All language subtitles for toto-vittorio-e-la-dottoressa 1957.eng

With Professor Vagoni's
report, we close the session.

The work of the congress
will resume tomorrow.

Your attention, please

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

- Can I shake your hand?
- Othello, thank you.

Brigitte, this is the lawyer Bellomo,
your father was my colleague.

He is called Othello,
but he is a good guy.

Dr. Beker, from Boston,
will be my future assistant.

- Congratulations, will you come to live in Naples?
- It depends on the professor.

- Dr. Kraus wishes to meet you.
- Excuse me. - You are welcome.

- Do you know Naples?
- No.

- Will I be able to guide you in Naples?
- Gladly.

- But won't it be dangerous to ride with an Othello?
- I'll leave Jago at home.

- Do you know Madrid?
- Little. - Me too!

We could visit it
together in the free hours.

Yes, it will be the test for Naples.
So we'll see if we get along well.

From today this will be your home.

- You like?
- She's gorgeous.

The two of us alone.

In your old house.

- Who is she?
- Othello?

Dear aunts! I didn't
expect to find you in town.

- We came to see you.
- Good!

- I'm back in good company.
- Yeah!

Meet Brigitte... my wife.

Your wife?

Brigitte, they are my aunts I
have told you so much about.

Aunt Ada and Aunt Ida.

- Good evening, lady.
- Miss, please.

- When did you get married?
- 20 days ago. - In Madrid.

- And you didn't tell us?
- I preferred to tell you in person.

- Brigitte and I got married and we love each other.
- We are happy.

- You are not Italian!
- No, she's from Boston.

Are you German? Hitlerian?

No, American.

Otello and I met at the
medical congress where I...

- The important thing is that we love each other!
- Sure!

- We'll talk in the morning. Ida.
- Ada. - Here we go.

- Good night.
- Good night.

- Good night,
- Good night.

- Come on, dear?
- I made a bad impression on your aunts.

Don't worry, that's the way they are.

They are a bit strange, but tomorrow
it will be something else entirely.

They are the sisters of
my poor mother, they are

very rich and I am their
only heir. Indeed, we.

Why didn't you let
me say I'm a doctor?

My love, it's best not
to tell him right away.

They have already had too many emotions,
I got married and with a foreigner!

If they knew you are a man's
profession, they wouldn't understand.

They don't like emancipated women.

You can't stop me from
practicing my profession!

I must be Professor
Vagoni's assistant!

Sure, but there's no
need to tell him right away.

Soon they return to the countryside,
they come to Naples once a year.

- They won't notice anything.
- Sure? - Sure!

They seem gruff, terrible, but they
are two naive and confident old ladies.

"Don't be naive and trusting!
The world is full of deceptions.

Stalking, investigations,
before and post marriage.

Agency Nothing Escapes.
Top secret."

- Ida. - Ada.
- This is the agency we need!

- It is necessary?
- Very necessary!

After what we have
seen in these 2 months...!

We need to know the whole
truth about this... BRIGITTA!

Poor Othello!
But will it be a serious agency?

This is a serious
agency, remember that!

I do not allow you, Gennaro
and that unconscious

Michele to have fun
touching my cards!

My friend Michele
could be of great help!

He has studied the best systems
of the American DETECTIVE!

No American systems!

Remember that you were
two shoeshines and I was

wrong in elevating you
to the rank of stalkers!

You have to work
only with your feet!

- My friend has a great brain!
- No brain!

Now I'm leaving
for a few days, you

stay here exclusively
to do the cleaning.

Don't you dare
to take initiatives!

I'm in charge here!

I am the mastermind of
this organization, you...

The arm!

No arm! I am the mind...
and you are the feet.

COUGHING. Permission?

Who is there! Hands up!

Sorry, but with all these SUN spots
and the TORPEDOES you never know.

Please take a seat.

- Sit down. - Thank you.
- You are welcome.

Johnny. Johnny

Animal, wake up!

Fear not, he is my helper. I keep
him loose, but he doesn't do anything.

- You're welcome, CELERY.
- Yes, cipollino!

They say "sit down".
Excuse me, he was distracted.

- What can I help you with?
- In an investigation.

All right, then let's
proceed in order.

Let's start with the oath.
Johnny, make you swear.

Swear to tell the truth, the
whole truth, nothing but the truth.

You say: I swear.

- I swear it.
- Chief, they swore. - Good.

CELERY... sit down. Sorry.

Therefore. Madam, will
you favor his name for me?

- Ada Barbalunga, widow Barbieri.
- Of course. - Why?

When the barber is dead,
his beard grows longer.

- You're joking!
- You said "Barbalunga", didn't you?

- What length?
- 1 and 75, okay?

- Barbalunga is the surname!
- Ah, the surname.

Therefore.

Is the priest his brother?

What does he say? And my sister!

Strange! I have never
seen a priest sister.

- My sister is a young lady!
- Sometimes...

It is said: "The habit does not make the monk".

She remembers: "The dress
does not make the monk."

- Engineer!
- Call me doctor.

My aide is deputy doctor.

- Mister John! - "Please"?
- You are Americans?

- Native.
- Ah, native!

Yes, he was born in
Caserta, I in Secondigliano.

- Mister John.
- Please?

"You like?
No smoking, BISINISS, TELEFUNKEN".

- OK! Boh!
- Yes.

We come to the fact.

- Ida? - Ada? - You speak.
- You speak. - Why?

- Because you speak better.
- Speak yourself, the reverend will speak later.

- So... RINGS OF THE PHONE

Sorry.

Hello?

Yup? Agency Nothing Escapes.

And if we miss
anything, it is not our fault.

I'm the manager, Mike Spillone.

Good morning, excellency.

Say. Yup.

Yes, yes.

Yes, yes.

Yes... How?

Did you find a body in the bathroom?
What do you want to do with it?

Go wash in the kitchen.
All right. Yes sir. Goodbye.

This nonsense could be
solved by the police! Keep going.

It's a delicate thing, my
sister and I have a weight here.

Doctor, we want to relieve ourselves.

- At your age?
- What's strange?

You had to turn to Motherhood
and Childhood! We are not equipped!

We want to get rid of a
suspicion about our nephew's wife.

- Ah! Then we are equipped!
- Fully equipped!

I had misunderstood.

- Well, you have a grandson!
- Exactly.

- This nephew would be your uncle.
- No, we are the aunts!

Already. Who is this grandson?

It is the lawyer Otello
Bellomo, son of our poor sister.

- Is he a grandson to Monsignor too?
- Doctor!

Excuse me, excuse me... have patience.

In summary, tell
me who the killer is!

- There is no killer.
- Then it's a trial!

Yep!

Yeah... What are you making me say?
It's an investigation!

- Here's the picture.
- About the killer? - No, the wife's.

- That's the killer!
- This is a joint investigation!

Excuse me, we are used
to murders, murderers...

These are trifles for us,
we have some big things!

So...

- Ah!
- Beautiful, magnificent!

Here we would not only have
to investigate, if we deepened...

- From this image...
- Come on, gentlemen...

From this picture,
madam, I infer

that your nephew had good taste.

- Modesty aside, I take it. Do you deduce it?
- Yup.

We both deduced it,
so a first step is done!

I mean, huh?

- What country is it from?
- Foreigner. - American.

- Native?
- I do not believe.

Too bad, the task would
have been made easier.

- Why?
- Among us natives... I can't explain everything!

- We don't know anything about her.
- Is this stranger weird?

- Sometimes foreigners do oddities!
She-she She always goes out alone.

- And he gets strange phone calls.
- Of course, she is a foreigner!

- Sometimes she also speaks English!
- On the telephone? - Yup.

- How many phone calls do you make?
- Seven eight.

- Are you calling?
- 8. - Walks? - 21.

- How much is the phone?
- 24-58.

- Then: 8-21-24-58.
- Are we at Lottery?

It's our coded phrasebook!
The figures correspond to the words.

If we lose the dossier,
nobody understands anything!

Because we too...

We have taken another step.

- We, step by step...
- Let's find the lady.

- I'll find the lady!
- I'm your helper!

Then you will help me discover it.
Lady, I understand.

Yes is the third man!

Even the canon agrees with me.
Where does the woman live?

- It's written behind the photo.
- Really?

Yes, there is the address.

- So can we go?
- Go easy.

- Today we will start the investigation.
- Not today, we have many commitments!

- Yes, we need to interrogate a corpse!
- Huh?

We need to question the killer
of that body, I can't say more.

Go quiet, we miss nothing and if

we miss something,
we have the dog.

- Do they also use a dog?
- Anifax, the famous police wolf.

Didn't they know?

- There he is!
- It's not a wolf, it's a dachshund!

Madam, let's not say heresies!

He's a police wolf
disguised as a dachshund!

Doctor, how much will it cost us?

Because it's them, out of respect
for the cappuccino... 5 million.

- It is not possible!
- Too many, huh? I know, there are too many.

I made a request,
make a counter offer.

We would like to spend
10, 15 thousand lire.

That's all? We make 10 thousand
lire and we don't talk about it anymore!

- From 5 million to 10 thousand lire?
- He is the administrator.

- Not even enough to feed the dog!
- What a fool, the dog!

Dog meals cost! 3.5 million
and we don't talk about it anymore!

- It is not possible!
- Let's not talk about money!

- A million more or less...!
- Who has ever seen it?

We do not work for
interest, but for passion!

See you when the investigation
is over! See you later.

- Treats. - Father!
- See you once the investigation is done!

- Anifax, say hello to the ladies.
- Good morning.

Gennaro.

Gennaro.

- Gennaro, I'm talking to you!
- We agree that you call me Johnny!

- Yes, when there are people, but now we are alone.
- What do you want?

I had the good
idea of "disguising"

this car so as not
to attract attention.

Everyone believes it is one
of the first atomic machines.

At the garage one asked
me if it was going to uranium.

- How are you doing? - Gasoline.
- It's closer. - No, on petrol!

Michele. Michele!

- Michele, I'm talking to you!
- You have to call me Mike.

Yes, in front of the people, now
there is no one! Where should I turn?

I believe right.
Wait, I'm making people move.

- Put out the arrow!
- Immediately. Turn!

Hello? Yes I am.

Doctor, I'll pass
Professor Vagoni to you.

The doctor for her.

- Madam, you should do me a courtesy.
- Say, professor.

Before coming to
the clinic, you pass via

Pola to the villa of
the Marquis De Vitti.

They requested a doctor
urgently. Does it bother you?

No, it's a pleasure.

Time to get dressed,
I'm always available.

For heaven's sake, at any time!
Ok!

Okay thanks.

When you brake with the brakes, let me know!

That's the house, you have to get out of there.

- Do you remember her well?
- Yup!

Pig look at her.

I got it?

The great British
philosopher Bertrand

Russell, in his enlightened
study of jealousy,

argues that it is a purely
physiological phenomenon.

Can the crime of jealousy find
extenuating factors of a spiritual nature?

No, gentlemen of the court!
Absolutely not!

- Hi dear.
- Hi, Othello.

A greeting quickly.

- Are you working?
- Yup.

I prepare a plea in
which I say that the crime

of jealousy must be
punished without mercy.

- You don't look very convinced.
- Instead I am convinced.

Even if with a wife like you
and with a name like mine...

If you were jealous, I would
think you don't love me.

Instead I love you... even if
you go out with that weird hat.

Strange? It makes me
look serious and professional!

You look like a little girl
who enjoys being a doctor.

- You joke, but I have a lot of work!
- Me too. Let's do something.

- Are we getting our revenge tonight?
- What are we doing?

- Let's go dancing?
- Yup.

Let's go to the "Conchiglia".

The two of us alone.

- They kiss.
- Judas' kiss!

Hello sweetheart.

What eyes! What a mouth!

- What a chest!
- What a legs!

- There are no legs here.
- But there, yes. - Where is it?

It's true!

Start the engine.

Don't get caught.
Start the engine. Don't get caught.

- How can I do?
- Do it under METAPHOR!

Under METAPHOR
there is no start!

- It's upstairs.
- Start the engine, without being noticed.

- Yes or no?
- Yes, OK!

Be indifferent.
Behavior! Whistle.

- Nothing serious can happen.
- You say that!

Sputnik is always subject
to terrestrial attraction.

- It can fall and cause disaster.
- If it falls, it disintegrates.

- I'm sorry, but I disagree.
- neither!

- You see it?
- Of course!

This Sputnik, falling
can cause disasters.

If she stands with her
nose in the air and a Sputnik

hits her eye, she will
wonder who "spat" in her eye.

- Not me!
- Me neither!

Excuse me, who do we
have the honor to talk to?

We are two gentlemen
passing through!

Hey! But who are these!

- The gentlemen wish?
- Who is it? Good morning. - Do they want?

- Two packs of cigarettes.
- This is not a tobacconist.

- No? What's this?
- A pharmacy.

- You see it?
- What can I help you?

Then let's buy something.
Soaps.

- How much it is?
- At will. - 12? - Yup.

- Here. Brushes?
- Also.

- How many?
- Several. - 12? - Yup.

- Toothpaste? - Yes.
- How many? - How many you want.

- A box?
- 12 boxes.

- Other? - Do you have any sublimate?
- Yes, how much?

- Liquid? - Yes. - Half a liter.
- Half a liter of sublimate!

- You want some? - I'm a teetotaler.
- What's that got to do with it?

- Antinevralgics? - How many?
- Sevveral... several!

Here they are.
What else? Cotton?

- Yes, HYDROPHOBIC cotton!
- Hydrophilic!

Exactly, "purified"!

- You want some sponges?
- Yes, 3.

One for me, one for
him and one for Anifax.

- What else?
- You gave me the cotton...

- Gauze!
- How much gauze?

- How do you sell it?
- By the meter. - A patch!

- Very well.
- A piece of gauze!

- And a 20 stamp.
- We don't sell stamps!

No? So, I'm sorry,
I'm not buying anything!

We will pip!

Easy, damn it! I told you to
be quiet, you can't do anything.

- Marquis, I can't take off my boots, you have to sit down.
- I can not.

- Why?
- I'm not telling you.

- I was once his confidant.
- It's too delicate a matter.

Women?

I can't hide anything from you.
Give me the slipper.

Women have always
been my downfall.

Several times I risked getting a
ball in the chest because of them!

- This time instead...
- shot. Who did it?

I do not know! Do you know
Assunta, the farmer's wife?

- A beautiful woman!
- Have you tried?

I would not allow myself
before her, maybe after.

I had met her at the fountain,
while I was talking to her,

her husband passed by and
gave me a very annoying look.

- He was the one who...
- I don't know.

- Do you know Concettina?
- Concettina the redhead?

Gaetanone's wife, the
new factor. Ouch! Ouch!

I met her in the olive
grove, give me the slipper.

While we were
talking, a shot went

off from a haystack
that hit me in full!

- Where is it?
- I told you I can't sit!

Damn serfs!

Marquis, which of the
two factors shot you?

By reversing the order of the
factors, the product does not change!

They shot me with number 11
pellets, they took me for a lark.

If they had taken her for a boar they
would have shot her with buckshot!

- Let's hope Mom doesn't find out.
- I'll be a grave.

- Vittorio! - Mum?
- Send Romeo away.

- Romeo, would you like to get away?
- Out, out!

Libertine! Sinner!

- Lustful!
- Mum!

- Possessed, you have undermined Gaetanone's wife!
- And he!

- I preferred you dead than involved in a scandal!
- Better involved.

You are the same as your father! I
don't understand what you find in women!

- Eh, mom!
- to disturb the wives of your employees!

Of the peasant women, of the
poor unsuspecting creatures!

Mom, it's your fault!

You did not allow me to be
engaged, to marry, you did

not want me to have
adventures with dancers or typists.

You deny me the city! I have a
game reserve and I take advantage of it.

I thought politics were
enough to distract you.

I just enjoy hunting.

Instead of chasing women,
you should be chasing votes!

You are a candidate in the elections!
Have you thought about a political program?

That takes time, now the
peasants don't "drink" everything.

That's not true, the peasants
drink like they used to!

They drink with the trade unionists,
they get excited and they shoot shots!

They will kill us all if
we don't find a remedy!

I'm going to call the lawyer
and you will sue Gaetanone.

- So he shoots me with the shotgun.
- Better dead than chatted!

- Better chatted!
- Dead!

- Chatted.
- I said dead!

All right!

- Romeo, did you...
- Does it hurt a lot?

- Did you call the doctor?
- Yes, a certain Doctor Bellomo will come.

Good or bad I don't care.

- Ouch! - What's up?
- It hurts.

- It is appropriate to say that nothing escapes us!
- Modestly.

- Modestly I say it!
- Okay.

- Where you go?
- He's going to have a love meeting.

- He will be with an important man!
- Sure, look at that villa!

- Are you ready?
- Very ready.

- I'm going to fish.
- Chief, what about me?

A vice-fish!

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

- Do you wish, madam?
- The Marquis De Vitti. - He's indisposed.

I'm here for this.

- Who should I announce?
- The doctor. - The doctor?

- The doctor?
- Sure, the doctor!

- Go announce me.
- All right.

The doctor!

- Who is he? What do you want?
- A person asks for you.

- Who is it? -She says she is the doctor.
- Get him in!

- Give me a dressing gown.
- The shot one? - No! No dots!

- About perfume?
- Perfume? No.

- Why the perfume?
- Eh!?

Don't be a fool. Get him in.

Doctor.

- Is this where a doctor is needed?
- Yes, I'm waiting for it.

- Who is she? What do you want?
- I'm the doctor.

- Are you the doctor?
- Yes, Dr. Bellomo.

- Why are you looking at me?
- It's not often a pretty doctor like you.

- Where is the sick man?
- I'm lucky.

- What do you mean?
- It is fortunate to be visited by you.

I am the Marquis De Vitti.

Here they are!

Ready with the flosh?
One two Three!

Ok! Wonderful!

I will entrust my health to
these beautiful little hands.

Have you ever been
seen by a woman?

Yes, at 4, when I had rubella.

But he wasn't as handsome as she was.

- I get it, I'm going away.
- No, please, I'm really sick.

- What's wrong?
- Since she came in, I don't know anymore.

- Maybe the heart.
- Maybe?

Yes, this poor old heart that has
beaten too much for too many women.

- Sit down.
- I can not.

- So it's about the sciatic nerve?
- Yes, too.

Let's see.

- Are you really a doctor?
- Yup.

- And your name is Bellomo?
- Yes, Bellomo.

Like Bellomo she is a
very beautiful woman.

Don't be silly, I'm here to
visit you and you need it.

- I don't like her face.
- I like her very much instead.

- You take off your dressing gown.
- Why? - I have to visit her.

- I'm a doctor, you must consider me a man.
- It's not easy.

Turn around.

Excuse your shoulders.

Breathe.

I said breathe, not sigh.

Yet.

- Say 33.
- 33, 40, 59.

- What does it mean?
- It's my phone number.

If one of these evenings is alone
and without sick, you can call me.

Marquis, try to be serious!
We feel the heart.

Hello? Can I hope to have you for
dinner with me one of these nights?

This is too much!

Can't a professional woman
be taken seriously in Italy?

In America 70% of women
work and everyone respects them!

- See you later! - Wait!
- Call a male doctor and invite him to dinner.

- But he will have to wait a long time.
- Why?

In addition to the fever, she has strange
symptoms. Are you a typographer?

Typographer?

Her eyes remind
me of lead poisoning.

- Yes, lead.
- Goodbye.

Doctor, professor! I swear
I'll treat you like a man.

Do you want a cigar?
There is a full box!

She doesn't deserve it,
but I'll give her an injection.

- No! Not an injection!
- He's not very brave, is he?

I am modest.

- Okay, I'll give you an antidote by mouth. Where is the toilet?
- Over there.

- Hot water comes out of the cold water tap.
- All right.

What bad luck, I get this
doctor and I have this trouble!

However!

- Then they say that one...!
- One... what?

One... like that!

- Do not look.
- You're watching.

- I'm the cop.
- And I'm your helper.

So look, but don't let
yourself be noticed.

Close!

- What is this?
- A hat, Madame Marquise.

I see. Whose is he?

- I think it's mine, Madame Marchesa.
- Yours!

Yes, every now and then I
allow myself some little madness.

You are a liar and a depraved!

- There's a woman over there!
- No. - Let me pass, servant!

Listen! Whose hat is this?

- It'll be the doctor's.
- A doctor dressed as a woman?

- It's a woman.
- I said so! Here there is a woman!

Satan, you receive them even when
I'm here! So do you respect your mother?

She is a woman who is a doctor.
She is a serious, very serious woman.

You undress and go to
bed, I'll come right away.

- A serious woman who says these
things? She-she Said to go to bed.

- Undressed?
- You must visit Me.

You have to play
doctor and sick!

- She's a doctor. I called her on the phone.
- A call girl!

- It's not true!
- So she's a bad guy.

I swear she is a doctor!
I'll let her tell you.

Doctor striptease!

- Why did she take off her clothes?
- doctors visit like this!

He is a doctor, there is
the bag, come and see.

- Look.
- You Who knows what's the use! Articles of Paris! Depraved!

- What is this?
- A syringe.

- It's this one? Morphine!
- You will have brought it for me.

You have hit the very
bottom of the abyss!

- Take drugs too!
- What are you saying, mom!

Don't call me "mom".
I'm not your mother anymore!

You are no longer the Marquis De Vitti,
you are "The Man with the Golden Arm"!

Mum!

- What did that lady want?
- Nothing, she's a crazy old woman.

Why did she get dressed?

- She looked like an Amazon ready for the battle of love!
- That's enough!

- Why do you treat me like this?
- Looking for another doctor!

I want her.

We are alone, why don't we
drink from the cup of pleasure?

- That's enough!
- Ouch!

Mamma Mia!

Her mother told me she
wanted to file a complaint.

For a political attack?
I would never do it for votes.

Her mother told me
that it is the husband of a

peasant who would have
hit him out of jealousy.

I was not physically hit,
only in the heart, in my sense

of freedom and democracy.
But that doesn't matter.

No peasant woman has anything
to do with this whole business.

- Do I look like a peasant type to you?
- Absolutely, but her mother...

She thinks she knows everything, but she
doesn't know anything about my private life.

If these walls could talk!

Instead they are silent like
me, because I am a gentleman.

- You are welcome.
- I know you're a gentleman.

A little while ago one
of the most beautiful

women you ever met
came out of that door.

Known... in the biblical sense.

She was so happy that
she even forgot her hat.

Does it look like a
peasant's hat to you?

They are luxury items, like
her mistress. If he knew her!

Lawyer?

- So, you don't want to file a complaint?
- No, no!

- Arrive, Marquis.
- Goodbye, lawyer.

- I'm discouraged, Professor.
- Why, dear child?

We Italians are full
of fire and enthusiasm.

I don't know the Marquis
De Vitti, but I understand him.

In her he saw first the beautiful
woman and then the doctor.

It will happen to her very often.

The Marquis was suffering,
but he preferred to be a Don Juan

instead of confessing his evil,
just because I am a woman!

Is it possible that Italians
think of only one thing?

Don't generalize, we also
have women doctors, lawyers...

What is it, professor?

Nothing, a dizziness.

- It is gone.
- Are you sick, should I visit you?

- No thanks.
- She doesn't trust me either.

It's not true. I know
my evil perfectly.

- I just need some rest.
- What are you waiting for to go on vacation?

Doctors prescribe rest,
but they cannot afford it.

Professor, I'm replacing you.

- I can't leave the clinic and office visits.
- Miss!

- I'll take care of everything.
- Say, doctor.

I am replacing Professor
Vagoni for a few days.

- He can call me at any time.
- Agree.

Tonight I have dinner at the
"Conchiglia", if you need to call me there.

- All right. I'll also notify the office nurse.
- Thank you.

- Done.
- Then I just have to obey.

But if they call you, you go now,
even if you are at the "Conchiglia"!

Let's hope!

When I am with my husband,
I forget that I am a doctor.

We miss nothing and if we miss
something, there are photographs!

We have photographic
evidence of the lady's guilt!

Now the lady...
we have it in hand!

- Mister Johnny!
- Hello!

- Have you developed the PHOTOGRAPHY?
- Sure, boss! - Yes, ok!

Come on here.

Here it is!

- Who are these?
- He is your wife's lover...

She's the granddaughter of yours...
she's the lover of your nephew's wife.

- This can be anyone!
- There are no heads.

Are there no heads? Show it.

Yeah, where did they go?

- Thing?
- The heads of the guilty!

- In development I have escaped!
- Are you letting your heads slip?!

Do not forget that
nothing escapes us, but

this time our heads
have escaped. Patience.

- We want concrete proof!
- Exactly, absolutely correct!

We'll start the investigation and take
the pictures with our heads in the head.

It's clear? Nothing to expect!

♪I'll borrow a penny of sunshine
because I want to give it to you.

♪You can lay it on your blond
hair, I will caress that golden cloud.

♪This tiny serenade can
be sung with a faint voice.

♪Each lover will
whisper to the lover.

♪She will whisper it.

♪I will borrow a penny from the
sea because I want to give it to you.

♪You can lay it on your beautiful

♪eyes, I will dive
into your blue gaze.

♪This tiny serenade with
a faint voice can be sung.

♪Each lover will
whisper to the lover.

♪She will whisper it.

♪I'll borrow a penny from heaven
because I want to give it to you.

♪You can lay it on your white
veil when I take you to the altar.

♪This tiny serenade with
a faint voice can be sung.

♪Each lover will
whisper to the lover.

♪She will whisper it.

♪This tiny serenade with
a faint voice can be sung.

♪Each lover will
whisper to the lover.

♪She will whisper it.

♪This tiny serenade with
a faint voice can be sung.

♪Each lover will
whisper to the lover.

♪She will whisper it. ♪

- Why are you angry with me?
- it?

- You have something on your mind.
- The hat.

- Hat?
- I mean, I can only have the hat on.

I do not understand you.

Speaking of hat,
where's your funny hat?

- What do you mean?
- Where did you put it?

Maybe in the closet. Of course
I couldn't wear it with this dress!

- Sure.
- Why do you think about that hat?

- I don't wish you lost it.
- How can you lose a hat?

Sometimes you even lose your mind.

- If you lose your mind, you don't need a hat.
- Exactly.

Why are you making these
speeches to me, Othello?

Good evening, gentlemen
and welcome to Conchiglia.

Do the gentlemen want to have dinner?
We have every specialty. Our motto is:

"From salmon to spaghetti,
from caviar to cappelletti."

- No, no cappelletti!
- Good.

- I want to eat Neapolitan style.
- A classy Neapolitan menu?

- Yes, you do.
- You will not regret the decision.

Excuse me.

You let yourself be convinced too
easily. We'll see what she brings you.

If you feel like fighting,
say it right away.

Sorry, I worked too hard today.

- Me too. - Really?
- Yes a lot.

We are together tonight
and I want to have fun.

- Waiter. - You are welcome.
- Tell me, waiter.

- Is this thing fresh... this lobster?
- Very fresh.

- Is this pheasant of the day?
- That's great, sir.

- Yet I feel a "stink". Do you feel it?
- Yup.

- Wow! - Impossible, sir.
- You sniff. - Hear it.

- What are you eating, dear?
- I don't know, let's see the menu.

Waiter! Waiter!

- Commands.
- Are you the waiter or the "MAÎTRE"?

I am the METER, he is the VICEMETER.
In two we make a meter and a half.

Give me the menu.

- The menu.
- And this?

And this? Yup.

- Dear, I would like something light.
- Something light.

- Something very light would be fine?
- Yup.

Leghorn corks?
A few sheets of tissue paper?

- Talcum powder Bolognese?
- Don't be funny! - I got it?

- Darling, would you like a Mont-blanc?
- Yes, a Mont-blanc.

A Mont-blanc.

- A Mont-blanc.
- A monblan?

- A monblan.
- Monblan.

- Did he say monblant?
- Mont-blanc!

- Bobobl for two?
- A boblob. - Boh!

What a service!

Got a good idea, right?

- Which?
- Dress up as waiters. We are incognito!

- Am I incognito too?
- No.

- I am incognito, you are vice incognito.
- Is that okay? - Yup.

- Don't show up. Here she is!
- That is not the Marquis!

- It's true! -Who will he be?
- He'll be the fourth man.

- The lady ate four eggs.
- What did she do?

Really? Did you eat four eggs?

- Who told you that?
- You. You said four eggs.

I said the "fourth man"!
You're fired, I'll give you 8 days.

- You already gave them to me.
- Then I'll give you 7!

Let's do one thing, now
you go and call your aunts.

Make them come.
Don't show up. Go sneak up.

- I'm going to the kitchen?
- What to do? - Under the plate.

What are you doing under the plates?
Shut up! I meant cautiously.

I'm going to the kitchen
to order MOMBLAN.

Excuse me sir!

- It can happen. - Sorry.
- It must happen.

Small things.

- Waiter.
- Commands.

- The siphon is not working.
- You will not be familiar with siphons.

Psss, psss, psss...

psss, psss, psss...

- Seen?
- Great, who taught him that?

My mom as a child.

Waiter, is this
Mont-blanc coming?

He must apologize,
bring a few minutes late.

- Sorry! Sorry.
- It doesn't matter, these are things that can happen.

Patience.

- What did you say?
- Did you make the call? - Yup.

- Boil yourself!
- Hot meals!

- Waiter?
- Commands, ma'am.

I don't understand, do you want to repeat?

- "Ya"! - Did you understand? - No.
- Then why are you answering?

Madam, you speak Italian,
we do not understand Spanish.

- I'd like to see the boiled meat.
- Here, in front of everyone?

- Sure, what's strange?
- No, I asked.

"Degustibus not
adibindibus sputazzellam."

Discover the boiled meats.

We have beef, veal, roast beef.

- Do you have a calf's head?
- No we have not.

We have the beef head. Discover it.
It is beautifully seasoned...

What have you done?

- Ignorant, rude, rude!
- What figures you make me do, go away!

Mister beef...
lady head, have patience!

- Waiter, the Mont-blanc! It is indecent.
- I say so too.

You don't have to come here anymore!

What's going on tonight?

Things that can happen.

Small things.

The starter was delicious.

"Delicious appetizer
for a loyal customer."

An appetizer is a sign of
elegance like a lady's hat.

- What's the hat got to do with it?
- Nothing, but don't take your hat now.

Sorry.

- Why did you treat him badly?
- I hate it.

I find it delicious.
Everything is delicious here, even you.

- Even if you don't love me tonight.
- I don't love you? - No.

But it doesn't matter, Naples enchants
me with its delightful atmosphere.

I have an idea. Excuse me for a moment.

- Doctor Bellomo? An urgent call on the phone.
- I come.

- You are welcome.
- Yup.

- Where am I?
- Yet they phoned us.

We don't know each other. We are acting!
- Like waiters?

- It's a disguise. - Makeup.
- Profession, trade.

Do they want a
table, sir? This way.

Follow me, there
is a good table.

Good evening, Ms. Bellomo, I
noticed him while you were dancing.

- Classy little woman!
- It is my wife.

- Exactly, a woman of class.
- Thank you.

I would like him to sing a
Neapolitan novelty for her.

- This season?
- Very well.

Let's remember the
premise: nothing escapes us!

- But we don't see anyone!
- Like?

Wow! Indeed...
this time they escaped us.

- Show us a headless picture first.
- Exactly.

- Then an empty table. - Empty.
- We want concrete proof.

It takes patience, the investigations
are not fiaschi... that they "binge"!

It takes some calm,
some insight, is it clear?

We once showed you a
headless photo... "transiat"!

The second time an
empty table, also "transiat".

The third time they will be there
in person, here or elsewhere.

Okay, we'll wait.

- Ida. - Ada.
- Here we go.

Are they trained?

Who's talking?

I do not understand.

Speak more softly.
No, more slowly.

Who's talking?

Speak the father!
My son's father!

I don't know how my
son is, he's not born yet.

I want you... one moment.

I want someone to give
birth to it. I ask only this.

But it is urgent!

I get it, calm down!

I am very calm! I can speak with
such phlegm because I dominate myself!

Miss, don't raise your voice!
Let me speak!

Send me a good doctor, I am at
the first birth, I am First born!

- Give me the address.
- My wife's address?

She lives with me. Where do I live?
I live where my wife lives!

We have been married for 3 years.
Where is it? In via Spaccanapoli.

I understand, via Spaccanapoli.
All right.

Du-du-a. Du-du-a.

Carmela is a doll and
she makes love to me.

But mom is terrible, she
doesn't want me to see it.

So I had a good idea.

Carmela is a
sleepwalker to visit me.

And so she deceives mom.

With the excuse that
this doll is a sleepwalker?

Every evening at 11 he
comes to the attic for a walk.

I'm in the attic too and I
tell her: "I'm here for you!"

♪ And the sleepwalker who is a
doll, sleepwalks in my arms... ♪

Hey, you!

Who are you?

- We are the so.
- there so?

- The so what they are.
- Ah, the extras! - Yes sir.

- The steering wheels.
- We're on the flying squad. - Fly to the kitchen.

- He can not. - Why?
- He has flat feet.

- Fly!
- Sorry.

♪ And the sleepwalker who is
a doll sleepwalks in my arms! ♪

Here they are!

Stop them!

- Stop them! - Aren't you ashamed?
- They beat us!

Silence! Street!

- What is this din?
- Dimitri? - Tell me dear.

- We don't come to this place anymore.
- It became a dive.

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

- Do you wish?
- I'm the doctor, where is the mother?

Mrs. mother is not here.

- The lady expecting a baby.
- Ah, I didn't understand!

Take a seat, I'll call the gentleman.

- Sir.
- Yup?

- The lady wants it.
- The lady is here, what are you saying?

The Lady?

- I'm the doctor.
- You can see very well.

I am calm and obey.
I will do whatever you order.

I will be a perfect nurse.

- The lady says she is about to be born.
- Help!

You stay calm, you are not the
first woman to give birth to a child.

Calm down, I'll take care of everything.
Be calm.

Okay, go ahead, I
rely on her. Very well.

I am very happy with this
doctor, I have a lot of faith in her.

Medicine has made
tremendous progress!

- Would you give me a screwdriver?
- Very well. Here it is.

I am very happy with her.
With a screwdriver you do it first.

Would you have some pliers, please?

Yes, this is also useful.
Is an excellent idea. Here you go.

It's convenient because...
it's such a good idea.

I need a big hammer.

Sure.

- Here it is, it is also a good hammer.
- Thank you.

But don't hit hard!

Boh!

Police?

I would like information on a
lady whom you claim to be a doctor.

She intervenes in a birth with a
screwdriver, hammer and pincers.

Seems a bit eccentric
to you too, right?

Do you want to know the connotations?

One meter and sixty,
seventy, two and five meters.

Hair? Yes, like her
and like me, on her head.

The eyes? She has two
and they are positioned in front.

In the middle is the nose.

I can't open it, can you try it?

The tools were to open
the box! It was obvious!

Does it make her laugh too?
Really?

I won't let her laugh!
Does she get angry as well?

The heir is born!
Will it be a boy or a girl?

- I drink to the health of the 3 twins!
- Health!

I can go. Mother and children
are fine, congratulations.

- I've always wanted 3 kids.
> Egisto!

- Maybe the fourth arrives!
> Egisto!

Be men, do not rush like this!

Women are all the same,
they forget everything.

Catherine!

You bring this. Wait up!

Take this to the doctor, go ahead.

I was too late, I miss the
training. I no longer have the shot.

What a man I am! Calm.

You're really good, so I like you.
It's nice to see each other.

Egisto!

Egisto!

- There he is.
- Here they are, they are 2 twins.

Two twins? Interesting.

Come, Caterina,
I have to go away.

Let's start over: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Too bad, it is not divisible.

Now I can go, I've
done everything.

The lady needs rest, please.

I will be back soon. Congratulations
on her courage and her calmness.

We don't talk about it.

Thank you.

See you later.

Egisto!

...find extenuating circumstances
of a spiritual nature?

No, gentlemen of the court!
Absolutely not!

- Hi dear.
- Hi, Othello.

A greeting quickly.

- Are you working?
- Prepare a plea

in which I argue that the crime of
jealousy must be punished without mercy.

- You don't look very convinced.
- but yes.

Even if with a wife like you
and with a name like mine...

If you were jealous, I would
think you don't love me.

Instead I adore you..."

Hello?
Hello, doctor, how did you go?

Two males and three females!

It was a wonderful experience.

Very good. And that father
so nervous that he did?

Poor thing.
I've been with him all night.

But he behaved well... 5...
and it was the first time!

He thanked me so much.
It was a joy to see him happy.

- She will be tired.
- Yup,

but I'll take a bath and
be ready to start over.

I have never spent such an
eventful night, I will not forget it.

I like what I do more and more.

I change quickly and come right away.

See you in Professor
Vagoni's office.

"Professor Elia Vagoni, via
Barelli 3". Shall we go to him?

From whoever you want, I spent a
hell of a night. What's your name?

- Elia Vagoni.
- Let's hope it's not another woman.

- I need to be treated, I have at least 40...
- Pellets? - No, of fever!

- Look for a male professor!
- Professor Vagoni is famous.

- It's a man.
- Let's hope he hasn't changed his sex.

Mamma Mia!

Ah!

No, no!

- Mr. Marquis...
- I'll stand up, you leave.

Go ahead, drive.

Please, take a seat.

- Miss, do I have to wait a long time?
- No, next is you.

Sandrino, have the gentleman sit down.

- Sir, does he want to sit down?
- No, cute, don't bother.

- For me it is a pleasure.
- I'll stand up, I want to grow further.

- Sit down, old people don't grow up anymore.
- I prefer to stay standing!

- Please, take a seat.
- I prefer to stand! - Sit inside.

Long last.

Permission?

- Professor Vagoni, please.
- Please, take a seat.

- I really want Professor Vagoni.
- I'll replace him.

She?

- See you later.
- Wait!

- You are not well, why are you escaping me?
- I'm fine.

- So why are you here?
- To greet the professor.

- He knows him?
- We are school friends.

She does not lie, she needs
treatment, it is evident that he is tired.

- Sure, I've been up since yesterday!
- Seen? She shouldn't be working.

Trust me, a doctor
is like a confessor.

A doctor no, the
"confessoresses" do not exist.

I have treated more delicate
cases than you, tell me everything.

Trust me.

- Why does he have those eyes?
- What does the eyes have to do with it?

- Undress.
- She too. - Rude!

Our relations are too strained,
I cannot rely on her care.

Goodbye.

Take me to a clinic, I
can't resist anymore!

- Did they hurt you a lot?
- They didn't do anything to me.

This plethora of right-wing
parties makes us laugh!

This is teeming with microscopic
reactionary camps that are

born like mushrooms and
weeds, but are sick at the roots.

We don't bother to stop them
because they will stop on their own!

- Why are you stopping, animal!
- The car is not working.

- I filled up yesterday.
- I go to see.

The Marquis De Vitti.

Romeo, then?

- The gas is out.
- You sold it, thief!

Steal it from my
mother's car, not mine!

There are few leaders of our
party with the courage of him!

There is talk of a
new far-right party.

But where are the exponents
of this new party? Come out!

Or are they too aristocratic
to take to the streets?

Here is one!
Marquis, tell him something!

Me?

Come back immediately with the
petrol or I say you were from the SS.

- It's not true.
- I say it anyway. Go!

It is convenient not to be seen!

Stay away from the
people, gather in the villas!

The Marquis is in her car standing
in front of her and not afraid of her!

So if he's standing, talk!

I'm standing for my own reasons and
I don't have to explain it to the people.

Marquis, expose your program.

I don't talk about my show in
the square like a street vendor!

- I'll tell Parliament!
- No, say it now!

- Accept the contradictory, Marquis!
- Silence him.

Okay, I'll talk.
And I won't be short.

In some cases it is
necessary to go far, very far.

- Away with the talk.
- Show us your program.

Program! Program!

Okay, my program is
summed up in these words.

- Abolish universal suffrage.
- Bravo, let's go back to feudalism.

Feudalism? Why not?
Feudalism was a happy time!

The subjects had no thoughts,
"they were in a cow's belly"!

The master watched like a good
father from the towers of the castle.

- So let's go back to the "Right of the first night" too!
- Sure!

What do you have to say
about the right of the first night?

Yes sir, it's a noble
institution to be resurrected!

I could still talk for a long time to
convince you, but it won't be necessary.

Hello, Marquis.

Tell us if you intend to give
the land to the peasants!

I'll tell you right away, wait a moment!

- Hello?
- Yup.

Of course, two cubic meters
of earth each to bury them all!

I told you, when you brake
with the brake, let me know!

- Where will it go? - "Villa Valeria."
- What will be? - It will be a pension.

- Who is Valeria?
- She will be the mistress of the pension.

- Why are you going there?
- You will have a "rendez vous".

- Which is?
- What cop are you?

"Rendez-vous" in German means
"appointment". You are ignorant!

I'll fire you and
find another helper!

- Here it is, here it is! Don't let yourself be seen!
- There he is!

- Is that German?
- No, it's the one from the first investigation, the Marquis.

Good lady, alternate!

Quatern!

- Changé l'homme!
- Changé l'homme!

- Oui, madame. Vous cherchez l'homme!
- Madame. Vous cherchez l'homme!

- What language is that?
- Austrian.

What do we want to do?

To us!

Villa Valeria Clinic, concierge.
I pass the communication.

Hello? All right.

- New arrival. Marquis De Vitti, room 125.
- Thank you.

- Where are you going?
- Eh!

Who are you?

Can not see it? I'm the
plumber and he's my boyfriend.

- Where are you going?
- There.

- There where?
- From what... to the lawyer.

- There are no lawyers.
- He was wrong, from the engineer.

Not even engineers. One moment.

This is not a private
house, it is a clinic.

Here there are only sick
people, no lawyers or engineers.

- A sick lawyer. - A wounded engineer?
- They called us.

- Madam, did you call the plumber?
- Yes it's her.

- I "saw" the voice.
- She recognized the voice.

- You don't need a plumber here.
- Forget it.

- So, young men...
- Nothing to expect!

- Is this really a clinic? - Yes.
- When there is health...!

Are we sure they got in here?

- I've seen them.
- Me too.

I understand, it is a refinement.

- The house for appointments in the clinic so as not to attract attention.
- Then?

- So "cost what it costs"...
- How much does it cost? - Anything!

Whatever it costs, we must
discover them at any cost!

In the meantime, let's
go and call the aunts.

You have to stop with
ambiguous sentences.

I know you don't like
Brigitte, but I don't care!

Tell me what you know or
what you think you know.

- When we know, we'll talk.
- When we get the proof.

Proof of what? Brigitte
does this because she's a...

Hello? Who's talking?

It is for you.

- Ida. - Ada.
- That's the information we've been waiting for.

Hello?

For now, thanks.

I can speak.
Your wife is not a decent woman.

- Your wife is cheating on you.
- Stop it, aunt!

With the Marquis De Vitti!

- Thing? - Poor son!
- I know you suffer, poor Othello!

- But you have to know!
- Sure!

Your wife is now with him
at the Villa Valeria Clinic.

- Is that so?
- Yup.

- No, Othello!
- Othello, stop!

I know what I have to do,
thanks for your concern!

- Here. - Is the room okay?
- Very well.

- Stay? - Yes, this is becoming urgent.
- All right.

Excuse me, tell my
driver to go home, bring

some pajamas, dressing
gown, "The Puzzle Week"

- and the magazine "Sogno".
- All right, Marquis.

Here is the doctor.

She! But it is an obsession,
a persecution, a nightmare!

I want a doctor with
a beard and glasses!

- Calm down.
- It's not easy.

Does he want to tell me what he has?

Okay, so wherever I go
I'll always find you, doctor.

They shot me.

- They shot me.
- Where is it?

Where is it?

Does he want to know?

She will know.

Slowly, it's serious!

Wide! Track!

Track!

- Appendicitis.
- Are you the attending physician? - Yes sir.

- Urgent operation?
- Very urgent. Look.

- This is more over there than here!
- Operating room.

- No, I want to keep him under observation.
- Is it urgent or not?

Yes, but bilateral
appendicitis must be observed.

We do not know by opening
the belly what will come out!

- Surgery, room 32!
- Thank you.

- Bilateral?
- Get away!

- Where is my wife?
- Who is her wife?

- Doctor Bellomo.
- In the room of the Marquis De Vitti.

Cursed!

- Is that all there is?
- Does that seem little to you?

- Now I can't look her in the face anymore.
- Don't do that.

- Sorry if I insisted, but I had to. I'll call you a doctor.
- Thank you.

- I will always remember you, but you forget me.
- Courage.

- You knew, Doctor, how ashamed I am!
- Don't do that.

> Ah! Mamma Mia!

And they talk about painless childbirth!

Go. The sick must stay calm,
especially the APPENDICITIS.

If appendicitis gets mad...
I know, I know! Go away!

How's it going, son?

- What do we do now?
- Anything. You are sick, complain.

I go on a patrol tour
of the clinic to see

in which room the Correo
and the KOREA.

- And when do you find Korean pipes?
- What Korean pipes?

- You said that.
- did I say the Korean pipes?

- I said coo...
- In Korea.

- Not Korea! In clinic!
- What does Korea have to do with it?

- Korea is the correa del correo.
The accomplice! Now complain.

Ah!!! I don't understand
what Korea has to do with it!

> Ah!!! Ah!!!

How badly you complain!

Teacher.

- Can I make you hear something?
- You are welcome.

Look me in the eye and stay still!
One two...

You have to stay still!

- Sorry.
- Professor, take a seat.

- I really...
- Sit down, professor.

- What's up?
- Do you want to see that the professor is better than you?

- Let's see.
- Professor, put your hand here.

- Look me in the eye.
- Then? - One two...

Three!

Wretches, have you gone mad?

Unfortunates!

Doctor, come and see number
30, you seem very depressed.

- I...
- Come on, doctor.

So, son, what is it?

This.

What is it, doctor?

This!

- That has?
- Appendicitis, he came with his doctor.

- How does he feel?
- Ah!

Let's see.

- Does it hurt here?
- Ah!!!

- Let's operate it now.
- I want my doctor!

Call your doctor. Stretcher!

I want my doctor!

I want my doctor!

- There he is. He's the attending physician of 32.
- Wait a minute.

- His client got worse.
- I'm sorry.

- What's wrong with him? He was fine.
- He has appendicitis! - It's true!

- Then?
- He needs to be operated on urgently.

We arrived this morning,
expect a few weeks.

- Let's wait for the prognosis.
- But it's a matter of hours!

- What time is it?
- Time to operate.

- The opera you?
- I can't, I have two skull drillings.

- Cheers! Do they operate it?
- No.

Do we count who operates it?

I have an idea, let's have
the young lady operate.

I'm glad to see such
a cheerful colleague.

The operating room is available
to him. Colleague, good work.

Nothing to expect, dear colleague!

What are you doing to me? This
is the straitjacket! Don't squeeze!

One moment. I want my doctor!

- Here comes. - If it doesn't come?
- Another surgeon will come.

- Then I'm not undergoing surgery. Let me down!
- Calm down now.

Here is the professor.

- Where's the patient?
- There he is, professor.

- Who is she?
- It's me, the doctor.

- Are you the patient?
- Yes. - And I the doctor.

Your business!

Now let's do... a nice cut.

- No!
- Don't be stupid.

- I'll open you up and stitch you up right away.
- What do you have to open?

- What did you say, Professor?
- It's the delirium, the fever.

- I don't have a fever!
- You will.

- Professor, the gloves.
- Thanks, I have mine.

- Professor, what do you say?
- Ah, the disinfected gloves!

I again apologize for
this misunderstanding.

It does not matter. It was a pleasure
for me to meet you and the lady.

- I will not forget this unpleasant episode.
- You forget it.

- Arrive, Marquis.
- Get to you, lawyer.

- I'm Dr. Varbel.
- Finally a doctor!

- Othello, listen...
- You're pale, have you forgiven me?

- Sure. I have to tell you a very important news.
- Which?

First give me a kiss.

So this important news?

I am expecting a baby.

Who is it?

What do you want?

Wait, I have yet to start.

Have you prepared it?

Let's see... opening like this...

Yes, a flap here,
a flap there...

- What are you doing, professor?
- I'll take the measurements, I have to open.

- Those knives are for cutting sponges.
- What a fool!

I didn't have to operate today.
What a day!

Do we do a round hole or a
caesarean section as I say?

- Do yourself.
- Trust me.

I modestly know what I do.

There is some air.

Let me get some
fresh air, I can't...

Oh, by God!

- Gennaro! - Michele!
- I saw the Neapolitan correo!

Santa Barbara!

Nothing escapes us and if
something escapes... nothing to claim.

Come on! Come and see!

To the left!

To the right! Here!

Get ready for the twist.
One, two and three!

Here are the photographers... the traitors.

But he is our grandson! It's the husband!

- The husband? -Yes.
- When did he marry him?

- Aunts, you here?
- Who is there?

- What's up? - A misunderstanding.
- At home we will explain everything to you.

- Maybe we missed something?
- Talk!

You are not two policemen,
you are two wretches!

Change jobs!

Done.

- The gentleman is served.
- You ruined my shoes!

- What shoe shine are you?
- Do you want some advice? - Yup.