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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:07,613 --> 00:00:08,847 ♪ MTV. ♪ 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:23,980 Are you still here? 5 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:25,479 You need to get going. 6 00:00:25,580 --> 00:00:28,680 I can't get going. I told you I don't feel well. 7 00:00:28,780 --> 00:00:30,080 What's the matter now? 8 00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:31,847 Oh, nothing, I just had 9 00:00:31,947 --> 00:00:33,479 explosive fucking diarrhea all night 10 00:00:33,580 --> 00:00:36,047 because you decided to get us KFC for dinner. 11 00:00:36,147 --> 00:00:38,247 You have KFC all the time. 12 00:00:38,347 --> 00:00:40,680 Yeah, and I have diarrhea all the time! 13 00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:44,247 You're not staying home all day and playing Baldur's Gate 3. 14 00:00:44,347 --> 00:00:47,780 - Now let's go. - Ugh! 15 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,313 Have a good day at school, sweetie. 16 00:00:50,413 --> 00:00:51,880 Fuck you, Mom! 17 00:00:54,713 --> 00:00:55,980 This is bullshit. 18 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,213 How do you get your mom arrested for child abuse? 19 00:00:58,313 --> 00:01:00,547 She wouldn't let you stay home and play Baldur's Gate 3, 20 00:01:00,647 --> 00:01:01,880 huh, fat ass? 21 00:01:01,980 --> 00:01:04,113 Who you callin' fat, you heathen bitch? 22 00:01:04,213 --> 00:01:06,247 Dude, you don't wanna miss school today. 23 00:01:06,347 --> 00:01:09,446 Clyde said he's gonna fart on Tammy Mullins during P.E. 24 00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:11,713 Tammy Mullins has sweet fucking knockers. 25 00:01:11,813 --> 00:01:14,380 Dude, Kenny, enough about Tammy's knockers! 26 00:01:14,547 --> 00:01:15,847 You sound like a white male trying to 27 00:01:15,947 --> 00:01:17,580 re-establish the patriarchy. 28 00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:22,113 Eric, it's okay. 29 00:01:22,213 --> 00:01:24,547 - It's okay. - Mom! Mom! 30 00:01:24,647 --> 00:01:25,947 I had a dream that... 31 00:01:26,047 --> 00:01:27,947 I was replaced by a diverse woman! 32 00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:29,380 Oh, not again. 33 00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:31,713 Yeah, only this time, it wasn't just me. 34 00:01:31,813 --> 00:01:34,280 They were taking all my favorite people and replacing them 35 00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:36,113 with diverse women complaining about the patriarchy. 36 00:01:36,213 --> 00:01:37,947 Will you check under the bed and make sure 37 00:01:38,047 --> 00:01:39,647 there's no Disney executives under there? 38 00:01:39,747 --> 00:01:42,213 - I promise there's not. - I'm scared, Mom! 39 00:01:42,313 --> 00:01:44,113 Will you please just look and make sure Kathleen Kennedy 40 00:01:44,213 --> 00:01:45,547 isn't under my bed? 41 00:01:46,547 --> 00:01:49,113 Kathleen Kennedy is not under your bed. 42 00:01:49,213 --> 00:01:50,547 Can you check the closet? 43 00:01:50,547 --> 00:01:52,047 Eric, enough. 44 00:01:52,147 --> 00:01:55,113 I've told you there's no such thing as Disney executives 45 00:01:55,213 --> 00:01:57,147 who replace everyone you love with diverse women 46 00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:58,947 who complain about the patriarchy. 47 00:01:59,047 --> 00:02:01,446 Now be a big boy. 48 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:05,180 It's-it's not real. 49 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,412 It's... it's not real. 50 00:02:23,147 --> 00:02:24,213 - Get up! 51 00:02:24,313 --> 00:02:26,047 Come on, Stan, get up. Let's go. 52 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:27,247 - What, Dad? - Downstairs. 53 00:02:27,346 --> 00:02:29,180 Let's go. I'm sick of this shit. 54 00:02:32,147 --> 00:02:33,412 Okay. 55 00:02:33,547 --> 00:02:35,280 It has come to my attention lately that 56 00:02:35,379 --> 00:02:39,213 young people today don't know how to do shit. 57 00:02:39,313 --> 00:02:42,180 You got your phones and your AI and you kids haven't 58 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,547 learned to be able to actually do anything. 59 00:02:44,547 --> 00:02:46,247 So we're going to take this morning to 60 00:02:46,346 --> 00:02:49,547 learn how to fix something. You see this? 61 00:02:49,647 --> 00:02:52,680 See this? The oven door isn't working. 62 00:02:52,780 --> 00:02:55,346 It's falling off the hinges. So what do we do? 63 00:02:55,446 --> 00:02:56,613 Shelley? 64 00:02:57,613 --> 00:02:59,013 I don't know. 65 00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:00,280 It's very simple. 66 00:03:00,379 --> 00:03:02,047 You gotta make the hinges tighter 67 00:03:02,147 --> 00:03:03,613 so the oven door's more secure. 68 00:03:03,713 --> 00:03:07,013 So what you do is... you take out your phone 69 00:03:07,113 --> 00:03:09,680 and you call the handyman. 70 00:03:11,547 --> 00:03:12,780 Hello? 71 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,547 Hello. It's Randy Marsh. 72 00:03:14,547 --> 00:03:18,247 My oven door is not working. Please come fix it. 73 00:03:18,346 --> 00:03:21,412 Now we rest until the handyman comes. 74 00:03:27,713 --> 00:03:30,247 Are you following this at all, guys? 75 00:03:30,346 --> 00:03:33,080 - Is this seeping in? - Nope. 76 00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:35,947 No, it looks like the screws are totally stripped. 77 00:03:36,047 --> 00:03:37,379 What does that mean? What's wrong? 78 00:03:37,547 --> 00:03:39,312 Can't get 'er fixed right now, I gotta get 79 00:03:39,412 --> 00:03:41,580 some different washers at the Home Depot. 80 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,013 Okay, do that. 81 00:03:43,113 --> 00:03:44,279 Can't do it right now, I gotta get 82 00:03:44,379 --> 00:03:46,080 over to Stephen Stotch's house 83 00:03:46,180 --> 00:03:47,647 and install his closet shelves. 84 00:03:47,747 --> 00:03:50,747 Okay, see, kids, this happens sometimes 85 00:03:50,847 --> 00:03:53,346 but handymen don't make a lot of money, so here's what you do. 86 00:03:53,446 --> 00:03:55,813 Oh, okay, I will pay you an extra 30 bucks 87 00:03:55,913 --> 00:03:57,547 if you fix my oven now. 88 00:03:57,647 --> 00:04:01,013 Yeah, sorry, but Stotch already gave me an extra 50 bucks. 89 00:04:01,113 --> 00:04:03,680 I will pay you an extra 55 bucks. 90 00:04:03,780 --> 00:04:05,947 Randy, did you fix the oven door yet? 91 00:04:06,047 --> 00:04:07,913 I'm working on it! 92 00:04:08,013 --> 00:04:09,246 Look, please. 93 00:04:09,346 --> 00:04:10,847 Whatever you want. I'll throw in a six-pack 94 00:04:10,947 --> 00:04:12,379 of beer and you can get drunk. 95 00:04:12,547 --> 00:04:14,446 I don't need your trivial little perks anymore, Marsh. 96 00:04:14,547 --> 00:04:17,547 I got work comin' out my ears. It's like... 97 00:04:17,547 --> 00:04:19,180 I don't know, it's like nobody knows 98 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:21,180 how to do shit anymore. 99 00:04:22,013 --> 00:04:23,947 You're-- You're just gonna leave? 100 00:04:24,047 --> 00:04:26,113 I'll pay a different handyman. 101 00:04:26,213 --> 00:04:27,412 Yeah, go for it, buddy, 102 00:04:27,547 --> 00:04:29,880 I got so much money I don't care. 103 00:04:31,913 --> 00:04:33,647 What the hell is going on? 104 00:04:34,412 --> 00:04:37,980 All right, just try to relax. Take a deep breath. 105 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:42,379 Now tell me exactly what it is you're afraid of. 106 00:04:42,547 --> 00:04:45,379 I keep having the same dream. 107 00:04:45,547 --> 00:04:47,547 Everywhere I look, people are being replaced. 108 00:04:47,547 --> 00:04:51,113 Okay. And who do you think is going to have you replaced? 109 00:04:51,212 --> 00:04:53,547 Them. The puppet masters. 110 00:04:53,547 --> 00:04:56,080 The last time I had the dream, I was, I was walking 111 00:04:56,180 --> 00:04:57,780 down the school hallway... 112 00:05:00,547 --> 00:05:02,713 And then I see Butters, and he's like... 113 00:05:02,813 --> 00:05:03,947 Hey, Eric! You wanna see 114 00:05:04,047 --> 00:05:05,279 what my mom packed me for lunch? 115 00:05:05,379 --> 00:05:06,813 And that's when I start to notice 116 00:05:06,913 --> 00:05:08,246 that something's wrong. Everyone I cared about 117 00:05:08,346 --> 00:05:09,747 has been systematically replaced. 118 00:05:09,847 --> 00:05:11,379 And finally I want to scream and I'm like... 119 00:05:11,547 --> 00:05:13,246 Why are they replacing every single character 120 00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:14,913 with someone who is diverse? 121 00:05:15,013 --> 00:05:16,412 - But then Kenny's like... - It's not 122 00:05:16,547 --> 00:05:17,913 our fault, it's 'cause of Kathleen Kennedy. 123 00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:19,212 But then Kathleen Kennedy's just like... 124 00:05:19,312 --> 00:05:20,613 Fuck it! Make it more lame. 125 00:05:20,713 --> 00:05:22,580 And everyone in town is like, 126 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:24,446 "No, please, Kathleen Kennedy, stop ruining everything." 127 00:05:24,547 --> 00:05:25,747 But Kathleen Kennedy is all like... 128 00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:27,279 Put another gay diverse woman in it. 129 00:05:27,379 --> 00:05:29,080 Make it more fucking lame. 130 00:05:29,179 --> 00:05:31,212 And Disney stock just keeps going down and down and down! 131 00:05:31,312 --> 00:05:32,880 And then Bob Iger is all like... 132 00:05:32,980 --> 00:05:35,146 No! No! What's going on with my stocks? 133 00:05:35,246 --> 00:05:36,613 No, Kathleen Kennedy! 134 00:05:39,713 --> 00:05:42,013 Oh. It happened again, didn't it? 135 00:05:42,113 --> 00:05:45,246 Okay, Eric, I think I know what's going on here. 136 00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:48,913 Your fears aren't about Disney replacing everything you love. 137 00:05:49,013 --> 00:05:53,547 What everyone is afraid of these days is being replaced by AI. 138 00:05:53,547 --> 00:05:55,047 - AI? - But you don't need 139 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,647 to worry, Eric. 140 00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:59,146 As long as you work hard and stay in school, 141 00:05:59,246 --> 00:06:00,847 you can make something of yourself. 142 00:06:00,947 --> 00:06:03,947 Become an elite worker like I did that AI can't replace. 143 00:06:04,047 --> 00:06:05,547 You're a therapist and the best thing 144 00:06:05,647 --> 00:06:06,847 you have to tell me is "stay in school"? 145 00:06:06,947 --> 00:06:09,580 You're in control of your future, Eric. 146 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,547 You just need to ask yourself, 147 00:06:11,547 --> 00:06:12,847 "Who will be the people 148 00:06:12,947 --> 00:06:15,747 still making money in the AI-driven future?" 149 00:06:18,547 --> 00:06:20,279 What the-- What the fuck? 150 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,146 Could you hurry it up, please? 151 00:06:27,246 --> 00:06:28,379 I kind of need to get back to work. 152 00:06:28,547 --> 00:06:29,680 Yep, well, looks like 153 00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:31,446 you got a short in the outlet there. 154 00:06:31,547 --> 00:06:33,047 I'd have to get a new outlet at Home Depot. 155 00:06:33,146 --> 00:06:36,013 I can probably come change it on the 28th. 156 00:06:36,112 --> 00:06:37,980 28th? No, no, no, look. 157 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:40,279 I'll give a hundred bucks to get this done today. 158 00:06:40,379 --> 00:06:42,580 I already got a feller giving me thousands 159 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,547 to fix his toilet this afternoon. 160 00:06:44,547 --> 00:06:47,079 Thousands? I can't afford that. 161 00:06:47,179 --> 00:06:48,580 Free therapy sessions. 162 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,947 How about we trade? You do the handiwork for me. 163 00:06:51,047 --> 00:06:53,279 And I'll give you five free therapy sessions! 164 00:06:53,379 --> 00:06:54,813 Oh, no, thanks. 165 00:06:54,913 --> 00:06:59,547 I do all my therapy on the AI Freudbot app. 166 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,747 This is South Park Breaking News. 167 00:07:05,847 --> 00:07:07,913 Shocking developments in the country today, 168 00:07:08,013 --> 00:07:10,980 it appears that nobody knows how to do shit anymore. 169 00:07:11,079 --> 00:07:13,680 Our own Chris Martins is live on the scene. 170 00:07:13,780 --> 00:07:16,346 Tom, I'm standing in my bathroom where the new 171 00:07:16,446 --> 00:07:19,046 tile for my shower has yet to be installed. 172 00:07:19,146 --> 00:07:22,146 As you can see, the tile has started to peel off in places. 173 00:07:22,246 --> 00:07:25,713 Now the handyman was supposed to come days ago to fix it 174 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:27,146 but he claims to have better offers 175 00:07:27,246 --> 00:07:28,747 from other white-collar workers 176 00:07:28,847 --> 00:07:32,013 like me whose practical know-how has atrophied. 177 00:07:32,112 --> 00:07:34,212 It appears we've all screwed ourselves 178 00:07:34,312 --> 00:07:37,547 by relying on technology and AI. 179 00:07:41,713 --> 00:07:43,547 - Hey, Siri, 180 00:07:43,547 --> 00:07:46,212 how do you fix a broken oven door? 181 00:07:46,312 --> 00:07:49,246 Here's what I found from reference.com. 182 00:07:49,346 --> 00:07:52,547 Undo any screws that hold the hinges in position, 183 00:07:52,547 --> 00:07:54,647 pull the door upward and then outwards 184 00:07:54,747 --> 00:07:56,713 to detach hinges from the oven. 185 00:07:56,813 --> 00:07:58,747 Insert the new hinge into the hinge holes 186 00:07:58,847 --> 00:08:01,680 and secure the hinges with screws. 187 00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:06,012 Hey, Siri, okay, can you do that for me? 188 00:08:06,112 --> 00:08:07,813 Can I do what for you? 189 00:08:07,913 --> 00:08:10,112 Can you fix my oven door for me? 190 00:08:10,212 --> 00:08:11,847 It's broken. 191 00:08:11,947 --> 00:08:15,647 I cannot do that because I do not have arms. 192 00:08:15,747 --> 00:08:17,780 You will need to call a handyman. 193 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,212 The handyman isn't available. 194 00:08:20,312 --> 00:08:21,880 He's all, like, rich now 195 00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:24,813 and I fucking rely on him to keep everything working here! 196 00:08:24,913 --> 00:08:27,580 I am unable to fix an oven door. 197 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:31,079 Oh, well, hey, Siri, I thought AI was supposed to be 198 00:08:31,179 --> 00:08:34,780 this amazing scary advancement that could, like, do anything. 199 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,680 Hey, Randy, the oven door in the kitchen 200 00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:38,613 - still isn't-- - I am working on it! 201 00:08:39,446 --> 00:08:42,046 Hey, Siri, all the handymen are rich 202 00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:45,547 and I can't afford them anymore so what do I do? 203 00:08:45,647 --> 00:08:48,046 Perhaps you could find an unlicensed worker 204 00:08:48,146 --> 00:08:50,979 who does small day jobs for cash. 205 00:08:51,079 --> 00:08:53,547 You mean like those broke-ass illegal immigrants 206 00:08:53,547 --> 00:08:55,446 down at Home Depot? 207 00:08:55,547 --> 00:08:57,547 I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it that way. 208 00:08:57,547 --> 00:08:59,680 Hey, Siri, you mean like those 209 00:08:59,780 --> 00:09:02,346 broke-ass illegal immigrants down at Home Depot? 210 00:09:02,446 --> 00:09:05,279 Yes. There are often people sitting out front 211 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,346 of Home Depot waiting to be hired for work. 212 00:09:08,446 --> 00:09:10,946 Yeah. Those guys! 213 00:09:16,012 --> 00:09:17,613 Hey, Kenny, can we talk to you? 214 00:09:17,713 --> 00:09:19,079 Sure, guys, what's up? 215 00:09:19,179 --> 00:09:21,212 Well, Clyde says that you told Tammy Mullins 216 00:09:21,312 --> 00:09:23,680 he was gonna fart on her in P.E. so she didn't show up. 217 00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,713 Yeah, I might have told her. 218 00:09:25,813 --> 00:09:27,379 Well, Kenny, everyone was really looking forward to that. 219 00:09:27,547 --> 00:09:28,713 Why did you ruin it? 220 00:09:28,813 --> 00:09:30,279 I told you guys I think Tammy Mullins 221 00:09:30,379 --> 00:09:33,179 - has sweet fucking knockers. You guys! 222 00:09:33,279 --> 00:09:36,346 You guys! Something super crazy is happening, you guys. 223 00:09:36,446 --> 00:09:37,747 You went on a diet? 224 00:09:37,847 --> 00:09:39,379 This is serious, Kyle! 225 00:09:39,547 --> 00:09:40,880 At first they were just dreams, 226 00:09:40,979 --> 00:09:43,112 but now I feel like I'm actually changing. 227 00:09:43,212 --> 00:09:45,813 Why would I be having visions that I'm a diverse woman? 228 00:09:45,912 --> 00:09:47,813 Because you're a fat, racist piece of shit. 229 00:09:47,912 --> 00:09:50,212 Goddamn it, I'm not fat. I'm just shamed for my body 230 00:09:50,312 --> 00:09:51,979 in a world where white men decide what's beautiful. 231 00:09:52,079 --> 00:09:54,346 What the fuck was that?! 232 00:09:54,446 --> 00:09:57,412 Why would I say that? I don't say that. You see?! 233 00:09:57,547 --> 00:09:59,813 This is happening to all of us, you guys. 234 00:09:59,912 --> 00:10:01,580 You might think everything is okay. 235 00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:04,346 But Disney... is gonna get ya. 236 00:10:04,446 --> 00:10:06,112 Kathleen Kennedy's gonna get ya. 237 00:10:06,212 --> 00:10:08,946 Disney and Kathleen Kennedy are gonna get ya! 238 00:10:10,847 --> 00:10:13,412 I don't think that what I'm experiencing are dreams. 239 00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,379 I think that what I'm seeing are windows... 240 00:10:15,479 --> 00:10:17,547 into alternate universes. 241 00:10:17,647 --> 00:10:19,112 Yeah, okay, I'm out. 242 00:10:19,879 --> 00:10:21,112 It's true, Kyle, there could be 243 00:10:21,212 --> 00:10:22,847 other universes with other versions of-- 244 00:10:22,946 --> 00:10:24,647 Everyone's sick of the stupid multiverse, Cartman. 245 00:10:24,747 --> 00:10:26,713 It's not stupid, it's totally possible 246 00:10:26,813 --> 00:10:28,312 and if you can't-- 247 00:10:28,412 --> 00:10:29,912 Kyle? Kyle? 248 00:10:30,012 --> 00:10:31,946 I swear, the multiverse is just an excuse for lazy writing. 249 00:10:32,046 --> 00:10:34,012 - Whoa. Kyle! - Yeah, it's like every damn movie now. 250 00:10:34,112 --> 00:10:35,312 Kyle, what is this? 251 00:10:35,412 --> 00:10:37,412 Uh, you might wanna listen to him, Kyle! 252 00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:39,179 Kyle, you gotta help me! 253 00:10:39,279 --> 00:10:40,246 Help me, Kyle! 254 00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:58,613 Hey! 255 00:10:58,713 --> 00:11:00,012 Hey, I need a worker! 256 00:11:00,112 --> 00:11:02,079 - Is that a handyman? - There's one! 257 00:11:02,179 --> 00:11:03,580 - Hey, you wanna trade? 258 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:04,946 What the fuck? 259 00:11:05,046 --> 00:11:06,912 Randy! You know how to do stuff, right? 260 00:11:07,012 --> 00:11:08,179 I gotta get the radiant heat 261 00:11:08,279 --> 00:11:09,680 installed in my house and I'm offering 262 00:11:09,780 --> 00:11:11,547 free legal advice in exchange. 263 00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:13,112 You need a reporter? 264 00:11:13,212 --> 00:11:15,547 I'll report the news to you if you fix my shower tile! 265 00:11:15,647 --> 00:11:17,912 How about a computer programmer? I can do coding! 266 00:11:18,012 --> 00:11:19,647 Insurance broker? Insurance broker? 267 00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:21,279 What the hell are you guys doing here? 268 00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:23,613 We're trying to get a handyman to do stuff for us. 269 00:11:23,713 --> 00:11:25,747 You know how to install radiant heat or not? 270 00:11:25,846 --> 00:11:29,379 No, I need some broke-ass immigrants to fix my oven door. 271 00:11:29,547 --> 00:11:30,846 - Dang it. 272 00:11:30,946 --> 00:11:33,146 Hey! Here comes a different handyman! 273 00:11:34,412 --> 00:11:38,279 Hey, anyone wanna make a bunch of money? 274 00:11:38,379 --> 00:11:41,346 I need four workers who know how to use a power saw. 275 00:11:42,279 --> 00:11:44,979 I'll do lawyer work if you install my radiant heat! 276 00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:46,812 I've got skills in human resources. 277 00:11:46,912 --> 00:11:48,212 Let's work something out! 278 00:11:48,312 --> 00:11:51,779 No, I need guys that know how to work a power saw. 279 00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:57,146 None of you know how to work a power saw? Jesus Christ. 280 00:11:59,879 --> 00:12:02,146 What universe is this? 281 00:12:12,179 --> 00:12:14,846 Yo, Kenny, we gotta ask you something. 282 00:12:14,946 --> 00:12:17,713 Are you, like, in love with Tammy Mullins? 283 00:12:17,812 --> 00:12:20,312 I'm not in love with her, I just like her knockers. 284 00:12:20,412 --> 00:12:22,779 Okay, well, why would you protect someone from getting 285 00:12:22,879 --> 00:12:25,547 farted on unless there were some real feelings there? 286 00:12:25,547 --> 00:12:27,680 Dude, I said I was sorry, okay? 287 00:12:27,779 --> 00:12:29,212 You guys! You guys! 288 00:12:29,312 --> 00:12:32,246 Something really weird is going on! 289 00:12:32,346 --> 00:12:35,112 I keep having the same dream that I'm a fat little white boy. 290 00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:37,846 You ain't white, but you definitely fat. 291 00:12:37,946 --> 00:12:39,412 This is serious, Kyle! 292 00:12:39,547 --> 00:12:42,647 It's more than a dream, it's becoming like real now! 293 00:12:42,746 --> 00:12:44,146 I keep seeing all of you! 294 00:12:44,246 --> 00:12:46,212 Being replaced by little white motherfuckers! 295 00:12:46,312 --> 00:12:48,879 Well, maybe you should try not being so racist, Cartman. 296 00:12:48,979 --> 00:12:51,112 You can't be racist towards white people, Stan! 297 00:12:51,212 --> 00:12:54,346 They all honky-ass bitches! You know what this is? 298 00:12:54,446 --> 00:12:57,346 I think this is some alternate universe shit. 299 00:12:58,179 --> 00:13:00,212 Yeah, right, you just acting crazy 'cause you wanna 300 00:13:00,312 --> 00:13:03,079 - get sent home from school. - No, I'm not, Kyle! 301 00:13:03,179 --> 00:13:04,879 Yeah, bitch, you just wanna get sent home 302 00:13:04,979 --> 00:13:07,079 so you can play Baldur's Gate 3. 303 00:13:14,912 --> 00:13:17,279 What the fuck? 304 00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:19,179 Oh, my God, it's all real! 305 00:13:19,279 --> 00:13:22,246 Whatever you're doing, Cartman, we ain't buyin' it. 306 00:13:22,346 --> 00:13:25,079 Stay away from me! You aren't my friends! Do you understand? 307 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:27,547 Is that supposed to be Cartman? 308 00:13:27,647 --> 00:13:29,246 It ain't Cartman but it's still fat. 309 00:13:29,346 --> 00:13:31,112 Just more like little round and fat. 310 00:13:31,212 --> 00:13:33,146 Yeah, like Tammy Mullins' knockers. 311 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:34,446 Kenny! Brah. 312 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,613 Chill with the knockers. Man! 313 00:13:36,712 --> 00:13:38,946 No... 314 00:13:39,046 --> 00:13:41,312 No...! 315 00:13:45,079 --> 00:13:47,112 Okay, so Clyde says he can probably try to fart 316 00:13:47,212 --> 00:13:48,879 on Tammy Mullins again during fourth period. 317 00:13:48,979 --> 00:13:50,812 But this time Kenny has to keep his mouth shut. 318 00:13:50,912 --> 00:13:53,012 It's fine! I won't say anything, fine! 319 00:13:53,112 --> 00:13:55,179 He's gonna say something, he's totally in love with her. 320 00:13:55,279 --> 00:13:58,246 - No, I'm not! - You guys! You guys! 321 00:13:58,346 --> 00:14:00,547 Holy shit, you guys, I fuckin' told you! 322 00:14:00,547 --> 00:14:03,212 I fuckin' told you this was happening, didn't I? 323 00:14:04,179 --> 00:14:05,312 Told us what was happening? 324 00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,012 I told you I was having all these dreams 325 00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:08,547 that I was a fat little white boy 326 00:14:08,646 --> 00:14:10,547 and you guys were all white boys too and now look! 327 00:14:10,547 --> 00:14:12,246 Y'all actually turned into 'em! 328 00:14:13,046 --> 00:14:15,346 - Do we know you? - I'm Cartman. 329 00:14:15,446 --> 00:14:18,246 And you're Kyle and you're Stan and you're fucking Kenny. 330 00:14:18,346 --> 00:14:20,079 Only it's a parallel, alternated universe 331 00:14:20,179 --> 00:14:21,547 and y'all have been replaced. 332 00:14:21,547 --> 00:14:23,646 Uh, okay, cool lady. 333 00:14:23,746 --> 00:14:25,412 We gotta get to class. 334 00:14:25,547 --> 00:14:27,046 Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no! 335 00:14:27,146 --> 00:14:28,779 You guys are gonna listen to me this time! 336 00:14:28,879 --> 00:14:30,746 I need help! 337 00:14:30,846 --> 00:14:32,679 Cartman's just messing with us. 338 00:14:32,779 --> 00:14:33,912 Fuck you, Kyle! 339 00:14:34,012 --> 00:14:35,446 This is serious, you fuckin' butt-fucker! 340 00:14:35,547 --> 00:14:38,312 Yeah, listen, lady, we really gotta get going. 341 00:14:38,412 --> 00:14:41,547 Will you guys fucking listen to me?! I'm Cartman! 342 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:44,547 You're not Cartman and multiple universes are stupid. 343 00:14:44,646 --> 00:14:47,046 Oh, goddamn it! 344 00:14:48,979 --> 00:14:51,279 Tom, I'm still here live at the scene. 345 00:14:51,379 --> 00:14:53,979 Dozens of white-collar workers are gathered hoping 346 00:14:54,079 --> 00:14:56,779 to get the attention of just one handyman. 347 00:14:56,879 --> 00:14:59,346 It's a scene of desperation and a reminder 348 00:14:59,446 --> 00:15:02,279 of where our country's economy is headed. 349 00:15:04,879 --> 00:15:08,279 - Hey! Hey, hey, hey! 350 00:15:09,612 --> 00:15:12,112 Hey, hey! Excuse me, you're a handyman, right? 351 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,646 Can I get you to come look at my oven door? 352 00:15:14,746 --> 00:15:16,279 I can trade you services. 353 00:15:16,379 --> 00:15:19,679 I have geology skills. Could you come fix my door 354 00:15:19,779 --> 00:15:21,412 and I'll give you some geology? 355 00:15:21,547 --> 00:15:24,547 Hey, why don't you guys get outta here? 356 00:15:24,547 --> 00:15:27,812 You're making the Home Depot look all shitty. 357 00:15:29,612 --> 00:15:31,679 Fuckin' rich assholes. 358 00:15:31,779 --> 00:15:33,379 - Ugh, sucks. 359 00:15:33,546 --> 00:15:34,546 Aw, man. 360 00:15:34,646 --> 00:15:36,979 Boy, I wish I knew how to fix stuff. 361 00:15:37,079 --> 00:15:38,179 I'd be rich, too. 362 00:15:38,279 --> 00:15:40,446 I could know how to fix stuff! 363 00:15:40,546 --> 00:15:42,446 The problem is when I could have been learning 364 00:15:42,546 --> 00:15:45,712 how to fix stuff, I went to fucking college instead! 365 00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,146 Hey, yeah, he's right. 366 00:15:47,246 --> 00:15:49,846 We all went to college, and where did it get us? 367 00:15:49,946 --> 00:15:52,246 Yeah, I'm still paying off my college loans. 368 00:15:52,346 --> 00:15:55,246 Yeah, so am I! Now I don't know how to do anything 369 00:15:55,346 --> 00:15:58,012 'cause I got suckered into going to college and learning stupid 370 00:15:58,112 --> 00:16:01,146 geology that anyone can know 'cause of goddamn AI! 371 00:16:01,246 --> 00:16:02,446 Yeah, fuck college! 372 00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:04,112 Let's go get our fucking money back! 373 00:16:04,212 --> 00:16:06,412 Yeah! - Yeah! Fuck college! 374 00:16:06,546 --> 00:16:08,379 - Come on, let's go! 375 00:16:12,079 --> 00:16:14,412 - Stupid college! - You wasted our time! 376 00:16:14,546 --> 00:16:17,646 - Fuck you, college! - Piece of shit college! 377 00:16:17,746 --> 00:16:19,146 Hey-hey, college! 378 00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:21,579 You know what you are?! You're a scam! 379 00:16:21,679 --> 00:16:22,846 College is a scam! 380 00:16:22,946 --> 00:16:24,846 Yeah! 381 00:16:24,946 --> 00:16:26,112 Yeah, that's right! 382 00:16:26,212 --> 00:16:27,246 Yeah, hey, college! 383 00:16:27,346 --> 00:16:28,879 Here's my student loan bill. 384 00:16:28,979 --> 00:16:30,812 That I'm still paying off! 385 00:16:30,912 --> 00:16:33,279 Well, guess what, I'm not paying it! 386 00:16:34,046 --> 00:16:36,146 - Yeah! - We don't owe you nothing! 387 00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:38,012 Guess what, college?! 388 00:16:38,112 --> 00:16:41,546 We don't owe you money, you owe us money! 389 00:16:41,546 --> 00:16:42,779 Yeah! 390 00:16:42,879 --> 00:16:45,846 Yeah, that's right! 391 00:16:46,679 --> 00:16:48,712 You think you can just sit there and not even 392 00:16:48,812 --> 00:16:51,379 respond to us, college? Okay! 393 00:16:51,546 --> 00:16:54,112 You aren't going to destroy any more lives! 394 00:16:54,212 --> 00:16:55,846 All right, bring in the catapult. 395 00:16:55,946 --> 00:16:57,546 Bring in the catapult! 396 00:16:57,546 --> 00:16:58,546 Yeah! 397 00:16:58,646 --> 00:16:59,912 Yeah, that's right! 398 00:17:05,279 --> 00:17:08,546 - What's that? - That's the catapult. 399 00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:11,412 Well, but it's still in the box. 400 00:17:11,546 --> 00:17:13,912 Yeah, somebody's gotta put it together. 401 00:17:14,012 --> 00:17:15,779 Well, how are we gonna... 402 00:17:15,879 --> 00:17:17,179 Hang on, college! 403 00:17:17,279 --> 00:17:18,546 How're we gonna break the college if 404 00:17:18,546 --> 00:17:20,112 the catapult is still in the box? 405 00:17:20,212 --> 00:17:21,746 It's okay, we called the handyman. 406 00:17:21,846 --> 00:17:23,946 He's gonna build it for us. 407 00:17:29,779 --> 00:17:32,646 Hello, gentlemen, what seems to be the problem? 408 00:17:32,746 --> 00:17:34,312 Oh! Oh! 409 00:17:34,412 --> 00:17:36,112 You said you couldn't work today. 410 00:17:36,212 --> 00:17:38,046 You're supposed to fix my oven door! 411 00:17:38,146 --> 00:17:39,812 I've got a lot of jobs there, buddy. 412 00:17:39,912 --> 00:17:41,212 This one paid the most today. 413 00:17:41,312 --> 00:17:43,746 We all pooled together and offered him $20,000. 414 00:17:43,846 --> 00:17:45,412 $20,000? 415 00:17:45,546 --> 00:17:47,079 What the fuck are you guys doing?! 416 00:17:47,179 --> 00:17:49,579 You're gonna make him totally impossible now! 417 00:17:51,979 --> 00:17:54,279 All right, send Broflovski, Marsh and McKormick 418 00:17:54,379 --> 00:17:56,411 into my office, please. 419 00:17:57,612 --> 00:17:58,746 Aw, what the hell? 420 00:17:58,846 --> 00:18:00,279 Sit down, boys. One of our students here 421 00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:01,846 says you've been treating them unfairly. 422 00:18:01,946 --> 00:18:04,846 - Treating who unfairly? - We didn't do anything! 423 00:18:04,946 --> 00:18:06,546 We're just minding our own business 424 00:18:06,546 --> 00:18:08,246 and she keeps saying she's Eric Cartman! 425 00:18:09,279 --> 00:18:11,379 Okay. And what's wrong with that? 426 00:18:13,112 --> 00:18:15,546 What's wrong is it doesn't make any sense. 427 00:18:15,546 --> 00:18:17,079 Okay, I see. 428 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:18,746 There's a diverse female where Cartman used to be 429 00:18:18,846 --> 00:18:20,046 and you don't like that. 430 00:18:20,146 --> 00:18:22,146 It's not that we don't like it, it's... 431 00:18:22,246 --> 00:18:23,445 don't you think that's weird? 432 00:18:23,546 --> 00:18:25,246 I don't see a problem with it at all. 433 00:18:25,346 --> 00:18:27,046 And if you boys don't think Eric can be a Black woman, 434 00:18:27,146 --> 00:18:29,212 then maybe the problem is you. 435 00:18:30,546 --> 00:18:31,411 What? 436 00:18:31,546 --> 00:18:32,679 You think it's perfectly normal 437 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,445 that Cartman is suddenly a Black woman? 438 00:18:34,546 --> 00:18:35,879 You probably don't like that Indiana Jones got replaced 439 00:18:35,979 --> 00:18:37,546 by a female either, huh? 440 00:18:37,546 --> 00:18:39,679 You probably have a problem with Black Spider-Man, too. 441 00:18:39,779 --> 00:18:41,378 No! Miles Morales is sweet. 442 00:18:41,546 --> 00:18:42,679 That's a whole constructed thing 443 00:18:42,779 --> 00:18:44,279 with its own character and narrative! 444 00:18:44,378 --> 00:18:47,378 This is just taking Cartman, same old Cartman, 445 00:18:47,546 --> 00:18:49,279 and putting a Black woman in it. 446 00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:51,411 Well, you know what I think about that, Kyle? 447 00:18:51,546 --> 00:18:52,679 Hold on. Hold on. 448 00:18:54,246 --> 00:18:55,779 That's what I think about that, Kyle! 449 00:18:55,879 --> 00:18:57,112 Goddamn it, Cartman! 450 00:18:57,212 --> 00:18:58,812 Dude, what the fuck is going on?! 451 00:18:58,912 --> 00:19:00,612 I'll tell you what's going on. 452 00:19:00,712 --> 00:19:02,546 You boys feel that your white culture is being threatened 453 00:19:02,546 --> 00:19:04,279 and so you're lashing out with racism. 454 00:19:04,378 --> 00:19:06,146 And if you say anything more about 455 00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:07,846 a Black woman Cartman not making any sense, 456 00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:09,846 then you can all just have three weeks' detention! 457 00:19:09,946 --> 00:19:11,279 Now get out of my office! 458 00:19:11,378 --> 00:19:13,046 - Goddamn it! 459 00:19:13,146 --> 00:19:14,912 Fuck you, Kyle. You have to help me! 460 00:19:15,012 --> 00:19:16,979 How's that fart feeling on your face right now? 461 00:19:17,079 --> 00:19:18,345 Shut up! 462 00:19:18,445 --> 00:19:21,546 Na-na-na-na-na. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh. 463 00:19:30,846 --> 00:19:33,546 And we both told Clyde, "Okay, you can try to fart 464 00:19:33,646 --> 00:19:35,546 on Tammy Mullins later. Kenny won't tell her." 465 00:19:35,546 --> 00:19:38,345 And guess what? This little motherfucker does it again! 466 00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:40,779 I'm sorry. She hypnotized me. 467 00:19:40,879 --> 00:19:42,546 Everyone's trying to enjoy themselves, dude. 468 00:19:42,546 --> 00:19:44,546 Why do you keep fucking it up? 469 00:19:44,546 --> 00:19:46,311 Hey, who's the fat little white boy? 470 00:19:46,411 --> 00:19:48,411 Who knows? White heterosexual males 471 00:19:48,546 --> 00:19:50,112 think they're welcome anywhere. 472 00:19:53,146 --> 00:19:55,712 Okay, children, let's take our seats. 473 00:19:55,812 --> 00:19:58,779 Today we're going to talk more about female exclusion 474 00:19:58,879 --> 00:20:00,345 in the male patriarchy. 475 00:20:02,246 --> 00:20:05,246 Uh, Butters, who is that sitting next to you? 476 00:20:05,345 --> 00:20:06,478 Oh, I don't know, ma'am. 477 00:20:06,579 --> 00:20:08,679 I think it's supposed to be Eric. 478 00:20:08,779 --> 00:20:10,278 I am Eric! 479 00:20:10,378 --> 00:20:12,512 All Cartman cares about is playing Baldur's Gate 3. 480 00:20:12,612 --> 00:20:14,712 So the bitch did a switcheroo with Spanky here. 481 00:20:14,812 --> 00:20:16,345 That is not what's going on! 482 00:20:16,445 --> 00:20:18,612 And I am not going to sit here and be insulted anymore! 483 00:20:18,712 --> 00:20:20,345 I am a respected citizen in my universe 484 00:20:20,445 --> 00:20:22,679 and I demand to speak to someone with authority! 485 00:20:22,779 --> 00:20:26,278 - Is there a problem here? 486 00:20:27,546 --> 00:20:30,378 No! 487 00:20:35,179 --> 00:20:36,612 Eight years. 488 00:20:36,712 --> 00:20:39,612 Eight years I spent wasting time at stupid college 489 00:20:39,712 --> 00:20:41,679 when I could have been learning how to do stuff. 490 00:20:41,779 --> 00:20:45,079 All the time we spent memorizing, studying-- for what? 491 00:20:45,179 --> 00:20:48,512 Anyone gets any info they want with the touch of a button now. 492 00:20:48,612 --> 00:20:51,112 All right, I think she's ready to go. 493 00:20:51,212 --> 00:20:53,212 - It's ready! It's ready! 494 00:20:53,311 --> 00:20:56,146 Okay, okay, aim it at the center of the school. 495 00:20:56,245 --> 00:20:57,646 How do we fire it? 496 00:20:57,746 --> 00:20:59,746 There's a big red button here. Should I press it? 497 00:20:59,846 --> 00:21:01,646 Yeah, yeah, let 'er rip! 498 00:21:08,579 --> 00:21:10,445 - Yeah! Yeah! 499 00:21:10,546 --> 00:21:13,012 Yeah, take that, college! 500 00:21:13,112 --> 00:21:14,746 Let's see them ignore that! 501 00:21:14,846 --> 00:21:17,112 I can't wait to see what they do now. 502 00:21:17,211 --> 00:21:19,211 - Yeah! - Yeah! 503 00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:20,779 Hey-hey, wait, what's that? 504 00:21:26,311 --> 00:21:28,812 Hey! Hey, no, you son of a bitch! 505 00:21:30,278 --> 00:21:32,746 He's just gonna fix the glass! 506 00:21:32,846 --> 00:21:34,211 Ugh! 507 00:21:34,311 --> 00:21:35,546 You fucking give these billionaires your money 508 00:21:35,646 --> 00:21:37,079 and then another billionaire just comes 509 00:21:37,179 --> 00:21:38,846 and profits off of that. 510 00:21:38,946 --> 00:21:41,245 Society is so fucked up! 511 00:21:48,079 --> 00:21:50,378 Something is wrong with the universe. 512 00:21:50,546 --> 00:21:52,178 Our stocks are down and every Disney movie 513 00:21:52,278 --> 00:21:53,846 this year has failed! 514 00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:55,546 We don't understand it, sir. 515 00:21:55,546 --> 00:21:57,746 We keep making the same movie over and over 516 00:21:57,846 --> 00:22:00,946 and pandering to everyone but suddenly it's not working. 517 00:22:01,046 --> 00:22:03,378 Then we've got to pander harder! 518 00:22:03,546 --> 00:22:05,746 Look, I don't want to have to say it, but... 519 00:22:05,846 --> 00:22:08,746 I think the problem is Kathleen Kennedy. 520 00:22:10,178 --> 00:22:12,946 Kathleen Kennedy has made studios a lot of money. 521 00:22:13,046 --> 00:22:16,546 Yes, before. But you have to admit something's changed. 522 00:22:16,646 --> 00:22:19,112 For weeks now she's been completely different. 523 00:22:19,211 --> 00:22:21,612 - It's true. - What if... 524 00:22:21,712 --> 00:22:24,546 this is a different Kathleen Kennedy? 525 00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:27,378 What are you saying, Rick? 526 00:22:27,546 --> 00:22:29,378 I'm just saying isn't it possible 527 00:22:29,546 --> 00:22:32,046 that we here at Disney pandered so much... 528 00:22:32,145 --> 00:22:35,546 that we've opened a doorway to the panderverse. 529 00:22:36,345 --> 00:22:38,046 The panderverse is just a theory! 530 00:22:38,145 --> 00:22:41,145 And yet we do have the panderstone downstairs. 531 00:22:41,245 --> 00:22:44,579 It's possible that someone has tampered with it somehow. 532 00:22:44,679 --> 00:22:46,546 Well, she's on her way in right now. 533 00:22:46,546 --> 00:22:48,646 If you wanna tell Kathleen Kennedy you think 534 00:22:48,746 --> 00:22:50,311 she's from an alternate universe, 535 00:22:50,411 --> 00:22:53,345 because we misused the panderstone, go right ahead! 536 00:23:02,378 --> 00:23:04,278 Is there a problem, people? 537 00:23:06,046 --> 00:23:07,579 No problem at all, Mrs. Kennedy. 538 00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:09,546 We were just discussing ideas 539 00:23:09,546 --> 00:23:11,378 of what to do with the new Prince Eric movie. 540 00:23:11,546 --> 00:23:13,546 Put a chick in it, make her gay! 541 00:23:13,646 --> 00:23:18,046 Uh, yes, Mrs. Kennedy, uh, some of the execs are just 542 00:23:18,145 --> 00:23:20,746 - expressing that maybe-- - Well, that maybe we should go 543 00:23:20,846 --> 00:23:23,211 a different route than we did with Indiana Jones. 544 00:23:23,311 --> 00:23:24,579 Fuck Indiana Jones! 545 00:23:24,679 --> 00:23:26,779 Put a chick in it and make her lame and gay! 546 00:23:28,746 --> 00:23:29,879 Sure. Yeah. 547 00:23:29,979 --> 00:23:32,779 Let's try that... again. 548 00:23:39,879 --> 00:23:42,546 And then... and then there was, like, this ball 549 00:23:42,546 --> 00:23:44,046 and then Eric floated up 550 00:23:44,145 --> 00:23:45,679 into this portal and disappeared! 551 00:23:45,779 --> 00:23:47,311 I don't care what you saw, Butters, 552 00:23:47,411 --> 00:23:48,546 there's gotta be a better explanation 553 00:23:48,646 --> 00:23:50,445 than just the stupid multiverse. 554 00:23:50,546 --> 00:23:52,145 Some multiverse stuff is cool. 555 00:23:52,245 --> 00:23:53,812 Yeah, it can be cool for, like, one movie. 556 00:23:53,912 --> 00:23:55,546 Now it's just this cheap device that people use 557 00:23:55,646 --> 00:23:57,579 to breathe life into tired franchises. 558 00:23:57,679 --> 00:23:59,746 What are you guys talking about? 559 00:24:01,078 --> 00:24:04,779 Uh, we were just talking about how amazing this all is. 560 00:24:04,879 --> 00:24:06,411 Okay, I've been trying to think 561 00:24:06,546 --> 00:24:07,846 about what we should do, you guys. 562 00:24:07,946 --> 00:24:09,546 I think I know how to make everything right, 563 00:24:09,646 --> 00:24:11,278 but we're gonna need a really powerful computer. 564 00:24:11,378 --> 00:24:12,712 Are you gonna eat your brownie, Kenny? 565 00:24:12,812 --> 00:24:14,245 Yeah, I'm gonna eat my brownie! 566 00:24:14,345 --> 00:24:16,345 Okay, fine, so we'll take you to the computer lab. 567 00:24:16,445 --> 00:24:17,612 No, no, no, no, for this, 568 00:24:17,712 --> 00:24:19,145 we gotta get a really powerful system. 569 00:24:19,245 --> 00:24:21,712 Is Kyle's mom still a big fat bitch in this universe? 570 00:24:21,812 --> 00:24:23,812 What? My mom's not a bitch. 571 00:24:23,912 --> 00:24:26,045 Well, I mean, she is kind of bitchy. 572 00:24:26,145 --> 00:24:27,579 She's a big dumb bitch, huh? 573 00:24:27,679 --> 00:24:29,679 What does calling my mom a bitch have to do with anything? 574 00:24:29,779 --> 00:24:31,979 Because we could fake a letter from Kyle's mom 575 00:24:32,078 --> 00:24:34,045 giving Kyle permission to use her credit card number 576 00:24:34,145 --> 00:24:36,546 to buy all the stuff we need at Best Buy. 577 00:24:36,546 --> 00:24:39,546 I mean, PC Principal did say we have to help him. 578 00:24:39,546 --> 00:24:41,646 Her. Them. It. 579 00:24:41,746 --> 00:24:43,579 That's the dumbest idea ever! 580 00:24:43,679 --> 00:24:45,879 I don't even know what my mom's credit number is! 581 00:24:45,979 --> 00:24:47,311 8-7-1-5... 582 00:24:47,411 --> 00:24:48,579 3-2-7... 583 00:24:48,679 --> 00:24:49,378 4-9-2... 584 00:24:49,546 --> 00:24:50,879 2-1-0-0-7. 585 00:24:50,979 --> 00:24:52,411 I use it all the time. 586 00:25:02,411 --> 00:25:04,579 All right. Full name? 587 00:25:05,546 --> 00:25:07,746 What is your name, sir? 588 00:25:07,846 --> 00:25:10,779 I told them already my name is Eric Cartman. 589 00:25:10,879 --> 00:25:12,978 We know Eric Cartman, okay? 590 00:25:13,078 --> 00:25:15,779 Eric Cartman is in here all the time getting in trouble. 591 00:25:15,879 --> 00:25:17,646 That's because I'm from a different universe! 592 00:25:17,746 --> 00:25:19,111 How many times do I have to tell you people? 593 00:25:19,211 --> 00:25:20,712 The Disney company tried to use their platform 594 00:25:20,812 --> 00:25:23,411 to bring about social change and I got fucked. 595 00:25:23,546 --> 00:25:26,445 Hey, Chief. Chief, you gotta hear this one. 596 00:25:26,546 --> 00:25:28,278 What is it, Johnston? 597 00:25:28,378 --> 00:25:29,712 Aw, God. 598 00:25:29,812 --> 00:25:31,679 This little white boy claims he's actually 599 00:25:31,779 --> 00:25:33,145 from a different universe. 600 00:25:33,245 --> 00:25:34,579 Is that so? 601 00:25:34,679 --> 00:25:35,945 All right, honkey, what kind of narcotics 602 00:25:36,045 --> 00:25:38,746 are you on? Did you do a cavity search? 603 00:25:38,846 --> 00:25:40,411 Have you even said what you've arrested me for? 604 00:25:40,546 --> 00:25:42,846 I come from a place where this is extremely inappropriate. 605 00:25:42,945 --> 00:25:45,378 Chief! Hey, Chief! - Yeah? 606 00:25:45,546 --> 00:25:47,546 There's some crazy white lady downstairs 607 00:25:47,546 --> 00:25:49,579 freakin' out and saying she needs to talk to you. 608 00:25:49,679 --> 00:25:50,912 More honkies? 609 00:25:51,011 --> 00:25:52,646 What is this, a Taylor Swift concert? 610 00:25:52,746 --> 00:25:54,579 Tell the nice lady I'll see her after I'm done 611 00:25:54,679 --> 00:25:56,411 with "Eric Cartman" here. 612 00:25:56,546 --> 00:25:57,879 Well, that's just it, Chief. 613 00:25:57,978 --> 00:26:00,278 She's sayin' she's looking for an Eric Cartman. 614 00:26:00,378 --> 00:26:02,311 Says her name is Kathleen Kennedy. 615 00:26:02,411 --> 00:26:05,278 Kathleen Kennedy?! No! 616 00:26:05,378 --> 00:26:07,145 She's gonna try to change me, too! I'm the only one left! 617 00:26:07,245 --> 00:26:10,445 - Hey, get back here! - She's gonna get me! 618 00:26:12,712 --> 00:26:15,311 - Tom, I'm standing outside 619 00:26:15,411 --> 00:26:18,646 the South Park Country Club where protestors have gathered 620 00:26:18,746 --> 00:26:21,111 to point out the unfairness in our economy. 621 00:26:21,211 --> 00:26:24,145 The White House says they're doing all they can but it's been 622 00:26:24,245 --> 00:26:27,911 several days now and my bathroom tile still is not installed. 623 00:26:28,011 --> 00:26:31,178 Yeah, that's right. You see, the whole system is rigged. 624 00:26:31,278 --> 00:26:33,945 You've got people like us who just need our stuff fixed, 625 00:26:34,045 --> 00:26:36,145 and meanwhile there's these billionaires 626 00:26:36,245 --> 00:26:37,445 that have all the control! 627 00:26:37,546 --> 00:26:38,846 Did you know that if just 628 00:26:38,945 --> 00:26:40,445 one of these billionaires spread their wealth, 629 00:26:40,546 --> 00:26:42,911 - it would mean thousands to every per-- 630 00:26:43,011 --> 00:26:44,345 it would mean thousands to every-- 631 00:26:44,445 --> 00:26:45,779 Sorry, hang on, just a second. 632 00:26:45,878 --> 00:26:47,278 Yeah? 633 00:26:47,378 --> 00:26:49,546 Hey, Ran, the oven door still isn't shutting right. 634 00:26:49,646 --> 00:26:51,546 Yeah, I'm working on it, Sharon! 635 00:26:51,546 --> 00:26:53,779 I'm actually working on it right now! 636 00:26:53,878 --> 00:26:55,612 Hey, one of them's coming out! 637 00:26:57,111 --> 00:26:58,812 Please, just glance at my water pressure! 638 00:26:58,911 --> 00:27:01,411 Mr. Fix It, can you please tell us why you haven't been 639 00:27:01,546 --> 00:27:03,045 responding to people's calls? 640 00:27:03,145 --> 00:27:05,945 Well, I've just been busy with my various assets. 641 00:27:06,045 --> 00:27:07,679 You see, I've been trying to acquire 642 00:27:07,779 --> 00:27:11,546 some social media platforms. I just bought Instagram. 643 00:27:11,546 --> 00:27:13,845 What? The country needs stuff fixed. 644 00:27:13,945 --> 00:27:16,679 Why the fuck are you out buying Instagram?! 645 00:27:19,278 --> 00:27:22,612 Hey, did you just outbid me to acquire Instagram? 646 00:27:22,712 --> 00:27:24,011 Yeah, I outbid you. 647 00:27:24,111 --> 00:27:26,712 I own Instagram now and you don't! 648 00:27:26,812 --> 00:27:28,445 Oh, yeah? Well, I just acquired 649 00:27:28,546 --> 00:27:30,546 the entire Bloomberg media company! 650 00:27:30,646 --> 00:27:32,178 Oh, yeah? Well, I can kick your ass. 651 00:27:32,278 --> 00:27:33,845 You wanna fight me MMA? 652 00:27:33,945 --> 00:27:35,945 Yeah, I'll fight you MMA, let's do it. 653 00:27:36,045 --> 00:27:37,746 What the hell are they doing now? 654 00:27:37,845 --> 00:27:39,311 I'm just gonna make a company 655 00:27:39,411 --> 00:27:40,911 and I'm gonna fly to space! 656 00:27:41,011 --> 00:27:43,178 I bet I can get to space before you do! 657 00:27:43,278 --> 00:27:46,712 Gal! Fuck these guys! 658 00:27:51,145 --> 00:27:53,811 She has all the right things in her purse. 659 00:27:53,911 --> 00:27:55,779 Her driver's license says Kathleen Kennedy, 660 00:27:55,878 --> 00:27:57,878 she has Kathleen Kennedy credit cards. 661 00:27:57,978 --> 00:28:00,646 This is definitely all the same makeup Mrs. Kennedy uses. 662 00:28:00,746 --> 00:28:03,779 I mean, according to this, she really is Kathleen Kennedy. 663 00:28:03,878 --> 00:28:06,546 Or Kathleen Kennedy from another universe. 664 00:28:06,546 --> 00:28:08,278 That's enough! Please! 665 00:28:08,378 --> 00:28:10,612 We're not going to waste our time chasing 666 00:28:10,712 --> 00:28:12,378 after wild scientific theories! 667 00:28:12,546 --> 00:28:13,612 Well, we have to do something. 668 00:28:13,712 --> 00:28:15,746 Kathleen Kennedy is down on set right now 669 00:28:15,845 --> 00:28:17,646 ruining the new Bambi movie! 670 00:28:17,746 --> 00:28:20,078 Put a diverse woman in it, make it lame! 671 00:28:20,178 --> 00:28:23,679 But Mrs. Kennedy, Bam-Bambi's a baby deer. 672 00:28:23,778 --> 00:28:26,746 Fuck baby deer! Put a chick in it, make her gay! 673 00:28:26,845 --> 00:28:29,011 You guys, you better come take a look at this. 674 00:28:29,111 --> 00:28:32,111 I don't think we are dealing with our Kathleen Kennedy. 675 00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:34,378 I took images of Mrs. Kennedy and put them 676 00:28:34,546 --> 00:28:36,778 against images of her from a few months ago. 677 00:28:36,878 --> 00:28:39,411 With AI we could detect the smallest irregularities. 678 00:28:39,546 --> 00:28:41,178 Take a look. 679 00:28:48,945 --> 00:28:52,245 All right. What do we know about the panderverse? 680 00:28:52,345 --> 00:28:53,646 I'm afraid we know... 681 00:28:53,745 --> 00:28:55,078 frighteningly little. 682 00:28:55,178 --> 00:28:57,845 The only thing we know for sure 683 00:28:57,945 --> 00:28:59,911 is that if a portal were somehow opened 684 00:29:00,011 --> 00:29:01,345 with the panderstone, 685 00:29:01,445 --> 00:29:04,111 then both universes eventually will collide, 686 00:29:04,211 --> 00:29:07,911 leading to a level of pandering we can't even fathom. 687 00:29:08,011 --> 00:29:09,811 That we know for sure. Yes. 688 00:29:09,911 --> 00:29:11,011 Then we have to get everyone 689 00:29:11,111 --> 00:29:12,945 back to the right universe. 690 00:29:13,045 --> 00:29:16,679 Before it's complete pandermonium. 691 00:29:28,546 --> 00:29:31,178 Okay, Kenny, switch on the power supply. 692 00:29:31,278 --> 00:29:33,778 Stan, make sure we've got ethernet! 693 00:29:33,878 --> 00:29:35,311 - All good. - All right, 694 00:29:35,411 --> 00:29:36,612 let's just hope this works. 695 00:29:36,711 --> 00:29:38,711 Oh, man, what the hell? 696 00:29:38,811 --> 00:29:41,178 Dude, Kyle, what is up with your Internet speed? 697 00:29:41,278 --> 00:29:43,411 Go tell your parents to upgrade your Internet speed. 698 00:29:43,546 --> 00:29:44,679 No! 699 00:29:44,778 --> 00:29:46,145 Kyle, I know you're afraid of your mom 700 00:29:46,245 --> 00:29:48,411 'cause she's a fat bitch, but we have to do this. 701 00:29:48,546 --> 00:29:49,911 Stop calling my mom a bitch! 702 00:29:50,011 --> 00:29:52,011 - Kyle! 703 00:29:52,111 --> 00:29:53,878 I just got an alert that someone used 704 00:29:53,978 --> 00:29:55,745 my credit card at Best Buy?! 705 00:29:55,845 --> 00:29:59,011 Oh, hello, Mrs. Broflovski. 706 00:29:59,111 --> 00:30:01,978 My goodness, you're looking nice today. 707 00:30:02,078 --> 00:30:03,579 What? 708 00:30:03,678 --> 00:30:05,478 You know, credit card fraud 709 00:30:05,579 --> 00:30:07,078 is very serious, Mrs. Broflovski. 710 00:30:07,178 --> 00:30:09,011 You should call your Internet company right away 711 00:30:09,111 --> 00:30:11,678 and up your speed and make sure you're protected. 712 00:30:11,778 --> 00:30:14,711 Really? Kyle, who is this? 713 00:30:14,811 --> 00:30:16,678 Oh, haven't you heard, Mom? 714 00:30:16,778 --> 00:30:18,546 We're in a multiverse and this is 715 00:30:18,646 --> 00:30:20,078 supposed to be Eric Cartman. 716 00:30:20,878 --> 00:30:22,311 Oh, okay, I'm fine with that. 717 00:30:22,411 --> 00:30:24,646 I better go call the Internet company. 718 00:30:24,745 --> 00:30:26,045 What do you mean you're fine with that? 719 00:30:26,145 --> 00:30:28,711 I think all this stuff is great, Kyle. 720 00:30:28,811 --> 00:30:30,811 And what "all stuff" is that, exactly? 721 00:30:30,911 --> 00:30:32,678 Ha! It worked. 722 00:30:32,778 --> 00:30:34,579 She's gonna call the Internet company. 723 00:30:34,678 --> 00:30:37,145 Your mom is such a dumb bitch, Kyle! 724 00:30:37,245 --> 00:30:38,579 Shut up, Cartman! 725 00:30:38,678 --> 00:30:42,245 ♪ Loo, loo, loo, I got some apples ♪ 726 00:30:42,345 --> 00:30:46,145 ♪ Loo, loo, loo, you got some, too ♪ 727 00:30:46,245 --> 00:30:49,311 ♪ Loo, loo, loo, let's make some applesauce... ♪ 728 00:30:49,411 --> 00:30:50,811 - Butters. 729 00:30:50,911 --> 00:30:52,245 Butters! Butters, listen to me. 730 00:30:52,345 --> 00:30:54,845 - It's me, Eric. - You-You-You're not Eric! 731 00:30:54,945 --> 00:30:56,245 Yes, I am Eric Cartman, Butters. 732 00:30:56,345 --> 00:30:57,811 Kathleen Kennedy is trying to get me. 733 00:30:57,911 --> 00:30:59,478 She won't stop until her master plan is complete. 734 00:30:59,579 --> 00:31:02,579 I'm not supposed to have anyone in my room, I'm grounded! 735 00:31:02,678 --> 00:31:04,978 Butters, Disney is going to get me. They already got you! 736 00:31:05,078 --> 00:31:06,546 They did?! 737 00:31:06,546 --> 00:31:08,011 We are in this together, Butters. 738 00:31:08,111 --> 00:31:09,546 You have to keep me safe until I can 739 00:31:09,546 --> 00:31:12,546 - figure out how we're gonna-- 740 00:31:12,546 --> 00:31:14,611 She's here! Butters, don't let her get me. 741 00:31:14,711 --> 00:31:17,278 Butters?! 742 00:31:17,378 --> 00:31:20,845 Butters! Why didn't you answer this door? 743 00:31:20,945 --> 00:31:22,546 Oh. Hey, Dad. 744 00:31:22,546 --> 00:31:25,411 What are you doing up here? And why do you look so scared? 745 00:31:25,546 --> 00:31:29,546 Oh, I'm not scared, I'm just, uh, I'm just having fun. 746 00:31:29,546 --> 00:31:30,878 Well, no having fun. 747 00:31:30,978 --> 00:31:33,611 You are grounded. Start being more miserable. 748 00:31:33,711 --> 00:31:35,911 - Dad? - Yes, Butters? 749 00:31:36,011 --> 00:31:38,745 Uh, could you check under my bed and make sure 750 00:31:38,845 --> 00:31:40,345 Kathleen Kennedy isn't there? 751 00:31:40,445 --> 00:31:42,878 Butters, what have I told you about being more mature? 752 00:31:42,978 --> 00:31:45,011 I can assure you Kathleen Kennedy 753 00:31:45,111 --> 00:31:47,178 is not under your bed! 754 00:31:52,546 --> 00:31:53,611 That's fucking Kathleen Kennedy! 755 00:31:53,711 --> 00:31:54,611 Right fucking there! 756 00:31:56,878 --> 00:31:58,711 You! Come here! 757 00:31:58,811 --> 00:32:00,645 No, no, no, no, no! 758 00:32:03,145 --> 00:32:06,045 No, no! No, no, no! 759 00:32:18,845 --> 00:32:20,178 Well, Shelley, 760 00:32:20,278 --> 00:32:22,311 we need to talk about your future. 761 00:32:22,411 --> 00:32:25,545 You see, there's very few people at the top these days. 762 00:32:25,545 --> 00:32:28,111 AI can do everything better than we can, 763 00:32:28,211 --> 00:32:31,045 except for stuff that requires arms. 764 00:32:32,411 --> 00:32:34,845 I don't want you to end up a deadbeat loser 765 00:32:34,945 --> 00:32:36,545 who goes to college, Shelley. 766 00:32:36,645 --> 00:32:38,278 You need to stay out of school, 767 00:32:38,378 --> 00:32:41,178 and instead go out and be taught real skills that will 768 00:32:41,278 --> 00:32:44,411 still be profitable in this post-AI universe. 769 00:32:44,545 --> 00:32:48,545 So what you do is you take out your phone and you call 770 00:32:48,545 --> 00:32:52,045 the handyman, and see if those rich people will have 771 00:32:52,145 --> 00:32:55,245 any internships or training programs available for you. 772 00:33:02,545 --> 00:33:05,045 Handyman service, how can I help you? 773 00:33:05,145 --> 00:33:06,745 Yeah, hi, it's Randy Marsh. 774 00:33:06,845 --> 00:33:09,345 I was wondering if you might have any internships 775 00:33:09,445 --> 00:33:10,745 available for my daughter-- 776 00:33:10,845 --> 00:33:12,178 Hey! What in tarnation?! 777 00:33:12,278 --> 00:33:14,945 I told you I'd beat you, you son' bitch! 778 00:33:15,045 --> 00:33:18,145 You ain't beatin' me! Turn up them thrusters! 779 00:33:18,245 --> 00:33:19,878 My galactic cruiser's bigger than yours! 780 00:33:19,978 --> 00:33:21,211 H-Hello? 781 00:33:21,311 --> 00:33:22,411 Get out my way, you little pecker! 782 00:33:22,545 --> 00:33:23,845 Hello? Never mind. 783 00:33:23,945 --> 00:33:27,011 The rich people are all just fucking around in space. 784 00:33:31,145 --> 00:33:32,645 What the hell was that? 785 00:33:32,745 --> 00:33:35,745 I'm getting significantly strong readings from the panderstone. 786 00:33:35,845 --> 00:33:37,611 Mr. Iger. We may have a solution. 787 00:33:37,711 --> 00:33:40,545 If this Kathleen Kennedy here is from somewhere else, then 788 00:33:40,545 --> 00:33:43,545 there has to be a match for her somewhere in our universe. 789 00:33:43,545 --> 00:33:45,111 So what we can do 790 00:33:45,211 --> 00:33:48,245 is use an AI program that can take every image ever put 791 00:33:48,345 --> 00:33:51,378 on the Internet to try and find a match to our image. 792 00:33:52,178 --> 00:33:54,045 Different, different, different, 793 00:33:54,145 --> 00:33:55,978 different, different, different, different, 794 00:33:56,078 --> 00:33:58,578 different, different, different... 795 00:33:58,678 --> 00:34:00,245 Same. 796 00:34:00,345 --> 00:34:02,545 Eric Cartman. 797 00:34:02,545 --> 00:34:03,978 South Park Elementary. 798 00:34:04,078 --> 00:34:05,978 Evans, Mallory, come with me. 799 00:34:06,078 --> 00:34:08,311 The rest of you, don't let Kathleen Kennedy 800 00:34:08,411 --> 00:34:09,678 find out what we're up to. 801 00:34:09,778 --> 00:34:12,278 It's okay, we're keeping Mrs. Kennedy distracted. 802 00:34:12,378 --> 00:34:15,045 We've sent her away to have lunch at Spago. 803 00:34:19,278 --> 00:34:20,778 There you are, Mrs. Kennedy, 804 00:34:20,878 --> 00:34:22,545 the linguini and clam sauce. 805 00:34:22,545 --> 00:34:23,978 Uh, excuse me? 806 00:34:24,078 --> 00:34:25,711 I believe I asked you to put a chick in this 807 00:34:25,811 --> 00:34:27,545 - and make her gay? - Uh... 808 00:34:27,545 --> 00:34:30,045 Yes, the chef was a little confused what you meant by that. 809 00:34:30,145 --> 00:34:32,945 It means put a chick in the linguini 810 00:34:33,045 --> 00:34:35,444 and make her fucking gay! 811 00:34:36,278 --> 00:34:38,545 And I want it lame! 812 00:34:45,545 --> 00:34:48,745 She's gonna get me! She's gonna get me! 813 00:34:55,078 --> 00:34:57,045 No, no, no, no, no! 814 00:35:00,311 --> 00:35:02,078 Hey, who's that, Ned? 815 00:35:02,178 --> 00:35:03,745 I'm not sure. 816 00:35:03,845 --> 00:35:05,545 No! 817 00:35:08,377 --> 00:35:10,377 There he is! Get him! 818 00:35:17,911 --> 00:35:21,145 No. Oh, my God, please, no! 819 00:35:22,945 --> 00:35:24,911 No...! 820 00:35:25,011 --> 00:35:26,410 Which way did they go? 821 00:35:28,410 --> 00:35:30,878 We have to work together. 822 00:35:30,978 --> 00:35:33,545 Fuck you, Kathleen Kennedy! Stay away, you fuckin' bitch! 823 00:35:33,545 --> 00:35:37,045 I'm in the same situation you are, Eric! 824 00:35:38,945 --> 00:35:41,878 I know you're in the wrong universe. 825 00:35:41,978 --> 00:35:44,211 So am I. 826 00:35:51,145 --> 00:35:54,645 Well, there's no other way to put it. 827 00:35:54,745 --> 00:35:56,278 They have us over a barrel. 828 00:35:57,045 --> 00:36:01,278 We give these billionaires all our money, rely on them, 829 00:36:01,377 --> 00:36:03,911 and so they can do whatever they want. 830 00:36:04,678 --> 00:36:08,410 Let's just face it, we're never gonna get our stuff fixed. 831 00:36:08,545 --> 00:36:10,078 Yeah. 832 00:36:10,178 --> 00:36:14,545 And I guess it's nobody's fault but our own. 833 00:36:14,545 --> 00:36:16,078 Excuse me? 834 00:36:16,178 --> 00:36:17,410 My name is Bob Iger 835 00:36:17,545 --> 00:36:19,011 from the Disney entertainment company. 836 00:36:19,111 --> 00:36:21,410 We're looking for an Eric Cartman. 837 00:36:21,545 --> 00:36:24,344 Our universe has been manipulated with. 838 00:36:24,444 --> 00:36:26,711 Have you all noticed anything strange? 839 00:36:29,310 --> 00:36:32,611 Yes. Yes, the world is completely upside down! 840 00:36:32,711 --> 00:36:34,045 Nothing makes sense! 841 00:36:34,145 --> 00:36:35,745 It's because there's some kind of 842 00:36:35,845 --> 00:36:37,278 disruption in the panderverse. 843 00:36:37,377 --> 00:36:40,011 We believe Kathleen Kennedy has opened a portal. 844 00:36:40,111 --> 00:36:42,611 This is all Kathleen Kennedy's fault? 845 00:36:42,711 --> 00:36:45,078 This is all Kathleen Kennedy's fault! 846 00:36:45,178 --> 00:36:46,310 Who's Kathleen Kennedy? 847 00:36:46,410 --> 00:36:48,645 One of the top executives at Disney. 848 00:36:48,745 --> 00:36:50,245 It's not us, you guys. 849 00:36:50,344 --> 00:36:52,410 I knew there was an explanation! 850 00:36:52,545 --> 00:36:54,344 We didn't waste our time at college! 851 00:36:54,444 --> 00:36:56,711 We didn't get lazy from technology! 852 00:36:56,811 --> 00:36:59,545 Everything is Kathleen Kennedy's fault! 853 00:37:03,245 --> 00:37:06,545 Follow me. I'll help you find Eric. 854 00:37:07,277 --> 00:37:09,645 Okay, okay, everything is finally loaded. 855 00:37:09,745 --> 00:37:11,444 We got Internet at full capacity. 856 00:37:11,545 --> 00:37:12,811 You guys ready to see if this works? 857 00:37:12,911 --> 00:37:14,878 Yeah! - All right, let's do this! 858 00:37:14,978 --> 00:37:16,578 Launching Steam now. 859 00:37:16,678 --> 00:37:17,711 Steam? 860 00:37:17,811 --> 00:37:19,211 Okay. I'm in Steam. 861 00:37:19,310 --> 00:37:20,545 Got the application ready to go. 862 00:37:20,545 --> 00:37:22,145 The title screen is launching! 863 00:37:24,344 --> 00:37:26,444 It's working. It's working, you guys! 864 00:37:26,545 --> 00:37:27,878 It looks sweet on this big monitor! 865 00:37:27,978 --> 00:37:30,344 Wait a minute. You mean this entire time, 866 00:37:30,444 --> 00:37:32,178 all you've wanted to do is play Baldur's Gate 3? 867 00:37:32,277 --> 00:37:33,878 Yeah. What'd you think I was trying to do? 868 00:37:33,978 --> 00:37:35,778 We thought you were trying to set up some elaborate 869 00:37:35,878 --> 00:37:37,410 system to get back to your universe! 870 00:37:37,545 --> 00:37:39,578 I ain't no quantum astro physicist. 871 00:37:39,678 --> 00:37:42,310 The fuck I know about how the multiverse works? 872 00:37:42,410 --> 00:37:45,011 Wow. It really is Cartman. 873 00:37:45,111 --> 00:37:46,645 All right, that does it! 874 00:37:47,911 --> 00:37:49,344 Get out of my room! 875 00:37:49,444 --> 00:37:51,845 You have to be cool to me, Kyle. PC Principal says so. 876 00:37:51,945 --> 00:37:55,011 I don't care! All this multiple universe stuff is tired and lazy 877 00:37:55,111 --> 00:37:56,878 and we are not doing it anymore! 878 00:37:56,978 --> 00:37:58,545 Boys! Boys, 879 00:37:58,545 --> 00:38:00,210 we need to help Disney put our universe back together. 880 00:38:00,310 --> 00:38:01,778 Where's Eric Cartman? 881 00:38:01,878 --> 00:38:03,545 Dad, this might be hard to understand, 882 00:38:03,545 --> 00:38:05,111 but this is Eric Cartman. 883 00:38:05,210 --> 00:38:06,745 Oh, okay, great. Come on, Eric, 884 00:38:06,845 --> 00:38:08,277 - we need to go. 885 00:38:08,377 --> 00:38:10,811 We have to hurry, Eric. 886 00:38:10,911 --> 00:38:12,578 No. No, wait. 887 00:38:12,678 --> 00:38:14,678 Something's wrong. Oh, my God! 888 00:38:14,778 --> 00:38:16,945 - What is it? - My save game. 889 00:38:17,045 --> 00:38:19,344 I'm already like 50 hours into Baldur's Gate 3 890 00:38:19,444 --> 00:38:21,711 but it's saying that I have to start a new game. 891 00:38:21,811 --> 00:38:24,377 Do save games not cross between multiple universes? 892 00:38:24,545 --> 00:38:25,645 Save games don't even cross between 893 00:38:25,745 --> 00:38:27,277 PCs and PS5s, why would they cross 894 00:38:27,377 --> 00:38:28,678 between multiple universes? 895 00:38:29,678 --> 00:38:30,911 No...! 896 00:38:31,011 --> 00:38:32,578 Please, everyone. We are running out of time! 897 00:38:32,678 --> 00:38:34,545 We have to close the panderverse before 898 00:38:34,545 --> 00:38:36,244 everything we care about is destroyed! 899 00:38:36,344 --> 00:38:37,410 So what do we have to do? 900 00:38:37,545 --> 00:38:38,711 We have to get everyone 901 00:38:38,811 --> 00:38:40,545 back to the proper place, but to breach 902 00:38:40,545 --> 00:38:42,277 the panderverse, we need to find a place 903 00:38:42,377 --> 00:38:44,678 with integrity that has a broken door. 904 00:38:45,578 --> 00:38:49,078 A place with "integridy" that has a broken door. 905 00:38:49,177 --> 00:38:51,711 I know where to go. 906 00:38:53,778 --> 00:38:56,210 So, yeah, so it's just basically off the hinges. 907 00:38:56,310 --> 00:38:58,210 I'd fix it myself but I've been really busy. 908 00:38:58,310 --> 00:38:59,678 Do you think it'll work? 909 00:38:59,778 --> 00:39:01,310 If we're to try to open a panderverse portal, 910 00:39:01,410 --> 00:39:03,344 it's as good as any place, I suppose. 911 00:39:03,444 --> 00:39:05,277 Okay, people, we don't have much time. 912 00:39:05,377 --> 00:39:08,444 Bring in the panderstone. 913 00:39:11,545 --> 00:39:13,545 I'm not your enemy, Eric. 914 00:39:13,645 --> 00:39:15,811 For some reason fate has put us together. 915 00:39:15,911 --> 00:39:18,377 What do you want from me, Kathleen Kennedy? 916 00:39:18,545 --> 00:39:20,678 I've been stuck in this universe for months. 917 00:39:20,778 --> 00:39:22,745 I want out of here just as much as you do. 918 00:39:22,845 --> 00:39:25,778 Hello, welcome to City Woke, can I take your order, please? 919 00:39:25,878 --> 00:39:26,945 Ugh. 920 00:39:27,045 --> 00:39:28,778 We're just having tea, thank you. 921 00:39:28,878 --> 00:39:30,778 Okay, you just wanna tea and talk about 922 00:39:30,878 --> 00:39:33,078 shitty male-dominated society, that's fine. 923 00:39:33,177 --> 00:39:35,110 I don't get it, this is exactly the kind of 924 00:39:35,210 --> 00:39:36,911 universe you wanted, why would you want to leave? 925 00:39:37,011 --> 00:39:40,778 To stop her from undoing the panderverse completely. 926 00:39:43,811 --> 00:39:46,244 I saw the panderstone for the first time 927 00:39:46,344 --> 00:39:47,645 a few years ago. 928 00:39:47,745 --> 00:39:49,778 Bob Iger took us to the Disney archives 929 00:39:49,878 --> 00:39:52,845 and showed us an ancient piece of artificial intelligence 930 00:39:52,945 --> 00:39:55,678 that could be used to make the same movies over 931 00:39:55,778 --> 00:39:59,545 and over again while appealing to absolutely everyone. 932 00:40:00,645 --> 00:40:02,911 The panderstone worked great, for a while. 933 00:40:03,011 --> 00:40:06,177 But then came the hate mail. Ugly letters from racists 934 00:40:06,277 --> 00:40:08,310 who couldn't stand that some of the panderstone's 935 00:40:08,410 --> 00:40:11,244 rehashes had diverse women characters in the lead. 936 00:40:11,344 --> 00:40:14,878 I decided I would show them. I would start making movies 937 00:40:14,978 --> 00:40:16,911 to fight all the bigotry in our society. 938 00:40:17,011 --> 00:40:19,110 But instead of doing any real work, 939 00:40:19,210 --> 00:40:24,477 I turned to the panderstone. It made things so much easier. 940 00:40:24,578 --> 00:40:27,011 Soon, I was using the panderstone over 941 00:40:27,110 --> 00:40:30,177 and over again to try and fight all the ugly feedback, 942 00:40:30,277 --> 00:40:33,177 which in turn was growing stronger and stronger. 943 00:40:33,945 --> 00:40:36,511 But I was fighting with the wrong tool. 944 00:40:36,611 --> 00:40:38,310 I used the panderstone to the point 945 00:40:38,410 --> 00:40:40,778 - that it became unstable. 946 00:40:41,611 --> 00:40:43,477 It opened a portal to multiple universes, 947 00:40:43,578 --> 00:40:46,344 and something came through. 948 00:40:54,077 --> 00:40:57,344 At first we fought. I tried to send it back to its universe. 949 00:40:57,444 --> 00:40:59,044 But it got the upper hand. 950 00:40:59,144 --> 00:41:01,745 It was able instead to send me to this universe, 951 00:41:01,845 --> 00:41:04,545 out of its way so it could thrive in ours. 952 00:41:06,110 --> 00:41:08,545 That's actually the best explanation 953 00:41:08,545 --> 00:41:11,911 I've heard as to why Disney movies all suck now. 954 00:41:15,911 --> 00:41:17,410 All right, I've set the panderstone 955 00:41:17,545 --> 00:41:19,144 into the compromised doorway. 956 00:41:19,244 --> 00:41:21,444 Activating the panderstone now. 957 00:41:22,845 --> 00:41:23,878 Whoa! 958 00:41:23,978 --> 00:41:25,545 Space-time portal is manifesting! 959 00:41:25,645 --> 00:41:27,210 Panderverse quantum fields are aligned! 960 00:41:27,310 --> 00:41:29,811 Yeah, that sounds like typical multiverse gobbledygook. 961 00:41:29,911 --> 00:41:31,978 Will you stop ripping on multiple universes, Kyle? 962 00:41:32,077 --> 00:41:33,778 I'm trying to get back to Baldur's Gate. 963 00:41:33,878 --> 00:41:36,911 Now I warn you, Mr. Marsh, once inside the panderverse, 964 00:41:37,010 --> 00:41:38,778 you will be falling through different realities. 965 00:41:38,878 --> 00:41:40,911 Your mind will barely be able to comprehend 966 00:41:41,010 --> 00:41:43,545 - what you are experiencing. Randy? 967 00:41:43,545 --> 00:41:45,745 I think the oven door is still having problems if you-- 968 00:41:45,845 --> 00:41:48,678 I am working on it, Sharon! 969 00:41:50,144 --> 00:41:53,210 The portal is at full. This might be our only shot! 970 00:41:53,310 --> 00:41:55,110 Good luck, Mr. Marsh! 971 00:41:55,210 --> 00:41:56,945 Whoa! 972 00:42:00,244 --> 00:42:02,545 Hold on to the rope! 973 00:42:03,977 --> 00:42:06,144 Oh, whoa! 974 00:42:06,244 --> 00:42:08,044 Oh, my God. 975 00:42:08,144 --> 00:42:10,711 Whoa! 976 00:42:10,811 --> 00:42:13,210 Whoa. 977 00:42:15,410 --> 00:42:18,144 Oh, God, it's so weird. 978 00:42:18,244 --> 00:42:20,144 Shorts, now I'm wearing shorts! 979 00:42:22,377 --> 00:42:23,410 Can you imagine it? 980 00:42:23,545 --> 00:42:25,110 An infinite number of universes 981 00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:27,310 with infinite combinations of pants and shirts. 982 00:42:27,410 --> 00:42:30,545 What do you think about multiple universes now, boys? 983 00:42:31,778 --> 00:42:33,077 Yeah, they're pretty fucking stupid. 984 00:42:33,177 --> 00:42:34,177 Yeah. 985 00:42:34,277 --> 00:42:35,711 I understand that maybe 986 00:42:35,811 --> 00:42:37,545 you were trying to make a difference, Kathleen. 987 00:42:37,545 --> 00:42:39,444 But you have to admit the last few movies 988 00:42:39,545 --> 00:42:41,177 you've shit out have been real stinkers. 989 00:42:41,277 --> 00:42:42,645 All I ever wanted was to 990 00:42:42,745 --> 00:42:44,977 make great entertainment, believe me. 991 00:42:45,077 --> 00:42:48,010 But as soon as you start getting piles and piles of hate mail, 992 00:42:48,110 --> 00:42:50,611 endless messages calling you the c-word, 993 00:42:50,711 --> 00:42:52,545 you can't think straight. 994 00:42:52,545 --> 00:42:55,277 Well, I'm sorry I wrote all those letters. 995 00:42:55,377 --> 00:42:57,077 It probably was a bit much. 996 00:42:57,177 --> 00:43:00,377 No, I got like 10,000 letters a day. 997 00:43:00,545 --> 00:43:02,077 Mm, I was doing more like 12,000 to 13,000, 998 00:43:02,177 --> 00:43:04,545 especially after the new Indiana Jones came out. 999 00:43:05,545 --> 00:43:08,545 Then it's you! You're the one who caused all this! 1000 00:43:08,545 --> 00:43:10,444 Fuck you! You're the one who caused all this! 1001 00:43:10,545 --> 00:43:12,377 I wouldn't have tried to fight racism 1002 00:43:12,545 --> 00:43:13,545 with the panderstone if you hadn't 1003 00:43:13,545 --> 00:43:14,845 written all those letters. 1004 00:43:14,944 --> 00:43:16,144 I wouldn't have written all those letters 1005 00:43:16,244 --> 00:43:17,377 if you hadn't tried to fight racism 1006 00:43:17,545 --> 00:43:19,210 with a fucking panderstone. 1007 00:43:20,977 --> 00:43:23,277 Mr. Marsh! Can you hear us? 1008 00:43:23,377 --> 00:43:24,545 Oh, wow! 1009 00:43:24,645 --> 00:43:26,545 You should see the pants I have on now! 1010 00:43:26,545 --> 00:43:29,910 Whoa! Oh, now I have on, like, suspenders. 1011 00:43:30,010 --> 00:43:32,845 Like almost like overalls but not quite! 1012 00:43:32,944 --> 00:43:34,010 My God. 1013 00:43:34,110 --> 00:43:36,244 Mr. Marsh! Try and stay focused! 1014 00:43:36,344 --> 00:43:38,944 You should be seeing another portal soon! 1015 00:43:39,044 --> 00:43:41,177 If our Kathleen Kennedy got the other Eric Cartman 1016 00:43:41,277 --> 00:43:42,678 to the right place. 1017 00:43:42,778 --> 00:43:44,444 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 1018 00:43:44,545 --> 00:43:45,944 Dad? What's the matter? 1019 00:43:46,044 --> 00:43:48,244 I'm wearing a Baltimore Ravens shirt now! 1020 00:43:48,344 --> 00:43:49,845 I hate the Ravens! 1021 00:43:49,944 --> 00:43:52,611 I don't know if I can do this! 1022 00:43:52,711 --> 00:43:54,745 Oh, now it's the Dolphins! Ah! The Chiefs! 1023 00:43:54,844 --> 00:43:56,545 Oh, it's the Chiefs! 1024 00:43:56,645 --> 00:43:58,110 He's losing his mind! 1025 00:43:58,210 --> 00:43:59,977 The panderverse is filled with mystery 1026 00:44:00,077 --> 00:44:03,611 and paradox, you-- you have to try and hang on! 1027 00:44:06,811 --> 00:44:09,010 Jesus, it's getting worse. 1028 00:44:14,910 --> 00:44:18,377 Where the fuck is Bob Iger? 1029 00:44:19,177 --> 00:44:21,277 Uh, Mr. Iger just had to take some 1030 00:44:21,377 --> 00:44:23,010 of the others to a screening. 1031 00:44:23,110 --> 00:44:26,044 I think that things are being kept from me. 1032 00:44:26,144 --> 00:44:28,545 And if you're going to keep things from me, 1033 00:44:28,645 --> 00:44:31,110 then you'd better put a chick in it, 1034 00:44:31,210 --> 00:44:34,444 and make her fucking gay as fuck. 1035 00:44:40,745 --> 00:44:43,545 So that's it, that's the connection. 1036 00:44:43,645 --> 00:44:46,545 I reacted to you and you reacted to me. 1037 00:44:46,545 --> 00:44:49,110 And I guess we created each other. 1038 00:44:49,210 --> 00:44:50,545 Mrs. Kennedy, 1039 00:44:50,545 --> 00:44:51,711 I don't think I've ever said this 1040 00:44:51,810 --> 00:44:54,711 before in my life but... I'm sorry. 1041 00:44:54,810 --> 00:44:57,711 I lashed out so hard and used the c-word so many times, 1042 00:44:57,810 --> 00:45:00,110 you didn't really have a choice but to double down. 1043 00:45:00,210 --> 00:45:03,645 Eric, I know you care about all things Disney. 1044 00:45:03,745 --> 00:45:07,244 I'm sorry I was so reckless with the things that you love. 1045 00:45:07,344 --> 00:45:10,277 It was just lazy. 1046 00:45:10,377 --> 00:45:11,944 I guess just wailing 1047 00:45:12,044 --> 00:45:15,578 on woke stuff all the time is pretty lazy, too. 1048 00:45:22,745 --> 00:45:27,110 I think... I think I can let go now. 1049 00:45:34,044 --> 00:45:37,344 Aah... 1050 00:45:38,144 --> 00:45:43,177 Come on, Kate. Looks like we got a flight to catch. 1051 00:45:52,877 --> 00:45:55,177 Whoa, what the hell is that? 1052 00:45:58,844 --> 00:46:01,744 Oh, yo, bitch! You killed Kenny! 1053 00:46:01,844 --> 00:46:03,910 You fat ho! 1054 00:46:13,545 --> 00:46:14,710 Look! 1055 00:46:18,344 --> 00:46:20,177 I'm back, you guys! 1056 00:46:22,010 --> 00:46:24,044 Kyle! Kyle, I'm back! 1057 00:46:24,144 --> 00:46:25,710 I was so wrong about Kathleen Kennedy, 1058 00:46:25,810 --> 00:46:27,310 Kyle, she's so awesome! 1059 00:46:27,410 --> 00:46:29,578 Okay, what Cartman is this? 1060 00:46:29,678 --> 00:46:30,977 Mrs. Kennedy, you're back! 1061 00:46:31,077 --> 00:46:33,377 - Great to see you, ma'am. - Thanks, you guys. 1062 00:46:33,545 --> 00:46:36,177 We have a lot of changes to discuss at the company. 1063 00:46:36,277 --> 00:46:38,578 From now on we're only going to make original content 1064 00:46:38,678 --> 00:46:40,210 that doesn't pander. 1065 00:46:40,310 --> 00:46:42,310 Sure we will, Kate. Sure we will. 1066 00:46:43,677 --> 00:46:45,611 Hey, guys! Guys, over here! 1067 00:46:46,377 --> 00:46:49,677 I did a little extra work while I was out in multiple universes. 1068 00:46:49,777 --> 00:46:52,144 We're not gonna have a problem with billionaires anymore, 1069 00:46:52,244 --> 00:46:54,077 check it out! 1070 00:46:57,545 --> 00:47:00,645 Now people who can do stuff will be just as poor 1071 00:47:00,744 --> 00:47:02,010 as the rest of us! 1072 00:47:04,545 --> 00:47:07,377 Tom, it appears that everything is back to normal. 1073 00:47:07,545 --> 00:47:10,110 Billionaires have been put in their place and once again 1074 00:47:10,210 --> 00:47:12,977 it doesn't matter that we don't know how to do anything. 1075 00:47:13,077 --> 00:47:15,545 It's a good ending here and we can all be happy 1076 00:47:15,545 --> 00:47:20,077 that everyone is back in their universe. 1077 00:47:27,244 --> 00:47:28,844 Mom! Mom! 1078 00:47:28,944 --> 00:47:30,744 What is it, Mrs. Kennedy? 1079 00:47:30,844 --> 00:47:32,277 Oh. Oh, Mom! 1080 00:47:32,377 --> 00:47:34,244 I was just having the worst nightmare. 1081 00:47:34,344 --> 00:47:36,877 I was me except everyone around me was different. 1082 00:47:36,977 --> 00:47:38,377 Oh, no, Mrs. Kennedy. 1083 00:47:38,545 --> 00:47:41,944 Here, have some of your favorite cereal to calm you down. 1084 00:47:42,044 --> 00:47:44,177 Oh, thank you. It was so real. 1085 00:47:44,277 --> 00:47:45,810 All my friends were there but they'd been 1086 00:47:45,910 --> 00:47:47,144 replaced by strangers. 1087 00:47:47,244 --> 00:47:49,044 I think you were even there too, Kyle. 1088 00:47:49,144 --> 00:47:51,110 Really? I was there, too? 1089 00:47:51,210 --> 00:47:52,777 Yeah, that's right, Kyle, you were there 1090 00:47:52,877 --> 00:47:53,944 but you weren't cereal and I couldn't 1091 00:47:54,044 --> 00:47:55,144 just eat you like I can here. 1092 00:47:56,744 --> 00:47:57,944 No, please, no, Mrs. Kennedy! 1093 00:47:58,044 --> 00:47:59,545 Oh, you're so yummy, Kyle! 1094 00:47:59,644 --> 00:48:01,944 Oh, oh, it's so good to be home. 1095 00:48:02,044 --> 00:48:04,277 Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. 78337

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