All language subtitles for 6x03 - Bossy Cups.1 ENG

"Hot in Cleveland" is recorded

in front
of a live studio audience.

Well, something just fell
off the handsome truck.

He is cute.

Watch me zap that silver fox
with my blue lasers.

What the hell?

Wow, that's never
happened before.

It's your fault.

I'm shrouded in spinster fog.

Elka, we are not spinsters.

We are sophisticated,
desirable women

with a million exciting things
going on in our lives.

Oh, look!
New coffee sleeves.

And they have sayings on them.

"Freedom comes
from self-reliance."

You know, this coffee sleeve
has a point.

I pay people to do everything
for me.

I mean, why did I pay 20 bucks
to get this button sewn on?

That's what I charge.

I mean, I know it's just a cup,

but I was just telling
my radio listeners the other day

that inspiration
can come from anywhere.

Mine says,
"Make your brilliance known."

Well, as it happens, cup,
my agent says a big sponsor

is looking to build a whole
lifestyle website around me.

- Like Oprah and Gwyneth's?
- Exactly.

Now, it turns out
people are dying to hear

Oscar-certified advice
and celebrity tips.

Like my thought on fasting.

"When you feel like eating,
don't."

That's just one.

Let's read Elka's cup.

"Perseverance is
the soul of success."

I think it's talking
about the silver fox.

You should try again.
Persevere.

Well, I guess it's time
to bring out the big guns.

My dimples.

Excuse me?

Need some sugar?

No, thanks.

Oh, stop that.

These aren't for you.

♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba ♪

♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

So, Paula, it's been three weeks

and the screen door
is still broken?

Yes, and when I reminded
my husband,

he accused me of nagging.

I mean, what am I
supposed to do?

All right, sweetheart,
men only want three things...

Sex, food, and sex.

So here's what you got to do...

No. You think sex is
the answer to everything.

Okay, give me a scenario
where it's not.

Um, okay, you've been
in a horrible accident,

and your arm has been severed.

If that's the only thing
that's been severed,

sex is still the answer.

Anyway, Paula, maybe forget
asking for your husband to help

and fix the door yourself.

You know, I read
something inspirational today.

"Freedom comes
from self-reliance."

Yeah, Melanie hasn't had
a date in a while,

so self-reliance is
her only source of freedom.

I'm talking about doing
something with my own hands.

I... mean...

I am going to install shelves
in my closet.

I'd like to see that.

Well, then you are welcome
to come over.

And when I'm finished,
you'll be eating crow.

I've had your cooking, Melanie.
It all tastes like crow.

Ding!
That's round one to Frankie.

No, no, it is not.
Paula, disregard the ding.

- Paula?
- Now look what you did.

You went and scared off
our caller.

Hey, I'm back.

I just had sex with my husband,
and it worked.

- He's fixing the screen door?
- Yes!

He's out there right now
with a smile on his face.

Thanks, Frankie.

Ding.

I don't get it.

These dimples have worked
for eight decades.

Let it go.

There's plenty of fish
in the sea.

Oh, he's too pretty
to throw back.

So what are you gonna do?

Flatter him by acting interested
in whatever he says.

I'll put on my listening face.

That works.

Even the dullest, most annoying
people in the world

are thrilled when someone
pays attention to them.

Fascinating.

You miserable old bat.

I got this.

Oh, Elka,
you'll want to hear this.

I have big news about me.

Fascinating.

Ah, she's a dear, isn't she?

I was just on the phone
with my website team,

and they want to capture my
lifestyle by doing videos of me.

Really?
Hasn't that been done to death?

They want to include you.

Well, there's a fresh twist.

Are you serious? Me?

Yeah, they like the idea
of a British sidekick.

Jolly bloody brilliant!

And they're open to anything.

I mean, whatever we do
in real life

could be an episode
on the website.

Well, let's pour a glass of wine
and think of an idea.

That's got to be Frankie.

This is gonna be so sweet.

Well, well, well, it's Frankie.
Perfect timing.

I just finished installing
my shelves.

This is a mess.

It's not my fault.
The stud finder doesn't work.

Let me see this thing.

Beep, beep, beep.
Yes, it does.

Just tell me what I need to do
to fix it.

Well, for starters,
you got to drywall.

Duh, drywall.

What's that?

Plasterboard.

Look, it's easy. All you
got to do is clean up the hole,

cut a piece of drywall,
screw it into the studs,

tape the seams,
apply the joint compound,

and then all you got to do
is sand it, prime it,

couple coats of paint,
and you're done.

Clean... out...

the... hole.

Look, I know a guy
over at the strip club.

He could probably do it for you
for a couple hundred bucks max.

But you got to pay him
in singles,

because he's going out tonight.

You're the guy
from the strip club?

- Smart girl.
- Yeah.

May I join you?

I guess.

I'm Elka.

I'm Jim.

Jim.
What a fascinating name.

What are you doing there?

I'm cost journaling.

I keep track
of every purchase I make.

Tell me more.

Which makes it an even $19
on toiletries.

It's interesting
how it all adds up, isn't it?

"Interesting" is not the word
for it.

Wait till I tell you
how much I spend on electricity.

It's a shocker.

Did you catch that one?

I did.

I like talking to you, Elka.

And you are so handsome.

I'm so excited to be developing
this website with you.

Apropos of nothing, are there
awards for this type of thing?

There are.

And if it blows up, crazy money.

We've got loads of
brilliant ideas for the website.

That accent... gold mine!
Love that.

The thing that really
makes this special

is the Victoria/Joy dynamic.

- Oh, good, she's here.
- Who's here?

Well, as I mentioned,
we love the Joy character.

Character.
You mean me?

When a sponsor's putting up
this much money,

they always want choices.

Bloody hell,
it's brass monkeys out there.

Oh, my God, it's Victoria Chase!

You're even more beautiful
in person.

Oh, I like this Joy.
Don't you, Joy?

Okay, I have to admit,
it looks really good.

Now I have to choose
the paint color.

Do I want it to be energetic
like Swiss coffee

or welcoming like summer wicker,

because don't you think a closet
is sort of a wishing place?

I wish I were deaf.

I want to put the mirror

on the back of this closet door
right here.

Yeah, I think it will fit.
Okay.

Oh, you know what?
It sticks sometimes.

Okay, Frankie saves Melanie,
part two.

You broke it. How are we
supposed to get out now?

This thing won't budge.

Oh, no.

Oh, no, this is not good.

I'm a big man in a small closet.

What is wrong with you?

I'm claustrophobic, okay?

Is this room getting smaller?
Are the walls closing in?

I'm going to have to do
my calming song.

♪ Didly-didly-didly-dee,
didly-didly-didly-dee ♪

- Does it work?
- It does.

In fact, I'm feeling...

fine.

Okay.

Oh!

Oh, no. Oh, no.
Okay, oh.

♪ Didly-didly-didly-dee ♪

You know, Elka, I feel like
I can be myself around you.

In fact...

Holy crap.

I mean nice glasses.

Oh, thanks.

Wow, look who has dimples.

So you didn't see them before?

No, I'm blind
without my glasses.

But now that we're dating,
I can wear them all the time.

What happened to the dimples?

How did it go
with the website people?

Well, I told them I didn't
want to do it without you.

You're my best friend,
and I think they'd be

totally misguided
to go with Olivia.

- Thank you, Victoria.
- You're welcome.

They're going with Olivia.

- What?
- It's nothing personal.

They just find her more likable.

I don't even know
what that means.

Well, it means that they
find her more likable than you.

I know that, you idiot.

New Joy doesn't say things
like that.

They're still going to
call her Joy?

Oh, the name just tested
through the roof,

so there's a win for you.

Ay-yup, girlies.

Victoria, we better get going
if we're going to be there

for the start of the Cavs game.

Oh, yeah, we're shooting an
episode there for the website.

But Joy and Victoria going
to the Cavs game was my idea.

Oh, and we're still doing it.

Joy and Victoria are going
to the Cavs game.

Another win for you.

Somebody get rid of these.

Oh, God, these are
some well-ugly specs.

We haven't met.
I'm new Joy.

Oh, I approve.

You doing better?

A little.

Eventually, they're going to
come home and find us.

Sure, sure.

Boy, this is real for you,
isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, since I was a kid.

See, when I was small,
to save money, my family hid me

in the trunk when we would go
to drive-in movies.

And one time,
they forgot about me,

and I was in there
for a couple hours.

I still remember the movie, too.

It was Cheech and Chong
"Up in Smoke."

That's terrible.

It was no better heard
through a trunk.

Ever since then, I've been
afraid of small spaces.

And Cheech and Chong.

Really?
Cheech and Chong?

Like, "Dave's not here, man."

Stop it, stop it!

Okay. I'm sorry. Geez.

You know what?
I have crazy fears, too.

I am scared to death
of butterflies.

Butterflies?

Butterflies can't hurt you.

- Neither can Cheech and Chong.
- Well...

Truce?

I appreciate you sharing
what you're afraid of and, uh,

helping me to calm down.

You're welcome.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

What are we doing?

I don't know.

- But I'm about to...
- Go for it.

Door's open.

Uh, sorry about the sneeze.

So, um, what just happened?

Nothing.
Nothing happened.

Good.
That's what I thought.

Just checking.

- So I'll, uh, see you at work?
- Yeah, see you at work.

Yeah, you want me
to fix this door?

No, no.
I like it there.

I guess
Victoria's still sleeping.

She must have gotten home late
from the Cavs game

with her new friend.

I saw Victoria and new Joy
on the Jumbotron.

Can we not call her new Joy?

Okay, old Joy.

Good morning, Victoria.

Or would you prefer...

"Cor blimey, Victoria,

good bleeding morning"?

Listen, Joy, I know
that last night was bad.

Bad?
It was typical.

So typical of you, Victoria,

to sacrifice your friends
to climb the ladder of success.

But this time, you invited me
on that ladder with you.

And just as I was beginning
to enjoy the view,

you kicked me off.

Next time, why don't you
just take me to the desert,

have me dig my own grave hole,
and shove me in?

I could go for a trip
to the desert.

Look, Joy, I know I deserve
everything that you just said.

And that's why last night
I told the website people that

your friendship means more
than this project, and...

And I quit.

- You quit?
- Yeah.

But that website's important
to you.

Not as important as you.

I realized something
at that basketball game.

I don't want to spend time
with a person

who is young and bubbly
and likable.

I want to spend time with you.

Really?
Oh, Victoria, I'm so touched.

You know what?

I'm gonna get some champagne

so we can celebrate
our friendship.

That was a nice thing you did.

Well, it's just
the kind of person I am.

They fired you, didn't they?

Can you believe it?

Apparently new Joy tested better
than I did,

so now they're building
the whole website around her

instead of me.

But I feel bad.

Do you think I should tell Joy
the truth?

No.
It would hurt her feelings.

Let me do it.

Elka?

Over here.

It's the strangest thing.

Now I can't find
my spare pair of glasses.

No.

I've looked all over your place.

Well, the last time I saw them,
they were under the covers.

Let's go look there.

Hello, Frankie.
Good to see you.

Hello, Melanie.
Good to see you, as well.

So, um, that thing that didn't
happen in the closet yesterday,

that's not going to affect us
here, right?

Well, first of all,
nothing didn't happen

in the closet yesterday,

and, uh, second,
the show comes first, so...

I'm glad we're clear.

Me as well.

Up next, "He Said, She Said"

with Frankie and Melanie.

Turn up your radio,
and let the battle begin.

Hello, everybody.

Our first caller is Tom
from Cuyahoga Falls.

Yeah, hi.
I've been married for 10 years,

and now we're only having sex
like once a month.

What do I do?

Well, um, maybe you
should deal with the problems

in your relationship that are
leading to her lack of interest.

Yeah, I don't really care why.

I just want more.
Right, Frankie?

I actually think Melanie
had a pretty great point.

- Well, thank you, Frankie.
- You're welcome, Melanie.

- Should we take another call?
- I think we should.

Okay.

Hey, guys, uh, so what
happened with those shelves?

- Nothing happened.
- Absolutely nothing.

But she screwed it up, right?

Well, actually,
we ended up working together,

and it was
a pretty successful endeavor.

Now Melanie has a shelf
that she can put things on.

Uh-huh. Did she put
your balls on that shelf?

Hey.

Watch your mouth.
There's a lady here, all right?

- Thank you, Frankie.
- You're very welcome, Melanie.

Okay, you know what? We'll be
right back after this break.

What the hell was that?
We're terrible.

I know! We're gonna
get kicked off the air

if we spend the next three hours
agreeing with each other.

Look, this whole thing started
because you tried to kiss me.

I tried to kiss you?
No, no, no.

You tried to kiss me.
You leaned in.

You leaned in.

The point is, there was leaning.

I can't do this show
if you have feelings for me.

Oh, please.
Feelings for you.

The only feeling I have for you
is utter disgust.

Right back at ya, baby.

- Oh, this is good.
- I know! This is us.

And we're back.

To that caller earlier who was
only getting it once a month,

I actually agree with Melanie.

Have a dialogue with your wife.
Here's the dialogue.

"Put out or get out."

Please, Frankie's just jealous
of any man

that doesn't have to pay for it.

Yeah. Melanie
can't give it away for free.

So that's why a thermos
keeps things both hot and cold.

Goodness, I've been talking
about thermoses for 40 minutes.

Has it only been 40?

Look, Jim, about us,
I mean, it's been fun...

Ah, hold the thought.

It's kind of bright out here.

Oh.

Oh, you look good
in those glasses.

Damn good.

Actually, they're prescription.

So you don't need
your other glasses?

No.
These are easier on my eyes.

They're easier on my eyes, too.

So, um, what were you
going to tell me?

I can't remember.

Elka, I wanted to mention,

I'm going to have
some dental surgery later on,

and I won't be able to talk
for a few days.

We'll make it work.

♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba ♪

♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba ♪

♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Hey! ♪