All language subtitles for les nouvelles aventures aladin 2015 english subtitle

Hello listeners, thanks for tuning in.

Now this is a sick trick and
I don't know if you've noticed.

But this evening is Christmas eve
and Paris has a heat wave.

It's 90 degrees Fahrenheit and
everyone is out on their terraces.

If I can offer some advice,
if you're gonna be swimming later,

make sure to drink plenty of water,
as it's very hot out there.

I don't want there to be
any risk of dehydration.

Well, there you go,
that's the tip of the day.

Why can't you spend
the day shopping with me?

You know the stock exchange
does not shut down

because it's Christmas time, right?

Hey, hey, hey...

I'm working really hard but it's for us.

Move it!

Hurry up there, the CAC
40 just dropped to 39.

We gotta get going.

Sam, you're going to be
there tonight on time...

Yeah, I'll be on time.

- You can count on me.
- No, no, wait.

I don't know what he just told you,
but today we get our annual bonus

and we run the risk
of wrapping up today.

It's okay, see you later.

Kisses my love!

Have a good day.

What?

What, what?

What is it?

Christmas means a lot to her.

But we're not interested in Christmas.
Tonight we work.

It's serious, okay?

Khalid, it's all good.

Now quit bugging me.

No, it's not all good.

You're already making
the girlfriend more important

than the business.

Great Biz, shoplifting on Christmas eve.

Am I disturbing you?

A little coffee, a sandwich maybe?

- Well that would be great!
- If it's not too much trouble

Shut it!

You, control the level
that you're in trouble.

You, toy department, take
photographs with the kids.

But I hate kids.

Go on, get moving.

Go go go.

So I'll recap, we'll steal
all we can in closing time,

the perfume guy lets us
out with the merchandise.

You get it?

I don't get it.

There's nothing to get.

It's a slam dunk.

It's all worked out
with the perfume guy.

Cut out the perfume guy, he's a loser.

You're the loser my friend.

You're gonna screw this all up

because you're afraid
of your girlfriend.

Sooner or later she's gonna dump you.

Let me remind you that you
don't really work in finance.

So let's split up.

Stick to the plan and we'll
meet later in the store room.

This is Santa's brother

from the North Pole.

Santa Claus, when do we get the gifts?

How should I know?

What are you asking me for?

Hey, will you tell me a story?

No, I don't know any stories.

Go over there.

Your friends are doing something fun.

Go color.

I have no friends.

They won't quit calling me an albino.

Hey little man, you've got
your problems, I've got mine.

We're not gonna tell each
other our life stories.

Now hit the brakes.

Will you please tell
us a story Santa Claus?

Tell us a story.

Tell us a story.

Tell us a story.

Tell us a story.

Tell us a story.

Tell us a story.

Tell us a story.

Tell us a story.

But of course, that's why I'm here.

What story would you like to hear?

Snow White.

I don't know that one.

Iron Man.

Bat Man.

Beauty and the Beast.

Super Man.

Barbie!

Come on, do Spider man.

Has anyone heard of,
The Adventures of Aladdin?

Oh no, we don't wanna hear that.

Ah yes, but you don't know this version.

It's a little remix edition.

Alright, gather around.

Sit down, behave, be quiet.

Very good.

Okay.

The New Adventures of Aladdin.

I wanted Snow White.

Me too.

Yeah, I know.

I don't know it.

Let's travel back in
time to the 11th century,

in Baghdad, the city
of a thousand riches.

The roads were filled with merchants,

street traders, and troubadours.

Aladdin and Khalid,
two handsome fellows,

tried to survive in a time

where only the wealthy knew no hunger.

Thanks.

Welcome to Baghdad ladies and gentlemen.

Down there you'll find all
sorts of delicious delicacies.

You'll enjoy yourselves for sure.

Not bad.

Hey, look up there.

Do you see it?

No, no, no, no, no, you
can't leave that there.

I'll just be two minutes.

Two minutes, no more or I
will have to issue you a ticket.

Hurry up, will ya?

I don't understand.

It's usually the blue and the green.

But no, on this model it's the red one.

Where do you see a red wire?

What's that, isn't that a red wire?

No, that's orange!

- What are you an idiot?
- Knock it off!

Okay do it, it's the red.

Orange.

Red.

Orange.

Red.

Okay, I won't do it.

Oh, you go ahead and
quit clowning around.

You're such a thief.

Get out of the way!

Hey, everybody, get out of the way!

What's happening?

I don't know.

Put it down!

Did you see that?

Of course I did.

Who's your daddy?

Who's your daddy?

Wahoo!

This way.

Ready?

Ready.

Woo!

Why didn't you jump?

Wahoo!

Yes, yes, of course Vizier.

I agree with you as always,

but is it not a little
early to visit my daughter?

Certainly, but the princess
Shalia disobeyed you again.

That's true.

So then Sultan, are you
not the master of time?

Should you bow to the laws and customs

like the common mortal?

Vizier, how your words

are always full of
good sense and wisdom.

You could tell just
by looking at the Vizier

that he was neither good, nor wise.

Shalia!

The princess may not
be seen, your highness.

Shalia?

It was reported to me that once again,

you attempted to leave the
confines of the palace.

First off, it is not nice to report.

Secondly, I am not your
prisoner but your daughter.

But you know that it is
prohibited to leave the palace

before you marry.

I've had enough of these moldy rules.

You can't keep me here.

I need to get out.

Good, if you try to escape once again,

I shall behead one of your servants.

Huh, is that good?

I shall begin with
Rababa, your favorite.

Was I good there?

Absolutely your highness.

We must live in respect of tradition.

The princess should not expose
herself like a commoner.

I cannot wait to get her married.

Such a marriage would bring
loads of money to the state,

and I'm the state.

Certainly, the princess
is not easy to marry.

She has her own temperament and...

Find her a rich husband.

Rich and handsome.

No, forget handsome, just rich.

As your highness pleases.

If the princess marries

when the Sultan dies, I could
lose control of the realm,

and I would never become
the most powerful...

Pardon me?

What?

Were you talking to me?

No.

Well you were talking
so I just figured...

To myself.

Well that's not very normal.

Buzz off.

Huh?

Leave.

Go on.

Step up, step up, step up.

The Sultan's policy.

The Aladdin DVD releasing
in a thousand years.

Step up, step up,

the Aladdin DVD...

Princess, I beg of you it is risky.

If you would permit me to allow myself

to remind her gracious
majesty, that the Sultan,

your royal father,

promised to execute your
highness's favorite servant

if she ventured again in
the streets of the city.

Princess, princess?

The city is beautiful.

Princess, you should go back!

I'm not saying this
because I'm your favorite.

I just think we should
be a little more careful.

Princess!

Hey hey, people of Baghdad.

Now you can discover the elixir

the whole world is talking about.

This potion will give you energy, power,

invigorating to whoever drinks it.

Is there a volunteer?

Anyone want to?

Who's going to try it?

There's enough for everyone!

A new medicine for all your problems.

It brings back vigor, youth, and energy

for anyone who will drink it.

Anyone want to try?

Is there a volunteer?

I'd like to try it.

Very well, it is the will of the people.

We shall test my elixir
on this guy here.

It's gotta be a con.

We split 50/50 right?

60/40 it's my scam.

Have some patience.

Okay we go 50/50.

Wahoo!

So there we are ladies and gentlemen.

Look now,

look at what this elixir can do!

It is exceptional.

Look how magic the elixir is.

Come and get it.

Look how exceptional it is!

Have you ever seen such
a thing in your lives?

Witness the miracle of the elixir.

He has the energy of a child.

This is great!

Why is it great?

That's why you should
get out more often.

Anyway, I digress.

What I wanted to say was, let's go now.

Princess, it's a scam.

There's enough for everyone.

No it's not, it's real.

Let's go, who wants one?

Thank you ladies.

Get it for a special price.

Two for the price of two.

Free while they last.

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

You don't wanna be left behind.

Don't let your neighbors
get it before you.

Alright, throw me your money.

Thank you very much.

Hey you there!

I beg of you.

This is trouble.

Satisfy my curiosity sorcerer

and tell me what effect
the potion would have

on someone in good health.

That's a very good question.

Oh dear.

Well a person in good health
would not feel but better

after having drunk the elixir,

Can you prove it?

Certainly.

And that's about it.

They overcame the social
class differences.

They got married and had many children,

and lived happily ever after.

Okay end of story, Merry Christmas.

Stop shouting.

I wanted Snow White.

Quiet!

Busy yourself with
these kids or we leave.

Yeah yeah, I was gonna get to that.

The best part.

Yeah, it's all good.

I'm here for the kids.

Very well.

Okay, okay okay.

I shall tell you how the story ends.

I mean, I was going to anyway.

I wanted Snow White.

Alright.

To your health.

I know what you're doing.

I don't understand.

Mmhm.

I can't see anything!

I'm gonna get beheaded for sure.

I can't see!

I'm blind!

Don't do that, they'll kill us!

I'm blind!

It's alright she's just joking around.

I can't see.

Look at that.

Look at that.

It's all black.

I can't see!

Knock it off, you'll get us killed.

I can't see anything!

Watch out.

Hey, calm down.

I will never see the light of day again.

Your majesty, enough!

Rababa, it's you.

Let's return, your grace.

That's nice, grace for a princess.

This will end badly!

It's water!

It's just water.

Khalid...

Oh no, my young sorcerer.

Your majesty!

Let him go!

Stop stop.

Leave him be.

Let him go.

It was a joke.

Just leave him alone.

Please!

Just stop.

Shame be upon you and your families.

So tell me,

when your good Vizier comes
and visits his people,

what does he find?

Disorder and chaos.

Uh...

Yes.

Without wishing to intervene
or create any controversy,

it seems to me that disorder and chaos

are two quite similar words,

and anyway, are used in
the same context here.

I wouldn't have dared...

I did say on this beautiful day,

your beloved and adored Vizier,

your beloved and adored Vizier.

Is there any repetition there?

Any repetition?

No.

Good.

Get up.

What shall I do with you?

You gotta catch me first!

Ya la!

How embarrassing.

Aladdin, let's make another deal.

Let's split, 70/30?

Cool.

Heads up, there's a guard there.

I'm sorry, I didn't start this.

Here, give me that.

It's not me, it's him.

It's him.

Look, Snow White, there she is!

I'll get him, I'll get him.

Come back you.

Where are you?

Good, can we leave?

I pulled the guard's
pants down just now.

Great.

You forgot this.

Thanks.

Woo!

Close call.

Why am I doing this?

Hold it right there.

Are we good now?

Can we go on?

Well, as I was saying,

what shall I do with you?

Let him go.

Listen old man, I don't
pay attention to threats.

Kill the Vizier, kill the Vizier.

Kill the Vizier, kill the Vizier.

Kill the Vizier, kill the Vizier.

Shoot an arrow through my shoulder

so it hits him in the heart.

Kill the Vizier, kill the Vizier.

Ah, he did it.

No!

The idiot.

He's being an idiot.

Khalid, no!

No brother, I beg you, no.

No...

Oh, I didn't get hurt.

So much for that.

No not now.

It's not possible.

No.

Right.

Now who was it that
said, "Kill the Vizier"?

Let's get out of here!

This could be bad.

Back up, back up.

As you know, your good Vizier
is not a spiteful person,

but as you wished my death...

Increase taxes for the poor!

Yes!

I'll do whatever you want.

We'll split it 50/50 like you said.

I don't care.

You can have all of it.

Don't leave me, not now!

Brother, come back.

And you will serve as an example.

You will rot in the
infinite desert of or Corby.

Oh no, princess please.

What, is Khalid dead?

It's so sad.

Let's change it, change it!

No, no, he's not dead.

And the arrow?

The arrow?

What about the arrow?

Well it uh...

As it happens, the man
who's head was cut off,

had a brother or a twin, a doctor,

and well, he took Khalid home

to look after him,

and to thank him for
attacking the Vizier.

Okay so now,

Khalid wakes up in a house

and he's not dead.

And he's not dead because.

I'm here.

Well in fact, the man who's
head was cut off by the Vizier

was my twin brother,

and well, as I'm a doctor,

I brought you home to make you better,

and in addition to being a doctor,

I want to thank you for attacking
the Vizier for my brother.

Oh my young sorcerer.

I shall save you.

Look, I have some water.

My beloved.

Darn.

What an idiot I am.

Don't worry, I'll be back.

Okay.

Aladdin?

Is it you my brother?

Are you alive?

I brought you some food my friend.

Wait, don't move.

I'll be back.

Okay.

I found it again.

Look it, look it.

Look what I've got my friend.

Woo!

My friend.

I have food and water for you my friend.

And I went past burger hut and
I got a biggie for you too.

Huh?

I can't stop thinking
of the nice con artist,

who because of us is
stuck in the desert.

I think he's dead

given the scheme he
pulled in the bazaar.

He's beautiful.

I shall forever have his
face etched in my memory.

Oh, you've really captured his hair.

Thanks.

And there, I saw the most
beautiful eyes in the world,

but the Vizier turned up

and killed my friend before my eyes.

Then it became the saddest
day of my lifetime.

I'll have revenge.

Revenge...

I swear.

Yes of course.

What?

Without offending
you my generous savior,

you sure you're not a
bit of a con artist?

No, no.

Cool.

Me, I'm a humble magician.

A magician?

Yes.

Nothing too crazy.

You know, I mean, voila!

Super.

Then what are you doing
alone in the desert magician?

I'm looking for an ancient object

hidden in a secret
palace not far from here,

just over there.

What is the object?

Oh, it's just an old
lamp of very little value.

But it belonged to my aunt May Smith.

I hold it

very dear to my heart my friend.

However, the tricky part is,

the place is so dilapidated I
cannot get through the rubble.

So I'm looking for someone
who could possible help.

But no.

But yes.

Unfortunately no.

Yes.

I need to go to Baghdad to
get revenge on the Vizier.

Help me Aladdin.

Help me and I shall
give you all the means

to get revenge on the Vizier.

Let's do it.

Yeah!

You know, I only have two points left.

I'm being careful.

So...

For sure.

The coast is clear.

Meanwhile back in Baghdad,

the people continue to suffer

thanks to the Vizier's new tax.

The realm's coppers continue to grow,

while the people bare the burden.

Ah, there you are my cunning one.

You have to cut this

and now you're too tall.

Come down.

More.

More.

Now look up at me.

You must find me a suitor

for the princess.

A feeble being that I
can control as I wish.

In fact, you must stop her from marrying

any kind of prince.

Yes, what I just said.

Not precisely, I was thinking...

Why can't I marry the princess myself?

Because you have bad breath.

Here it is.

Aladdin, Aladdin, your eyes
will probably be tainted

to contemplate the gold,

but you must promise me
not to touch anything.

Don't touch anything, I got it.

Are you sure, just because
you do suffer a little bit

from kleptomania.

Dude.

Well, you see, you're a bit of a thief.

What?

Well for example, right now
you're picking my pockets.

It's true.

So the secret code is

Normally it...

Aladdin, you will go into the palace

and over a series of obstacles.

You will not touch a thing,

not a thing except for the golden lamp

that you will retrieve for
me at any and all costs.

Aladdin, Aladdin, look
me in the eyes please.

None of the gold will
have any effect on you.

That's it.

You can go.

My precious.

Hello?

Oh yeah.

This is impossible.

No, ah, excuse me sir.

Have a good day.

Have you found what I'd asked you to?

Elementary my dear Vizier.

Cheilch Loulcolms, the great
detective never let's you down.

I've personally selected
three candidates

that can perfectly meet the
demands you have asked of me,

which was to find a person
that could pass himself

off as your nephew.

You know what I'm saying?

Get someone who matches that
exact features and stuff.

Give me a long response again,

I shall cut off your tongue.

Mmhm.

I'm the best.

Hello handsome.

So these are the three you think

will pass themselves off as my nephew?

That's right, there they are.

Yes yes.

I really liked the Chinese guy.

I did.

Pardon me.

Catch that woman.

Stop, stop, stop!

Woman, get back here.

Wait, wait, wait.

Let go.

Let go of me.

You know the fate reserved for thieves.

I'm not a thief.

I'm not ashamed I like
to dress like this.

So there, is it bad to be different?

To dress like a girl, is
that a criminal offense?

Most certainly.

Just a second there!

I did not know that it was
forbidden to be disguised.

Well then you are disguised
to rob your next victim

or you are a deviant in either case.

That has nothing to do
with it, I promise you.

The reason that I disguised myself

as more for culture
and method acting for a

armature play.

Oh yeah?

I'm an actor you see?

I adore the dramatic arts.

Oh good.

Well as an example,

in the theater of ancient Greece,

all the female roles
were played by the men.

Oh right.

Yeah.

In my own opinion, ancient Greece,

I just call it Greece, but
in the future in 1,500 years

it'll be ancient Greece.

See what I mean?

Alright, but there
are two schools, right?

Two schools of?

Yeah, yeah yeah.

Oh no.

Hey!

Woo!

What I truly love
the most is to get deep

into the skin of the character.

I'll lose myself entirely in a role.

What is an actor?

It's all emotion.

The actor feels, emotes,
and emerges into a role

to make it immortal.

The craft is my life.

Well, I have to be going.

I can't keep you much longer.

Young thief.

You are the master of
the art of congealry.

You, go tell the Sultan that
my nephew who we thought dead,

has returned.

Your nephew returned?

Great!

Whoa.

None of the gold will
mean anything to you.

None of the gold will
mean anything to you.

None of the gold will
mean anything to you.

That's crazy.

Here, choose whichever you want.

Yes that one, why not?

Here you are.

It's an eight.

Hey.

Who's there?

Yes!

Oh don't worry.

Magician!

Aladdin!

Have you brought the lamp with you?

Yeah, I got it but it's just junk.

Give it to me.

Why is the ground shaking?

Crazy boy, I hope you
did not steal anything!

No.

Of course, that depends
on what you mean by

anything.

No!

No!

We'll find a way
Aladdin, we'll find a way.

Where am I parked?

All of Baghdad was talking about

the return of Vizier's nephew.

Is it certain?

This nephew was going to be
presented to the Sultan.

The Vizier started with a little cough,

and some blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah,
my joy on discovering

that my beloved nephew
did not parish in India,

but was well and alive,

and rich.

Very rich.

That's one of my favorite paintings.

I wouldn't part with it
for anything in the world.

It's just priceless.

He just said it's priceless.

It would delight me great
Sultan, to purchase it from you.

I like your nephew.

That is kind.

He appreciates art.

That's a rarity.

Thank you.

In fact, when I say it's priceless,

what I mean to say

is that I'm not able
to give you the price,

considering all the brushes,
the canvas, the paint,

I'd never break even.

Do you use models?

No, I paint from memory.

Ow.

Ow my head.

Slide to unlock?

You there, you little cow dung.

You alone?

What's that?

I am the one and only genie

who has endured for thousands
of years in that lamp.

By the way, I wish to know

if you were accompanied by a brunette?

Or at least a red head.

You see, it would help.

I've been in there for a while.

No, I'm all alone.

In fact, I was with my friend Khalid...

Wait, you're telling me a story?

Yeah.

Ah, not interested.

Don't care.

Pardon.

I'm free!

Sweet freedom.

I'm free.

Catch you on the rebound.

Yeah, we're free.

Hey.

Genie?

A question.

Given that I liberated you,

if I'm remembering my history
from when I was younger.

So technically, don't
I have the right to

make three wishes of my own?

Yes, that's true, right.

But it so happens that I'm
over with granting favors

to you humans.

The last one swore he'd
release me with his last wish

from this rotten lamp in
which I was in for years,

which he didn't do.

So I'm done granting wishes.

It makes me sick that folks say things

and then don't keep their word.

Alright, I get it.

You're trying to act
like we're old buds.

I understand exactly how you feel,

just like we were separated
twins, is that it?

Let it go.

Save your breath.

In his long life, the genie
has the right just once

to refuse a human his wishes.

It so happens that human is...

Who do you think it is?

Oh, it's this guy.

So sorry, I am free!

F.R.E.E. free!

Okay okay, we are cool.

Just, I'll let you go in a second.

Just forget the wishes.

Funny question.

How is a giant like you.

A buff dude.

A buff dude, yeah.

And good looking.

Actually, fit inside
that tiny little lamp?

I don't see how it's possible.

Impossible is not in
a genie's vocabulary.

Watch this.

In oh yeah!

Who's your daddy?

Apparently thinking isn't either.

What?

No, wait!

Let me out.

Okay, I shall grant you three wishes.

Three wishes?

That's not enough.

What?

I don't want to meet anyone.

You promised not to force me to marry.

Even worse, with the Vizier's nephew.

You'll see, you'll like him a lot.

He's very good looking, well off.

There's no reason for me to be here.

Rababa, I can't get the young thief

who we sent to a certain
death out of my mind.

We didn't really...

He was so good looking,
with his curly dark hair.

Yeah, but more frizzy than curly.

The color of his eyes.

He looked cross eyed.

Just a second.

Every time I say something,

you make a contradiction.

Just because I'm nice
doesn't mean I'm your friend.

Oh my god, he's ugly.

He looks like a monkey.

No, that's not the nephew.

That is a monkey.

I thought that was him.

Gold.

♪ If there's a cure for this ♪

♪ I don't want it ♪

♪ Don't want it ♪

♪ If there's a cure for this ♪

♪ I don't want it ♪

♪ I don't want it ♪

♪ I think about it all the time ♪

♪ Thinking only makes me smile ♪

♪ And say hey ♪

♪ I gotta love hangover ♪

♪ I don't wanna shake it ♪

♪ If there's a cure for me ♪

♪ I don't want it ♪

♪ I don't want it ♪

♪ If there's a... ♪

Stop it.

Come here.

Okay, I'll sacrifice myself.

I'll take your place princess.

Very well.

He can marry Rababa.

Perfect, off with her head then.

Before or after the wedding night?

Why'd you do that?

What?

Did I ask you to do that?

No.

If I didn't ask, don't do it.

Well, I mean, I said to
myself it was a good idea.

Are you interested or
should I call it off?

No.

I can't do more than three, except five.

Five is the max.

10.

10, are you completely mad?

It's crazy, this guy...

Six, six, okay, six?

That's funny because a
6 is and upside down 9.

Yeah, right.

That is so funny.

Knock yourself out.

You know what?

You keep your nine and
can slip you seven.

My last offer.

You know I can't do more than seven!

Whoa!

♪ I am your genie. ♪

♪ Just wish and you will see. ♪

♪ Nothing's too big for me. ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm his genie. ♪

Hey.

I'm his genie...

Hey hey hey.

What's that?

What are you doing?

It's tradition.

Genies sing when they
offer a service to a human.

Give me a G, give me an E, give me an N.

I'm the man, I'll say it again.

Who's the guy...

Whoa!

What do you want?

You don't have to
put on a halftime show.

There's no one here.

Hmm, okay.

My plan is unwrapping brilliantly.

My nephew is very much
liked by the Sultan,

he will soon take the
princess as his wife.

I sent her flowers, but nevertheless...

You're talking to
yourself again, aren't you?

No, I think I've got
it, it's all I've had.

What?

Nothing.

He's nuts.

Here, come here.

You hang around so I
don't have to look for you

if I need to discuss anything.

The Sultan spoke of his...

Listen, just once
thing before we continue.

I thought, seeing that
we're plotting and all that,

perhaps we could have some
fun by playing a prank

and scaring them all with us.

No.

The Sultan spoke to his daughter

and she accepted your marriage proposal,

and in keeping with tradition,

she is required to
consummate the relationship

a week before the wedding.

Oh, that's fun.

Strange, but fun.

Before you choose
your first wish Aladdin,

you have to be aware of
your own significance.

Have your own startling influence.

Yes my lord, you have power!

The power to change the world.

The power to eradicate
plagues with a simple wish.

The power to make people happy.

Oh my lord, hallelujah!

Okay okay.

I get it, I get it.

I know what I want.

Go on.

You ready?

Uh huh.

What I want for my first wish...

What is it?

Nothing, no.

Not a thing.

Okay.

For my second wish.

Mmhm.

Kill the Vizier.

You cannot take a life
away by using a wish.

Impossible, sorry.

Okay, so I wanna go home, to Baghdad.

Super, where about in Baghdad?

What's the address?

In Benrodan.

Yes, okay but which road.

You live on which road?

What is the number?

Ah, well it all depends.

Sometimes I sleep on the main road

or the side roads.

Is that so?

So you're saying you
don't have a house then?

Yeah.

I hear you.

Wow.

Right, I have a great suggestion

for only one extra wish.

It's really nothing.

I'll make you a little lovely palace

on the outskirts of town.

Something real simple.

No.

Oh come on.

All my life I'm inside the cursed

and I don't wanna end up in the street.

I'll give it to you.

You see the palace I
pulled out of a hat?

Now, my room, my rules, my brother.

I don't wanna see
underwear on the floor.

No stinking socks, okay?

None of that.

We need to keep this pad clean

and just once, maybe one night
I'll bring back one lady,

two ladies, three ladies...

I'd love to see that beautiful stranger.

Who am I kidding?

A beautiful stranger?

Ooh.

Wow, wow, whoa.

That's a brunette

and a beauty.

Yeah?

That's a brunette with some curves.

Wow, that's...

Give me that you useless...

Track!

Is this one you're talking about?

My love, that's her.

Hey, you really are a genie.

And you're a real Aladdin.

Princess, the Sultan, your father,

offers you Camel, a unic,

to help you prepare for your wedding.

Camel Toe, at your service princess.

What is it princess?

I may be resigned to
marrying the Vizier's nephew,

but I still think of
the handsome stranger

dead in the desert.

Alas, his facial features
fade in my memory.

As well, I am inexperienced
in love making.

Your first time.

Tell me everything about it.

Princess, you offend him.

I remain chased from a man's touch.

You fool.

The princess, my
beloved is the princess.

That cost you one wish.

She didn't forget me?

No, but she thinks you're dead.

On the other hand, she's marrying
the nephew of the Vizier.

No, it's impossible.

She doesn't wanna marry someone else.

We're destined to be together.

I hate the Vizier.

I'll make him regret the
day he pulled us apart.

I hear the anger.

Let it out.

Say evil Vizier.

Evil Vizier.

Evil Vizier.

Evil Vizier.

Evil Vizier.

Evil Vizier.

Evil Vizier.

Evil Vizier!

Evil Vizier.

Evil Vizier!

Evil Vizier.

When you reign over,

I mean, when I reign over Baghdad here,

I shall raise all of
the southwest quarter

in order to build an
immense shopping center,

because between us, the markets...

And what about those that live there?

Well, I have a resettlement plan.

Each family has a right to
access the property for free,

because at the end of the
day, location is everything.

Yeah.

Sorry, I can't keep a straight face.

No, we chuck them out
and sell them as slaves

in another foreign country.

Right?

Isn't that great.

Yes.

I fell for it.

Yes you did.

I got you good didn't I?

And they say you have no sense of humor.

Who said that?

No one.

Okay.

I have to find a way
to stop this wedding.

I could make you invisible.

Yeah?

You think that would work?

Well you could go to the public baths.

Yeah?

To look at naked girls.

And we slip around the back,

they go whoa my word, what's going on?

Daddy's back!

The princess's wedding celebration
is happening tonight.

You're right, my bad.

I could use a wish to cast a spell

on the Vizier's nephew.

Every single time that
evil Vizier's nephew

is in the presence of the princess,

evil Vizier's nephew will
just see her as ugly,

and repugnant.

Excellent

Ugly and repugnant.

That's what you just said.

You said she's ugly and repugnant.

Aren't those synonyms?

Alright.

Am I early?

I know Khalid, that customs are customs,

but I want you to know
that I would prefer

that we get to know each
other, taking our time.

Yes, of course.

Myself, I'm very much
in favor of customs.

Are you hungry?

I took the liberty of
ordering some sushi.

Listen, I have no desire of food.

Khalid,

let's not get ahead of ourselves.

On the contrary,

I'm looking forward to
seeing you without your veil.

Come to me.

Is there a problem?

No, no, no, no,

but you're right.

We should demean this by
just jumping on each other.

We can talk, no rush.

We're not animals.

Yes, I agree,

but that said, we don't
need to be so far apart

to talk to each other.

Yes of course,

I'm just having a look around.

Cool designs, oriental are they?

What's going on?

You sound uncomfortable all of a sudden.

Perhaps I can take off my veil

and you we'll find it easier to relax.

No, that's okay.

What do I have to do
to get your passion?

What happened in there?

Have I made a mistake with you?

Are you just a con artist?

Not at all uncle.

The princess, she is, how should I say?

Disgusting.

Can a dove be forgetting
in the sight of your eyes?

Pardon?

Are you blinded?

No, no.

Shut up, you're of no use to me.

You're useless.

Uncle, I was just having bad patch.

I'm certain I can complete this for you.

Tatonka.

The nephew is not able
to honor the princess.

Yes!

Now, find a way to let the people know

that a very wealthy
prince is coming to town.

I shall go tell them myself.

The people need some hope.

Poyeh is hope.

Pocahontas!

I made up the ending.

The middle too.

Shalia open this door

or I will be forced to
behead your servant!

I haven't heard that before.

Father, I beg of you.

Leave me alone with my sorrow and shame.

Get those bad thoughts out of your mind.

In living memory,

no one has ever seen a
beauty such as yours.

Majesty, I have received...

Oh you be quiet.

Your nephew humiliate my daughter.

I am inconsolable.

What was that?

No idea.

Oh the stroke of luck.

- Oh a coin.
- Ah, a coin yes.

It's a coin.

Hey Rababa, cover for me while I'm gone.

Huh?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Baghdad, here I come!

And I'm the one that gets beheaded.

Oh, they want me.

You have one hanging out.

Nuts.

Thanks.

Excuse me my friend.

Where are they going?

We're all going to a meeting,

organized by the emissary
of the young prince

who they say is very rich.

Young master, the young prince

who they say is very rich,

will ask for the princess's
hand in marriage.

Is that your news?

He's not the first prince

to try for her hand in marriage.

Granted, but my prince is different.

He comes to present
you a brand new idea.

A democracy.

So what is democracy?

It is an idea

where an individual can flourish,

but so doing,

contributing to the well
being of the community!

By paying a single, annual tax!

Uh, excuse me.

Just a little question here.

Okay.

Yes, good evening.

Just on which tariff will
we have to pay this new tax?

Am I right?

Yes right.

Good question.

It's true.

A very good question
young man of Baghdad.

This tax will be calculated

based on each person's income.

But democracy's not just about taxes.

Democracy above all is
liberty of expression.

Freedom of speech.

Everyone can speak their
mind as long as they

continue to respect
the rights of others.

Uh excuse me.

Yes.

Mister emissary, one more thing.

Just emissary is fine.

Could you please spell
the word democracy?

What?

And then can we move on?

Yes, yes, that would help.

Okay.

D.E.

Oh wait.

M.O.C.R.A.C. and Y.

There you are.

So a democracy is...

Emissary, wasn't it democatsie?

With a T?

You see?

I had written it down that way.

It's exactly what I wrote.

Yes, it's pronounced democracy,

and you can't write it with a T.

Well then put two S's in it.

It's easier.

No one cares about that.

No otherwise it's...

What about just an S.

Then it's democrasy!

Khalid had no more room
to make a mistake.

His life and his manhood
were at stake here.

How's it going floppy dick?

We'll see who's floppy dick.

Hey floppy dick.

Princess, it's Khalid!

Listen, I wasn't feeling so great,

but I'm doing a lot better now.

Come on, open up princess, please.

I don't wanna see anyone.

Listen to me, I'll break down the door!

You've been nothing but a headache

since you got here.

Oh I'm so sorry.

I thought we were all free
to speak in a democrazy!

Yes, everyone is free
to speak in a democracy.

That's the principle.

Everyone except you!

Shut up!

You're not very patient.

What do I have to do to get rid of you?

You're dragging this debate

down to simple spelling.

You're all oppressed, suffering people

that have absolutely nothing...

Just knock it off!

Now what?

I can't stand any more of these people.

I'm sorry,

but I don't want to stand
and hear such dribble.

How do you spell that?

I am again sorry,

but I cannot believe
the fine folk of Baghdad

have had unhappy.

No.

You're just as blind as the princess,

secluded in the palace.

That was a little harsh.

No, no, no, let her talk.

Maybe the princess...

No, no wait, just wait.

I was going to buy you a drink.

Or two.

I'm never going to score in this film.

Calm down.

You are aware that one in
five men have a little problem

before they reach 35.

It's very common.

What a divine scent.

Your royal skin exalts the
smell of a thousand gardens.

Khalid...

Let me just kiss you.

Not here.

Okay, no problem.

No, I mean not here in this bedroom.

Yes, for sure.

I know a little secret
place unknown to anybody.

We'll be more relaxed there.

But if it's secret and
unknown to everybody,

how come you know about it?

Okay either we talk about it

and keep calling you floppy
dick for the next 10 years,

or you shut up and follow me.

Okay let's go.

Spread the word, spread the word.

Spread the word, spread the word.

Spread the word, spread the word.

Spread the word.

Spread the word.

Spread the word.

Hey there.

Doing good?

Your majesty, I implore you to distrust

these young adventurers who
are passing themselves off

as princes.

We must protect the princess.

Go protect your own family.

I must say, I'm intrigued
to meet this prince.

Shh!

And here is the young prince

who they say is so rich.

Young prince, it's cool.

So you are the one who claims

he can reduce our people's suffering.

How are the people suffering?

What'd she say?

You would know if it was important.

And I see nothing but a smooth talker,

but it's all talk.

I agree with the princess.

Is that eye makeup a ploy
to gain the hand of a lady

desired by every prince in the region?

I've heard stories of your
nephews modest performance.

I certainly don't have that issue.

What's that?

That's the new fire security system.

It just triggered.

Some smoke somewhere I suppose.

Are they everywhere?

Yes.

In the bedrooms too?

The bedrooms, it depends.

It has to be over 40 square feet.

It's a miracle.

We can change that.

Look, listen to this.

You take a kid, any kid
from today who says...

Oh, excuse me a second.

Um yes?

As it may, it seems to
me that you young prince,

will not suit the princess.

So that's it.

You're a prince?

Yes.

That's that's very true.

The tradition of many generations.

My father was a prince,

my grandfather was also a prince.

Yes, yes, we know he's a prince,

but down to brass tax.

Are you really, so rich?

Pardon, I don't think I
quite heard what you said.

Would you please be

the son I never had.

No, no.

I don't think so sire,

but what could you offer
that is exceptional,

for she already has everything
as a token of your love.

Let her majesty make a wish.

Any wish at all,

and I, her humble servant
will grant it forth with.

You're at a loss for words then?

True, I wasn't expecting such questions.

He wasn't expecting such questions.

A horse with wings.

A new racing car.

An iPad with all the games.

A machine that gives out free candy.

A machine that gives out free candy!

A machine that gives out free candy!

A machine that gives out free candy!

A machine that gives out free candy!

Mm.

The Sultan would like

a machine that gives out free candy.

So there.

Like this machine here?

Yes.

It's the most beautiful
machine in the world.

It's evil sorcery.

Shut up for once.

Until next time.

Oh yes princess.

To describe in a few words,

what a divine day I just had,

I exploded!

And chocolates, do you have chocolate?

Yes, of course madam.

Daughter.

Wahoo, We are going to party!

Princess.

Thank you.

Mm, they're good.

This will make my father very happy.

Who is that?

The princess.

The princess.

Has anyone seen Rababa anywhere?

I've been looking all over for her.

Of course.

I boned the servant.

The Vizier and Khalid
met in a secret place,

unknown to anyone for a secret
meeting, unknown to anyone.

So this is the secret unknown
place that everyone knows?

Listen to me.

The princess is going
to marry the prince

they say is so rich,

and he looks smart.

Yeah, just ask the servant.

What?

Nothing.

I've been thinking,

a prince wedding.

No more prince, no more wedding.

You will eliminate this prince.

So when you say that
you've been thinking...

Uh Genie, any chance
you could stop sulking

and pop out for a minute?

Nah, because mister Aladdin
prefers to see sing on his own

in his chariot without me.

I don't wanna get in the way.

Unless you wanna use
your last wish for that.

Nah, it's okay.

I just wanna have a talk with you.

A quick discussion, like friends.

Like buddies?

Because when I'm prince,

I won't have much time for that.

When I'm prince, I won't
have much time for that.

Oh enough already.

You're the only genie I know
who likes being in his lamp.

You're the only genie I know

who likes being in his lamp.

Okay, so the genie's a big wuss.

Okay so the genie's a big wuss.

Wait, he who smelt it dealt it!

I think we'll find out who's a big wuss.

It was you?

Pardon you.

Look at this.

I'm sorry, but each and
every day I'm thinking,

who is this.

Was it you?

Yes it was you.

Except I cannot get a yes or no.

Do you consider it to be today's work?

I know what your big con is.

I'll take my lamp.

Thank you very much.

Aladdin?

Aladdin, it's me Khalid!

Khalid?

It's you.

So here I am in the palace.

It's crazy, it's enormous, and
the Sultan, the big fat guy

eats non stop.

I'm getting buried in this place.

I'm supposed to find this lamp,

because I'm skinny.

Then I slide like this.

I'm the man with the plan
and I'm flashing the cash.

I like doing it all the time, but...

But what?

I don't get why you
wanna marry the princess.

I've tried my luck with her

and she was gross.

Khalid, I told you already.

I used one of my wishes to
make her look gross to you.

So it's because of you

the whole palace calls me floppy dick?

Yeah!

Don't worry bro.

You and I will put an end to
the Vizier and his evil doings.

Traitors.

Vizier, who gave you the right?

You'd do well to get the hell out.

May I remind you, I'm the
Sultan's guest of honor.

Wrong.

The prince they say is so rich,

is the Sultan's honored guest,

and not a vulgar thief called Ali Baba.

Aladdin.

Not a vulgar thief called Aladdin.

The teller of such untruths
is nothing less than a...

A magician?

I said I'd see you again.

Hey, he's the one I was
telling you about earlier.

That's the guy.

The crap magician with
the wondering hands.

That's not true.

It wasn't me.

Yeah it's you.

Now I've earned the death

and the nights get a bit lonely.

Okay that's enough.

Guards, arrest them.

Who us?

Yes you.

Yes.

Khalid, the lamp.

Khalid!

Huh?

Hand over the lamp floppy dick!

Thank you.

What?

I just invented laughing.

See kids?

Stealing's no good,

and neither is lying.

You can't base a relationship on a lie.

So that's how Aladdin
lost princess Shalia.

But Santa's the story's not over.

There has to be fight with the Vizier.

Is the princess still a princess?

And Khalid's a nice guy again?

We wanna hear the end of the story.

End of story.

End of story.

End of story.

End of story.

Yes, you need an end.

Aladdin, Aladdin, is that you?

Princess?

Are you alright?

I heard a scream.

Not me.

It must've been a guard.

So what's new?

The Vizier is having you
executed in the morning.

Yeah.

Princess,

I just have to tell you that

you don't know who I really am.

I know.

Princess, I should
never have lied to you.

If I failed you, or betrayed your...

You need to leave
the kingdom right away.

Yeah.

Okay, cool.

No.

It's not possible.

I need the lamp back from the
Vizier to liberate Baghdad

from his hold.

You'll never get near the Vizier.

But he won't suspect me.

Huh?

No!

Princess!

Oh, that kiss was awesome.

Slide to unlock.

Why doesn't it work?

Aladdin has blocked the lamp.

You'll need a code.

Go and hypnotize Aladdin
and get the code from him,

then I'll become master of the lamp.

I wouldn't lie to you,

but hypnosis isn't my thing.

What are you good at?

Shh!

We're plotting like young boys.

What could go wrong?

Vizier?

What is this surprise visit for?

I'm tired of hanging out with Khalid

and that Aladdin.

They're children.

Too immature.

Intriguing princess.

Nobody seems up to it.

How did you arrive at this conclusion?

You know the story of floppy dick.

Indeed.

So I may one day, take the throne.

I'll need a man, who's
powerful, but tender too.

♪ I'm feeling sexy ♪

♪ I wanna hear you say my name boy ♪

♪ If you can reach me ♪

♪ You can feel my burning flame ♪

♪ Feeling kind of horny ♪

♪ I might just take
you home with me baby ♪

♪ The minute I feel your energy ♪

♪ The vibe is just taking over me ♪

♪ Start feeling so crazy, baby ♪

♪ Lately, I feel the
funk coming over me ♪

♪ I don't know what's gotten into me ♪

♪ The rhythm's got me
feelin' so crazy babe ♪

♪ Tonight I'll be your naughty girl ♪

♪ I'm callin' all my girls ♪

♪ We're gonna turn this party... ♪

Yes!

No.

Aladdin, Aladdin.

I'm sorry bro.

You're forgiven.

Huh?

Aladdin...

Quick!

You cannot escape me.

My father will have you beheaded.

Think rather of your head.

Put the princess on
the floor, very slowly.

Unhand the Vizier.

Is there anyone else there?

Uh, no, I'm the last.

Give me the...

Wait, aren't you dead?

Love is stronger than death.

Stop.

What we had was strong Vizier.

Enough.

Me?

Yes.

Right now?

That's it.

This way?

You've got it.

See you later?

Just go.

Go, go!

You stop, stop.

Give me the code to release the genie.

Release the princess.

Good idea.

No!

No, don't let her go.

I need to know, let go or not?

No I mean, yes no,
just don't let her go.

Then give me the code.

No Aladdin.

Officially you've
just killed the princess

because she refused your love.

No!

It's really a shame.

You could've made better
use of that idiot Khalid.

huh?

Traitor.

I treated you as a son.

More like a nephew.

Khalid!

Khalid.

Khalid!

I'll destroy you now.

Then I shall wipe out that
great big sausage of a Sultan,

and then I shall reign
supreme over the land,

do you hear?

Yes, I hear you.

Ah, my dear friend the Sultan.

You're gonna laugh, I was just.

Don't listen to him highness.

There's your traitor!

Enough.

You will now behead Robaba.

What for?

I'm sorry, it's become a habit.

I think so, every time
you're upset it's my fault.

How do you think I feel?

Guards, take the Vizier prisoner!

Never!

Hey, alright, alright, alright.

Just a second.

Just a second.

Just a second.

So, the Vizier flies away
using his magic carpet.

Aladdin quickly grabs another
flying carpet from the floor

of the Vizier's chamber,

jumps on it, and races in hot pursuit.

The Vizier flies over a house.

Aladdin flies right behind him.

The Aladdin jumps right on
top of the Vizier's carpet.

There's a huge fight.

Ooh ooh, pow pow.

The Vizier laughs, hahahaha!

He grabs the sword, but it's stuck.

So he's pulling it like this
and it looks really silly,

so he gives up on the sword
and he tried to grab Aladdin,

but when he grabs him,

Aladdin goes bang and dodges the Vizier

left and right and left and right,

dodging he throws
everything he throws at him.

The Vizier catches Aladdin and says,

"You will know my secret weapon."

Aladdin says, "Bring it on."

And he goes...

The Vizier had such bad
breath that Aladdin fainted.

He fell on his carpet.

But luckily Aladdin is smart.

He jumps down to his
won carpet just below,

he grabs a thread of
the Vizier's carpet,

pulls it and it unravels

causing the Vizier to
go sailing downwards,

then go like this.

Crashing on the ground.

If they make a film of Aladdin,

that's the sort of scene I'd
love to go see in the cinema.

Oh yeah?

Uh huh.

I don't like

when there's too many
special effects in a film.

Suddenly...

Aladdin, you are very courageous.

We two could reign over Baghdad.

Join me on the dark side.

Where's that?

Just over there.

Can't really see very much, can you?

Where are you going with this exactly?

It was more to show you
I too was born into poverty

in a suburb in Baghdad.

I started in street
shows to make a living.

You see, we're not so
different, you and I.

We're very different.

We have nothing in common.

Aladdin, I am your father.

What?

Yes.

I am your father.

No.

Yes.

No.

No.

No!

Hold on.

My father died when I was a kid.

I remember what he looked like.

You're awful.

Who does that?

Okay, you got me.

I got you?

It's okay, you don't like the idea.

We're not stuck on the concept.

No, actually if you
had said I'm your cousin,

or I'm you're uncle, or even
your uncle through marriage.

Now prepare to die.

Vizier hold on.

What is it?

I'm your son.

It's not true.

Yeah.

So it's true.

I knew it.

What can I say?

Come give me a hug my son.

Papa.

You made fun of my plan!

I'm your father, you're my son.

It seems to have worked for you.

In Baghdad, Khalid had been
once again, saved.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Welcome, it's my job.

I'm a doctor.

And that line, "yes, I'm your son!"

and you aren't!

Nope.

Excellent.

You know, I'm very proud of you.

You managed to beat the Vizier,

and you didn't use my magic.

Because I had to keep my last wish.

Correct.

You have one wish.

So tell me, do you want to
be a prince all of your life?

Or you could fix your teeth,

they're somewhat.

I already know.

Okay cool.

Command and I obey.

For my last wish.

Yes.

I'm gonna grant you
liberty, my good friend.

You...

What?

Careful Aladdin, don't fool with me.

Don't fool with me because
it'll break my heart.

I...

Come on, if you start crying,

I'm gonna start too.

You don't know how to cry do you?

Huh?

You don't know how to cry.

No.

Still, not good.

I'm just discovering emotions.

I'm free!

You're free now.

Whoa!

What?

I mean,

you gave up all your
splendor to appear like this?

Whoa, okay right.

Don't give me that vibe.

What's up?

Listen my friend.

This is me here.

This is how I am now.

Like this.

It doesn't make you a prince

having smart clothes and a
blow dry, blah, blah, blah.

It's in your head now, in
your heart, soul, and mind.

On my mother's life you run around here

and think that you're respected
due to the cool threads?

No, it's because you
have charisma, okay?

I don't care about charisma.

I dumped it, I'm pure sunshine.

I was in love long ago.

I got too close to her,

and poof, I was dumped,

and you see, she really
didn't care about me,

the real me.

Take away the clothes and
look for the good in people.

Look for respect.

I think you'll see,
if people respect you,

then you are the prince, honestly.

You are, in my eyes.

I respect you.

All this fancy hair and things,

so what?

Is that fair?

Fair.

Up top.

Okay we're brothers and all,

but that's a bit too high for me.

Sultan, I'm here today before you,

to show you...

Sam.

What are you doing?

Huh?

What are you doing?

Sorry kids.

The other Santa will
finish the story for you.

What?

What?

Hey!

Don't leave me.

We can do this hit together.

Hey, if you don't finish
the story, you're fired.

Sorry.

Hey mister other Santa.

What do you want little albino?

Could you tell us how
the story ends please?

Excuse me.

Hey!

Barbara?

Hm?

Could you go get some
ice cubes from the freezer

in the garage please?

Okay, but I'm not the help.

You go get some ice cubes.

Please?

Okay I'll go.

Sophia, it pains me
to see you like this.

Sam doesn't make you happy.

You should come with me
for a week to my chalet

in the mountains.

Lots of skiing, a little tennis.

Hey, are you trying
to seduce my daughter?

Did you bring the
company financial statement

I asked for?

When did you start
caring about finances?

Yes, who cares?

You're right.

And you, your stock trader is
working Christmas eve I guess?

Well father it's complicated.

It's not complicated.

It's Christmas.

Look who I found outside.

Good evening.

Did you tell him to dress like that?

Father...

Sophia, can I talk to you?

Listen.

I don't actually work in finance.

I sleep at your place
because I'm homeless.

My place has been condemned for a year,

and I never funded a
food program in Africa.

I wasn't nominated for a
Nobel prize in finance.

Telling kids stories
in a department store

is good work.

Hi.

Khalid, what is it?

I'm hopeless with telling stories

and they wouldn't go
without hearing the end.

Hi!

Hi Sabrina.

Barbara.

I love you.

You do?

Santa?

Go ahead and finish the story right now.

Shh, calm down.

It's all good.

Shh, alright now,

okay.

Here's how the story ends.

Okay.

Sultan, I'm here today before you

to show you that I'm really just

just a petty thief in
the suburbs of Baghdad.

We are not worried about that.

You're rich or not?

I have no money.

Oh great...

Riches have no meaning to me father.

If he's noble and he's honest,

and respects my love.

Yes, I'm very noble.

Yes, but what was it you wanted...

Honesty.

Honesty, honesty.

I'm noble anyway.

Then the Sultan stood up,

or not.

And he...

I'll tell the end, if you'd like.

Well, the Sultan stood up.

And said.

If my daughter truly
wants to marry this modest,

but brave Aladdin, who freed
us from the scoundrel Vizier,

may it be as she wishes.

The happy couple.

Oh come on, stop sulking.

Alright, let's go inside everyone.

The food's in there

and it will be new
years eve at this rate.

Khalid, my brother.

Hey, how'd you convince all
the parents to bring their kids

down here?

Parents?

You didn't ask the parents you idiot?

Hey, what do you mean
I didn't ask the parents.

It's like kidnapping!

How was I supposed to know.

They're gonna put us in jail!

You would do anything different?

I'm supposed to do everything?

I swear I'm gonna kill you!

I hate you!

You had a request?

Yes.

I'm listening.

Shalia, I am your father.

Hey, I gave it my best shot.

Hey papa, come here!

No, no, no, it's not worth it really.

It's not worth the trouble at all.

Come here.

It's not, please.

No, no need, it's alright.

Yes.

Hello.

Go on, please.

Vizier, Vizier, Vizier, do it!

Shalia I am your father.

What a goon!

Stop!

Stand aside.

Vizier,

I am your father.

Father?

I have a joke for you.

Ah.

Shalia,

I am your father.

Yes, I know.

It doesn't seem to work for me.