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1
00:00:01,520 --> 00:00:03,720
Chinese weddings are insane.
2
00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:06,680
You're obliged to invite
heaps of people you barely know,
3
00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:08,320
and if you forget someone,
4
00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:11,080
it's a massive scandal
and they totally hold a grudge.
5
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:12,960
And if you don't serve enough food
6
00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:15,840
or skimp on the budget
or wear something controversial,
7
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,215
everyone complains,
your family's disgraced
8
00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:20,744
and you never live it down.
9
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,880
Chinese weddings are the best!
10
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:29,440
Knock-knock.
11
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:33,640
What's all this?
Haven't we finalised decorations?
12
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,440
Yeah, but... look!
13
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:40,080
Do you like it? I got the idea
from 'Raise the Red Lantern'.
14
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,240
That film where all the concubines
go crazy and kill themselves?
15
00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,600
Yeah, but the styling!
16
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,720
You know they'll look amazing.
Trust me.
17
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:50,480
We do.
18
00:00:50,738 --> 00:00:52,864
Which is kind of why we're here.
19
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,280
As you know, Wayne and I
20
00:00:55,370 --> 00:00:57,890
decided not to do
the whole bridal party thing.
21
00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,840
It just buys into the stupid
paradigms of gender binary.
22
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,000
Totally.
23
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,520
But then,
I couldn't sleep last night.
24
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,240
- I was tossing and turning...
- Mainly tossing.
25
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:11,059
..and realised you can't
throw all tradition out the door.
26
00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:15,040
So, this is
totally last minute but...
27
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:19,240
Ben...
would you be our man of honour?
28
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,400
[heavenly choir]
29
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:22,685
I do.
30
00:01:26,013 --> 00:01:28,333
Synced by louvette
www.addicted.com
31
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:31,855
Speed it up, people!
32
00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,369
Wayne's parents
will be here any second.
33
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:35,615
First impressions
have to be perfect.
34
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:39,303
You okay?
35
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,840
Oh, sure. One Nation heartland
about to walk through my front door.
36
00:01:42,865 --> 00:01:44,344
What could go wrong?
37
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,680
- What is this?
- It looks like dog food.
38
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,413
It's white people food.
It's supposed to look like this.
39
00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:56,036
I'll get it!
40
00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,320
It's so good to finally meet you.
41
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:08,440
And look at your eyebrows!
They're so thick and powerful.
42
00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:10,360
Just like your dad's.
43
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:12,800
Mum!
44
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,920
G'day, g'day! Welcome to
the beautiful Sunshine Co...
45
00:02:18,944 --> 00:02:20,944
_
46
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:22,920
Hello, hello.
47
00:02:24,309 --> 00:02:26,280
'Ni hao, ni hao.'
48
00:02:26,998 --> 00:02:28,998
_
49
00:02:29,022 --> 00:02:31,745
_
50
00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,120
Welcome to our home.
51
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,840
Danny warn me today,
"Ming-Zhu, don't come."
52
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:41,719
But I say,
the sooner your family meet me,
53
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,400
the sooner they will like me.
54
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,640
She's very persuasive.
55
00:02:47,575 --> 00:02:49,575
_
56
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:50,680
We're here!
57
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,760
Come on!
Get involved.
58
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:00,840
Mum, Dad...
59
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,520
Meet your in-laws.
Your Law-in-Laws.
60
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,360
Which one's Gary?
61
00:03:05,403 --> 00:03:07,408
Oh, pleased to meet you!
62
00:03:07,433 --> 00:03:09,466
Wayne says many nice things about you.
63
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,280
[gravelly voice] G'day. Lorraine.
64
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,200
And I'm Ming-Zhu.
65
00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,640
I'm Danny's new girlfriend.
He trade up.
66
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,546
And I am fair dinkum Aussie Jenny-mum!
67
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,875
Where Candy got
her good looks and skin.
68
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,400
My secret? Three layers of
moisturiser every night.
69
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,231
Also, be Asian!
70
00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,800
You know, some of my best friends
are white people.
71
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,280
Oh, and I love white people music.
72
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,800
Delta Goodrem, Kylie Minogue...
73
00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,360
- Oh, I love Kyles!
- ...Little River Band.
74
00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,080
I just love the decor.
75
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,800
Don't we, Lorraine?
I mean, look at this.
76
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,360
We've got a whole collection
of these at home.
77
00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,720
He loves
to collect stuff.
78
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,400
Oh, well, we love our country,
just like you do.
79
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,960
- Aussie-Aussie-Aussie!
- Oi-oi-oi!
80
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:16,120
So, Wayne tells us
that you own your own business.
81
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,264
The longest-running florist in Mt Isa.
82
00:04:18,343 --> 00:04:22,040
And not just bouquets, but ikebana
and twig arrangements too.
83
00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:25,760
People think it's easy,
but you really need a strong grip
84
00:04:25,785 --> 00:04:27,783
to get your hands
around those faggots.
85
00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:33,240
Well... everyone loves flowers.
Did you work there too, Lorraine?
86
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:37,120
No. Pest control.
You mean cockroaches and spiders?
87
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:40,885
More like possums,
cats, feral pigs.
88
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,908
How do you
get rid of pigs?
89
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,851
Twelve-gauge shotgun.
Right between the eyes.
90
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:54,551
I also have
my own business.
91
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:58,520
Asian groceries. Very high-class.
92
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:01,746
Tam?
93
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,120
- Dress...
- Who wants to hear about the dress?
94
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,240
I've never understood
the big deal about wedding dresses.
95
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:14,240
You only get to dress up once.
Tell us all about it.
96
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:16,079
You're going to love it, Gary.
97
00:05:16,104 --> 00:05:18,120
We're giving a traditional style
a modern twist.
98
00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,200
We've based it off
old-school Chinese dresses
99
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:21,972
and sent them to Guangdong,
where Dad was born,
100
00:05:21,997 --> 00:05:23,455
so it's super traditional.
101
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:27,440
Plus the labour is super cheap.
And we're getting it made in red!
102
00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:31,360
Red? Is that a bit... risque?
103
00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,606
It's the Chinese traditional colour
for good luck.
104
00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:36,575
It's also the colour
when you slit a pig's throat.
105
00:05:39,347 --> 00:05:42,246
_
106
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,800
Excuse me, everyone!
107
00:05:51,795 --> 00:05:53,955
No wonder Wayne moved away.
108
00:05:53,980 --> 00:05:56,664
That woman has one sour pussy.
109
00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,000
His dad is... interesting.
110
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,560
"White dress, white dress!"
Why is white always best?
111
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:07,424
I think for 'gweilo', it represents,
you know... virginity.
112
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:11,320
Jenny... It's so
good to see you laughing.
113
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:15,433
And you say
she only nag, nag, nag.
114
00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,870
Lorraine, you should come to
our pre-wedding mani-pedi tomorrow.
115
00:06:27,895 --> 00:06:29,209
You'd love it.
116
00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:33,360
No. A good soak and some Eulactol
is all these puppies need.
117
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:37,487
Everyone...
118
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,469
We've got an announcement to make.
119
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,000
Your mum and I
have got you something.
120
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,320
We were originally going
to save it for your big day,
121
00:06:47,345 --> 00:06:50,145
but then I thought it'd be better
to surprise you with it now.
122
00:06:51,608 --> 00:06:56,000
Your mum and I have been putting
aside money, and after months...
123
00:06:56,025 --> 00:06:58,393
We've bought you a property.
124
00:07:02,611 --> 00:07:04,324
It's just down the road
from our place!
125
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,472
You guys...
126
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,921
Mt Isa?
They may as well move to North Korea.
127
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,400
Ai-ya, Gar-jer's not going anywhere.
128
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,480
But Gary and Lorraine
spent all that money.
129
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,440
Hello? Get a refund!
130
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:26,440
Everything's here. Your Gar-Jer's
university, Wayne's business...
131
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,200
And us. It does sound
like a bit of a hole.
132
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,280
Yes... hell-hole.
133
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:32,760
I'm back!
134
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,840
It took me ages to check
Gary and Lorraine into the resort.
135
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,920
Gary kept complaining
about the colour scheme.
136
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,240
- How did they take it?
- What?
137
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,072
That you're not going to Mt Isa.
138
00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:45,440
We haven't talked about it yet.
What was I supposed to say?
139
00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,160
Easy. Just say no.
140
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,040
Mum, you can't just say no
straight away in front of everyone.
141
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:51,320
It's rude.
142
00:07:51,345 --> 00:07:55,265
I would. "Sorry, Gary and Lorraine.
Lead poison capital of Australia.
143
00:07:55,294 --> 00:07:58,374
- "Good for you, not for me."
- Yeah, maybe Mum has a point.
144
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,800
It's not that bad up there.
You guys haven't been.
145
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,160
You want to be surrounded
by people like them?
146
00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:06,120
Mum, you don't know them.
They're being generous.
147
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,440
It'd set us up.
We'd be near family...
148
00:08:08,465 --> 00:08:09,625
Not your family.
149
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,560
They're just trying to trap you.
Don't be stupid.
150
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:13,916
You know what, Mum?
151
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,680
I'm an adult now, and I don't care
if you think I'm stupid.
152
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,002
It's my life.
153
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,520
We're going to have to
push make-up 30 minutes
154
00:08:33,545 --> 00:08:35,658
to have enough time
for Lorraine's pig on a spit.
155
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,840
Delivery notification.
Dress arrives in an hour.
156
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,680
Thank God! I was getting worried.
157
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:45,640
You know it's five men
to every woman in Mt Isa, right?
158
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:46,880
Ben...
159
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,120
What if you walk down the street
and get torn apart?
160
00:08:49,145 --> 00:08:50,809
That's not going to happen.
161
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,914
You're really thinking of moving?
162
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:57,383
Maybe.
163
00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:00,360
Ben, it's not that bad.
164
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:04,815
If I move, I'll visit heaps.
It's only a short flight.
165
00:09:14,675 --> 00:09:17,872
It was my fault. I didn't mean
to make it sound like you're a slut.
166
00:09:19,077 --> 00:09:20,958
Because you're not... a slut.
167
00:09:21,342 --> 00:09:23,092
I mean... obviously. You're like...
168
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,960
the opposite... of a slut.
169
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,720
So I've gone from being a slut...
to frigid?
170
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,010
Yes.
171
00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:33,823
No.
172
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,440
- I'm an idiot.
- That's one thing we can agree on.
173
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,091
Andrew!
174
00:09:46,660 --> 00:09:48,049
I'm fucking with you.
175
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,776
You can fuck with me
any time you like.
176
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:59,324
So, am I still invited
to Candy's wedding,
177
00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:01,520
or am I too much of a massive ho-bag?
178
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,400
You don't even like them!
179
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,680
Now you want our daughter
to live with them?
180
00:10:09,705 --> 00:10:11,353
I'm not saying that.
181
00:10:12,764 --> 00:10:15,124
So you okay trusting your daughter
182
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,520
to Goblin Gary and Bush-pig Lorraine?
183
00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:21,240
No! But what can we do?
Trap Candy on the Sunshine Coast?
184
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,920
Remember what you said
when she got engaged?
185
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:25,976
"Maybe we should support her."
186
00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:28,104
I was just talking the bullshit.
187
00:10:28,768 --> 00:10:31,751
_
188
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,579
Your father let you marry me.
189
00:10:33,603 --> 00:10:35,733
_
190
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:43,960
You tell her, if she goes,
no money for wedding.
191
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,298
I'm not going to
blackmail our children.
192
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:50,360
- Why not? I do it all the time!
- Look, just stop stressing out.
193
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,160
Main thing is she's happy.
194
00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,295
Mum!
195
00:10:57,891 --> 00:10:59,695
I look like a parachute!
196
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:00,834
What's wrong?
197
00:11:03,973 --> 00:11:05,301
_
198
00:11:05,326 --> 00:11:07,006
I triple-checked the measurements.
199
00:11:07,031 --> 00:11:10,330
- Did you use centimetres or inches?
- You used kilometres!
200
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:13,840
- Maths isn't my strong suit.
- What kind of Asian are you?
201
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,720
Don't worry, it'll be fine.
202
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,600
Mummy will fix everything.
203
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,385
Thanks, guys. I don't know
what I'd do without you.
204
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:31,800
Well, if you go to Mt Isa, you
won't have Mummy or your brother.
205
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,120
Mum...
206
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:36,200
Ai-ya, I'm just saying. Be sensible.
207
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,030
What about your studies?
208
00:11:38,055 --> 00:11:39,414
I can transfer.
209
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,080
Wayne's business?
210
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,200
He started it there.
He has heaps of old clients.
211
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,872
What about your friends?
212
00:11:44,897 --> 00:11:46,184
I'll make new ones.
213
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,840
That's what I thought when your
dad dragged me out to Australia.
214
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,000
Then you find out
everyone already has friends,
215
00:11:52,025 --> 00:11:53,225
or they're racist, or they're...
216
00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:54,862
Mum, it's a house!
217
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,680
Gary and Lorraine
are like kidnapper.
218
00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,758
Tempt you with home deposit.
Surprise! You're their hostage.
219
00:12:00,796 --> 00:12:01,996
- Mum!
- Don't move!
220
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:04,078
I will move wherever I want.
221
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:07,320
Newsflash, Mum. I am not you.
222
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,840
You're the last person in this world
I want to be.
223
00:12:09,865 --> 00:12:10,945
Gar-jer...
224
00:12:11,179 --> 00:12:13,179
_
225
00:12:13,648 --> 00:12:17,632
_
226
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:18,840
Fine!
227
00:12:19,403 --> 00:12:21,674
If you think
everything I do is so stupid,
228
00:12:22,182 --> 00:12:23,848
don't come to my wedding!
229
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:25,615
Fine.
230
00:12:25,967 --> 00:12:26,998
I won't.
231
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:29,498
Guys...
232
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:31,560
Guys!
233
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,436
Guys, come on...
234
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:35,480
Hi!
235
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,724
- You know, Tam...
- Not interested.
236
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,928
Tam, you don't have to
like her.
237
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:48,655
Good.
238
00:12:49,390 --> 00:12:52,542
Just because I like her
doesn't mean I love you less.
239
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,448
Still don't like her.
240
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,760
You look perfect.
241
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,000
Let's go!
242
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:19,920
- What's going on?
- Where's Mum?
243
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:21,440
- Gar-Jer banned her.
- What?
244
00:13:21,477 --> 00:13:24,637
She banned herself. She stayed up
all night fixing your dress.
245
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,379
Typical emotional blackmail.
246
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:33,540
Ah-neui...
247
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,240
- Dad...
- What do you want me to do?
248
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,760
Go up there!
Talk some sense into Mum.
249
00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:40,905
Why would that work?
250
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:42,418
Hurry up!
251
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,280
Ooh, sorry!
252
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:48,240
- Are we really not waiting?
- I'm never getting married.
253
00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:04,840
Hi, good to see you.
254
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,400
Uncle! Aunty!
255
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,240
Aunty, long time no see.
Love that dress.
256
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,440
Bloody hell!
You've got a lot of relatives.
257
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:13,360
I thought China
had that one-child policy.
258
00:14:13,406 --> 00:14:14,735
We're not actually related.
259
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:17,101
Chinese people just call our elders
that out of respect.
260
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,286
Well, how do you tell
who's who, then?
261
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:24,760
So, for the tea ceremony,
Candy and Wayne will kneel here
262
00:14:24,785 --> 00:14:26,320
and offer you each a cup of tea.
263
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:28,408
- Is there milk?
- She can't stand black tea.
264
00:14:28,433 --> 00:14:30,968
- Reflux
- Then you each offer advice
265
00:14:31,019 --> 00:14:32,819
about marriage and
then it's Dad and Mum's turn...
266
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:35,640
Gar-jer!
267
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,400
So, what if Mum doesn't show up?
268
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,307
Oh, I can step in.
269
00:14:41,479 --> 00:14:43,824
I'm like your new mother anyway.
270
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,405
Except younger.
271
00:14:45,749 --> 00:14:48,463
More like... sister-mother.
272
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,480
Don't! It'll ruin your make-up.
273
00:15:04,901 --> 00:15:06,442
What have I done?
274
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,772
Do you want Mum to come or not?
275
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:13,874
It's too late!
276
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,397
I went too far.
277
00:15:17,796 --> 00:15:18,982
You both did.
278
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,154
I didn't actually think
she wouldn't come.
279
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,279
It's never too late, though.
280
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:37,563
Ben?
281
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:56,697
Babe?
282
00:15:57,237 --> 00:15:58,682
I'm not coming out!
283
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:00,675
Hey...
284
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:03,084
You can't stay in here forever.
285
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,405
Yes, I can.
286
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:09,131
Isn't that going to make
married life a little bit difficult?
287
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,760
It kind of reeks in here, babe.
You want to go and get some air?
288
00:16:15,194 --> 00:16:18,259
And if people start asking
questions, I'll...
289
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,160
What?
290
00:16:22,692 --> 00:16:24,085
I will make some shit up.
291
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,794
You look... perfect.
292
00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:49,364
My make-up's munted.
293
00:16:50,084 --> 00:16:51,325
You look better without it.
294
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:54,974
Liar.
295
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:56,840
Shall we?
296
00:16:59,403 --> 00:17:02,395
- Do we have to?
- You don't have to go on your own.
297
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:05,411
You don't have to do anything on
your own ever again
298
00:17:05,436 --> 00:17:06,716
if you don't want to.
299
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:11,707
Just...
300
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:16,055
Blow.
301
00:17:43,125 --> 00:17:44,720
Mum, you have to
come to the wedding!
302
00:17:44,745 --> 00:17:46,320
Gar-Jer's not angry with you any more.
303
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:48,760
And she started crying until I said
she'd ruin her make-up
304
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,480
so you have to come now!
305
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,640
One word at a time.
306
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,600
She didn't mean
all that hideous stuff she said,
307
00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,377
just like
you didn't mean what you said.
308
00:17:58,080 --> 00:17:59,534
She needs you, Mum.
309
00:18:17,885 --> 00:18:19,675
_
310
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:22,385
_
311
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:24,901
_
312
00:18:24,925 --> 00:18:27,339
_
313
00:18:27,527 --> 00:18:29,527
_
314
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,840
- Mum, slow down!
- I can't! These heels...
315
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,320
Mum!
316
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,276
Okay, let's go.
317
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:01,440
We can make the wedding
another day.
318
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:05,200
We'd have to forfeit the deposit
and make everyone come back later.
319
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,600
It's okay. People can wait.
320
00:19:09,027 --> 00:19:10,054
Hey...
321
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,240
She's not coming... is she?
322
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,600
Babe, maybe...
maybe she's just slow.
323
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,800
I mean...
your Mum doesn't exercise much,
324
00:19:21,554 --> 00:19:23,080
and Ben nearly failed PE.
325
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,170
We can't make everyone wait forever.
326
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:28,764
She's not coming.
327
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,640
Let's just do it.
328
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:35,480
Are you sure?
329
00:19:39,206 --> 00:19:42,238
Thanks for your patience, folks,
and sorry about the delay.
330
00:19:44,396 --> 00:19:48,347
Sadly, the mother of the bride
can't be with us today...
331
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,360
Excuse me, excuse me...
Long time, no see.
332
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,240
Oh, I like your dress.
Fabulous hairdo!
333
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,320
Oh, nice tie! Oh, hello, hello!
334
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:15,379
And I wish you both a happy, healthy
and prosperous life together.
335
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,325
And remember...
336
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,458
Hard work doesn't guarantee success.
337
00:20:21,265 --> 00:20:23,458
But you have to work hard
to be successful.
338
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:26,560
But don't forget
339
00:20:27,254 --> 00:20:29,317
who you're working hard for, okay?
340
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:35,812
And I'm glad your mum and I
didn't put you off marriage.
341
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:41,268
Thank you.
342
00:20:42,627 --> 00:20:45,667
First of all,
Wayne, welcome to our family.
343
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:47,833
You're a brave man.
344
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:51,215
But if you ever treat Candy badly
I will chop off your balls.
345
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:55,756
And my Candy...
346
00:20:57,855 --> 00:20:58,943
Law Ngar-Yee...
347
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:02,195
My advice to you is...
348
00:21:03,893 --> 00:21:06,054
don't let small fights become big.
349
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,377
Give each other space
and independence.
350
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,840
That way you grow together,
instead of growing apart.
351
00:21:14,962 --> 00:21:17,432
And make sure you have
plenty of sexy time.
352
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,600
After children you might be sore
down there
353
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,396
but you still have other holes.
354
00:21:24,587 --> 00:21:25,943
And one last thing...
355
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,920
Your family loves you very much,
356
00:21:29,406 --> 00:21:32,037
wherever you are, no matter what.
357
00:21:44,836 --> 00:21:47,396
Yeah, I've almost got that one
going. Yeah, that's...
358
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,760
- That's looking good, Mum.
- You think that's lit enough?
359
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,983
- Yeah, you're a natural at this.
- You reckon?
360
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,520
- Don't burn anything.
- No, no, no, no, no.
361
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,830
Thank you
for putting sense into Mummy.
362
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:05,018
I am really sorry.
363
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:06,800
I'm really sorry.
364
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,440
Go. Live your own life.
365
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,014
Thank you, Mum.
366
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,116
Come here, you.
367
00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:22,240
Hey, you're squashing the lantern!
368
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:25,064
Okay.
369
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:27,244
Time to let go.
370
00:22:45,361 --> 00:22:48,001
I don't need to rely on you
or any man.
371
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:49,846
Come on, Ming-Zhu!
372
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:54,040
Your dad controls all the money.
No one wants to give me a job.
373
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:55,800
Mum, you should just give up.
374
00:22:55,825 --> 00:22:57,985
Children, you have evil as a mother.
375
00:22:58,360 --> 00:22:59,417
You...
376
00:22:59,527 --> 00:23:00,487
[phone rings]
377
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,280
Yes? What is it?
378
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,288
You know I left rehearsal for this?
It's opening night this week.
379
00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:08,647
I'm not the one going behind my back
with my new boyfriend Klaus!
380
00:23:09,030 --> 00:23:10,405
You just want to be the star!
381
00:23:10,430 --> 00:23:12,672
Well, if you're going to be like this,
maybe I should be.
382
00:23:12,722 --> 00:23:17,272
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