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1
00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:05,036
[Upbeat music]
2
00:00:05,070 --> 00:00:07,305
[Door unlocks]
3
00:00:09,675 --> 00:00:11,842
[Exhales]
4
00:00:11,877 --> 00:00:13,511
Everything okay, Stuart?
5
00:00:13,546 --> 00:00:17,081
[Clears throat]
I'm holding.
6
00:00:17,115 --> 00:00:18,983
I'm carrying!
7
00:00:19,017 --> 00:00:22,086
You trying to tell us
you're pregnant?
8
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:25,623
- 'Cause if any guy could do it--
- No. No, no.
9
00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:29,994
- I scored some marijuana.
- Oh! Ho-ho-ho!
10
00:00:30,028 --> 00:00:31,829
- So who's your connection?
- Uh, my patient,
11
00:00:31,863 --> 00:00:34,098
old man Finklestein.
He takes it for his glaucoma.
12
00:00:34,132 --> 00:00:36,501
Mm.
13
00:00:36,535 --> 00:00:39,337
Nice!
California kush.
14
00:00:40,906 --> 00:00:45,743
That old pothead Finklestein
really knows his yum-yum.
15
00:00:45,777 --> 00:00:49,581
You seem to know
it too, cheech.
16
00:00:49,615 --> 00:00:55,119
Well, back in the day,
I enjoyed the occasional toke.
17
00:00:55,153 --> 00:00:58,756
Pot was a staple
on the pro bowler's tour,
18
00:00:58,790 --> 00:01:03,261
along with milky ways
and plus-sized women.
19
00:01:03,295 --> 00:01:07,732
Well, listen, I've, uh--
I've never done pot before.
20
00:01:07,766 --> 00:01:12,036
You think it's time for Stu-dog
to, uh--[Inhales]
21
00:01:12,070 --> 00:01:16,541
- Puff the dragon?
- I think it's way overdue.
22
00:01:16,575 --> 00:01:19,777
So what are we waiting for?
23
00:01:19,811 --> 00:01:23,581
- Let's spark up a fatty!
- Eh, hold it--hold it.
24
00:01:23,616 --> 00:01:25,250
The smoke tickles my nose,
and the smell will stay
25
00:01:25,284 --> 00:01:27,151
in the throw cushions
for months.
26
00:01:27,185 --> 00:01:31,956
It's like getting high
with Martha Stewart.
27
00:01:31,990 --> 00:01:34,425
Fine. We'll make
pot brownies.
28
00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:38,229
Oh, good idea!
We'll ingest it.
29
00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:39,964
Although brownies are
a little pedestrian.
30
00:01:39,998 --> 00:01:41,466
Oh! I got it!
I got it.
31
00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:43,000
There's
a spinach frittata recipe
32
00:01:43,034 --> 00:01:44,034
I've been dying to try.
33
00:01:44,069 --> 00:01:47,138
Mmm. Party on.
34
00:01:47,172 --> 00:01:54,532
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
35
00:01:56,527 --> 00:01:57,815
Good morning!
36
00:01:57,849 --> 00:01:59,517
Ah, Holly, thanks again
37
00:01:59,551 --> 00:02:01,919
for insisting I stay here
until I have the baby.
38
00:02:01,953 --> 00:02:05,623
Anything for you,
my preggy little roommate.
39
00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:09,494
Eden, if there's anything
you want, just ask for it
40
00:02:09,528 --> 00:02:11,228
because I am in a great mood.
41
00:02:11,263 --> 00:02:13,298
My sister Jill
is coming for a visit.
42
00:02:17,536 --> 00:02:19,404
- in your face?
- Mm-hmm.
43
00:02:19,438 --> 00:02:20,738
That's the one.
44
00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:23,908
She's in town to see
the flower show.
45
00:02:23,942 --> 00:02:26,243
Oh, and she always gives me
this look that says,
46
00:02:26,278 --> 00:02:29,747
"Poor Holly, your life
is so sad and empty."
47
00:02:31,917 --> 00:02:34,652
And it's not, right?
48
00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:37,121
Of course it's not!
49
00:02:37,155 --> 00:02:38,989
I have an awesome
new boyfriend.
50
00:02:39,024 --> 00:02:41,659
So for once, she won't be
giving me the "Poor Holly" look.
51
00:02:41,694 --> 00:02:43,127
[Laughs]
[Phone chimes]
52
00:02:43,161 --> 00:02:46,063
Ooh! My boyfriend Paul
just texted.
53
00:02:46,097 --> 00:02:47,532
Oh, I can't--
I don't have my glasses.
54
00:02:47,566 --> 00:02:48,899
- Can you read it for me?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
55
00:02:48,934 --> 00:02:52,570
Thanks.
56
00:02:52,604 --> 00:02:54,238
Read it out loud.
57
00:02:54,272 --> 00:02:57,542
Um, I don't want to.
58
00:02:57,576 --> 00:03:00,010
Eden, what does it say?
59
00:03:00,045 --> 00:03:02,213
Paul had to rush out of town.
60
00:03:02,247 --> 00:03:04,582
What? Why?
61
00:03:04,616 --> 00:03:06,551
His 103-year-old aunt
just died.
62
00:03:06,585 --> 00:03:10,020
Please don't hurt me.
I'm small and pregnant.
63
00:03:10,055 --> 00:03:12,189
So I can't show off
my new boyfriend
64
00:03:12,224 --> 00:03:15,092
just because some selfish
bag of bones picks this weekend
65
00:03:15,126 --> 00:03:16,861
to have a dirt nap?
66
00:03:16,895 --> 00:03:19,530
I would love to stay
and be supportive,
67
00:03:19,565 --> 00:03:23,167
but the baby wants to get
the hell outta here.
68
00:03:23,201 --> 00:03:27,739
[Groans]
69
00:03:27,773 --> 00:03:30,775
[Knock on door]
70
00:03:34,279 --> 00:03:37,248
- [Gasps]
- Jill!
71
00:03:37,282 --> 00:03:41,519
- Holly! So great to see you!
- Mm-hmm.
72
00:03:41,553 --> 00:03:43,954
Aw, I've interrupted
your breakfast.
73
00:03:43,989 --> 00:03:46,624
Your great, big one.
[Sighs]
74
00:03:46,658 --> 00:03:48,626
Jill, what are you doing here?
We were supposed to meet
75
00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:50,060
at your hotel later.
76
00:03:50,095 --> 00:03:52,162
Well, I got an early start.
77
00:03:52,197 --> 00:03:54,499
Did my power walk,
had a protein smoothie,
78
00:03:54,533 --> 00:03:56,133
picked up
some Christmas ornaments.
79
00:03:56,167 --> 00:03:57,835
You know, it's never too early.
80
00:03:57,870 --> 00:03:59,537
- Mm.
- And [Clears throat] I thought,
81
00:03:59,571 --> 00:04:02,440
well,
"Holly must be up by now."
82
00:04:02,474 --> 00:04:05,676
And you kinda are.
83
00:04:05,711 --> 00:04:10,047
So, Holly, tell me,
how are you?
84
00:04:10,081 --> 00:04:13,217
I'm great. Fabulous.
Never been better.
85
00:04:13,251 --> 00:04:16,220
No, really.
86
00:04:16,254 --> 00:04:17,955
How are you?
87
00:04:17,989 --> 00:04:20,458
Ever since mom told me
about your ex-fiance cheating
88
00:04:20,492 --> 00:04:24,929
on you, all I can think about
is "Poor Holly."
89
00:04:24,963 --> 00:04:27,298
No, no, no, no.
Happy Holly.
90
00:04:27,332 --> 00:04:30,234
I-I told you on the phone
I have an awesome new boyfriend.
91
00:04:30,268 --> 00:04:33,103
Right!
Can't wait to meet him!
92
00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:34,238
About that...
93
00:04:34,272 --> 00:04:36,674
Um, unfortunately,
he had to dash
94
00:04:36,708 --> 00:04:39,243
out of town unexpectedly.
95
00:04:39,277 --> 00:04:43,247
Of course he did.
Hug?
96
00:04:43,281 --> 00:04:47,452
No hug. I'm telling you,
I have someone in my life.
97
00:04:47,486 --> 00:04:51,456
Holly, we're out of body wash.
98
00:04:51,490 --> 00:04:54,358
- Eden, this is my sister Jill.
- Hi, hi.
99
00:04:54,392 --> 00:04:56,527
I have heard a lot about you.
100
00:04:56,562 --> 00:04:57,795
And I have heard nothing
101
00:04:57,830 --> 00:05:00,431
about you, Eden.
102
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:01,866
You live here?
103
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:05,336
Yeah, yeah. Holly insisted,
me being knocked up and all.
104
00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:08,038
Oh, Holly, that reminds me:
105
00:05:08,073 --> 00:05:10,207
I was able to book
that Lamaze class on Sunday.
106
00:05:10,241 --> 00:05:12,009
It's in the west village,
so I'm sure
107
00:05:12,043 --> 00:05:13,878
we won't be
the only girl-girl team.
108
00:05:13,912 --> 00:05:15,713
[Laughs]
109
00:05:15,747 --> 00:05:19,083
Oh, my God.
110
00:05:19,117 --> 00:05:20,751
Holly, you're gay.
111
00:05:20,786 --> 00:05:26,156
- What?
- Hello!
112
00:05:26,191 --> 00:05:28,593
It all makes sense now.
113
00:05:28,627 --> 00:05:29,727
When we were kids,
114
00:05:29,761 --> 00:05:33,364
all of the Martina Navratilova
posters.
115
00:05:33,398 --> 00:05:37,201
- She was a world-class athlete.
- Mm.
116
00:05:37,235 --> 00:05:39,570
- Listen, Jill--
- Holls.
117
00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:45,175
I have never been
more proud of you.
118
00:05:45,210 --> 00:05:46,744
Wait--wait, what?
119
00:05:46,778 --> 00:05:49,947
You're living your life
openly, on your own terms.
120
00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:55,052
And on top of that,
you're having a baby!
121
00:05:55,086 --> 00:05:57,454
Holly, I'm in awe of you.
122
00:05:57,489 --> 00:05:58,856
You're in awe of me?
123
00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:01,592
Uh, Jill, I think
124
00:06:01,627 --> 00:06:06,430
there's something Holls
needs to tell you. [Laughs]
125
00:06:06,464 --> 00:06:08,633
She's right, Jill.
126
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:10,367
Eden and I are...
127
00:06:10,402 --> 00:06:13,170
Crazy stupid in love.
128
00:06:13,204 --> 00:06:15,339
Um...
[Giggles]
129
00:06:19,571 --> 00:06:23,840
[Upbeat music]
130
00:06:23,874 --> 00:06:25,775
Yeah.
[Snickering]
131
00:06:25,810 --> 00:06:28,912
Yeah, you realize
this is the first time
132
00:06:28,946 --> 00:06:32,182
that we're all
getting high together.
133
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:33,850
Maybe someone should say
a few words.
134
00:06:33,884 --> 00:06:38,222
Oh, I will! I will!
Stop talking.
135
00:06:38,256 --> 00:06:42,226
See you on the other side.
136
00:06:42,260 --> 00:06:44,694
[Knocks on door]
137
00:06:44,729 --> 00:06:47,564
Sweet Christmas!
Is that the po-po?
138
00:06:50,968 --> 00:06:53,504
Listen, I'm only going
to explain this once.
139
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:56,206
Eden and I are lovers,
and my sister is taking us
140
00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:59,676
out to dinner to celebrate
the birth of our love child.
141
00:07:03,348 --> 00:07:06,150
This stuff is awesome.
142
00:07:09,621 --> 00:07:13,290
I got caught in this
stupid lie with my sister,
143
00:07:13,324 --> 00:07:14,958
and I-I'm going to tell her
the truth tonight,
144
00:07:14,992 --> 00:07:17,361
but I need you guys there
for moral support.
145
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:18,928
- You got it.
- Yeah, we'll be there!
146
00:07:18,963 --> 00:07:20,597
All right, great.
What's that smell?
147
00:07:20,632 --> 00:07:23,667
Not pot!
148
00:07:23,701 --> 00:07:27,471
[Upbeat music]
149
00:07:27,505 --> 00:07:30,106
Wow!
Look at all the women here!
150
00:07:30,141 --> 00:07:32,042
It must be ladies' night!
151
00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:34,545
I think every night here
is ladies' night.
152
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:39,283
- This is a lesbian bar.
- Oh!
153
00:07:39,317 --> 00:07:42,986
That explains
the neon vagina out front.
154
00:07:43,020 --> 00:07:45,389
- There's my awesome sister.
- Oh!
155
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,291
Your beautiful baby mama.
156
00:07:47,325 --> 00:07:49,393
That's us!
[Giggles]
157
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,395
Hope you guys
haven't been here before.
158
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:52,729
Concierge at my hotel said
159
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:54,665
this is the hippest
kitty-cat shack in town.
160
00:07:54,699 --> 00:07:57,267
- Check me out with the jargon.
- Yeah.
161
00:07:57,302 --> 00:07:59,803
- Look, I got us a table.
- Okay.
162
00:07:59,837 --> 00:08:02,138
- [Clears throat] Uh, dear?
- Oh, yes, of course.
163
00:08:02,173 --> 00:08:04,040
This one.
164
00:08:04,075 --> 00:08:05,409
Luckily, what she lacks
in etiquette,
165
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:08,111
she makes up
in other departments. [Snickers]
166
00:08:08,145 --> 00:08:11,381
[Gasps]
167
00:08:11,416 --> 00:08:16,086
[Laughs]
168
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,521
Where are we, man?
169
00:08:17,555 --> 00:08:21,458
Well, considering the fact
that it's all women,
170
00:08:21,492 --> 00:08:23,660
and we're the only guys here,
171
00:08:23,695 --> 00:08:28,599
I would say that this is
the greatest bar in the world.
172
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:33,036
Yeah, jackpot.
173
00:08:33,070 --> 00:08:35,672
Hey.
Hey.
174
00:08:35,707 --> 00:08:38,342
How amazing was that taxi ride?
175
00:08:38,376 --> 00:08:41,445
We started in one place
and ended up in another!
176
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:44,514
We were there,
and now we're here!
177
00:08:44,549 --> 00:08:47,351
[Laughs]
178
00:08:47,385 --> 00:08:50,086
Yeah, this pond is stocked.
It's gonna be easy.
179
00:08:50,121 --> 00:08:51,588
Check me out.
180
00:08:51,623 --> 00:08:54,224
Hey, girl.
181
00:08:54,259 --> 00:08:57,494
Hey, sweetheart,
what's going on?
182
00:08:57,528 --> 00:08:59,329
You're seriously hitting on me?
183
00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:00,330
Mm-hmm.
184
00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:02,332
Trust me,
there are no women here
185
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:05,335
that are interested in you.
186
00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:08,037
What the hell is going on here?
187
00:09:11,108 --> 00:09:14,511
- Hi.
- Yes, I am.
188
00:09:14,545 --> 00:09:17,947
[Giggles] I'm glad
you're here.
189
00:09:17,982 --> 00:09:19,650
Nothing but lipsticks
out tonight.
190
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:23,420
Yeah, the only woman I see
is the one standing
191
00:09:23,454 --> 00:09:25,322
right in front of me.
192
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:26,956
Right back at ya.
193
00:09:26,991 --> 00:09:31,127
Hmm.
194
00:09:31,162 --> 00:09:34,130
Pfft!
[Giggles]
195
00:09:34,165 --> 00:09:37,567
[Laughter]
196
00:09:37,602 --> 00:09:40,537
Wow, how cool is this?
197
00:09:40,571 --> 00:09:43,473
If I were home right now,
I'd be in bed playing sudoku
198
00:09:43,508 --> 00:09:45,575
and poking Barry
to stop snoring.
199
00:09:45,610 --> 00:09:49,245
So you're saying that my life
is more exciting than yours?
200
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:51,715
Come on, look at you two.
201
00:09:51,749 --> 00:09:54,918
I almost forgot what
it looks like to be in love.
202
00:09:54,952 --> 00:09:56,553
I'm so jealous.
203
00:09:56,587 --> 00:09:59,055
You're jealous of me?
204
00:09:59,089 --> 00:10:01,391
Holly, isn't there something
you wanted to tell Jill?
205
00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:05,395
No, I'm good.
206
00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:09,433
Hey, uh, cute stuff, you
wanna--chik-chika--dance?
207
00:10:09,467 --> 00:10:14,805
Me? Uh, no,
I'm with my lady. [Chuckles]
208
00:10:14,839 --> 00:10:16,272
Oh, now, don't be silly.
Go, have fun--
209
00:10:16,307 --> 00:10:18,542
- Oh, I don't know.
- You heard her.
210
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:19,543
- Let's do this.
- Oh, my--ow!
211
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:24,614
Come on!
212
00:10:24,649 --> 00:10:27,784
Mmm, I like your burly arms.
213
00:10:27,819 --> 00:10:32,222
I get that
from my mother's side.
214
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:34,624
Whoa! What the hell was that
against my hip?
215
00:10:34,659 --> 00:10:36,526
I get that
from my father's side.
216
00:10:36,561 --> 00:10:39,763
Oh, my God, you're a guy?
217
00:10:39,797 --> 00:10:42,131
What the hell are you doing
at a lesbian club?
218
00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:46,336
Lesbian club?
219
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,909
How's it going?
I'm Stacey.
220
00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:56,913
I'm...Hazel.
221
00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:59,683
- Mm.
- [Laughs]
222
00:11:05,556 --> 00:11:09,793
Oh, look at her out there.
So free!
223
00:11:09,827 --> 00:11:13,997
Playing by her own rules.
224
00:11:14,031 --> 00:11:18,234
Me, I've always lived
in a stifling little box.
225
00:11:18,269 --> 00:11:20,303
Lately, it's been
more like a prison.
226
00:11:20,337 --> 00:11:22,806
You okay there, Jill?
227
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:28,077
No, I've got
to stop kidding myself.
228
00:11:28,112 --> 00:11:29,946
Barry and I
aren't a real couple,
229
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,381
not like you and Holly.
230
00:11:31,416 --> 00:11:34,418
I mean, we haven't been
a real couple for years.
231
00:11:34,452 --> 00:11:37,120
We're just two people
sharing the same house.
232
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:41,124
Ooh, ah!
Gee.
233
00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:43,894
Ah.
234
00:11:46,898 --> 00:11:49,800
Well, that was unsettling.
235
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,168
[Sighs] So how are things
over here?
236
00:11:52,202 --> 00:11:55,305
Holly, watching you
live your life
237
00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:59,743
has made me realize
I've got to start living mine.
238
00:11:59,777 --> 00:12:01,711
When I get home,
I'm telling Barry
239
00:12:01,746 --> 00:12:03,480
our marriage is over.
240
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:05,515
What?
241
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:13,962
[Upbeat music]
242
00:12:15,465 --> 00:12:18,733
Listen, Jill,
now that you've slept on it,
243
00:12:18,767 --> 00:12:21,069
you're not serious
about getting a divorce.
244
00:12:21,104 --> 00:12:24,239
Holly, I told you,
my marriage is over.
245
00:12:24,273 --> 00:12:26,007
I finally have the courage
to end it,
246
00:12:26,041 --> 00:12:27,542
and I owe it to you.
247
00:12:27,577 --> 00:12:30,145
Look, Jill, there's something
you need to know.
248
00:12:30,179 --> 00:12:31,946
Eden and I are just--
[Knocks on door]
249
00:12:31,981 --> 00:12:36,851
- Who is it?
- It's your mother!
250
00:12:36,885 --> 00:12:38,886
Ugh, what is she doing here?
251
00:12:38,921 --> 00:12:41,389
- Did you call her?
- Of course I didn't call her.
252
00:12:41,424 --> 00:12:43,024
Do not tell her
I'm getting divorced.
253
00:12:43,058 --> 00:12:45,994
Don't tell her I'm a lesbian.
254
00:12:46,028 --> 00:12:47,429
Hi.
255
00:12:47,463 --> 00:12:49,464
What took you so long
to get to the door?
256
00:12:49,499 --> 00:12:51,733
This place
isn't exactly Versailles.
257
00:12:51,767 --> 00:12:54,436
[Gasps] There's my Jilly.
258
00:12:54,470 --> 00:12:56,838
[Gasps] I love
that color on you.
259
00:12:56,872 --> 00:12:58,440
- Oh, thanks, mom.
- Ooh.
260
00:12:58,474 --> 00:13:02,844
And, Holly, that eye shadow
makes you look angry.
261
00:13:02,878 --> 00:13:06,481
Thanks, mom.
So what you doing here?
262
00:13:06,516 --> 00:13:08,983
Well, how often do
my two girls get together?
263
00:13:09,018 --> 00:13:14,022
I cashed in some miles,
and now it's a threesome.
264
00:13:14,056 --> 00:13:15,957
I missed you, Jill.
265
00:13:15,991 --> 00:13:17,992
I missed you too, mom.
266
00:13:18,027 --> 00:13:21,863
Seriously?
Y-you see her every day.
267
00:13:21,897 --> 00:13:23,331
You haven't seen me
in, like, four months.
268
00:13:23,366 --> 00:13:25,800
Don't be so sensitive!
269
00:13:25,834 --> 00:13:27,135
I missed you too.
270
00:13:27,170 --> 00:13:29,103
I'm just used to having
Jill around.
271
00:13:29,138 --> 00:13:34,309
Oh, Jill, before I forget,
the club newsletter came, and--
272
00:13:34,343 --> 00:13:36,077
[Sighs]
- [Gasps]
273
00:13:36,111 --> 00:13:38,346
She and Barry won
the mixed doubles
274
00:13:38,381 --> 00:13:39,581
tennis tournament.
275
00:13:39,615 --> 00:13:42,384
How amazing is that?
276
00:13:42,418 --> 00:13:44,719
You do realize
that I'm a partner
277
00:13:44,753 --> 00:13:46,421
in a law firm this year.
278
00:13:46,455 --> 00:13:51,359
Honey, why must everything
be a competition?
279
00:13:52,828 --> 00:13:54,896
My point is it's impressive
280
00:13:54,930 --> 00:13:57,765
how Jill juggles the kids,
the garden club,
281
00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:01,636
her charity work,
and a successful marriage.
282
00:14:01,671 --> 00:14:03,271
- Hint, hint.
- Mm.
283
00:14:03,306 --> 00:14:06,140
I've found the key
is time management.
284
00:14:06,175 --> 00:14:08,176
Holly, I'd be happy
to give you some tips.
285
00:14:08,211 --> 00:14:12,414
- Jill's getting a divorce.
- What?
286
00:14:12,448 --> 00:14:16,351
Holly's a lesbian,
and she's having a baby!
287
00:14:16,385 --> 00:14:19,020
Oh, my God!
288
00:14:19,054 --> 00:14:22,324
You're getting a divorce?
289
00:14:22,358 --> 00:14:23,458
Are you kidding me?
290
00:14:23,492 --> 00:14:24,726
You just found out
that I'm gay,
291
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:25,727
and I'm having a baby.
292
00:14:25,761 --> 00:14:27,529
Where's my "Oh, my God"?
293
00:14:27,563 --> 00:14:31,766
Let's deal
with the shocking news first.
294
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,501
Jill?
295
00:14:33,536 --> 00:14:38,139
Mom, I'm not getting a divorce.
296
00:14:38,173 --> 00:14:40,041
I do not know
where she got that idea.
297
00:14:40,075 --> 00:14:41,376
What?
298
00:14:41,410 --> 00:14:44,145
Oh, wow, would you look
at that time.
299
00:14:44,179 --> 00:14:46,681
I'm going to be late
for the flower show.
300
00:14:46,716 --> 00:14:50,518
Catch you later, bye.
301
00:14:50,553 --> 00:14:52,820
Why in the world
would you make up a story
302
00:14:52,855 --> 00:14:54,088
like that about your sister?
303
00:14:54,123 --> 00:14:55,724
I'm not making anything up,
mom.
304
00:14:55,758 --> 00:14:57,792
Okay, I'm not a lesbian,
I'm not a liar,
305
00:14:57,826 --> 00:14:59,294
and I'm not having a baby.
306
00:14:59,328 --> 00:15:03,765
Holly, the gay bar called.
307
00:15:03,799 --> 00:15:06,534
You left your jacket
on the dance floor.
308
00:15:10,818 --> 00:15:14,718
[Upbeat music]
309
00:15:14,838 --> 00:15:15,922
Hi, Jill.
310
00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:19,775
Holly, the flower show
was amazing.
311
00:15:19,895 --> 00:15:21,705
I picked up
some incredible azaleas
312
00:15:21,740 --> 00:15:23,807
for Barry to plant
around the gazebo.
313
00:15:23,842 --> 00:15:25,343
What's with the act?
314
00:15:25,377 --> 00:15:26,710
I mean, who are you
trying to kid?
315
00:15:26,745 --> 00:15:29,847
Until mom got here,
you were getting a divorce.
316
00:15:29,881 --> 00:15:32,850
You're just afraid to tell her.
317
00:15:32,884 --> 00:15:35,486
And you're afraid
to tell her you're gay.
318
00:15:35,521 --> 00:15:38,489
- I'm not gay.
- And I'm not getting divorced.
319
00:15:38,524 --> 00:15:39,490
No, no, no,
you don't understand.
320
00:15:39,525 --> 00:15:40,991
- I love men.
- And I love Barry.
321
00:15:41,026 --> 00:15:42,326
Stop it.
322
00:15:42,361 --> 00:15:44,728
Eden and I are not a couple.
323
00:15:44,763 --> 00:15:47,432
Eden is my assistant, and she's
staying at my apartment
324
00:15:47,466 --> 00:15:49,033
until she has her baby.
325
00:15:49,068 --> 00:15:50,901
Why would you lie to me?
326
00:15:50,936 --> 00:15:52,937
Because it was the first time
you've ever looked at me
327
00:15:52,971 --> 00:15:55,106
- with admiration.
- That's not true.
328
00:15:55,140 --> 00:15:56,107
Yeah, it is.
329
00:15:56,141 --> 00:15:59,210
[Chuckles]
When it comes to mom,
330
00:15:59,244 --> 00:16:01,312
you are the princess
who could do no wrong,
331
00:16:01,346 --> 00:16:04,215
and I was...
Shrek.
332
00:16:04,249 --> 00:16:07,851
Well, you think it's been easy
for me trying to live up
333
00:16:07,886 --> 00:16:10,121
to mom's expectations?
334
00:16:10,155 --> 00:16:11,655
The more of a train wreck
you are,
335
00:16:11,690 --> 00:16:13,924
the more she dumped
her hopes on me.
336
00:16:13,959 --> 00:16:18,296
Can we get some alcohol
over here?
337
00:16:18,330 --> 00:16:19,964
Jill, you have
to tell her the truth.
338
00:16:19,998 --> 00:16:21,265
I can't.
339
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:22,333
You're gonna go up there,
340
00:16:22,367 --> 00:16:23,568
and you're gonna
tell her the truth,
341
00:16:23,602 --> 00:16:25,169
and I'm gonna be there for you.
342
00:16:25,204 --> 00:16:27,071
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
343
00:16:27,106 --> 00:16:28,406
You're not afraid of mom?
344
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,108
Please.
345
00:16:30,142 --> 00:16:33,177
I'm a grown woman,
partner in a law firm.
346
00:16:33,212 --> 00:16:36,046
You think I'm afraid
of my mommy?
347
00:16:36,081 --> 00:16:38,949
What's keeping the alcohol?
348
00:16:38,984 --> 00:16:41,952
[Upbeat music]
349
00:16:41,987 --> 00:16:43,154
350
00:16:44,856 --> 00:16:47,592
good afternoon, gents.
351
00:16:55,033 --> 00:16:56,601
I would love to stay and chat,
352
00:16:56,635 --> 00:17:01,005
but I have a date
with my new lady friend.
353
00:17:01,039 --> 00:17:03,474
Wait, wait, wait.
The one from last night?
354
00:17:03,509 --> 00:17:04,942
She thinks you're a woman.
355
00:17:04,976 --> 00:17:08,412
That she does.
356
00:17:08,447 --> 00:17:09,547
So if you'll excuse me,
357
00:17:09,581 --> 00:17:11,782
Hazel's off to meet
her new gal pal
358
00:17:11,816 --> 00:17:14,852
at the batting cages.
359
00:17:14,886 --> 00:17:17,821
[Husky voice]
Ta-ta, boys.
360
00:17:17,856 --> 00:17:19,423
[Door shuts]
361
00:17:19,458 --> 00:17:22,826
If that's not an anti-drug
message, I don't know what is.
362
00:17:22,861 --> 00:17:25,796
[Knocks on door]
I got it.
363
00:17:29,734 --> 00:17:31,802
Hey, Mrs. Franklin.
I didn't know you were in town.
364
00:17:31,836 --> 00:17:34,038
Hello, Phil.
Thank you.
365
00:17:34,072 --> 00:17:35,773
Have you seen my daughters?
366
00:17:35,807 --> 00:17:39,677
- Uh, no, I haven't. Sorry.
- Ugh.
367
00:17:39,711 --> 00:17:42,846
So how have you been?
368
00:17:44,516 --> 00:17:47,385
How have you been?
369
00:17:47,419 --> 00:17:50,621
I've been better.
370
00:17:52,157 --> 00:17:54,091
I don't think you have.
371
00:17:57,862 --> 00:18:00,565
Really?
372
00:18:00,599 --> 00:18:03,901
Oh, yeah.
Really.
373
00:18:03,935 --> 00:18:05,203
All right.
374
00:18:05,237 --> 00:18:06,571
- Okay.
- All right.
375
00:18:06,605 --> 00:18:08,606
- Okay, then.
- Okay.
376
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,709
- Mom, what's going on?
- Nothing.
377
00:18:11,743 --> 00:18:14,945
Aw, I wouldn't
call it nothing. [Laughs]
378
00:18:14,979 --> 00:18:16,146
I'm back, baby.
379
00:18:16,181 --> 00:18:19,450
[Laughs]
Thanks, miss Franklin.
380
00:18:21,220 --> 00:18:22,386
Mom?
381
00:18:22,421 --> 00:18:24,755
Mom, Jill has something
she'd like to tell you.
382
00:18:24,789 --> 00:18:26,123
Ugh.
383
00:18:26,157 --> 00:18:28,759
- What is it, Jill?
- [Clears throat]
384
00:18:28,793 --> 00:18:31,195
Mom...
385
00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:36,100
I bought a bonsai tree
at the flower show
386
00:18:36,134 --> 00:18:39,937
that I am going to sculpt
into your likeness.
387
00:18:39,971 --> 00:18:42,005
Oh, for Christ's sake.
She's getting a divorce.
388
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,542
No, she's not.
Why do you keep saying that?
389
00:18:44,576 --> 00:18:46,577
Why does she keep saying that?
390
00:18:46,612 --> 00:18:49,213
Because it's true.
391
00:18:49,248 --> 00:18:51,616
What?
392
00:18:51,650 --> 00:18:53,884
You and Barry
are really getting divorced?
393
00:18:53,918 --> 00:18:56,687
Yes.
394
00:18:56,722 --> 00:18:59,823
- What did you do?
- Me?
395
00:18:59,858 --> 00:19:01,191
All I know is my daughter
came here
396
00:19:01,226 --> 00:19:03,594
a happily married,
mixed doubles champion.
397
00:19:03,629 --> 00:19:05,129
What in the hell happened?
398
00:19:05,163 --> 00:19:06,530
Nothing happened.
399
00:19:06,565 --> 00:19:08,132
She's been miserable for years.
400
00:19:08,166 --> 00:19:09,900
She's just been to afraid
to tell you.
401
00:19:09,934 --> 00:19:14,772
Wh--I see you every day.
402
00:19:14,806 --> 00:19:17,475
How could you not tell me
you were so unhappy?
403
00:19:17,509 --> 00:19:19,243
Because you think I'm perfect,
404
00:19:19,278 --> 00:19:21,579
and I didn't wanna
disappoint you.
405
00:19:21,613 --> 00:19:24,047
Yeah, that's my job.
406
00:19:24,082 --> 00:19:25,480
Oh, I see.
407
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,062
So this is all my fault?
408
00:19:27,182 --> 00:19:28,543
When all's well fails,
409
00:19:28,663 --> 00:19:29,948
blame the mother!
410
00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:31,938
Did you ever see me blaming my mother
411
00:19:32,128 --> 00:19:33,317
for any of my problems?
412
00:19:33,544 --> 00:19:34,911
Well, you didn't go
to her funeral.
413
00:19:34,946 --> 00:19:38,481
That was different.
It was over money.
414
00:19:38,515 --> 00:19:39,983
I-I don't get it.
415
00:19:40,017 --> 00:19:42,118
The last time I was here,
you were too afraid
416
00:19:42,153 --> 00:19:43,719
to tell me your engagement
was over,
417
00:19:43,754 --> 00:19:46,456
and now, you're too afraid
to tell me your marriage is.
418
00:19:46,490 --> 00:19:48,724
Well, starting to see
a pattern here, mom?
419
00:19:48,759 --> 00:19:51,161
Yeah, you two stink
at relationships.
420
00:19:53,697 --> 00:19:56,699
And maybe...
421
00:19:56,733 --> 00:20:00,703
I'm not so easy to talk to.
422
00:20:00,737 --> 00:20:02,805
What do you say I take
my daughters to dinner
423
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:05,241
and do a little listening?
424
00:20:05,276 --> 00:20:09,012
Mm, I'd like that.
[Sighs]
425
00:20:09,046 --> 00:20:12,082
Me too.
426
00:20:12,116 --> 00:20:14,217
And, mom,
you'll be happy to know
427
00:20:14,251 --> 00:20:16,186
I have an incredible
new boyfriend.
428
00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:17,620
Good for you, honey.
429
00:20:17,654 --> 00:20:21,057
You deserve to be happy.
430
00:20:21,092 --> 00:20:24,579
If you really wanna keep him,
lose the eye shadow.
431
00:20:24,699 --> 00:20:30,656
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
432
00:20:30,706 --> 00:20:35,256
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