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1
00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:10,010
(SNORES) Hiromi.
2
00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:14,722
Time to stop snoring
and start pillow war-ing!.
3
00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,891
(GRUNTS) It hasn't
even started yet.
4
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:17,976
You're breaking
the rules.
5
00:00:17,977 --> 00:00:20,062
Rules? There are
no rules in the...
6
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:23,107
Great Pillow War!
7
00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:27,026
The Great Pillow War
began four years ago.
8
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,405
It started as
a simple disagreement over the TV remote
9
00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:33,492
but has devolved
into an all-out, feathery fracas.
10
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:36,078
And to the victor
go the spoils,
11
00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:39,039
absolute control
of the remote for one month,
12
00:00:39,832 --> 00:00:41,958
and bragging rights
in perpetuity,
13
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:45,004
or until, you know,
the next pillow war.
14
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,675
You will be destroyed!
15
00:00:49,676 --> 00:00:52,927
I dream only of your complete
and total annihilation!
16
00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:54,095
(DOORBELL RINGS)
17
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:55,555
The troops have arrived!
18
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,099
(RECORD SCRATCHES)
19
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:58,599
Wait, you're not a troop?
20
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,476
No, I'm a babysitter.
21
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:01,853
Babysitter?
Yeah.
22
00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:03,605
Your parents wanted someone
to watch Gretel,
23
00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:05,773
who does not, and I quote,
24
00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:09,278
"dream only of her complete
and total annihilation."
25
00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:11,988
All right.
Come on in. Thanks.
26
00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:13,039
(DOORBELL RINGS)
27
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,908
Private Anthony
reporting for duty, Sir.
28
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,035
Welcome, new recruits.
29
00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:18,786
I am Major General Kevin.
(RECORD SCRATCHES)
30
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,371
Wait. Where's Private Hiromi?
31
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:22,123
She had to
cancel last minute.
32
00:01:22,124 --> 00:01:24,625
Now, can we stop
talking like we're in a low-budget war movie?
33
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:25,676
No, we cannot.
34
00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:27,379
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
35
00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:30,298
What's The Destructress
doing here?
36
00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:32,342
Shh. She's just here
as Lauren.
37
00:01:32,343 --> 00:01:34,552
Mom and Dad said
we need a babysitter.
38
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:37,503
Oh, right,
because of the whole total annihilation thing.
39
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:38,690
What do you want?
40
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,641
Lauren, where are you?
41
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,643
I'm here at the park
for a half birthday bonanza
42
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,187
where we celebrate
our half birthday.
43
00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:45,605
I forgot.
44
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,357
I picked up
a babysitting gig.
45
00:01:47,358 --> 00:01:48,816
Yeah, you're still doing that?
46
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,068
Last time
you were babysitting,
47
00:01:50,069 --> 00:01:51,694
I ended up
becoming a People Pop,
48
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,780
and not in a fun way.
49
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:54,990
What would the fun way be...
50
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,325
Never mind.
I'm busy.
51
00:01:57,326 --> 00:02:00,661
Just do our half-birthday
bonanza yourself. But...
52
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,871
Hey, Lauren, so
53
00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:03,081
we're down one soldier.
54
00:02:03,082 --> 00:02:04,624
Would you wanna
join my army?
55
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,250
All you have to do
is be ruthless.
56
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:08,170
Hmm. "Ruthless"
is my middle name.
57
00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:09,504
Actually,
it's just Ruth.
58
00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:10,714
I'm in.
59
00:02:10,715 --> 00:02:13,966
Hey, Lauren, you don't have
to get all roped up in this.
60
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,593
No, that's cool.
61
00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,884
I actually have a ton
of aggression to get out.
62
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,264
Okay, then.
63
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:21,183
Welcome.
64
00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:22,892
You can't recruit Lauren.
65
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,352
She has superpowers.
66
00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,396
Stop making stuff up
just to get an advantage.
67
00:02:26,397 --> 00:02:28,232
Soldiers!
To the battlefield!
68
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,109
Don't worry,
Lauren's nice.
69
00:02:31,110 --> 00:02:32,440
I'm sure
she'll play fair.
70
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:38,409
Oh, yeah,
we're in trouble.
71
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:40,994
KEVIN: Listen up, soldiers!
72
00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:44,580
Rule number one
in the great Pillow War is there are no rules.
73
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,791
(ALL CHEER)
Yes!
74
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:49,752
Rule number two is that rule number
one is not a hard and fast rule
75
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,921
because there are indeed
rules in the pillow war.
76
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,005
Wai, wai,...
But you just said...
77
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,924
For instance,
rule number three is,
78
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,551
you go out of bounds,
you're out.
79
00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:58,136
Since you added rules,
80
00:02:58,137 --> 00:02:59,720
should the bigger soldiers
fight on their knees,
81
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,351
so it's fair
to the little ones?
82
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,102
You are now entering
Bailey's world of pain,
83
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,355
(KNUCKLES CRACKING)
Population, You!
84
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:10,399
I made a mistake coming here.
85
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,693
(SIGHS)
86
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,112
Last one to that tree's
a loser with no brain.
87
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:18,283
First one to that tree
peaks in high school.
88
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:21,244
I wish I had someone
to argue and fight with.
89
00:03:21,245 --> 00:03:24,579
Hey, do you have any bikes
that say, "I don't care
90
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:26,930
"if my sister ditched me,
I can still have fun."
91
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:31,211
Super fun being on your own,
right Front-Lyle?
92
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,756
Totally, Back-Lyle.
93
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,551
This is how things
should always be.
94
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,636
You can
say that again.
95
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:41,846
Okay.
96
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,766
This is how things
should always be.
97
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,102
(SIGHS)
98
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:50,397
(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING)
99
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:04,327
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
100
00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:05,995
(DINGS)
101
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,580
MAN: ? I know you
like to talk trash
102
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,123
? You keep on pushing
103
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:11,584
? But I think you better
shut your mouth and grab a cushion
104
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,877
? When I'm swingin'
something soft
105
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,712
? I can hit you pretty hard
106
00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:16,839
? I can knock you
out the living room and into the yard
107
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,049
? Are your hands
getting sweaty?
108
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:19,509
? Can you see this through?
109
00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:21,969
? Well, you better get ready
because we're ready for you
110
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,680
? We got all kinds of stuffing
from the cushion store
111
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:27,475
? If you get up in my face
we'll get down in yours
112
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:30,019
? Goose down, goose down
or maybe polyurethane
113
00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:32,480
? Or polyester fiber fill
they're really all the same
114
00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:33,773
? You can be all polite
115
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:34,982
? You can beg "No more"
116
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,359
? But this is
not a pillow fight
117
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,778
? It's a pillow war!
118
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:45,618
(DINGS)
119
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:47,036
? You won't get
permanent damage
120
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,455
? But you may be sore
'cause it's not a pillow fight
121
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,916
? It's a pillow war! ?
122
00:04:52,201 --> 00:04:55,086
It's really
a great likeness.
123
00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:56,254
But why is it
all splattery?
124
00:04:56,255 --> 00:04:58,172
It's modern, man.
Leave me alone!
125
00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:00,163
All right,
the break's over. Ding-ding.
126
00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:02,928
Prepare to cry, coward!
127
00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:06,347
For glory!
(SCREAMS)
128
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:08,308
(GRUNTING)
129
00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:12,061
(GRUNTING)
(GASPS) How are you pushing me backwards?
130
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,480
I'm built differently!
131
00:05:16,066 --> 00:05:17,484
Pillow pillage!
132
00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:19,902
I can taste
victory already.
133
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,529
Does it taste
like grass?
134
00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,030
No. (GRUNTS)
135
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,699
Now it does.
136
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,659
(GRUNTS)
(GASPS)
137
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,327
Medic!
138
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,453
Man down!
139
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,247
(GASPS) Soldier!
140
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,332
Hang on!
Don't leave me.
141
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:37,128
(COUGHS) Tell my mom
I love her rice casserole.
142
00:05:37,129 --> 00:05:38,629
(GROANS)
143
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,506
That reminds me,
I'm hungry.
144
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,857
I'm off to
the casualty corner for some snacks.
145
00:05:43,302 --> 00:05:46,179
Enjoy. My mom made us
some pigs in a blanket.
146
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,764
Did somebody say
pigs in a blanket?
147
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,933
Fred, what are you doing?
148
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:53,060
Wow, I, uh, suddenly feel
149
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,812
uh, weak, out of sorts.
Fred, don't you do that, stop.
150
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:57,064
(COUGHS)
No!
151
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,150
(CHEERS)
Dance all you want, enemy.
152
00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:00,860
I still have my
trusty friend Bai...
153
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,236
Sorry, Gretel.
154
00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:05,406
I'm growing tired
of the ceaselessness of this war.
155
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:08,451
Plus, I, too,
am hungry.
156
00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,036
Save me a piggy.
Oh, come on, guys,
157
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,287
we're so close.
158
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,915
Oh, yeah!
This is gonna be fun.
159
00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:16,375
(LAUGHS) And you're almost
done 'cause it's two against one.
160
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,456
(BICYCLE BELL RINGS)
161
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,962
Hi, Lauren.
Surprise!
162
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:22,465
Oh, that's my brother.
Wait, Lauren-
163
00:06:22,466 --> 00:06:23,925
What are you
doing here?
164
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:25,551
Just visiting my twin sis.
165
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,261
What are you doing?
Are you guys having a pillow fight?
166
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,221
I wanna play.
No, Lyle.
167
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,974
I wanna keep
this job, so just go. But...
168
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,476
You're embarrassing me!
169
00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:35,353
Fine. I'll leave.
170
00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,521
You're like
the worst twin I've ever had.
171
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,524
(CRIES)
172
00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:43,861
(SOBBING)
I went the wrong way.
173
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,237
(SIGHS)
174
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,697
Sorry about that.
175
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,532
All good.
You just stepped out of bounds,
176
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,117
so you're automatically disqualified.
177
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:52,036
She's right.
I tried to warn ya.
178
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:55,039
It's fine.
It's just another thing my brother ruined for me.
179
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,624
Good luck.
180
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:58,876
Ooh. Processed meat
covered in pastry.
181
00:06:58,877 --> 00:06:59,927
My favorite.
182
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:07,176
(CRYING) I can't believe
she called me embarrassing.
183
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:08,227
Where's my hanky?
184
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:10,354
Thanks, Back-Lyle.
185
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,022
(BLOWS)
186
00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:17,187
I'll show her "embarrassing!"
187
00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:21,941
It's Fistpuncher.
188
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,360
I just happen to be flying by
with this oversized pillow
189
00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:25,903
and noticed there was
a pillow fight down here.
190
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,029
Well, that's random.
191
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,073
Yeah, totally random.
192
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:32,660
And not an overreaction
of my feelings being hurt by my sister
193
00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:35,746
on what was supposed
to be a very special day.
194
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:38,290
Well, it sounds like
this sister of yours
195
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,292
must have
a really good excuse,
196
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,043
and maybe
you should listen to her.
197
00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:43,921
Incoming!
198
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,297
(GRUNTS)
199
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,675
Wait. Does that mean?
I tried to tell you.
200
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:54,223
Lauren is
The Destructress. What?
201
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:56,017
Fistpuncher,
what are you doing?
202
00:07:56,018 --> 00:07:57,394
(GRUNTING)
203
00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,520
Just having some fun!
204
00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:00,605
(GROANS)
205
00:08:03,815 --> 00:08:06,819
How are we
supposed to fight him
206
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,654
when he has that
giant pillow sack?
207
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,165
(GASPS) That
gives me an idea.
208
00:08:10,166 --> 00:08:13,033
Hamster,
we're under attack. Go to Jack's Sack Shack
209
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,326
and bring back
the biggest sack.
210
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,828
The Jack's Sack Shack
by the racetrack?
211
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,663
That exact shack.
212
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,457
Let me backtrack.
You need a big whack sack from Jack's Sack Shack
213
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:21,167
to launch a counterattack
and get some payback.
214
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,502
Um, yes.
215
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,273
Well, I was just
playing Blackjack, but I got your back.
216
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,924
Wait five jacks.
This deck is stacked.
217
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:32,970
Lyle, stop!
You always wreck everything!
218
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,806
Yeah, that's our
whole brand, Lauren.
219
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:37,892
Why are you doing this?
220
00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:39,435
Because you ditched me,
221
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,020
didn't even say sorry,
222
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,897
and then you said,
"I was embarrassing."
223
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:45,524
Because you are!
224
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,984
GRETEL: So you were
playing Blackjack
225
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:48,194
with Zack from
the cul-de-sac?
226
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:50,112
When did he get back
from the Adirondack?
227
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,163
A couple of weeks...
228
00:08:51,907 --> 00:08:53,116
Ago.
229
00:08:53,117 --> 00:08:55,576
I can't believe
you just blew me off.
230
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:57,286
Ugh, grow up.
I'm allowed
231
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,079
to have my own life,
aren't I?
232
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,498
Yeah, sure.
233
00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:01,916
But you don't have to be
so mean about it.
234
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:03,542
(GROANS)
235
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,710
Just because we're evil
236
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,838
doesn't mean
you have to be evil to me!
237
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,883
That's fair, I guess.
238
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,885
But you could've
just said this to me.
239
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,887
Well, I'm... I'm s...
240
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:15,938
Sorry.
241
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,232
I'm sorry, too.
242
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,226
Nice words are hard.
243
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:21,352
Truce?
244
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:22,403
Truce.
245
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,448
What is that?
246
00:09:28,979 --> 00:09:31,070
No, no, no, wait.
247
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,446
He's not...
248
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,497
(SCREAMING)
249
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,992
Oops. Sorry, Lauren.
250
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,620
(LAUGHS)
251
00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,665
Whoa! You took
a sack-smack for me.
252
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,000
That's just being
a good evil twin.
253
00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:46,919
Well, you better get back
to babysitting.
254
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,712
I'll see you at home.
255
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:51,925
Hey, maybe we can split
a half birthday sundae when I'm done.
256
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:53,885
Oh, I'd like that.
257
00:09:57,722 --> 00:10:00,057
Wow, that was cool.
Wait. Where were you?
258
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:03,185
I was just, uh,
hiding under that hedge.
259
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:05,646
I can't even remember
what we were fighting for.
260
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,398
Total control over
the remote for a month
261
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,108
with bragging rights
in perpetuity.
262
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:12,444
Oh, right. But are we
on the same side now?
263
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,988
Yeah, we were always
on the same side.
264
00:10:13,989 --> 00:10:16,159
Hi, guys. I was just
hiding under that hedge.
265
00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:19,034
So who won?
No one yet.
266
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,911
But first... (CHUCKLES)
267
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:22,962
(ALL LAUGHING)
Oh! I'm gonna catch you!
268
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:25,624
HAMSTER:
As feathers fall like snow,
269
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,252
a new era of peace begins
270
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:31,630
not due to the pillow punches
or flanking maneuvers,
271
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,925
but the loving words
of a brother and sister.
272
00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:38,137
Oh, and also they made
a really, really big mess.
273
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,892
I mean, there were
feathers everywhere, and I mean everywhere.
274
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,978
What the heck is...
275
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,190
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
276
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,035
? Hamster and Gretel
277
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:09,002
? It's Hamster
278
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,463
? Hamster and Gretel ?
279
00:11:11,513 --> 00:11:16,063
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