:30:00,555
But most of all, you need
to come home every night
579
00:30:00,674 --> 00:30:02,724
and close the door against the world
580
00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:05,720
in a house that loves you back.
581
00:30:06,763 --> 00:30:08,433
We can afford something fancier.
582
00:30:08,557 --> 00:30:10,557
This point in your lives, you
don't need to be house poor.
583
00:30:10,796 --> 00:30:12,466
You need to be life rich.
584
00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:15,267
I mean, with this house you
can still afford fancy wines
585
00:30:15,397 --> 00:30:16,977
and concert tickets;
586
00:30:17,026 --> 00:30:19,896
Vacations somewhere warm and
impractical anniversary gifts.
587
00:30:20,219 --> 00:30:21,570
[CHUCKLING]
588
00:30:21,581 --> 00:30:24,171
And all in a place that feels like home.
589
00:30:26,402 --> 00:30:28,072
I do kinda love it.
590
00:30:28,216 --> 00:30:30,543
[SIGHS] It's such a big decision.
591
00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:34,042
Hey, I can only find you the
house you were born to live in.
592
00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:35,956
Can't give you the cojones to buy it.
593
00:30:38,378 --> 00:30:39,959
[LIGHT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
594
00:30:39,970 --> 00:30:41,973
Well, and the place has been
in my family for generations.
595
00:30:41,984 --> 00:30:45,290
It's just simpler to keep the
title with the firm in Budapest.
596
00:30:45,301 --> 00:30:47,469
You know, tax purposes and all.
597
00:30:47,857 --> 00:30:51,141
And just like that we're
back to talking business.
598
00:30:52,642 --> 00:30:54,192
Okay.
599
00:30:54,728 --> 00:30:56,268
Let's stop fighting it.
600
00:30:57,356 --> 00:30:58,896
Let's give in.
601
00:31:00,567 --> 00:31:02,737
Well, I'm not going to
give you a hard sell here.
602
00:31:03,362 --> 00:31:04,902
What a relief.
603
00:31:05,655 --> 00:31:08,525
I bet you can be terribly persuasive.
604
00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:11,157
To the point of irresistibility.
605
00:31:12,621 --> 00:31:14,161
I'm just going to tell you one thing:
606
00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:16,883
You will never get nearly as much
607
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:20,040
as my client is willing to pay
for your property right now.
608
00:31:20,921 --> 00:31:22,461
Ever.
609
00:31:23,340 --> 00:31:24,880
Ooh.
610
00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:26,840
Never.
611
00:31:27,692 --> 00:31:30,753
That's such a long time.
612
00:31:30,764 --> 00:31:32,394
[CREEPY TINKLING]
613
00:31:33,394 --> 00:31:34,464
Long...
614
00:31:35,687 --> 00:31:36,764
time.
615
00:31:38,964 --> 00:31:41,127
- Hey, Luke. So, I've got good news
- [MISCHIEVOUS SCORE]
616
00:31:41,138 --> 00:31:42,473
and bad news.
617
00:31:42,484 --> 00:31:44,244
Uh, good news is that the Dunn-Herberts
618
00:31:44,361 --> 00:31:45,861
are no longer lookie-loos...
619
00:31:45,954 --> 00:31:47,744
they're buyers!
620
00:31:47,793 --> 00:31:50,163
Bad news is, uh...
621
00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:53,539
Yeah. It's a Rita Weiss listing.
622
00:31:53,550 --> 00:31:55,800
Hope we can still be friends! 'Kay, bye!
623
00:31:57,952 --> 00:31:59,026
Ooh.
624
00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:01,458
[MISCHIEVOUS SCORE FADES OUT]
625
00:32:02,337 --> 00:32:03,877
[GENTLE SCORE]
626
00:32:04,950 --> 00:32:06,089
August!
627
00:32:06,764 --> 00:32:08,724
So, I've been reading
up on Hungarian legends.
628
00:32:09,980 --> 00:32:11,940
Ah. The Budapest lawyer.
629
00:32:11,951 --> 00:32:13,640
Exactly. What's her name?
630
00:32:13,651 --> 00:32:15,321
The-the lady that
Luke's going out with?
631
00:32:15,392 --> 00:32:17,022
Bozer. Kay Bozer.
632
00:32:17,144 --> 00:32:18,694
- Look at this.
- [BOOK SLIDING ON DESK]
633
00:32:19,896 --> 00:32:21,356
[SCORE TURNS DARKER]
634
00:32:21,677 --> 00:32:23,517
Mm. Lovely.
635
00:32:23,658 --> 00:32:25,328
This is a Hungarian witch.
636
00:32:25,339 --> 00:32:27,309
Legend has it that she
has the power to fly,
637
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:30,541
or to transform herself into
a girl or woman of any age.
638
00:32:30,552 --> 00:32:32,682
Men and boys are helpless against her.
639
00:32:33,189 --> 00:32:34,859
Men and boys.
640
00:32:35,155 --> 00:32:37,695
Yeah, I've seen that
legend in several cultures.
641
00:32:37,706 --> 00:32:39,286
But the thing is, she can only survive
642
00:32:39,416 --> 00:32:40,876
by soaking in the blood of a living male
643
00:32:41,001 --> 00:32:42,591
in the light of a blood moon.
644
00:32:42,871 --> 00:32:46,121
The blood moon recharges her
until the next one comes along.
645
00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:49,625
Oh, dear. Those missing teenagers.
646
00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:53,390
Tonight is a blood
moon. The first in years.
647
00:32:54,848 --> 00:32:56,388
We need to warn Luke.
648
00:32:57,767 --> 00:32:59,767
Guess what they call her in Hungary?
649
00:33:01,476 --> 00:33:03,266
Boszorkány.
650
00:33:03,657 --> 00:33:04,703
Bozer.
651
00:33:04,714 --> 00:33:06,554
Close enough.
652
00:33:07,068 --> 00:33:08,608
[SCORE CRESCENDOS, FADES OUT]
653
00:33:12,449 --> 00:33:13,949
- [DRAMATIC BOOM]
- [URGENT SCORE]
654
00:33:15,091 --> 00:33:16,799
They really shouldn't
play Walking On Sunshine
655
00:33:16,810 --> 00:33:18,321
when you're on hold with 9-1-1.
656
00:33:18,332 --> 00:33:19,872
Try Luke again.
657
00:33:21,208 --> 00:33:22,708
[DRAMATIC BOOM]
658
00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:24,384
[SCORE TURNS SINISTER]
659
00:33:29,508 --> 00:33:31,048
[TURNS CAR OFF]
660
00:33:32,802 --> 00:33:34,222
[PHONE BUZZING]
661
00:33:37,349 --> 00:33:38,889
Come in for a nightcap.
662
00:33:39,017 --> 00:33:40,557
[CLICKS OFF PHONE]
663
00:33:41,737 --> 00:33:43,657
I'd love to.
664
00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:47,230
[SEATBELT CLICKS]
665
00:34:01,873 --> 00:34:03,623
[GLASSES CLINKING]
666
00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:07,249
[LIQUID POURING]
667
00:34:14,344 --> 00:34:15,854
It's Kékfrankos.
668
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:18,100
From Hungary.
669
00:34:18,682 --> 00:34:20,272
- [DRAMATIC BOOM]
- [GLASSES CLINK]
670
00:34:27,732 --> 00:34:29,532
[DRAMATIC BOOM]
671
00:34:29,818 --> 00:34:31,358
Mm.
672
00:34:32,088 --> 00:34:33,708
Spicy.
673
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:35,259
(IN HUNGARIAN) You have no idea.
674
00:34:38,781 --> 00:34:40,611
You know,
675
00:34:40,776 --> 00:34:43,606
I'm very choosy about men, Luke.
676
00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:47,340
Boys, on the other hand.
677
00:34:47,518 --> 00:34:49,108
On the other hand.
678
00:34:49,595 --> 00:34:51,425
- Boys are a dime a dozen.
- [ECHOING]
679
00:34:51,590 --> 00:34:53,130
Dime a dozen.
680
00:34:53,717 --> 00:34:55,127
Boys are like wine
681
00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:57,140
that just went into the barrel.
682
00:34:57,151 --> 00:34:58,741
Just went into the barrel.
683
00:34:58,972 --> 00:35:00,682
They haven't become complex...
684
00:35:00,807 --> 00:35:03,387
complex, or interesting.
685
00:35:03,898 --> 00:35:06,927
They're just an amalgam of chemicals...
686
00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:08,478
[KISS]
687
00:35:09,345 --> 00:35:10,925
Hormones...
688
00:35:12,319 --> 00:35:13,859
testosterone.
689
00:35:14,931 --> 00:35:18,761
Boys are only good for two things:
690
00:35:19,995 --> 00:35:21,575
Keeping me young...
691
00:35:22,746 --> 00:35:25,326
and becoming men like you.
692
00:35:26,249 --> 00:35:28,709
- [HIGH-PITCHED TONE]
- Come.
693
00:35:52,938 --> 00:35:54,558
You know breaking and
entering is a crime.
694
00:35:54,569 --> 00:35:56,279
Heavens, yes! A very serious crime.
695
00:35:56,290 --> 00:35:57,840
Glad that's on your radar.
696
00:35:58,567 --> 00:36:00,487
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
697
00:36:00,784 --> 00:36:02,374
[KAY SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
698
00:36:03,119 --> 00:36:04,619
[DRAMATIC SCORE CONTINUES]
699
00:36:13,004 --> 00:36:14,554
[KAY SPEAKING HUNGARIAN]
700
00:36:18,218 --> 00:36:19,758
[KAY SPEAKING HUNGARIAN]
701
00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:26,563
[KAY SPEAKING HUNGARIAN]
702
00:36:31,349 --> 00:36:32,605
Luke!?
703
00:36:34,401 --> 00:36:36,071
[DRAMATIC BOOM]
704
00:36:36,820 --> 00:36:38,320
[CREEPY TINKLING]
705
00:36:38,921 --> 00:36:40,751
- Luke?
- [LUKE] Hm...
706
00:36:41,658 --> 00:36:43,238
She needs the moonlight.
707
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:45,720
Block the moonlight
708
00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:51,415
[KAY SPEAKING HUNGARIAN]
709
00:36:53,035 --> 00:36:55,955
Auggie! Snap out of it. Luke! Help Luke!
710
00:36:58,101 --> 00:36:59,691
[PHIL YELLS]
711
00:37:01,845 --> 00:37:03,435
[GRUNT]
712
00:37:04,848 --> 00:37:06,768
[KAY SPEAKING HUNGARIAN]
713
00:37:11,187 --> 00:37:12,687
[OPERATIC CHORAL SINGING]
714
00:37:14,524 --> 00:37:16,324
[IN HUNGARIAN] I'm waiting for you.
715
00:37:17,193 --> 00:37:18,863
[IN HUNGARIAN] Keep waiting, Boszorkány.
716
00:37:20,029 --> 00:37:22,279
[SHRIEKING]
717
00:37:27,787 --> 00:37:29,657
[WHOOSHING BREATH]
718
00:37:29,789 --> 00:37:31,369
[AUGUST] Let's get you out of here.
719
00:37:32,125 --> 00:37:33,635
[KAY] Where am I?
720
00:37:33,752 --> 00:37:35,382
[WIND BLOWING]
721
00:37:35,393 --> 00:37:36,943
What's-what's going on?
722
00:37:38,381 --> 00:37:40,631
- Oh.
- [DRAMATIC SCORE]
723
00:37:52,437 --> 00:37:53,977
[BURBLING]
724
00:37:58,610 --> 00:38:00,150
[BURBLING ECHOES]
725
00:38:06,826 --> 00:38:08,326
Yeah.
726
00:38:09,394 --> 00:38:10,944
I gotta be honest, big guy...
727
00:38:11,577 --> 00:38:13,127
she's kinda old for you.
728
00:38:14,167 --> 00:38:15,707
Redheads.
729
00:38:18,671 --> 00:38:21,241
[DRAMATIC SCORE FADES OUT]
730
00:38:22,208 --> 00:38:23,798
- [LIVELY MUSIC]
- [LIVELY CONVERSATIONS]
731
00:38:30,183 --> 00:38:32,183
[CHEERING]
732
00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:34,100
[HOOTING, APPLAUSE]
733
00:38:39,381 --> 00:38:42,264
Foot spray, spilt beer.
734
00:38:42,275 --> 00:38:43,815
Smells like...
735
00:38:45,214 --> 00:38:47,054
victory.
736
00:38:50,874 --> 00:38:53,214
Uh, let me know when Susan gets here.
737
00:38:54,875 --> 00:38:57,915
- Ha-ha, hi.
- There she is!
738
00:38:58,086 --> 00:38:59,586
My only very slightly younger
739
00:38:59,772 --> 00:39:03,152
but not even a little
more attractive sister.
740
00:39:03,269 --> 00:39:05,229
- Uh-huh.
- Get her a drink!
741
00:39:06,469 --> 00:39:08,549
I will tell you when to stop pouring.
742
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,890
- [OTHERS LAUGHING]
- [ZOOEY] Thank you.
743
00:39:15,198 --> 00:39:17,010
[COUGHING] Um...
744
00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:19,191
Uh, what is this?
745
00:39:19,315 --> 00:39:20,935
White wine shandy.
746
00:39:21,067 --> 00:39:22,567
[GROUP LAUGHING]
747
00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:25,364
We add elderflower liqueur to it.
748
00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:28,158
It's the official drink
of the "Listed Sisters"!
749
00:39:28,908 --> 00:39:30,408
It's our organized group
750
00:39:30,535 --> 00:39:33,125
of powerful female real estate agents
751
00:39:33,246 --> 00:39:36,366
that aren't at all
sad, or trying too hard.
752
00:39:36,499 --> 00:39:37,829
[OTHERS LAUGHING]
753
00:39:37,959 --> 00:39:39,709
- Sign me up.
- Ah.
754
00:39:39,836 --> 00:39:43,445
Zooey, I love your nails!
Where do you get them done?
755
00:39:43,456 --> 00:39:45,826
I, uh... do them myself. Um...
756
00:39:46,610 --> 00:39:48,514
I've always wanted to
get my helix pierced
757
00:39:48,525 --> 00:39:50,565
but I'm too scared.
758
00:39:50,889 --> 00:39:53,389
Ladies, ladies, relax. You'll all have
759
00:39:53,516 --> 00:39:54,976
your "Zooey time."
760
00:39:54,987 --> 00:39:57,787
After all, she's one of us.
761
00:39:58,135 --> 00:40:01,805
- [OTHERS CHANTING]
- One of us. One of us. One of us.
762
00:40:02,501 --> 00:40:03,712
[ECHOING] One of us.
763
00:40:03,723 --> 00:40:05,183
One of us.
764
00:40:05,194 --> 00:40:07,454
One of us. One of us.
765
00:40:07,681 --> 00:40:10,731
- One of us. One of us.
- [DISTRESSED VOCALIZING]
766
00:40:10,742 --> 00:40:14,252
No! Nooooo!
767
00:40:14,550 --> 00:40:16,180
[CRYING]
768
00:40:18,505 --> 00:40:20,980
- [SPAGHETTI WESTERN MUSIC]
- Huh.
769
00:40:21,770 --> 00:40:23,440
Oh-ho-ho...
770
00:40:25,806 --> 00:40:27,142
Luke.
771
00:40:27,832 --> 00:40:29,722
[SUCKS TEETH] Greg.
772
00:40:34,893 --> 00:40:37,023
- Nice to see you again.
- You as well.
773
00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:39,065
[COUNTRY AND WESTERN MUSIC]
774
00:40:39,187 --> 00:40:40,807
[BOWLING BALL SCATTERING PINS]
775
00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:42,609
Wah, wah.
776
00:40:42,732 --> 00:40:44,282
Anywho...
777
00:40:47,687 --> 00:40:49,937
- Are you okay?
- You get my messages?
778
00:40:49,995 --> 00:40:51,788
I did! That's great! You took a client
779
00:40:51,799 --> 00:40:53,509
that I never thought
would amount to anything
780
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:54,900
and you sold 'em a house!
781
00:40:54,911 --> 00:40:56,541
- A Rita house.
- A Rita house
782
00:40:56,663 --> 00:40:58,333
that we're still going to
make half commission on!
783
00:40:58,456 --> 00:41:01,416
From zero to payday.
I am so proud of you.
784
00:41:02,001 --> 00:41:03,751
And all it cost was my soul.
785
00:41:04,837 --> 00:41:08,467
It is a sale that us
grownups make every day.
786
00:41:08,883 --> 00:41:10,343
You did good.
787
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:11,928
- Oh, and hey...
- [GENTLE SCORE]
788
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:13,590
you are going to love this.
789
00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:16,722
I told Erik Toft that the
property he wanted to buy
790
00:41:16,849 --> 00:41:19,269
was the site of horrific
murders and bloodletting.
791
00:41:19,786 --> 00:41:21,301
Full disclosure, you know.
792
00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:22,772
And guess what he says...
793
00:41:23,249 --> 00:41:24,721
[LAUGHING] No.
794
00:41:24,732 --> 00:41:27,822
He says an ITF regulation tennis court
795
00:41:27,833 --> 00:41:30,423
is the only proper way
to honor their memory.
796
00:41:30,655 --> 00:41:32,875
So that sale is gonna happen, too.
797
00:41:32,957 --> 00:41:34,627
- Wow.
- Oh.
798
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,870
- Life is funny.
- You got that right.
799
00:41:44,499 --> 00:41:46,049
You seen Susan?
800
00:41:46,462 --> 00:41:48,132
This is her event!
801
00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:51,050
Uh...
802
00:41:51,602 --> 00:41:53,142
No, actually.
803
00:41:58,704 --> 00:42:00,254
I have to go.
804
00:42:00,718 --> 00:42:03,808
I planned the event.
People are counting on me.
805
00:42:03,996 --> 00:42:07,046
I've enjoyed having you
here these past few days.
806
00:42:07,541 --> 00:42:10,236
- We've bonded.
- [DOOR LOCKS ENGAGING]
807
00:42:10,361 --> 00:42:11,821
- [DRAMATIC BOOM]
- [LOCK ENGAGES]
808
00:42:11,832 --> 00:42:13,292
Unlock the door!
809
00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:15,201
[DESCENDING TONES
FROM SMART HOME DEVICE]
810
00:42:15,324 --> 00:42:16,874
Shut down security system.
811
00:42:17,505 --> 00:42:19,665
We've bonded, Susan.
812
00:42:19,829 --> 00:42:22,249
- Unlock the door!
- Don't go.
813
00:42:22,292 --> 00:42:23,792
House! Shut down...
814
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,040
[SCRAPING, RUMBLING]
815
00:42:27,754 --> 00:42:29,424
House! Let me out!
816
00:42:31,591 --> 00:42:33,131
[SCREAMING]
817
00:42:34,927 --> 00:42:36,467
[DRAMATIC BOOM]
818
00:42:41,184 --> 00:42:42,734
[DRAMATIC SCORE FADES OUT]
819
00:42:43,392 --> 00:42:44,691
[SMART HOME DEVICE CHIMES]
820
00:42:44,702 --> 00:42:46,242
[GENTLE PIANO PLAYING IN DISTANCE]
821
00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:50,898
[GENTLE SURF IN DISTANCE]
822
00:42:54,864 --> 00:42:56,324
[PIANO PLAYING FADES OUT]
823
00:42:56,588 --> 00:42:58,128
[FAST, STACCATO PIANO MUSIC]
824
00:42:58,542 --> 00:43:03,542
- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.addic7ed.com -
57302
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