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1
00:00:00,649 --> 00:00:02,816
[upbeat music]
2
00:00:03,906 --> 00:00:05,289
[Phil laughs] Hey!
3
00:00:05,408 --> 00:00:06,407
Hey, Phil, what's up?
4
00:00:06,493 --> 00:00:08,209
Got my first date with Zoey tonight.
5
00:00:08,295 --> 00:00:10,234
All right, so what do you
think I should go with?
6
00:00:10,237 --> 00:00:12,654
"That's right, I'm bad, and I know it,"
7
00:00:12,675 --> 00:00:15,523
or "I'm dating a movie star!"
8
00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:20,047
Well, as a fashion icon I
always go by one rule:
9
00:00:20,182 --> 00:00:23,383
Keep it baggy around the boys.
10
00:00:23,518 --> 00:00:24,884
Hey, guys, what's going on?
11
00:00:24,970 --> 00:00:25,969
We're trying to decide what I should wear
12
00:00:26,054 --> 00:00:27,554
on my date with Zoey tonight.
13
00:00:27,689 --> 00:00:29,105
Mm. Jeans from the left,
jacket from the right,
14
00:00:29,224 --> 00:00:32,892
and a whole lot less cologne.
15
00:00:32,978 --> 00:00:34,194
So where are you taking Zoey?
16
00:00:34,279 --> 00:00:36,312
Jean-George.
17
00:00:36,398 --> 00:00:39,699
Oh, good choice. Zoey loves
the lobster tartine there.
18
00:00:39,785 --> 00:00:41,734
How do you know that?
19
00:00:41,820 --> 00:00:43,570
Oh, no, People magazine.
20
00:00:43,655 --> 00:00:45,572
Yeah, I read it cover-to-cover
between my patients.
21
00:00:45,707 --> 00:00:47,240
And contrary to the stereotype,
22
00:00:47,325 --> 00:00:51,878
all of the magazines in my
waiting room are up-to-date.
23
00:00:51,963 --> 00:00:55,715
Unlike Lindsay Lohan's cork wedges.
24
00:00:58,420 --> 00:00:59,419
What?
25
00:00:59,554 --> 00:01:02,783
I'm looking for a "Y" chromosome.
26
00:01:04,309 --> 00:01:07,427
[cell phone rings]
27
00:01:07,512 --> 00:01:10,647
Excuse me, movie star calling.
28
00:01:10,765 --> 00:01:12,932
So she's a movie star. Big deal.
29
00:01:13,018 --> 00:01:14,601
She's no different from any of us.
30
00:01:14,736 --> 00:01:16,903
Except that she has three
million Twitter followers
31
00:01:16,988 --> 00:01:20,940
and you have a hard time
handling two e-mail accounts.
32
00:01:21,076 --> 00:01:22,575
It's a lot to juggle, all right?
33
00:01:22,661 --> 00:01:24,944
Although I am thinking of
giving up my AOL account.
34
00:01:25,030 --> 00:01:26,663
Nothing screams "over 40"
35
00:01:26,781 --> 00:01:30,533
like livinlavidaholly@aol.com
36
00:01:32,621 --> 00:01:37,173
Three million followers.
37
00:01:37,292 --> 00:01:41,211
Imagine all those people
hanging on your every word.
38
00:01:41,296 --> 00:01:42,345
Maybe I should go on Twitter.
39
00:01:42,464 --> 00:01:46,382
I have interesting thoughts to share.
40
00:01:46,468 --> 00:01:48,468
I haven't heard any, but
I've only lived with you
41
00:01:48,553 --> 00:01:50,854
for three years.
42
00:01:50,972 --> 00:01:52,138
Uh-huh.
43
00:01:52,274 --> 00:01:53,806
So you think you're more
interesting than me?
44
00:01:53,892 --> 00:01:57,026
Oh-ho! Leaps and bounds, my friend.
45
00:01:57,145 --> 00:01:58,611
For the record, I think you're both boring.
46
00:01:58,697 --> 00:02:02,615
I've zoned out twice since
this conversation started.
47
00:02:02,701 --> 00:02:04,817
All right, how about a
little friendly competition?
48
00:02:04,953 --> 00:02:06,236
We'll both set up Twitter accounts
49
00:02:06,321 --> 00:02:07,820
and whoever gets the most followers wins.
50
00:02:07,956 --> 00:02:11,824
Please, you couldn't even get
your shadow to follow you.
51
00:02:13,828 --> 00:02:15,995
You're on!
52
00:02:16,131 --> 00:02:16,996
Damn.
53
00:02:17,132 --> 00:02:18,047
What's the matter?
54
00:02:18,166 --> 00:02:19,415
Zoey changed our reservation
55
00:02:19,501 --> 00:02:22,051
to some little out-of-the-way
place in Brooklyn.
56
00:02:22,170 --> 00:02:24,170
Wait, so you're stuck in
a romantic restaurant
57
00:02:24,306 --> 00:02:28,508
with a beautiful woman? Why, God, why?
58
00:02:28,643 --> 00:02:29,559
No, you don't get it.
59
00:02:29,678 --> 00:02:31,844
The paparazzi will never find us there.
60
00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:34,063
I'm dating a movie star and
I want the world to see it.
61
00:02:34,182 --> 00:02:35,982
Well, you could always tip off TMZ.
62
00:02:36,067 --> 00:02:37,483
You know, I once made a few bucks
63
00:02:37,569 --> 00:02:40,570
when I spotted Melissa McCarthy
at a Lady Foot Locker.
64
00:02:42,657 --> 00:02:43,823
TMZ, huh?
65
00:02:43,909 --> 00:02:45,858
Phil, you're not actually
considering doing this?
66
00:02:45,944 --> 00:02:50,298
I mean, it's completely
shallow, vain, and despicable.
67
00:02:50,488 --> 00:02:51,408
I can live with that.
68
00:02:53,449 --> 00:02:54,415
[upbeat music]
69
00:03:00,006 --> 00:03:04,925
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
70
00:03:08,765 --> 00:03:10,931
So there I am. Ten years old,
71
00:03:11,050 --> 00:03:13,467
Run-DMC's playing at the Garden,
and I'm begging my parents.
72
00:03:13,553 --> 00:03:15,553
I'm like, "Please, you gotta let me go."
73
00:03:15,638 --> 00:03:17,438
They're like, "Fine. Under one condition.
74
00:03:17,557 --> 00:03:18,889
You take your Nana."
75
00:03:18,975 --> 00:03:21,225
[both laughs]
76
00:03:21,310 --> 00:03:24,528
Oh, my God. You went to a
rap show with your grandma?
77
00:03:24,614 --> 00:03:26,280
Yeah, but she was so cool, man.
78
00:03:26,399 --> 00:03:30,701
I got her a Kangol hat, some gold chains.
79
00:03:30,787 --> 00:03:32,153
Yeah, she even let me draw Adidas stripes
80
00:03:32,238 --> 00:03:33,821
on her orthopedic shoes.
81
00:03:33,906 --> 00:03:36,157
[both laugh]
82
00:03:36,242 --> 00:03:37,541
Okay, she sounds bad-ass.
83
00:03:37,627 --> 00:03:38,742
Yeah, runs in the family.
84
00:03:38,828 --> 00:03:40,578
[giggles]
85
00:03:40,713 --> 00:03:41,912
I got to tell you,
86
00:03:41,998 --> 00:03:45,082
this is going a lot different
than I thought it would.
87
00:03:45,168 --> 00:03:46,917
How'd you think it would go?
88
00:03:47,003 --> 00:03:48,219
You're a movie star,
89
00:03:48,304 --> 00:03:50,671
so I thought we'd be talking
about you all night.
90
00:03:50,756 --> 00:03:53,257
Please. I talk about me 24/7.
91
00:03:53,392 --> 00:03:54,475
I could use the break.
92
00:03:54,594 --> 00:03:59,063
Besides, you're hilarious and adorable.
93
00:03:59,148 --> 00:04:01,432
Well, then let's talk about that.
94
00:04:01,567 --> 00:04:03,684
[laughs]
95
00:04:03,769 --> 00:04:06,103
By the way, thank you for
coming all the way out here.
96
00:04:06,189 --> 00:04:08,439
A lot of guys just want to
go to some flashy restaurant
97
00:04:08,574 --> 00:04:11,108
so they can get their picture in the paper.
98
00:04:14,530 --> 00:04:18,115
People do that?
99
00:04:18,251 --> 00:04:20,903
One guy even tipped off TMZ.
100
00:04:21,871 --> 00:04:23,254
You know,
101
00:04:23,339 --> 00:04:25,122
why don't we get out of here and
get dessert someplace else?
102
00:04:25,208 --> 00:04:26,173
Okay?
103
00:04:26,292 --> 00:04:28,459
But we haven't even finished dinner.
104
00:04:28,544 --> 00:04:33,180
Anyway, I'm feeling real
comfortable right here.
105
00:04:38,304 --> 00:04:41,438
Oh no. I am so sorry, Phil.
106
00:04:41,524 --> 00:04:43,941
Somebody must have tipped them off.
107
00:04:52,821 --> 00:04:55,188
Would either of you care
to hear my latest pearl
108
00:04:55,288 --> 00:04:56,223
from my Twitter feed?
109
00:04:56,278 --> 00:04:58,379
- Not at all.
- No, thank you.
110
00:04:58,591 --> 00:04:59,974
Very well.
111
00:05:00,093 --> 00:05:03,094
"If you stare at an old lady
on the subway long enough,
112
00:05:03,229 --> 00:05:05,146
she'll give you her seat."
113
00:05:08,852 --> 00:05:11,769
#ScareTheElderly.
114
00:05:14,657 --> 00:05:18,276
How about #YoureAnIdiot.
115
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:20,945
Hello, all. My Twitter
feed is up and running.
116
00:05:21,031 --> 00:05:21,946
Who wants to hear my bio?
117
00:05:22,082 --> 00:05:23,114
- No, thank you.
- Not me.
118
00:05:23,249 --> 00:05:24,449
All right.
119
00:05:24,584 --> 00:05:26,918
I'm Dr. Stuart Gardner,
successful New York dentist.
120
00:05:27,003 --> 00:05:28,953
I specialize in analgesic dentistry
121
00:05:29,039 --> 00:05:32,840
and wry observations on this
crazy trip we call life.
122
00:05:34,294 --> 00:05:36,094
It's going to be like taking candy
123
00:05:36,179 --> 00:05:40,048
from a very dull baby.
124
00:05:40,133 --> 00:05:41,549
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Hey!
125
00:05:41,634 --> 00:05:42,550
There he is!
126
00:05:42,635 --> 00:05:43,935
Hey, how'd it go with Zoey?
127
00:05:44,020 --> 00:05:45,019
What did she wear? What did she eat?
128
00:05:45,138 --> 00:05:47,055
Did you get me her fork like you promised?
129
00:05:48,808 --> 00:05:50,391
Zoey is amazing, all right?
130
00:05:50,477 --> 00:05:52,727
Best date ever.
131
00:05:52,812 --> 00:05:55,938
But unfortunately, we had to cut it short
132
00:05:55,941 --> 00:05:57,732
when the damn paparazzi showed up.
133
00:05:57,817 --> 00:06:00,451
You mean the damn paparazzi you called.
134
00:06:02,288 --> 00:06:03,321
Okay. Okay, so, yeah.
135
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,490
I was stupid for doing that.
136
00:06:05,625 --> 00:06:07,792
But look, how was I supposed
to know she was so great
137
00:06:07,877 --> 00:06:09,744
and that I'd like her so much?
138
00:06:09,829 --> 00:06:12,663
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So that's
a negative on the fork?
139
00:06:14,751 --> 00:06:15,716
Hey, check it out.
140
00:06:15,835 --> 00:06:16,834
Somebody posted a picture of you two
141
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,503
on Zoey's Twitter feed.
142
00:06:18,588 --> 00:06:20,138
No, really? What did they saying about me?
143
00:06:20,223 --> 00:06:23,341
Nothing. All good stuff.
144
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,093
Let me see that.
145
00:06:25,178 --> 00:06:28,346
"What's Zoey doing with that nobody?"
146
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:31,732
Nobody?
147
00:06:31,851 --> 00:06:33,017
Well, you know what,
148
00:06:33,153 --> 00:06:34,352
there's always going to
be one hater out there.
149
00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:36,320
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
150
00:06:36,406 --> 00:06:38,106
Why don't you read another one?
151
00:06:38,191 --> 00:06:42,610
"I can't decide. Are his ears
too small or his head too big?
152
00:06:45,031 --> 00:06:46,697
Dude's got baby ears."
153
00:06:46,833 --> 00:06:48,749
[laughs]
154
00:06:51,204 --> 00:06:52,954
All right, now.
155
00:06:53,039 --> 00:06:56,257
These aren't baby ears.
156
00:06:56,376 --> 00:07:00,128
These are man ears.
157
00:07:00,213 --> 00:07:01,929
"Hey Zoey fans, just did a quick search,
158
00:07:02,048 --> 00:07:04,765
and Baby Ears' name is Phil Chase."
159
00:07:04,884 --> 00:07:07,802
"Hey, Phil Chase, your face
is stupid and I hate you."
160
00:07:10,190 --> 00:07:12,440
That's not even clever. They're just mean.
161
00:07:12,559 --> 00:07:14,692
Hey, here's one in Spanish.
162
00:07:14,777 --> 00:07:18,563
"Creo que Phil Chase, parece estupido."
163
00:07:21,568 --> 00:07:23,401
Sounds positive.
164
00:07:25,238 --> 00:07:28,739
[upbeat music]
165
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,683
Oh, hey, Stu.
166
00:07:31,768 --> 00:07:34,485
Guess who has 50 followers?
167
00:07:34,604 --> 00:07:35,520
[whistles]
168
00:07:35,605 --> 00:07:37,405
Ah, that's impressive, Haskell.
169
00:07:37,490 --> 00:07:41,325
Especially since I only have 12....
170
00:07:41,444 --> 00:07:42,994
hundred! Bam!
171
00:07:43,113 --> 00:07:46,114
What? That's impossible!
172
00:07:46,249 --> 00:07:48,449
Oh, no, my bad. Now it's 1,205.
173
00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:49,917
So at the risk of being redundant,
174
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,335
bam!
175
00:07:51,454 --> 00:07:53,037
What the hell could you possibly be saying
176
00:07:53,123 --> 00:07:54,622
that people find interesting?
177
00:07:54,758 --> 00:07:56,624
Let me read you a sample Tweet:
178
00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:58,292
"If you want to make a candle last longer,
179
00:07:58,428 --> 00:07:59,653
keep it in the freezer."
180
00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:04,015
I don't get it.
181
00:08:04,134 --> 00:08:04,966
Oh, you see, the cold helps the wax.
182
00:08:05,101 --> 00:08:06,017
Makes it last...
183
00:08:06,136 --> 00:08:08,269
No, I understand your stupid tip.
184
00:08:08,354 --> 00:08:11,276
I just don't get who on
earth would give a crap.
185
00:08:11,376 --> 00:08:14,308
Well, Mr. G.K. Gunaratna
of Mumbai just said,
186
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:15,359
"You're killing it, brah."
187
00:08:15,478 --> 00:08:18,312
Nah!
188
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:19,363
[knock on door]
189
00:08:19,482 --> 00:08:21,816
It just doesn't make any sense.
190
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,901
It doesn't...
191
00:08:23,987 --> 00:08:26,120
Hi, I'm Zoey. Is Phil here?
192
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,873
You're her.
193
00:08:28,992 --> 00:08:30,208
Look, it's not for me,
194
00:08:30,326 --> 00:08:33,127
but could I get a French
kiss for my nephew?
195
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:39,550
Come in, please, Ms. Banks.
Come in. Come in.
196
00:08:39,669 --> 00:08:41,502
Sorry. Sorry about Haskell.
197
00:08:41,588 --> 00:08:43,755
He's never met a movie
star before, so he's...
198
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,841
I'm Stuart.
199
00:08:46,976 --> 00:08:48,528
I don't know why I just did that.
200
00:08:48,531 --> 00:08:49,095
I'm sorry.
201
00:08:49,179 --> 00:08:50,595
Uh, Phil. Phil!
202
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:52,513
What's going on?
203
00:08:52,649 --> 00:08:53,648
Zoey. Hey.
204
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,983
Hey, Phil. Is there someplace we can talk?
205
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,985
Uh, feel free to use the kitchen.
206
00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:58,986
Thanks, Stuart.
207
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,458
My pleasure.
208
00:09:02,692 --> 00:09:04,025
I don't know what's wrong with me!
209
00:09:06,196 --> 00:09:07,695
Zoey, not that I'm complaining,
210
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,363
but what are you doing here?
211
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:10,832
I don't know if you've seen
it, but some of my fans
212
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:14,008
have been saying some pretty
mean things about you.
213
00:09:15,672 --> 00:09:19,373
What?
214
00:09:19,509 --> 00:09:20,508
Hadn't noticed.
215
00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:22,460
Well, they have, and I'm sorry.
216
00:09:22,545 --> 00:09:25,546
They can get pretty vicious
when I start dating a new guy.
217
00:09:25,682 --> 00:09:26,547
None of this would have even happened
218
00:09:26,683 --> 00:09:29,183
if the paparazzi hadn't shown up.
219
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:32,053
It's not a problem. I've got thick skin.
220
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:34,856
Besides, who cares if some stupid guy
221
00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:37,642
thinks I have baby ears.
222
00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:43,231
I might have read one or two.
223
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:47,034
Well, not to worry. I love
those little puka shells.
224
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,236
[chuckles]
225
00:09:48,371 --> 00:09:51,155
They are cute, aren't they?
226
00:09:51,241 --> 00:09:52,707
Adorable.
227
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:55,576
Listen, tonight I'm going to the
Manhattan Film Critics Awards.
228
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:58,246
To show my fans you're important to me,
229
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,248
why don't you come as my date?
230
00:10:00,383 --> 00:10:01,749
Are you saying you want to show me off?
231
00:10:01,885 --> 00:10:03,718
That's what I'm saying.
232
00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:04,802
Hey.
233
00:10:04,921 --> 00:10:06,420
[both laugh]
234
00:10:06,556 --> 00:10:11,092
I have to get there early to do some press.
235
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:15,396
This will get you past security.
236
00:10:19,986 --> 00:10:23,938
Why don't we just head to
the after party right now?
237
00:10:24,073 --> 00:10:25,273
[ cell phone rings]
238
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,101
Oh. Sorry. I've got to take this.
239
00:10:27,201 --> 00:10:29,027
Do you mind?
240
00:10:29,112 --> 00:10:30,411
False alarm, y'all.
241
00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:31,829
All's good in Zoey Land.
242
00:10:31,948 --> 00:10:33,281
Okay.
243
00:10:33,416 --> 00:10:35,166
I still can't believe there's a
movie star in our apartment.
244
00:10:35,285 --> 00:10:36,951
I feel like I should do
something to impress her.
245
00:10:37,086 --> 00:10:39,587
Oh, why don't you tell her to
put a candle in the freezer
246
00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:41,923
and then curtsey again?
247
00:10:47,297 --> 00:10:48,512
Hey, Phil.
248
00:10:48,631 --> 00:10:49,964
Listen, I've been reading all
of those horrible Tweets
249
00:10:50,099 --> 00:10:52,967
and I don't think you have
beady eyes, chipmunk cheeks,
250
00:10:53,102 --> 00:10:55,092
or an E.T. head.
251
00:10:57,891 --> 00:10:58,806
Well, you don't have to worry about it.
252
00:10:58,942 --> 00:11:00,808
All is good with Zoey and me.
253
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:01,976
As a matter of fact,
254
00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:03,477
she's taking me to an award show tonight.
255
00:11:03,613 --> 00:11:04,946
Great! And this time you won't
have to alert the paparazzi
256
00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:06,280
because they'll already be there.
257
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,713
[Phil laughs]
258
00:11:08,851 --> 00:11:12,954
What? You mean you're the one
who tipped them off last night?
259
00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:13,988
Yes, but...
260
00:11:14,123 --> 00:11:15,239
So this is what that was all about.
261
00:11:15,325 --> 00:11:17,491
You just wanted to be seen with a star?
262
00:11:17,627 --> 00:11:19,160
I trusted you and you set me up?
263
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:21,329
- I can explain.
- Don't bother.
264
00:11:21,464 --> 00:11:23,497
I wouldn't believe it anyway.
265
00:11:25,246 --> 00:11:27,029
[door slams]
266
00:11:27,752 --> 00:11:29,052
I'm sorry, Phil. I didn't mean...
267
00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:29,947
Well, you did.
268
00:11:33,509 --> 00:11:35,076
[upbeat music]
269
00:11:39,622 --> 00:11:41,289
Phil didn't accept your apology basket?
270
00:11:41,374 --> 00:11:42,290
No.
271
00:11:42,375 --> 00:11:43,624
(Eden) Well, I'll take it.
272
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,176
I've got an uncle who's
taken a turn for the worse.
273
00:11:45,295 --> 00:11:48,596
It'll give me something to
snack on while I'm visiting.
274
00:11:48,681 --> 00:11:50,131
I don't even know why I feel so guilty.
275
00:11:50,266 --> 00:11:51,632
If Phil hadn't called the paparazzi,
276
00:11:51,718 --> 00:11:54,051
there would have been nothing
for me to accidentally blurt.
277
00:11:54,137 --> 00:11:55,470
You're totally blameless.
278
00:11:55,605 --> 00:11:57,138
How can you say that?
279
00:11:57,223 --> 00:11:58,272
If I hadn't opened my big mouth,
280
00:11:58,358 --> 00:11:59,607
none of this would have happened.
281
00:11:59,692 --> 00:12:00,858
That's true.
282
00:12:00,977 --> 00:12:03,861
Don't you judge me. You weren't even there.
283
00:12:03,980 --> 00:12:05,113
I feel like I should do something,
284
00:12:05,198 --> 00:12:06,731
but maybe I should just stay out of it.
285
00:12:06,816 --> 00:12:07,899
Maybe you should.
286
00:12:07,984 --> 00:12:08,983
How could you be so heartless?
287
00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:12,487
I just destroyed a man's relationship.
288
00:12:12,622 --> 00:12:14,622
I need to do something, but what?
289
00:12:14,707 --> 00:12:15,905
What? Don't just stand there.
290
00:12:16,005 --> 00:12:17,710
Say something.
291
00:12:17,827 --> 00:12:21,829
Before I do, can we agree on a safe word?
292
00:12:21,965 --> 00:12:24,415
I know. Zoey's going to be
at that award show tonight.
293
00:12:24,501 --> 00:12:25,466
All I have to do is go down there
294
00:12:25,552 --> 00:12:27,668
and catch her before she gets in.
295
00:12:27,754 --> 00:12:28,669
- Eden.
- Asparagus.
296
00:12:28,755 --> 00:12:32,006
What?
297
00:12:32,091 --> 00:12:34,842
That's going to be my safe word.
298
00:12:34,978 --> 00:12:36,260
So should I go down there?
299
00:12:36,346 --> 00:12:38,846
Yes. No. Maybe.
300
00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:41,682
Great! All right. I've got
30 minutes to get ready.
301
00:12:41,768 --> 00:12:42,817
Help me squeeze into something sexy.
302
00:12:42,902 --> 00:12:45,603
You might have to move some stuff around.
303
00:12:48,512 --> 00:12:50,422
Asparagus.
304
00:12:52,078 --> 00:12:54,996
[upbeat music]
305
00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:02,036
Hello.
306
00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:04,172
Hi, can I see your pass, please?
307
00:13:04,257 --> 00:13:06,007
Oh, it's not around my neck?
308
00:13:06,092 --> 00:13:07,208
Oh, it was there just a second ago.
309
00:13:07,293 --> 00:13:09,043
It must have slipped down.
310
00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:11,379
Can you see it?
311
00:13:11,464 --> 00:13:12,380
No.
312
00:13:12,515 --> 00:13:13,764
Are you sure? Take a look.
313
00:13:13,883 --> 00:13:16,551
Take a long, lingering look.
314
00:13:16,636 --> 00:13:19,554
Nope, still don't see it.
Thanks for the peek, though.
315
00:13:19,639 --> 00:13:20,688
Now back behind the rope.
316
00:13:20,773 --> 00:13:21,856
No, you peeked.
317
00:13:21,941 --> 00:13:23,224
And a peek is as good as a pass.
318
00:13:23,359 --> 00:13:25,810
It's an implied contract. I'm a lawyer.
319
00:13:25,895 --> 00:13:27,478
Back behind the rope.
320
00:13:27,564 --> 00:13:29,730
You'll see these in court.
321
00:13:32,735 --> 00:13:34,869
There you are, Alfonso.
322
00:13:34,954 --> 00:13:36,821
I haven't seen you since Cannes.
323
00:13:36,906 --> 00:13:39,073
You absolutely should
have won the Palme D'Or.
324
00:13:39,158 --> 00:13:40,074
You were hosed.
325
00:13:40,159 --> 00:13:42,743
- But I'm not...
- Hosed!
326
00:13:42,829 --> 00:13:45,162
You know, I'm not who you think I am.
327
00:13:45,248 --> 00:13:46,380
Are any of us?
328
00:13:46,466 --> 00:13:49,417
Now go stand over there and ponder that.
329
00:13:51,421 --> 00:13:52,336
Zoey!
330
00:13:52,422 --> 00:13:53,721
Miss! Over here!
331
00:13:53,806 --> 00:13:54,722
What?
332
00:13:54,807 --> 00:13:58,643
- Oh.
- Show us your dress!
333
00:13:58,761 --> 00:14:00,261
(photographer) Who are you?
334
00:14:00,346 --> 00:14:04,682
Just another innocent ing?nue,
spewed out by the dream machine.
335
00:14:06,436 --> 00:14:09,270
"Fall sunrises are the best.
336
00:14:09,405 --> 00:14:11,272
Re-tweet if you agree."
337
00:14:11,407 --> 00:14:14,275
Hey, Haskell. I just
reached the 5,000 mark.
338
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,827
Is that good?
339
00:14:16,946 --> 00:14:19,447
How the hell are you getting all
these people to follow you?
340
00:14:19,532 --> 00:14:20,498
I don't know.
341
00:14:20,617 --> 00:14:23,084
I guess I'm just number sign blessed!
342
00:14:23,169 --> 00:14:26,837
It's hashtag! Hashtag!
343
00:14:26,956 --> 00:14:30,708
All right, two can play
at this Stuart lame game.
344
00:14:30,793 --> 00:14:32,293
All right.
345
00:14:32,428 --> 00:14:37,048
"Roll neck sweaters are like a warm hug."
346
00:14:38,685 --> 00:14:40,434
I just lost five followers.
347
00:14:42,772 --> 00:14:43,771
What are you doing?
348
00:14:43,856 --> 00:14:45,306
Oh, I want to watch the award show.
349
00:14:45,391 --> 00:14:48,309
I'm in a fantasy fashion pool.
350
00:14:48,444 --> 00:14:50,695
How insensitive can you be?
351
00:14:50,813 --> 00:14:53,147
Phil is in the next room
heartbroken over Zoey.
352
00:14:53,232 --> 00:14:56,651
Every time he sees her face a
little piece of him will die.
353
00:14:56,736 --> 00:14:59,620
Because he knows that he screwed
up the best thing he ever had.
354
00:14:59,706 --> 00:15:01,822
Hey, champ.
355
00:15:03,993 --> 00:15:06,077
You know what, why don't
I just turn off the TV?
356
00:15:06,162 --> 00:15:07,161
Oh, no, it's okay.
357
00:15:07,246 --> 00:15:09,547
I screwed up big time, man.
358
00:15:09,666 --> 00:15:11,582
I'm going to have to get
used to seeing her face.
359
00:15:11,668 --> 00:15:12,717
Hey, is it me,
360
00:15:12,835 --> 00:15:14,552
or does that tall woman shamelessly mugging
361
00:15:14,671 --> 00:15:17,388
for the camera look like Holly?
362
00:15:17,507 --> 00:15:19,140
(Haskell) It is Holly!
363
00:15:19,225 --> 00:15:20,341
What is she doing there?
364
00:15:20,426 --> 00:15:21,842
Oh my...
365
00:15:21,928 --> 00:15:24,261
She must be trying to fix
things with me and Zoey.
366
00:15:24,347 --> 00:15:28,516
No! Hey! Get off the red carpet, girl!
367
00:15:30,353 --> 00:15:34,438
Get your ass off the carpet!
368
00:15:34,524 --> 00:15:38,526
You... you know she can't hear you, right?
369
00:15:38,661 --> 00:15:40,244
She will when I get down there.
370
00:15:40,363 --> 00:15:42,363
[upbeat music]
371
00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:49,079
I'm here with the beautiful
and talented Zoey Banks
372
00:15:49,164 --> 00:15:50,414
who's got a movie coming out next week.
373
00:15:50,499 --> 00:15:51,832
Tell us about it.
374
00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:54,501
Well, it's been a passion
project of mine for years.
375
00:15:54,586 --> 00:15:57,921
It goes back to a time when
women were invisible in society
376
00:15:58,007 --> 00:15:59,389
and had no voice.
377
00:15:59,475 --> 00:16:02,592
- Hello.
- Holly?
378
00:16:02,678 --> 00:16:04,311
- May I speak to you?
- Excuse me.
379
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:06,063
We're kind of in the
middle of an interview.
380
00:16:06,148 --> 00:16:07,481
Okay, well, we'll be right back
381
00:16:07,599 --> 00:16:08,765
and then I'll tell you who I'm wearing
382
00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:11,601
and what I'm not.
383
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:14,187
What are you doing here?
384
00:16:14,273 --> 00:16:15,489
- It's about Phil.
- Yeah, that's just not...
385
00:16:15,607 --> 00:16:16,823
I know he screwed up, all right?
386
00:16:16,942 --> 00:16:18,191
He got caught up in all of this.
387
00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:20,777
Some people just can't handle it.
388
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:22,446
Oh.
389
00:16:22,531 --> 00:16:24,448
Listen. He's a great guy.
390
00:16:24,533 --> 00:16:26,116
And he really likes you.
391
00:16:26,201 --> 00:16:29,953
Well, I'm sorry. I just can't
be with someone I don't trust.
392
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:31,204
Phil's really crushed.
393
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:33,187
Please, give him another chance.
394
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:35,798
Yeah, I've got to go.
395
00:16:40,753 --> 00:16:41,786
Holly?
396
00:16:41,871 --> 00:16:43,120
What the hell are you doing here?
397
00:16:43,206 --> 00:16:45,089
You're going to embarrass
me and make things worse.
398
00:16:45,208 --> 00:16:46,090
No, nobody's getting embarrassed.
399
00:16:46,209 --> 00:16:49,426
Zoey! Zoey!
400
00:16:49,545 --> 00:16:51,212
Would you just stop it?
401
00:16:51,297 --> 00:16:52,513
And now you're here?
402
00:16:52,598 --> 00:16:53,514
I don't know what's going on,
403
00:16:53,599 --> 00:16:54,965
but would you please just leave?
404
00:16:55,051 --> 00:16:56,383
Yes, I'll leave.
405
00:16:56,519 --> 00:16:58,769
But since I'm here, there's
something I want to say.
406
00:16:58,888 --> 00:17:00,771
We're listening.
407
00:17:00,890 --> 00:17:03,057
- Do you mind?
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
408
00:17:03,192 --> 00:17:06,610
Give 'em room, people!
409
00:17:06,729 --> 00:17:07,561
Yes?
410
00:17:07,697 --> 00:17:09,647
I screwed up big-time.
411
00:17:09,732 --> 00:17:10,731
And calling the paparazzi
412
00:17:10,867 --> 00:17:13,402
was the stupidest thing I've ever done.
413
00:17:13,405 --> 00:17:15,856
I just wanted to brag that I
was out with a movie star.
414
00:17:17,206 --> 00:17:19,080
Funny thing happened on our date.
415
00:17:20,409 --> 00:17:23,127
I fell for the girl, not the star.
416
00:17:23,570 --> 00:17:26,705
And I just wanted you to know that.
417
00:17:28,634 --> 00:17:30,467
- Phil, don't go!
- That's my line!
418
00:17:30,586 --> 00:17:31,719
Well, say it, already!
419
00:17:31,804 --> 00:17:33,930
Phil, don't go!
420
00:17:35,558 --> 00:17:36,590
How about we start all over
421
00:17:36,676 --> 00:17:41,178
and you walk me down the red carpet?
422
00:17:41,264 --> 00:17:42,396
I don't think so.
423
00:17:42,481 --> 00:17:43,514
What?
424
00:17:43,599 --> 00:17:45,266
Yeah, it's like you said.
425
00:17:45,401 --> 00:17:46,433
I want to start over,
426
00:17:46,519 --> 00:17:50,688
but without the cameras
or any of this stuff.
427
00:17:50,773 --> 00:17:51,954
Just us.
428
00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:55,976
I'd like that.
429
00:18:00,616 --> 00:18:02,950
I like that.
430
00:18:03,035 --> 00:18:04,451
I'd better get inside.
431
00:18:04,587 --> 00:18:07,121
Yes, they're waiting for us.
432
00:18:07,206 --> 00:18:10,958
Why not?
433
00:18:11,093 --> 00:18:12,376
(Photographer) Just Zoey! Just Zoey!
434
00:18:12,461 --> 00:18:14,929
Bite me.
435
00:18:15,014 --> 00:18:17,932
[upbeat music]
436
00:18:20,469 --> 00:18:21,385
I'm afraid to look.
437
00:18:21,470 --> 00:18:23,475
How many followers does he have?
438
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,473
Yeah, he's up to 10,000.
439
00:18:26,559 --> 00:18:28,108
Impossible! How can that many people
440
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:29,727
be interested in the inane musings
441
00:18:29,812 --> 00:18:31,843
of an analgesic dentist?
442
00:18:33,950 --> 00:18:35,032
I think I just figured it out, Haskell.
443
00:18:35,151 --> 00:18:36,150
What is it?
444
00:18:36,235 --> 00:18:37,568
Well, it looks like Stuart didn't know
445
00:18:37,653 --> 00:18:39,653
that Twitter limits the number
of characters you can have
446
00:18:39,789 --> 00:18:43,824
in the bio. He got cut off mid-sentence.
447
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:45,326
Let me see.
448
00:18:45,461 --> 00:18:48,412
"I'm Dr. Stuart Gardner, a
successful New York dentist,
449
00:18:48,497 --> 00:18:52,182
and I specialize in anal."
450
00:19:02,595 --> 00:19:05,846
Well...
451
00:19:05,932 --> 00:19:08,816
Well, Haskell, time's up.
452
00:19:08,901 --> 00:19:12,569
Are you ready to concede that
I'm the more popular guy?
453
00:19:12,688 --> 00:19:16,240
Yes, I am.
454
00:19:16,359 --> 00:19:20,110
Stuart, you have way
more to offer than I do.
455
00:19:23,165 --> 00:19:25,449
There's a "but" coming, isn't there?
456
00:19:29,872 --> 00:19:31,015
Not from me.
457
00:19:33,042 --> 00:19:35,592
- All right.
- Congratulations, Stuart.
458
00:19:35,711 --> 00:19:37,418
Hey, bottoms up.
459
00:19:37,964 --> 00:19:39,613
[upbeat music]
460
00:19:39,615 --> 00:19:41,615
www.addic7ed.com
461
00:19:41,665 --> 00:19:46,215
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