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00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:05,605
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:10,170
[LAUGHS]
3
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:22,415
EARTHQUAKE!
EARTHQUAKE!
4
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,917
DARLENE,
KNOCK IT OFF.
5
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,419
GOOD AFTERNOON.
THIS IS ROSEANNE
6
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:28,487
AT THE MAGAZINE
DISCOUNT HOUSE.
7
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:30,556
MOM'S TRYING TO WORK!
8
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:31,558
SO. I WORKED
TODAY, TOO.
9
00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:33,560
SHH!
DON'T SHUSH ME.
10
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,562
D.J., DON'T MAKE ME
KILL YOU.
11
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:37,564
...THAN WHAT YOU FIND
AT THE NEWSSTANDS.
12
00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:39,065
[MUFFLED SHOUTING]
13
00:01:39,065 --> 00:01:40,566
OH! I'M NOT
INTERESTED EITHER,
14
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:41,935
BUT IT'S MY JOB.
15
00:01:44,337 --> 00:01:45,838
DARLENE, WHAT
IS YOUR PROBLEM?
16
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:46,840
I'M HUNGRY.
17
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,341
WELL, DINNER
AIN'T READY YET.
18
00:01:48,341 --> 00:01:49,842
I'M HUNGRY NOW.
19
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:50,844
WELL, HERE.
START ON THIS.
20
00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:55,148
I HEAR FLEECE IS
VERY HIGH IN FIBER.
21
00:01:55,148 --> 00:01:56,649
MOMMY, DIAL
THE NEXT NUMBER?
22
00:01:56,649 --> 00:01:58,150
HIT IT, PARTNER.
23
00:01:58,151 --> 00:02:00,553
DOESN'T ANYONE WANT
TO HEAR ABOUT MY DAY?
24
00:02:00,553 --> 00:02:01,887
NO.
25
00:02:01,888 --> 00:02:04,090
GOOD PARENTING.
26
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:05,658
WHERE ARE
THE COOKIES?
27
00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:07,059
PROBABLY
UNDER YOUR BED.
28
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:08,628
OH, YEAH.
29
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,733
HELLO. MY MOM WOULD LIKE
TO TALK TO YOU.
30
00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:17,303
GOOD AFTERNOON. THIS IS
MAGAZINE AT THE ROSE--
31
00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:21,040
HEY, BABE,
HOW'S IT GOING?
32
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,008
DEATH.
DEATH.
33
00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:24,577
HANG IN THERE.
34
00:02:24,577 --> 00:02:25,578
HEY, I MAY NOT HAVE TO.
35
00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:27,079
REMEMBER VONDA'S
HUSBAND?
36
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,581
YEAH, SURE. PAUL.
37
00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:31,083
PHIL. HE WORKS
OVER THERE AT, UH...
38
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:32,085
GARVIN MEAT
PACKING PLANT,
39
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:34,454
AND HE GOT ME
AN INTERVIEW FOR A JOB TOMORROW.
40
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:36,055
YEAH? WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT PACKING MEAT?
41
00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:40,626
WELL, I'VE BEEN LIVING
WITH A RUMP ROAST FOR 15 YEARS.
44
00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:47,032
SO I'M GONNA
GO MEET WITH THE MANAGER TOMORROW.
45
00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:48,100
GREAT.
HEY, GET THIS.
46
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:50,603
I ACTUALLY HAD TO TURN DOWN
A JOB TODAY. YOU BELIEVE IT?
47
00:02:50,603 --> 00:02:52,671
GEE, DAN, TELL ME
ABOUT YOUR DAY.
48
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:55,875
I'M SERIOUS.
THE DRIVEWAY JOB OVER AT OLD OAKS?
49
00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:58,644
WE'RE TOO BUSY.
50
00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,713
YOU'RE JUST
A REGULAR BIG SHOT.
51
00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:02,715
YEAH.
52
00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:04,149
WHAT'S FOR SUPPER?
53
00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:06,085
[POUNDS ON TABLE]
54
00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:08,087
OH, MY GOD.
55
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,527
UNCOOKED MEAT.
56
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:17,530
OOH, AND I WAS
JUST WORMED.
57
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:18,531
OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
58
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:20,032
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING
RIGHT ANYMORE.
59
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,535
YEAH, I KNOW, BABE.
YOU KNOW...
60
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:25,037
IT JUST MIGHT BE TIME
TO SEND YOU DOWN TO THE MINORS.
61
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:27,540
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
62
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:29,542
HELLO.
63
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,044
HEY, BECKERS,
WHAT'S UP?
64
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,048
BECKY WANTS TO KNOW
IF SHE CAN GO OVER TO DIANE'S AFTER SCHOOL.
65
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,050
IT IS AFTER SCHOOL.
WHERE IS SHE NOW?
66
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,051
WHERE ARE YOU NOW?
67
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,053
DIANE'S.
68
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,557
HEY, BECKY, YOU
WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO THE STORE
69
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,559
FOR ME AFTER
SCHOOL TODAY.
70
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,562
YEAH, I WAS ON
THE PHONE ALL DAY.
71
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,063
WELL, YOU WANT
YOUR OWN PHONE,
72
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:54,467
YOU GOTTA BUY
YOUR OWN HOUSE.
73
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:56,535
YEAH, YOU MIGHT AS WELL
EAT OVER AT DIANE'S.
74
00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:58,538
CALL US WHEN
YOU'RE DONE. WE'LL PICK YOU UP.
75
00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:00,373
HAVE FUN. BYE.
76
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:02,675
WHO WANTS TO HAVE DINNER
AT WAGON TRAIN?
77
00:04:02,675 --> 00:04:04,510
YEAH, DADDY!
78
00:04:04,510 --> 00:04:06,078
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
DINNER AT WAGON TRAIN?!
79
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,580
YOU BET WE ARE.
SADDLE UP, PARD.
80
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:08,581
WHY ARE WE
GOING OUT?
81
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,082
IS THE CAN OPENER
BROKEN?
82
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,085
HA HA.
83
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,586
NO FOOLING
YOU YOUNG'UNS.
84
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:16,589
I'M GOING TO
RIDE SHOTGUN.
85
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:23,596
SO ANYWAY,
VONDA'S HUSBAND'S
86
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,598
BEEN WORKING THERE
FOR 8 YEARS, YOU KNOW,
87
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,600
AND THEY LIVE
PRETTY DAMN WELL.
88
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,101
I MEAN, HE STARTED OFF
ON THE LOADING DOCK,
89
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:32,605
AND ALREADY
HE'S A FOREMAN... YOU KNOW...
90
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:35,107
AHEM. SO THEY
REALLY TAKE CARE OF THEIR OWN.
91
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,109
AS OPPOSED TO WELLMAN,
92
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,110
WHERE WE START OFF
ON THE LOADING DOCK
93
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,112
AND END UP IN
THE PARKING LOT.
94
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,613
SIT STILL.
95
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,615
AND VONDA SAYS THAT
THEY'RE REALLY NICE.
96
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:45,784
THEY'RE ALWAYS HAVING,
LIKE, COMPANY PICNICS AND JUNK LIKE THAT.
97
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:47,853
WE NEVER DID NOTHING
LIKE THAT AT WELLMAN.
98
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:50,356
DID VONDA TELL YOU
WHAT KIND OF JOB YOU'RE INTERVIEWING FOR?
99
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:53,359
WELL, ALL I KNOW IS
I'LL HAVE MY OWN CHAIR.
100
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:58,263
OK. DO THIS.
101
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,701
SHAKE YOUR HEAD.
102
00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:07,106
OK. NOW DO THIS.
103
00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:12,711
I HOPE THE INTERVIEW
AIN'T THIS HARD.
104
00:05:12,712 --> 00:05:15,781
OH, YOU'RE GOING TO
WOW 'EM, SIS.
105
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:18,785
OH, THEY'RE NOT
GOING TO HIRE ME.
106
00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:21,788
THEY'RE GONNA HIRE
SOME LITTLE CHICKEE WITH A TIGHT SKIRT
107
00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:24,290
AND A LOOSE
EVERYTHING ELSE.
108
00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:25,791
STOP.
109
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:29,796
I'M GONNA BE SELLING MAGAZINES
'TIL THEY PUT ME IN MY GRAVE.
110
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:34,801
I'M GONNA BE CREMATED
WITH BACK ISSUES OF FIELD AND STREAM.
111
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:37,937
YOU WANT TO GET
CREMATED, TOO?
112
00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:41,006
I DON'T KNOW!
DO WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT NOW?
113
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,009
CAN I JUST GET A MINUTE?
114
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,477
YEAH. OK.
115
00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:47,346
ROSEANNE,
YOU'RE MAKING TOO BIG OF A DEAL OUT OF IT.
116
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,915
[DOOR CLOSES]
117
00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:51,417
IT'S JUST A JOB.
118
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:52,918
YOU KNOW, WHEN I GO ON
AN INTERVIEW,
119
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:54,720
I DON'T GET DRESSED UP
ON PURPOSE.
120
00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:55,788
IT JUST MAKES YOU
MORE NERVOUS,
121
00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:58,290
THEN YOU START
TO SWEAT...
122
00:05:58,291 --> 00:06:00,293
THEN YOU START
WORRYING THAT YOU'RE SWEATING TOO MUCH,
123
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,294
SO YOU SIT THERE
REAL STIFF
124
00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:02,295
'CAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID
IF YOU LIFT YOUR ARMS,
125
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:05,298
YOU'LL HAVE THESE GREAT
BIG PIT STAINS.
126
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,800
AND THEN YOU GET
THAT ACID FEELING IN YOUR STOMACH,
127
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,803
LIKE IF YOU OPEN
YOUR MOUTH TO TALK, YOU'RE GONNA BELCH.
128
00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:13,839
WHENEVER I GO ON
AN INTERVIEW, I JUST GO AS ME.
129
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,409
WELL, THAT'S WHY
YOU WORK IN A BAR.
130
00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:20,913
JACKIE!
131
00:06:20,913 --> 00:06:22,414
[TURNS TV ON]
132
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:24,417
JACKIE, YOU'RE
BLOCKING ME.
133
00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:25,351
IN WHAT SENSE?
134
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,322
IN A PLYMOUTH SENSE.
135
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,724
OH, SORRY.
I'LL MEET YOU OUT FRONT.
136
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,292
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME?
137
00:06:33,292 --> 00:06:35,794
OH, WE POURED THAT DRIVEWAY,
KNOCKED OFF EARLY.
138
00:06:35,795 --> 00:06:37,296
OH, HEY, I GOT
THAT OLD OAKS JOB.
139
00:06:37,296 --> 00:06:38,797
I SUBCONTRACTED IT.
140
00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:41,801
OH, THAT'S
GREAT, DAN.
141
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:43,803
WELL, WISH ME LUCK.
142
00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:45,805
GOOD LUCK.
143
00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,606
WHERE YOU GOING?
144
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:49,742
WHAT?
145
00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:52,177
WHAT?!
146
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:54,747
HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITH ME
AND NOT KNOW WHERE I'M GOING?
147
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:57,249
NOW, DIDN'T WE LAY IN BED
FOR TWO HOURS LAST NIGHT
148
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,751
TALKING ABOUT HOW
IMPORTANT THIS WAS?
149
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:01,687
AND NOW YOU'RE SAYING,
"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"
150
00:07:01,687 --> 00:07:04,756
FORGIVE ME.
I'M THE WORST HUSBAND WHO EVER LIVED.
151
00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:06,825
WELL, ENOUGH ABOUT YOU.
NOW, HOW DO I LOOK?
152
00:07:06,826 --> 00:07:08,828
YOU LOOK FINE.
153
00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:11,330
COULD YOU MAYBE BE A LITTLE BIT
MORE SPECIFIC, DAN?
154
00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:12,297
I MEAN, THIS
IS REALLY IMPORTANT.
155
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,369
YOU LOOK
EXTREMELY FINE.
156
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:18,437
WOULD YOU
HIRE ME IN THIS?
157
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,941
IF I WASN'T MARRIED,
I'D HIRE YOU IN A MINUTE.
158
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:23,442
SO I LOOK CHEAP, RIGHT?
159
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,978
HELL, NO.
160
00:07:25,978 --> 00:07:27,546
I'M TALKING
TOP DOLLAR.
161
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:28,548
[CAR HORN HONKS]
162
00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:30,349
ONE SECOND!
163
00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:31,917
AAH! DON'T FLATTEN IT!
164
00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:34,420
IT TOOK ME AND JACKIE
AN HOUR TO GET IT LIKE THIS!
165
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:35,921
ROSEANNE,
WILL YOU RELAX?
166
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:37,423
EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE FINE.
167
00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:38,924
AND EVEN IF THINGS
DON'T TURN OUT,
168
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:41,427
REMEMBER, YOU'RE
STILL A 50-50 PARTNER AT FOUR ACES CONSTRUCTION,
169
00:07:41,427 --> 00:07:44,430
AND I HAVE A FEELING
SOME OF THEM DIVIDENDS ARE ABOUT TO PAY OFF.
170
00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:45,931
KNOCK IT OFF.
I GOTTA GO.
171
00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:48,367
IN THAT OUTFIT?
172
00:07:48,367 --> 00:07:49,935
IT'S OK.
IT'S A JOKE.
173
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,806
WHAT IF THEY GIVE ME
A TYPING TEST?
174
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,474
YOU KNOW HOW TO TYPE.
175
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,110
BUT I'M REALLY SLOW.
176
00:07:58,110 --> 00:08:00,178
HOW TOUGH COULD IT BE?
THEY'RE SHORT WORDS.
177
00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:03,682
STEAK, MEAT,
PRIME, CHUCK.
178
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:05,484
PORTERHOUSE.
179
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:08,588
THAT'D BE CRUEL.
180
00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:09,655
ROSEANNE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
181
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:10,656
I'M READY.
182
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:11,623
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR HAIR?
183
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:15,427
IT LOOKS A LOT BETTER.
184
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,231
DO YOU CARE
IF I JUST DRIVE MYSELF?
185
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,733
NO, HOW EVER
YOU'RE COMFORTABLE.
186
00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:22,868
WATCH MY FRONT DOOR.
THANKS.
187
00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:24,437
KNOCK 'EM DEAD,
MY LITTLE LONDON BROIL.
188
00:08:31,944 --> 00:08:33,445
COME ON IN.
189
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:36,449
HI.
I'M MURIEL JOHNSON. SIT THERE, PLEASE.
190
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,452
SORRY IT'S SO
STUFFY IN HERE.
191
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:42,121
THEY TURN OFF
THE AIR CONDITIONING ON THE WEEKEND.
192
00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:44,556
OH, I'M FINE.
WELL, I'M NOT.
193
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:46,392
I HAD OTHER THINGS
TO DO TODAY.
194
00:08:46,392 --> 00:08:47,960
WELL, WHY DON'T
YOU JUST HIRE ME,
195
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,529
AND WE'LL SKIP
THE INTERVIEW.
196
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:52,598
[DRYLY] HA HA HA.
197
00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:54,232
WELL, UH...
198
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:55,300
IF YOU WANT
MY OPINION,
199
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:56,802
YOU'RE HERE
FOR A POSITION
200
00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:59,805
THAT DOESN'T EVEN NEED
TO BE FILLED.
201
00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:03,809
WELL, GREAT.
THEN THE PRESSURE'S OFF.
202
00:09:03,809 --> 00:09:05,811
OH, NO PRESSURE.
203
00:09:05,811 --> 00:09:07,813
I LIKE YOU ALREADY.
204
00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:10,315
YOU DROVE DOWN
AN ALLEY THAT'S FORBIDDEN TO CARS,
205
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:12,785
AND YOU PARKED IN
THE FIRE LANE.
206
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,221
THE POINT IS,
YOU GOT HERE ON TIME.
207
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,424
YOU KNOW HOW
TO GET THINGS DONE.
208
00:09:18,424 --> 00:09:20,492
WELL, I'M GLAD
I IMPRESSED YOU.
209
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:22,828
LOOK, ARE THEY GONNA BE
NEEDING SOMEBODY?
210
00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:24,896
OH, NOT THEY...ME.
211
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,899
THEY'RE OFF PLAYING
GOLF OR DOING WHATEVER,
212
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:29,868
BUT I'M HERE AS USUAL,
RUNNING THEIR SHOW.
213
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:31,437
WELL, CAN I JUST ASK YOU
WHAT POSITION
214
00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:34,940
THEY NEED YOU TO HIRE
SOMEONE TO FILL?
215
00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:37,610
SECRETARY TO
MR. IVAN PITVORIS.
216
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:39,178
THE MAN DOESN'T EVEN
NEED A SECRETARY.
217
00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:41,580
HE DOESN'T
DO ANYTHING.
218
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,150
SOUNDS LIKE
A GREAT JOB.
219
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:49,155
YOU EVER THINK
YOU MIGHT BE WORKING
220
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:51,157
FOR A MAN
NAMED PITVORIS?
221
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:56,195
WELL, I HATE TO TELL YOU
THE NAME I HAD FOR MY LAST BOSS.
222
00:09:56,195 --> 00:09:57,763
BEING AS YOU'RE
UNEMPLOYED,
223
00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,898
I IMAGINE IT WAS
PRETTY GOOD.
224
00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:01,467
WELL, I QUIT THAT JOB.
225
00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:03,969
I'VE NEVER BEEN FIRED
FROM ANYTHING IN MY LIFE.
226
00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:06,472
PHIL GREEN SEEMS TO
THINK THE WORLD OF YOU.
227
00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:08,240
YEAH. PHIL'S GREAT.
228
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:09,808
PHIL'S LUCKY.
229
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:10,810
IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME,
230
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:13,145
THAT MAN WOULD STILL BE
ON THE LOADING DOCK.
231
00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:15,714
WELL, HE SURE LOVES
WORKING HERE.
232
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:19,485
I MEAN, HE GOES ON AND ON
ABOUT WHAT A GREAT PLACE THIS IS TO WORK, REALLY.
233
00:10:19,485 --> 00:10:22,020
LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING ABOUT PHIL GREEN.
234
00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:26,058
HE'S SMOOTHER
THAN A NEWBORN BABY'S BUTT.
235
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:27,559
AND THAT WIFE OF HIS.
236
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,061
SHE'S SO PERKY,
237
00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:32,064
I'D LIKE TO
DRIVE A NAIL THROUGH HER HEAD.
238
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:43,042
WELL, I SEE WHY
YOU'RE IN PERSONNEL.
239
00:10:47,046 --> 00:10:48,881
DID I OFFEND YOU?
240
00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:50,916
WELL, VONDA'S MY FRIEND.
241
00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:53,051
I DIDN'T SAY
I DIDN'T LIKE HER.
242
00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:58,857
OH, I MUST HAVE
TAKEN THAT NAIL THROUGH THE HEAD THING THE WRONG WAY.
243
00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:00,926
YOU'VE GOT
QUITE AN ATTITUDE.
244
00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:02,494
YEAH.
245
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,363
YEAH, I GUESS I DO.
246
00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:08,333
GOOD. I LIKE ATTITUDES.
SIT DOWN.
247
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:09,401
WHAT FOR? I MEAN...
248
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,904
I'M HERE INTERVIEWING
FOR A JOB THAT DOESN'T EXIST,
249
00:11:11,904 --> 00:11:14,406
AND I GET RECOMMENDED
BY SOMEBODY YOU HATE.
250
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:16,475
OBVIOUSLY, YOU'RE NOT
GONNA HIRE ME.
251
00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:18,043
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE NOT
IN PERSONNEL.
252
00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:19,678
YOU CAN'T
READ PEOPLE.
253
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,748
WELL, I CAN READ YOU,
AND YOU'RE NUTS.
254
00:11:25,251 --> 00:11:27,553
AND YOU'RE
A LOUSY INTERVIEW.
255
00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:29,888
YEAH, BUT I'M A HELL
OF A WORKER.
256
00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:31,690
THAT'S WHY
I'M HIRING YOU.
257
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,125
EXCUSE ME?
258
00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:34,960
YOU HEARD ME.
259
00:11:36,228 --> 00:11:37,362
REALLY?
260
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,997
REALLY.
CAN YOU START MONDAY?
261
00:11:38,998 --> 00:11:42,067
MURIEL...
262
00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:44,070
I LOVE YOU.
263
00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:45,404
CAN I USE YOUR PHONE?
264
00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:47,973
SURE. HELP YOURSELF.
265
00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:49,341
I'LL GO GET
YOUR PAPERWORK.
266
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:54,513
YOU GOT IT?
267
00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:56,314
FOR SURE?
268
00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:57,883
AW, BABE,
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
269
00:11:57,883 --> 00:11:59,885
NO, NO, TAKE YOUR TIME.
270
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,887
YEAH, BABY.
I LOVE YOU, TOO. BYE-BYE.
271
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:02,954
JACKIE?
272
00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:04,022
YEAH?
WHAT'S GOING ON?
273
00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:05,557
ROSEANNE GOT THE JOB.
274
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,626
SHE GOT THE JOB!
275
00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:11,963
SHE GOT THE JOB!
276
00:12:12,798 --> 00:12:14,166
WHAT'S GOING ON?
277
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:16,301
YOUR MOM GOT THE JOB.
WHAT JOB?
278
00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:18,370
THE JOB AT...
279
00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:20,372
WHERE SHE WENT
FOR THE INTERVIEW.
280
00:12:20,372 --> 00:12:23,141
THE PERSONNEL
DIRECTOR IS SHOWING HER AROUND NOW.
281
00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:25,377
YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD MAKE
YOU MOM REALLY HAPPY WHEN SHE HE GETS BACK?
282
00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:26,945
A TEMPLE
IN HER HONOR.
283
00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:29,615
BESIDES--BESIDES THAT.
284
00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:31,116
THIS PLACE IS
A MESS, RIGHT?
285
00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:32,118
BINGO.
286
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:33,119
I'LL GET DARLENE.
287
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:34,620
IS ROSEANNE EXCITED?
288
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:36,622
NOT HALF AS
EXCITED AS I AM.
289
00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:38,123
BUT SHE REALLY
NEEDED THIS JOB.
290
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:39,291
OH, YOU'RE TELLING ME.
291
00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:40,792
WE GOTTA CELEBRATE.
DEFINITELY.
292
00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:42,294
I'LL GET CRYSTAL
ON THE PHONE.
293
00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:43,295
I'LL LET HER KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON.
294
00:12:43,295 --> 00:12:45,764
WE GOT 30 MINUTES TO GET
THIS HOUSE PRESENTABLE.
295
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,501
RUB A LAMP.
296
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,936
YOUR MOM
GOT THAT JOB.
297
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,003
AWESOME!
298
00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:54,006
DOES THAT MEAN SHE NOT
GONNA BE ANNOYING PEOPLE
299
00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:55,507
ON THE PHONE ANYMORE
FOR A LIVING?
300
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,009
HER TELEPHONE
SALES DAYS ARE OVER.
301
00:12:57,009 --> 00:12:58,010
D.J.: YAY!
302
00:12:58,010 --> 00:12:59,277
NOW LET'S GET TO IT.
303
00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:00,345
AND REMEMBER,
304
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:01,847
WE'RE JUST LOOKING
FOR THE ILLUSION OF CLEAN.
305
00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:04,850
I SHOULD GET VONDA
ON THE PHONE, TOO.
306
00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:05,851
AND I'LL CALL SYLVIA.
307
00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:06,852
WE'LL GET A WHOLE
PARTY TOGETHER.
308
00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:07,853
I SHOULD GO
TO THE STORE.
309
00:13:07,853 --> 00:13:10,856
I DON'T THINK
DRIED LENTILS WILL CUT IT.
310
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:14,593
CRYSTAL? HI, IT'S JACKIE.
ARE YOU SITTING DOWN?
311
00:13:14,593 --> 00:13:17,395
NO, NO, CRYSTAL,
DON'T GO GET A CHAIR.
312
00:13:18,697 --> 00:13:22,200
ROSEANNE, I NEED
YOU TO FILL OUT THESE 3 FORMS.
313
00:13:22,201 --> 00:13:24,203
YOU CAN TAKE THE YELLOW
BOOKLET HOME WITH YOU.
314
00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:27,206
IT EXPLAINS YOUR
HEALTH BENEFITS, INSURANCE,
315
00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:28,707
AND ALL THAT OTHER
GOOD STUFF.
316
00:13:28,707 --> 00:13:30,208
GREAT.
THANKS, MURIEL.
317
00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:33,212
UH, YOU MIGHT WANT
TO COME IN A LITTLE EARLY ON MONDAY,
318
00:13:33,212 --> 00:13:36,715
JUST TO
FAMILIARIZE YOURSELF WITH THE COMPUTER.
319
00:13:36,715 --> 00:13:42,053
OH, LOOK, A MICROWAVE
WITH ITS OWN ORGAN.
320
00:13:42,054 --> 00:13:45,257
YES. WE USE
THE TANGERINE 3. IT CAN DO ANYTHING.
321
00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:49,728
WELL, GOOD. MAYBE IT CAN TEACH
ME HOW TO USE A COMPUTER.
322
00:13:49,728 --> 00:13:52,964
YOU MEAN, YOU NEVER
WORKED ON A COMPUTER AT WELLMAN?
323
00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:55,334
I WORKED
ON MY FEET AT WELLMAN.
324
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,171
BUT I CAN LEARN.
325
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:00,739
NOT IN ONE DAY
YOU CAN'T.
326
00:14:00,739 --> 00:14:03,408
I'LL COME IN EARLY
AND I'LL STAY REALLY LATE.
327
00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:04,977
ROSEANNE,
328
00:14:04,977 --> 00:14:07,512
EVERYTHING WE DO HERE
IS ON A COMPUTER.
329
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,581
I NEED SOMEBODY
TO START ON MONDAY.
330
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:12,084
I MEAN,
OUR WHOLE INVENTORY IS COMPUTERIZED.
331
00:14:12,084 --> 00:14:14,586
OUR SALES,
OUR SHIPPING.
332
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,823
DAMN, AND I SENT
EVERYBODY HOME.
333
00:14:17,823 --> 00:14:20,292
I'M SORRY.
334
00:14:20,292 --> 00:14:24,362
I SUPPOSE SEVERANCE PAY
IS OUT OF THE QUESTION.
335
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:27,866
HERE SHE COMES.
336
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,368
WHOA! OH!
WE SHOULD ALL HIDE
337
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:30,869
AND JUMP OUT AND YELL,
"SURPRISE!"
338
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:31,871
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO DO THAT.
339
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:32,872
Jackie: GO FOR IT.
340
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,373
WELL, I'M NOT GONNA BE
THE ONLY ONE.
341
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:35,374
HEY, VONDA AND PHIL,
WILL YOU DO IT, TOO?
342
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,375
SURE, WE'LL DO IT.
343
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:37,876
HOW ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE?
344
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,279
DAN? DAN?
345
00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:41,647
YOU HAVE MY WORD.
346
00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:43,048
YOU THINK WE SHOULD
HAVE A SIGNAL?
347
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:45,116
HOW ABOUT, UH, WHEN
SHE OPENS THE DOOR?
348
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:46,118
PERFECT.
349
00:14:47,786 --> 00:14:48,853
WHAT'S TAKING HER
SO LONG?
350
00:14:48,854 --> 00:14:50,856
SHE CAN'T GET YOUR
CAR DOOR CLOSED.
351
00:14:50,856 --> 00:14:52,357
NOW SHE'S GOT IT.
352
00:14:52,358 --> 00:14:53,859
NOW SHE'S KICKING HELL
OUT OF YOUR CAR.
353
00:14:53,859 --> 00:14:54,860
WHAT?!
354
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,862
OH! HERE SHE COMES.
EVERYBODY GET READY.
355
00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:58,363
DARLENE! DARLENE!
TURN OFF THE TV!
356
00:14:58,364 --> 00:14:59,865
GET THE LIGHTS! GO!
357
00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:01,867
NO, DAN!
358
00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:02,868
VONDA,
YOU AND PHIL ARE DOING IT WITH ME, RIGHT?.
359
00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:04,870
SHH!
360
00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:08,573
SURPRISE!
361
00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:11,443
HI, CRYSTAL.
362
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:14,980
HIP HIP!
363
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,181
HOORAY!
HOORAY!
364
00:15:16,181 --> 00:15:17,048
HIP HIP!
365
00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:18,250
HOORAY!
HOORAY!
366
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:19,384
HIP HIP!
367
00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:20,586
HOORAY!
HOORAY!
368
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,154
CONGRATULATIONS, BABE!
369
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:25,157
OH, WE GOT TO TALK.
370
00:15:25,157 --> 00:15:28,660
IN HONOR
OF YOUR NEW JOB,
371
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:32,965
YOUR TELEPHONE
MAGAZINE SALES BOOK....
372
00:15:35,801 --> 00:15:37,803
I WISH YOU
HADN'T DONE THAT, DAN.
373
00:15:37,803 --> 00:15:39,938
HA HA! NICE GOING, SIS.
374
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:44,944
All: ROSIE! ROSIE!
ROSIE! ROSIE! ROSIE!
375
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,512
I HOPE I NEVER
GET OLD.
376
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:48,480
YOU ALREADY ARE.
377
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:49,547
All: ROSIE! ROSIE!
378
00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:52,417
OK, OK, OK.
I WANNA MAKE A SPEECH.
379
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:54,720
THIS OUGHT
TO BE GOOD.
380
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,289
ROSIE, I JUST WANNA SAY
THAT IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR YOU,
381
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:58,957
I WOULDN'T HAVE
NEVER QUIT WELLMAN.
382
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,894
BUT NOW ME AND EMILIO,
WE HAVE OUR OWN LITTLE BUSINESS,
383
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:03,762
AND WE'RE ALL DOING GREAT.
384
00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:05,263
AND WE OWE IT
ALL TO YOU.
385
00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:08,400
I ONLY WISH THERE WAS A WAY
FOR US TO THANK YOU.
386
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:12,537
WELL, MAYBE PUTTING ME
ON THE PAYROLL MIGHT BE A NICE GESTURE.
387
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:16,909
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
388
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:19,978
JUANITA, HE'S
DOING IT AGAIN.
389
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,814
BABY, YOU'RE
A REAL HERO.
390
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,784
I DIDN'T GET THE JOB.
391
00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:27,285
WHAT?
392
00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:28,854
YOU HEARD ME.
393
00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:34,360
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
YOU DIDN'T GET THE JOB?
394
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:35,361
ROSEANNE,
YOU WANT A BEER?
395
00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:37,162
NOT NOW, CRYSTAL.
396
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:38,730
I MEAN I DIDN'T
GET THE JOB.
397
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,433
YOU OUGHT TO BE USED
TO HEARING THAT BY NOW.
398
00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:42,500
SO, YOU WANT ME TO GET
THE BARBECUE STARTED,
399
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:43,502
PUT ON HAMBURGERS,
HOT DOGS?
400
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:45,504
NO.
NO.
401
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:46,872
IS SOMETHING WRONG?
402
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:51,743
I DIDN'T GET THE JOB.
403
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:52,811
WHAT HAPPENED?
404
00:16:52,811 --> 00:16:56,214
OH, I DON'T WANT
TO TALK ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW.
405
00:16:56,215 --> 00:17:00,118
PHIL, I'D JUST LIKE
TO THANK YOU FOR PUTTING IN A GOOD WORD.
406
00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:01,186
TOO BAD I'LL BE IN
THE WAREHOUSE.
407
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,187
I WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE
THAT MUCH OF YOU.
408
00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,489
DID MURIEL SAY WHEN
YOUR LUNCH HOUR IS?
409
00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:08,227
OH, I THINK IT'S
PRETTY FLEXIBLE.
410
00:17:08,227 --> 00:17:10,295
YOU KNOW, IF IT HADN'T
BEEN FOR PHIL
411
00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:12,297
PUTTING IN A GOOD WORD
WITH MR. GARVIN,
412
00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:14,799
MURIEL WOULD STILL BE
ON THE LOADING DOCK...
413
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,803
WHERE SHE BELONGS.
414
00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:20,305
OH, NOT NOW, JACKIE.
415
00:17:20,305 --> 00:17:21,806
SO YOU DIDN'T GET
THIS JOB.
416
00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:23,308
THE RIGHT JOB
WILL COME ALONG.
417
00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:24,809
THIS WAS THE RIGHT JOB.
418
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:26,311
WELL, THEN YOU'LL GET
ANOTHER JOB.
419
00:17:26,311 --> 00:17:28,112
NO, I WANTED THIS JOB.
420
00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:29,681
ROSEANNE,
421
00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:32,917
YOU BEING OUT OF WORK
RIGHT NOW IS NOT THAT BIG A DEAL.
422
00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:34,419
MOM, DO WE HAVE
ANY MORE CHIPS?
423
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:35,721
THEY'RE IN
THE CUPBOARD.
424
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,055
WHICH CUPBOARD?
425
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,124
THE ONE WITH THE CHIPS.
426
00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:42,227
LOOK, MY BEING
OUT OF WORK RIGHT NOW
427
00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:43,228
IS A BIG DEAL, DAN.
428
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,530
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN
OUT OF WORK FOR 4 MONTHS.
429
00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:47,099
ROSEANNE,
YOU GOT A MINUTE?
430
00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:48,600
YOU KNOW,
I READ YOUR HOROSCOPE TODAY--
431
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,101
NOT NOW, CRYSTAL.
432
00:17:50,102 --> 00:17:52,604
JOE, YOU REMEMBER
ROSIE.
433
00:17:52,604 --> 00:17:53,605
SURE.
434
00:17:53,605 --> 00:17:55,607
HOW YOU DOING,
ROSIE?
435
00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:57,108
HI, JOE.
436
00:17:57,109 --> 00:17:59,111
WHERE'S
THE CAKE?
437
00:17:59,111 --> 00:18:00,612
I'LL GO CHECK.
438
00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:01,613
SO TELL ME,
439
00:18:01,613 --> 00:18:03,615
HOW OLD ARE YOU
TODAY, ROSIE?
440
00:18:03,615 --> 00:18:04,616
JOE, I'M 35 TODAY.
441
00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:06,618
AH...
442
00:18:06,618 --> 00:18:09,120
I'M SORRY
WE DIDN'T BRING A GIFT.
443
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:12,557
THAT'S OK, JOE.
I APPRECIATE YOU COMING.
444
00:18:12,558 --> 00:18:14,126
ROSEANNE...
445
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:15,627
YOU WANT ME TO GET RID
OF ALL THESE PEOPLE?
446
00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:17,128
I COULD DO THAT.
447
00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:21,133
ROSEANNE, I JUST HEARD.
448
00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:24,136
YOU KNOW, IF IT
WASN'T FOR YOU, I WOULD--
449
00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:27,139
HOLD ON THERE, CRYSTAL.
450
00:18:27,139 --> 00:18:28,640
I'M SORRY.
451
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,141
BUT I WOULDN'T BE
MY OWN BOSS
452
00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:31,643
WITH MY OWN HOURS,
453
00:18:31,643 --> 00:18:33,144
AND THE SATISFACTION
THAT COMES
454
00:18:33,145 --> 00:18:35,647
FROM MAKING
MY CUSTOMERS FEEL MORE BEAUTIFUL
455
00:18:35,647 --> 00:18:39,651
AND CONFIDENT
WITH THEIR CINDY-LOU COSMETICS.
456
00:18:39,651 --> 00:18:42,320
AND I OWE IT ALL
TO YOU, ROSEANNE.
457
00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:45,390
WELL, YOU'VE
MADE ME FEEL VERY UNCOMFORTABLE, CRYSTAL,
458
00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:47,392
AND I THANK YOU.
459
00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:52,297
OH! ARE YOU
GOING TO BE OK?
460
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:53,798
I THINK SO.
461
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:56,802
BUT I JUST DON'T
UNDERSTAND WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, ROSEANNE.
462
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:59,137
WHY WON'T ANYONE
HIRE YOU?
463
00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:03,441
DON'T TRY
TO CHEER ME UP, CRYSTAL.
464
00:19:03,442 --> 00:19:04,943
ROSEANNE,
WE GOT TO GO,
465
00:19:04,943 --> 00:19:06,444
BUT I JUST WANT
TO THANK YOU ONE MORE TIME
466
00:19:06,445 --> 00:19:08,447
FOR GETTING
ALL OF US OUT OF THAT HELLHOLE.
467
00:19:08,447 --> 00:19:11,950
QUITTING WELLMAN
WAS THE BEST THING YOU EVER DID.
468
00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:13,451
THANKS, VONDA.
469
00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:14,453
Dan: BYE, VONDA.
470
00:19:15,454 --> 00:19:16,955
CONGRATULATING ME,
471
00:19:16,955 --> 00:19:18,957
TELLING ME
QUITTING MY JOB
472
00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:20,458
WAS THE BEST THING
I EVER DID.
473
00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:22,961
IT WAS THE STUPIDEST
THING I EVER DID.
474
00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:23,962
HOW COULD I DO THAT?
475
00:19:23,962 --> 00:19:25,730
HOW COULD
I QUIT MY JOB?
476
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:27,799
I'VE GOT 3 KIDS.
477
00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:29,801
AND SOME GUY GIVES ME
A LITTLE LIP,
478
00:19:29,801 --> 00:19:31,302
AND I TOSSED IT ALL.
479
00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:33,805
I TOSSED MY PAYCHECK,
MY BENEFITS.
480
00:19:33,805 --> 00:19:35,807
I TOSSED MY PENSION.
481
00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:36,974
I LET HIM BEAT ME.
482
00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:38,543
HE DIDN'T BEAT YOU.
483
00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:40,646
HE DID BEAT ME, DAN,
AND YOU KNOW WHY?
484
00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:42,214
BECAUSE HE HAS A JOB...
485
00:19:42,214 --> 00:19:43,215
AND YOU'VE GOT A JOB,
486
00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:44,716
AND JACKIE'S
GOT A JOB,
487
00:19:44,716 --> 00:19:46,217
VONDA'S GOT A JOB,
488
00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:48,220
AND HELL, EVEN CRYSTAL
HAS A JOB.
489
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:50,222
WHAT DO I GOT?
490
00:19:50,222 --> 00:19:52,224
I GOT ZIP!
491
00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:55,427
IT'S OK, BABY.
LEAVE IT OPEN.
492
00:19:55,427 --> 00:19:56,995
THAT'S IT, DAN.
JUST GO AHEAD AND MAKE A JOKE.
493
00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:59,430
"ROSEANNE CAN'T FIND
A JOB. HA HA HA!"
494
00:19:59,431 --> 00:20:00,832
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?
495
00:20:00,832 --> 00:20:02,733
WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME
WHAT TO DO AGAIN, DAN?
496
00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:06,271
I DIDN'T TELL YOU
TO QUIT YOUR JOB.
497
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:08,573
THE HELL YOU DIDN'T.
THE HELL I DID!
498
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:11,076
I TOLD YOU IF YOU WANTED
TO QUIT YOUR JOB,
499
00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:12,577
YOU SHOULD GO AHEAD
AND QUIT YOUR JOB.
500
00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:13,879
I WAS TRYING
TO SUPPORT YOU.
501
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:15,447
HA HA. YOU TOLD ME
TO QUIT MY JOB,
502
00:20:15,447 --> 00:20:17,415
AND NOW YOU RESENT ME
BECAUSE I DID!
503
00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:18,650
BULL. BULL. BULL.
504
00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:19,717
YOU'RE ALL THE TIME
PICKING AT ME
505
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:21,152
AND MAKING
LITTLE CRACKS!
506
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:22,220
WE ALWAYS
MAKE LITTLE CRACKS!
507
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,722
WE ALWAYS MAKE
LITTLE JOKES.
508
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:24,723
THAT'S HOW WE ARE.
509
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:28,626
THAT'S WHY WE
GET ALONG SO WELL!
510
00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:31,696
OH, WELL, IT'S JUST
SO EASY FOR YOU TO MAKE JOKES
511
00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:33,198
WHEN I'M THE ONE
THAT'S OUT OF WORK
512
00:20:33,198 --> 00:20:36,334
AND EVERYTHING'S GOING
GREAT FOR YOU.
513
00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:39,237
I'M NOT MAD AT YOU
FOR QUITTING YOUR JOB.
514
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,739
YOU'RE MAD AT YOU FOR
QUITTING YOUR JOB.
515
00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:41,740
I'M MAD AT ME FOR
QUITTING MY JOB?
516
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:42,741
AND YOU'RE TAKING IT
OUT ON ME
517
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:43,742
BECAUSE YOU THINK YOUR
FAMILY LET YOU DOWN,
518
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:44,743
AND I'M SICK OF IT!
519
00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:46,244
SO I QUIT!
520
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:48,747
AND YOU THINK I'M MAD
BECAUSE I QUIT?!
521
00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:50,749
YEAH, I'M MAD
THAT I QUIT--
522
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:54,419
AND WHERE DID
EVERYBODY GO?
523
00:20:58,557 --> 00:21:00,458
I'M SORRY.
524
00:21:00,459 --> 00:21:02,527
I DID LET MY FAMILY DOWN,
525
00:21:02,527 --> 00:21:04,529
AND YOU KNOW IT
AND I KNOW IT.
526
00:21:04,529 --> 00:21:09,834
[SIGHS] THAT HURTS.
IT HURTS REAL BAD, DAN.
527
00:21:34,526 --> 00:21:35,527
HEY.
528
00:21:35,527 --> 00:21:37,529
WHAT?
529
00:21:37,529 --> 00:21:39,531
GET A JOB.
[LAUGHS]
530
00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:50,542
WHERE'S MY
HISTORY BOOK?
531
00:21:50,542 --> 00:21:52,043
IT'S UNDERNEATH
THE KING'S NEWSPAPER.
532
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:55,047
DARLENE,
GET IT DOWN HERE!
533
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:56,548
BYE, MOM. BYE, DAD.
534
00:21:56,548 --> 00:21:58,216
HEY, I GOT ONE
MORE PANCAKE.
535
00:21:58,216 --> 00:22:00,318
I WANT FRENCH TOAST.
536
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,254
WELL, YOU'D BETTER
MOVE TO EUROPE.
537
00:22:04,089 --> 00:22:05,590
WHAT ABOUT
YOUR BREAKFAST?
538
00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:07,091
I'LL EAT IT
ON THE BUS.
539
00:22:07,092 --> 00:22:08,093
I'M GONE.
540
00:22:08,093 --> 00:22:09,594
I'LL TALK TO YOU
LATER, BABY.
541
00:22:09,594 --> 00:22:11,095
HEY, YOU FORGOT
SOMETHING.
542
00:22:11,096 --> 00:22:12,597
[CHUCKLES]
543
00:22:14,099 --> 00:22:16,601
I MEANT
YOUR LUNCH.
544
00:22:19,104 --> 00:22:20,105
BYE.
545
00:22:20,105 --> 00:22:21,606
BYE, MOM.
546
00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:33,452
GOOD MORNING.
THIS IS ROSEANNE
547
00:22:33,452 --> 00:22:35,020
FROM THE MAGAZINE
DISCOUNT HOUSE,
548
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:37,022
AND SINCE YOU'RE
A PREFERRED CUSTOMER...
549
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:40,025
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--
37805
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