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1
00:00:03,950 --> 00:00:06,189
You know, I thought 500
bucks for four sessions
2
00:00:06,190 --> 00:00:07,490
was kind of a rip-off,
3
00:00:07,491 --> 00:00:09,425
but I think this music class
is really helping my son
4
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,794
get his foot in the door
of the music industry.
5
00:00:11,795 --> 00:00:13,729
Now, don't be afraid to
share your instruments,
6
00:00:13,730 --> 00:00:15,031
little buddies.
7
00:00:15,032 --> 00:00:18,334
In music, networking is
just as important as talent.
8
00:00:18,335 --> 00:00:19,869
I see it as an investment.
9
00:00:19,870 --> 00:00:21,237
This is a great extra-curricular
10
00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:23,606
for Gratitude's
preschool applications.
11
00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:25,441
Where's Leo applying?
12
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,210
Preschool? Look at him.
13
00:00:27,211 --> 00:00:28,611
He's just a little
blob with eyes.
14
00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:30,479
You mean you haven't started
15
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:33,082
the preschool
application process yet?
16
00:00:33,083 --> 00:00:34,550
Dana and I started
looking at schools
17
00:00:34,551 --> 00:00:36,919
before the pregnancy test
even came back positive
18
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:38,654
for little Sriracha.
19
00:00:38,655 --> 00:00:40,089
Why would I spend
money on private school
20
00:00:40,090 --> 00:00:41,557
when public school is free?
21
00:00:41,558 --> 00:00:44,460
I mean, why else am
I sometimes paying my taxes?
22
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:45,928
Public school.
23
00:00:45,929 --> 00:00:48,564
Is Leo's father a politician
trying to seem less white?
24
00:00:48,565 --> 00:00:49,799
Okay, you know what?
25
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,334
I went to public school
and I turned out amazing.
26
00:00:51,335 --> 00:00:53,836
It's also where I learned
how to throw a knife.
27
00:00:53,837 --> 00:00:56,305
Yeah, public school is fine.
28
00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:58,174
- It's fine.
- Hm.
29
00:00:58,175 --> 00:01:01,143
I want the best for
little Gratitude.
30
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,345
That's why we're applying to
31
00:01:02,346 --> 00:01:04,480
Little Doorways Academy
for Ethical Children.
32
00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:05,948
Little Doorways? Wut dat?
33
00:01:05,949 --> 00:01:08,784
Well, for one thing,
it's the only preschool in Manhattan
34
00:01:08,785 --> 00:01:10,253
that offers study abroad.
35
00:01:10,254 --> 00:01:12,088
And it's
the hardest to get into.
36
00:01:12,089 --> 00:01:15,391
Let's just say the waitlist
is Jay-Z's hundredth problem.
37
00:01:15,392 --> 00:01:17,727
Whoa, I love exclusive things.
38
00:01:17,728 --> 00:01:20,896
It's probably too late for
Leo to apply this year.
39
00:01:20,897 --> 00:01:22,198
But don't worry.
He's a bright kid.
40
00:01:22,199 --> 00:01:23,866
He'll land on his
feet somewhere.
41
00:01:23,867 --> 00:01:25,001
Damn right he's a bright kid,
42
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:26,902
and he can get into
that fancy school easy.
43
00:01:26,903 --> 00:01:28,371
Everybody loves Leo.
44
00:01:28,372 --> 00:01:30,940
Doctor Lahiri, Leo needs to go.
45
00:01:30,941 --> 00:01:33,276
He keeps pinching
the other babies' butts.
46
00:01:33,277 --> 00:01:35,011
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
47
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,479
He gets that from me.
48
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,748
We're not supposed to
do that in public, okay?
49
00:01:38,749 --> 00:01:41,751
[hip-hop music]
50
00:01:41,752 --> 00:01:45,752
51
00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,053
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
52
00:01:58,057 --> 00:01:59,725
Tamra. Tamra.
53
00:01:59,726 --> 00:02:01,493
I went to that stupid music
class you recommended,
54
00:02:01,494 --> 00:02:02,561
and it was terrible.
55
00:02:02,562 --> 00:02:03,896
All the moms made me feel bad,
56
00:02:03,897 --> 00:02:05,431
and the teacher
publicly shamed me.
57
00:02:05,432 --> 00:02:08,100
Derek told me you shamed
yourself by not having PayPal.
58
00:02:08,101 --> 00:02:10,936
You wrote him a check
and it took forever.
59
00:02:10,937 --> 00:02:12,805
Guys, all of the moms there
had their kids signed up
60
00:02:12,806 --> 00:02:14,640
for elite preschools
years in advance.
61
00:02:14,641 --> 00:02:16,708
I don't even know what
I'm having for lunch.
62
00:02:16,709 --> 00:02:17,976
Now I'm remembering.
63
00:02:17,977 --> 00:02:19,745
Both: Three cheeseburgers,
extra shred lett.
64
00:02:19,746 --> 00:02:21,013
What does Dr. C think?
65
00:02:21,014 --> 00:02:22,481
Doesn't he want
Leo to go to like,
66
00:02:22,482 --> 00:02:25,017
the Immaculate Academy of
the Sacred Meatball or whatever?
67
00:02:25,018 --> 00:02:27,419
Danny would love him to go to
Catholic school, but no way.
68
00:02:27,420 --> 00:02:29,054
You've heard what those
priests do, right?
69
00:02:29,055 --> 00:02:31,490
- Yeah.
- They take a vow of poverty.
70
00:02:31,491 --> 00:02:32,991
I'm not going to
expose my son to that.
71
00:02:32,992 --> 00:02:34,359
Well, look,
if you do decide on prep school
72
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:36,462
you'd better make
a move sharp-ish.
73
00:02:36,463 --> 00:02:38,430
I was already at Essex
at two months old.
74
00:02:38,431 --> 00:02:41,166
By Leo's age I was already
singing our school's song,
75
00:02:41,167 --> 00:02:45,103
Cry not for mother,
books are your parents now
76
00:02:45,104 --> 00:02:46,738
Okay, but is private
school that much better
77
00:02:46,739 --> 00:02:47,906
than public school?
78
00:02:47,907 --> 00:02:49,775
I went to public
school and I loved it.
79
00:02:49,776 --> 00:02:51,443
And watching that girl
give birth at prom
80
00:02:51,444 --> 00:02:53,412
is what made me want
to be an obstetrician.
81
00:02:53,413 --> 00:02:54,713
Don't worry, Dr. L.
82
00:02:54,714 --> 00:02:57,015
I went to public school
and I turned out great too.
83
00:02:57,016 --> 00:03:00,319
Oh, by the way,
your 2:00 canceled.
84
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:03,589
No, no, no... ah.
85
00:03:03,590 --> 00:03:05,157
- What?
- Okay, guys,
86
00:03:05,158 --> 00:03:07,560
I've got to get my son into
Little Doorways no matter what.
87
00:03:09,653 --> 00:03:12,064
There you are. Please tell me
you're free tomorrow evening.
88
00:03:12,065 --> 00:03:14,166
Anne-Marie's visiting
and she wants to take us to dinner.
89
00:03:14,167 --> 00:03:16,134
Whoa, Anne-Marie?
90
00:03:16,135 --> 00:03:19,137
The one you...
respect boundaries with?
91
00:03:19,138 --> 00:03:20,772
Listen, you're going to have
to take her out by yourself.
92
00:03:20,773 --> 00:03:22,908
I've got my bowling
championship tomorrow night.
93
00:03:22,909 --> 00:03:24,943
The Gutter Belles
are in the finals.
94
00:03:24,944 --> 00:03:25,978
- [screams]
- I know!
95
00:03:25,979 --> 00:03:27,246
Are you kidding?
96
00:03:27,247 --> 00:03:29,548
Yeah, Ellen Page is doing
a documentary on us.
97
00:03:29,549 --> 00:03:32,618
I better go grease
up my finger-holes.
98
00:03:32,619 --> 00:03:35,454
- Hey, I'm really proud of you.
- Thank you.
99
00:03:35,455 --> 00:03:37,289
Isn't Anne-Marie
your sister-in-law
100
00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:38,690
who you slept with?
101
00:03:38,691 --> 00:03:39,958
You can't have dinner
with her by yourself.
102
00:03:39,959 --> 00:03:40,959
There's not enough
suspenders in the world
103
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,294
to keep those pants up.
104
00:03:42,295 --> 00:03:43,729
Obviously Anne-Marie
cooked up this scheme
105
00:03:43,730 --> 00:03:45,364
so she could have
me all to herself.
106
00:03:45,365 --> 00:03:47,165
She won't be able to
keep her hands off me.
107
00:03:47,166 --> 00:03:48,800
We are like sexual dynamite.
108
00:03:48,801 --> 00:03:49,902
I can't hear about how women are
109
00:03:49,903 --> 00:03:51,370
sexually obsessed
with you anymore.
110
00:03:51,371 --> 00:03:53,405
I just know I cannot
resist this siren.
111
00:03:53,406 --> 00:03:55,274
I need someone to
tie me to the mast
112
00:03:55,275 --> 00:03:57,509
otherwise she will tempt
me and eat me alive.
113
00:03:57,510 --> 00:04:01,510
I need... a girlfriend.
114
00:04:02,215 --> 00:04:03,682
- No.
- Yes.
115
00:04:03,683 --> 00:04:06,718
No. I am tired of being used
to stop sex from happening.
116
00:04:06,719 --> 00:04:08,053
That's why the high
school principal
117
00:04:08,054 --> 00:04:09,988
made me room with the cool
kids on our trip to D.C.
118
00:04:09,989 --> 00:04:13,325
- But I need you.
- Jody, I can't.
119
00:04:13,326 --> 00:04:14,726
One, because I don't want to,
120
00:04:14,727 --> 00:04:16,828
two, because I have to
get my son into preschool.
121
00:04:16,829 --> 00:04:18,997
All right? And some of us
have more important things
122
00:04:18,998 --> 00:04:20,866
on our minds than sex.
123
00:04:20,867 --> 00:04:22,568
Who the hell ordered
a vibrating seat cushion
124
00:04:22,569 --> 00:04:24,269
with Oscar Isaac's face on it?
125
00:04:24,270 --> 00:04:26,205
That's mine,
put it in my office.
126
00:04:28,773 --> 00:04:30,943
Thank you so much.
Yeah, I'll make sure to wire you.
127
00:04:30,944 --> 00:04:32,044
Perfect.
128
00:04:32,045 --> 00:04:33,245
Catch you later, haters.
129
00:04:33,246 --> 00:04:35,447
Someone just bribed
a secretary at Little Doorways
130
00:04:35,448 --> 00:04:36,648
for an interview.
131
00:04:36,649 --> 00:04:38,150
Whoa whoa whoa whoa,
Mindy, Mindy, Mindy.
132
00:04:38,151 --> 00:04:39,952
Are you quite sure
you're fully prepared,
133
00:04:39,953 --> 00:04:41,386
because these
interviews can be tough.
134
00:04:41,387 --> 00:04:44,156
Yeah, I think I'm pretty
much gonna crush this.
135
00:04:44,157 --> 00:04:45,657
First of all,
I'm a female doctor, like,
136
00:04:45,658 --> 00:04:47,092
straight out of a sexist riddle.
137
00:04:47,093 --> 00:04:50,195
Second of all, I told them
that Danny was a little person,
138
00:04:50,196 --> 00:04:51,863
so they're gonna be touched.
We're golden.
139
00:04:51,864 --> 00:04:54,566
This is New York City, girl.
Everyone's story is impressive.
140
00:04:54,567 --> 00:04:57,269
My doorman used to be
the straight-up president of Greece.
141
00:04:57,270 --> 00:04:59,204
If it helps,
tell him you know me.
142
00:04:59,205 --> 00:05:02,207
Hey, guys, thank you
so much for all of your help,
143
00:05:02,208 --> 00:05:03,609
but I think I'll be fine
144
00:05:03,610 --> 00:05:06,178
because I still have
one card up my sleeve.
145
00:05:06,179 --> 00:05:08,046
The race card.
146
00:05:08,047 --> 00:05:10,549
Wait, what'd you say?
147
00:05:10,550 --> 00:05:12,384
Thank you for granting me
an interview so quickly.
148
00:05:12,385 --> 00:05:14,886
The gods surely must
be smiling on me today.
149
00:05:14,887 --> 00:05:16,455
You know,
I don't recall you having an accent
150
00:05:16,456 --> 00:05:17,656
when we spoke on the phone.
151
00:05:17,657 --> 00:05:19,825
Oh, God,
I didn't even notice it.
152
00:05:19,826 --> 00:05:22,694
That happens sometimes when
you're the child of immigrants.
153
00:05:22,695 --> 00:05:24,896
Well, as you know,
Little Doorways alums
154
00:05:24,897 --> 00:05:27,132
are exceptionally
high achievers.
155
00:05:27,133 --> 00:05:29,801
We've got some Rhodes
scholars and Nobel laureates,
156
00:05:29,802 --> 00:05:31,703
the talent Booker
for Jimmy Fallon.
157
00:05:31,704 --> 00:05:34,139
What? Are you kidding me?
158
00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:35,741
Okay, you know what?
I've heard enough.
159
00:05:35,742 --> 00:05:37,109
When can my son start?
160
00:05:37,110 --> 00:05:39,678
[chuckles] Oh, no, Dr. Lahiri.
161
00:05:39,679 --> 00:05:41,513
You're far from being accepted.
162
00:05:41,514 --> 00:05:43,682
We haven't even met
the child's father yet.
163
00:05:43,683 --> 00:05:47,683
Oh, um, I don't think
you're going to be able to.
164
00:05:48,121 --> 00:05:49,821
He's away for awhile.
165
00:05:49,822 --> 00:05:53,125
"Away for a little
while." I see.
166
00:05:53,126 --> 00:05:54,826
Yet another father
who's too busy
167
00:05:54,827 --> 00:05:57,462
to be involved in his
child's education.
168
00:05:57,463 --> 00:05:59,464
Perhaps you should try
something in Brooklyn.
169
00:05:59,465 --> 00:06:02,968
Oh, no, no, no.
Leo's dad is the over-involved one.
170
00:06:02,969 --> 00:06:04,369
I'm the checked-out parent.
171
00:06:04,370 --> 00:06:06,605
The other day I took home
the wrong kid from daycare.
172
00:06:06,606 --> 00:06:08,473
Please give my son a chance.
173
00:06:08,474 --> 00:06:11,476
Well, you do have another
chance to impress the committee.
174
00:06:11,477 --> 00:06:14,012
We're hosting a prospective
parents' night tomorrow.
175
00:06:14,013 --> 00:06:16,114
I strongly suggest you
bring Leo's father.
176
00:06:16,115 --> 00:06:17,849
But what if he won't
be back in time?
177
00:06:17,850 --> 00:06:19,651
He's across
the country taking care of
178
00:06:19,652 --> 00:06:21,219
a sick relative who he hates.
179
00:06:21,220 --> 00:06:23,288
We have a father who's
currently a prisoner of ISIS
180
00:06:23,289 --> 00:06:25,057
and he's planning
on coming tomorrow.
181
00:06:25,058 --> 00:06:26,191
You know what?
182
00:06:26,192 --> 00:06:27,292
We're definitely both
going to be there.
183
00:06:27,293 --> 00:06:30,630
So really excited.
184
00:06:32,899 --> 00:06:36,069
[phone vibrates]
185
00:06:38,671 --> 00:06:39,671
[door knocks]
186
00:06:39,672 --> 00:06:41,039
Hey, cool guy.
187
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:42,307
I need you to come to
an event with me tomorrow night
188
00:06:42,308 --> 00:06:44,009
and pretend to be Leo's father.
189
00:06:44,010 --> 00:06:46,278
Like a farce?
I love a good farce.
190
00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:48,113
Oh, yeah.
191
00:06:48,114 --> 00:06:50,082
At my university's
production of "Noises Off,"
192
00:06:50,083 --> 00:06:52,651
I played "Man
who passes out programs."
193
00:06:52,652 --> 00:06:54,619
I just need you to pretend
that you're married to me
194
00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:56,521
and help me charm
a very intimidating older woman
195
00:06:56,522 --> 00:06:58,557
into letting my son
into a fancy preschool.
196
00:06:58,558 --> 00:07:00,759
Hold on.
This is for Little Doorways?
197
00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:01,893
Oh, then I can't do it.
198
00:07:01,894 --> 00:07:04,029
That would be infidelity
to my Alma mater,
199
00:07:04,030 --> 00:07:08,030
The Essex School
for Unloved Boys.
200
00:07:09,435 --> 00:07:11,703
I couldn't help but eavesdrop.
I would love to be your date.
201
00:07:11,704 --> 00:07:14,673
I do an amazing Dr. C. Check it.
202
00:07:14,674 --> 00:07:17,442
[bad Italian accent] Bongiorno,
my name is Dr. C.
203
00:07:17,443 --> 00:07:21,213
I hug and I kiss you.
Morgan is my best-a friend.
204
00:07:21,214 --> 00:07:24,015
- Stop, stop.
- Sorry.
205
00:07:24,016 --> 00:07:26,351
That sounds exactly like Danny.
206
00:07:26,352 --> 00:07:28,854
Honestly, you should be
on "Saturday Night Live."
207
00:07:28,855 --> 00:07:31,323
- Thank you.
- But you can't come with me.
208
00:07:31,324 --> 00:07:34,392
You look like a dirt bag
and you smell like medicine?
209
00:07:34,393 --> 00:07:37,563
No, propane. I...
210
00:07:39,599 --> 00:07:40,799
Oh, what about Derek and Lamork?
211
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,634
He's going to
a concert this weekend.
212
00:07:42,635 --> 00:07:45,036
- Damn it.
- Oh, I got someone. Me!
213
00:07:45,037 --> 00:07:46,671
Beverly.
214
00:07:46,672 --> 00:07:49,608
Can't believe I'm asking you this,
but you're my last resort.
215
00:07:49,609 --> 00:07:51,276
Will you accompany me
on a date tomorrow?
216
00:07:51,277 --> 00:07:52,644
Oh, sorry,
I'm not supposed to date
217
00:07:52,645 --> 00:07:55,480
until I reach my tenth step.
218
00:07:55,481 --> 00:07:57,582
Mm, damn it, back to step one.
219
00:07:57,583 --> 00:07:58,850
Hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
220
00:07:58,851 --> 00:08:02,120
Jody, do you still
need a fake girlfriend
221
00:08:02,121 --> 00:08:04,356
because I need a fake husband.
222
00:08:04,357 --> 00:08:07,392
Well, well, well,
looking to strike a bargain
223
00:08:07,393 --> 00:08:08,927
with the devil, are we?
224
00:08:08,928 --> 00:08:10,629
Congratulations,
you are now married
225
00:08:10,630 --> 00:08:12,831
to the most handsome
man you've ever seen.
226
00:08:12,832 --> 00:08:14,032
That's untrue.
227
00:08:14,033 --> 00:08:15,467
I saw Bill O'Reilly at
the airport one time.
228
00:08:15,468 --> 00:08:18,837
But, yes, for one night only,
I will be your girlfriend,
229
00:08:18,838 --> 00:08:20,906
and you will be my husband.
230
00:08:20,907 --> 00:08:22,407
- Deal.
- Deal.
231
00:08:22,408 --> 00:08:23,408
I'll be Leo.
232
00:08:23,409 --> 00:08:24,529
- No, you can't come.
- Okay.
233
00:08:29,816 --> 00:08:32,350
Okay, now, please, do not say
anything racist or sexist.
234
00:08:32,351 --> 00:08:34,152
Or anything overly conservative.
235
00:08:34,153 --> 00:08:36,555
Oh, and I told them
that you were part Cherokee.
236
00:08:36,556 --> 00:08:38,423
Interesting fact,
the Kimball family
237
00:08:38,424 --> 00:08:41,159
actually escorted the Cherokee
on the Trail of Tears.
238
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:42,694
Didn't even ask for payment.
239
00:08:42,695 --> 00:08:44,329
There was a real volunteer
spirit back then.
240
00:08:44,330 --> 00:08:45,864
Okay, listen, listen.
241
00:08:45,865 --> 00:08:48,834
For one night, can you just
pretend that you're not a jerk?
242
00:08:48,835 --> 00:08:50,335
Because honestly,
if you don't talk that much,
243
00:08:50,336 --> 00:08:52,237
people think
that you are handsome
244
00:08:52,238 --> 00:08:54,272
and that you are
maybe even charming.
245
00:08:54,273 --> 00:08:57,242
Just stick to non-controversial
topics like the weather.
246
00:08:57,243 --> 00:08:58,844
It is pretty cold out tonight.
247
00:08:58,845 --> 00:09:00,745
So much for so-called
global warming, eh?
248
00:09:00,746 --> 00:09:03,281
Damn it. This sucks.
249
00:09:03,282 --> 00:09:04,549
What are you doing?
250
00:09:04,550 --> 00:09:05,750
I would never fail to
take my wife's hand
251
00:09:05,751 --> 00:09:07,485
before entering
a social gathering.
252
00:09:07,486 --> 00:09:10,188
Oh, cool.
253
00:09:10,189 --> 00:09:12,524
So as you can see here
at Little Doorways,
254
00:09:12,525 --> 00:09:15,660
every moment of the school
day is expertly curated.
255
00:09:15,661 --> 00:09:18,530
Yesterday,
our students learned glass blowing
256
00:09:18,531 --> 00:09:21,700
before being treated to
a lecture by Elie Wiesel.
257
00:09:21,701 --> 00:09:23,568
Oh, my God, I love Elie Wiesel.
258
00:09:23,569 --> 00:09:26,071
Every night I read Leo her book.
259
00:09:26,072 --> 00:09:28,039
Um, he's a man.
260
00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:29,608
Okay, ladies, ladies.
261
00:09:29,609 --> 00:09:32,244
At this school,
we don't use gendered pronouns
262
00:09:32,245 --> 00:09:35,881
unless we've first issued
a trigger warning to "zheveryone."
263
00:09:35,882 --> 00:09:38,583
[chuckling and applause]
264
00:09:38,584 --> 00:09:40,719
[bad Italian accent] Ah, s?, s?.
Es bueno.
265
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,520
- I have a question.
- Oh, God.
266
00:09:42,521 --> 00:09:45,624
I was wondering if any of
the ladies need a husband.
267
00:09:45,625 --> 00:09:46,625
What are you doing here?
268
00:09:46,626 --> 00:09:49,995
- Open house.
- Get out of here.
269
00:09:49,996 --> 00:09:53,498
I just want to say,
my husband and I
270
00:09:53,499 --> 00:09:55,533
were very impressed
with this open house.
271
00:09:55,534 --> 00:09:57,369
In fact,
we think this school's the tits.
272
00:09:57,370 --> 00:10:00,605
Well, yes, we're very proud of
our little school.
273
00:10:00,606 --> 00:10:02,707
We believe that creating
exceptional children
274
00:10:02,708 --> 00:10:04,743
starts with
exceptional facilities.
275
00:10:04,744 --> 00:10:07,646
Excuse me, ma'am,
but I beg to differ.
276
00:10:07,647 --> 00:10:09,047
[gasping]
277
00:10:09,048 --> 00:10:11,349
Growing up a young
child in Georgia,
278
00:10:11,350 --> 00:10:14,152
I never had much in the way
of exceptional facilities.
279
00:10:14,153 --> 00:10:17,188
But I had everything I needed.
A loving mother and father.
280
00:10:17,189 --> 00:10:19,524
So at the end of the day,
I guess I don't care
281
00:10:19,525 --> 00:10:21,126
if my son goes to
Little Doorways.
282
00:10:21,127 --> 00:10:23,228
We so care. He's gone insane.
283
00:10:23,229 --> 00:10:24,729
Because to me,
exceptional children
284
00:10:24,730 --> 00:10:26,498
start with exceptional families.
285
00:10:26,499 --> 00:10:28,900
As long as I'm putting an apple
in his lunch sack every day
286
00:10:28,901 --> 00:10:30,168
and his mama's
reading him a story
287
00:10:30,169 --> 00:10:32,170
from the Good Book every night,
288
00:10:32,171 --> 00:10:34,072
I think little Leon's
going to be just fine.
289
00:10:34,073 --> 00:10:35,573
- Leo.
- Leo.
290
00:10:35,574 --> 00:10:38,710
You know, your wife was
so inarticulate before.
291
00:10:38,711 --> 00:10:41,379
You two seem like
an unlikely pair.
292
00:10:41,380 --> 00:10:43,915
Unlikely?
What, 'cause he's hot and tall?
293
00:10:43,916 --> 00:10:46,184
I'll have you know he is
so old that every night
294
00:10:46,185 --> 00:10:48,353
with me is basically statch.
295
00:10:48,354 --> 00:10:49,788
I'm like,
"Get off," and he's like, "No."
296
00:10:49,789 --> 00:10:52,090
Oh, don't mind my beloved Mindy.
297
00:10:52,091 --> 00:10:53,992
Please consider
that the female hormones
298
00:10:53,993 --> 00:10:55,060
that derange her thoughts
299
00:10:55,061 --> 00:10:57,028
also provide her with
a maternal instinct
300
00:10:57,029 --> 00:10:58,296
that'll bring
a tear to your eye.
301
00:10:58,297 --> 00:11:00,065
[applause]
302
00:11:00,066 --> 00:11:02,267
Why didn't you have
a speech prepared?
303
00:11:02,268 --> 00:11:03,635
You know, I don't know if it's
304
00:11:03,636 --> 00:11:06,171
the conflict-free
Shiraz talking,
305
00:11:06,172 --> 00:11:09,007
but I am going to
fast-track your application.
306
00:11:09,008 --> 00:11:10,342
Oh, my dear.
307
00:11:10,343 --> 00:11:12,410
I just need to pay a little
home visit, meet Leo.
308
00:11:12,411 --> 00:11:13,545
Are you free tomorrow morning?
309
00:11:13,546 --> 00:11:14,846
Oh, we're free anytime.
Seriously.
310
00:11:14,847 --> 00:11:17,115
I won't show up to work.
I'll quit my job.
311
00:11:17,116 --> 00:11:19,084
That's really not necessary.
312
00:11:19,085 --> 00:11:22,053
I want everyone to follow
me to the art room,
313
00:11:22,054 --> 00:11:23,455
but I have to warn you,
314
00:11:23,456 --> 00:11:27,292
Marina Abramovic
is nude in there.
315
00:11:27,293 --> 00:11:28,326
[crashes]
316
00:11:28,327 --> 00:11:30,762
Ah!
317
00:11:30,763 --> 00:11:32,531
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
318
00:11:35,368 --> 00:11:37,702
Jody, I am very hard to impress.
319
00:11:37,703 --> 00:11:39,371
I gave The Louvre
one star on Yelp.
320
00:11:39,372 --> 00:11:41,506
But I was really moved by
what you said back there.
321
00:11:41,507 --> 00:11:43,575
I think you're
secretly a good guy.
322
00:11:43,576 --> 00:11:46,544
Good guy? I don't know.
Good ol' boy, sure.
323
00:11:46,545 --> 00:11:50,782
A gentleman, maybe.
Mr. Teen Georgia 1990, absolutely.
324
00:11:50,783 --> 00:11:53,351
No, really. I mean, like,
take this Anne-Marie situation.
325
00:11:53,352 --> 00:11:55,553
Old you would have done
something despicable,
326
00:11:55,554 --> 00:11:57,022
but new you is
trying to be good.
327
00:11:57,023 --> 00:11:59,090
Fine, I'm moral, whatever,
328
00:11:59,091 --> 00:12:01,793
but now I need you to focus
on making a good impression.
329
00:12:01,794 --> 00:12:03,094
Is this what you're wearing?
330
00:12:03,095 --> 00:12:04,562
I look like a hot witch, dude.
331
00:12:04,563 --> 00:12:06,798
The cashier at Barney's said,
quote,
332
00:12:06,799 --> 00:12:08,166
"Hey, it's your money, lady."
333
00:12:08,167 --> 00:12:09,200
She needs to believe
that you're someone
334
00:12:09,201 --> 00:12:10,435
I'd actually be interested in
335
00:12:10,436 --> 00:12:12,070
which is already
a bit of a stretch.
336
00:12:12,071 --> 00:12:14,271
That's a little insulting,
but what does it even matter?
337
00:12:15,948 --> 00:12:18,077
Come on, let's go knock 'em dead,
sweetheart.
338
00:12:19,678 --> 00:12:22,013
So, how'd y'all meet?
339
00:12:22,014 --> 00:12:24,649
Jody has never mentioned you.
340
00:12:24,650 --> 00:12:25,817
Oh, that's not
a very interesting story.
341
00:12:25,818 --> 00:12:27,218
Actually kind of a cute story.
342
00:12:27,219 --> 00:12:29,687
I was leaving the Met Ball
and I was with my girl squad,
343
00:12:29,688 --> 00:12:32,123
Solange Knowles
and George Clooney's hot wife,
344
00:12:32,124 --> 00:12:36,528
and we were accosted by
a drunk man asking for money.
345
00:12:36,529 --> 00:12:38,797
And that man, Jody.
346
00:12:38,798 --> 00:12:41,499
I don't think that's
exactly how it happened.
347
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:42,967
You poor dear.
348
00:12:42,968 --> 00:12:44,669
It was sad as hell,
349
00:12:44,670 --> 00:12:47,372
and once I helped him curb
his excessive drinking
350
00:12:47,373 --> 00:12:48,840
and lifted him back on his feet,
351
00:12:48,841 --> 00:12:52,877
he helped me
overcome my anorexia.
352
00:12:52,878 --> 00:12:56,181
I know. It's kind of hard to
tell 'cause I'm still so slight,
353
00:12:56,182 --> 00:12:58,383
and then somewhere along
the way we fell in love.
354
00:12:58,384 --> 00:13:00,051
- Didn't we, baby?
- Yep.
355
00:13:00,052 --> 00:13:03,388
Hmm. I never thought Jody
could commit to one woman.
356
00:13:03,389 --> 00:13:05,423
There was a column in
our town paper called
357
00:13:05,424 --> 00:13:07,592
"Who's Jody Bedding?"
358
00:13:07,593 --> 00:13:10,261
When he moved away,
the writer was laid off.
359
00:13:10,262 --> 00:13:11,729
Oh.
360
00:13:11,730 --> 00:13:15,730
Well, that was before I met this
little dollop of brownie mix.
361
00:13:16,435 --> 00:13:18,536
Cupid's arrow's finally
pierced my heart.
362
00:13:18,537 --> 00:13:20,238
And his penis.
363
00:13:20,239 --> 00:13:21,840
Aren't you happy for us,
Anne-Marie?
364
00:13:21,841 --> 00:13:24,375
This is so nice.
365
00:13:24,376 --> 00:13:26,010
It's just a pity Colette
couldn't be here.
366
00:13:26,011 --> 00:13:28,513
I do miss her noogies so.
367
00:13:28,514 --> 00:13:30,582
I wish you'd picked
a night she was free.
368
00:13:30,583 --> 00:13:33,284
Wait, Jody was the one
that scheduled this night?
369
00:13:33,285 --> 00:13:36,488
He was insistent on tonight.
370
00:13:36,489 --> 00:13:37,755
Oh, God, my water and my ice!
371
00:13:37,756 --> 00:13:39,724
Oh! I'm so sorry.
372
00:13:39,725 --> 00:13:40,725
I'm going to go
help him clean up.
373
00:13:40,726 --> 00:13:42,160
Oh.
374
00:13:42,161 --> 00:13:44,529
We'll be right back, Anne-Marie.
I'm so sorry.
375
00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:46,397
Get over there.
376
00:13:46,398 --> 00:13:48,733
That wasn't a cock block.
I was the bait.
377
00:13:48,734 --> 00:13:49,834
I should have known
you were using me
378
00:13:49,835 --> 00:13:51,302
for how hot and sexy I am.
379
00:13:51,303 --> 00:13:54,305
Okay, I used you,
and I'm sorry, but it worked.
380
00:13:54,306 --> 00:13:55,607
Like that time
that I told you only men
381
00:13:55,608 --> 00:13:56,641
could clean the microwave
382
00:13:56,642 --> 00:13:58,343
and you insisted on
doing it yourself.
383
00:13:58,344 --> 00:14:00,345
[gasps] You son of a bitch.
384
00:14:00,346 --> 00:14:01,913
I thought you had changed,
385
00:14:01,914 --> 00:14:03,848
but you're the same
old depraved pervert.
386
00:14:03,849 --> 00:14:07,785
Look, you owe me for getting
Leo into that fancy school.
387
00:14:07,786 --> 00:14:09,755
Fine. Whatever you say,
boyfriend.
388
00:14:12,691 --> 00:14:13,925
I'm sorry to report
that Mindy's feeling
389
00:14:13,926 --> 00:14:16,127
a little under the weather.
- Oh.
390
00:14:16,128 --> 00:14:17,629
She's going to go home
and have a lie down.
391
00:14:17,630 --> 00:14:19,564
Actually, I'm feeling a lot
better now that I threw up
392
00:14:19,565 --> 00:14:22,433
and I think we should
order some more appetizers.
393
00:14:22,434 --> 00:14:25,003
Oh, no, honey,
you're sick, remember?
394
00:14:25,004 --> 00:14:26,671
Oh, yes, you are burning up.
395
00:14:26,672 --> 00:14:29,607
I'm just... I'm just burning up
with my love for you, my sweet.
396
00:14:29,608 --> 00:14:31,209
What... what's going on here?
397
00:14:31,210 --> 00:14:34,913
Okay, okay. Okay. You got us.
398
00:14:34,914 --> 00:14:36,648
Mindy's not sick.
399
00:14:36,649 --> 00:14:40,251
The truth is,
I broke up with Mindy.
400
00:14:40,252 --> 00:14:42,854
- What?
- Just now in the bathroom?
401
00:14:42,855 --> 00:14:44,522
You did not break up with me.
402
00:14:44,523 --> 00:14:46,357
For the record, if anyone's
breaking up with anyone here,
403
00:14:46,358 --> 00:14:48,560
it's me dumping this
Southern Skeletor.
404
00:14:48,561 --> 00:14:52,664
Besides, he can't break up with
me because Jody gave me herpes.
405
00:14:52,665 --> 00:14:55,334
- Oh. Upstairs kind.
- And the downstairs kind.
406
00:15:00,446 --> 00:15:02,440
Mindy's not my girlfriend.
407
00:15:02,441 --> 00:15:05,310
I just brought her here to
try to make you jealous.
408
00:15:05,311 --> 00:15:09,147
Really? You went through
all this trouble for me?
409
00:15:09,148 --> 00:15:13,017
So who is she? Is she an escort?
410
00:15:13,018 --> 00:15:14,552
Exsqueeze me?
411
00:15:14,553 --> 00:15:17,021
That is the nicest thing anyone
has ever said to me. Thank you.
412
00:15:17,022 --> 00:15:18,523
Mindy, maybe you should go home.
413
00:15:18,524 --> 00:15:20,625
I think you've embarrassed
yourself enough for tonight.
414
00:15:20,626 --> 00:15:24,662
I'll go, but I just want
to say one thing to you.
415
00:15:24,663 --> 00:15:26,231
I saw a different
side of you tonight,
416
00:15:26,232 --> 00:15:27,332
and if that person is real
417
00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:29,634
then you deserve
a real chance at love.
418
00:15:29,635 --> 00:15:32,370
Not just to be someone's
secret side piece.
419
00:15:32,371 --> 00:15:33,871
Okay, excuse me.
420
00:15:33,872 --> 00:15:36,107
Can I just take this with
me because... it's fine,
421
00:15:36,108 --> 00:15:39,510
I'll bring back the basket tomorrow.
Good-bye.
422
00:15:39,511 --> 00:15:42,280
Ooh, should I order
us some more wine?
423
00:15:42,281 --> 00:15:45,116
Look, Jody,
I wanted to get you alone
424
00:15:45,117 --> 00:15:48,920
because I have something
very important to tell you.
425
00:15:48,921 --> 00:15:50,321
You're going to
leave my brother.
426
00:15:50,322 --> 00:15:52,056
Well, I can't help
but feel sorry for him,
427
00:15:52,057 --> 00:15:53,424
but he'll be all right.
428
00:15:53,425 --> 00:15:55,460
He's got his Iraq memories
to keep him company.
429
00:15:55,461 --> 00:15:57,161
I'm never leaving your brother.
430
00:15:57,162 --> 00:16:00,632
We have a life together.
I mean, we just got a pool.
431
00:16:00,633 --> 00:16:02,567
But our rolls in
the hay were so passionate.
432
00:16:02,568 --> 00:16:06,204
I recall once the pigs
actually applauded.
433
00:16:06,205 --> 00:16:07,939
You can't deny what
we had was real.
434
00:16:07,940 --> 00:16:10,308
Sure, I enjoyed it in the past,
435
00:16:10,309 --> 00:16:14,712
but it can never happen again.
436
00:16:14,713 --> 00:16:18,616
Like, a sitcom with
all-white characters.
437
00:16:18,617 --> 00:16:21,653
You're right. That's fine,
that's fine. I understand.
438
00:16:21,654 --> 00:16:23,921
Not like I was in love
with you or anything.
439
00:16:23,922 --> 00:16:26,124
[whistles]
440
00:16:26,125 --> 00:16:29,294
You know, that disturbed
Middle Eastern prostitute
441
00:16:29,295 --> 00:16:30,728
was right.
442
00:16:30,729 --> 00:16:34,947
You deserve love, Jody.
Just not with me.
443
00:16:41,573 --> 00:16:44,575
[upbeat music]
444
00:16:44,576 --> 00:16:46,177
445
00:16:46,178 --> 00:16:48,813
Okay, Leo, when the woman from
the admissions office comes,
446
00:16:48,814 --> 00:16:50,315
I need you to look
like a hot nerd.
447
00:16:50,316 --> 00:16:52,550
You know, like Neil deGrasse
Tyson or Olivia Munn.
448
00:16:52,551 --> 00:16:55,119
Leo, are you reading
an entertainment magazine?
449
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,021
Okay, honey, you gotta pretend
that you're not a total bimbo,
450
00:16:57,022 --> 00:16:58,022
okay?
451
00:16:58,023 --> 00:16:59,157
[door knocks]
452
00:16:59,158 --> 00:17:00,592
I'll be right there,
Mrs. Guterman.
453
00:17:03,162 --> 00:17:04,662
Hello, and...
454
00:17:04,663 --> 00:17:07,131
Well, good day my lovely wife.
455
00:17:07,132 --> 00:17:08,733
Oh, oh, God.
456
00:17:08,734 --> 00:17:10,468
I made it in time
for our appointment.
457
00:17:10,469 --> 00:17:14,038
Jody, what are you doing here?
Why aren't you with Anne-Marie?
458
00:17:14,039 --> 00:17:16,841
You wined and dined.
[gasps] Did you not 69?
459
00:17:16,842 --> 00:17:19,177
No. Anne-Marie ended it,
460
00:17:19,178 --> 00:17:21,646
so I engaged in
a same-sex relationship
461
00:17:21,647 --> 00:17:23,781
with one Mr. Jack Daniels.
462
00:17:23,782 --> 00:17:25,216
I hate that you put it that way.
463
00:17:25,217 --> 00:17:27,018
Speaking of which,
did you know if you spend the night
464
00:17:27,019 --> 00:17:28,353
in Central Park,
you're considered a gay cruiser?
465
00:17:28,354 --> 00:17:29,754
Hmm.
466
00:17:29,755 --> 00:17:32,457
I thought I just met some
very friendly New Yorker fellow.
467
00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:35,626
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
You cannot sit...
468
00:17:35,627 --> 00:17:37,195
I don't have time
for this right now.
469
00:17:37,196 --> 00:17:38,963
Okay, the admissions director
is going to be here any second
470
00:17:38,964 --> 00:17:40,531
and I have to learn
all of current events.
471
00:17:40,532 --> 00:17:41,799
Like, did you know
that Bill Clinton's wife
472
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,568
is running for president?
I didn't.
473
00:17:43,569 --> 00:17:45,536
The home visit is why I'm here.
474
00:17:45,537 --> 00:17:47,238
I make a promise, I keep it.
475
00:17:47,239 --> 00:17:49,941
When Jody Kimball-Kinney writes,
"See you this summer,"
476
00:17:49,942 --> 00:17:51,809
in your yearbook,
you shall be seen.
477
00:17:51,810 --> 00:17:54,345
That's cool,
but you're gross right now,
478
00:17:54,346 --> 00:17:56,247
and you're so drunk you
could accept a Golden Globe.
479
00:17:56,248 --> 00:17:58,015
You gotta go home.
I'm going to do this by myself.
480
00:17:58,016 --> 00:18:00,017
[door knocks]
481
00:18:00,018 --> 00:18:04,018
- She's here.
- Let's do this.
482
00:18:05,657 --> 00:18:08,559
Oh, my heart is broken,
to say nothing of the blue balls.
483
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,161
Okay, take this off.
Just get in here, all right?
484
00:18:10,162 --> 00:18:13,464
Get in here and I will just
tell her that you are sick.
485
00:18:13,465 --> 00:18:15,433
Do not leave this room.
486
00:18:15,434 --> 00:18:18,603
Lord. Don't leave me.
I don't trust myself alone.
487
00:18:18,604 --> 00:18:20,171
What...
what if I take all these pills?
488
00:18:20,172 --> 00:18:21,773
Then you will relieve all
your menstrual cramps,
489
00:18:21,774 --> 00:18:24,140
- because that's Midol.
- God.
490
00:18:25,444 --> 00:18:28,980
Your Southern husband sure
does seem to love the Yankees.
491
00:18:28,981 --> 00:18:32,650
Oh. Those are actually mine.
492
00:18:32,651 --> 00:18:36,654
I'm a real sport-head.
Pfft. Whoa, nothing but net!
493
00:18:36,655 --> 00:18:40,655
And who is this little Italian man?
Is he a marionette?
494
00:18:41,126 --> 00:18:44,729
Oh, that is actually
the man that introduced me
495
00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:46,264
to my husband.
496
00:18:46,265 --> 00:18:47,532
You know,
when somebody introduces you
497
00:18:47,533 --> 00:18:49,467
to the love of your life
if you keep photos of them
498
00:18:49,468 --> 00:18:51,969
all around your house
as an homage...
499
00:18:51,970 --> 00:18:53,905
Yes, but I don't see any
photos of your husband.
500
00:18:53,906 --> 00:18:55,473
I mean, there's not one.
501
00:18:55,474 --> 00:18:58,976
And between the two of you, he's
the more classically photogenic.
502
00:18:58,977 --> 00:19:01,145
Okay, we're both super hot,
but you know,
503
00:19:01,146 --> 00:19:04,215
it's our tradition to not take
photos of ourselves together.
504
00:19:04,216 --> 00:19:06,884
You know, we prefer to
just live family moments.
505
00:19:06,885 --> 00:19:10,885
Moon River,
wider than a mile
506
00:19:11,623 --> 00:19:12,790
I didn't ' realize
your husband was home.
507
00:19:12,791 --> 00:19:15,460
I'm crossing
you in style
508
00:19:15,461 --> 00:19:17,429
Or that he's a countertenor.
509
00:19:19,622 --> 00:19:23,401
Oh, hello, lady from yesterday.
510
00:19:23,402 --> 00:19:24,836
Welcome to our home.
511
00:19:24,837 --> 00:19:27,004
Oh, it's so lovely
to see you again.
512
00:19:27,005 --> 00:19:28,906
I was just asking
Mindy some questions.
513
00:19:28,907 --> 00:19:32,959
That's funny, I was just
thinking of a question myself.
514
00:19:33,111 --> 00:19:34,445
Why?
515
00:19:34,446 --> 00:19:37,348
Oh, God.
Oh, you reek of bourbon.
516
00:19:37,349 --> 00:19:39,250
Oh, I'm not a drinker.
517
00:19:39,251 --> 00:19:41,152
I'm just going to talk to him
in the bathroom for a second.
518
00:19:41,153 --> 00:19:42,988
Come on, sweetheart.
519
00:19:44,456 --> 00:19:46,190
Oh.
520
00:19:46,191 --> 00:19:48,159
You need to chill out.
You are out of control.
521
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,161
- That's so cold.
- What was that, huh?
522
00:19:50,162 --> 00:19:53,831
I'm drowning. Okay. Okay.
523
00:19:53,832 --> 00:19:57,401
Repeat after me.
I do not love Anne-Marie.
524
00:19:57,402 --> 00:20:01,739
I don't love Anne...
love Anne Marie.
525
00:20:01,740 --> 00:20:03,241
Wrong answer.
526
00:20:03,242 --> 00:20:05,243
Anne-Marie, I love you.
527
00:20:05,244 --> 00:20:08,346
All right. Hey, man,
you gotta pull it together.
528
00:20:08,347 --> 00:20:10,281
I met Anne-Marie.
She's not even that great.
529
00:20:10,282 --> 00:20:11,516
Her boobs are too big.
530
00:20:11,517 --> 00:20:13,518
She could have back
problems later in life.
531
00:20:13,519 --> 00:20:16,087
Just always looked
up to my brother.
532
00:20:16,088 --> 00:20:17,722
I practically wanted to be him,
533
00:20:17,723 --> 00:20:19,123
and he had this perfect,
gorgeous wife
534
00:20:19,124 --> 00:20:20,424
and I just...
535
00:20:20,425 --> 00:20:23,294
Wait, wait, is the only reason
that you like Anne-Marie
536
00:20:23,295 --> 00:20:24,929
because she's married
to your brother?
537
00:20:24,930 --> 00:20:27,265
Of course not.
We are soul mates.
538
00:20:27,266 --> 00:20:29,433
I think the jewelry
she makes is very interesting.
539
00:20:29,434 --> 00:20:33,137
Oh, my God.
You're in love with the idea of her.
540
00:20:33,138 --> 00:20:34,305
And the fact
that you can't have her
541
00:20:34,306 --> 00:20:36,641
just makes you want her more.
542
00:20:36,642 --> 00:20:38,242
Kind of like you
and that ritzy school?
543
00:20:38,243 --> 00:20:39,977
What? No.
544
00:20:39,978 --> 00:20:41,712
Just because the only
reason I'm doing any of this
545
00:20:41,713 --> 00:20:43,748
is to prove to those rich
moms that I'm as good as them
546
00:20:43,749 --> 00:20:47,018
does not mean that it's just
about me and those rich moms.
547
00:20:47,019 --> 00:20:48,586
Oh, boy.
548
00:20:48,587 --> 00:20:51,422
Well, it's clear what
we both have to do.
549
00:20:51,423 --> 00:20:53,057
Double down on
our impossible dreams.
550
00:20:53,058 --> 00:20:56,494
No, Jody.
We have to do the right thing.
551
00:20:56,495 --> 00:20:58,430
Damn it. Come on.
552
00:21:00,598 --> 00:21:02,433
Hey, Mrs. Guterman.
553
00:21:02,434 --> 00:21:03,834
I'm sorry we wasted your time,
554
00:21:03,835 --> 00:21:07,204
but I don't think
that Little Doorways is for us.
555
00:21:07,205 --> 00:21:09,740
I'm sorry, you're rejecting us?
556
00:21:09,741 --> 00:21:13,911
[laughs] You must be joking.
557
00:21:13,912 --> 00:21:16,047
Kelly Ripa once offered
me one night of passion
558
00:21:16,048 --> 00:21:18,215
with Mark Consuelos for
a spot in our school.
559
00:21:18,216 --> 00:21:20,618
- Whoa.
- That's an offer I accepted.
560
00:21:20,619 --> 00:21:22,253
Mindy, I would do
that for you if you want.
561
00:21:22,254 --> 00:21:24,021
That's not necessary.
562
00:21:24,022 --> 00:21:26,657
I just... I think I want my son
to go to public school, you know?
563
00:21:26,658 --> 00:21:29,327
I went to public school
and I turned out...
564
00:21:29,328 --> 00:21:31,796
well, not great, but I'm fine.
565
00:21:31,797 --> 00:21:34,065
It's true, she's not
the fanciest schooner in the marina
566
00:21:34,066 --> 00:21:35,600
but she's a good little tugboat.
567
00:21:35,601 --> 00:21:37,268
He... I don't ' like
your metaphors for me.
568
00:21:37,269 --> 00:21:39,770
All right.
Just so you know, I was prepared
569
00:21:39,771 --> 00:21:41,273
to offer you a spot right now.
570
00:21:44,266 --> 00:21:45,576
Truly unique.
571
00:21:45,577 --> 00:21:48,646
Okay, well, out of curiosity,
how much is tuition?
572
00:21:48,647 --> 00:21:50,581
Pre-K starts at 70,000 a year.
573
00:21:50,582 --> 00:21:53,184
- $70,000?
- Mm-hmm.
574
00:21:53,185 --> 00:21:55,953
If I had $70,000 to blow,
I'd have a new face.
575
00:21:55,954 --> 00:21:59,522
Please lave. That's insane.
576
00:22:00,892 --> 00:22:04,328
Well, Leo, I think you might
go to school here one day.
577
00:22:04,329 --> 00:22:07,098
I know it's not Little Doorways,
but it doesn't matter.
578
00:22:07,099 --> 00:22:08,132
I'll be taking you
on so many auditions
579
00:22:08,133 --> 00:22:09,900
you'll barely even be here.
580
00:22:09,901 --> 00:22:11,502
- Hey, lady.
- Yeah?
581
00:22:11,503 --> 00:22:13,337
Give us your extensions
or I'll beat your ass.
582
00:22:13,338 --> 00:22:14,939
My hair's all real!
Don't hurt me!
583
00:22:14,940 --> 00:22:16,540
Run, Leo, you might have
to do Catholic school.
584
00:22:16,541 --> 00:22:20,482
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
585
00:22:20,532 --> 00:22:25,082
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
45271
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