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1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:05,338
? Who's the improbable duo
That you heard about?
2
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:09,050
? Faster than a scooter
Stronger than metal
3
00:00:09,051 --> 00:00:12,303
? Who's the little girl
And her domesticated rodent?
4
00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:15,556
? Who's still standing
When you see the dust settle?
5
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,850
? It's Hamster
Hamster, Hamster
6
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,769
? Hamster and Gretel
7
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:22,730
? If they can't do it
Then nobody can
8
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,899
? Hamster, Hamster, Hamster
9
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,359
? Hamster and Gretel
10
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,445
? There's also Kevin
In the minivan ?
11
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:36,140
Can you believe
we're in the actual diner that Barb used to own?
12
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,037
Spooky.
I know.
13
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,414
This is gonna be
the best vacation ever.
14
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:42,833
I'm going to
order the waffles.
15
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,919
Of course you're going
to order the waffles.
16
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,672
BOTH: It's what
she was famous for.
17
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:51,175
So who is this
"Barb" lady again?
18
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:53,844
Bayou Barb
is a legend in this town.
19
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:56,764
You see, she was
this diner's original owner,
20
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:59,225
known for her famous waffles.
21
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,270
But late one fateful night...
22
00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:05,107
(SOUTHERN ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
23
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:07,358
? Bayou Barb was hauling
24
00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:10,152
? Waffle irons
and skillets in her trunk
25
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:13,072
? Along with mixers
pots and pans
26
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,824
? And other kitchen junk
27
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:16,826
? The night
was dark and stormy
28
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:19,329
? She was going way too fast
29
00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:21,455
? Not knowing that
that midnight shift
30
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:24,710
? Was gonna be her last
31
00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:28,296
? Now coming up
on Dead Man's curve
32
00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:30,464
? She hydroplaned
began to swerve
33
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,675
? The car it launched off
of the curb
34
00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,802
? Into that old oak tree
35
00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:37,221
? The one thing
that she never knew
36
00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:39,432
? A truck had spilt
some toxic goo
37
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:45,063
? In another single
vehicle collision recently
38
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:49,595
MAN: And then there was
a mighty lightning strike.
39
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,903
CHORUS: ? Then Barb, the tree
the toxic waste
40
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:54,989
? And the kitchen stuff
all interlaced
41
00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:57,325
? In one horrific medley
42
00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:58,994
? Of wood and fuel and flesh
43
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,454
? Barb was changed forever
44
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,332
? But perhaps
not for the better
45
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,208
? Just a woman
and her waffle iron
46
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:07,960
? Forever intermeshed ?
47
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,463
MAN: Bayou Barb.
48
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:14,551
And after that,
Barb ran back into the bayou forever.
49
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:16,803
(BOTH LAUGH)
50
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:19,096
You guys realize
this Bayou Barb lady
51
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:20,723
is just made up
for the tourists, right?
52
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:23,351
Even I get that,
and I'm a literal child.
53
00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:25,603
It's probably just some guy
in a cheap rubber tree suit.
54
00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:27,313
Don't be disrespectful
to your elders
55
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,814
and to creepy tree women.
56
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,733
Why can't you kids
just lean into it?
57
00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:32,443
Oh, we'll lean into it,
all right.
58
00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:34,195
We'll lean into it
and prove that it's a hoax.
59
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:36,238
Yeah, and if, no,
when we prove it,
60
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:37,698
we get to go
on a real vacation,
61
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,200
to Swampopolis.
62
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,493
It's a theme park
ten miles from here.
63
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,495
Where we should've
gone in the first place.
64
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,546
BOTH: Deal.
65
00:02:43,547 --> 00:02:45,498
This is the tour
we're doing today.
66
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,124
"A day in the life
of Bayou Barb."
67
00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,459
It's five hours long.
68
00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:49,919
This is the greatest day
of my life.
69
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,629
You two enjoy
your ghost tour.
70
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,547
We're gonna go
on our own investigation.
71
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:55,966
Bayou Barb is not a ghost.
72
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,552
She's a horrific medley
of wood and steel and flesh.
73
00:02:58,553 --> 00:03:00,388
Did you... Did he
not hear the song?
74
00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,056
Kids don't listen
to the lyrics.
75
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,527
We'll bring you back
a commemorative something.
76
00:03:04,528 --> 00:03:07,395
KEVIN: Man, I can't believe
two fully grown adults
77
00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:08,771
are falling
for this kind of thing.
78
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,481
But how are we gonna
prove it's fake?
79
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:13,609
Psst. Kids. I couldn't help
but intentionally eavesdrop
80
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,069
while pretending
to sweep.
81
00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:17,655
Sounds like you're
a couple of non-believers.
82
00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:18,697
Yep.
Sure are.
83
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,741
Bayou Barb is real.
84
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:23,452
I've seen her
with my own two peepers.
85
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,621
Oh, really?
And where was that?
86
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:26,831
Deep in the bayou.
87
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:28,624
Just turn left at
the broken-down golf cart,
88
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,001
and watch for
the three telltale signs that Barb's near,
89
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,420
the smell of waffles,
90
00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:33,921
a trail of maple syrup,
91
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,714
and big old
waffle iron footprints.
92
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:36,882
Here, take this map.
93
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,092
Only $14.
94
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,844
Uh, we can
remember turn left
95
00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:41,720
at the broken-down golf cart.
We're not buying that.
96
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:42,847
Then buy this.
97
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:44,723
Bayou Barb
premium cotton T.
98
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,267
Only $39.
99
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,476
No, we're good.
100
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:48,644
Suit yourselves.
101
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:50,896
Good luck
and don't die.
102
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,064
Wait. What?
103
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,233
It's just good advice.
104
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:59,363
They say this post office
is where Bayou Barb once mailed a letter.
105
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,414
(ALL GASP)
106
00:04:00,415 --> 00:04:04,160
HAMSTER: And that's how
I wound up sharing a cab
107
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:06,078
with the premier
of Saskatchewan. (OWL HOOTS)
108
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,413
So is that
like a governor?
109
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:08,914
HAMSTER: Yes and no.
110
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,040
You see... Wait.
111
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,000
Do you guys smell
what I'm smelling?
112
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,051
It wasn't me.
113
00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,420
(SNIFFING)
It smells kind of like...
114
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:17,673
(GASPS) Waffles!
Just like that weird lady said.
115
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,259
(SNIFFS) Go over this way.
116
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,012
(GASPS) Maple syrup.
117
00:04:22,013 --> 00:04:24,346
Oh, hold on. Okay, we...
we don't know that
118
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,806
that's maple syrup.
Taste it.
119
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:29,226
What? I am not tasting
some gooey substance on the ground.
120
00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:31,021
(SIGHS WEARILY) Humans.
121
00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:34,983
It is maple syrup.
122
00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:36,650
The only thing
that this proves
123
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:37,860
is that this town
is very wasteful
124
00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,361
with its maple syrup.
125
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:41,892
It looks like it's coming
from the top of that hill.
126
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:43,958
Come on.
127
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,501
Big old
waffle iron footprints.
128
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,544
The weird lady
mentioned those, too.
129
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:58,923
Well, maybe there's
a local flightless bird
130
00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:01,133
whose claws
look like waffle irons.
131
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,678
EERIE VOICE:
Get out of my bayou.
132
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:07,014
Get out of my bayou!
133
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,849
Wait a minute.
I know that voice. Come on.
134
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:12,187
Get out of my bayou!
135
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:16,398
Get out of my bayou!
136
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:19,069
Get out of my bayo...
137
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:22,364
Ah, nuts.
138
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,701
And here we are
at the world famous Bayou Barb museum.
139
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,954
Behold Bayou Barb's
most treasured items.
140
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:32,998
Her used handkerchief,
a greasy rubberband,
141
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,750
and, of course, her cup,
142
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,210
which she drank from
143
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:37,837
while making
her famous waffles.
144
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,421
It's one of a kind.
145
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:40,506
Hey, let us touch the cup.
146
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:41,966
Let us touch the cup.
147
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,968
The brochure said
we get to touch the cup.
148
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:46,095
Slow down, folks.
149
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,138
We'll all get
to touch the... (GASPS)
150
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,933
(ALL GASP)
151
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:51,892
Oops.
152
00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:54,228
Don't worry.
We got plenty more cups.
153
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:57,148
And uh, Barb
has touched all of them.
154
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:01,211
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
You had me worried there for a second.
155
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,363
I knew it was fake.
It's all smoke and mirrors.
156
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,823
Well, in my defense,
157
00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:08,242
most folks don't come
into the shack.
158
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,785
They run away screaming.
159
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,328
Well, we're not
most folks.
160
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,454
So this is it.
161
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:13,998
You've been
single-handedly
162
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,708
perpetuating this
whole fake myth?
163
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,668
Not single-handedly.
164
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,962
You see, the legend's
gotten so famous,
165
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:22,133
we've got to do
everything we can to keep up.
166
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:23,883
It takes a village,
167
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,759
or in our case, a town.
168
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:27,469
Hey, Mary, I brought
your lunch.
169
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,846
Thanks, Bill.
170
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:29,889
You wanna sit a spell?
171
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,181
Nah, thanks, Mary.
172
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,100
But these
Bayou Barb footprints
173
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,518
aren't gonna
make themselves.
174
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:35,686
Alright, see ya.
175
00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:38,188
So it is all scam?
Who's to say?
176
00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:40,065
But it gives us
a sense of community.
177
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,942
More importantly,
it keeps us swimming
178
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,528
in that sweet
tourist moolah.
179
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,614
Hey, now,
you're not gonna post that, are ya?
180
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,115
It'll ruin everything.
181
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,075
No, we just
need to win a bet with our parents.
182
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,661
All right?
I'm all for sticking it to Mom and Dad.
183
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:55,372
But you know the old saying?
I scratch your back,
184
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:57,833
you buy my Bayou Barb
premium cotton T.
185
00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:58,884
Only $39.
186
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,546
Well,
hoax it is. Yup.
187
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,965
But it's nice
how the hoax brings the whole town together.
188
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:07,259
Yeah, like
the cleaning lady...
189
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,178
(WOMAN SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY) (CREAKING)
190
00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,930
Moist.
And this lady right here.
191
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:14,308
What the!
Get out of here!
192
00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:15,809
You get, get...
193
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,019
Okay, I got to
hand it to you,
194
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,937
that is a pretty
impressive costume.
195
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:21,815
Yeah, that whisk really does
look fused to your body.
196
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:23,025
Nice prosthetics.
197
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:26,070
Prosthetics?
Who are you?
198
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,905
Get out of my bayou!
199
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:29,531
(MIMICS)
Get out of my bayou!
200
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:30,783
(CHUCKLES)
That was good.
201
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:31,950
You guys really
stick to the script.
202
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,912
I said, get out!
203
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,213
Whoa! Cool.
204
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,333
Oh, now you've done it.
205
00:07:40,152 --> 00:07:43,462
Either the
special effects budget
206
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,589
in this town
is huge, or...
207
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,383
BOTH: Bayou Barb is real!
208
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,634
Run!
209
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,844
Eat potholes,
city-slickers!
210
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:51,895
Ow!
211
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,350
Ow, that bacon is sharp.
212
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,146
Hamster, come on!
213
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:05,284
Gotcha!
214
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,444
Give me that camera,
215
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,739
or you're
gonna be breakfast.
216
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,762
Well it is the most important
meal of the day.
217
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,576
Hamster and Gretel!
218
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,371
Wait, you know
who we are?
219
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:18,789
I live in a bayou,
not under a rock.
220
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,583
Now eat waffles!
221
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:32,928
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(KEVIN SCREAMS)
222
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,013
MAN: ? Hey, tell me why you
223
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:38,350
? Wanna start some trouble
down in the bayou
224
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,686
? The swamp is otherwise
a peaceful place
225
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:43,689
? Maybe we can talk about it
face-to-face
226
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,191
? There's nothing down here
but some Spanish moss
227
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,402
? A bunch of croc baddies
and some Cajun sauce
228
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:51,029
? So, hey, tell me why you
229
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:54,075
? Wanna start some trouble
down in the bayou
230
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,621
? Hey, tell me why you
231
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:02,000
? Wanna start some trouble
down in the bayou ?
232
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:10,300
All right, all right,
we give up.
233
00:09:10,301 --> 00:09:12,634
I never thought
an endless stream of delicious,
234
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,470
fast-flying waffles
would wear me out.
235
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,889
Yeah.
Why can't all our fights be this scrumptious?
236
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,558
Yeah, well,
that's because...
237
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,019
Wait, you really
like my waffles?
238
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,562
Are you kidding me?
239
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,647
They're incredible.
240
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:28,358
Exquisite.
Pillowy soft, even
241
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:29,693
Well, shucks.
242
00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:32,072
I have been tweaking
the recipe a bit.
243
00:09:32,073 --> 00:09:34,281
You know, it's been
tough all these years,
244
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,784
living alone in the bayou
with no one to taste 'em.
245
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,410
You must
miss your diner.
246
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:41,205
Like a rat
misses sewage.
247
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,665
(BOTH GROAN)
HAMSTER: Interesting comparison.
248
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:46,461
Oh, those diner days
were the best of my life.
249
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:49,923
Folks came for the waffles
and stayed for my sass.
250
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:54,176
Elbows off the table,
tip me if you're able. (LAUGHS)
251
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:56,512
Why don't you go back to your
diner and run it like you used to?
252
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,430
Are your eyes just
decorating your face?
253
00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,556
Look at me.
254
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,433
I'm an outcast.
255
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:04,561
After the accident,
folks were so scared of me,
256
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:06,397
I had no choice
but to live out here.
257
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,732
It's not so bad.
258
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,401
I eat whatever I catch,
and I've got my crosswords.
259
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:14,113
Speaking of which, do you kids
know the capital of Estonia?
260
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,781
Give me another waffle
and I'll tell you.
261
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,825
Well, times
have changed, Barb. Yep.
262
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,661
We paid to wear
a picture of you.
263
00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:22,454
This town
has been cashing in on your notoriety for years.
264
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,123
It's time for you
to get a piece of the pie.
265
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,750
Hmm. Get it, girl.
266
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,711
Yeah? You guys
really think I can get it?
267
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,340
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
268
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:37,010
Touch this cup.
269
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,096
I'm local reporter,
Veronica Brill.
270
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:40,848
What are your plans
for the future, Barb?
271
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,683
Ah, nothing fancy.
272
00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:47,271
I just wanna get back
to running my diner and also cash in on my fame.
273
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,857
Who wants a Bayou Barb
premium cotton T.
274
00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:51,358
(CROWD CHEERS)
275
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:52,943
(SADLY) Oh.
It's really her?
276
00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:55,112
Well, now that
the mystery is over,
277
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,780
I feel like there's
nothing left to do here.
278
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,824
What do you say
we take the kids to Swampopolis?
279
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,242
(BOTH CHEER)
280
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:01,743
Pardon me, folks.
281
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,620
You could
go to Swampopolis.
282
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,998
Or you could go
one town over,
283
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,000
where there's a fellow
who's half man,
284
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,960
half goat, half lawnmower.
285
00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,921
Here's a map.
Only $64.
286
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,965
Count us in!
Take our money.
287
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:15,891
(BOTH GROAN)
288
00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:20,442
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