All language subtitles for Fisk S02E01

Ooh!

Hello. Welcome to Blendology.

Finally. A new cafe.

OK, I'm going to have a
small latte, takeaway please.

We don't actually do coffee.

Oh, yes, you do, it's
Melbourne. I think it's the law.

Everyone does coffee.
Sushi bars do coffee.

The carwash does coffee.
You do coffee. Come on!

We're actually a
blended beverage bar.

We focus on health and wellness.

Wellness. Is that even a thing?

Mm-hm.

I'm Melcome. Hi, Malcolm.

Melcome. Yeah,
that's what I said.

You said 'Malcolm',
as in 'talcum'.

It's Melcome, as in 'welcome'.

Oh, OK. Well, hello,
Melcome, as in welcome.

I'm Helen, as in
smellin'. That's not...

You could try a Kale to the
Chief or a Total Nut Job.

That's a bit of fun.

Or a number 12, the
Berry Good Time.

Yeah, alright, I'll
have a number 12.

A Berry Good Time?
Yes, one of those.

Fantastic. And what
base would you like?

You could have nut mylk, soy
mylk, oat mylk, rice mylk.

Nut mylk.

Almond, macadamia,
coconut, cashew?

I could do you a blend.

Hmm.

Morning, Captain. Hi, Helen!

Doing some pre-flight
checks? What?

What's this? Oh, it's
my gaming headset.

Patched it into
the phone system.

Ah, you're a bit of a gamer? I
don't really like the word gamer.

Let's just say I've extensive
Rubble Runner knowledge.

Is Rubble Runner a game?
More a demolition simulator.

You operate machinery, knock
stuff down, blow stuff up.

That actually sounds
strangely satisfying.

I'm live-streaming a demolition
tonight. Are you on Twitch?

Nah, I'm not really
looking to meet anyone.

It's a streaming service. I'll
sign you up so you can watch me.

Watch you pretend to
demolish something?

Yeah, how about I
pretend to watch you?

Funny. But
also a bit ignorant.

Morning. Ooh, hello.

Now, don't forget we have staff
training tonight, you two.

Oh, no, I can't, Roz. I've
got my live-stream event.

Alright, you're excused.
Yeah, can I be excused, too?

'Cause I'm helping George
with his live-stream event.

No, you're not.
Why would you not help me?

Good. 5pm in the meeting room.

Lindy Baxter Smythe from
Topline Mediation is coming in.

How good are the blended
beverages? Mmm! I'm loving them.

Oh, I'm having a Greengasm.

Yuck! Greengasm?

Why would you not say that I
can help you in your streaming?

I can help. What would you do?

I... I would work the mouse.

Oh, come on.

Why would you put it here?
Now, don't have a fit.

It's not staying
in here forever.

When have I ever had a fit?

It's moving to the archive room

as soon as we can work out
how to get it in there.

Why can't it go in reception?

I can't have a photocopier
roaring away in reception.

It's a public space.

I can't have it roaring away in here
either, Roz. It's a private space.

My private space.

I just said don't have a fit,
and now here you are, fitting.

Where's your bin?

Hey, there's a lot of heat coming
off that thing. Is that normal?

Mm, I think so.

Now do you need me to take
you through how to use it?

I really don't. I'm good. I
can work it out for myself.

Oh, welcome. Come on in...

George, what do you think? Yeah,
it's massive. Is it vintage?

Roz in here?
Everyone's in here.

Hello. Look at this beast.

Yeah. Roz bought a
new aircraft carrier.

It's the HP Docufast M90.

Thought we were going
to get a compact copier.

That would have been
sensible. We were, but then...

I found this one on Gumtree.

Well, you know I love a bargain.

Speaking of which,
you still watching

the Queen Anne armoire on eBay?

Yes. Auction ends 3pm.

Hey, maybe we could take the water
cooler chat out to the water cooler.

Or does anyone need
another blended beverage?

14 bucks for a nut
juice? I don't think so.

Jeez, Fisk, you might
want to slow down

on the old breakfast milkshakes.

There's a shit-tonne of
calories in those things.

Ray, don't fat-shame.
Not in this office.

And, go.

Go.

Oh. There you go,
Georgie. Well done.

Webmaster, you coming?

Leslie. Good to see you again.

This is our webmaster, George.

What have you got there?
Oh, don't say Greengasm.

It's a Greengasm,
with ginkgo bilbobo.

I feel really focused. Mm-hm?

I'm not sure I even need these.

Sorry, it's really
hot in my office.

OK, what can I do for you?

Oh, right, we're
straight into it.

I've barely sat down.

How are you, Helen?

Uh. I'm a bit hot, but you
know, otherwise, I'm OK.

Mmm.

And how are you, Leslie?

I'm fine. Mmm?

You know, still
struggling with Mum gone.

For your loss, Leslie. Losing a
loved one is really difficult.

Thank you. Oh, I have
good days, and bad days.

Yeah. So why don't we try and turn
this into one of the good days?

What can I do for you?

Oh, well, Keith Budge is
contesting Mum's will.

Right. Yeah.

Who's Keith Budge?

He's the tenant that rents
the little granny flat

out the back of Mum's place.

OK, well you can't kick him out.
This says he has a two-year lease.

Yeah, I told Mum,
"Don't sign anything."

Oh, but would she listen? No,
because what would I know?

It's like when I said, "Don't
answer the landline, Mum.

"Nobody calls on that but scammers
and telemarketers" you know?

So, what exactly is the problem?

Right, well, this Mr Keith Budge

says Mum promised to leave
him money in her will.

Well, she didn't. I know.

But could you tell
him that, please?

Because he is making a
real pest of himself with,

"Oh, where's my money? Your
mum promised me some money."

And I say, "Listen, Keith Budge,
you listen to me, because..."

Yeah. Hey, do you want me
to talk to Keith Budge?

I could talk to him right
now and sort this out.

Have you got this number?

I'll give him a call. Yes,
yes, of course I have, yes.

Oh, gosh, the ginkgo
bilbobo's worn off.

Ah, there it is.

Alright.

Keith Budge? I
represent Leslie Slade.

And I wish to inform you that no
provision has been made for you

in her mother's will.

In layman's terms, that means
no money for you, mister.

That's right.

Thank you very much.

All good?

Nope. He's lawyered up.

Alright, here we go.

Ink strength.
50% should do it.

A4 paper, and go.

How are you going
with the new copier?

Oh, my God, Helen, you're all
sweaty and ruddy in the face.

Did you go out for
a jog? In your suit?

No. Roz, it's the photocopier.
Can't you feel it?

It's giving off the
most ferocious heat.

It is quite warm in here.
Maybe we should get a fan.

Oh, yes, please.

I don't want this
copier overheating.

Ooh, look, done already.

Oh, you know it
scans, too? Yep.

Let me show you.
No, thank you.

Where shall we scan to?
Someone else's office.

Great idea. Reception.

Yes, now you go and check.
Make sure it comes through.

Alright, here I go.

Scanning.

No, I'm not. I'm not scanning.

Here, I'm scanning.

I'm not scanning! Have
you got a sec, Ray?

Yeah, make it quick.
Leave the door open, Fisk.

I had a cabbage soup last night.
I'm trying to shift a few pounds.

I've got a reunion coming up.

Getting together with the
boys from the old firm -

Dodge, Hawk and Prowsie.

Where's that? Is
that in Sydney? What?

Dodge, Hawk and Prowsie.
No, they're the guys.

The firm was Walker
& Associates.

Dodge, Hawk and Prowsie. And
let me guess, who were you?

Were you Grubes? Grubbo?
Grub-a-Dub-Dub? GrubeTube?

Stinger. I don't...
How does that work?

Ray. Stingray. Stinger. Wow.

Wish I went to
private boys' school.

Really don't, Fisk.
What do you need?

I need the photocopier
out of my office.

What's going on with your face?

You're all red, like
an angry emow-ji.

Honestly, I think the
photocopier's core is melting down.

It's radiating immense heat.

I'm pretty sure it's not
nuclear powered, Fisk.

I can't concentrate

with people coming in and
out of my office all day.

Tell me about it.
Take it up with Roz.

Ugh. Take what up with Roz?

Oh, for God's sake, you're not still
having a fit about the photocopier?

Stop saying 'having a fit.'
You're not allowed to say that.

And I'm not even having one.

You sure? You're
pretty red in the face.

Now did a scan
come through here?

I'm not seeing it.

Oh, for God's sake,
Raymond, open a window.

Hey. Don't fart-shame,
Roz. Not in this office.

Ooh. Is this the live-stream?

Are we on now? Can they see me?

No, this is just the pre-show.

ZennyChen29?

Yeah. Thank you.

Is that from Blendology? Yep.

You Uber Eats'd it? Yeah.

From downstairs?
It's just easier.

Whatever. See you.

Where are you going? You've
got training, remember?

Yeah. I've got to go take
a shower. Look at me.

Well, make sure you come back.
Training is really important.

I'm serious.

Hey, buddy.

Ooh. Viktor.

That was the mat.

That was the mat
squeaking on the floor.

OK. What are you
doing home so early?

I just came home to get
changed, then I'm going back in.

What's all this?

Well it's getting a bit
tricky since you moved in.

This is our yoga
studio, after all.

Yes, I know. I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry, be proactive about
finding somewhere else to live.

I'm joking, Helen. Right.

So hang on, does that mean
you've been coming in here

the whole time I've
been living here?

Yes. Who do you think
tidies up every day?

Thought we had a cleaner. No,
Helen, we don't have staff.

Namaste, Your Honour.

Namaste, Tip. Afternoon,
Helen. Hi, Dad.

Are you joining us
for yoga? - No.

Welcome back, everyone.

Thank you so much. We're
playing Rubble Runner today.

We're going to try the
skid steer out today.

This is a wonderful
piece of machinery.

It could get really,
really crazy.

Thank you very much, Orion9000.

Sorry I'm late. I've had to
duck home and have a shower.

But I'm here now. Go.
What are we doing?

Helen. This is Lindy Baxter
Smythe from Topline Mediation.

Hey, I... I know you.

You're the... You're
the book festival lady.

Oh, guilty as charged.

I do indeed wear many hats -

mediator, executive coach,
professional interlocutor,

and, most importantly, mum

to three beautiful ragdoll cats.

But enough about me.

Let's go around the grounds
and introduce ourselves.

Hello, I'm Roz.

I too wear many hats -

probate specialist -
recently reinstated,

office manager slash
director of operations,

keen netballer - goal
attack, of course -

and I do enjoy a little
bit of decoupage.

Goodness me, that
is a lot of hats.

You're like a
one-woman hatstand.

Oh, hello, I'm Helen.

And I have a dog.

And I live with my Dad.

Well, not a lot of hats,
but some very nice ones.

Thank you, Helen.

Shall we crack on?

First and foremost,
mediation is about...

Not clogging up
the court system.

It's about listening, with
both of these and all of this.

Of course. The heart.

Now, our focus for
today's session -

reframe the situation.

Helen, what's your understanding
of today's training?

I'm not entirely sure.

Well, perhaps because
you haven't been...

Told. ..listening.

You know what? How about we
check in on our energy levels?

Out of 10, I'm
sitting around an 8.3.

Roz, where are you?
Oh, isn't that funny?

I'm exactly the same. 8.3.

Helen.

Uh, I don't understand
the question.

Thank you.

I love Twitch.

Alright, so now we're
gonna destroy a few houses.

These people won't
know what hit them.

This is all making sense, Lindy,

and I feel like I knew a
lot of it instinctively.

Mmm. You've got a really
good feel for mediation.

Now why don't we try and put
all this theory on its feet?

What do you say, Helen?

Helen, are you listening?

Are you listening?

Yes, I'm listening, with both
of these and one of these.

What are we doing?

I'm after a
hypothetical situation,

something that could be resolved

using the techniques
we've learned today.

Mm. Ooh. I know.

How about an employee is upset

because they've put a massive
photocopier in her office

and it's making the room
hotter than the sun.

Not only that, everyone now gathers
in there like it's the town square

and she can't get any work done.

Alright, let's go with that.

Mmm, I don't know, Lindy.
This feels a bit petty.

Oh, no, 99% of all mediations
are petty disputes.

Yeah.

Now, for homework,
I would like you

to practise the
CALMER techniques,

in particular this one, R for...

Reframe the situation.
Well done, Roz.

Well done? It's
written on the board.

So with mediation, you really
do need to build up the trust.

Whoa! Oh, well done.

Oh! Yes.

Oh, that felt great.

Why don't we reverse that and
try it the other way round?

That's it. Good.

And, Roz, do you feel
comfortable doing this?

I've done this many times.

Helen. Helen!

Helen, control your dog.
It just lunged at me.

Shoo.

Hey, there he is.
ZennyChen, Rubble King.

The demolition man.

Saw you on Twitch.
Did you watch much?

Yeah, I did. I got into it.

I even went in the chat.
Did you see my comment?

You mean. "Hi, George"
and the crying face emoji?

Yeah, I was trying
to leave a thumbs up,

but then Roz was getting all
blah-blah, and I got distracted.

So is this Twitch thing
like your side hustle?

I'd say that this
job is my side hustle

and Rubble Runner is
a lifestyle choice.

Yeah, nice. I'm gonna get it
into it. I really had fun.

Oh, and this shop
called you back.

They said they do have a brown
burkini, but only in size 22.

Bikini or burkini? Burkini.

Excellent! Thank you.

Hi, there. I'm Helen.
Hi. Debbie Lim.

This is my client, Keith Budge,
but don't engage him directly.

Don't talk to him, talk
to me instead, please.

OK.

My client is making
a claim for $30,000.

Yeah, I've heard.
On what grounds?

Member of household.

Uh, Dorothy and I were
intimate partners.

I was supposed to be
included in the will.

Oh, I'm sorry. What'd you say?

I should have been
included in the will.

Yeah, no, the other bit.

Keith and Dorothy were
intimate partners.

Dorothy, Leslie's
mother? No, they weren't.

He's just some random guy that
rents the granny flat out the back

and sometimes does the garden.

OK, are we done?

Can you prove that they
weren't intimate partners?

Can you prove that they were?

Well, we have a sworn
affidavit right here.

OK, is that from Dorothy
Slade? No, she passed away.

I'm still hurting. I
miss her every day.

Thank you so much.
Keith. Stop talking.

Yeah, please stop talking.

I said don't talk to my client.

In this affidavit,

Keith has laid out the details
of their intimate relationship.

Oh, well, that's nice.

I'll ask you to read
from it now, Keith.

"Dorothy Slade, my octo...

"ge..my, my octogener..."

Octogenarian.

"octogenarian angel,

"you live on in my heart forever,
and also in the topiary bush that

"I sculpted in your image
in the front garden."

What? Exhibit A.

"Our mornings were spent
lazing in Dorothy's bed,

"enjoying the sun and the
closeness of each other's bodies.

"Often, I would feed
her honey toast."

Exhibit B. That's
a picture of toast.

What does that prove?
There's not even honey on it.

Exhibit C.

Honey. Great.

"Afterwards, I would gently brush
the crumbs from her night..."

Don't show me a picture of crumbs.
I know what crumbs look like.

Sorry, are you seriously claiming
to be Dorothy Slade's partner?

Oh, it was more soulmates. It
was a real meeting of the minds.

Ugh. Stop talking,
please, Keith.

No improvising. Stick
to the affidavit.

You got it.

We often gave each other
pleasure in the mornings...

Oh, alright! Question
for you, Keith.

If you're so familiar
with Dorothy's bedroom,

what colour was the bedspread?

I wanna say...
Don't answer that.

What about the carpet?
What about the curtains?

What colour were
they? Oh, both grey.

The carpet matched
the curtains. What?

Sorry, are we talking
about her pubic hair?

No, we're... No. Oh, my God, I'm
talking about the actual carpet.

What colour was the
carpet? WAS there carpets?

Were there floorboards?
Were there blinds?

Tell me about the room.
It's hard to remember.

Yeah, you know why?

'Cause you've never set foot in
the house, let alone the bedroom.

I suggest you take
this work of fiction

and try and get
yourself a book deal.

Do you really want to go to court?
Don't you have better things to do?

No. Yes!

I mean, no, I don't
want to go to court,

yes, I have better things to do.

Then advise your
client to settle,

and this all goes
away, just like that.

Like what?

Like that.

I'm snapping my fingers.

Are you? 'Cause
I'm not hearing it.

Listen. Like that.

Don't snap for me!

Just advise your
client to pay up.

I'm actually quite interested
in that book deal you mentioned.

Who do I have to
speak to about that?

Keith, stop talking.

Let's go. Sorry.

G'day, chief.

Integrating your personal
styles. I like it.

Forgot to pack me shirt.

It's all good. It's quite
a practical piece of kit.

Where are the
chocolate chip cookies?

I asked Roz to buy boring
biscuits so I wouldn't be tempted.

I can't have chocolate.
I'm shredding.

If you're after a snack, I
might have something back here.

Have a bit of a... A
little bit of a rummage.

I'll just take this one.
Oh, yeah, go for it.

Twiggy stick! Bit
of processed meat.

Strong choice.

Oh, thank you, Roz. Actually,
it might be better on this side.

It's not for you.

Don't you move that.

Don't!

Hey, Ray, what do
you know about...

Oh! Piew! Stinks
of fish in here.

What do you know
about Debbie Lim?

Hey, don't get comfortable,
Fisk. I'm busy.

You're not busy. You're
eating a can of tuna.

Yeah, but I'm thinking
about work while I'm eating.

My advice on Debbie Lim -
pay her off. Get rid of her.

But her claim is
absolute rubbish.

You don't have time to get in
a fight with Lim, trust me.

She's an expert at
nuisance claims.

What's with the cat food?
All part of the big shred.

I'm getting my rig in shape.
Gotta lose these last five kegs.

Didn't know you had a rig, Ray.

When I drop the kegs, the
rig will reveal itself.

It's like The Block.
Rig Reveal Day.

Yes. It's exactly like that!

Yeah, I think he's
smarter than he looks.

And I've met the
lawyer. She's a bulldog.

Oof. Is it me, or is
it really hot in here?

No. I'm sorry, it is
really hot in here.

You're right.

It feels like a scam.

Yeah, we call it
a nuisance claim.

It's when someone claims
an amount small enough that

it's often more cost effective
to pay them to go away.

I wouldn't call
$30,000 a small amount.

They start high but
they'll come down.

What if I could
get it down to 10?

Dollars?

Thousand. $10,000.

$10,000?

That's a lot of money.

I could buy a hot tub with that.

Oh, wouldn't you love a hot tub?

No. I've always
wanted a hot tub.

Yeah, no.

The thing is, if we
let them drag this out,

you won't be able to access any
money from your mother's estate

till the claim's settled, and
that could take up to two years.

Two years? I know.
You could be dead.

Oh, Helen! I'm trying
to motivate you to...

No, you are absolutely
right. OK, let's do it.

Let's pay him off.

Goddamn flim-flam man.

Pardon my French. Yeah.

So that's a pretty good result,
getting them down to 10,000.

Mm, good riddance. I'm glad
to see the back of him.

Ooh, just to be clear - Keith
Budge isn't going anywhere.

He still has a two year
lease on that granny flat.

I thought the whole idea was
we pay him to make him go away.

No, we paid to make
the claim go away.

But it didn't go away.

He still got $10,000.

OK, let's reframe the situation.

Yes, you paid him $10,000,

but in so doing, you saved yourself
at least $10,000 in legal fees.

So when you look at it like that,
the $10,000s cancel each other out,

and in fact, nothing
actually happened.

Do you think I'm senile?

Do you like the bit where I
say my drag name would be Judy,

as in Judge Judy?

Yeah, I do. I'm not sure
it belongs in your memoir.

Oh. Hi, Hels.

Ah, Helen, right, now,
before you rush off...

I'm not rushing
off. Oh, well, good.

I did some measuring
this morning

and discovered that our little
studio is very close the boundary.

I'm worried the council might
tell us to pull it down.

Wow. That feels like a very elaborate
way to get me to move out, Viktor.

Oh, Helen, no-one's
asking you to move out.

Of course not. I'm not concerned
about your father's reputation.

What if a neighbour reported us?

Oh, dear, I can just
see the headlines now.

"Judge thinks he's above the
law." "Judgement Day for Fisk."

Yeah. Have to be a pretty
slow news day, Dad.

Have a look at the clause
pertaining to setbacks.

I haven't got my glasses.
Can you read it, Helen?

Yes.

You're looking a
bit thin, darling.

Are you eating
enough? Oh, it's work.

They've put this massive
photocopier in my office.

It's turned the place into a
sauna. I'm sweating buckets.

Your father's right. You
don't want to get gaunt.

Not with that hair. You'll
look like a scarecrow.

Do you want some cheesecake?

Get her some cheesecake, Tip.

Yeah, get me some
cheesecake, Tip.

I think we're good.

Look, this is a heritage sub-clause.
It doesn't apply to this house.

Oh, that's a relief.
Mm, isn't it?

I want a big piece, please,
Viktor. I'm very thin.

And do you have any of that
whipped cream in a can?

I love that stuff.

Is there anything
else I can get you?

Oh, I'd love a coffee.

Leslie?

Helen Tudor Fisk. Yeah.

I'm sorry to call so late.

Just - quick question.

How old is your mother's
house, just roughly?

Ooh. Federation.

Morning, Leslie.

Hello, Helen.

Big day.

Still happy to go ahead?

Yes. I've had a think about it.

I think it's the perfect
spot for a hot tub.

If that's what you want.
Alrighty, let's do it.

Let's go around the back
and wait for George.

And I will give Keith
Budge the bad news.

Mm-hm.

Ugh.

Yeah?

Keith Budge.
Remember me? Yeah.

According to
council regulations,

this studio is too
close to the boundary

and my client has no choice
but to knock it down.

Oh, I've got a lease.

Mm. Unfortunately, this
dwelling is illegal,

which renders your
lease null and void.

So what does that mean? It
means put your shirt on, buddy.

You got 15 minutes to get out.

What? Or you'll
knock my house down?

Not me personally, but I do have
ZennyChen, Rubble King, standing by.

I feel powerful,
Helen! Attaboy.

Bloody hell.

Tick-tock, Keith.
Let's get moving.

Standing by!

Oh, appreciate your enthusiasm,
but we do have to let him get out.

Hurry up, buddy. I can't
hold him off forever.

He's antsy.

Rubble Runner!

Fisk, are you shredding? Looks
like you've lost a few kegs.

No, it's just water weight.

I'm sweating off kilos because
of that stupid photocopier.

Enough said. I'll get it moved.

Thank you.

Captions by Red Bee Media

Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation