Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:04,206
Wendy, I had
a great time last night.
2
00:00:07,544 --> 00:00:09,201
You are a cutie.
3
00:00:09,235 --> 00:00:11,169
I ain't gonna
argue with you there.
4
00:00:11,207 --> 00:00:12,375
[both laugh]
5
00:00:13,975 --> 00:00:16,906
Yeah!
6
00:00:16,941 --> 00:00:18,605
Morning, Haskell.
Shh! Hold on.
7
00:00:18,639 --> 00:00:21,507
Just 'cause your date is over
doesn't mean mine is.
8
00:00:21,542 --> 00:00:23,209
Oh, you online
with your cyber-squeeze?
9
00:00:23,243 --> 00:00:25,111
Yeah.
We should double sometime.
10
00:00:25,145 --> 00:00:26,877
I'll bring my laptop.
11
00:00:26,911 --> 00:00:29,613
Wow, you and Rebecca
have been dating for a while.
12
00:00:29,647 --> 00:00:31,917
Seems like you guys
are getting kind of serious.
13
00:00:31,951 --> 00:00:33,621
Haskell's got a girlfriend?
14
00:00:33,655 --> 00:00:35,191
[laughs] Sorry, I didn't
mean to sound so shocked.
15
00:00:35,225 --> 00:00:37,399
You've got a girlfriend?
16
00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:39,170
What is so strange
about that?
17
00:00:39,204 --> 00:00:41,272
In fact,
we're on a date right now.
18
00:00:41,307 --> 00:00:43,007
"How is the weather
in Seattle?"
19
00:00:43,042 --> 00:00:45,147
Ah, so the girlfriend's
from Seattle, huh?
20
00:00:45,181 --> 00:00:46,215
Yep.
21
00:00:46,249 --> 00:00:47,317
So she comes here?
Nope.
22
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:49,987
So he goes there?
Nope.
23
00:00:50,022 --> 00:00:51,089
Hang on.
24
00:00:51,123 --> 00:00:52,591
Haskell,
have you ever actually
25
00:00:52,625 --> 00:00:54,092
Been in the same room
as your girlfriend?
26
00:00:54,127 --> 00:00:55,428
Nope.
27
00:00:55,463 --> 00:00:57,266
But I spent 12 years
in the same room
28
00:00:57,300 --> 00:00:58,367
With my ex-wife.
29
00:00:58,401 --> 00:01:01,438
Trust me,
it's overrated.
30
00:01:01,472 --> 00:01:03,039
So, you've got
this girlfriend,
31
00:01:03,073 --> 00:01:04,174
But all you do
is sit around and video chat?
32
00:01:04,209 --> 00:01:05,910
No, no.
No video.
33
00:01:05,945 --> 00:01:08,148
One can express oneself
so much more intimately
34
00:01:08,182 --> 00:01:10,117
With just words.
35
00:01:10,151 --> 00:01:12,621
I don't mean to pry,
36
00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:13,923
But how do you have sex?
37
00:01:13,958 --> 00:01:16,293
Oh, there's an app for that.
38
00:01:19,031 --> 00:01:20,064
Oh, hey.
Listen, guys--
39
00:01:20,099 --> 00:01:21,099
Oh, holly. Holly.
40
00:01:21,134 --> 00:01:22,635
Prepare to be weirded out.
41
00:01:28,076 --> 00:01:29,543
All right, listen.
42
00:01:29,577 --> 00:01:31,945
Um, there's a, uh,
problem down in the laundry room
43
00:01:31,980 --> 00:01:35,048
And I need a man, phil.
44
00:01:35,083 --> 00:01:36,383
Whoa, hey,
hang on, hang on.
45
00:01:36,417 --> 00:01:38,218
I mean, how come you
automatically, you know,
46
00:01:38,252 --> 00:01:39,286
Go to Phil?
47
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:40,587
He's not the only man here.
48
00:01:40,621 --> 00:01:42,121
Okay, fine.
49
00:01:42,156 --> 00:01:43,623
Um, there's a big,
scary homeless man
50
00:01:43,657 --> 00:01:44,690
Down in the laundry room,
51
00:01:44,725 --> 00:01:46,125
And I need help
booting him out.
52
00:01:46,159 --> 00:01:48,394
You want to get that, Phil?
53
00:01:48,428 --> 00:01:49,995
Oh, I would,
54
00:01:50,030 --> 00:01:51,698
But I'd rather sit here
and watch you squirm
55
00:01:51,732 --> 00:01:54,535
Like a scared little girl.
56
00:01:54,569 --> 00:01:58,406
All right, butch, you're up.
57
00:01:58,441 --> 00:01:59,441
[upbeat music]
58
00:01:59,475 --> 00:02:01,910
♪ do-do do do ♪
59
00:02:01,945 --> 00:02:03,946
♪ do-do dee da ♪
60
00:02:03,980 --> 00:02:06,015
♪ do do do do ♪
61
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,955
That the homeless guy?
62
00:02:10,989 --> 00:02:14,058
No, Stuart, that's
the party planner from 4c.
63
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,126
All right.
[clears throat]
64
00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:18,063
Don't worry, I got this.
65
00:02:18,098 --> 00:02:20,933
Whoa.
That is one large bum.
66
00:02:20,967 --> 00:02:22,602
It's go time, cupcake.
67
00:02:25,106 --> 00:02:26,907
Listen, buddy.
68
00:02:26,941 --> 00:02:29,110
This--uh, this laundry room
is for tenants only,
69
00:02:29,144 --> 00:02:31,113
So I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave.
70
00:02:31,147 --> 00:02:32,347
Now, we can do this
the hard way
71
00:02:32,382 --> 00:02:33,949
Or we can do it
the easy way,
72
00:02:33,983 --> 00:02:37,253
And I, for one,
am praying for the easy way.
73
00:02:37,288 --> 00:02:38,688
I didn't mean to
upset anyone.
74
00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,557
I'll get out of here
right away.
75
00:02:40,592 --> 00:02:41,558
Sorry.
76
00:02:41,593 --> 00:02:43,060
No, I'm sorry.
77
00:02:43,095 --> 00:02:44,228
I didn't mean
to be such a bully.
78
00:02:44,263 --> 00:02:45,530
You know what?
Take your time.
79
00:02:45,564 --> 00:02:47,031
And finish that spin cycle,
80
00:02:47,066 --> 00:02:49,033
Or you'll never
get the wrinkles out.
81
00:02:49,068 --> 00:02:50,401
What are you doing, Stuart?
82
00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:52,303
I'm showing something
called compassion.
83
00:02:52,337 --> 00:02:54,071
By the way, sir,
I didn't catch your name.
84
00:02:54,106 --> 00:02:55,206
My name's bob.
85
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:56,941
Hi, bob. I'm Stuart.
86
00:02:56,975 --> 00:02:58,342
This is holly.
We live here in this building.
87
00:02:58,376 --> 00:02:59,710
Why don't you
just tell him I live alone?
88
00:02:59,745 --> 00:03:02,212
Oh, great.
Now I just told him.
89
00:03:02,247 --> 00:03:04,381
Just stop overreacting,
okay?
90
00:03:04,416 --> 00:03:06,283
He's not a threat.
[scoffs]
91
00:03:06,317 --> 00:03:08,986
Uh, here you go, bob.
92
00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:12,423
20 bucks?
Thanks.
93
00:03:12,457 --> 00:03:15,259
Why don't you
just open him up a 401k?
94
00:03:15,294 --> 00:03:17,328
Listen, stranger.
95
00:03:17,363 --> 00:03:18,630
Just finish
with your business,
96
00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:20,265
And then you'd
best be moving on.
97
00:03:20,299 --> 00:03:23,969
When did I turn into
the sheriff of tombstone?
98
00:03:33,014 --> 00:03:34,147
Hey!
99
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:35,649
What are you doing
barging in here?
100
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:38,685
Can't you see I want
to be alone with my lady?
101
00:03:39,954 --> 00:03:41,254
Sorry. Sorry.
102
00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:43,590
Didn't realize
you were on a date.
103
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:48,094
Ah, you're stuck
in here too, huh?
104
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:52,466
Come on, man.
He's got a lady over.
105
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,967
All right, look.
106
00:03:54,002 --> 00:03:56,136
I'm a pretty
open-minded guy, okay?
107
00:03:56,171 --> 00:03:57,571
Man and woman.
Woman and woman.
108
00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,006
Man and man.
It's all great.
109
00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,074
Man and laptop?
110
00:04:00,108 --> 00:04:03,010
I'm not marching
in that parade.
111
00:04:03,044 --> 00:04:04,044
Oh, God!
112
00:04:04,079 --> 00:04:06,547
No! No! No! No!
113
00:04:06,582 --> 00:04:08,516
Haskell,
is everything okay?
114
00:04:08,551 --> 00:04:10,218
Rebecca's flying
into town tomorrow
115
00:04:10,253 --> 00:04:11,386
And she wants to see me.
116
00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:13,389
Ah, well, it's about time.
117
00:04:13,423 --> 00:04:14,890
What's wrong with that?
118
00:04:14,925 --> 00:04:15,991
I don't think
she would recognize me
119
00:04:16,026 --> 00:04:18,294
From the picture I posted.
120
00:04:18,328 --> 00:04:19,528
What'd you do?
121
00:04:19,563 --> 00:04:21,197
Put up an old picture
of yourself?
122
00:04:21,231 --> 00:04:23,532
No, I put up a new picture...
123
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:26,068
Of you.
124
00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:33,714
Haskell, why?
125
00:04:33,749 --> 00:04:34,982
Why would you put a picture up
126
00:04:35,016 --> 00:04:36,050
Of me and not yourself?
127
00:04:36,084 --> 00:04:37,451
Well, let's face it.
128
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:40,320
My male modeling days
are over.
129
00:04:40,355 --> 00:04:41,822
Sure, I might get
some hand and foot work,
130
00:04:41,856 --> 00:04:43,925
But the pretty is gone.
131
00:04:43,959 --> 00:04:45,560
Now we've got a big problem!
132
00:04:45,594 --> 00:04:46,728
What do you mean "we"?
133
00:04:46,763 --> 00:04:48,430
Well, she thinks
I look like you,
134
00:04:48,465 --> 00:04:49,732
Which means you're
gonna have to go on the date
135
00:04:49,766 --> 00:04:50,866
With her and tell her
that you're me.
136
00:04:50,901 --> 00:04:52,335
Even if I agreed to this,
137
00:04:52,369 --> 00:04:53,636
How am I gonna
make it through a date?
138
00:04:53,671 --> 00:04:55,639
You guys know everything
about each other.
139
00:04:55,673 --> 00:04:57,641
I'll teach you.
140
00:04:57,675 --> 00:04:58,908
I'll train you.
141
00:04:58,943 --> 00:05:02,345
I'll become your sensei.
142
00:05:02,379 --> 00:05:03,780
Before I'm done with you,
143
00:05:03,814 --> 00:05:09,052
You will eat, sleep,
and breathe Haskell Lutz.
144
00:05:09,086 --> 00:05:12,321
You trying to talk me
into this or out of it?
145
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:14,323
Phillip,
I think these got mixed in
146
00:05:14,357 --> 00:05:16,525
With my laundry by mistake.
147
00:05:16,559 --> 00:05:18,093
Um, they're mine.
148
00:05:18,127 --> 00:05:19,661
Ooh.
149
00:05:21,764 --> 00:05:24,867
Perfect, you can wear them
on your date with Rebecca.
150
00:05:24,901 --> 00:05:26,903
You're finally
gonna meet Rebecca?
151
00:05:26,937 --> 00:05:27,904
Uh, Phil is.
152
00:05:27,938 --> 00:05:29,573
Oh, no, Phil's not.
153
00:05:29,607 --> 00:05:30,874
Check out what
this genius did.
154
00:05:30,908 --> 00:05:32,710
He posted my picture
online instead of his,
155
00:05:32,744 --> 00:05:34,478
And now he wants me
to pretend to be him.
156
00:05:34,512 --> 00:05:35,612
Can you believe that?
157
00:05:35,647 --> 00:05:37,281
That's only fair.
What?
158
00:05:37,315 --> 00:05:38,682
You owe him.
Come on.
159
00:05:38,717 --> 00:05:40,484
You think you're
easy to live with?
160
00:05:40,518 --> 00:05:42,919
How many times has this guy
had to deal with angry women
161
00:05:42,954 --> 00:05:45,456
Banging on the door because
you never called them back?
162
00:05:45,490 --> 00:05:47,457
One of them kicked me
in the crotch and said,
163
00:05:47,492 --> 00:05:51,595
"give this to phil."
164
00:05:51,629 --> 00:05:53,964
Fine.
165
00:05:53,998 --> 00:05:55,699
One date. Two drinks.
166
00:05:55,733 --> 00:05:56,933
You're buying.
167
00:05:56,968 --> 00:05:58,668
Oh, thank you!
Thank you! Thank you!
168
00:05:58,703 --> 00:06:00,337
Aww, you guys worked it out.
I'm proud of you.
169
00:06:00,371 --> 00:06:03,439
I'm raisin' me
some fine boys here.
170
00:06:03,474 --> 00:06:07,410
Now I'm talking
like a widowed rancher.
171
00:06:09,781 --> 00:06:13,016
Okay, Haskell Lutz
pop quiz.
172
00:06:13,051 --> 00:06:14,851
Rebecca and I share
a common passion, which is?
173
00:06:14,886 --> 00:06:16,786
A love of astronomy.
I always wanted to be?
174
00:06:16,821 --> 00:06:18,422
An astronaut?
Because?
175
00:06:18,456 --> 00:06:19,657
At a young age,
you realized you loved space
176
00:06:19,691 --> 00:06:20,691
And had a gift
for sitting on your ass
177
00:06:20,725 --> 00:06:21,692
For enormous periods of time.
178
00:06:21,726 --> 00:06:24,962
Ahh.
179
00:06:24,996 --> 00:06:26,630
I had the right stuff.
180
00:06:26,665 --> 00:06:28,633
Just too much of it.
181
00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:29,634
And Rebecca?
182
00:06:29,668 --> 00:06:31,469
She smells.
No!
183
00:06:31,503 --> 00:06:33,037
She's a perfumist.
Oh, right. Right.
184
00:06:33,072 --> 00:06:35,340
She creates scents.
185
00:06:35,374 --> 00:06:36,841
Which reminds me.
186
00:06:36,875 --> 00:06:38,910
Hey! Hey!
187
00:06:38,944 --> 00:06:41,546
It's the scent that Rebecca
blended especially for me.
188
00:06:41,580 --> 00:06:44,382
"summer Lutz."
189
00:06:44,416 --> 00:06:45,950
Oh, well,
I smelled Lutz last summer.
190
00:06:45,985 --> 00:06:48,853
It didn't smell
anything like that.
191
00:06:48,888 --> 00:06:50,988
Hey--ooh, nice-lookin',
phil.
192
00:06:51,023 --> 00:06:53,657
Yeah.
But no Phil here.
193
00:06:53,692 --> 00:06:56,460
For the next two hours,
I'm Haskell Lutz.
194
00:06:56,494 --> 00:06:57,895
You sure you can
pull this off?
195
00:06:57,929 --> 00:07:00,864
B.S.-Ing a woman and then
sending her on her way?
196
00:07:00,899 --> 00:07:02,500
Yeah, you're good to go.
197
00:07:02,535 --> 00:07:05,070
Stuart!
198
00:07:05,104 --> 00:07:06,438
Are you happy?
199
00:07:06,473 --> 00:07:07,873
You fed the cat,
and it came back.
200
00:07:07,907 --> 00:07:10,342
Homeless bob is down
in the laundry room again.
201
00:07:10,377 --> 00:07:12,478
Well, I'm not surprised.
202
00:07:12,513 --> 00:07:14,347
Because the stains
on his clothes are one thing,
203
00:07:14,382 --> 00:07:16,416
But there's no detergent strong
enough to remove the stains
204
00:07:16,451 --> 00:07:19,820
Society puts on a man's soul.
205
00:07:19,854 --> 00:07:21,555
Wow.
206
00:07:21,589 --> 00:07:23,356
I can't remember
the last time someone
207
00:07:23,391 --> 00:07:26,593
So completely wasted my time.
208
00:07:26,628 --> 00:07:28,628
Go toss him!
209
00:07:33,668 --> 00:07:35,535
[gasps] Haskell!
210
00:07:35,570 --> 00:07:38,038
Rebecca!
Rebecca.
211
00:07:38,073 --> 00:07:40,808
The perfumist from Seattle.
212
00:07:40,842 --> 00:07:42,342
[clears throat]
okay.
213
00:07:42,377 --> 00:07:44,345
[nervous laugh]
214
00:07:44,379 --> 00:07:45,980
I have to admit
I'm a little nervous.
215
00:07:46,014 --> 00:07:47,682
I was afraid that
when we met in person
216
00:07:47,716 --> 00:07:50,585
It wouldn't be as special
as what we have online.
217
00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:52,988
The, uh, chemistry
wouldn't be there.
218
00:07:53,023 --> 00:07:55,424
Oh, but it is.
[both laugh]
219
00:07:55,458 --> 00:07:57,059
Yeah.
220
00:07:57,093 --> 00:07:59,428
The chemistry is happening.
221
00:07:59,462 --> 00:08:02,064
The atoms are mixing.
222
00:08:02,098 --> 00:08:03,932
We got it going on.
223
00:08:03,967 --> 00:08:05,534
[laughs]
224
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,369
It's funny, Haskell.
225
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:10,905
You imagine how someone's
gonna sound in person,
226
00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:14,308
And you're not it.
227
00:08:14,343 --> 00:08:17,711
Oh, well,
that's because, Rebecca,
228
00:08:17,746 --> 00:08:20,582
I'm also nervous.
229
00:08:20,616 --> 00:08:23,051
As a matter of fact,
I'm as nervous
230
00:08:23,085 --> 00:08:27,089
As that time in high school
when I was a drum major
231
00:08:27,123 --> 00:08:29,825
And I accidentally led the
marching band onto the freeway.
232
00:08:29,859 --> 00:08:32,395
Which was
a blessing in disguise,
233
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,030
Because if you hadn't
gotten kicked out of band,
234
00:08:34,064 --> 00:08:37,934
You would have never
joined the diving team.
235
00:08:37,968 --> 00:08:40,737
Haskell was a diver?
236
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,805
[confused]
led your team to state.
237
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,374
Shut up!
238
00:08:45,409 --> 00:08:47,976
Haskell, I'm getting
a weird feeling.
239
00:08:48,011 --> 00:08:49,511
Something doesn't feel right.
240
00:08:49,546 --> 00:08:50,846
No, wait, no.
241
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:53,048
Look, Rebecca,
can I be honest with you?
242
00:08:53,082 --> 00:08:54,282
Yeah.
243
00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:55,783
Okay.
Okay.
244
00:08:55,818 --> 00:08:58,019
Being here with you,
245
00:08:58,053 --> 00:08:59,988
Seeing you for the first time,
246
00:09:00,022 --> 00:09:01,055
I'm forgetting who I am.
247
00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:02,724
[chuckles]
yeah.
248
00:09:02,758 --> 00:09:05,627
But sitting here with you,
249
00:09:05,661 --> 00:09:09,065
Holding your hands
and looking into your eyes,
250
00:09:09,099 --> 00:09:10,900
I know this is right.
251
00:09:10,934 --> 00:09:12,902
That is the sweetest thing
you've ever said to me,
252
00:09:12,936 --> 00:09:14,971
Haskell rascal.
253
00:09:15,006 --> 00:09:16,640
I don't know about you,
254
00:09:16,674 --> 00:09:19,643
But this rascal
could use a drink.
255
00:09:19,677 --> 00:09:20,877
Let's order our favorites.
256
00:09:20,912 --> 00:09:22,412
Okay.
Okay.
257
00:09:22,447 --> 00:09:25,082
Um...You know what?
258
00:09:25,116 --> 00:09:26,316
Why don't you order it?
259
00:09:26,351 --> 00:09:27,651
All right.
260
00:09:27,685 --> 00:09:31,121
Two virgin lavender
lilac martinis, please!
261
00:09:33,492 --> 00:09:35,827
Flowers and no alcohol.
262
00:09:37,896 --> 00:09:40,531
Let's get this party started!
263
00:09:44,068 --> 00:09:47,037
Hi, holly.
Oh! Jeez--
264
00:09:47,071 --> 00:09:49,038
Stuart, you scared
the crap out of me.
265
00:09:49,073 --> 00:09:50,840
Oh, sorry. Sorry.
266
00:09:50,874 --> 00:09:51,841
What are you doing here?
267
00:09:51,875 --> 00:09:53,409
How did you even get in?
268
00:09:53,444 --> 00:09:55,678
Oh, I used
that emergency key you gave us.
269
00:09:55,712 --> 00:09:58,014
Stuart, that key
is only to be used
270
00:09:58,048 --> 00:09:59,882
If you haven't heard
from me in a couple days
271
00:09:59,917 --> 00:10:04,020
And there's a horrific smell
coming from underneath my door.
272
00:10:04,054 --> 00:10:06,422
Well, trust me,
I had a very good reason.
273
00:10:06,457 --> 00:10:07,791
[water running]
274
00:10:07,825 --> 00:10:10,160
Is that my shower?
275
00:10:11,963 --> 00:10:14,064
Stuart, who's in my shower?
276
00:10:14,099 --> 00:10:15,699
Well, you see,
Phil was tying up the bathroom
277
00:10:15,734 --> 00:10:17,001
Getting ready for his date.
278
00:10:17,035 --> 00:10:18,903
Oh, my god.
Haskell's in my shower?
279
00:10:18,937 --> 00:10:20,371
No. No. No.
280
00:10:20,405 --> 00:10:21,705
Of course not.
281
00:10:21,740 --> 00:10:25,008
Homeless bob is.
282
00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:31,380
What is he doing
in my shower?
283
00:10:31,414 --> 00:10:32,948
Holly, I went downstairs
to kick him out,
284
00:10:32,983 --> 00:10:34,549
We started talking.
285
00:10:34,584 --> 00:10:36,018
You know, he got laid off,
his wife left him,
286
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,819
He lost his money, he--
look, he just--
287
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:40,022
He just needs a little help
to get back on his feet.
288
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,590
I want him
out of here, Stuart,
289
00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:44,326
And I want him
out of here now.
290
00:10:44,361 --> 00:10:47,363
Hello.
291
00:10:52,102 --> 00:10:53,937
Hello yourself.
292
00:10:53,971 --> 00:10:55,705
I hope I'm not imposing,
okay?
293
00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:57,107
I'll just--
I'll just go get dressed.
294
00:10:57,141 --> 00:11:00,377
No hurry.
No hurry at all.
295
00:11:00,411 --> 00:11:01,711
Um, here you go, bob.
296
00:11:01,746 --> 00:11:02,879
Actually, I-I bought you
some new clothes.
297
00:11:02,914 --> 00:11:03,880
I hope they're the right size.
298
00:11:03,915 --> 00:11:06,783
Yeah, size big.
299
00:11:06,818 --> 00:11:08,552
Thanks, Stuart.
300
00:11:08,586 --> 00:11:10,387
You know, this is gonna help me
get my life back on track.
301
00:11:10,421 --> 00:11:11,788
Step one is looking good.
302
00:11:11,822 --> 00:11:14,757
Big ol' check on step one.
303
00:11:14,791 --> 00:11:16,992
Anyways, thank you
both for your kindness.
304
00:11:17,027 --> 00:11:18,427
I meant what I said
about a new start.
305
00:11:18,461 --> 00:11:19,628
I'm not gonna disappoint you.
306
00:11:19,662 --> 00:11:22,498
Oh, god bless you, bob.
307
00:11:22,533 --> 00:11:24,133
I mean, look at you.
You're out there.
308
00:11:24,168 --> 00:11:25,634
You're starting a new life
309
00:11:25,669 --> 00:11:29,472
And keeping in terrific shape.
310
00:11:29,506 --> 00:11:31,740
You are a very caring woman.
Oh.
311
00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:33,376
You know, I don't mean
to be forward, but I'm gonna be
312
00:11:33,410 --> 00:11:34,577
At that bar downstairs later,
313
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,045
And I would love
to buy you a drink.
314
00:11:36,079 --> 00:11:38,314
Well, why don't you
wear what you have on
315
00:11:38,348 --> 00:11:40,683
So I'll recognize you?
316
00:11:50,594 --> 00:11:51,828
Finally, you're back!
317
00:11:51,862 --> 00:11:55,365
You were a diver?
[laughs]
318
00:11:55,399 --> 00:11:57,367
Forget about that.
Tell me about Rebecca.
319
00:11:57,401 --> 00:11:58,802
What was she like?
What did you talk about?
320
00:11:58,836 --> 00:12:00,337
What kind of scent
did she wear?
321
00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:02,039
[sniffs] oh, my god.
322
00:12:02,073 --> 00:12:04,842
Roses and hibiscus.
323
00:12:04,876 --> 00:12:05,876
Stop sniffing me.
324
00:12:05,910 --> 00:12:07,111
But the most important thing
325
00:12:07,146 --> 00:12:08,746
Is she believed you, right?
326
00:12:08,781 --> 00:12:10,482
Oh, absolutely, man.
327
00:12:10,516 --> 00:12:12,384
She's on her way back
to the airport right now.
328
00:12:12,418 --> 00:12:13,719
In a couple of hours,
you can go back
329
00:12:13,753 --> 00:12:14,853
To feeling up your laptop.
330
00:12:14,888 --> 00:12:16,622
[sighs]
331
00:12:16,656 --> 00:12:18,124
That's all I ask.
332
00:12:18,158 --> 00:12:20,392
[doorbell]
333
00:12:22,762 --> 00:12:24,763
Hi, is Haskell here?
334
00:12:32,111 --> 00:12:33,078
[knock at door]
335
00:12:33,112 --> 00:12:35,147
[groan]
336
00:12:37,150 --> 00:12:40,652
I'm sorry, but Haskell Lutz
does live here, right?
337
00:12:40,686 --> 00:12:43,922
Yes.
338
00:12:43,956 --> 00:12:45,957
Yes, he does.
339
00:12:45,991 --> 00:12:48,393
Haskell.
He live here.
340
00:12:50,563 --> 00:12:51,529
Can I come in?
341
00:12:51,564 --> 00:12:53,431
Of course!
342
00:12:53,466 --> 00:12:55,033
Come in, Rebecca.
343
00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:56,601
How do you know my name?
344
00:12:56,635 --> 00:13:00,906
I...Know everything
about you.
345
00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:03,609
Haskell! He-he talks
about you all the time.
346
00:13:03,643 --> 00:13:05,444
I'm, uh--
I'm Phil,
347
00:13:05,478 --> 00:13:08,647
His handsome, devil may care,
bed-hopping roommate.
348
00:13:10,349 --> 00:13:12,817
So, uh, Phil, could you,
349
00:13:12,851 --> 00:13:15,653
Uh, get Haskell for me?
350
00:13:15,687 --> 00:13:19,590
Of course!
Yes, uh, Haskell!
351
00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:21,691
You've got company!
352
00:13:21,725 --> 00:13:22,892
What?
Man, I'm in the middle of--
353
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:25,862
Ha-ha-ha!
Hey!
354
00:13:25,896 --> 00:13:27,630
Rebecca!
355
00:13:27,664 --> 00:13:29,732
I put you in a cab.
Why aren't you in a cab?
356
00:13:29,766 --> 00:13:31,400
I booked a later flight.
357
00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:32,836
I realized I wasn't
ready to leave
358
00:13:32,870 --> 00:13:34,371
After we kissed good-bye.
359
00:13:34,405 --> 00:13:36,339
Kiss?
360
00:13:36,373 --> 00:13:38,909
There was a kiss?
361
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:41,445
Uh, Phil,
can I see you in the kitchen?
362
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,717
Oh, hey.
You must be Rebecca.
363
00:13:45,751 --> 00:13:46,918
Yes, and I'm Haskell.
364
00:13:46,953 --> 00:13:51,956
I'm phil.
365
00:13:51,990 --> 00:13:55,059
Am I still Stuart?
366
00:13:55,093 --> 00:13:57,594
Of course you are.
367
00:14:00,698 --> 00:14:02,065
What are we gonna do?
What are we gonna do?
368
00:14:02,099 --> 00:14:03,700
Okay, first,
you need to calm down.
369
00:14:03,734 --> 00:14:04,701
It's all your fault.
370
00:14:04,735 --> 00:14:08,003
I never said to kiss her!
371
00:14:08,038 --> 00:14:10,773
What sweet nectar of the gods
did her lips taste like?
372
00:14:10,807 --> 00:14:14,711
[groans]
373
00:14:14,745 --> 00:14:15,979
Oh, forget it!
374
00:14:16,014 --> 00:14:17,648
I don't want to know.
375
00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:19,817
Just being near that woman
is exquisite torture.
376
00:14:19,851 --> 00:14:21,986
All right,
I'm gonna take care of this.
377
00:14:22,021 --> 00:14:23,922
Haskell rascal
is gonna make sure
378
00:14:23,956 --> 00:14:25,857
That Rebecca
gets back in that cab.
379
00:14:25,891 --> 00:14:29,595
She used my nickname?
380
00:14:29,629 --> 00:14:33,998
She is my love, my life,
my everything.
381
00:14:34,033 --> 00:14:38,336
Now get her
the hell out of here.
382
00:14:38,370 --> 00:14:40,004
Hi, hi.
Hi, Eden.
383
00:14:40,038 --> 00:14:41,705
Uh, holly?
384
00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:43,407
Why are you wearing
a party-till-you-drop top
385
00:14:43,441 --> 00:14:45,775
With I've-given-up-hope
sweatpants?
386
00:14:47,911 --> 00:14:50,980
Because there's
this really gorgeous guy
387
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:52,749
Waiting for me
in the bar downstairs,
388
00:14:52,783 --> 00:14:54,517
But I'm having
second thoughts.
389
00:14:54,551 --> 00:14:57,920
About what?
Which part to jump first?
390
00:14:57,955 --> 00:14:59,655
I'm sorry,
I'm not getting the problem.
391
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:04,527
Well, you see,
he's kind of the outdoorsy type.
392
00:15:04,562 --> 00:15:07,064
H-he moves around a lot.
393
00:15:07,098 --> 00:15:08,832
Okay.
He's homeless.
394
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:10,533
Well, what?
Does he smell?
395
00:15:10,568 --> 00:15:11,835
Is he missing any teeth?
396
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:14,938
Are his best friends
not really there?
397
00:15:14,972 --> 00:15:16,339
No.
398
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,807
Then what are you
waiting for?
399
00:15:17,842 --> 00:15:20,076
You need to pounce on that.
400
00:15:20,111 --> 00:15:21,878
It's just that I'm torn.
401
00:15:21,912 --> 00:15:23,980
I mean, I've always had
this image of the kind of guy
402
00:15:24,014 --> 00:15:26,716
I should be with,
and I-I don't ask for much,
403
00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:28,985
But a roof would be nice.
404
00:15:29,019 --> 00:15:30,586
Holly, listen to me.
405
00:15:30,620 --> 00:15:31,921
You're a single woman
living in new York
406
00:15:31,955 --> 00:15:35,825
Who has the inside track
on a hot, available guy.
407
00:15:35,859 --> 00:15:38,961
I think it was a huge mistake
you even told me.
408
00:15:40,797 --> 00:15:42,532
You know, you're right.
409
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:46,035
Guys who live indoors
haven't worked out so well.
410
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,637
Maybe it's time
to widen the net.
411
00:15:47,671 --> 00:15:49,806
I'm gonna go for it!
Oh, yeah, you are!
412
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,441
Wait till everyone
at the office finds out
413
00:15:51,475 --> 00:15:54,511
Your drought's finally over.
414
00:15:54,545 --> 00:15:55,812
I'm so happy,
I don't even care
415
00:15:55,847 --> 00:15:59,349
If I lose the pool.
416
00:15:59,384 --> 00:16:01,919
So this is the computer
where all the magic happens.
417
00:16:01,953 --> 00:16:04,955
The typing,
the lols, the omgs.
418
00:16:04,989 --> 00:16:09,292
You know,
where we get online funky.
419
00:16:09,327 --> 00:16:11,695
We don't need
a computer, Haskell.
420
00:16:11,729 --> 00:16:15,432
I'm right here.
Right next to you.
421
00:16:15,466 --> 00:16:19,002
Hello.
422
00:16:19,036 --> 00:16:23,440
Hello back.
423
00:16:23,474 --> 00:16:24,674
Smiley wink.
424
00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:26,943
[laughs]
425
00:16:26,978 --> 00:16:29,646
I love how
you're shy, Haskell.
426
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:30,881
To tell you the truth,
427
00:16:30,915 --> 00:16:34,084
It brings out
the bad girl in me.
428
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:36,053
[phone rings]
429
00:16:36,087 --> 00:16:40,857
Slowly move away
from the woman on the couch.
430
00:16:40,892 --> 00:16:43,761
I'm trying, man.
431
00:16:46,098 --> 00:16:48,366
Haskell,
we're finally together.
432
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,834
You and me.
433
00:16:49,868 --> 00:16:51,869
This moment has been building up
inside of me for months.
434
00:16:51,903 --> 00:16:53,805
The wanting, the needing,
435
00:16:53,839 --> 00:16:55,807
The having to
have you take me.
436
00:16:55,841 --> 00:16:57,008
Take me now.
437
00:16:57,042 --> 00:16:59,043
You got it, baby.
438
00:17:00,413 --> 00:17:03,047
You son of a bitch!
439
00:17:03,082 --> 00:17:04,816
What the hell's
going on here?
440
00:17:04,850 --> 00:17:05,883
I'll you what's going on.
441
00:17:05,918 --> 00:17:07,552
That man is an impostor.
442
00:17:07,586 --> 00:17:09,521
He is not Haskell Lutz!
443
00:17:09,555 --> 00:17:11,690
Are you crazy,
of course he is!
444
00:17:11,724 --> 00:17:14,727
Yeah, are you crazy?
Of course I am!
445
00:17:14,761 --> 00:17:16,629
Oh, really?
446
00:17:16,663 --> 00:17:19,866
Does he know that your favorite
poem is ode to a nightingale,
447
00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:22,369
Which happens to be
your favorite bird?
448
00:17:22,403 --> 00:17:25,940
Does he know that--that you cry
when you watch comedies?
449
00:17:25,974 --> 00:17:29,743
That your favorite aunt has
a fruit farm outside Spokane,
450
00:17:29,778 --> 00:17:32,346
Where your father
proposed to your mother
451
00:17:32,380 --> 00:17:37,550
Under the watchful eye of
a three-legged dog named Scotty?
452
00:17:37,585 --> 00:17:40,019
No, of course he doesn't.
453
00:17:40,054 --> 00:17:41,421
And you know why?
454
00:17:41,455 --> 00:17:44,556
Because he isn't Haskell Lutz.
455
00:17:44,591 --> 00:17:47,459
I am.
456
00:17:47,494 --> 00:17:49,796
Oh, my god,
you are Haskell.
457
00:17:49,830 --> 00:17:53,867
Yes. It's me.
458
00:17:56,538 --> 00:17:58,539
I don't know
what kind of sick game
459
00:17:58,573 --> 00:17:59,540
You two are playing,
460
00:17:59,575 --> 00:18:03,445
But I am out of here.
461
00:18:07,885 --> 00:18:12,588
Wow.
462
00:18:12,622 --> 00:18:15,357
So how'd Scotty
lose his leg?
463
00:18:23,766 --> 00:18:25,099
Oh, bob!
464
00:18:25,134 --> 00:18:26,534
Thank god you're still here.
465
00:18:26,568 --> 00:18:27,968
I'm sorry I was late.
466
00:18:28,003 --> 00:18:30,704
I was just having
these silly little thoughts
467
00:18:30,738 --> 00:18:32,939
Because of you being,
you know,
468
00:18:32,973 --> 00:18:35,474
Roof-challenged.
469
00:18:35,509 --> 00:18:36,642
But then I just thought,
you know, why not
470
00:18:36,676 --> 00:18:37,910
Just give the guy a chance
471
00:18:37,944 --> 00:18:39,078
And look past all that?
472
00:18:39,112 --> 00:18:40,580
So here I am.
473
00:18:40,614 --> 00:18:42,048
You know, I'm sorry, holly.
474
00:18:42,082 --> 00:18:45,085
I-I met somebody else.
475
00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:47,754
Wha--
476
00:18:47,789 --> 00:18:48,789
When?
477
00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:50,157
While I was waiting for you.
478
00:18:50,192 --> 00:18:52,894
But it was only 20 minutes!
479
00:18:52,929 --> 00:18:54,863
Eden was right.
I had the inside track.
480
00:18:54,898 --> 00:18:57,466
I should have pounced!
I should have pounced!
481
00:18:57,501 --> 00:18:59,134
Look, holly,
you're a great girl, okay?
482
00:18:59,169 --> 00:19:00,769
I got some friends
I can introduce you to.
483
00:19:00,804 --> 00:19:02,171
My buddy, scratch, is single.
484
00:19:02,205 --> 00:19:05,974
Please,
I'm not that desperate.
485
00:19:06,009 --> 00:19:08,509
Have him stop
by the laundry room.
486
00:19:11,213 --> 00:19:13,547
Hi, Rebecca?
487
00:19:13,582 --> 00:19:15,015
You again?
488
00:19:15,050 --> 00:19:17,151
Just give me a minute,
and then I'll walk away.
489
00:19:17,185 --> 00:19:18,818
Okay.
490
00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:20,821
Rebecca,
491
00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:23,624
I am so sorry
about what happened.
492
00:19:23,658 --> 00:19:25,426
About deceiving you.
493
00:19:25,460 --> 00:19:27,194
It's just that
the relationship we had
494
00:19:27,228 --> 00:19:29,763
Was so special to me
495
00:19:29,797 --> 00:19:31,498
That I was afraid to lose it.
496
00:19:31,532 --> 00:19:33,767
It was special to me too.
497
00:19:33,802 --> 00:19:35,769
Haskell, the man I met online
498
00:19:35,804 --> 00:19:40,541
Was a sweet, sensitive,
smart, wonderful man.
499
00:19:40,575 --> 00:19:42,576
I am!
I'm that guy.
500
00:19:42,611 --> 00:19:45,746
I'm sorry, but you lied about
who you were for five months.
501
00:19:45,780 --> 00:19:49,483
I don't know how
I could ever trust you again.
502
00:19:49,518 --> 00:19:54,389
I just wish you would have
believed in yourself.
503
00:19:54,423 --> 00:19:55,857
Wait a minute.
504
00:19:55,892 --> 00:19:58,860
Are you saying that
if I used my own picture,
505
00:19:58,895 --> 00:20:01,830
You and I would have happened?
506
00:20:01,865 --> 00:20:04,200
Well, now we'll never know.
507
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,548
I'm sorry, man.
508
00:20:18,582 --> 00:20:21,217
Yep. I'm sorry too.
509
00:20:21,251 --> 00:20:23,085
You're not the only one
who had a bad night.
510
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:25,621
Holly got dumped
by homeless bob.
511
00:20:27,557 --> 00:20:29,824
I should have pounced.
512
00:20:29,859 --> 00:20:32,193
I should have pounced!
513
00:20:32,194 --> 00:20:33,240
-- Sync by Rafael UPD --
www.addic7ed.com/
514
00:20:33,290 --> 00:20:37,840
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35363
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
