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1
00:00:00,172 --> 00:00:04,751
Sync and corrected by Rafael UPD
www.Addic7ed.Com/
2
00:00:04,752 --> 00:00:06,055
Hey, Haskell.
3
00:00:06,090 --> 00:00:07,403
What are you up to?
4
00:00:07,438 --> 00:00:09,572
I'm taking online
traffic school.
5
00:00:09,606 --> 00:00:11,539
Oh, I didn't even know
you had a car.
6
00:00:11,574 --> 00:00:14,321
I don't even drive.
7
00:00:14,355 --> 00:00:16,059
I'm taking it
for Ida Rothstein,
8
00:00:16,093 --> 00:00:19,759
a lead-footed, 80-year-old,
legally blind grandmother.
9
00:00:19,794 --> 00:00:22,060
Just as a favor?
That doesn't sound right.
10
00:00:22,094 --> 00:00:26,227
I agree. That's why
I'm charging her 200 bucks.
11
00:00:26,261 --> 00:00:27,997
Turns out, there are
tons of lousy drivers
12
00:00:28,031 --> 00:00:30,170
who are just too lazy
to take their own test.
13
00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:32,106
But the goal
of Lutz traffic academy
14
00:00:32,141 --> 00:00:36,080
is to put these menaces
back on the road.
15
00:00:36,115 --> 00:00:37,448
Hey, man, do you know
16
00:00:37,482 --> 00:00:38,583
what kind of business
he's into?
17
00:00:38,617 --> 00:00:40,184
Yeah,
Lutz traffic academy.
18
00:00:40,218 --> 00:00:44,289
Their motto is
"no eyesight, no problem."
19
00:00:44,324 --> 00:00:46,493
I was gonna put it
on billboards, but really...
20
00:00:46,527 --> 00:00:48,864
Who would see them?
21
00:00:48,899 --> 00:00:50,833
Hey.
Good morning, guys.
22
00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:52,634
Oh hey, Holly.
You excited about tonight?
23
00:00:52,669 --> 00:00:54,335
Are you kidding?
I can't wait.
24
00:00:54,369 --> 00:00:56,204
Yeah? Yeah?
Renauro's,
25
00:00:56,238 --> 00:00:57,840
my favorite restaurant,
is closing,
26
00:00:57,875 --> 00:00:59,977
and Holly's coming with me
for one final meal.
27
00:01:00,011 --> 00:01:01,979
Yeah, it's where my ex-wife
and I celebrated birthdays,
28
00:01:02,013 --> 00:01:05,016
anniversaries...
ah, so many memories.
29
00:01:05,050 --> 00:01:07,118
[Chuckles]
Oh, spoiler alert.
30
00:01:07,152 --> 00:01:08,485
I'm bringing
my scrapbook.
31
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:11,821
- Ooh!
- [Laughs]
32
00:01:11,855 --> 00:01:13,155
Spoiler alert.
33
00:01:13,190 --> 00:01:16,393
Your night's gonna suck!
34
00:01:16,427 --> 00:01:19,395
Not as bad as yours is 'cause
you're the one who's going.
35
00:01:19,429 --> 00:01:21,296
- What?
- Yeah, I gotta work late.
36
00:01:21,330 --> 00:01:22,730
A big case came up,
so you gotta go.
37
00:01:22,764 --> 00:01:24,532
Oh, no.
Forget about it.
38
00:01:24,566 --> 00:01:27,738
Listen, Phil, that place is
an emotional minefield for him.
39
00:01:27,772 --> 00:01:29,473
Forget it.
I'm not going!
40
00:01:29,507 --> 00:01:31,809
Phil, I know deep inside
41
00:01:31,844 --> 00:01:34,812
there's a better Phil.
42
00:01:39,718 --> 00:01:42,152
How about the Phil who owes me
two months' rent?
43
00:01:42,187 --> 00:01:43,888
How does he feel
about it?
44
00:01:43,922 --> 00:01:46,890
Oh, that.
Aw.
45
00:01:46,924 --> 00:01:48,558
Listen, baby...
46
00:01:48,593 --> 00:01:51,928
oh, boy. You really don't
have that money, do you?
47
00:01:51,963 --> 00:01:53,763
Well, you know how much
I'm paying in alimony.
48
00:01:53,798 --> 00:01:55,365
It's killing me.
It's like I'm...
49
00:01:55,399 --> 00:01:57,700
I'm paying for a car
I'm not driving anymore.
50
00:01:57,734 --> 00:01:59,235
All right, Phil.
Listen, you do this for me,
51
00:01:59,269 --> 00:02:00,703
and I'll knock off
both months.
52
00:02:00,737 --> 00:02:04,072
I'm going to Renauro's!
53
00:02:04,106 --> 00:02:05,273
[Upbeat music]
54
00:02:05,308 --> 00:02:07,675
♪ Dee do Dee do ♪
55
00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,945
♪ Dee do Dee do ♪
56
00:02:09,980 --> 00:02:12,181
♪ do do do Dee ♪
57
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,752
Holly, your brief
regarding declaration
58
00:02:14,786 --> 00:02:16,888
of income and expenses
is a thing of beauty.
59
00:02:16,922 --> 00:02:18,089
Oh,
thank you.
60
00:02:18,123 --> 00:02:19,891
I'm particularly
proud of
61
00:02:19,926 --> 00:02:22,928
section two, subparagraph three,
where I specifically requested
62
00:02:22,963 --> 00:02:26,032
both corporate
and personal assets.
63
00:02:26,066 --> 00:02:27,800
Boo-ya!
64
00:02:27,835 --> 00:02:30,303
[Phone rings]
Excuse me.
65
00:02:30,337 --> 00:02:33,240
I've got to take this
in my office.
66
00:02:33,274 --> 00:02:37,545
Wow, is he into you.
67
00:02:37,579 --> 00:02:39,280
Who, Paul?
68
00:02:39,314 --> 00:02:41,282
I thought he was going to take
you right here on your desk.
69
00:02:41,316 --> 00:02:44,985
[Chuckles] Eden, we were
just discussing legal documents.
70
00:02:45,020 --> 00:02:46,887
Yeah, and in a porno,
the pool guy
71
00:02:46,921 --> 00:02:50,257
is just there to
clean out the filter.
72
00:02:50,291 --> 00:02:52,326
Come on, look at the way
he pays you compliments
73
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,495
and checks you out
when you're not looking.
74
00:02:54,529 --> 00:02:56,798
Get out.
75
00:02:56,832 --> 00:02:58,933
He does?
76
00:02:58,968 --> 00:03:00,402
Big time.
77
00:03:00,436 --> 00:03:02,937
What? Don't you
find him attractive?
78
00:03:02,972 --> 00:03:05,740
Well, if you like
the tall, intelligent type
79
00:03:05,774 --> 00:03:07,108
with piercing
blue eyes
80
00:03:07,142 --> 00:03:10,278
and shoulders you can hang
your dreams on.
81
00:03:10,312 --> 00:03:13,015
Then what are you waiting for?
It's not your first rodeo.
82
00:03:13,049 --> 00:03:15,517
Go jump that bronco!
83
00:03:15,551 --> 00:03:18,186
Eden, this isn't
a singles bar.
84
00:03:18,220 --> 00:03:20,922
It's a law firm.
Besides, if you're wrong,
85
00:03:20,956 --> 00:03:23,424
I could end up like
Christmas-party Brenda.
86
00:03:23,458 --> 00:03:25,593
Senior partner track
one minute,
87
00:03:25,627 --> 00:03:29,897
serving drinks at the track
the next.
88
00:03:33,069 --> 00:03:35,370
- This is nice, huh?
- Mm.
89
00:03:35,404 --> 00:03:37,839
- Cozy, comfortable.
- Yeah, a little too cozy.
90
00:03:37,874 --> 00:03:41,643
Either scooch over
or put a ring on it, man.
91
00:03:41,677 --> 00:03:43,345
Why couldn't we sit
at a bigger table?
92
00:03:43,379 --> 00:03:45,346
I don't know.
When Stuart's in the house,
93
00:03:45,381 --> 00:03:47,015
this is
where he sits.
94
00:03:47,049 --> 00:03:49,050
I'm a God here.
95
00:03:49,084 --> 00:03:52,553
More bread,
please?
96
00:03:52,587 --> 00:03:55,055
Must be new.
Mm.
97
00:03:55,090 --> 00:03:56,957
Aw, Phil, you gotta taste
this olive oil.
98
00:03:56,992 --> 00:03:58,625
They import it
from Umbria.
99
00:03:58,660 --> 00:04:01,695
- I've had bread before, Stuart.
- Oh, not like this.
100
00:04:01,729 --> 00:04:04,497
If you mean from another man's
hands, then no, I haven't.
101
00:04:04,532 --> 00:04:05,498
Oh, stop.
102
00:04:05,532 --> 00:04:08,534
Phil?
103
00:04:11,105 --> 00:04:12,972
Kerry.
104
00:04:13,007 --> 00:04:14,740
I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to interrupt
105
00:04:14,775 --> 00:04:16,209
whatever you've got
going on here.
106
00:04:16,243 --> 00:04:18,044
[Chuckles]
Uh, yeah...
107
00:04:18,078 --> 00:04:21,181
Th-th-there's nothing
going on here.
108
00:04:21,215 --> 00:04:22,983
No, we just
live together.
109
00:04:23,017 --> 00:04:25,820
Hi, I'm Stuart.
I'm... I'm Phil's new roomie.
110
00:04:25,854 --> 00:04:27,755
Oh, I'm Kerry.
I'm Phil's old roomie,
111
00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:29,256
also known
as his ex-wife.
112
00:04:29,291 --> 00:04:32,593
Hey, uh, Kerry,
what are you doing here?
113
00:04:32,627 --> 00:04:33,994
I'm just taking
a friend to dinner.
114
00:04:34,028 --> 00:04:35,863
In fact, I should probably
get back to her.
115
00:04:35,897 --> 00:04:38,098
Nice seeing you, Phil.
Yeah, see you around.
116
00:04:38,132 --> 00:04:41,268
- Yeah. [Laughs nervously]
- Okay.
117
00:04:41,303 --> 00:04:42,736
[Sighs]
Wow.
118
00:04:42,771 --> 00:04:45,072
- Mm.
- She is beautiful!
119
00:04:45,106 --> 00:04:48,375
[Scoffs] Good luck
following that.
120
00:04:48,409 --> 00:04:49,843
You know, Phil,
I'm proud of you.
121
00:04:49,877 --> 00:04:51,578
You were very civil,
considering how upset
122
00:04:51,612 --> 00:04:52,946
you've been about all
the alimony you're paying.
123
00:04:52,981 --> 00:04:54,715
Oh, you know,
what you gonna do?
124
00:04:54,749 --> 00:04:56,416
There's a time in life
where you just...
125
00:04:56,451 --> 00:05:00,587
you just gotta let it go.
[Cork pops]
126
00:05:00,621 --> 00:05:03,122
Is she drinking
champagne?
127
00:05:03,157 --> 00:05:05,892
I mean, I'm behind on rent
because of alimony,
128
00:05:05,926 --> 00:05:07,961
and she's drinking
champagne?
129
00:05:07,995 --> 00:05:10,964
Phil, don't let it
bother you.
130
00:05:10,998 --> 00:05:12,032
Know what?
You're right.
131
00:05:12,066 --> 00:05:15,101
You're absolutely right.
132
00:05:15,135 --> 00:05:18,471
That lobster better not be going
where I think it's going.
133
00:05:18,506 --> 00:05:20,140
Oh, hell no!
Where are you going?
134
00:05:20,174 --> 00:05:22,775
Hell no!
I'm going to visit my money.
135
00:05:22,810 --> 00:05:24,610
Phil!
Everything okay?
136
00:05:24,645 --> 00:05:26,145
Oh, yeah, everything's fine.
I was just admiring
137
00:05:26,179 --> 00:05:27,779
your expensive taste.
138
00:05:27,814 --> 00:05:30,983
Look at that. You got lobster,
you got some champagne,
139
00:05:31,017 --> 00:05:32,551
and you got caviar!
[Chuckles]
140
00:05:32,585 --> 00:05:33,752
You know, I was looking
at the menu earlier,
141
00:05:33,787 --> 00:05:35,154
and I was wondering,
142
00:05:35,188 --> 00:05:36,622
"who can afford to pay
for caviar?"
143
00:05:36,657 --> 00:05:39,159
And now I know.
Me!
144
00:05:39,193 --> 00:05:41,395
Phil, not the time,
not the place.
145
00:05:41,429 --> 00:05:43,463
You wanna know what I had
for dinner last night?
146
00:05:43,498 --> 00:05:45,899
I had
the divorced guy's lobster.
147
00:05:45,934 --> 00:05:47,501
Yeah.
Fish sticks.
148
00:05:47,535 --> 00:05:49,670
- Phil, come back to the table.
- Oh, I'm coming.
149
00:05:49,704 --> 00:05:51,472
But I'm not
coming alone.
150
00:05:51,506 --> 00:05:54,074
This guy's coming with me.
Come on, red.
151
00:05:54,109 --> 00:05:55,809
What's going on here?
152
00:05:55,844 --> 00:05:59,013
Oh, I'm just looking
for a little lobster justice.
153
00:05:59,047 --> 00:06:00,247
Sir, you're making a scene.
I'm going to have to
154
00:06:00,282 --> 00:06:01,682
- ask you to leave.
- Oh, Salvatore.
155
00:06:01,717 --> 00:06:03,484
Don't worry.
I can vouch for him.
156
00:06:03,518 --> 00:06:06,453
You get out too.
157
00:06:06,488 --> 00:06:08,488
- Okay.
- No, no.
158
00:06:17,522 --> 00:06:20,492
So are you feeling
what I'm feeling?
159
00:06:20,526 --> 00:06:22,527
That depends.
What are you feeling?
160
00:06:22,561 --> 00:06:24,429
That this guy is
clearly trying to run cash
161
00:06:24,463 --> 00:06:26,531
through a dummy corporation, and
we've got him dead to rights.
162
00:06:26,565 --> 00:06:29,200
That is exactly
what I was feeling!
163
00:06:29,234 --> 00:06:32,036
And you know what I'm thinking
we should do next?
164
00:06:32,071 --> 00:06:35,473
I have some ideas,
but I'd rather hear yours first.
165
00:06:35,508 --> 00:06:37,275
Well, I say we move
to toss the prenup
166
00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:38,843
and go after his house
in Aspen.
167
00:06:38,877 --> 00:06:41,546
It's like you're reading
my mind.
168
00:06:41,580 --> 00:06:43,714
I have a copy of the prenup
in my briefcase.
169
00:06:43,749 --> 00:06:46,851
[Mouthing]
170
00:06:46,886 --> 00:06:49,553
- Y-you okay?
- Ah.
171
00:06:49,588 --> 00:06:51,289
It's a...
it's a weird face cramp.
172
00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:53,859
It happens when
I work late.
173
00:06:53,893 --> 00:06:56,862
It's...
it's actually
174
00:06:56,897 --> 00:06:59,665
'cause you're sitting
in those uncomfortable chairs.
175
00:06:59,699 --> 00:07:02,201
You guys should just move on
over to the couch.
176
00:07:02,235 --> 00:07:05,572
Oh, also known
as a love seat.
177
00:07:05,606 --> 00:07:08,341
Well, you know what?
We've been working pretty hard.
178
00:07:08,376 --> 00:07:09,710
What do you say we pick
this up here tomorrow night?
179
00:07:09,744 --> 00:07:10,878
- Okay.
- Here?
180
00:07:10,912 --> 00:07:12,513
- Yeah.
- Oh, that's, uh...
181
00:07:12,547 --> 00:07:13,981
That's actually...
that's not gonna work.
182
00:07:14,015 --> 00:07:15,516
The building
is closed.
183
00:07:15,550 --> 00:07:16,917
You know what, though?
Oh, my...
184
00:07:16,952 --> 00:07:18,686
you should just work
at Holly's!
185
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,254
Why is
the building closed?
186
00:07:20,288 --> 00:07:21,655
- Why?
- Yeah.
187
00:07:21,689 --> 00:07:23,056
It's because
they're, uh,
188
00:07:23,091 --> 00:07:26,493
cleaning the...
Carpets.
189
00:07:26,527 --> 00:07:28,328
Maintenance sent
a memo.
190
00:07:28,362 --> 00:07:29,596
I didn't get
a maintenance memo.
191
00:07:29,630 --> 00:07:30,897
Me neither.
192
00:07:30,932 --> 00:07:32,999
That's because
I'm the only one
193
00:07:33,033 --> 00:07:34,601
who actually
sees the memos
194
00:07:34,635 --> 00:07:38,604
because I am
the floor Captain.
195
00:07:38,639 --> 00:07:40,606
Anyway, um,
Holly's place is great.
196
00:07:40,641 --> 00:07:44,343
It's close, it's cozy,
it's got a bedroom.
197
00:07:44,377 --> 00:07:47,713
It's a one-bedroom.
198
00:07:47,747 --> 00:07:49,514
Look, Paul, we don't
have to go to my pl...
199
00:07:49,549 --> 00:07:51,016
- sounds good to me.
- Oh, well, great.
200
00:07:51,050 --> 00:07:52,084
- Yeah, it's a date.
- All right!
201
00:07:52,118 --> 00:07:53,618
- All right.
- See you then.
202
00:07:53,653 --> 00:07:56,188
- See ya.
- Buh-bye.
203
00:07:56,222 --> 00:07:58,924
"Holly's place has a bedroom"?
That was subtle.
204
00:07:58,958 --> 00:08:00,792
Oh, you can't afford
to be subtle.
205
00:08:00,827 --> 00:08:03,262
The last guy in your bedroom
was installing your cable.
206
00:08:03,296 --> 00:08:04,563
And unlike
in the porno,
207
00:08:04,597 --> 00:08:06,598
he was actually
installing your cable.
208
00:08:11,637 --> 00:08:13,071
Stuart,
I'm sorry.
209
00:08:13,106 --> 00:08:15,240
I just got a little
carried away tonight.
210
00:08:15,275 --> 00:08:16,709
It's okay, Phil.
I don't blame you.
211
00:08:16,743 --> 00:08:18,811
- Really?
- No, I blame you entirely!
212
00:08:18,845 --> 00:08:23,583
[Knock at door]
213
00:08:23,617 --> 00:08:25,151
Kerry!
214
00:08:25,185 --> 00:08:26,886
Who the hell do you
think you are,
215
00:08:26,921 --> 00:08:28,588
embarrassing me
in public?
216
00:08:28,622 --> 00:08:30,456
If you've got a problem
with the alimony,
217
00:08:30,490 --> 00:08:31,791
talk to your lawyer.
Otherwise,
218
00:08:31,825 --> 00:08:34,227
what I do with my money
is my business.
219
00:08:34,261 --> 00:08:36,496
Don't you ever ambush me
like that again!
220
00:08:36,530 --> 00:08:39,766
You have every right
to be angry with me.
221
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,168
But I forget how hot
you look when you are.
222
00:08:42,202 --> 00:08:45,738
Don't you try
to change the subject!
223
00:08:45,773 --> 00:08:46,839
I'm not
trying to change the subject.
224
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:48,574
Yes, you are!
225
00:08:48,609 --> 00:08:50,677
You always try to use sex
to weasel out of arguments.
226
00:08:50,711 --> 00:08:53,346
But it is not gonna work
this time.
227
00:08:53,380 --> 00:08:55,682
You sure?
228
00:08:55,717 --> 00:08:59,953
No.
229
00:08:59,988 --> 00:09:01,922
Mm.
[Grunts]
230
00:09:01,956 --> 00:09:03,524
[Laughter]
231
00:09:03,558 --> 00:09:05,158
- W-w-wait, Phil,
I gotta tell you something.
232
00:09:05,193 --> 00:09:08,195
Go on, baby, tell me
what you gotta tell me!
233
00:09:12,067 --> 00:09:14,434
You're getting married?
Tomorrow.
234
00:09:14,469 --> 00:09:17,704
What?
Tomorrow?
235
00:09:17,738 --> 00:09:20,373
Oh, okay.
Well...
236
00:09:20,408 --> 00:09:21,808
Who's the guy
you're marrying?
237
00:09:21,843 --> 00:09:24,311
His name is
Dr. Theodore Edwards.
238
00:09:24,345 --> 00:09:28,115
Dr. Ted?
The TV shrink?
239
00:09:28,149 --> 00:09:29,883
Marital therapist.
240
00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:31,952
We're getting married
in his park avenue apartment
241
00:09:31,986 --> 00:09:33,020
tomorrow night.
242
00:09:33,054 --> 00:09:35,823
Okay,
well...
243
00:09:35,857 --> 00:09:37,725
I guess congratulations
is in order.
244
00:09:37,759 --> 00:09:41,195
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
245
00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:44,899
- I gotta go.
- Okay. Yeah.
246
00:09:44,934 --> 00:09:48,403
Hey, Kerry!
247
00:09:48,437 --> 00:09:49,804
Have a nice life.
248
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:52,841
- Yeah, you too.
- Thank you.
249
00:09:55,277 --> 00:09:56,577
[Door closes]
250
00:09:56,611 --> 00:09:59,080
What's going on?
Was that Kerry?
251
00:09:59,114 --> 00:10:01,649
Yeah. She just told me
she's getting married tomorrow.
252
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:02,884
- Wow.
- Yeah.
253
00:10:02,918 --> 00:10:04,152
- Are you all right?
- Mm.
254
00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:07,054
Is he all right?
Is he all right?
255
00:10:07,089 --> 00:10:08,723
He's more than
all right!
256
00:10:08,757 --> 00:10:10,224
He's the luckiest
son of a bitch
257
00:10:10,259 --> 00:10:14,495
in the apartment!
258
00:10:14,529 --> 00:10:15,763
What are you
talking about?
259
00:10:15,797 --> 00:10:17,898
Don't you get it,
you rube?
260
00:10:17,933 --> 00:10:21,435
When your ex-wife marries,
you stop paying alimony.
261
00:10:21,470 --> 00:10:22,904
- Mm-hmm.
He's right.
262
00:10:22,938 --> 00:10:27,409
The minute she says "I do,"
you don't.
263
00:10:27,444 --> 00:10:28,911
Okay, let me
get this straight.
264
00:10:28,945 --> 00:10:32,381
I don't have to
pay no more?
265
00:10:32,416 --> 00:10:34,417
I don't gotta pay
no more?
266
00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:39,621
♪ I don't got to
pay no more ♪
267
00:10:39,656 --> 00:10:41,790
♪ I don't
got to pay no more ♪
268
00:10:41,824 --> 00:10:43,625
♪ I don't got to
pay no more ♪
269
00:10:43,659 --> 00:10:46,594
♪ I don't
got to pay no more ♪
270
00:10:46,628 --> 00:10:49,863
I thought the no alimony dance
was an urban legend.
271
00:10:49,898 --> 00:10:52,899
But, my God, it's real!
272
00:10:52,933 --> 00:10:55,234
Pow!
273
00:10:55,268 --> 00:10:57,069
♪ I don't got to
pay no more ♪
274
00:10:57,103 --> 00:10:58,804
♪ I don't
got to pay no more ♪
275
00:10:58,838 --> 00:11:00,339
♪ I don't got to
pay no more ♪
276
00:11:05,691 --> 00:11:07,359
What's with
the extra laptop?
277
00:11:07,393 --> 00:11:09,361
My traffic academy
has expanded!
278
00:11:09,395 --> 00:11:11,063
Word is out!
279
00:11:11,097 --> 00:11:16,335
Irresponsible drivers know
they have a friend in Lutz.
280
00:11:16,369 --> 00:11:17,903
Oh, hey, guys.
Do you have, um,
281
00:11:17,937 --> 00:11:19,838
a bottle of wine that
may or may not get opened
282
00:11:19,872 --> 00:11:21,874
and some candles that may
or may not get lit?
283
00:11:21,908 --> 00:11:23,975
You have a date?
284
00:11:24,010 --> 00:11:27,312
I may or may not.
285
00:11:27,347 --> 00:11:30,248
Well, that's one "may"
closer than last weekend.
286
00:11:30,283 --> 00:11:33,018
[Chuckles]
287
00:11:33,052 --> 00:11:35,086
Really, Haskell?
288
00:11:35,121 --> 00:11:36,421
You wanna go one-on-one
289
00:11:36,456 --> 00:11:41,025
over who has
the worst social life?
290
00:11:41,060 --> 00:11:42,927
No, ma'am.
291
00:11:42,962 --> 00:11:44,529
Here you go.
292
00:11:44,563 --> 00:11:46,731
So how was the last night
at Renauro's?
293
00:11:46,766 --> 00:11:48,199
Uh, not quite
as expected.
294
00:11:48,234 --> 00:11:49,734
Phil ran
into his ex-wife,
295
00:11:49,769 --> 00:11:51,603
found out she's getting
married tomorrow.
296
00:11:51,637 --> 00:11:54,506
Kerry? Oh, my God.
How is he taking it?
297
00:11:54,540 --> 00:11:56,508
♪ I don't got to
pay no more ♪
298
00:11:56,543 --> 00:11:58,343
♪ I don't
got to pay no more ♪
299
00:11:58,378 --> 00:12:00,512
♪ I don't got to
pay no more ♪
300
00:12:00,547 --> 00:12:03,048
♪ pay no more ♪
301
00:12:03,082 --> 00:12:05,217
He's strong.
He'll pull through.
302
00:12:07,887 --> 00:12:10,122
All: ♪ you don't got to pay
no more, yeah ♪
303
00:12:10,156 --> 00:12:12,624
♪ you don't got to pay no more,
uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
304
00:12:12,658 --> 00:12:14,293
♪ you don't got to pay no more,
that's right ♪
305
00:12:14,327 --> 00:12:16,361
♪ you don't got to pay
no more, yeah ♪
306
00:12:16,395 --> 00:12:18,530
[Laughter]
307
00:12:18,565 --> 00:12:20,298
I'm making that
my ringtone.
308
00:12:20,333 --> 00:12:22,634
- [Chuckles]
- [British accent] Uh, Phillip.
309
00:12:22,668 --> 00:12:24,102
I seem to have spooned
my way
310
00:12:24,137 --> 00:12:26,739
through another tin of caviar.
Hit me.
311
00:12:26,773 --> 00:12:30,809
Uh, excuse me.
More beluga for my buddy.
312
00:12:30,844 --> 00:12:32,277
And the larger spoons,
please.
313
00:12:32,311 --> 00:12:35,280
Uh, this little thing
is making my arm tired.
314
00:12:35,314 --> 00:12:37,883
You know, I actually
don't mind paying alimony.
315
00:12:37,917 --> 00:12:39,618
I mean, it's only fair
that we share equally
316
00:12:39,652 --> 00:12:41,653
in the communal assets that were
accrued during the marriage.
317
00:12:41,688 --> 00:12:45,290
You hear that? That's
the sound of a party dying.
318
00:12:45,325 --> 00:12:47,092
- [Laughs]
- All right, so, Phil...
319
00:12:47,126 --> 00:12:49,160
What are you gonna do with all
the extra money, huh? Invest it?
320
00:12:49,195 --> 00:12:51,396
Oh, absolutely. I'm gonna
invest it in that motorcycle!
321
00:12:51,430 --> 00:12:53,431
Boop! Bought it.
[Laughter]
322
00:12:53,466 --> 00:12:54,766
You wanna know why?
'Cause...
323
00:12:54,801 --> 00:12:58,403
♪ I don't got to p... ♪
324
00:12:58,437 --> 00:13:01,673
That's Dr. Ted,
the guy Kerry's marrying.
325
00:13:01,707 --> 00:13:03,675
- The TV shrink?
- Yep.
326
00:13:03,709 --> 00:13:05,510
He's the reason
I don't gotta pay no more.
327
00:13:05,544 --> 00:13:08,113
You know what I'ma do?
I'm gonna go buy him a drink.
328
00:13:08,147 --> 00:13:09,848
Excuse me.
329
00:13:09,882 --> 00:13:11,983
Are you Dr. Ted,
the TV shrink?
330
00:13:12,017 --> 00:13:13,618
- Marital therapist.
- [Chuckles]
331
00:13:13,652 --> 00:13:16,487
- Can I help you?
- You already have. [Chuckles]
332
00:13:16,522 --> 00:13:19,658
Let me guess. You, uh,
you've seen my show,
333
00:13:19,692 --> 00:13:20,959
I changed your life.
334
00:13:20,993 --> 00:13:23,529
You have no idea!
335
00:13:23,563 --> 00:13:26,331
I love you!
Let me introduce myself to you.
336
00:13:26,366 --> 00:13:28,600
I just...
Wanna...Talk...
337
00:13:28,634 --> 00:13:30,635
- oh, I-I know.
It can be overwhelming
338
00:13:30,670 --> 00:13:33,005
meeting a celebrity,
but I'm no different from you.
339
00:13:33,039 --> 00:13:37,775
[Chuckles] Just a little bit
more famous.
340
00:13:37,810 --> 00:13:40,045
All right, here you go.
341
00:13:40,079 --> 00:13:41,613
- Oh, no, you don't have to...
- No, no, it's okay.
342
00:13:41,647 --> 00:13:43,548
Okay.
343
00:13:43,582 --> 00:13:46,651
Best of luck
to you.
344
00:13:53,188 --> 00:13:54,521
Hurry up, Holly!
345
00:13:54,556 --> 00:13:56,523
Paul's gonna be here
any second!
346
00:13:56,558 --> 00:13:58,826
I had such a hard time trying
to figure out what to wear,
347
00:13:58,860 --> 00:14:00,294
but I think
I picked out something
348
00:14:00,328 --> 00:14:02,196
that works both ways,
okay?
349
00:14:02,230 --> 00:14:03,364
Co-worker.
350
00:14:03,398 --> 00:14:05,332
Date.
351
00:14:05,367 --> 00:14:06,867
Co-worker.
352
00:14:06,902 --> 00:14:08,903
Date.
353
00:14:11,406 --> 00:14:13,741
I think I just
got the green light.
354
00:14:16,644 --> 00:14:18,111
All right.
This is serious, though.
355
00:14:18,146 --> 00:14:19,880
I mean, there's a lot
at stake here.
356
00:14:19,914 --> 00:14:22,815
I-I work with this guy.
He's impossible to read.
357
00:14:22,849 --> 00:14:25,617
How will I even know
if he's gonna make a move?
358
00:14:25,652 --> 00:14:26,985
Holly,
it's very easy, okay?
359
00:14:27,019 --> 00:14:28,553
You guys are gonna
start working,
360
00:14:28,587 --> 00:14:31,055
and suddenly, you know,
the mood will just change, okay?
361
00:14:31,090 --> 00:14:34,625
He'll say it's warm, probably
wanna take off his jacket,
362
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,695
maybe make a move
to the couch.
363
00:14:36,729 --> 00:14:38,897
Next thing
you know, bing bang boom.
364
00:14:38,932 --> 00:14:41,333
And if you're lucky,
boom again.
365
00:14:41,367 --> 00:14:42,901
[Doorbell rings]
366
00:14:42,936 --> 00:14:44,236
You're on.
367
00:14:44,270 --> 00:14:46,405
I can do this.
You can go.
368
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,541
[Clears throat]
No, I can't. Stay.
369
00:14:48,576 --> 00:14:51,144
But how else will I know?
Go.
370
00:14:51,179 --> 00:14:54,014
But what if it's all in my head?
Stay.
371
00:14:54,048 --> 00:14:55,815
Hi, Holly.
372
00:14:55,850 --> 00:14:57,250
Hi, Paul.
Come on in.
373
00:14:57,284 --> 00:14:58,652
Thanks.
374
00:14:58,686 --> 00:15:01,688
Go.
375
00:15:04,291 --> 00:15:06,658
On my way to pick up
my new bike!
376
00:15:06,693 --> 00:15:09,160
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What about Kerry?
377
00:15:09,195 --> 00:15:11,529
Aren't you gonna tell her that
her fiancé is cheating on her?
378
00:15:11,563 --> 00:15:13,164
Well, she'll find out
eventually.
379
00:15:13,198 --> 00:15:15,365
And when she does,
who better to talk to her
380
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,935
about her lying, cheating
husband than Dr. Ted,
381
00:15:17,969 --> 00:15:19,770
marital therapist?
382
00:15:19,804 --> 00:15:22,440
So you're gonna
let her marry this jerk
383
00:15:22,474 --> 00:15:24,608
just so you can stop
paying alimony?
384
00:15:24,643 --> 00:15:28,346
All I heard was, "blah blah
blah, stop paying alimony."
385
00:15:28,380 --> 00:15:30,114
Come on, Phil.
Come on.
386
00:15:30,148 --> 00:15:32,616
Don't you realize every time
you start that motorcycle,
387
00:15:32,650 --> 00:15:35,953
all you're gonna be thinking is,
"I put my selfish pleasure
388
00:15:35,987 --> 00:15:37,522
in front
of Kerry's happiness"?
389
00:15:37,556 --> 00:15:39,957
You know,
that had occurred to me,
390
00:15:39,992 --> 00:15:44,796
but then I put on
this nice leather jacket.
391
00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:46,031
Check me out.
392
00:15:46,065 --> 00:15:48,800
I'm the black fonz!
393
00:15:51,137 --> 00:15:52,604
Phil.
394
00:15:52,639 --> 00:15:54,773
[Sighs]
Damn it!
395
00:15:54,807 --> 00:15:57,609
No!
396
00:15:57,643 --> 00:15:58,910
You can't!
397
00:15:58,944 --> 00:16:01,045
Wow. Haskell,
I didn't think
398
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:05,983
you'd be able to move that fast
if you were on fire!
399
00:16:06,018 --> 00:16:07,284
You can't do this!
400
00:16:07,319 --> 00:16:09,286
You're not
the only one it affects.
401
00:16:09,321 --> 00:16:10,754
We all had dreams
402
00:16:10,789 --> 00:16:13,925
of what we would do
with your money.
403
00:16:13,959 --> 00:16:16,594
I was gonna buy a beach hut
in Honduras,
404
00:16:16,628 --> 00:16:19,830
marry a local woman
named Esperanza,
405
00:16:19,865 --> 00:16:23,768
and together we would raise
our little boy, Titino,
406
00:16:23,802 --> 00:16:27,438
who would make money
dancing for the tourists.
407
00:16:27,473 --> 00:16:30,475
Do you have a fever?
408
00:16:32,779 --> 00:16:35,180
So Mr. Radnitz
only incorporated to keep
409
00:16:35,215 --> 00:16:36,782
the marital assets
away from his wife?
410
00:16:36,816 --> 00:16:39,350
Yep. Kept them tucked away
in a small bank account
411
00:16:39,385 --> 00:16:41,919
in the Cayman Islands
under his mistress' name.
412
00:16:41,954 --> 00:16:43,454
[Chuckles]
413
00:16:43,488 --> 00:16:44,789
Holly, I'm glad
we're working together.
414
00:16:44,823 --> 00:16:47,024
We make a good team.
How good?
415
00:16:47,058 --> 00:16:49,192
Good enough to deserve
a little break.
416
00:16:49,227 --> 00:16:50,627
You know, my...
my back is acting up.
417
00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:52,028
Do you mind if we move
to the couch?
418
00:16:52,062 --> 00:16:55,198
I think that
could be arranged.
419
00:16:55,232 --> 00:16:56,699
Is it just me,
or is it a little warm in here?
420
00:16:56,734 --> 00:16:59,869
Oh,
it's warm.
421
00:16:59,904 --> 00:17:00,870
Uh, I'm gonna take
my jacket off.
422
00:17:00,905 --> 00:17:03,906
Oh,
me too.
423
00:17:06,210 --> 00:17:07,810
[Sighs]
424
00:17:07,845 --> 00:17:09,145
You know what might make us
feel more comfortable
425
00:17:09,179 --> 00:17:11,113
is if I turn off
a light.
426
00:17:11,147 --> 00:17:12,548
Well, that's a good idea.
It's a little bright in here.
427
00:17:12,582 --> 00:17:14,317
Yeah.
428
00:17:14,351 --> 00:17:15,951
- Holly?
- Yes?
429
00:17:15,986 --> 00:17:17,519
I've never felt
this way before.
430
00:17:17,554 --> 00:17:18,854
Me too.
431
00:17:18,888 --> 00:17:20,822
- I'm burning up.
- Oh, me too.
432
00:17:20,857 --> 00:17:23,191
- My heart is pounding.
- Oh, me too.
433
00:17:23,226 --> 00:17:25,627
I feel like there's
an elephant sitting on my chest!
434
00:17:25,661 --> 00:17:26,627
Me...
wha...?
435
00:17:26,662 --> 00:17:29,664
[Chokes]
436
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,667
Paul!
437
00:17:33,702 --> 00:17:36,905
Call 911!
438
00:17:36,939 --> 00:17:40,675
Aw, crap!
439
00:17:40,710 --> 00:17:43,545
Hold the elevator!
440
00:17:43,579 --> 00:17:45,314
[Panting] Thanks. My wife
just went into labor,
441
00:17:45,348 --> 00:17:47,316
and I gotta get her to
the hospital. It's our first.
442
00:17:47,350 --> 00:17:48,884
Aww, congratulations!
443
00:17:48,919 --> 00:17:52,021
I'm going up to get married.
It's my second.
444
00:17:52,056 --> 00:17:53,423
Wait! Hold the elevator!
Kerry.
445
00:17:53,457 --> 00:17:55,658
Phil, what
are you doing here?
446
00:17:55,692 --> 00:17:57,026
Stopping you from making
a huge mistake.
447
00:17:57,060 --> 00:17:58,394
You can't marry Ted.
448
00:17:58,428 --> 00:17:59,428
[Scoffs]
Don't be ridiculous.
449
00:17:59,462 --> 00:18:02,899
Of course I can.
450
00:18:02,933 --> 00:18:04,400
Phil,
what are you doing?
451
00:18:04,434 --> 00:18:06,935
Yeah, Phil,
what are you doing?
452
00:18:06,970 --> 00:18:08,270
[Cell phone rings]
453
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:10,205
Look, Ted's not the right guy
for you.
454
00:18:10,239 --> 00:18:12,841
I'm sure it's very hard
to see your ex get married,
455
00:18:12,875 --> 00:18:14,676
but, honey,
you gotta let it go.
456
00:18:14,710 --> 00:18:16,945
Dr. Ted
is cheating on you.
457
00:18:16,979 --> 00:18:18,013
[Chuckles] Where is this
coming from?
458
00:18:18,047 --> 00:18:19,381
You've never even met him.
459
00:18:19,416 --> 00:18:21,584
Honey, just keep
doing the breathing.
460
00:18:21,618 --> 00:18:23,286
Are we close here?
461
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:26,356
Yeah, let's go.
462
00:18:26,390 --> 00:18:28,958
I saw him at the bar this
afternoon kissing another woman.
463
00:18:28,993 --> 00:18:31,861
Do you expect me
to believe that?
464
00:18:31,896 --> 00:18:33,263
I got proof,
okay?
465
00:18:33,297 --> 00:18:35,799
[Scoffs] A napkin
with his autograph.
466
00:18:35,834 --> 00:18:37,701
That's your proof?
A napkin?
467
00:18:37,735 --> 00:18:40,137
That is a little weak.
Going up?
468
00:18:40,172 --> 00:18:43,074
Kerry, I know
we've had our problems.
469
00:18:43,108 --> 00:18:44,942
But I'm gonna always
care about you,
470
00:18:44,976 --> 00:18:46,477
and I don't wanna
see you get hurt.
471
00:18:46,511 --> 00:18:48,112
Phil,
that's very sweet,
472
00:18:48,146 --> 00:18:49,713
but you gotta give me
something better than that.
473
00:18:49,748 --> 00:18:51,215
Why should I believe you?
474
00:18:51,249 --> 00:18:53,984
Okay. How much do
I hate paying alimony?
475
00:18:54,019 --> 00:18:55,653
More than life itself.
476
00:18:55,687 --> 00:18:57,455
Right. So why would
I be trying to stop you
477
00:18:57,489 --> 00:18:59,390
if it meant having to pay you
for the rest of my life?
478
00:18:59,424 --> 00:19:01,626
Why would I do that?
479
00:19:01,660 --> 00:19:03,995
Because he's
a cheating sleazebag?
480
00:19:04,029 --> 00:19:06,931
You got it.
481
00:19:06,965 --> 00:19:09,634
Wait. Whoa, whoa. You're still
going through with this?
482
00:19:09,668 --> 00:19:11,802
No, I'm going up there
to kick his ass.
483
00:19:11,837 --> 00:19:13,137
Yeah, kick his ass!
484
00:19:13,172 --> 00:19:17,108
Everyone's happy.
Let's go!
485
00:19:17,142 --> 00:19:21,179
- Thank you, Phil.
- Mm-hmm.
486
00:19:21,213 --> 00:19:23,847
I owe you.
487
00:19:23,882 --> 00:19:26,450
Nope.
488
00:19:26,485 --> 00:19:29,320
I'm gonna owe you.
'Cause...
489
00:19:29,354 --> 00:19:31,655
♪ I'm gonna have to
pay some more ♪
490
00:19:31,690 --> 00:19:35,159
♪ I'm gonna have to
pay some more ♪
491
00:19:35,193 --> 00:19:36,827
Phil, I can't believe
492
00:19:36,862 --> 00:19:39,262
you got Salvatore to open up
Renauro's one last time.
493
00:19:39,297 --> 00:19:41,265
Well, I kinda ruined
your last meal here,
494
00:19:41,299 --> 00:19:43,200
so I wanted to
make it right.
495
00:19:43,234 --> 00:19:45,202
Did I mention
you're paying?
496
00:19:45,236 --> 00:19:46,369
- Several times.
- Cool.
497
00:19:46,404 --> 00:19:47,437
- Hey, you guys.
- Oh, hey.
498
00:19:47,471 --> 00:19:48,705
- Hi, Holly.
- What up?
499
00:19:48,739 --> 00:19:50,273
Um, hey,
how's your friend doing?
500
00:19:50,307 --> 00:19:51,775
Oh, well, I just got back
from the hospital.
501
00:19:51,809 --> 00:19:53,676
The doctor said it was
a mild heart attack,
502
00:19:53,710 --> 00:19:55,278
and he's
gonna be fine.
503
00:19:55,312 --> 00:19:57,714
Oh. Did you find out
if he was into you or not?
504
00:19:57,748 --> 00:20:00,217
Well, the surgeon said it
could've been caused by arousal.
505
00:20:00,251 --> 00:20:01,852
All: Oh!
- Or blockage.
506
00:20:01,887 --> 00:20:03,621
All: Aw.
- I'm going with arousal.
507
00:20:03,655 --> 00:20:05,490
- Nice.
- [Chuckles]
508
00:20:05,524 --> 00:20:06,892
Anyway,
let's eat.
509
00:20:06,926 --> 00:20:08,727
Okay, well,
what should we order?
510
00:20:08,761 --> 00:20:11,230
Well, considering this place
has been closed for two days,
511
00:20:11,264 --> 00:20:13,165
let's say we steer clear
of the scallops.
512
00:20:13,199 --> 00:20:15,100
All: Mm.
513
00:20:15,150 --> 00:20:19,700
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