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1
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(roaring)
2
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(somber piano music)
3
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(pleasant music)
4
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:34,106
(upbeat piano music)
5
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:17,301
- I was sitting with my
friend, Arthur Cornbloom,
6
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,633
in a restaurant.
7
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It was an Horn & Hardart cafeteria
8
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and this beautiful girl walked
in and I turned to Arthur
9
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,932
and I said, "Arthur, you see that girl?"
10
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"I'm going to marry her."
11
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And two weeks later we were married
12
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:40,492
and it's over 50 years later
and we are still married.
13
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♪ It's very clear ♪
14
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:55,666
♪ Our love is here to stay ♪
15
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:56,882
- I love you.
16
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:57,920
- I love you.
17
00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:02,013
♪ Not for all year ♪
18
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:06,976
I But ever and a day ♪
19
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,895
I Oh, the radio ♪
20
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:12,686
I And the telephones ♪
21
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:16,652
♪ And the movies that we know ♪
22
00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:20,148
♪ May just be passing fancies ♪
23
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,866
(birds chirping)
24
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:30,199
(clearing throat)
25
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,121
(clearing throat loudly)
26
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:33,585
- Oh hi, Sally.
27
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,420
Sally, this is Harry Burns.
28
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:37,506
Harry, this is Sally Albright.
29
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:38,874
- Nice to meet you.
30
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,341
- You wanna drive the first shift?
31
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,552
- No, you're there already, you can start.
32
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:43,556
- Back's open.
33
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,178
- Call me.
34
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:48,767
- I'll call you as soon as I get there.
35
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:49,931
- Call me from the road.
36
00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:53,059
- I'll call you before that.
37
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:53,897
- I love you.
38
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:54,935
- I love you.
39
00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,105
(horn honking)
40
00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:01,115
- Sorry.
41
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:03,531
- I miss you already.
42
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:04,366
- I miss you.
- Huh?
43
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:05,200
I miss you already.
44
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,113
Bye.
45
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,031
- Bye.
46
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:10,451
♪ In time, the Rockies may crumble ♪
47
00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:13,326
♪ Gibraltar may tumble J”
48
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,828
♪ They only made of clay ♪
49
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:18,001
♪ But ♪
50
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:22,969
♪ Our love is here to stay ♪
51
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,925
- I have it all figured out.
52
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,013
It's an 18 hour trip,
53
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,475
which breaks down into six
shifts of three hours each
54
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:32,391
or alternatively we can
break it down by mileage.
55
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:37,145
There's a map on the visor
56
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:39,484
that I've marked to show the locations
57
00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:41,195
where we can change shifts.
58
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,198
- Grape?
59
00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:45,069
- No, I don't like to eat between meals.
60
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,496
- I'll roll down the window.
61
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,249
Why don't you tell me
the story of your life?
62
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,469
- The story of my life?
63
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,465
- We got 18 hours to kill
before we hit New York.
64
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:10,762
- The story of my life isn't even gonna
65
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:11,759
get us out of Chicago.
66
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,556
I mean, nothing's happened to me yet.
67
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:14,849
That's why I'm going to New York.
68
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:15,937
- So something happened to you?
69
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,727
- Yes.
- Like what?
70
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:20,442
- Like I'm going journalism
school to become a reporter.
71
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:24,439
- So you can write about things
that happen to other people.
72
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:25,860
- That's one way to look at it.
73
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,449
- Suppose nothing happens to you.
74
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,409
Suppose you lived out your
whole life and nothing happens,
75
00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:31,403
you never meet anybody,
you never become anything
76
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:33,451
and finally you die in one
of those New York deaths
77
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,744
where nobody notices for two weeks
78
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,708
until the smell drifts into the hallway.
79
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,580
- [Sally] Amanda mentioned
you had a dark side.
80
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:42,877
- [Harry] That's what drew her to me.
81
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:43,715
- [Sally] Your dark side.
82
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:44,549
- Sure.
83
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,544
Why, don't you have a dark side?
84
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,171
No, you're probably one
of those cheerful people
85
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,297
who dots their I's with little hearts.
86
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:53,016
- I have just as much of a
dark side as the next person.
87
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,054
- Oh really.
88
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,554
When I buy a new book, I always
read the last page first.
89
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:59,398
That way, in case I die before
I finish, I know how it ends.
90
00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:01,062
That, my friend, is a dark side.
91
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,643
- That doesn't mean
you're deep or anything.
92
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:04,645
I mean,
93
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:06,818
yes, basically I'm a happy person.
94
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:07,656
- [Harry] So am I.
95
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,525
- And I don't see that there's
anything wrong with that.
96
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,822
- Of course not, you're
too busy being happy.
97
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,991
Do you ever think about death?
98
00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:13,954
- Yes.
99
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:14,788
- Sure you do.
100
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:15,622
A fleeting thought that jumps in and out
101
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:16,740
of the transient of your mind.
102
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:18,116
I spend hours, I spend days.
103
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:20,870
- And you think this
makes you a better person?
104
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,497
- Look, when the shit comes down,
105
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,043
I'm gonna be prepared and you're
not, that's all I'm saying.
106
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,882
- And in the mean time, you're gonna ruin
107
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,376
your whole life waiting for it.
108
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:34,683
(pleasant piano music)
109
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,060
You're wrong'
110
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:37,894
- [Harry] I'm not wrong.
111
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:38,729
- [Sally] You're wrong!
112
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:39,688
- [Harry] He wants her to leave.
113
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:40,897
That's why he puts her on the plane.
114
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,687
- [Sally] I don't think she wants to stay.
115
00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:44,105
- [Harry] Of course she wants to stay.
116
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,853
Wouldn't you rather be
with Humphrey Bogart
117
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:46,695
than the other guy?
118
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,905
- [Sally] I don't want to
spend the rest of my life
119
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:52,527
in Casablanca married
to a man who runs a bar.
120
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:55,154
That probably sounds very
snobbish to you but I don't.
121
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,872
- [Harry] You'd rather be
in a passionless marriage.
122
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,786
- [Sally] And be the First
Lady of Czechoslovakia.
123
00:06:58,793 --> 00:06:59,783
- Than live with the man you've had
124
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,626
the greatest sex of you life with,
125
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:04,668
just because he owns a bar
and that is all he does?
126
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,164
- Yes.
127
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,213
And so would any woman in her right mind.
128
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:10,756
Women are very practical,
even Ingrid Bergman,
129
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,973
which is why she gets on the
plane at the end of the movie.
130
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:18,771
- I understand.
131
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,271
- What?
132
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,105
What?
133
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,143
- Nothing.
134
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:23,982
- What?
135
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,100
- Forget about it.
136
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,647
- What, forget about what?
137
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:27,645
- It's not important.
138
00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:28,656
- Just tell me.
139
00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:33,238
- Obviously you haven't had great sex yet.
140
00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:34,734
Two please.
141
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:35,736
- Right over there.
(crowed commotion)
142
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:36,908
- Yes I have.
(crowed commotion)
143
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:37,905
- No you haven't.
(crowed commotion)
144
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:41,125
- It just so happens that I
have had plenty of good sex.
145
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:43,915
(crowd silencing)
146
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:54,714
("Ramblin' Man" by The
Allman Brothers Band)
147
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:58,809
♪ Lord, I was born a ramblin' man ♪
148
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,063
- With whom?
149
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:03,597
- What?
150
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,394
- With whom did you have this great sex?
151
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,568
- I'm not gonna tell you that.
152
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:09,606
- Fine, don't tell me.
153
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:15,735
♪ I was born a ramblin' man J”
154
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:16,745
- Shel Gordon.
155
00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,655
- Shel? Sheldon?
156
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:23,159
No, no, you didn't have
great sex with Sheldon.
157
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,204
- I did too.
158
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,212
- No you didn't.
159
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,129
A Sheldon can do your income taxes.
160
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,545
If you need a root canal,
Sheldon's your man,
161
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:33,010
but humping and pumping is
not Sheldon's strong suit.
162
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:33,844
It's the name.
163
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,339
"Do it to me, Sheldon,
you're an animal, Sheldon,"
164
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,932
"ride me big Sheldon."
165
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,175
Doesn't work.
166
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,722
- [Waitress] Hi.
167
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:42,561
What can I get you?
168
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:43,929
- I'll have the number three.
169
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:46,603
- I'd like the chef salad, please,
170
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,020
with the oil and vinegar on the side
171
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,814
and the apple pie a la mode.
172
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:52,734
- Chef and apple a la mode.
173
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,607
- But I'd like the pie heated
174
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,904
and I don't want the ice cream
on top, I want it on the side
175
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:59,118
and I'd like strawberry instead
of vanilla if you have it.
176
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:00,954
If not, then no ice
cream just whipped cream
177
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:03,619
but only if it's real, if it's
out of a can then nothing.
178
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:04,866
- Not even the pie?
179
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,835
- No, just the pie but then not heated.
180
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:09,131
- Uh huh.
181
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:15,468
- What?
182
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:16,472
- Nothing, nothing.
183
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,556
So, how come you broke up with Sheldon?
184
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,551
- How do you know we broke up?
185
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,552
- Because if you didn't break up,
186
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,598
you wouldn't be here with me.
187
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,098
You'd be off with Sheldon
the wonder-schlong.
188
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:31,561
- First of all, I am not "with" you,
189
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,687
and second of all, it
is none of your business
190
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:35,234
why we broke up.
191
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,777
- You're right, you're right.
192
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:37,785
I don't wanna know.
193
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:42,571
- Well if you must know,
194
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,118
it was because he was very jealous
195
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,116
and I had these
days-of-the-week underpants.
196
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,208
(imitating a wrong answer buzzer)
197
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:48,998
- I'm sorry, I need a
judge's ruling on this.
198
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,212
"Days-of-week underpants."
199
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,172
- Yes.
200
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,415
They had the days of the week on them
201
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,542
and I thought they were sort of funny.
202
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:56,918
And then one day, Sheldon says to me,
203
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,297
"You never wear Sunday."
204
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,968
It's a " suspicious, " Where was Sunday?
205
00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:02,511
"Where had I left Sunday?"
206
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:05,181
And I told him and he didn't believe me.
207
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,349
- What?
208
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:08,267
- They don't make Sunday.
209
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:09,274
- Why not?
210
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:10,984
- Because of God.
211
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,896
(crickets chirping)
212
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:18,274
Okay, so 15 percent of my share
213
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,284
is 90.
214
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:21,995
6.90.
215
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:27,873
This leaves seven.
216
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:31,964
What?
217
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:37,259
Do I have something on my face?
218
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,128
- You're a very attractive person.
219
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:43,423
- Thank you.
220
00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:45,892
- Amanda never said how
attractive you were.
221
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:48,603
- Well may be she doesn't
think I'm attractive.
222
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,222
- I don't think it's a matter of opinion.
223
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,769
Empirically, you are attractive.
224
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,816
- Amanda is my friend.
225
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,405
- So?
226
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,898
- So, you're going with her.
227
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,445
- So?
228
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:02,988
- So you're coming on to me.
229
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,164
- No I wasn't.
230
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,167
What?
231
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,001
Can't a man say a woman is attractive
232
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,290
without it being a come-on?
233
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,917
- All right, all right.
234
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,632
Let's just say, just for
the sake of argument,
235
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,672
that it was a come-on.
236
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,511
What do you want me to do about it?
237
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,845
I take it back, okay?
238
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:23,964
I take it back.
239
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,340
- You can't take it back.
240
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,341
- Why not?
241
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,138
- Because it's already out there.
242
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,137
- Oh geez, what are we suppose to do?
243
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,934
Call the cops, it's already out there.
244
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:34,979
- Just let it lie.
245
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,226
Okay?
246
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:37,568
- Great, let it lie.
247
00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:38,937
That's my policy.
248
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:43,117
That's what I always say, "Let it lie."
249
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,905
Wanna spend the night at a motel?
250
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:45,744
See what I did?
251
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,078
I didn't let it lie.
- Harry.
252
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,196
- I said I would and then I didn't.
253
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,289
- Harry.
- I went the other way.
254
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:50,292
- Harry?
- What?
255
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,539
- We are just going to be friends, okay?
256
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,377
- Great, friends.
257
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,380
It's the best thing.
258
00:11:57,592 --> 00:12:00,584
You realize, of course, that
we can never be friends.
259
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:01,960
- [Sally] Why not?
260
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,461
- What I'm saying is,
261
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:06,340
and this is not a come-on
in any way, shape or form,
262
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,092
is that men and women can't be friends
263
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,264
because the sex part
always gets in the way.
264
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,184
- That's not true.
265
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:16,024
I have a number of men friends
266
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:17,517
and there's is no sex involved.
267
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:18,359
- No you don't.
- Yes I do.
268
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,945
- No you don't.
- Yes I do.
269
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,404
- You only think you do.
270
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,863
- You're saying I'm
having sex with these men
271
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:23,732
without my knowledge?
272
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:27,281
- No, what I'm saying is they
all want to have sex with you.
273
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,778
- They do not.
- Do too.
274
00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:31,282
- They do not.
- Do too.
275
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,282
- How do you know?
276
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,034
- Because no man can
be friends with a woman
277
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,160
that he finds attractive.
278
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:37,003
He always wants to have sex with her.
279
00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,625
- So you're saying that
a man can be friends
280
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:42,626
with a woman he finds unattractive.
281
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,628
- No, you pretty much wanna nail 'em too.
282
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,508
- What if they don't
wanna have sex with you?
283
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:50,350
- Doesn't matter,
284
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:51,935
because the sex thing
is already out there,
285
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,554
so the friendship is ultimately doomed
286
00:12:53,564 --> 00:12:55,896
and that is the end of the story.
287
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,482
- Well I guess we're not
gonna be friends then.
288
00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:58,816
- Guess not.
289
00:12:58,820 --> 00:12:59,820
- That's too bad.
290
00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:03,067
You were the only person
that I knew in New York.
291
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:07,485
♪ You say ee-ther and I say either I
292
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:11,329
♪ You say nee-ther and I say neither ♪
293
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,289
♪ Ee-ther, either I
294
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,284
♪ A nee-then a neither:'
295
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:19,163
♪ Let's call the whole thing off ♪
296
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:23,132
♪ You like potato and I like potahto ♪
297
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:27,095
♪ You like tomato and I like tomahto ♪
298
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:31,262
♪ Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto ♪
299
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:36,230
♪ Let's call the whole thing off ♪
300
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:39,479
(traffic commotion)
301
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:43,861
- Thanks for the ride.
302
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:46,197
- Yeah, it was interesting.
303
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,736
- It was nice knowing you.
304
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:48,744
- Yeah.
305
00:13:58,087 --> 00:13:59,748
Well, have a nice life.
306
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:01,923
- You too.
307
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,259
♪ You like potato and I like potahto ♪
308
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:10,301
♪ You like tomato and I like tomahto ♪
309
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:14,267
♪ Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto. ♪
310
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:19,231
♪ Let's call the whole thing off ♪
311
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:21,937
- We fell in love in high school.
312
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:24,231
- Yeah, we were high school sweethearts.
313
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:27,526
- But then after our junior
year, his parents moved away.
314
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,069
- But I never forgot her.
315
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:31,610
- He never forgot me.
316
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:35,364
- No, her face was burned on my brain
317
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:39,084
and it was 34 years later that
I was walking down Broadway
318
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,419
and I saw her come out of Toffenetti's.
319
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,413
- And we both looked at each other,
320
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:47,839
and it was just as though
not a single day had gone by.
321
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:51,930
- She was just as beautiful
as she was at sixteen.
322
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:53,515
- He was just the same.
323
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,305
He looked exactly the same.
324
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:03,809
♪ It seems we stood and talked ♪
325
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:08,235
♪ Like this, before I
326
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:13,202
I We looked at each other
in the same way then J”
327
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:18,332
♪ But I can't remember where or when ♪
328
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:25,880
(Sally giggling)
329
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:32,007
- Joe, I thought it was
you, I thought it was you.
330
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:32,845
Harry Burns.
331
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:34,339
- Harry, Harry how're you doing?
332
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,681
- Good, how're you doing?
333
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:37,016
- Fine, I'm doing fine.
334
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:37,850
- Yeah, that's great.
335
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,185
I was just walking by
and I thought it was you
336
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,019
and there it is, it's you!
337
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,729
- Yeah, yeah, it was.
(laughing)
338
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:42,847
- Are you still with the DA's office?
339
00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:45,100
- [Joe] No, I switched to the other side.
340
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:45,942
What about you?
341
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,403
- I work with a small firm,
we do political consulting.
342
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,397
- Oh, yeah.
- It's been great, yeah.
343
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:51,773
(laughing)
344
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,570
- Oh, Harry, this is Sally Albright.
345
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:54,578
Harry Burns.
346
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:58,075
Harry and I, we used to, we
lived in the same building.
347
00:15:58,082 --> 00:16:00,244
(laughing)
348
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,205
- Well, listen, I got a plane to catch,
349
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,373
it was really good to see you, Joe.
350
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:05,211
- [Joe] You too, Harry.
351
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,214
- Bye.
352
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,178
- Thank God he couldn't place me.
353
00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:16,594
I drove from college to New
York with him five years ago
354
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,808
and it was the longest night of my life.
355
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,304
- What happened?
356
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,272
- He made a pass at me and when I said no,
357
00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:26,141
he was going with a girlfriend of mine.
358
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,107
Oh God, I can't remember her name.
359
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,772
Don't get involved with me, Joe,
360
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:35,275
I am 26 years old and I
can't even remember the name
361
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:36,742
of the girl I was such good friends with
362
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,612
I wouldn't get involved
with her boyfriend.
363
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:41,118
- So what happened?
364
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:41,956
- When?
365
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:43,870
- When he made a pass
at you and you said no.
366
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,084
- Oh, oh.
367
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,669
I said we could just be friends.
368
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:48,838
And this part I remember,
369
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:51,708
he said that men and women
could never really be friends.
370
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:54,468
Do you think that's true?
371
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:57,968
- No.
372
00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,216
- Do you have any women
friends, just friends?
373
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,521
- No.
374
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:05,521
But I will get one if
it is important to you.
375
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,192
- Amanda Reese.
376
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,937
That was her name, thank God.
377
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:13,865
- I will miss you.
378
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:15,659
I love you.
379
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:17,702
- You do?
380
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:19,829
- Yes.
381
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:22,499
- I love you.
382
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,355
- And what would you like to drink?
383
00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:49,724
- [Woman] Nothing, thanks.
384
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:51,225
- Do you have any Bloody Marry mix?
385
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,068
- [Attendant] Yes.
386
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:53,436
- No, wait.
387
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:54,608
Here's what I want.
388
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,982
Regular tomato juice, filled
up about three quarters
389
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,576
than add a splash of Bloody
Marry mix, just a splash,
390
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,786
and a little piece of
lime but on the side.
391
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,496
- The University of Chicago, right?
392
00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:06,411
- Yes.
393
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:09,081
- Did you look this good at
the University of Chicago?
394
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:09,873
- No.
395
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:10,880
- Did we ever?
396
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:12,797
- No, no.
397
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:17,460
We drove from Chicago to New
York together after graduation.
398
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,595
- Would you two like to sit together?
399
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,010
- No.
- Great, thank you.
400
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,563
You were a good friend of.
401
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,360
- Amanda's.
402
00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:35,023
I can't believe you
can't remember her name.
403
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:36,271
- What do you mean, I can remember.
404
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:37,568
- Amanda, right, Amanda Rice.
405
00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:38,656
- Reese.
- Reese, right.
406
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:39,444
That's what I said.
407
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:40,613
Whatever happened to her?
408
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,530
- I have no idea.
409
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,403
- You have no idea?
410
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:44,620
You were really good friends with her.
411
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,991
We didn't make it because
you were such good friends.
412
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:47,957
- You went with her.
413
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:48,995
- And was it worth it?
414
00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:50,539
The sacrifice for a
friend that you don't even
415
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:51,661
keep in touch with?
416
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,913
- Harry, you might not believe this
417
00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:57,417
but I never considered not
sleeping with you a sacrifice.
418
00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,843
- Fair enough.
419
00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:00,847
Fair enough.
420
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:05,342
You were gonna be a gymnast.
421
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:06,263
- A journalist.
422
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:08,227
- Right, that's what I said, and?
423
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,471
- I am a journalist, I work at the news.
424
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,099
- Great and you're with Joe.
425
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,726
Well that's great.
426
00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:15,943
Great.
427
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,653
You're together, what, three weeks?
428
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:20,614
- A month.
429
00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:21,449
How did you know that?
430
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:22,692
- You take someone to the airport,
431
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,535
it's clearly the beginning
of a relationship.
432
00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:26,654
That's why I have never
taken anyone to the airport
433
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,873
at the beginning of a relationship.
434
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:29,866
- Why?
435
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,333
- Because eventually things move on
436
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:32,919
and you don't take someone to the airport,
437
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:34,583
and I never wanted anyone to say to me,
438
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:37,127
"How come you never take
me to the airport anymore?"
439
00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:41,177
- It's amazing, you look
like a normal person
440
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,387
but actually you're the Angel of Death.
441
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:44,631
- Are you gonna marry him?
442
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,593
- We have only known
each other for a month,
443
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:50,186
and besides, neither one of us is looking
444
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,850
to get married right now.
445
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,723
- I'm getting married.
446
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:54,565
- You are?
447
00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:56,024
- Mhmm.
448
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:56,984
- You are.
449
00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:57,987
- Yeah.
450
00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:00,195
- Who is she?
451
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:03,317
- Helen Helson, she's a
lawyer, she's keeping her name.
452
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:04,488
(laughing)
453
00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:05,951
- You're getting married.
454
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,946
- Yeah.
(laughing)
455
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,197
What's so funny about that?
456
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,208
- It's, no.
457
00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:13,201
(laughing)
458
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,453
It's just so optimistic of you, Harry.
459
00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,171
- Well you'd be amazed
what falling madly in love
460
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,460
can do for you.
461
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:19,548
- Well it's wonderful.
462
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:22,135
It's nice to see you
embracing life in this manner.
463
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,095
- Yeah, plus you know you
just get to a certain point
464
00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:26,465
where you get tired of the whole thing.
465
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:27,556
- What "whole thing?"
466
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,801
- The whole life-of-a-single-guy thing.
467
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,598
You meet someone, you have the safe lunch,
468
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:34,267
you decide you like each other
enough to move on to dinner.
469
00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:36,642
You go dancing, you do
the white-man's over-bite,
470
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,736
go back to her place, you have sex
471
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:40,604
and the minute you're finished,
472
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,230
you know what goes through your mind?
473
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,073
How long do I have to
lie here and hold her
474
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,987
before I can get up and go home?
475
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:47,156
Is 30 seconds enough?
476
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,737
- That's what you're thinking?
477
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,080
Is that true?
478
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,448
- Sure, all men think that.
479
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:55,994
How long do you want
to be held afterwards?
480
00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,291
All night, right?
481
00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:58,288
See that's the problem.
482
00:20:58,299 --> 00:21:01,542
Somewhere between 30 seconds
and all night is your problem.
483
00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:02,883
- I don't have a problem.
484
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:03,887
- Yeah you do.
485
00:21:05,806 --> 00:21:08,924
(airplane screeching)
486
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:20,320
Staying over?
487
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:22,069
- Yes.
488
00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:23,352
- Would you like to have dinner?
489
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:25,606
Just friends.
490
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:26,608
- I thought you didn't believe
491
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,155
men and women could be friends.
492
00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:28,993
- When did I say that?
493
00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:29,986
- On the ride to New York.
494
00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:32,159
- No, no, no, no, I never said that.
495
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:36,375
Yes, that's right, they can't be friends.
496
00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:39,165
Unless both of them are
involved with other people,
497
00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,163
then they can.
498
00:21:40,174 --> 00:21:41,664
This is an amendment to the earlier rule,
499
00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:43,507
if the two people are in relationships,
500
00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:46,094
the pressure of possibility
of involvement is lifted.
501
00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:49,346
That doesn't work either
because what happens then
502
00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:51,091
is the person you're involved
with can't understand
503
00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:51,966
why you need to be friends
504
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:53,433
with the person you're just friends with.
505
00:21:53,437 --> 00:21:55,019
Like it means something is
missing from their relationship
506
00:21:55,022 --> 00:21:57,013
and "Why do you have to
go outside to get it?"
507
00:21:57,024 --> 00:21:58,640
Then when you say, "No,
no, no, no, it's not true."
508
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:00,107
"Nothing is missing
from the relationship."
509
00:22:00,110 --> 00:22:01,976
The person you're involved
with then accuses you
510
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,853
of being secretly attracted to the person
511
00:22:03,864 --> 00:22:05,696
you're just friends with,
which we probably are.
512
00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:07,064
I mean, come on, who
the hell are we kidding?
513
00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:07,907
Let's face it.
514
00:22:07,910 --> 00:22:09,366
Which brings us back to the earlier rule
515
00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:10,235
before the amendment,
516
00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:11,907
which is men and women can't be friends,
517
00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:13,279
so where does that leave us?
518
00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:14,576
- Harry?
- What?
519
00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:15,583
- Goodbye.
520
00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:17,961
- Okay.
521
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:27,836
I'll just stop walking,
I'll let you go ahead.
522
00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:34,846
- We were married 40 years ago.
523
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:37,095
We were married three
years, we got a divorce.
524
00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:38,722
Then I married Marjorie.
525
00:22:38,732 --> 00:22:40,188
- But first you lived with Barbara.
526
00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:41,273
- Right, Barbara.
527
00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:44,235
But I didn't marry Barbara,
I married Marjorie.
528
00:22:44,238 --> 00:22:45,694
- Then he got a divorce.
529
00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:47,655
- Right, then I married Katie.
530
00:22:47,658 --> 00:22:49,069
- Another divorce.
531
00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:50,282
- Then, a couple of years later,
532
00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:51,947
at Eddie Collecio's funeral,
533
00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:53,661
I ran into her.
534
00:22:53,664 --> 00:22:56,201
I was with some girl
I don't even remember.
535
00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:58,040
- Roberta.
536
00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:59,954
- Right, Roberta.
537
00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:02,374
But I couldn't take my eyes off you.
538
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:04,964
I remember I snuck over to her and I said.
539
00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:07,467
What did I say?
540
00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:09,176
- You said, "What're you doing after?"
541
00:23:09,179 --> 00:23:10,010
- Right.
542
00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:12,381
So I ditch Roberta, we go for coffee.
543
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:13,847
A month later we're married.
544
00:23:13,851 --> 00:23:16,513
- 35 years, to the day,
after our first marriage.
545
00:23:20,649 --> 00:23:21,480
- I went through his pockets, okay?
546
00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:23,770
- Marie, why do you go
through his pockets?
547
00:23:23,777 --> 00:23:24,733
- You know what I found?
548
00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:25,647
- No, what?
549
00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:27,486
- They just bought a dinning room table.
550
00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:29,605
He and his wife just went out
and spent 16 hundred dollars
551
00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:30,607
on a dinning room table.
552
00:23:30,618 --> 00:23:31,449
- Where?
553
00:23:31,452 --> 00:23:33,614
- The point isn't where, Alice.
554
00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:35,862
The point is he's never gonna leave her.
555
00:23:35,873 --> 00:23:38,661
- So what else is new, you've
known this for two years.
556
00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:41,125
- You're right, you're
right, I know you're right.
557
00:23:41,128 --> 00:23:42,414
- Why can't you find someone single?
558
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:45,254
When I was single I knew
lots of nice single men.
559
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:46,839
There must be someone.
560
00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:48,424
Sally found someone.
561
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:50,668
- [Marie] Sally got the last good one.
562
00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:51,965
- Joe and I broke up.
563
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:52,803
- What?
564
00:23:52,806 --> 00:23:53,637
- When?
565
00:23:53,641 --> 00:23:54,472
- Monday.
566
00:23:54,475 --> 00:23:55,510
- You waited three days to tell us?
567
00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:56,632
- Joe's available?
568
00:23:56,644 --> 00:23:57,884
- Oh for God sakes, Marie,
569
00:23:57,895 --> 00:23:59,477
don't you have any feelings about this?
570
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:00,891
She's obviously upset.
571
00:24:00,898 --> 00:24:01,854
- I'm not that upset,
572
00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:04,269
we've been growing apart for quite a while
573
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:05,516
- But you guys were a couple,
574
00:24:05,527 --> 00:24:06,733
you had someone to go places with,
575
00:24:06,737 --> 00:24:09,695
you had a date on national holidays.
576
00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:11,814
- I said to myself, "You
deserve more than this."
577
00:24:11,825 --> 00:24:13,315
"You're thirty one years old."
578
00:24:13,327 --> 00:24:14,613
- And the clock is ticking.
579
00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:16,076
- No, the clock doesn't
really start to tick
580
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,787
until you're 36.
581
00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:20,327
- God, you're in such great shape.
582
00:24:20,334 --> 00:24:21,916
- Well, I've had a few
days to get use to it
583
00:24:21,919 --> 00:24:24,581
and I feel okay.
584
00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:26,124
- Good, then you're ready.
585
00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:29,298
- Really, Marie.
586
00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:31,588
- Well how else do you think you do it?
587
00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:32,960
I've got the perfect guy.
588
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:35,430
I don't happen to find him
attractive but you might.
589
00:24:35,432 --> 00:24:37,673
She doesn't have a problem with chins.
590
00:24:37,685 --> 00:24:39,471
- Marie, I'm not ready yet.
591
00:24:39,478 --> 00:24:41,640
- But you just said you were over him.
592
00:24:41,647 --> 00:24:44,639
- I am over him but I'm
in a mourning period.
593
00:24:47,653 --> 00:24:48,643
Who is it?
594
00:24:48,654 --> 00:24:50,065
- Alex Anderson.
595
00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:51,358
(groaning)
596
00:24:51,365 --> 00:24:54,107
- You fixed me up with him six years ago.
597
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:55,734
- Sorry.
(laughing)
598
00:24:55,744 --> 00:24:56,825
God.
599
00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:58,035
All right, wait, here.
600
00:24:58,038 --> 00:24:59,324
Here we go.
601
00:24:59,331 --> 00:25:00,867
Ken Darman.
602
00:25:00,874 --> 00:25:03,081
- He's been married for over a year.
603
00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:04,085
- Really?
604
00:25:05,212 --> 00:25:06,293
Married.
605
00:25:07,589 --> 00:25:08,704
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
606
00:25:08,716 --> 00:25:09,831
- Look.
- I got one.
607
00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:11,549
- There is no point in
my going out with someone
608
00:25:11,552 --> 00:25:14,260
I might really like if I
met him at the right time
609
00:25:14,263 --> 00:25:16,800
but who, right now, has no
chance of being anything to me
610
00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:18,263
but a transitional man.
611
00:25:18,267 --> 00:25:20,975
- Okay but don't wait too long.
612
00:25:20,978 --> 00:25:23,219
Remember what happened to David Warsaw?
613
00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:24,561
His wife left him and everyone said
614
00:25:24,565 --> 00:25:27,853
give him some time,
don't move in too fast.
615
00:25:27,860 --> 00:25:29,567
Six months later, he was dead.
616
00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:31,352
- What are you saying?
617
00:25:31,363 --> 00:25:32,819
I should get married to someone right away
618
00:25:32,823 --> 00:25:34,405
in case he's about to die?
619
00:25:34,408 --> 00:25:36,991
- At least you could say you were married.
620
00:25:36,994 --> 00:25:39,031
- I'm saying that the right man for you
621
00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:41,496
might be out there right now,
and if you don't grab him
622
00:25:41,498 --> 00:25:43,034
someone else will and you'll have to spend
623
00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:44,953
the rest of your life
knowing that someone else
624
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,701
is married to your husband.
625
00:25:51,508 --> 00:25:53,124
(yelling)
626
00:25:53,135 --> 00:25:56,173
(football commotion)
627
00:25:57,639 --> 00:26:00,347
(crowd cheering)
628
00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:09,515
- When did this happen?
629
00:26:09,526 --> 00:26:11,108
- Friday.
630
00:26:11,111 --> 00:26:13,273
Helen comes home from work and she says,
631
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,817
"I don't know if I want
to be married anymore."
632
00:26:15,824 --> 00:26:17,110
Like it's the institution.
633
00:26:17,117 --> 00:26:18,323
You know, like it's nothing personal,
634
00:26:18,327 --> 00:26:21,445
just something she's been
thinking about in a casual way.
635
00:26:21,455 --> 00:26:23,196
I'm calm, I say,
636
00:26:23,207 --> 00:26:24,242
"Why don't we take some
time to think about it,"
637
00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:26,206
"you know, don't rush into anything."
638
00:26:26,210 --> 00:26:27,200
- Yeah, right.
639
00:26:27,211 --> 00:26:29,452
- Next day, she said
she's thought about it,
640
00:26:29,463 --> 00:26:31,374
and she wants a trial separation.
641
00:26:31,381 --> 00:26:34,419
She just wants to try it, she
says, but we can still date.
642
00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:36,008
Like this is supposed to cushion the blow.
643
00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:38,252
I mean, I got married
so I can stop dating.
644
00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:40,800
So I don't see where we can
still date is any big incentive,
645
00:26:40,808 --> 00:26:42,970
since the last thing you
want to do is date your wife,
646
00:26:42,976 --> 00:26:44,466
who's suppose to love you,
647
00:26:44,478 --> 00:26:45,889
which is what I'm saying,
when it occurs to me
648
00:26:45,896 --> 00:26:48,388
that may be she doesn't.
649
00:26:48,398 --> 00:26:51,311
So I say to her, "Don't
you love me anymore?"
650
00:26:51,318 --> 00:26:52,604
You know what she says?
651
00:26:52,611 --> 00:26:54,272
"I don't know if I've ever loved you."
652
00:26:54,279 --> 00:26:55,644
- Oh, that's harsh.
653
00:26:55,656 --> 00:26:57,488
(crowd cheering)
654
00:26:57,491 --> 00:26:59,027
You don't bounce back
from that right away.
655
00:26:59,034 --> 00:27:00,115
- Thanks, Jess.
656
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:01,780
- No, I'm a writer, I know dialogue
657
00:27:01,787 --> 00:27:03,949
and that's particularly harsh.
658
00:27:03,956 --> 00:27:05,742
- Then she tells me that
somebody in her office
659
00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:09,037
is going to South America and
she can sub-let his apartment.
660
00:27:09,044 --> 00:27:11,911
I can't believe this,
and the doorbell rings.
661
00:27:11,922 --> 00:27:13,287
"I can sub-let his apartment."
662
00:27:13,298 --> 00:27:14,959
The words are still hanging in the air,
663
00:27:14,967 --> 00:27:16,753
you know, like in a balloon
attached to a mouth.
664
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:17,670
- Like a cartoon.
665
00:27:17,678 --> 00:27:18,463
- Right.
666
00:27:18,470 --> 00:27:21,462
So I go to the door and
there were moving men there.
667
00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,430
Now I start to get suspicious.
668
00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:25,845
I say, "Helen, when did
you call these movers?"
669
00:27:25,853 --> 00:27:27,435
And she doesn't say anything.
670
00:27:27,437 --> 00:27:28,268
So I asked the movers,
671
00:27:28,272 --> 00:27:30,263
"When did this woman
book you for this gig?"
672
00:27:30,274 --> 00:27:31,264
And they're just standing there.
673
00:27:31,275 --> 00:27:32,936
Three huge guys, one of them was wearing
674
00:27:32,943 --> 00:27:35,560
a t-shirt that says,
"Don't fuck with Mr. Zero."
675
00:27:35,571 --> 00:27:39,360
So I said, "Helen, when did
you make this arrangement?"
676
00:27:39,366 --> 00:27:41,357
She says, "A week ago."
677
00:27:41,368 --> 00:27:44,451
I said, "You've known for a
week and you didn't tell me?"
678
00:27:44,454 --> 00:27:47,367
And she says, "I didn't
want to ruin your birthday."
679
00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:50,082
(crowd cheering)
680
00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:52,622
- You're say Mr. Zero knew
you were getting a divorce
681
00:27:52,629 --> 00:27:53,585
a week before you did?
682
00:27:53,589 --> 00:27:54,704
- Mr. Zero knew.
683
00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:55,580
- I can't believe this.
684
00:27:55,591 --> 00:27:57,457
- I haven't told you the bad part yet.
685
00:27:57,467 --> 00:28:00,129
- What could be worse
than Mr. Zero knowing?
686
00:28:00,137 --> 00:28:01,137
- It's all a lie.
687
00:28:02,806 --> 00:28:04,763
She's in love with somebody else.
688
00:28:04,766 --> 00:28:05,881
Some tax attorney.
689
00:28:06,894 --> 00:28:08,430
She moved in with him.
690
00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:09,552
- How did you find out?
691
00:28:11,190 --> 00:28:13,397
- I followed her, I stood
outside the building.
692
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:14,765
- So humiliating.
693
00:28:14,776 --> 00:28:16,562
- Tell me about it.
694
00:28:16,570 --> 00:28:18,152
And do you know I knew?
695
00:28:18,155 --> 00:28:20,112
I knew the whole time that
even though we were happy
696
00:28:20,115 --> 00:28:21,651
it was just an illusion and that one day
697
00:28:21,658 --> 00:28:23,774
she would kick the shit out of me.
698
00:28:23,785 --> 00:28:26,777
- Marriages don't break up
on account of infidelity.
699
00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:29,496
It's just a symptom that
something else is wrong.
700
00:28:29,499 --> 00:28:30,330
- Oh really?
701
00:28:30,334 --> 00:28:32,371
Well that symptom is fucking my wife.
702
00:28:32,377 --> 00:28:35,085
(crowd cheering)
703
00:28:36,632 --> 00:28:39,420
- So I just happen to see
his American Express bill.
704
00:28:41,136 --> 00:28:43,878
- What do you mean you
just "happened" to see it?
705
00:28:43,889 --> 00:28:47,598
- Well, he was shaving and
there it was, in his briefcase.
706
00:28:47,601 --> 00:28:48,432
- What if he came out
707
00:28:48,435 --> 00:28:50,346
and saw you looking through his briefcase?
708
00:28:50,354 --> 00:28:53,221
- You're missing the point,
I'm telling you what I found.
709
00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:55,849
He just spent a hundred and twenty dollars
710
00:28:55,859 --> 00:28:57,691
on a new night gown for his wife.
711
00:28:59,363 --> 00:29:01,946
I don't think he's ever
going to leave her.
712
00:29:01,949 --> 00:29:04,657
- No one thinks he's ever gonna leave her.
713
00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:06,697
- You're right, you're
right, I know you're right.
714
00:29:10,082 --> 00:29:13,291
(faint city commotion)
715
00:29:22,803 --> 00:29:25,795
Someone is staring at
you in "Personal Growth."
716
00:29:29,184 --> 00:29:30,720
- I know him.
717
00:29:30,727 --> 00:29:32,138
You'd like him, he's married.
718
00:29:33,522 --> 00:29:34,887
- Who is he?
719
00:29:34,898 --> 00:29:36,980
- Harry Burns, he's a
political consultant.
720
00:29:37,901 --> 00:29:39,687
- [Marie] He's cute.
721
00:29:39,695 --> 00:29:41,277
- [Sally] You think he's cute?
722
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,066
- [Marie] How do you know he's married?
723
00:29:43,073 --> 00:29:45,280
- 'Cause last time I saw
him, he was getting married.
724
00:29:45,284 --> 00:29:46,284
- When was that?
725
00:29:46,952 --> 00:29:48,534
- Six years ago.
726
00:29:48,537 --> 00:29:50,574
- So he might not be married anymore.
727
00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:53,872
- Also, he's obnoxious.
728
00:29:53,875 --> 00:29:55,331
- This is just like in
the movies, remember?
729
00:29:55,335 --> 00:29:56,951
In "The Lady Vanishes,"
when she says to him,
730
00:29:56,962 --> 00:29:58,043
"You're the most obnoxious
man I ever met..."
731
00:29:58,046 --> 00:29:59,536
- "The most contemptible."
732
00:29:59,548 --> 00:30:01,380
- Then they fall madly in love.
733
00:30:01,383 --> 00:30:02,965
- Also, he never remembers me.
734
00:30:02,968 --> 00:30:04,174
- [Harry] Sally Albright.
735
00:30:06,763 --> 00:30:07,878
- Hi, Harry.
736
00:30:07,889 --> 00:30:08,924
- I thought it was you.
737
00:30:08,932 --> 00:30:10,548
- It is.
738
00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:11,559
This is Marie.
739
00:30:13,437 --> 00:30:14,437
Was Marie.
740
00:30:15,439 --> 00:30:16,304
- How are you?
741
00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:17,271
- Fine.
742
00:30:17,274 --> 00:30:18,639
- How's Joe?
743
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:20,266
- Fine.
744
00:30:20,277 --> 00:30:21,277
I hear he's fine.
745
00:30:22,279 --> 00:30:23,735
- You're not with Joe anymore?
746
00:30:24,614 --> 00:30:26,104
- We just broke up.
747
00:30:26,116 --> 00:30:27,527
- Aw.
748
00:30:27,534 --> 00:30:28,820
I'm sorry, that's too bad.
749
00:30:30,412 --> 00:30:31,573
- Yeah.
750
00:30:31,580 --> 00:30:32,445
Well, you know.
751
00:30:32,456 --> 00:30:33,287
(chuckling)
752
00:30:33,290 --> 00:30:34,576
Yeah.
753
00:30:34,583 --> 00:30:35,583
So,
754
00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:37,825
what about you?
755
00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:38,951
- I'm fine.
756
00:30:38,962 --> 00:30:39,962
- How's married life?
757
00:30:42,049 --> 00:30:43,585
- Not so good.
758
00:30:43,592 --> 00:30:45,299
I'm getting a divorce.
759
00:30:45,302 --> 00:30:46,542
- Oh, I'm sorry.
760
00:30:47,554 --> 00:30:48,589
I'm really sorry.
761
00:30:49,765 --> 00:30:51,472
- Yeah, well, what're you gonna do?
762
00:30:52,809 --> 00:30:54,766
What happened with you guys?
763
00:30:54,770 --> 00:30:56,306
- When Joe and I started
seeing each other,
764
00:30:56,313 --> 00:30:57,929
we wanted exactly the same thing.
765
00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:01,189
We wanted to live together but
we didn't want to get married
766
00:31:01,193 --> 00:31:03,309
because every time anyone
we knew got married
767
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:04,685
it ruined their relationship,
768
00:31:04,696 --> 00:31:06,482
they practically never had sex again.
769
00:31:07,407 --> 00:31:08,647
It's true.
770
00:31:08,658 --> 00:31:11,320
It's one of those secrets
that no one ever tells you.
771
00:31:11,328 --> 00:31:14,241
I would sit around with my
girlfriends who have kids.
772
00:31:14,247 --> 00:31:16,989
Actually, my one girlfriend
who has kids, Alice,
773
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,866
and she would complain
about how she and Garry
774
00:31:18,877 --> 00:31:19,912
never did it anymore.
775
00:31:21,338 --> 00:31:22,578
She didn't even complain about it,
776
00:31:22,589 --> 00:31:23,420
now that I think about it.
777
00:31:23,423 --> 00:31:24,754
She just said it matter-of-factly.
778
00:31:24,758 --> 00:31:26,624
She said, "They were up all night",
779
00:31:26,635 --> 00:31:28,251
"they were both exhausted all the time,"
780
00:31:28,261 --> 00:31:30,298
"the kids just took every sexual impulse"
781
00:31:30,305 --> 00:31:31,386
"they had out of them."
782
00:31:33,934 --> 00:31:35,641
Joe and I use to talk
about it and we'd say,
783
00:31:35,644 --> 00:31:38,602
"We are so lucky we have
this wonderful relationship,"
784
00:31:38,605 --> 00:31:40,642
"we can have sex on the kitchen floor"
785
00:31:40,649 --> 00:31:43,107
"and not worry about the kids walking in."
786
00:31:43,110 --> 00:31:45,602
"We can fly off to Rome
on a moment's notice."
787
00:31:48,073 --> 00:31:49,188
And then, one day,
788
00:31:49,199 --> 00:31:51,315
I was taking to Alice's
little girl for the afternoon
789
00:31:51,326 --> 00:31:53,317
because I promised I'd
take her to the circus,
790
00:31:53,328 --> 00:31:56,696
and we were in the cab playing eye-spy.
791
00:31:56,706 --> 00:31:59,073
Eye-spy mailbox, eye-spy lamppost.
792
00:32:00,544 --> 00:32:02,501
And she looked out the window and she saw
793
00:32:02,504 --> 00:32:05,121
this man and this woman
with these two little kids
794
00:32:05,132 --> 00:32:08,591
and the man had one of the
little kids on his shoulders
795
00:32:08,593 --> 00:32:11,506
and she said, "I spy a family."
796
00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:14,467
And I started to cry.
797
00:32:15,559 --> 00:32:17,049
You know I just started crying.
798
00:32:19,020 --> 00:32:20,886
And I went home and I said,
799
00:32:20,897 --> 00:32:21,762
"The thing is Joe,"
800
00:32:21,773 --> 00:32:25,311
"we never do fly off to
Rome on a moment's notice."
801
00:32:25,318 --> 00:32:26,479
- And the kitchen floor?
802
00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:28,773
- Not once.
803
00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:32,569
It's this very cold, hard
Mexican ceramic tile.
804
00:32:32,576 --> 00:32:33,576
- Hmmm.
805
00:32:34,661 --> 00:32:36,243
- Anyway,
806
00:32:36,246 --> 00:32:38,578
we talked about it for
a long time and I said,
807
00:32:38,582 --> 00:32:39,538
"This is what I want."
808
00:32:39,541 --> 00:32:41,873
And he says, "Well I don't."
809
00:32:41,877 --> 00:32:44,494
And I said, "Well I guess
it's over" and he left.
810
00:32:48,091 --> 00:32:51,254
And the thing is I feel really fine.
811
00:32:52,179 --> 00:32:54,591
I am over him, I mean,
I really am over him.
812
00:32:55,474 --> 00:32:56,430
And that was it for him.
813
00:32:56,433 --> 00:32:58,765
That was the most that he could give.
814
00:32:58,768 --> 00:33:01,556
And every time I think about
it I am more and more convinced
815
00:33:01,563 --> 00:33:02,849
that I did the right thing.
816
00:33:03,982 --> 00:33:05,564
- Boy, you sound really healthy.
817
00:33:06,568 --> 00:33:07,568
- Yeah.
818
00:33:08,612 --> 00:33:10,102
At least I got the apartment.
819
00:33:10,113 --> 00:33:11,979
- That's what everybody says to me too.
820
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:14,527
But really, what's so hard
about finding an apartment?
821
00:33:14,534 --> 00:33:17,071
What you do is you read
the obituary column.
822
00:33:17,078 --> 00:33:18,864
Yeah, you find out who
died, 90 to the building
823
00:33:18,872 --> 00:33:20,704
and then you tip the doorman.
824
00:33:20,707 --> 00:33:21,913
What they could do to make it easier
825
00:33:21,917 --> 00:33:24,579
is to combine the obituaries
with the real estate section.
826
00:33:24,586 --> 00:33:26,418
Then you'd have "Mr. Klein died today",
827
00:33:26,421 --> 00:33:28,162
"leaving a wife, two children,"
828
00:33:28,173 --> 00:33:29,709
"and a spacious three bedroom apartment"
829
00:33:29,716 --> 00:33:31,172
"with a wood burning fireplace."
830
00:33:31,176 --> 00:33:33,008
(laughing)
831
00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:35,753
(somber piano music)
832
00:33:35,764 --> 00:33:36,799
You know, the first time we met,
833
00:33:36,806 --> 00:33:38,797
I really didn't like you that much.
834
00:33:38,808 --> 00:33:39,764
- I didn't like you.
835
00:33:39,768 --> 00:33:40,633
- Yeah you did.
836
00:33:40,644 --> 00:33:41,475
You were just so uptight then.
837
00:33:41,478 --> 00:33:42,639
You're much softer now.
838
00:33:44,314 --> 00:33:45,850
- You know, I hate that kind of remark.
839
00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:48,474
It sounds like a compliment
but really, it's an insult.
840
00:33:48,485 --> 00:33:50,772
- Okay, you're still as hard as nails.
841
00:33:50,779 --> 00:33:52,110
- I just didn't want to sleep with you
842
00:33:52,113 --> 00:33:54,275
and you had to write it
off as a character flaw
843
00:33:54,282 --> 00:33:55,818
instead of dealing with the possibility
844
00:33:55,825 --> 00:33:57,862
that it might have
something to do with you.
845
00:33:59,955 --> 00:34:02,322
- What's the statute of
limitation on apologies?
846
00:34:04,626 --> 00:34:05,457
- Ten years.
847
00:34:05,460 --> 00:34:07,417
- Oh, I can just get it in under the wire.
848
00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:11,589
(pleasant piano music)
849
00:34:13,218 --> 00:34:16,336
- Would you like to have
dinner with me sometime?
850
00:34:16,346 --> 00:34:17,802
- Are we becoming friends now?
851
00:34:20,225 --> 00:34:21,225
- Well,
852
00:34:23,186 --> 00:34:24,186
yeah.
853
00:34:26,106 --> 00:34:27,562
- Great.
854
00:34:27,566 --> 00:34:29,978
A woman friend.
855
00:34:29,985 --> 00:34:31,692
You know, you may be the
first attractive woman
856
00:34:31,695 --> 00:34:34,153
I have not wanted to sleep
with in my entire life.
857
00:34:35,073 --> 00:34:36,734
- [Sally] That's wonderful, Harry.
858
00:34:38,827 --> 00:34:40,784
- We were both born in the same hospital.
859
00:34:40,787 --> 00:34:42,073
- In 1921.
860
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,697
- Seven days apart.
- In the same hospital.
861
00:34:44,708 --> 00:34:45,948
- We both grew up one block
862
00:34:45,959 --> 00:34:47,745
away from each other.
- We both lived in tenements.
863
00:34:47,752 --> 00:34:49,083
- On the lower East Side.
864
00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:50,828
- On Delancey Street.
865
00:34:50,839 --> 00:34:52,455
- My family moved to the Bronx
866
00:34:52,465 --> 00:34:54,047
when I was ten.
- He lived on Fordham Road.
867
00:34:54,050 --> 00:34:55,540
- Hers moved when she was eleven.
868
00:34:55,552 --> 00:34:57,213
- I lived on a hundred
and eighty third Street.
869
00:34:57,220 --> 00:34:59,632
- For six years she
worked on the 15 floor...
870
00:34:59,639 --> 00:35:01,175
- I worked for a very
prominent neurologist.
871
00:35:01,182 --> 00:35:04,925
- As a nurse where I had
a practice on the 14 floor
872
00:35:04,936 --> 00:35:06,301
of the very same building.
873
00:35:06,313 --> 00:35:07,428
- We never met.
874
00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:08,270
- Never met.
875
00:35:08,273 --> 00:35:09,934
- Can you imagine that?
876
00:35:09,941 --> 00:35:11,431
- You know where we met?
877
00:35:11,443 --> 00:35:12,274
In an elevator.
878
00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:13,517
- I was visiting family.
879
00:35:13,528 --> 00:35:15,485
- In the ambassador hotel
in Chicago, Illinois.
880
00:35:15,488 --> 00:35:17,820
- He was on the third
floor, I was on the 12th.
881
00:35:17,824 --> 00:35:21,658
- I rode up nine extra floors
just to keep talking to her.
882
00:35:21,661 --> 00:35:22,822
- Nine extra floors.
883
00:35:26,374 --> 00:35:29,867
(somber piano music)
884
00:35:29,878 --> 00:35:32,495
(phone ringing)
885
00:35:34,424 --> 00:35:35,664
- [Sally Voiceover] Hello?
886
00:35:35,675 --> 00:35:37,086
- [Harry Voiceover] You sleeping?
887
00:35:37,093 --> 00:35:38,800
- [Sally Voiceover] No, I
was watching "Casablanca."
888
00:35:38,803 --> 00:35:39,918
- [Harry Voiceover] Channel, please.
889
00:35:39,929 --> 00:35:40,760
- [Sally Voiceover] 11.
890
00:35:40,764 --> 00:35:41,799
- [Harry Voiceover] Thank you.
891
00:35:41,806 --> 00:35:42,841
Got it.
892
00:35:42,849 --> 00:35:45,386
Now you're telling me you will
be happier with Victor Laszlo
893
00:35:45,393 --> 00:35:46,975
than with Humphrey Bogart?
894
00:35:46,978 --> 00:35:48,139
- [Sally Voiceover] When did I say that?
895
00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:50,228
- [Harry Voiceover] When
we drove to New York.
896
00:35:50,231 --> 00:35:51,221
- [Sally Voiceover] I never said that.
897
00:35:51,232 --> 00:35:52,438
I would have never have said that.
898
00:35:52,442 --> 00:35:54,562
- [Harry Voiceover] All
right, fine, have it your way.
899
00:35:56,613 --> 00:35:57,944
Have you been sleeping?
900
00:35:57,947 --> 00:35:58,778
- [Sally Voiceover] Why?
901
00:35:58,782 --> 00:36:01,023
- [Harry Voiceover] Because
I haven't been sleeping.
902
00:36:01,034 --> 00:36:02,115
I really miss Helen.
903
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,827
Maybe I'm coming down with something.
904
00:36:05,830 --> 00:36:07,286
Last night I was up at four in the morning
905
00:36:07,290 --> 00:36:09,577
watching "Leave it to Beaver" in Spanish.
906
00:36:09,584 --> 00:36:13,623
(Harry speaking Spanish)
907
00:36:13,630 --> 00:36:14,916
I'm not well.
908
00:36:14,923 --> 00:36:17,005
- [Sally Voiceover] Well I
went to bed at 7:30 last night.
909
00:36:17,008 --> 00:36:18,840
I haven't don't that
since the third grade.
910
00:36:18,843 --> 00:36:19,708
- [Harry Voiceover] Well
that's the good thing
911
00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:22,211
about depression, you get your rest.
912
00:36:22,222 --> 00:36:23,587
- [Sally Voiceover] I'm not depressed.
913
00:36:23,598 --> 00:36:25,635
- [Harry Voiceover] Okay, fine.
914
00:36:25,642 --> 00:36:28,225
Do you still sleep on
the same side of the bed?
915
00:36:28,228 --> 00:36:29,059
- [Sally Voiceover] I did for awhile
916
00:36:29,062 --> 00:36:31,178
but now I'm pretty much
using the whole bed.
917
00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:32,930
- [Harry Voiceover] God, that's great.
918
00:36:32,941 --> 00:36:35,148
I feel weird when just
my leg wanders over.
919
00:36:36,861 --> 00:36:37,861
I miss her.
920
00:36:39,072 --> 00:36:40,938
- [Sally Voiceover] I don't
miss him, I really don't.
921
00:36:40,949 --> 00:36:42,735
- [Harry Voiceover] Not even a little?
922
00:36:42,742 --> 00:36:44,983
- [Sally Voiceover] You know what I miss?
923
00:36:44,994 --> 00:36:46,860
I miss the idea of him.
924
00:36:48,915 --> 00:36:52,203
- [Harry Voiceover] Maybe I
only miss the idea of Helen.
925
00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:53,700
No, I miss the whole Helen.
926
00:36:58,049 --> 00:37:00,040
- [Sally Voiceover] Last scene.
927
00:37:00,051 --> 00:37:03,260
(television commotion)
928
00:37:06,641 --> 00:37:08,131
- [Harry] Oh, Ingrid Bergman,
929
00:37:08,143 --> 00:37:09,850
now she's low maintenance.
930
00:37:09,853 --> 00:37:11,014
- [Sally] Low maintenance?
931
00:37:11,020 --> 00:37:12,476
- [Harry] There are two kinds of women.
932
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,687
High maintenance and low maintenance.
933
00:37:14,691 --> 00:37:17,023
- And Ingrid Bergman is low maintenance?
934
00:37:17,026 --> 00:37:19,017
- An LM, definitely.
935
00:37:19,028 --> 00:37:20,314
- Which one am I?
936
00:37:20,321 --> 00:37:21,152
- You're the worst kind.
937
00:37:21,156 --> 00:37:21,987
You're high maintenance
938
00:37:21,990 --> 00:37:24,106
but you think you're low maintenance.
939
00:37:24,117 --> 00:37:24,948
- I don't see that.
940
00:37:24,951 --> 00:37:26,362
- You don't see that?
941
00:37:26,369 --> 00:37:27,985
"Waiter, I'll begin with a house salad,"
942
00:37:27,996 --> 00:37:29,452
"but I don't want the regular dressing."
943
00:37:29,456 --> 00:37:31,197
"I'll have the balsamic vinegar and oil,"
944
00:37:31,207 --> 00:37:32,038
"but on the side."
945
00:37:32,041 --> 00:37:33,531
"And then the salmon
with the mustard sauce,"
946
00:37:33,543 --> 00:37:35,705
"but I want the mustard
sauce on the side."
947
00:37:35,712 --> 00:37:37,749
"On the side" is a very big thing for you.
948
00:37:37,756 --> 00:37:39,747
- Well I just want it the way I want it.
949
00:37:39,758 --> 00:37:41,044
- I know, high maintenance.
950
00:37:41,968 --> 00:37:45,051
- About 10 thousand Francs
should pay our expenses.
951
00:37:45,054 --> 00:37:46,419
- [Rick] Our expenses?
952
00:37:46,431 --> 00:37:47,296
- [Louie] Mhmm.
953
00:37:47,307 --> 00:37:49,765
- [Rick] Louie, I think
this is the beginning
954
00:37:49,768 --> 00:37:51,133
of a beautiful friendship.
955
00:37:52,896 --> 00:37:55,058
- [Harry] Best last line of a movie ever.
956
00:37:56,691 --> 00:37:57,691
- Hmmmm.
957
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,442
- I'm definitely coming
down with something.
958
00:38:01,446 --> 00:38:03,938
Probably a twenty four hour
tumor, they're going around.
959
00:38:03,948 --> 00:38:05,063
- You don't have a tumor.
960
00:38:05,074 --> 00:38:05,905
- How do you know?
961
00:38:05,909 --> 00:38:08,401
- If you're so worried, go see a doctor.
962
00:38:08,411 --> 00:38:10,368
- No, they'll just tell me it's nothing.
963
00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:12,575
- Will you be able to sleep?
964
00:38:12,582 --> 00:38:13,538
- If not, I'll be okay.
965
00:38:13,541 --> 00:38:15,532
- What'll you do?
966
00:38:15,543 --> 00:38:17,329
- I'll stay up and moan.
967
00:38:17,337 --> 00:38:19,453
Maybe I should practice now.
968
00:38:19,464 --> 00:38:21,580
(moaning)
969
00:38:25,595 --> 00:38:27,177
- Goodnight, Harry.
970
00:38:27,180 --> 00:38:28,295
(moaning)
971
00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:29,306
- Goodnight.
972
00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:34,809
(television commotion)
973
00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:37,521
(Harry groaning)
974
00:39:04,801 --> 00:39:06,041
(pleasant music)
975
00:39:06,052 --> 00:39:07,383
I had my dream again,
976
00:39:07,387 --> 00:39:10,254
where I'm making love and the
Olympic judges are watching.
977
00:39:10,265 --> 00:39:13,007
I've nailed the compulsories
so this is it, the finals.
978
00:39:13,017 --> 00:39:14,348
I got a nine eight from the Canadian,
979
00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:16,764
a perfect ten from the American,
980
00:39:16,771 --> 00:39:18,808
and my mother, disguised
as a East German judge,
981
00:39:18,815 --> 00:39:20,431
gave me a five six.
982
00:39:20,441 --> 00:39:21,681
Must've been the dismount.
983
00:39:23,152 --> 00:39:24,233
- [Sally] Well basically it's the same one
984
00:39:24,237 --> 00:39:26,228
I've been having since I was 12.
985
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:27,070
- What happens?
986
00:39:27,073 --> 00:39:29,110
- It's too embarrassing.
987
00:39:29,117 --> 00:39:30,278
- Don't tell me.
988
00:39:30,285 --> 00:39:31,775
- Okay, there's this guy.
989
00:39:31,786 --> 00:39:33,276
- What's he look like?
990
00:39:33,288 --> 00:39:34,904
- I don't know, he's just kinda faceless.
991
00:39:34,914 --> 00:39:36,951
- A faceless guy, okay, then what?
992
00:39:38,793 --> 00:39:41,000
- He rips off my clothes.
993
00:39:41,004 --> 00:39:43,041
- Then what happens?
994
00:39:43,047 --> 00:39:44,047
- That's it.
995
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:47,256
- That's it?
996
00:39:47,260 --> 00:39:48,876
A faceless guy rips off your clothes
997
00:39:48,887 --> 00:39:50,423
and that's the sex
fantasies you've been having
998
00:39:50,430 --> 00:39:51,841
since you were 12.
999
00:39:51,848 --> 00:39:53,384
Exactly the same.
1000
00:39:53,391 --> 00:39:56,099
- Well sometimes I vary it a little.
1001
00:39:56,102 --> 00:39:57,012
- Which part?
1002
00:39:57,020 --> 00:39:58,020
- What I'm wearing.
1003
00:39:58,938 --> 00:40:01,646
(pleasant music)
1004
00:40:03,776 --> 00:40:04,891
What?
1005
00:40:04,903 --> 00:40:05,903
- Nothing.
1006
00:40:08,114 --> 00:40:11,527
I have decided that
for the rest of the day
1007
00:40:11,534 --> 00:40:14,526
we are going to talk like this.
1008
00:40:14,537 --> 00:40:15,368
- [Sally] Like this?
1009
00:40:15,371 --> 00:40:18,079
- [Harry] No. Please, to repeat after me.
1010
00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:18,913
Pepper.
1011
00:40:18,917 --> 00:40:19,748
- [Sally] Pepper.
1012
00:40:19,751 --> 00:40:20,582
- [Harry] Pepper.
1013
00:40:20,585 --> 00:40:21,416
- Pepper.
- Pepper.
1014
00:40:21,419 --> 00:40:22,250
- Pepper.
- Pepper.
1015
00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:26,338
- Waiter, there is too much
pepper on my paprikash.
1016
00:40:26,341 --> 00:40:27,172
(laughing)
1017
00:40:27,175 --> 00:40:28,916
- "Waiter, there is too much pepper."
1018
00:40:28,927 --> 00:40:29,962
- On my paprikash.
1019
00:40:29,969 --> 00:40:30,879
- "On my paprikash."
1020
00:40:30,887 --> 00:40:34,801
- But I would be proud to
partake of your pecan pie.
1021
00:40:34,807 --> 00:40:35,638
(laughing)
1022
00:40:35,642 --> 00:40:36,632
- Oh no.
1023
00:40:36,643 --> 00:40:37,474
- But I would be proud.
1024
00:40:37,477 --> 00:40:38,808
- "But I would be proud."
1025
00:40:38,811 --> 00:40:39,892
- To partake.
- "To partake"
1026
00:40:39,896 --> 00:40:41,978
- Of your pecan pie.
1027
00:40:41,981 --> 00:40:44,222
- "Of your pecan pie."
- Pecan pie.
1028
00:40:44,233 --> 00:40:46,270
- "Pecan pie."
- Pecan pie.
1029
00:40:46,277 --> 00:40:47,733
- "Pecan pie."
1030
00:40:47,737 --> 00:40:48,772
(laughing)
1031
00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:51,021
- Would you like to go to
the movies with me tonight?
1032
00:40:51,032 --> 00:40:52,648
- "Would you like to go, what?"
1033
00:40:52,659 --> 00:40:53,490
- Not to repeat.
1034
00:40:53,493 --> 00:40:54,904
Please, to answer.
1035
00:40:54,911 --> 00:40:58,529
Would you like to go to
the movies with me tonight?
1036
00:40:58,539 --> 00:41:00,746
- Oh, oh.
1037
00:41:00,750 --> 00:41:02,832
Oh, I'd love to Harry but I can't.
1038
00:41:02,835 --> 00:41:06,044
- What do you have, a hot date?
1039
00:41:06,047 --> 00:41:07,958
- Well, yeah, yeah.
1040
00:41:07,966 --> 00:41:08,797
- Really?
1041
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:09,585
- Yeah.
1042
00:41:09,592 --> 00:41:11,879
I was gonna tell you
about it but I don't know,
1043
00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:13,001
I felt strange about it.
1044
00:41:13,012 --> 00:41:13,843
- Why?
1045
00:41:13,846 --> 00:41:15,132
- Well because we've been
spending so much time together.
1046
00:41:15,139 --> 00:41:18,302
- Oh, I think it's great
that you have a date.
1047
00:41:18,309 --> 00:41:19,140
- You do?
1048
00:41:19,143 --> 00:41:20,143
- Yeah.
1049
00:41:27,110 --> 00:41:28,521
Is that what you're gonna wear?
1050
00:41:28,528 --> 00:41:29,939
- Yeah.
1051
00:41:29,946 --> 00:41:32,108
Well, I don't know.
1052
00:41:32,115 --> 00:41:33,605
Why?
1053
00:41:33,616 --> 00:41:35,323
- I think you should wear skirts more.
1054
00:41:35,326 --> 00:41:37,363
You look really good in skirts.
1055
00:41:37,370 --> 00:41:38,370
- I do?
- Yeah.
1056
00:41:41,624 --> 00:41:43,035
You know, I have a
theory that Hieroglyphics
1057
00:41:43,042 --> 00:41:44,498
are really an ancient comic strip
1058
00:41:44,502 --> 00:41:46,709
about a character named Sphinxie.
1059
00:41:46,713 --> 00:41:48,795
- You know, Harry, I think
you should get out there too.
1060
00:41:48,798 --> 00:41:50,380
- Oh, I'm not ready.
1061
00:41:50,383 --> 00:41:51,714
- You should.
1062
00:41:51,718 --> 00:41:54,085
- I would not be good
for anybody right now.
1063
00:41:54,095 --> 00:41:55,095
- It's time.
1064
00:41:56,180 --> 00:41:59,423
- It was the most
uncomfortable night of my life.
1065
00:41:59,434 --> 00:42:01,050
- See, no, it has to go this way.
1066
00:42:02,687 --> 00:42:05,645
The first date back is
always the toughest, Harry.
1067
00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:06,888
- You only had one date.
1068
00:42:07,817 --> 00:42:10,024
How do you know it's not gonna get worse?
1069
00:42:10,028 --> 00:42:12,235
- How much worse can it
get than finishing dinner,
1070
00:42:12,238 --> 00:42:14,479
having him reaching over,
pull a hair out of my head
1071
00:42:14,490 --> 00:42:16,902
and starts flossing with it at the table?
1072
00:42:16,909 --> 00:42:19,867
- We're talking dream date
compared to my horror.
1073
00:42:19,871 --> 00:42:21,703
It started out fine.
1074
00:42:21,706 --> 00:42:23,617
She's a very nice person.
1075
00:42:23,624 --> 00:42:24,739
And we're sitting and we're talking
1076
00:42:24,751 --> 00:42:27,083
in this Ethiopian restaurant
that she wanted to go to.
1077
00:42:27,086 --> 00:42:28,793
And I was making jokes, you know like,
1078
00:42:28,796 --> 00:42:30,878
"Hey, I didn't know that
they had food in Ethiopia?"
1079
00:42:30,882 --> 00:42:31,997
"This will be a quick meal."
1080
00:42:32,008 --> 00:42:34,090
"I'll order two empty
plates and we can leave."
1081
00:42:34,093 --> 00:42:34,924
(laughing)
1082
00:42:34,927 --> 00:42:37,259
- Yeah, nothing from
her, not even a smile.
1083
00:42:37,263 --> 00:42:39,345
So I down shift into small talk,
1084
00:42:39,348 --> 00:42:40,429
and I asked her where she went to school
1085
00:42:40,433 --> 00:42:42,265
and she says Michigan State.
1086
00:42:42,268 --> 00:42:44,179
And this reminds me of Helen.
1087
00:42:44,187 --> 00:42:46,428
All of a sudden, I'm in
the middle of this mess
1088
00:42:46,439 --> 00:42:48,806
of an anxiety attack, my
heart's beating like a wild man
1089
00:42:48,816 --> 00:42:50,602
and I start sweating like a pig.
1090
00:42:50,610 --> 00:42:51,816
- Helen went to Michigan State?
1091
00:42:51,819 --> 00:42:53,526
- No, she went to Northwestern.
1092
00:42:53,529 --> 00:42:55,065
But they're both Big 10 schools.
1093
00:42:56,032 --> 00:42:58,740
I got so upset, I had
to leave the restaurant.
1094
00:42:58,743 --> 00:43:01,201
(Sally sighing)
1095
00:43:01,204 --> 00:43:03,662
- Harry, I think this takes a long time.
1096
00:43:03,664 --> 00:43:05,996
It might be months before
we're actually able to enjoy
1097
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,037
going out with someone new.
1098
00:43:08,044 --> 00:43:08,954
- Yeah.
1099
00:43:08,961 --> 00:43:10,042
- And maybe longer
1100
00:43:10,046 --> 00:43:12,504
before we're actually able to
go to bed with someone new.
1101
00:43:12,507 --> 00:43:16,421
- Oh, I went to bed with her.
1102
00:43:16,427 --> 00:43:17,542
- You went to bed with her?
1103
00:43:17,553 --> 00:43:18,553
- Sure.
1104
00:43:20,098 --> 00:43:21,213
- Huh.
1105
00:43:21,224 --> 00:43:24,182
(machinery buzzing)
1106
00:43:25,228 --> 00:43:27,014
- [Jess] I don't understand
this relationship.
1107
00:43:27,021 --> 00:43:28,182
- What do you mean?
1108
00:43:28,189 --> 00:43:29,099
- You enjoy being with her?
1109
00:43:29,107 --> 00:43:29,972
- Yeah.
1110
00:43:29,982 --> 00:43:31,097
- You find her attractive?
1111
00:43:31,109 --> 00:43:32,144
- Yeah.
1112
00:43:32,151 --> 00:43:33,107
- And you're not sleeping with her.
1113
00:43:33,111 --> 00:43:34,272
- No.
1114
00:43:34,278 --> 00:43:36,895
- You're afraid to let yourself be happy.
1115
00:43:36,906 --> 00:43:38,647
- Why can't you give me credit for this?
1116
00:43:38,658 --> 00:43:40,399
This is a big thing for me.
1117
00:43:40,409 --> 00:43:41,991
I never had a relationship with a woman
1118
00:43:41,994 --> 00:43:43,075
that didn't involve sex.
1119
00:43:43,079 --> 00:43:44,114
I feel like I'm growing.
1120
00:43:44,122 --> 00:43:46,159
- [Kid] Are you finished?
1121
00:43:46,165 --> 00:43:47,906
- Hey, I got a whole stack of
quarters and I was here first.
1122
00:43:47,917 --> 00:43:49,123
- Were not!
- Was too!
1123
00:43:49,127 --> 00:43:50,367
- Were not!
- Was too!
1124
00:43:51,295 --> 00:43:52,501
- Big jerk.
1125
00:43:52,505 --> 00:43:53,961
- Little creep.
1126
00:43:53,965 --> 00:43:54,796
Where was I?
1127
00:43:54,799 --> 00:43:56,085
- You were growing.
1128
00:43:56,092 --> 00:43:57,708
- Yeah.
1129
00:43:57,718 --> 00:43:59,425
It's very freeing.
1130
00:43:59,428 --> 00:44:00,668
I can say anything to her.
1131
00:44:01,597 --> 00:44:03,053
- Are you saying you can say things to her
1132
00:44:03,057 --> 00:44:04,057
you can't say to me?
1133
00:44:04,934 --> 00:44:06,220
- No, it's just different.
1134
00:44:06,227 --> 00:44:07,843
It's a whole different perspective.
1135
00:44:07,854 --> 00:44:09,970
I get the women's point of view on things.
1136
00:44:09,981 --> 00:44:11,847
She tells me about the
men that she goes out with
1137
00:44:11,858 --> 00:44:13,895
and I can talk to her
about the women that I see.
1138
00:44:13,901 --> 00:44:15,107
- You tell her about other women.
1139
00:44:15,111 --> 00:44:16,146
- Yeah.
1140
00:44:16,154 --> 00:44:16,985
Like the other night.
1141
00:44:16,988 --> 00:44:19,946
I made love to this woman,
and it was so incredible,
1142
00:44:19,949 --> 00:44:21,656
I took her to a place that wasn't human,
1143
00:44:21,659 --> 00:44:22,774
she actually meowed.
1144
00:44:23,786 --> 00:44:25,117
- You made a woman meow?
1145
00:44:25,121 --> 00:44:26,452
- Yeah, that's the point.
1146
00:44:26,455 --> 00:44:28,446
I can say these things to her.
1147
00:44:28,457 --> 00:44:30,414
And the great thing
is, I don't have to lie
1148
00:44:30,418 --> 00:44:31,624
because I'm not always thinking about
1149
00:44:31,627 --> 00:44:32,913
how to get her into bed.
1150
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,036
I can just be myself.
1151
00:44:35,047 --> 00:44:36,333
- You made a woman meow?
1152
00:44:38,467 --> 00:44:39,377
- [Sally] So what do
you do with these women?
1153
00:44:39,385 --> 00:44:41,342
You just get up out of bed and leave?
1154
00:44:41,345 --> 00:44:42,380
- [Harry] Sure.
1155
00:44:42,388 --> 00:44:43,799
- Well explain to me how you do it.
1156
00:44:43,806 --> 00:44:44,841
What do you say?
1157
00:44:44,849 --> 00:44:46,556
- Just say I have an early
meeting, early haircut,
1158
00:44:46,559 --> 00:44:47,515
early squash game.
1159
00:44:47,518 --> 00:44:48,599
- You don't play squash.
1160
00:44:48,603 --> 00:44:50,310
- They don't know that, they just met me.
1161
00:44:52,064 --> 00:44:52,895
- That's disgusting.
1162
00:44:52,899 --> 00:44:53,939
- I know, I feel terrible.
1163
00:44:54,942 --> 00:44:57,479
- You know, I'm so glad I
never got involved with you.
1164
00:44:57,486 --> 00:44:59,068
I just would've ended being some woman
1165
00:44:59,071 --> 00:45:00,311
you had to get up out of bed and leave
1166
00:45:00,323 --> 00:45:03,065
at three o'clock in the morning
and go clean your andirons
1167
00:45:03,075 --> 00:45:04,782
and you don't even have a fireplace,
1168
00:45:04,785 --> 00:45:06,367
not that I would know this.
1169
00:45:06,370 --> 00:45:07,531
- Why are you getting so upset?
1170
00:45:07,538 --> 00:45:08,778
This is not about you.
1171
00:45:08,789 --> 00:45:09,904
- Yes it is.
1172
00:45:09,916 --> 00:45:13,125
You are a human affront to
all women and I am a woman.
1173
00:45:13,127 --> 00:45:13,958
- Hey, I don't feel great about this
1174
00:45:13,961 --> 00:45:16,202
but I don't hear anyone complaining.
1175
00:45:16,214 --> 00:45:19,002
- Of course not, you're
out the door too fast.
1176
00:45:19,008 --> 00:45:21,340
- I think they have an okay time.
1177
00:45:21,344 --> 00:45:23,176
- How do you know?
1178
00:45:23,179 --> 00:45:25,466
- What do you mean how do I know? I know.
1179
00:45:25,473 --> 00:45:27,055
- Because they?
1180
00:45:27,058 --> 00:45:28,514
- Yes, because they.
1181
00:45:30,019 --> 00:45:32,181
- How do you know that they're really?
1182
00:45:32,188 --> 00:45:35,522
- What are you saying,
that they fake orgasm?
1183
00:45:35,524 --> 00:45:36,855
- It's possible.
1184
00:45:36,859 --> 00:45:37,940
- Get outta here.
1185
00:45:37,944 --> 00:45:38,775
- Why?
1186
00:45:38,778 --> 00:45:41,486
Most women, at one time
or another, have faked it.
1187
00:45:41,489 --> 00:45:43,105
- Well they haven't faked it with me.
1188
00:45:43,115 --> 00:45:44,115
- How do you know?
1189
00:45:45,618 --> 00:45:46,983
- Because I know.
1190
00:45:48,829 --> 00:45:50,319
- Oh.
1191
00:45:50,331 --> 00:45:52,197
Right, that's right.
1192
00:45:52,208 --> 00:45:54,666
I forgot, you're a man.
1193
00:45:54,669 --> 00:45:55,784
- What does that supposed to me?
1194
00:45:55,795 --> 00:45:56,785
- Nothing.
1195
00:45:56,796 --> 00:45:58,753
It's just that all men are
sure it never happened to them
1196
00:45:58,756 --> 00:46:00,212
and that most women,
at one time or another,
1197
00:46:00,216 --> 00:46:01,832
have done it, so you do the math.
1198
00:46:03,010 --> 00:46:05,718
- You don't think that I
could tell the difference?
1199
00:46:05,721 --> 00:46:06,586
- No.
1200
00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:08,053
- Get out of here.
1201
00:46:14,939 --> 00:46:17,522
- Oh.
1202
00:46:17,525 --> 00:46:18,525
Oh.
1203
00:46:20,403 --> 00:46:21,403
Ooh.
1204
00:46:23,030 --> 00:46:24,030
- Are you okay?
1205
00:46:24,865 --> 00:46:25,865
- Oh.
1206
00:46:28,577 --> 00:46:30,159
Oh, God.
1207
00:46:31,414 --> 00:46:33,325
Ooh, oh God.
1208
00:46:34,292 --> 00:46:35,292
Oh.
1209
00:46:36,460 --> 00:46:37,460
Ah.
1210
00:46:38,587 --> 00:46:40,794
Oh.
1211
00:46:40,798 --> 00:46:43,506
Oh, God.
1212
00:46:43,509 --> 00:46:44,590
Oh yeah, right there.
1213
00:46:45,511 --> 00:46:47,798
(gasping)
1214
00:46:47,805 --> 00:46:49,091
Oh.
1215
00:46:49,098 --> 00:46:50,509
Ah.
1216
00:46:50,516 --> 00:46:51,881
Oh.
1217
00:46:51,892 --> 00:46:53,382
Oh, God.
1218
00:46:53,394 --> 00:46:54,394
Oh, yes!
1219
00:46:55,146 --> 00:46:56,146
Yes! Yes!
1220
00:46:57,189 --> 00:46:58,554
Yes! Yes!
1221
00:46:58,566 --> 00:47:00,056
Yes! Yes!
1222
00:47:00,067 --> 00:47:02,274
(gasping)
1223
00:47:02,278 --> 00:47:03,734
Oh, yes, yes, yes!
1224
00:47:05,865 --> 00:47:07,071
Oh!
1225
00:47:07,074 --> 00:47:10,192
Yes! Yes! Yes!
(thudding)
1226
00:47:10,202 --> 00:47:11,317
Yes! Yes! Yes!
1227
00:47:12,663 --> 00:47:13,663
Oh, oh.
1228
00:47:14,832 --> 00:47:16,743
Oh.
1229
00:47:16,751 --> 00:47:17,751
Oh, God.
1230
00:47:18,669 --> 00:47:19,669
Oh.
1231
00:47:28,554 --> 00:47:30,670
- I'll have what she's having.
1232
00:47:30,681 --> 00:47:32,092
("Winder Wonderland" by Ray Charles)
1233
00:47:32,099 --> 00:47:36,889
♪ Sleigh bells ring, are you list'nin' ♪
1234
00:47:36,896 --> 00:47:41,311
♪ In the lane, snow is glist'nin' ♪
1235
00:47:41,317 --> 00:47:43,604
♪ A beautiful sight ♪
1236
00:47:43,611 --> 00:47:45,898
♪ We're happy tonight ♪
1237
00:47:45,905 --> 00:47:49,273
♪ Walkin' in a winter wonderland ♪
1238
00:47:49,283 --> 00:47:53,402
♪ Gone away is the bluebird ♪
1239
00:47:53,412 --> 00:47:55,744
♪ Here to stay ♪
1240
00:47:55,748 --> 00:47:59,082
♪ Is a new bird ♪
1241
00:47:59,085 --> 00:48:02,794
♪ He sings a love song as we go along I
1242
00:48:02,797 --> 00:48:07,086
♪ Walkin' in a winter wonderland ♪
1243
00:48:07,093 --> 00:48:11,508
♪ In a meadow we can build a snowman ♪
1244
00:48:11,514 --> 00:48:15,849
♪ And pretend that he is Parson Brown ♪
1245
00:48:15,851 --> 00:48:17,592
♪ He'll say, are you married ♪
1246
00:48:17,603 --> 00:48:20,095
♪ We'll say, no, man ♪
1247
00:48:20,106 --> 00:48:24,065
♪ But you can do the job when
you're in town, brother ♪
1248
00:48:24,068 --> 00:48:26,184
♪ Later on J”
1249
00:48:26,195 --> 00:48:29,529
♪ We'll conspire ♪
1250
00:48:29,532 --> 00:48:33,196
I As we dream by the fire ♪
1251
00:48:33,202 --> 00:48:37,662
♪ To face unafraid the
plans that we made I
1252
00:48:37,665 --> 00:48:41,124
♪ Walkin' in a winter wonderland ♪
1253
00:48:41,127 --> 00:48:42,242
(popping)
1254
00:48:42,253 --> 00:48:45,666
♪ If they asked me ♪
1255
00:48:45,673 --> 00:48:49,883
♪ I could write a book ♪
1256
00:48:49,885 --> 00:48:52,718
♪ About the way you walk ♪
1257
00:48:52,721 --> 00:48:54,553
I And whisper and look ♪
1258
00:48:54,557 --> 00:48:56,594
- I like you without your
beard, you can see your face.
1259
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:58,182
- Hey, there's my face.
1260
00:48:58,185 --> 00:48:59,846
(laughing)
1261
00:48:59,854 --> 00:49:00,685
- Dipping you.
1262
00:49:00,688 --> 00:49:01,688
- Oh!
1263
00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:06,812
I really wanna thank you
for taking me out tonight.
1264
00:49:06,819 --> 00:49:07,900
- Oh, don't be silly.
1265
00:49:07,903 --> 00:49:09,519
The next New Year's Eve,
if neither one of us
1266
00:49:09,530 --> 00:49:12,022
is with anybody, you got a date.
1267
00:49:12,032 --> 00:49:13,032
- Deal.
1268
00:49:14,952 --> 00:49:16,784
See, now we can dance cheek to cheek.
1269
00:49:19,123 --> 00:49:20,123
Mmmm.
1270
00:49:20,875 --> 00:49:23,412
♪ Is just to tell them I
1271
00:49:23,419 --> 00:49:28,289
♪ That I love you a lot ♪
1272
00:49:28,299 --> 00:49:33,044
♪ Then the world discovers ♪
1273
00:49:33,053 --> 00:49:36,796
I As my book ends ♪
1274
00:49:36,807 --> 00:49:41,176
♪ How to make two lovers ♪
1275
00:49:41,187 --> 00:49:43,849
♪ Of friends ♪
1276
00:49:43,856 --> 00:49:44,721
- [Man] Hey, everybody!
1277
00:49:44,732 --> 00:49:47,315
10 seconds to New Years!
1278
00:49:47,318 --> 00:49:48,228
10!
1279
00:49:48,235 --> 00:49:49,771
- Wanna get some air?
1280
00:49:49,778 --> 00:49:50,609
- Yeah.
1281
00:49:50,613 --> 00:49:51,899
- [Crowd] Six, five,
1282
00:49:51,906 --> 00:49:52,862
four,
1283
00:49:52,865 --> 00:49:54,151
three, two, one.
1284
00:49:55,534 --> 00:49:57,275
(cheering)
1285
00:49:57,286 --> 00:49:59,903
(horns honking)
1286
00:50:00,831 --> 00:50:02,742
- [Woman] Happy New Years!
1287
00:50:02,750 --> 00:50:04,957
(cheering)
1288
00:50:06,045 --> 00:50:09,788
♪ Should old acquaintance he forgot ♪
1289
00:50:09,798 --> 00:50:14,759
I And never brought to mind ♪
1290
00:50:15,387 --> 00:50:19,176
♪ Should old acquaintance he forgot ♪
1291
00:50:19,183 --> 00:50:20,673
- [Both] Happy New Year.
1292
00:50:20,684 --> 00:50:25,224
♪ And old lang syne ♪
1293
00:50:28,359 --> 00:50:31,101
- Well, he was the head
counselor and the boys' camp
1294
00:50:31,111 --> 00:50:34,024
and I was the head counselor
at the girls' camp,
1295
00:50:34,031 --> 00:50:35,772
and they had a social one night,
1296
00:50:35,783 --> 00:50:37,990
and he walked across the room.
1297
00:50:37,993 --> 00:50:41,076
I thought he was coming to
talk to my friend, Maxine,
1298
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:44,072
'cause people were always
crossing rooms to talk to Maxine.
1299
00:50:45,042 --> 00:50:48,205
But he was coming to
talk to me, and he said...
1300
00:50:48,212 --> 00:50:51,125
- I'm Ben Small of the
Coney Island Smalls.
1301
00:50:51,131 --> 00:50:52,792
- At that moment I knew.
1302
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:54,916
I knew the way you know
about a good melon.
1303
00:50:57,638 --> 00:51:00,505
- You sent flowers to yourself.
1304
00:51:00,516 --> 00:51:02,757
- 60 dollars I spent on this big stupid
1305
00:51:02,768 --> 00:51:04,475
arrangement of flowers and I wrote a card
1306
00:51:04,478 --> 00:51:05,843
that I planned to leave on the front table
1307
00:51:05,854 --> 00:51:08,391
where Arthur would just happen to see it.
1308
00:51:08,399 --> 00:51:10,310
- What did the card say?
1309
00:51:10,317 --> 00:51:13,685
- "Please say yes, love, Johnathon."
1310
00:51:13,696 --> 00:51:14,606
- Did it work?
1311
00:51:14,613 --> 00:51:15,978
- He never even came over.
1312
00:51:15,990 --> 00:51:17,276
He forgot this charity thing
1313
00:51:17,283 --> 00:51:18,865
that his wife was a chairman of.
1314
00:51:18,867 --> 00:51:20,323
He's never going to leave her.
1315
00:51:20,327 --> 00:51:21,317
- Of course he isn't.
1316
00:51:21,328 --> 00:51:23,365
- You're right, you're
right, I knew you're right.
1317
00:51:23,372 --> 00:51:24,862
Where is this place?
1318
00:51:24,873 --> 00:51:26,614
- Somewhere on the next block.
1319
00:51:26,625 --> 00:51:27,615
(groaning)
1320
00:51:27,626 --> 00:51:29,458
- I can't believe I'm doing this.
1321
00:51:29,461 --> 00:51:31,668
- Look, Harry is one of my best friends
1322
00:51:31,672 --> 00:51:33,162
and you are one of my best friends
1323
00:51:33,173 --> 00:51:34,914
and if by some chance you two hit it off,
1324
00:51:34,925 --> 00:51:37,758
then we could all still be
friends instead of drifting apart
1325
00:51:37,761 --> 00:51:39,377
the way you do when you
get involved with someone
1326
00:51:39,388 --> 00:51:40,503
who doesn't know your friends.
1327
00:51:40,514 --> 00:51:41,754
- You and I haven't drifted apart
1328
00:51:41,765 --> 00:51:43,221
since I started seeing Arthur.
1329
00:51:44,935 --> 00:51:47,267
- If Arthur ever left his wife
1330
00:51:47,271 --> 00:51:48,602
and I actually met him,
1331
00:51:48,606 --> 00:51:51,268
I am sure that you and
I would drift apart.
1332
00:51:52,234 --> 00:51:54,521
- He's never gonna leave her.
1333
00:51:54,528 --> 00:51:55,528
- Of course he isn't.
1334
00:51:56,697 --> 00:51:58,938
- You're right, you're
right, I know you're right.
1335
00:51:58,949 --> 00:52:00,439
- I don't know about this.
1336
00:52:00,451 --> 00:52:01,612
- It's just a dinner.
1337
00:52:01,619 --> 00:52:03,201
- You know, I've finally gone
to a new place in my life
1338
00:52:03,203 --> 00:52:04,819
where I'm comfortable with the fact
1339
00:52:04,830 --> 00:52:06,992
that it's just me and my work.
1340
00:52:06,999 --> 00:52:08,581
If she's so great, why
aren't you taking her out?
1341
00:52:08,584 --> 00:52:10,120
- How many times do I have to tell you?
1342
00:52:10,127 --> 00:52:11,117
We're just friends.
1343
00:52:11,128 --> 00:52:12,368
- So you're saying she's
not that attractive.
1344
00:52:12,379 --> 00:52:13,995
- No, I told you she is attractive.
1345
00:52:14,006 --> 00:52:15,747
- Yeah but you also said
she has a good personality.
1346
00:52:15,758 --> 00:52:17,169
- She has a good personality.
1347
00:52:20,262 --> 00:52:21,377
What?
1348
00:52:21,388 --> 00:52:23,129
- When someone's not that attractive,
1349
00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:26,383
they're always described as
having a good personality.
1350
00:52:26,393 --> 00:52:28,259
- Look, if you would ask me,
"What does she look like?"
1351
00:52:28,270 --> 00:52:30,136
and I said, "She has a good personality."
1352
00:52:30,147 --> 00:52:31,683
That means she's not attractive.
1353
00:52:31,690 --> 00:52:33,146
But just because I happened to mention
1354
00:52:33,150 --> 00:52:35,687
that she has a good personality,
she could be either.
1355
00:52:35,694 --> 00:52:37,480
She could be attractive
with a good personality,
1356
00:52:37,488 --> 00:52:39,525
or not attractive with a good personality.
1357
00:52:39,531 --> 00:52:40,646
- So which one is she?
1358
00:52:40,658 --> 00:52:41,648
- Attractive.
1359
00:52:41,659 --> 00:52:43,024
- But not beautiful, right?
1360
00:52:46,664 --> 00:52:48,496
- It's like, whenever
I read Jimmy Breslin,
1361
00:52:48,499 --> 00:52:49,739
it's as if he's leaving
1362
00:52:51,210 --> 00:52:54,748
a wake-up call for the
City of New York, you know?
1363
00:52:54,755 --> 00:52:56,291
- What do you mean by a wake-up call?
1364
00:52:56,298 --> 00:52:57,298
- Well, he's saying.
1365
00:53:01,970 --> 00:53:05,463
- Would I have seen any of your windows?
1366
00:53:05,474 --> 00:53:08,842
- A couple of weeks ago, I
did a thing with hostages.
1367
00:53:08,852 --> 00:53:09,933
- People in blindfolds?
1368
00:53:09,937 --> 00:53:11,393
- Yeah.
1369
00:53:11,397 --> 00:53:12,887
I thought it was like late 80s.
1370
00:53:14,942 --> 00:53:16,398
- It's interesting.
1371
00:53:16,402 --> 00:53:19,440
- Let's just say I'm really
not a big fan of Jimmy Breslin.
1372
00:53:19,446 --> 00:53:21,403
- Well, he's the reason I become a writer
1373
00:53:21,407 --> 00:53:23,148
but that's not important.
1374
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:38,245
- Harry?
1375
00:53:38,257 --> 00:53:40,498
You and Marie are both from New Jersey.
1376
00:53:40,509 --> 00:53:41,340
- Really?
1377
00:53:41,343 --> 00:53:42,174
- Where are you from?
1378
00:53:42,177 --> 00:53:43,133
- South Orange.
1379
00:53:43,137 --> 00:53:44,093
- Haddonfield.
1380
00:53:44,096 --> 00:53:45,131
- Oh.
1381
00:53:51,770 --> 00:53:53,761
- So what're we gonna order?
1382
00:53:53,772 --> 00:53:56,184
- Well, I'm going to start
with the grilled riddichio.
1383
00:53:56,191 --> 00:53:57,773
- Jess, Sally is a great orderer.
1384
00:53:57,776 --> 00:53:59,642
Not only does she always pick
the best thing in the menu
1385
00:53:59,653 --> 00:54:01,690
but she orders it in a way that the chef
1386
00:54:01,697 --> 00:54:03,279
didn't even know how good it could be.
1387
00:54:03,282 --> 00:54:05,319
- I think restaurants
have become too important.
1388
00:54:05,325 --> 00:54:06,656
- I agree.
1389
00:54:06,660 --> 00:54:08,116
Restaurants are to people in the 805
1390
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:10,157
what theatre was to people in the 60s.
1391
00:54:11,039 --> 00:54:12,370
I read that in magazine.
1392
00:54:13,625 --> 00:54:14,625
- I wrote that.
1393
00:54:15,794 --> 00:54:16,625
- Get out of here.
1394
00:54:16,628 --> 00:54:18,710
- No, I did, I wrote that.
1395
00:54:18,714 --> 00:54:21,331
- I've never quoted anything
from a magazine in my life.
1396
00:54:21,341 --> 00:54:23,378
That's amazing, don't
you think that's amazing?
1397
00:54:23,385 --> 00:54:24,420
And you wrote it?
1398
00:54:25,763 --> 00:54:28,346
- I also wrote "Pesto is
the quiche of the 805."
1399
00:54:28,348 --> 00:54:30,259
- Get over yourself.
1400
00:54:30,267 --> 00:54:31,598
- I did.
1401
00:54:31,602 --> 00:54:32,888
- Where did I read that?
1402
00:54:32,895 --> 00:54:33,976
- New York Magazine.
1403
00:54:33,979 --> 00:54:36,516
- Sally writes for New York Magazine.
1404
00:54:36,523 --> 00:54:39,231
- You know that piece
had a real impact on me.
1405
00:54:39,234 --> 00:54:40,975
I don't know that much about writing but...
1406
00:54:40,986 --> 00:54:43,193
- It spoke to you and that pleases me.
1407
00:54:43,197 --> 00:54:46,110
- [Marie] You have to
admire people who can be
1408
00:54:46,116 --> 00:54:47,277
that articulate.
1409
00:54:47,284 --> 00:54:50,697
- [Jess] Nobody has ever
quoted me back to me before.
1410
00:55:00,297 --> 00:55:03,961
- Oh, I've been looking
for a red suede pump.
1411
00:55:06,094 --> 00:55:07,334
What do you think of Jess?
1412
00:55:09,348 --> 00:55:10,463
- Well.
1413
00:55:10,474 --> 00:55:12,260
- Do you think you could go out with him?
1414
00:55:13,644 --> 00:55:14,475
- I don't know.
1415
00:55:14,478 --> 00:55:16,640
- Because I feel really
comfortable with him.
1416
00:55:17,564 --> 00:55:19,305
- You wanna go out with Jess.
1417
00:55:19,316 --> 00:55:20,932
- If it would be all right with you.
1418
00:55:20,943 --> 00:55:21,943
- Sure, sure.
1419
00:55:22,861 --> 00:55:24,022
I'm just worried about Harry.
1420
00:55:24,029 --> 00:55:25,315
He's very sensitive,
1421
00:55:25,322 --> 00:55:26,653
he's going through a rough period
1422
00:55:26,657 --> 00:55:29,319
and I just don't want you
to reject him right now.
1423
00:55:29,326 --> 00:55:31,784
- I won't, I totally understand.
1424
00:55:31,787 --> 00:55:33,027
- If you don't think
you're going to call Marie,
1425
00:55:33,038 --> 00:55:35,279
do you mind if I call her?
1426
00:55:35,290 --> 00:55:36,906
- No, no.
- Good, good, good.
1427
00:55:36,917 --> 00:55:38,908
- But for tonight, you shouldn't.
1428
00:55:38,919 --> 00:55:40,751
I mean, Sally's very vulnerable right now.
1429
00:55:40,754 --> 00:55:42,461
I mean, you can call Marie, it's fine.
1430
00:55:42,464 --> 00:55:44,375
But just wait for a week or so, you know?
1431
00:55:44,383 --> 00:55:45,464
Don't make any moves tonight.
1432
00:55:45,467 --> 00:55:46,457
- Fine, no problem.
1433
00:55:46,468 --> 00:55:48,300
I wasn't even thinking about tonight.
1434
00:55:49,847 --> 00:55:52,214
- Well, I don't really feel
much like walking anymore.
1435
00:55:52,224 --> 00:55:53,555
I think I'll get a cab.
1436
00:55:53,559 --> 00:55:54,390
- I'll go with you.
1437
00:55:54,393 --> 00:55:55,224
- Great!
1438
00:55:55,227 --> 00:55:56,227
Taxi!
1439
00:56:08,282 --> 00:56:10,694
- A man came to me and said,
1440
00:56:10,701 --> 00:56:13,864
"I found nice girl for you."
1441
00:56:13,871 --> 00:56:17,455
"She lives in the next village,"
1442
00:56:18,375 --> 00:56:21,208
"and she is ready for marriage."
1443
00:56:22,796 --> 00:56:25,959
We were not suppose to
meet until the wedding
1444
00:56:27,175 --> 00:56:29,382
but I wanted to make sure.
1445
00:56:29,386 --> 00:56:31,718
So I sneak into her village,
1446
00:56:31,722 --> 00:56:33,838
hid behind a tree,
1447
00:56:33,849 --> 00:56:36,341
watch her washing the clothes.
1448
00:56:37,477 --> 00:56:41,471
I think if I don't like the way she looks,
1449
00:56:41,481 --> 00:56:43,472
I don't marry her.
1450
00:56:43,483 --> 00:56:45,315
But she look very nice to me.
1451
00:56:46,278 --> 00:56:48,986
So I said okay to the man.
1452
00:56:50,240 --> 00:56:51,901
We get married.
1453
00:56:51,909 --> 00:56:54,867
We married for 55 years.
1454
00:56:56,371 --> 00:56:59,329
(traffic commotion)
1455
00:57:02,044 --> 00:57:03,705
- I have to get this, I have to get this.
1456
00:57:03,712 --> 00:57:05,874
- Harry, we're here for Jess and Marie.
1457
00:57:05,881 --> 00:57:06,712
- I know, we'll find them something.
1458
00:57:06,715 --> 00:57:08,547
There's great stuff here.
1459
00:57:08,550 --> 00:57:09,881
- We should've gone to the plant store.
1460
00:57:09,885 --> 00:57:11,296
- Here, perfect for them.
1461
00:57:11,303 --> 00:57:13,260
- What's that?
1462
00:57:13,263 --> 00:57:16,176
- Battery operated pith helmet, with fan.
1463
00:57:16,183 --> 00:57:17,765
- Why is this necessary in life?
1464
00:57:17,768 --> 00:57:18,849
- I don't know.
1465
00:57:19,770 --> 00:57:22,432
Look at this, also makes great fries.
1466
00:57:22,439 --> 00:57:23,270
Uh oh.
1467
00:57:23,273 --> 00:57:24,104
Good.
1468
00:57:24,107 --> 00:57:26,269
Hold off the dogs, the hunt is over.
1469
00:57:26,276 --> 00:57:29,268
Sally, this is the greatest.
1470
00:57:29,279 --> 00:57:31,771
Sally, please report to me.
1471
00:57:31,782 --> 00:57:32,613
Look at this.
1472
00:57:32,616 --> 00:57:34,653
This is the greatest,
you're gonna love this.
1473
00:57:34,660 --> 00:57:36,276
This is a singing machine.
1474
00:57:36,286 --> 00:57:37,117
Look.
1475
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:40,112
You sing the lead and it has
the backup and everything.
1476
00:57:40,123 --> 00:57:41,033
This is from Oklahoma!
1477
00:57:41,041 --> 00:57:41,951
Here is the lyrics right here.
1478
00:57:41,959 --> 00:57:43,199
- "The Surrey with the Fringe on Top."
1479
00:57:43,210 --> 00:57:44,700
- Yes, perfect.
1480
00:57:44,711 --> 00:57:45,542
Oh.
1481
00:57:45,545 --> 00:57:47,536
(pleasant music)
1482
00:57:47,547 --> 00:57:50,414
♪ Chicks and ducks and
geese better scurry ♪
1483
00:57:50,425 --> 00:57:53,588
♪ When I take you out in my surrey ♪
1484
00:57:53,595 --> 00:57:56,303
♪ When I take you out in my surrey ♪
1485
00:57:56,306 --> 00:57:58,092
♪ With the fringe on top ♪
1486
00:57:58,100 --> 00:57:59,306
♪ Now you ♪
1487
00:57:59,309 --> 00:58:01,892
♪ Watch that fringe and
see how it flutters ♪
1488
00:58:01,895 --> 00:58:04,808
♪ When I drive them
high steppen strutters ♪
1489
00:58:04,815 --> 00:58:07,477
♪ Nosy pokes will peek
through their shutters ♪
1490
00:58:07,484 --> 00:58:09,896
♪ And their eyes will pop ♪
1491
00:58:09,903 --> 00:58:11,314
♪ The wheels are yellow ♪
1492
00:58:11,321 --> 00:58:12,777
♪ The upholstery's brown ♪
1493
00:58:12,781 --> 00:58:15,443
♪ The dashboard's genuine leather ♪
1494
00:58:15,450 --> 00:58:18,568
I With isinglass curtains you can roll ♪
1495
00:58:18,578 --> 00:58:19,578
- What?
1496
00:58:20,372 --> 00:58:21,203
It's my voice, isn't it?
1497
00:58:21,206 --> 00:58:23,618
I hate my voice.
1498
00:58:23,625 --> 00:58:25,366
I know, it's terrible, Joe hated...
1499
00:58:25,377 --> 00:58:27,209
- It's Helen.
1500
00:58:27,212 --> 00:58:28,212
- Helen?
1501
00:58:29,297 --> 00:58:31,504
- She's coming right towards me.
1502
00:58:31,508 --> 00:58:35,547
(pleasant karaoke machine music)
1503
00:58:39,599 --> 00:58:40,599
- How are you, Harry?
1504
00:58:41,810 --> 00:58:42,845
- Fine, I'm fine.
1505
00:58:44,980 --> 00:58:46,641
- This is Ira Stone.
1506
00:58:46,648 --> 00:58:47,854
Harry Burns.
1507
00:58:47,858 --> 00:58:48,858
- [Ira] Harry.
1508
00:58:49,735 --> 00:58:54,070
(pleasant karaoke machine music)
1509
00:58:54,072 --> 00:58:55,733
- I'm sorry, this is Sally Albright.
1510
00:58:55,741 --> 00:58:56,741
Helen Hillson
1511
00:58:57,576 --> 00:58:58,576
and Ira.
1512
00:58:59,619 --> 00:59:01,280
- Sally.
1513
00:59:01,288 --> 00:59:02,619
- Nice to meet you.
1514
00:59:02,622 --> 00:59:03,622
- Hi.
1515
00:59:06,877 --> 00:59:07,877
- Well,
1516
00:59:09,254 --> 00:59:10,540
see you.
1517
00:59:10,547 --> 00:59:11,547
- Yeah, bye.
1518
00:59:14,134 --> 00:59:15,545
Nice to meet you,
1519
00:59:15,552 --> 00:59:17,088
Ira.
1520
00:59:17,095 --> 00:59:21,635
(pleasant karaoke machine music)
1521
00:59:21,641 --> 00:59:22,641
- You okay?
1522
00:59:24,978 --> 00:59:25,978
- Yeah, I'm perfect.
1523
00:59:27,564 --> 00:59:28,770
She looked weird, didn't she?
1524
00:59:28,774 --> 00:59:31,061
She looked really weird,
she looked very weird.
1525
00:59:31,068 --> 00:59:32,229
- I've never seen her before.
1526
00:59:32,235 --> 00:59:33,396
- Trust me, she looked weird.
1527
00:59:33,403 --> 00:59:34,939
Her legs looked heavy.
1528
00:59:34,946 --> 00:59:36,357
Really, she must be retaining water.
1529
00:59:36,364 --> 00:59:37,195
- Harry.
1530
00:59:37,199 --> 00:59:38,839
- Believe me, the woman saved everything.
1531
00:59:42,746 --> 00:59:45,033
- [Sally] You sure you're okay?
1532
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:46,622
- Oh, I'm fine.
1533
00:59:46,625 --> 00:59:48,115
Look, it had to happen at some point,
1534
00:59:48,126 --> 00:59:49,332
in a city of eight million people,
1535
00:59:49,336 --> 00:59:50,622
you're bound to run into your ex-wife,
1536
00:59:50,629 --> 00:59:52,119
so, boom, it happened,
1537
00:59:52,130 --> 00:59:53,495
and now I'm fine.
1538
00:59:57,385 --> 00:59:59,126
- I like it, it works.
1539
00:59:59,137 --> 01:00:00,343
It says "home" to me.
1540
01:00:00,347 --> 01:00:01,337
- All right, all right.
1541
01:00:01,348 --> 01:00:03,259
Well let Harry and Sally be the judge.
1542
01:00:04,684 --> 01:00:05,684
What do you think?
1543
01:00:07,395 --> 01:00:08,226
- It's nice.
1544
01:00:08,230 --> 01:00:09,345
- Case closed.
1545
01:00:09,356 --> 01:00:11,848
- Of course he likes it, he's a guy.
1546
01:00:11,858 --> 01:00:12,858
Sally?
1547
01:00:15,570 --> 01:00:17,186
- [Jess] What's so awful about it?
1548
01:00:17,197 --> 01:00:19,188
- It's so awful there's no way to even
1549
01:00:19,199 --> 01:00:21,611
begin to explain what's so awful about it.
1550
01:00:21,618 --> 01:00:23,905
- Honey, I don't object
to any of your things.
1551
01:00:23,912 --> 01:00:24,902
- [Marie] If we had an extra room
1552
01:00:24,913 --> 01:00:27,371
you could put all of your things
including your bar stools.
1553
01:00:27,374 --> 01:00:28,489
- No, honey, wait, wait, wait,
1554
01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:29,331
honey, honey, wait, wait, wait.
1555
01:00:29,334 --> 01:00:30,950
You don't like my bar stools?
1556
01:00:32,295 --> 01:00:34,957
Harry, come on, someone
has to be on my side.
1557
01:00:34,965 --> 01:00:36,251
- I'm on your side,
1558
01:00:36,258 --> 01:00:37,840
I'm just trying to help
you have good taste.
1559
01:00:37,843 --> 01:00:40,460
- I have good taste!
1560
01:00:40,470 --> 01:00:42,381
- Everybody thinks they have good taste
1561
01:00:42,389 --> 01:00:43,220
and a sense of humor
1562
01:00:43,223 --> 01:00:45,089
"but they couldn't possibly
a" have good taste.
1563
01:00:45,100 --> 01:00:47,182
- You know, it's funny.
1564
01:00:47,185 --> 01:00:49,517
We started out like this, Helen and I.
1565
01:00:49,521 --> 01:00:51,262
We had blank walls, we hung things,
1566
01:00:51,273 --> 01:00:53,105
we picked out tiles together.
1567
01:00:53,108 --> 01:00:54,348
Then you know what happens?
1568
01:00:54,359 --> 01:00:56,020
Six years later, you find yourself singing
1569
01:00:56,027 --> 01:00:58,519
"Surrey With The Fringe
On Top" in front of Ira!
1570
01:00:59,906 --> 01:01:01,943
- Do we have to talk about this right now?
1571
01:01:01,950 --> 01:01:04,237
- Yes, I think that right now
actually is the perfect time
1572
01:01:04,244 --> 01:01:06,076
to talk about this
because I want our friends
1573
01:01:06,079 --> 01:01:08,821
to benefit from the
wisdom of my experience.
1574
01:01:08,832 --> 01:01:10,448
Right now everything is great,
1575
01:01:10,458 --> 01:01:12,415
everyone is happy, everyone is in love,
1576
01:01:12,419 --> 01:01:14,751
and that's wonderful but you gotta know
1577
01:01:14,754 --> 01:01:15,869
that sooner or later,
1578
01:01:15,881 --> 01:01:17,121
you're going to be screaming at each other
1579
01:01:17,132 --> 01:01:19,089
about who's gonna get this dish.
1580
01:01:19,092 --> 01:01:20,799
This eight dollar dish will cost you
1581
01:01:20,802 --> 01:01:22,292
a thousand dollars in phone calls
1582
01:01:22,304 --> 01:01:24,386
to the legal firm of
that's-mine-this-is-yours.
1583
01:01:24,389 --> 01:01:25,220
- [Sally] Harry.
1584
01:01:25,223 --> 01:01:26,463
- Please.
1585
01:01:26,474 --> 01:01:28,056
Jess, Marie,
1586
01:01:28,059 --> 01:01:29,891
do me a favor for your own good.
1587
01:01:29,895 --> 01:01:32,307
Put your name in your books right now
1588
01:01:32,314 --> 01:01:34,305
before they get mixed up and
you don't know who's is who's.
1589
01:01:34,316 --> 01:01:35,898
Because some day, believe it or not,
1590
01:01:35,901 --> 01:01:39,644
you'll go 15 rounds over who's
gonna get this coffee table.
1591
01:01:39,654 --> 01:01:42,021
This stupid, wagon wheel,
1592
01:01:42,032 --> 01:01:44,694
Roy Rogers garage sale coffee table!
1593
01:01:46,912 --> 01:01:48,619
- I thought you liked it.
1594
01:01:48,622 --> 01:01:50,238
- I was being nice!
1595
01:01:52,834 --> 01:01:54,950
(door thudding)
1596
01:01:54,961 --> 01:01:56,326
- He just bumped into Helen.
1597
01:02:04,679 --> 01:02:05,679
- I want you to know
1598
01:02:07,599 --> 01:02:11,012
that I never want that
wagon wheel coffee table.
1599
01:02:20,654 --> 01:02:22,736
- I know, I know, I
shouldn't have done it.
1600
01:02:23,823 --> 01:02:25,734
- Harry, you're gonna
have to try and find a way
1601
01:02:25,742 --> 01:02:28,575
of not expressing every
feeling that you have,
1602
01:02:28,578 --> 01:02:30,694
every moment that you have them.
1603
01:02:30,705 --> 01:02:32,321
- Oh really?
1604
01:02:32,332 --> 01:02:33,447
- Yes.
1605
01:02:33,458 --> 01:02:35,745
There are times and places for things.
1606
01:02:37,128 --> 01:02:38,789
- Well the next time you're
giving a lecture series
1607
01:02:38,797 --> 01:02:42,210
on social graces would you let
me know, 'cause I'll sign up.
1608
01:02:42,217 --> 01:02:43,217
- Hey.
1609
01:02:44,010 --> 01:02:46,001
You don't have to take
your anger out on me.
1610
01:02:46,012 --> 01:02:48,299
- Oh, I think I'm entitled to
throw a little anger your way,
1611
01:02:48,306 --> 01:02:50,718
especially when I'm being
told how to live my life
1612
01:02:50,725 --> 01:02:52,636
by Miss Hospital-Corners.
1613
01:02:52,644 --> 01:02:53,884
- What's that supposed to mean?
1614
01:02:53,895 --> 01:02:56,136
- I mean, nothing bothers you.
1615
01:02:56,147 --> 01:02:58,479
You never get upset about anything!
1616
01:02:58,483 --> 01:02:59,973
- Don't be ridiculous!
1617
01:02:59,985 --> 01:03:01,350
- What?
1618
01:03:01,361 --> 01:03:02,977
You never get upset about Joe.
1619
01:03:02,988 --> 01:03:04,524
I never see that back up on you.
1620
01:03:04,531 --> 01:03:05,896
How is that possible?
1621
01:03:05,907 --> 01:03:08,444
Don't you experience any feelings of loss?
1622
01:03:08,451 --> 01:03:10,283
- I don't have to take this crap from you!
1623
01:03:10,287 --> 01:03:12,824
- If you're so over Joe, why
aren't you seeing anyone?
1624
01:03:12,831 --> 01:03:14,117
- I see people!
1625
01:03:14,124 --> 01:03:14,955
- See people.
1626
01:03:14,958 --> 01:03:17,666
Have you slept with one person
since you broke up with Joe?
1627
01:03:17,669 --> 01:03:20,536
- What the hell does that
have to do with anything?
1628
01:03:20,547 --> 01:03:23,585
That will prove I'm over Joe,
because I fucked somebody?
1629
01:03:24,634 --> 01:03:26,500
Harry you're gonna have
to move back to New Jersey
1630
01:03:26,511 --> 01:03:28,343
because you've slept with
everybody in New York
1631
01:03:28,346 --> 01:03:29,677
and I don't see that turning Helen
1632
01:03:29,681 --> 01:03:31,217
into a faint memory for you!
1633
01:03:32,350 --> 01:03:34,091
Besides, I will make love to somebody
1634
01:03:34,102 --> 01:03:36,514
when it is "making love,"
not the way you do it
1635
01:03:36,521 --> 01:03:38,558
like you're out for revenge or something!
1636
01:03:40,025 --> 01:03:41,106
- Are you finished now?
1637
01:03:42,861 --> 01:03:43,861
- Yes.
1638
01:03:44,529 --> 01:03:45,610
- Can I say something?
1639
01:03:47,032 --> 01:03:48,032
- Yes.
1640
01:03:51,411 --> 01:03:53,277
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
1641
01:04:05,091 --> 01:04:06,206
- Don't say a word.
1642
01:04:11,097 --> 01:04:12,303
It's a monkey! It's a monkey!
1643
01:04:12,307 --> 01:04:14,173
Monkey see, monkey do!
1644
01:04:14,184 --> 01:04:15,174
It's an ape!
1645
01:04:15,185 --> 01:04:16,016
Going ape!
1646
01:04:16,019 --> 01:04:17,019
- It's a baby!
1647
01:04:17,729 --> 01:04:18,685
- [Jess] Planet of the Apes!
1648
01:04:18,688 --> 01:04:19,519
- Planet of the Apes?
1649
01:04:19,522 --> 01:04:20,353
She just said it's a baby.
1650
01:04:20,357 --> 01:04:21,222
How about "Planet of the Dopes?"
1651
01:04:21,232 --> 01:04:22,722
- It doesn't look like a baby.
1652
01:04:22,734 --> 01:04:23,690
- [Harry] Big mouth.
1653
01:04:23,693 --> 01:04:25,275
Mick Jagger as a baby.
1654
01:04:25,278 --> 01:04:26,234
- [Jess] Baby ape! Baby ape!
1655
01:04:26,237 --> 01:04:27,944
- [Harry] Stop with the
apes, would you please?
1656
01:04:27,947 --> 01:04:28,778
- [Alice] Baby's breath.
1657
01:04:28,782 --> 01:04:31,240
- Rosemary's Baby's Mouth.
1658
01:04:31,242 --> 01:04:32,448
Won't You Come Home, Bill Baby?
1659
01:04:32,452 --> 01:04:33,817
- Kiss the baby.
1660
01:04:33,828 --> 01:04:35,284
- Melancholy baby's mouth!
1661
01:04:35,288 --> 01:04:36,278
- Baby fish mouth!
1662
01:04:36,289 --> 01:04:37,779
Baby fish mouth!
1663
01:04:39,334 --> 01:04:40,495
- [Man] 15 seconds.
1664
01:04:40,502 --> 01:04:42,118
- [Alice] Baby boom.
1665
01:04:42,128 --> 01:04:43,459
- [Harry] Baby?
1666
01:04:43,463 --> 01:04:45,625
- [Jess] Draw something
resembling anything.
1667
01:04:46,508 --> 01:04:47,339
- Crying baby.
1668
01:04:47,342 --> 01:04:48,173
Kiss the baby.
1669
01:04:48,176 --> 01:04:49,007
- Baby spitting up.
1670
01:04:49,010 --> 01:04:50,626
Exorcist baby.
1671
01:04:50,637 --> 01:04:52,423
- [Alice] Yes sir, that's my baby.
1672
01:04:52,430 --> 01:04:54,137
- [Harry] No sir, don't mean maybe.
1673
01:04:54,140 --> 01:04:55,596
- [Man] That's it, time's up.
1674
01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:57,011
- Baby talk.
1675
01:04:57,018 --> 01:04:58,600
- Baby talk?
1676
01:04:58,603 --> 01:04:59,434
What's that?
1677
01:04:59,437 --> 01:05:00,268
That's not a saying.
1678
01:05:00,271 --> 01:05:02,854
- Oh but "baby fish mouth"
is sweeping the nation.
1679
01:05:02,857 --> 01:05:04,564
I hear them talking.
(laughing)
1680
01:05:04,567 --> 01:05:07,309
- Final score, our team 110,
1681
01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:09,027
you guys, 60.
1682
01:05:09,906 --> 01:05:11,772
- Fixed, definitely fixed.
1683
01:05:11,783 --> 01:05:13,023
- It's pathetic.
1684
01:05:13,034 --> 01:05:14,115
- I can't draw.
1685
01:05:14,119 --> 01:05:17,077
- No, that's a baby and
it's clearly talking.
1686
01:05:18,289 --> 01:05:19,289
You're wonderful.
1687
01:05:20,417 --> 01:05:22,124
- [Marie] All right, who wants coffee?
1688
01:05:22,127 --> 01:05:22,958
- [Jess] I do and I love you.
1689
01:05:22,961 --> 01:05:24,042
- [Alice] Do you have any tea?
1690
01:05:24,045 --> 01:05:24,876
- [Marie] One tea.
1691
01:05:24,879 --> 01:05:26,335
- Industrial strength.
1692
01:05:26,339 --> 01:05:27,454
- I'll help you.
1693
01:05:27,465 --> 01:05:28,296
De-caf?
1694
01:05:28,299 --> 01:05:29,299
- Yeah.
1695
01:05:31,761 --> 01:05:32,592
- [Alice] Cream.
1696
01:05:32,595 --> 01:05:33,460
- [Woman] Where's the bathroom?
1697
01:05:33,471 --> 01:05:35,053
- Through that door down the hall.
1698
01:05:36,349 --> 01:05:39,307
(somber jazz music)
1699
01:05:42,689 --> 01:05:44,521
- Never looked like a baby to me.
1700
01:05:44,524 --> 01:05:45,355
- Which part?
1701
01:05:45,358 --> 01:05:46,189
- All of it.
1702
01:05:46,192 --> 01:05:48,024
- Hey, Jess, you were gonna
show me the cover of your book.
1703
01:05:48,027 --> 01:05:49,643
- Oh yeah, yeah, it's in the den.
1704
01:05:49,654 --> 01:05:52,442
Look, Julian, help yourself.
Have some more wine.
1705
01:05:52,449 --> 01:05:54,235
Whatever you like, okay?
1706
01:05:54,242 --> 01:05:55,073
I like saying "It's in the den."
1707
01:05:55,076 --> 01:05:56,942
It's got a nice ring to it.
1708
01:05:56,953 --> 01:05:59,991
- Emily is a little young
for Harry, don't you think?
1709
01:05:59,998 --> 01:06:02,786
- Well she's young but
look what she's done.
1710
01:06:02,792 --> 01:06:03,702
- What has she done?
1711
01:06:03,710 --> 01:06:05,451
She makes desserts.
1712
01:06:05,462 --> 01:06:07,328
- Does Julian seem a little stuffy to you?
1713
01:06:07,338 --> 01:06:09,875
- He's a good guy, you should
talk to him, get to know him.
1714
01:06:09,883 --> 01:06:11,339
- He's too tall to talk to.
1715
01:06:11,342 --> 01:06:14,050
- She makes 35 hundred
chocolate mousse pies a week.
1716
01:06:16,055 --> 01:06:18,217
- Emily is "Aunt Emily?"
1717
01:06:18,224 --> 01:06:19,714
- He took us all to a Met game last week.
1718
01:06:19,726 --> 01:06:20,932
It was great.
1719
01:06:20,935 --> 01:06:22,767
- You all went to a Met game together?
1720
01:06:22,770 --> 01:06:23,601
- Yeah,
1721
01:06:23,605 --> 01:06:25,516
but it was a last minute thing.
1722
01:06:25,523 --> 01:06:26,934
- But Sally hates baseball.
1723
01:06:26,941 --> 01:06:28,932
- Harry doesn't even like sweets.
1724
01:06:28,943 --> 01:06:30,854
- Julian is great.
1725
01:06:32,197 --> 01:06:33,278
- I know.
1726
01:06:33,281 --> 01:06:34,237
He's a grownup.
1727
01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:35,526
- Emily is terrific.
1728
01:06:35,533 --> 01:06:36,568
- Yeah.
1729
01:06:36,576 --> 01:06:37,862
Of course, when I asked her where she was
1730
01:06:37,869 --> 01:06:40,531
when Kennedy was shot she
said, "Ted Kennedy was shot?"
1731
01:06:40,538 --> 01:06:41,538
- No.
1732
01:06:51,132 --> 01:06:53,419
(phone ringing)
1733
01:06:53,426 --> 01:06:54,257
- Hello.
1734
01:06:54,260 --> 01:06:55,625
- [Sally] Are you alone?
1735
01:06:55,637 --> 01:06:57,844
- Yeah, I was just finishing a book.
1736
01:06:57,847 --> 01:06:59,554
- [Sally] Could you come over?
1737
01:06:59,557 --> 01:07:01,013
- What's the matter?
1738
01:07:01,017 --> 01:07:02,849
- He's getting married.
1739
01:07:02,852 --> 01:07:04,434
- [Harry] Who?
1740
01:07:04,437 --> 01:07:05,437
- Joe!
1741
01:07:06,564 --> 01:07:07,599
- I'll be right there.
1742
01:07:11,236 --> 01:07:12,476
(sniffling)
1743
01:07:12,487 --> 01:07:13,773
- Hi.
1744
01:07:13,780 --> 01:07:14,815
- Are you all right?
1745
01:07:18,076 --> 01:07:19,076
- Come on in.
1746
01:07:21,412 --> 01:07:22,777
(crying)
1747
01:07:22,789 --> 01:07:24,530
I'm sorry to call you so late.
1748
01:07:24,541 --> 01:07:25,541
- It's all right.
1749
01:07:27,377 --> 01:07:28,833
- I need a Kleenex.
1750
01:07:28,836 --> 01:07:29,826
- Okay.
1751
01:07:29,837 --> 01:07:30,837
- Okay.
1752
01:07:31,631 --> 01:07:34,419
He just called me up,
"Wanted to see how you were."
1753
01:07:34,425 --> 01:07:36,086
"Fine, how are you?"
1754
01:07:36,094 --> 01:07:37,255
"Fine."
1755
01:07:37,262 --> 01:07:39,378
His secretary's on vacation,
1756
01:07:39,389 --> 01:07:40,879
everything's all backed up.
1757
01:07:40,890 --> 01:07:43,097
He's got a big case in New York.
1758
01:07:43,101 --> 01:07:44,101
Blah, blah, blah.
1759
01:07:45,979 --> 01:07:48,061
And I'm sitting on the phone thinking,
1760
01:07:48,064 --> 01:07:50,101
"I'm over him, I really am over him."
1761
01:07:50,108 --> 01:07:52,395
"I can't believe that I'd
ever be remotely interested"
1762
01:07:52,402 --> 01:07:53,813
"in any of that."
1763
01:07:54,988 --> 01:07:58,606
And then he said, "I have some news."
1764
01:07:58,616 --> 01:08:00,653
(crying)
1765
01:08:02,453 --> 01:08:05,161
She works in his office,
she's a paralegal.
1766
01:08:05,164 --> 01:08:07,121
Her name is Kimberley.
1767
01:08:07,125 --> 01:08:08,786
(sobbing)
1768
01:08:08,793 --> 01:08:10,784
He just met her!
1769
01:08:10,795 --> 01:08:13,662
She's suppose to be his
transitional person,
1770
01:08:13,673 --> 01:08:16,461
she's not suppose to be the one.
1771
01:08:16,467 --> 01:08:18,583
(sobbing)
1772
01:08:21,889 --> 01:08:24,506
All this time I've been saying
1773
01:08:24,517 --> 01:08:26,133
that he didn't want to get married
1774
01:08:28,062 --> 01:08:29,348
but the truth is,
1775
01:08:30,398 --> 01:08:31,854
he didn't want to marry me.
1776
01:08:36,321 --> 01:08:37,482
He didn't love me.
1777
01:08:40,617 --> 01:08:42,699
(sobbing)
1778
01:08:42,702 --> 01:08:45,319
- If you could take him
back right now, would you?
1779
01:08:45,330 --> 01:08:46,991
(sobbing)
1780
01:08:46,998 --> 01:08:47,998
- No!
1781
01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:52,538
But why didn't he want to marry me?
1782
01:08:52,545 --> 01:08:54,536
What's the matter with me?
1783
01:08:54,547 --> 01:08:55,787
- Nothing.
1784
01:08:55,798 --> 01:08:56,913
- I'm difficult.
1785
01:08:56,924 --> 01:08:58,255
- You're challenging.
1786
01:08:58,259 --> 01:09:01,092
- I'm too structured, I'm
completely closed off.
1787
01:09:01,095 --> 01:09:02,085
- But in a good way.
1788
01:09:02,096 --> 01:09:03,006
(sobbing)
1789
01:09:03,014 --> 01:09:06,006
- No, no, no, I drove him away!
1790
01:09:08,311 --> 01:09:09,927
And I'm gonna be 40.
1791
01:09:11,939 --> 01:09:13,600
- When?
1792
01:09:13,608 --> 01:09:14,814
- Someday.
1793
01:09:14,817 --> 01:09:16,478
- In eight years.
1794
01:09:16,486 --> 01:09:17,851
- But it's there.
1795
01:09:17,862 --> 01:09:21,275
It's just sitting there
like this big dead end.
1796
01:09:22,617 --> 01:09:25,075
And it's not the same for men.
1797
01:09:25,078 --> 01:09:28,366
Charlie Chaplin had babies when he was 73.
1798
01:09:28,373 --> 01:09:30,614
- Yeah but he was too old to pick them up.
1799
01:09:30,625 --> 01:09:33,117
(laughing)
1800
01:09:33,127 --> 01:09:35,243
(sobbing)
1801
01:09:36,798 --> 01:09:37,833
Aw, come here.
1802
01:09:37,840 --> 01:09:38,671
Come here.
1803
01:09:38,675 --> 01:09:40,541
It's gonna be okay.
1804
01:09:40,551 --> 01:09:42,758
It's gonna be fine, you'll see.
1805
01:09:44,931 --> 01:09:47,047
Go ahead, it's not one
of my favorites anyway.
1806
01:09:47,058 --> 01:09:49,675
(sobbing)
1807
01:09:49,686 --> 01:09:50,686
It's gonna be okay.
1808
01:09:52,355 --> 01:09:54,471
(huffing)
1809
01:09:58,194 --> 01:09:59,194
Hmmm, okay.
1810
01:10:00,488 --> 01:10:01,488
Okay.
1811
01:10:05,076 --> 01:10:06,487
I'll make some tea.
1812
01:10:06,494 --> 01:10:07,325
- Harry?
1813
01:10:07,328 --> 01:10:09,365
Could you just hold me a little longer?
1814
01:10:09,372 --> 01:10:14,333
- Oh, sure.
1815
01:10:16,170 --> 01:10:18,286
(sighing)
1816
01:10:51,330 --> 01:10:52,411
- Are you comfortable?
1817
01:10:53,332 --> 01:10:54,332
- Sure.
1818
01:11:00,131 --> 01:11:02,623
- Do you want something
to drink or something?
1819
01:11:02,633 --> 01:11:03,633
- No, I'm okay.
1820
01:11:05,303 --> 01:11:06,793
- Well, I'm gonna get up for some water,
1821
01:11:06,804 --> 01:11:08,260
so it's really no trouble.
1822
01:11:09,265 --> 01:11:10,300
- Okay.
1823
01:11:10,308 --> 01:11:11,308
Water.
1824
01:11:19,442 --> 01:11:22,480
(somber piano music)
1825
01:12:06,656 --> 01:12:08,272
You have all the video tapes alphabetized
1826
01:12:08,282 --> 01:12:09,647
and on index cards.
1827
01:12:11,744 --> 01:12:13,326
Thank you.
1828
01:12:13,329 --> 01:12:15,161
- Do you wanna watch something?
1829
01:12:15,164 --> 01:12:16,404
- No, not unless you do.
1830
01:12:17,291 --> 01:12:18,747
- No, that's okay.
1831
01:12:33,558 --> 01:12:36,016
Do you wanna go to sleep?
1832
01:12:36,018 --> 01:12:37,018
- Okay.
1833
01:12:38,396 --> 01:12:41,434
(somber piano music)
1834
01:13:11,429 --> 01:13:12,510
- Where are you going?
1835
01:13:14,056 --> 01:13:15,056
- I gotta go.
1836
01:13:17,518 --> 01:13:19,054
Gotta go home, I gotta change my clothes
1837
01:13:19,061 --> 01:13:20,847
and then I have to go
to work and so do you.
1838
01:13:20,855 --> 01:13:22,391
But after work, I'd like
to take out to dinner
1839
01:13:22,398 --> 01:13:23,263
if you're free.
1840
01:13:23,274 --> 01:13:24,730
Are you free?
1841
01:13:24,734 --> 01:13:25,974
- Yes.
1842
01:13:25,985 --> 01:13:28,022
- Fine, I'll call you later.
1843
01:13:28,029 --> 01:13:29,565
- Fine.
1844
01:13:29,572 --> 01:13:30,572
- Fine.
1845
01:13:40,625 --> 01:13:43,242
(phone ringing)
1846
01:13:49,342 --> 01:13:50,342
- Yours.
1847
01:13:51,093 --> 01:13:51,924
- Hello.
1848
01:13:51,928 --> 01:13:53,259
- I'm sorry to call so early.
1849
01:13:53,262 --> 01:13:54,093
- Are you all right?
1850
01:13:54,096 --> 01:13:55,427
- No one I know would call at this hour.
1851
01:13:55,431 --> 01:13:56,887
- I did something terrible.
(phone ringing)
1852
01:13:56,891 --> 01:13:57,722
- What did you do?
1853
01:13:57,725 --> 01:13:59,136
- No one I know would call at this hour.
1854
01:13:59,143 --> 01:14:00,349
- It's so awful.
- I need to talk.
1855
01:14:00,353 --> 01:14:01,684
- What happened?
- What's the matter?
1856
01:14:01,687 --> 01:14:02,518
- Harry came over last night.
1857
01:14:02,521 --> 01:14:03,932
- I went over to Sally's last night.
1858
01:14:03,940 --> 01:14:05,772
- Because I was upset that
Joe was getting married.
1859
01:14:05,775 --> 01:14:06,606
- And one thing led to another.
1860
01:14:06,609 --> 01:14:08,099
- And before I knew it we
were kissing and then...
1861
01:14:08,110 --> 01:14:09,191
- To make a long story short.
1862
01:14:09,195 --> 01:14:10,276
- [Harry And Sally] We did it.
1863
01:14:10,279 --> 01:14:11,360
- [Jess And Marie] They did it.
1864
01:14:11,364 --> 01:14:12,695
- That's great, Sally.
1865
01:14:12,698 --> 01:14:13,529
- We've been praying for it.
1866
01:14:13,532 --> 01:14:15,148
- You should've done
it in the first place.
1867
01:14:15,159 --> 01:14:16,399
- For months we've been
saying you should do it.
1868
01:14:16,410 --> 01:14:17,445
- You guys belong together.
1869
01:14:17,453 --> 01:14:19,160
- It's like killing two
birds with one stone.
1870
01:14:19,163 --> 01:14:21,074
- It's like two wrongs make a right.
1871
01:14:21,082 --> 01:14:21,913
- [Jess And Marie] How was it?
1872
01:14:21,916 --> 01:14:22,906
- The during part was good.
1873
01:14:22,917 --> 01:14:23,748
- I thought it was good.
1874
01:14:23,751 --> 01:14:24,661
- And then I felt suffocated.
1875
01:14:24,669 --> 01:14:25,500
- But then I guess it wasn't.
1876
01:14:25,503 --> 01:14:26,959
- Jesus, I'm sorry.
- The worst.
1877
01:14:26,963 --> 01:14:27,794
- I had to get out of there.
1878
01:14:27,797 --> 01:14:28,628
- He just disappeared.
1879
01:14:28,631 --> 01:14:29,462
- I feel so bad.
1880
01:14:29,465 --> 01:14:30,500
- I'm so embarrassed.
1881
01:14:30,508 --> 01:14:31,714
- I don't blame you.
- That's horrible.
1882
01:14:31,717 --> 01:14:32,627
- I think I'm coming down with something.
1883
01:14:32,635 --> 01:14:33,841
- I think I'm catching a cold.
1884
01:14:33,844 --> 01:14:35,334
- Look, it would've been
great if it worked out
1885
01:14:35,346 --> 01:14:36,177
but it didn't.
1886
01:14:36,180 --> 01:14:37,511
- You should never go to bed with anyone
1887
01:14:37,515 --> 01:14:39,381
when you find out your
boyfriend is getting married.
1888
01:14:39,392 --> 01:14:40,257
- Who's that talking?
1889
01:14:40,267 --> 01:14:41,098
- Who?
1890
01:14:41,102 --> 01:14:41,887
- Is that Jess on the phone?
1891
01:14:41,894 --> 01:14:42,804
- It's Jane Fonda on the VCR.
1892
01:14:42,812 --> 01:14:43,643
- It's Bryant Gumbel.
1893
01:14:43,646 --> 01:14:45,228
- [Jess And Marie] Do you
wanna come over for breakfast?
1894
01:14:45,231 --> 01:14:46,392
- No, I'm not up to it.
1895
01:14:46,399 --> 01:14:47,514
- No, I feel too awful.
1896
01:14:47,525 --> 01:14:48,811
- [Jess And Marie] Good.
1897
01:14:48,818 --> 01:14:50,149
- I mean, it's so early.
1898
01:14:50,152 --> 01:14:51,392
- But call me later if you want.
1899
01:14:51,404 --> 01:14:52,235
- I'll call you later, okay?
1900
01:14:52,238 --> 01:14:53,353
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.
1901
01:14:53,364 --> 01:14:54,900
- Bye.
- Bye.
1902
01:14:57,284 --> 01:14:58,284
God.
1903
01:14:59,036 --> 01:15:00,036
- I know.
1904
01:15:01,080 --> 01:15:03,287
- Tell me I never have
to be out there again.
1905
01:15:07,461 --> 01:15:09,623
- You will never have
to be out there again.
1906
01:15:11,549 --> 01:15:13,631
(somber music)
1907
01:15:13,634 --> 01:15:15,674
- [Sally Voiceover] I'll
just say we made a mistake.
1908
01:15:16,804 --> 01:15:19,341
- [Harry Voiceover]
Sally, it was a mistake.
1909
01:15:22,018 --> 01:15:24,259
- [Sally Voiceover] I just
hope I get to say it first.
1910
01:15:25,479 --> 01:15:27,971
- [Harry Voiceover] I hope
she says it before I do.
1911
01:15:30,943 --> 01:15:32,354
- It was a mistake.
1912
01:15:32,361 --> 01:15:34,693
- I am so relieved that you think so too.
1913
01:15:36,532 --> 01:15:38,443
I'm not saying last night wasn't great.
1914
01:15:39,368 --> 01:15:40,779
- It was.
1915
01:15:40,786 --> 01:15:42,072
- Yes, it was.
1916
01:15:43,497 --> 01:15:45,238
- We just never should've done it.
1917
01:15:45,249 --> 01:15:46,410
- I couldn't agree more.
1918
01:15:47,376 --> 01:15:49,617
- I am so relieved.
1919
01:15:49,628 --> 01:15:50,618
- Great.
1920
01:15:50,629 --> 01:15:51,619
- Yeah.
1921
01:15:51,630 --> 01:15:53,837
(laughing)
1922
01:15:54,967 --> 01:15:56,753
- [Waiter] Two mixed green salads.
1923
01:16:05,436 --> 01:16:07,723
(crunching)
1924
01:16:26,373 --> 01:16:28,705
- It is so nice when
you can sit with someone
1925
01:16:28,709 --> 01:16:30,245
and not have to talk.
1926
01:16:30,252 --> 01:16:31,252
Hmm?
1927
01:16:35,341 --> 01:16:38,299
It's just like most of the time
you go to bed with someone,
1928
01:16:38,302 --> 01:16:39,918
she tells you all of her stories,
1929
01:16:39,929 --> 01:16:41,761
you tell her your stories.
1930
01:16:41,764 --> 01:16:44,005
But with Sally and me,
1931
01:16:44,016 --> 01:16:46,257
we've already heard each other's stories.
1932
01:16:46,268 --> 01:16:47,554
So once we went to bed,
1933
01:16:47,561 --> 01:16:50,223
we didn't know what we were
suppose to do, you know?
1934
01:16:50,231 --> 01:16:51,231
- [Jess] Sure, Harry.
1935
01:16:53,317 --> 01:16:54,523
- I don't know.
1936
01:16:54,527 --> 01:16:56,768
Maybe you get to a certain
point in a relationship
1937
01:16:56,779 --> 01:16:59,146
where it's just too late
to have sex, you know?
1938
01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:13,000
- Is Harry bringing anyone to the wedding?
1939
01:17:13,003 --> 01:17:14,003
- I don't think so.
1940
01:17:16,298 --> 01:17:18,039
- Is he seeing anyone?
1941
01:17:18,050 --> 01:17:21,213
- He was seeing this anthropologist but.
1942
01:17:22,721 --> 01:17:24,382
- What does she look like?
1943
01:17:24,390 --> 01:17:27,098
- Thin, pretty, big tits.
1944
01:17:27,101 --> 01:17:28,262
Your basic nightmare.
1945
01:17:33,315 --> 01:17:34,315
What do you think?
1946
01:17:36,610 --> 01:17:37,610
- Oh, Marie.
1947
01:17:39,780 --> 01:17:40,780
- Tell the truth.
1948
01:17:42,867 --> 01:17:43,902
- It's just beautiful.
1949
01:17:46,162 --> 01:17:49,951
(pleasant instrumental music)
1950
01:18:16,942 --> 01:18:19,604
- [Priest] We are gathered
here today to celebrate
1951
01:18:19,612 --> 01:18:22,479
the marriage of Marie and Jess,
1952
01:18:23,449 --> 01:18:26,783
and to consecrate their vows of matrimony.
1953
01:18:26,785 --> 01:18:30,494
The vows they take to join their lives,
1954
01:18:30,497 --> 01:18:32,784
the wine they will share
1955
01:18:32,791 --> 01:18:35,704
binds all their hopes together
1956
01:18:35,711 --> 01:18:38,078
and by the rings their will wear,
1957
01:18:38,088 --> 01:18:41,956
they will be known to
all as husband and wife.
1958
01:18:43,385 --> 01:18:46,343
(upbeat band music)
1959
01:18:53,854 --> 01:18:55,936
- [Sally] I've never seen her so happy.
1960
01:18:55,940 --> 01:18:57,430
She's a totally different person.
1961
01:18:57,441 --> 01:18:58,977
- Oh yeah, she is.
1962
01:18:58,984 --> 01:18:59,849
It's great.
1963
01:18:59,860 --> 01:19:01,350
What're we gonna do about you?
1964
01:19:02,238 --> 01:19:03,069
- Me?
- Honey?
1965
01:19:03,072 --> 01:19:04,562
- Yeah.
- Wanna dance?
1966
01:19:04,573 --> 01:19:06,314
- Oh, yeah, yeah, I do.
1967
01:19:06,325 --> 01:19:07,156
- Excuse us.
1968
01:19:07,159 --> 01:19:09,366
(laughing)
1969
01:19:10,663 --> 01:19:11,824
- Hi.
1970
01:19:11,830 --> 01:19:12,830
- Hello.
1971
01:19:17,002 --> 01:19:18,002
- Nice ceremony.
1972
01:19:18,754 --> 01:19:19,754
- Beautiful.
1973
01:19:22,716 --> 01:19:24,047
- Boy the holidays are rough.
1974
01:19:24,051 --> 01:19:25,212
Every year I just try to get from
1975
01:19:25,219 --> 01:19:28,052
the day before Thanksgiving
to the day after New Years.
1976
01:19:28,055 --> 01:19:29,545
- A lot of suicides.
1977
01:19:29,556 --> 01:19:30,556
- Hmmm.
1978
01:19:31,600 --> 01:19:33,432
- [Man] Would you like
a pea pod with a shrimp?
1979
01:19:33,435 --> 01:19:34,435
- Thank you.
1980
01:19:36,063 --> 01:19:36,894
- How've you been?
1981
01:19:36,897 --> 01:19:37,897
- Fine.
1982
01:19:38,899 --> 01:19:40,264
- Are you seeing anybody?
1983
01:19:40,276 --> 01:19:41,357
- Harry?
- What?
1984
01:19:41,360 --> 01:19:42,521
- I don't wanna talk about this.
1985
01:19:42,528 --> 01:19:43,359
- Why not?
1986
01:19:43,362 --> 01:19:45,444
- I don't want to talk about it.
1987
01:19:46,448 --> 01:19:48,314
- Why can't we get past this?
1988
01:19:48,325 --> 01:19:50,862
I mean, are we gonna carry
this thing around forever?
1989
01:19:50,869 --> 01:19:52,655
- Forever, it just happened.
1990
01:19:52,663 --> 01:19:55,451
- It happened three weeks ago.
1991
01:19:55,457 --> 01:19:56,492
You know how a year to a person
1992
01:19:56,500 --> 01:19:58,082
is like seven years to a dog?
1993
01:19:59,378 --> 01:20:00,378
- Yes.
1994
01:20:03,507 --> 01:20:06,795
- Is one of us supposed to
be a dog in this scenario?
1995
01:20:06,802 --> 01:20:08,133
- Yes.
1996
01:20:08,137 --> 01:20:09,468
- Who is the dog?
1997
01:20:09,471 --> 01:20:10,632
- You are.
1998
01:20:10,639 --> 01:20:11,754
- I am?
1999
01:20:11,765 --> 01:20:12,800
I am the dog.
- Mhmm.
2000
01:20:12,808 --> 01:20:13,808
- I am the dog.
2001
01:20:21,317 --> 01:20:22,307
I don't see that, Harry.
2002
01:20:22,318 --> 01:20:24,184
If anybody is the dog, you are the dog.
2003
01:20:24,194 --> 01:20:26,526
You want to act like what
happened didn't mean anything.
2004
01:20:26,530 --> 01:20:27,941
- I'm not saying it didn't mean anything.
2005
01:20:27,948 --> 01:20:29,905
I am saying, why does it
have to mean everything?
2006
01:20:29,908 --> 01:20:31,194
- Because it does!
2007
01:20:31,201 --> 01:20:32,817
And you should know
that better than anybody
2008
01:20:32,828 --> 01:20:33,989
because the minute that it happened,
2009
01:20:33,996 --> 01:20:35,327
you walked right out the door.
2010
01:20:35,331 --> 01:20:36,321
- I didn't walk out.
2011
01:20:36,332 --> 01:20:38,369
- No, sprinted is more like it.
2012
01:20:38,375 --> 01:20:39,740
- We both agreed it was a mistake!
2013
01:20:39,752 --> 01:20:41,709
- [Sally] The worst mistake I ever made!
2014
01:20:43,630 --> 01:20:44,461
- What do you want from me?
2015
01:20:44,465 --> 01:20:45,876
- I don't want anything from you!
2016
01:20:45,883 --> 01:20:46,714
- Fine, Fine!
2017
01:20:46,717 --> 01:20:47,957
But let's just get one thing straight.
2018
01:20:47,968 --> 01:20:50,050
I did not go over there that
night to make love to you,
2019
01:20:50,054 --> 01:20:51,670
that is not why I went there.
2020
01:20:51,680 --> 01:20:53,421
But you looked up at me
with these big weepy eyes.
2021
01:20:53,432 --> 01:20:54,547
"Don't go home tonight, Harry."
2022
01:20:54,558 --> 01:20:55,889
"Hold me a little longer, Harry."
2023
01:20:55,893 --> 01:20:57,600
What was I supposed to do?
2024
01:20:57,603 --> 01:20:59,890
- What are you saying,
you took pity on me?
2025
01:20:59,897 --> 01:21:00,728
- No, I was...
2026
01:21:00,731 --> 01:21:01,562
- Fuck you!
2027
01:21:01,565 --> 01:21:03,522
(smacking)
2028
01:21:03,525 --> 01:21:06,062
(triumphant band music)
2029
01:21:06,070 --> 01:21:09,279
- Everybody, could I have
your attention please?
2030
01:21:09,281 --> 01:21:13,821
I'd like to propose a
toast to Harry and Sally.
2031
01:21:13,827 --> 01:21:15,613
To Harry and Sally,
2032
01:21:15,621 --> 01:21:20,286
if Marie or I had found either
of them remotely attractive,
2033
01:21:20,292 --> 01:21:22,124
we would not be here today.
2034
01:21:22,127 --> 01:21:24,494
(applauding)
2035
01:21:32,513 --> 01:21:34,299
I Have yourself ♪
2036
01:21:34,306 --> 01:21:38,049
♪ A merry little Christmas ♪
2037
01:21:38,060 --> 01:21:42,304
I Let yourself be light ♪
2038
01:21:42,314 --> 01:21:47,275
♪ From now on, our troubles
will be out of sight ♪
2039
01:21:52,533 --> 01:21:57,369
♪ Have yourself a merry little Christmas ♪
2040
01:21:57,371 --> 01:22:02,332
I Make the Yuletide gay I
2041
01:22:02,334 --> 01:22:07,295
♪ From now on, our troubles
will be miles away I
2042
01:22:10,134 --> 01:22:11,590
- Hi, it's me.
2043
01:22:11,593 --> 01:22:13,584
It's is the holiday season
and I thought I'd remind you
2044
01:22:13,595 --> 01:22:16,713
that this is the season of
charity and forgiveness.
2045
01:22:16,723 --> 01:22:18,634
And although it's not widely known,
2046
01:22:18,642 --> 01:22:21,384
it is also the season of groveling.
2047
01:22:21,395 --> 01:22:23,978
So if you felt like calling me back,
2048
01:22:23,981 --> 01:22:25,392
I'd be more than happy to do
2049
01:22:25,399 --> 01:22:27,060
the traditional Christmas grovel.
2050
01:22:28,110 --> 01:22:29,316
Give me a call.
2051
01:22:42,499 --> 01:22:45,116
(phone ringing)
2052
01:22:46,128 --> 01:22:47,084
- [Sally On Answering Machine]
Hi, I'm not home right now.
2053
01:22:47,087 --> 01:22:47,918
Call you right back.
2054
01:22:47,921 --> 01:22:48,956
(answering machine beeping)
2055
01:22:48,964 --> 01:22:50,580
- If you're there,
please pick up the phone,
2056
01:22:50,591 --> 01:22:51,877
I really wanna talk to you.
2057
01:22:55,637 --> 01:22:57,753
The fact that you're not
answering leads me to believe
2058
01:22:57,764 --> 01:23:00,347
you're either A, not at home,
2059
01:23:00,350 --> 01:23:03,058
B, home but don't want to talk to me
2060
01:23:03,061 --> 01:23:05,849
or C, home, desperately want to talk to me
2061
01:23:05,856 --> 01:23:07,517
but trapped under something heavy.
2062
01:23:08,567 --> 01:23:10,649
If it's either A or C,
please call me back.
2063
01:23:13,989 --> 01:23:15,900
Obviously, she doesn't want to talk to me.
2064
01:23:15,908 --> 01:23:18,115
What do I have to do,
be hit over the head?
2065
01:23:18,118 --> 01:23:19,358
If she wants to call me she'll call me.
2066
01:23:19,369 --> 01:23:22,532
I'm through making a
schmuck out of myself.
2067
01:23:22,539 --> 01:23:25,907
♪ If you're feeling sad and lonely ♪
2068
01:23:25,918 --> 01:23:29,411
♪ There's a service I can render ♪
2069
01:23:29,421 --> 01:23:32,379
I Tell the one who digs you only ♪
2070
01:23:32,382 --> 01:23:35,750
♪ I can be so warm and tender ♪
2071
01:23:35,761 --> 01:23:40,722
J” Call me, maybe it's
late so just, call me ♪
2072
01:23:40,974 --> 01:23:44,968
♪ Don't be afraid to just, phone moi ♪
2073
01:23:44,978 --> 01:23:49,097
♪ Call me and I'll be around ♪
2074
01:23:49,107 --> 01:23:49,938
Give me a call.
2075
01:23:49,942 --> 01:23:51,524
- [Sally] Hi, Harry.
2076
01:23:51,527 --> 01:23:53,143
- Hello, hi, hi.
2077
01:23:53,153 --> 01:23:56,111
I didn't know that you were there.
2078
01:23:56,114 --> 01:23:57,320
What're you doing?
2079
01:23:57,324 --> 01:23:59,065
- I was just on my way out.
2080
01:23:59,076 --> 01:24:00,276
- [Harry] Where are you going?
2081
01:24:01,703 --> 01:24:03,239
- What do you want, Harry?
2082
01:24:03,247 --> 01:24:04,328
- Nothing, nothing.
2083
01:24:04,331 --> 01:24:07,119
I just called to say I'm sorry.
2084
01:24:09,586 --> 01:24:10,586
- Okay.
2085
01:24:18,428 --> 01:24:19,634
I gotta go.
2086
01:24:19,638 --> 01:24:21,220
- Wait a second, wait a second.
2087
01:24:22,182 --> 01:24:23,593
What're you doing for New Years?
2088
01:24:23,600 --> 01:24:24,840
Are you going to the Tyler's party?
2089
01:24:24,851 --> 01:24:26,592
'Cause I don't have a date
2090
01:24:26,603 --> 01:24:27,434
and if you don't have a date,
2091
01:24:27,437 --> 01:24:29,895
we always said that if
neither one of us had a date,
2092
01:24:29,898 --> 01:24:32,890
we could be together
for New Years, you know?
2093
01:24:32,901 --> 01:24:36,735
- I can't do this anymore, I
am not your consolation prize.
2094
01:24:36,738 --> 01:24:37,738
Goodbye.
2095
01:24:39,741 --> 01:24:42,654
(dial tone buzzing)
2096
01:24:47,416 --> 01:24:49,623
- And here we are, once again.
2097
01:24:49,626 --> 01:24:52,584
The 16th annual New Year Rockin' Eve
2098
01:24:52,588 --> 01:24:54,579
coming to you live from the...
2099
01:24:54,590 --> 01:24:56,627
- [Harry Voiceover]
What's so bad about this?
2100
01:24:56,633 --> 01:24:58,795
You got Dick Clark, that's tradition.
2101
01:24:58,802 --> 01:25:01,419
You got Mallomars, the
greatest cookie of all time.
2102
01:25:01,430 --> 01:25:02,636
And you're about to give the Knicks
2103
01:25:02,639 --> 01:25:05,381
their first championship since 1973.
2104
01:25:05,392 --> 01:25:08,601
(television commotion)
2105
01:25:10,314 --> 01:25:12,271
("Don't Get Around Much
Anymore" by Harry Connick Jr.)
2106
01:25:12,274 --> 01:25:15,812
♪ Missed the Saturday dance I
2107
01:25:15,819 --> 01:25:19,278
♪ Heard they crowded the floor ♪
2108
01:25:19,281 --> 01:25:24,151
I Oh, I'm lonesome without you I
2109
01:25:24,161 --> 01:25:28,701
- I don't know why I let
you drag me into this.
2110
01:25:28,707 --> 01:25:30,698
(somber piano music)
2111
01:25:30,709 --> 01:25:32,165
- [Harry Voiceover] This is much better.
2112
01:25:32,169 --> 01:25:35,537
Fresh air, I have the
streets all to myself.
2113
01:25:35,547 --> 01:25:37,288
Who needs to be at a big, crowded party
2114
01:25:37,299 --> 01:25:39,540
pretending to have a good time?
2115
01:25:39,551 --> 01:25:40,666
Plus this is the perfect time
2116
01:25:40,677 --> 01:25:42,338
to catch up on my window shopping.
2117
01:25:43,597 --> 01:25:44,758
This is good.
2118
01:25:44,765 --> 01:25:47,473
(woman giggling)
2119
01:25:53,440 --> 01:25:56,853
(pleasant music)
2120
01:25:56,860 --> 01:26:00,353
- So the guy says, "Read the card."
2121
01:26:00,364 --> 01:26:02,731
(laughing)
2122
01:26:02,741 --> 01:26:06,575
- Oh.
(laughing)
2123
01:26:06,578 --> 01:26:07,989
Yeah.
2124
01:26:07,996 --> 01:26:09,987
(laughing)
2125
01:26:09,998 --> 01:26:11,033
I'm going home.
2126
01:26:11,041 --> 01:26:12,497
- You'll never get a taxi.
2127
01:26:12,501 --> 01:26:14,333
(laughing)
2128
01:26:14,336 --> 01:26:17,203
- Oh, God.
2129
01:26:17,214 --> 01:26:20,252
(somber piano music)
2130
01:26:43,073 --> 01:26:43,904
- [Harry Voiceover]
You realize, of course,
2131
01:26:43,907 --> 01:26:45,739
that we can never be friends.
2132
01:26:45,742 --> 01:26:46,982
- [Sally Voiceover] Why not?
2133
01:26:46,993 --> 01:26:48,028
- [Harry Voiceover] What I'm saying
2134
01:26:48,036 --> 01:26:49,743
is that men and women can't be friends
2135
01:26:49,746 --> 01:26:52,204
because the sex part
always gets in the way.
2136
01:26:52,207 --> 01:26:53,447
- [Sally Voiceover] That's not true.
2137
01:26:53,458 --> 01:26:54,619
- [Harry Voiceover] No man can be friends
2138
01:26:54,626 --> 01:26:56,162
with a woman he finds attractive.
2139
01:26:56,169 --> 01:26:58,285
He always wants to have sex with her.
2140
01:26:58,296 --> 01:26:59,127
- [Sally Voiceover] What if they
2141
01:26:59,131 --> 01:27:00,371
don't wanna have sex with you?
2142
01:27:00,382 --> 01:27:01,213
- [Harry Voiceover] Doesn't matter
2143
01:27:01,216 --> 01:27:02,627
because the sex thing
is already out there,
2144
01:27:02,634 --> 01:27:04,170
so the friendship is ultimately doomed
2145
01:27:04,177 --> 01:27:05,793
and that is the end of the story.
2146
01:27:06,972 --> 01:27:07,803
- [Sally Voiceover]
Well, I guess we're not
2147
01:27:07,806 --> 01:27:08,637
gonna be friends then.
2148
01:27:08,640 --> 01:27:09,880
- [Harry Voiceover] Guess not.
2149
01:27:09,891 --> 01:27:11,723
- [Sally Voiceover] It's too bad.
2150
01:27:11,727 --> 01:27:14,219
Because you were the only
person that I knew in New York.
2151
01:27:16,565 --> 01:27:18,556
(somber piano music)
2152
01:27:18,567 --> 01:27:23,528
I It had to be you ♪
2153
01:27:27,576 --> 01:27:32,537
I It had to be you ♪
2154
01:27:35,041 --> 01:27:37,999
♪ I wandered around ♪
2155
01:27:38,003 --> 01:27:42,122
♪ And I finally found J”
(laughing)
2156
01:27:42,132 --> 01:27:47,093
♪ The somebody who ♪
2157
01:27:49,431 --> 01:27:54,392
♪ Would make me be true J”
2158
01:27:55,771 --> 01:28:00,732
♪ And could make me be blue ♪
2159
01:28:01,443 --> 01:28:03,229
- [Sally] I'm going.
2160
01:28:03,236 --> 01:28:04,897
- It's almost midnight.
2161
01:28:04,905 --> 01:28:07,567
- Well, the thought of not
kissing somebody is just...
2162
01:28:07,574 --> 01:28:08,655
- [Jess] I'll kiss you.
2163
01:28:09,951 --> 01:28:11,157
- Hey, taxi!
2164
01:28:11,161 --> 01:28:12,367
Taxi!
2165
01:28:12,370 --> 01:28:13,201
Taxi!
2166
01:28:13,205 --> 01:28:15,742
(horn honking)
2167
01:28:17,292 --> 01:28:19,624
- Come on, stay, please.
2168
01:28:19,628 --> 01:28:21,118
- Thanks, Jess, I just have to go.
2169
01:28:21,129 --> 01:28:23,086
- Oh, wait two minutes.
2170
01:28:23,089 --> 01:28:24,750
- I'll call you tomorrow.
2171
01:28:24,758 --> 01:28:29,719
♪ Might never be mean ♪
2172
01:28:32,224 --> 01:28:36,092
♪ Might never be cross ♪
2173
01:28:36,102 --> 01:28:40,266
♪ Or try to be boss ♪
2174
01:28:40,273 --> 01:28:45,234
I But they wouldn't do ♪
2175
01:28:47,197 --> 01:28:51,282
♪ For nobody else ♪
2176
01:28:51,284 --> 01:28:55,903
♪ Gave me a thrill ♪
2177
01:28:55,914 --> 01:28:58,576
♪ With all your thoughts I
2178
01:28:58,583 --> 01:29:01,746
♪ I love you still ♪
2179
01:29:01,753 --> 01:29:04,336
I It had to be you ♪
2180
01:29:04,339 --> 01:29:06,125
- I've been doing a lot of thinking
2181
01:29:06,132 --> 01:29:07,622
and the thing is, I love you.
2182
01:29:08,677 --> 01:29:09,883
- What?
2183
01:29:09,886 --> 01:29:10,886
- I love you.
2184
01:29:11,805 --> 01:29:14,342
- How do you expect me to respond to this?
2185
01:29:14,349 --> 01:29:15,680
- How about you love me too?
2186
01:29:16,935 --> 01:29:18,300
- How about, I'm leaving?
2187
01:29:18,311 --> 01:29:20,678
- Doesn't what I said
mean anything to you?
2188
01:29:20,689 --> 01:29:22,020
- I'm sorry, Harry,
2189
01:29:22,023 --> 01:29:23,434
I know it's New Years Eve,
(crowd counting down)
2190
01:29:23,441 --> 01:29:24,806
I know you're feeling lonely
(crowd counting down)
2191
01:29:24,818 --> 01:29:27,606
but you just can't show up
here, tell me you love me
2192
01:29:27,612 --> 01:29:30,149
and expect that to make
everything all right.
2193
01:29:30,156 --> 01:29:31,772
It doesn't work this way.
2194
01:29:31,783 --> 01:29:33,273
- Well how does it work?
2195
01:29:33,285 --> 01:29:34,571
- I don't know (crowd cheering)
2196
01:29:34,578 --> 01:29:36,319
but not this way.
(crowd cheering)
2197
01:29:36,329 --> 01:29:37,785
- How about this way?
2198
01:29:37,789 --> 01:29:40,497
I love that you get cold
when it's 71 degrees out.
2199
01:29:40,500 --> 01:29:41,365
I love that it takes you
2200
01:29:41,376 --> 01:29:43,367
an hour and a half to order a sandwich.
2201
01:29:43,378 --> 01:29:45,244
I love that you get a little
crinkle above your nose
2202
01:29:45,255 --> 01:29:46,791
when you're looking at me like I'm nuts.
2203
01:29:46,798 --> 01:29:48,709
I love that after I spend a day with you
2204
01:29:48,717 --> 01:29:50,833
I can still smell your
perfume on my clothes
2205
01:29:50,844 --> 01:29:53,757
and I love that you are the
last person I want to talk to
2206
01:29:53,763 --> 01:29:55,629
before I go to sleep at night.
2207
01:29:55,640 --> 01:29:57,426
And it's not because I'm lonely
2208
01:29:57,434 --> 01:29:59,471
and it's not because it's New Years Eve.
2209
01:29:59,477 --> 01:30:01,514
I came here tonight
because when you realize
2210
01:30:01,521 --> 01:30:03,888
you want to spend the rest
of your life with somebody,
2211
01:30:03,899 --> 01:30:06,857
you want the rest of the life
to start as soon as possible.
2212
01:30:06,860 --> 01:30:09,727
(K“ Auk! Lang Syne“)'
2213
01:30:10,697 --> 01:30:11,697
- You see?
2214
01:30:13,491 --> 01:30:15,482
That is just like you, Harry.
2215
01:30:15,493 --> 01:30:17,530
You say things like that and you make it
2216
01:30:17,537 --> 01:30:19,824
impossible for me to hate you!
2217
01:30:21,041 --> 01:30:22,623
And I hate you Harry.
2218
01:30:25,045 --> 01:30:26,251
I really hate you.
2219
01:30:31,301 --> 01:30:32,462
I hate you.
2220
01:30:32,469 --> 01:30:37,384
♪ For auld lang syne ♪
2221
01:30:39,559 --> 01:30:44,474
♪ We'll take a cup of kindness yet ♪
2222
01:30:46,524 --> 01:30:50,392
♪ For auld lang syne ♪
2223
01:30:50,403 --> 01:30:51,814
- What does this song mean?
2224
01:30:51,821 --> 01:30:53,562
My whole life, I don't
know what this song means.
2225
01:30:53,573 --> 01:30:55,814
I mean, "Should old
acquaintance he forgot."
2226
01:30:55,825 --> 01:30:57,657
Does that mean we should
forget old acquaintances
2227
01:30:57,661 --> 01:30:59,277
or does it mean if we
happen to forget them
2228
01:30:59,287 --> 01:31:00,118
we should remember them,
2229
01:31:00,121 --> 01:31:02,783
which is not possible because
we already forgot them?
2230
01:31:02,791 --> 01:31:04,577
- Well maybe it just means that
2231
01:31:04,584 --> 01:31:07,167
we should remember that we
forgot them or something.
2232
01:31:10,006 --> 01:31:12,338
Anyway, it's about old friends.
2233
01:31:12,342 --> 01:31:14,800
♪ Be forgot I
2234
01:31:14,803 --> 01:31:19,764
♪ and days of old lang syne ♪
2235
01:31:20,183 --> 01:31:21,014
- [Harry Voiceover] The first time we met
2236
01:31:21,017 --> 01:31:22,473
we hated each other.
2237
01:31:22,477 --> 01:31:25,094
- [Sally Voiceover] No, you
didn't hate me, I hated you.
2238
01:31:25,105 --> 01:31:27,437
The second time we met, you
didn't even remember me.
2239
01:31:27,440 --> 01:31:29,556
- [Harry Voiceover] I did
too, I remembered you.
2240
01:31:29,567 --> 01:31:32,605
The the third time we
met, we became friends.
2241
01:31:32,612 --> 01:31:34,148
- [Sally Voiceover] We were
friends for a long time.
2242
01:31:34,155 --> 01:31:36,192
- [Harry Voiceover] And then we weren't.
2243
01:31:36,199 --> 01:31:37,781
- And then we fell in love.
2244
01:31:38,910 --> 01:31:40,742
Three months later, we got married.
2245
01:31:40,745 --> 01:31:42,702
- It only took three months.
2246
01:31:42,706 --> 01:31:44,492
- 12 years and three months.
2247
01:31:44,499 --> 01:31:46,661
- We had a really wonderful wedding.
2248
01:31:46,668 --> 01:31:48,500
- It was a, it really
was a beautiful wedding.
2249
01:31:48,503 --> 01:31:51,086
- We had this enormous coconut cake.
2250
01:31:51,089 --> 01:31:52,454
- A huge coconut cake
2251
01:31:52,465 --> 01:31:54,752
with the tiers and there was this
2252
01:31:54,759 --> 01:31:56,921
very rich chocolate sauce on the side.
2253
01:31:56,928 --> 01:31:59,135
- Right because not everybody
likes it on the cake
2254
01:31:59,139 --> 01:32:00,504
because it makes it very soggy.
2255
01:32:00,515 --> 01:32:01,630
- Particularly the coconut,
2256
01:32:01,641 --> 01:32:02,972
soaks up a lot of that
stuff, so you really,
2257
01:32:02,976 --> 01:32:04,808
it's important to keep it on the side.
2258
01:32:04,811 --> 01:32:05,642
- Right.
2259
01:32:05,645 --> 01:32:08,137
I It had to be you ♪
2260
01:32:08,148 --> 01:32:10,810
I It had to be you ♪
2261
01:32:10,817 --> 01:32:13,684
♪ I wandered around and finally found ♪
2262
01:32:13,695 --> 01:32:16,107
♪ The somebody who ♪
2263
01:32:16,114 --> 01:32:18,731
♪ Could make me be true ♪
2264
01:32:18,742 --> 01:32:21,325
♪ Could make me be blue ♪
2265
01:32:21,327 --> 01:32:24,160
I And even be glad just to be sad I
2266
01:32:24,164 --> 01:32:27,156
♪ Thinking of you I
2267
01:32:27,167 --> 01:32:30,080
♪ You say "either" and I say "either" ♪
2268
01:32:30,086 --> 01:32:32,669
♪ You say "neither," I say "neither" ♪
2269
01:32:32,672 --> 01:32:35,289
♪ "Either," "either",
"neither," "neither" ♪
2270
01:32:35,300 --> 01:32:38,042
♪ Let's call the whole thing off ♪
2271
01:32:38,053 --> 01:32:40,590
♪ You say "potato" and I say "patattah" ♪
2272
01:32:40,597 --> 01:32:43,134
♪ You say "tomato," I say "tomatah" ♪
2273
01:32:43,141 --> 01:32:45,849
♪ "Potato," "patattah,"
“tomato," "tamatah" ♪
2274
01:32:45,852 --> 01:32:48,640
♪ Let's call the whole thing off ♪
2275
01:32:48,646 --> 01:32:51,684
♪ Oh, if we call the whole thing off I
2276
01:32:51,691 --> 01:32:53,807
♪ Then we must part ♪
2277
01:32:53,818 --> 01:32:56,526
I And though, if we ever part ♪
2278
01:32:56,529 --> 01:32:59,191
♪ That would break my heart ♪
2279
01:32:59,199 --> 01:33:01,782
♪ You say "lever," I say "lover" ♪
2280
01:33:01,785 --> 01:33:04,402
♪ You say "either," I say “other" I
2281
01:33:04,412 --> 01:33:06,744
♪ For we know, we need each other so I
2282
01:33:06,748 --> 01:33:09,786
♪ We'd better call off, call off ♪
2283
01:33:09,793 --> 01:33:10,954
♪ Let's ♪
2284
01:33:10,960 --> 01:33:11,916
I Call it off ♪
2285
01:33:11,920 --> 01:33:13,536
I Ch, let's ♪
2286
01:33:13,546 --> 01:33:14,411
I Call it off ♪
2287
01:33:14,422 --> 01:33:16,038
♪ Baby, let's ♪
2288
01:33:16,049 --> 01:33:17,084
I Call it off ♪
2289
01:33:17,092 --> 01:33:20,335
♪ Sugar, why don't we ♪
2290
01:33:20,345 --> 01:33:21,585
♪ Let's ♪
2291
01:33:21,596 --> 01:33:23,462
♪ Let's call the whole thing ♪
2292
01:33:23,473 --> 01:33:26,511
(upbeat piano music)
2293
01:34:06,057 --> 01:34:08,515
♪ They're writing songs of love ♪
2294
01:34:08,518 --> 01:34:11,135
♪ But not for me J”
2295
01:34:11,146 --> 01:34:13,763
♪ A lucky star's above ♪
2296
01:34:13,773 --> 01:34:16,265
♪ But not for me J”
2297
01:34:16,276 --> 01:34:19,064
I With love to lead the way ♪
2298
01:34:19,070 --> 01:34:21,562
♪ I've found more clouds of gray ♪
2299
01:34:21,573 --> 01:34:24,281
♪ Than any Russian play ♪
2300
01:34:24,284 --> 01:34:26,946
I Could guarantee ♪
2301
01:34:26,953 --> 01:34:29,661
♪ I was a fool to fall ♪
2302
01:34:29,664 --> 01:34:32,156
I And get that way ♪
2303
01:34:32,167 --> 01:34:34,283
♪ Hi ho, alas ♪
2304
01:34:34,294 --> 01:34:37,582
♪ And also, lackaday ♪
2305
01:34:37,589 --> 01:34:40,456
♪ Although I can't dismiss ♪
2306
01:34:40,466 --> 01:34:43,128
♪ The memory of her kiss ♪
2307
01:34:43,136 --> 01:34:46,379
♪ I guess she's not ♪
2308
01:34:46,389 --> 01:34:48,972
Is For x!
2309
01:34:48,975 --> 01:34:53,515
♪ Me ♪
2310
01:34:53,521 --> 01:34:56,138
♪ It had to be you ♪
2311
01:34:56,149 --> 01:34:58,732
I It had to be you ♪
2312
01:34:58,735 --> 01:35:01,443
(exciting music)
2313
01:35:04,073 --> 01:35:06,815
♪ For nobody else gave me a thrill ♪
2314
01:35:06,826 --> 01:35:09,409
I With all your faults, I love you still ♪
2315
01:35:09,412 --> 01:35:11,995
♪ It had to be you, wonderful you ♪
2316
01:35:11,998 --> 01:35:16,413
I It had to be you ♪
162749
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