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1
00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,316
I mean, it would be amazing,
wouldn't it? If it was possible.
2
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:09,191
I mean, just...
3
00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,629
I'm talking five feet off the ground,
you know, just...
4
00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:20,751
Oi, are you listening to me,
Naomi? This is serious.
5
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:22,916
This idea could change lives.
6
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:26,316
Please, just let me wake up normally
for once.
7
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,909
Oh, she hasn't been listening to a word,
has she?
8
00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,349
- Selfish girl.
- I have.
9
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,356
What have I been saying, then?
10
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:37,119
You've been wondering about
whether a man will ever be able
11
00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:39,628
- to fart himself into the air.
- Thank you.
12
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:43,639
I mean, obviously, it's not that simple,
we have to modify the bowel, but...
13
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,433
Yes... I'm talking about
a human hovercraft.
14
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,399
I think it is possible.
15
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:52,835
Yeah!
16
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,519
I got some lift from that,
that's just from one apple.
17
00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,550
Still no bulb.
18
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:00,919
Oh, my God!
19
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,235
I could guff aid to Africa.
20
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:10,272
Oh, dear...
21
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,833
look who's here.
22
00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:25,469
A song, of course.
23
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,558
Dan!
24
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,879
Oh, good. Well, this is a first.
25
00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,309
I've lost my trousers.
26
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:57,999
Who loses the trousers
they were actually wearing?
27
00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,439
How's it even possible?
28
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,790
I'm actually going to work in a shirt,
tie and fucking jogging bottoms.
29
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:05,229
I look like that lad Toby
from the supermarket!
30
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:06,349
Dan.
31
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,119
Oh, here we go. Tell me how
it's weird I've only got one pair.
32
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,993
I'm sorry I'm not a trouser tycoon
with a yacht made out of trousers.
33
00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:13,189
Dan, my cab's here.
34
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:17,279
- At some point today, get a new bulb.
- Yes, do you listen to me?
35
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,436
I've told you, I've ordered
a special one on the internet -
36
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:20,959
an environmentally friendly one.
37
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,558
Be patient, it's coming from Korea.
38
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,319
Dan, just buy one from a shop.
39
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:27,191
Oh...
40
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:32,234
Oh, well, I am sorry I don't hate
the planet as much as you clearly do.
41
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,236
I'll chuck our fridge in a canal, shall I?
42
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,840
Shall we get a couple of golf clubs
and go over to the Galápagos
43
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,154
and fuck a few puffins up?
44
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,239
Oh, my...
45
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:46,110
You're never going
to move out of this flat, are you?
46
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:47,878
What's wrong with this flat?
47
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,275
It's attached to your parents' house.
48
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,673
And?
49
00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,439
And your mum lets herself in
and washes your underpants.
50
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:55,959
You're a grown man.
51
00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:59,629
Do you want me to wear mucky pants?
52
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:04,471
Filling... You're just filling time.
53
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:06,714
Well, not with me, you're not.
54
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,632
I'm leaving.
55
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,153
Not leaving leaving?
56
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:16,715
It's not normal.
57
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:19,714
I'm sorry.
58
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,069
Goodbye.
59
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:25,476
Wait, I'll... I'll get a mortgage,
and we can both leave!
60
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:29,115
I can get a bulb today, but I...
I can get trousers.
61
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,355
I'll get... I'll get trousers.
62
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:48,000
Ripped By mstoll
63
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,276
It's OK, I am normal.
64
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,197
I am normal.
65
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:25,389
You!
66
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:26,429
Oh!
67
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,039
Oh!
68
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,270
Argh...!
69
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,750
You absolute dick!
70
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,677
Oh, that's nice!
71
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,199
To his own father?!
72
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:17,596
You've broken my bloody car seat.
You have got to stop attacking me.
73
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,358
They're not attacks,
74
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,550
they are expressions of love
for his little boy.
75
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,717
Well, take me fishing.
76
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:26,557
Teach me how to smoke a pipe.
77
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,431
Don't attack me dressed as a bear.
78
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:29,799
I've had a bad morning.
79
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:31,273
Has he had a little row?
80
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,109
Well, yes.
81
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:36,628
It's Naomi.
82
00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,592
Does he need a hug from the bear?
83
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,790
- Come and have a hug from the bear.
- No!
84
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:42,875
Get... off!
85
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:43,955
Get off!
86
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,275
Argh!
87
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:50,552
This is not normal.
88
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,034
This is not... normal.
89
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,394
Oi.
90
00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:15,834
Oi!
91
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,632
I was just coming to see you.
92
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,477
I can't talk now, Dan,
I'm on the wrong heels.
93
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,238
- Where are you going?
- I've got a new job.
94
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,952
Oh, fuck off!
95
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,394
I have, actually.
96
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,670
I'm doing a business relaunch.
It's my new business.
97
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,631
I help people relaunch their business.
98
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,079
Get in.
99
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:32,917
- No, I'm going to work.
- Please get in.
100
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,359
I need to talk to you.
101
00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,516
I'm not dressed for advice!
102
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,193
Are you upset?
103
00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:51,275
Well done, Taggart
104
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:53,435
It's Naomi.
105
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,391
- Who?
- My girlfriend.
106
00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,192
Oh, what's her name, that girl?
107
00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:59,310
- Naomi.
- No, the one you were seeing.
108
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:02,320
Bloody hell, Jo, you must remember her.
I've been seeing her for six years.
109
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:03,713
Oh, yeah.
110
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,432
The "baldy" one!
111
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,710
What? She's not bald.
112
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,399
She looked pretty bald to me, Daniel.
Sorry.
113
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:11,873
She's not bald, Jo.
114
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,632
- She's left me.
- Oh, well. Get another?
115
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:18,352
That simple, yeah?
116
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:19,435
Or darts.
117
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,153
You see, why did I come to you
for emotional advice?
118
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,873
I may as well have held
a meowing cat up to my balls.
119
00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:28,356
Oh, I see. Looks like we're going
to have to sing this one out.
120
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,277
I don't think it'll help this time.
121
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,959
- Oi!
- Can I get the five-egg omelette?
122
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,479
Wait!
123
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,555
We could sing Chiquitita.
124
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:58,953
I'm not Chiquitita sad.
125
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,513
Good.
126
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,757
Cos you'll meet someone else, Dan.
There's someone for everyone.
127
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:06,159
Look at me.
128
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,318
You've been single since college.
129
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,157
Have I?
130
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,315
Yeah.
131
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,915
- I'm late for my new job.
- Hang on, I'll give you a lift.
132
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,474
I've got to see my accountant anyway,
I'm getting a mortgage.
133
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:22,069
- Who's giving you a mortgage?
- Who's given you a fucking job?
134
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,835
Erm... Why are you getting out?
135
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,075
- This is where my new job is.
- Eh?
136
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,917
And here's my new boss now.
137
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,552
- Brian?
- God.
138
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,716
- My new boss.
- Oh, I see.
139
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,113
I'm not really your boss.
140
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,833
- I knew you wouldn't have a real job.
- I have. Tell him, Brian.
141
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,154
I can't cope with you both of you,
not this early.
142
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,077
- I've had some amazing ideas.
- What for?
143
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,839
- The relaunch.
- I need to speak to you. I'm really sad.
144
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,632
- Hang on, relaunch?
- Brian,
145
00:08:58,680 --> 00:08:59,795
you're the only one qualified to help me,
146
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,159
you're the only one
who passed his degree.
147
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,474
- What?
- That bald girl dumped him.
148
00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,988
Please, don't start saying weird stuff.
OK, I need to go in.
149
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,598
I'm serious. I need to talk to you.
150
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:07,629
Last time you said that,
151
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,558
you asked me which one of the Muppets
my wife's vagina most looked like.
152
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,795
I know. And you said Gonzo.
153
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,638
- All purple, all messy thick tufts...
- I did not.
154
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:16,396
- Gonzo's blue.
- Please.
155
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:17,589
- Is he blue?
- Dan!
156
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,870
Mate, it's an emergency -
your mate needs you.
157
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:21,558
Brian, you're not going to regret this.
158
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,114
The rebrand starts right now.
I think I could treble your clients.
159
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,355
We'll talk about this
when she's doing your relaunch.
160
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,515
She's not doing a relaunch!
161
00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:28,549
- I am!
- You're not!
162
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,397
You're tidying. I said I would pay you
to do some tidying.
163
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,032
It's kind of a relaunch, though.
164
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,672
- Erm...
- Hello?
165
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:36,439
Naomi's left me. I need your help here.
166
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,278
- What's this?
- My accounts. I need a mortgage today.
167
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,470
- A mortgage, why?
- Can I have it by the end of the day?
168
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,556
- Brian, we need to talk colours.
- Colours?
169
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,558
I could sign for it in the pub later,
because if I don't get it today...
170
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,397
- Red or green...
- Shut up!
171
00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,034
You, get in,
get the vacuum out of the cupboard.
172
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,390
You, give me that. I'll look at it later.
173
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:02,192
Well, thanks for the compassion,
Chemical Ali
174
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:28,916
Right, you've met Barbara.
175
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,837
Oh, yeah.
176
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,270
I think Barbara and I
are on the same page...
177
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:37,437
Well, the... Hoover's in the cupboard.
178
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,994
If you need anything else,
Barbara's got...
179
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,553
some petty cash.
180
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:42,828
I'll... be in my office.
181
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,314
Right, Barbara...
182
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:59,431
Let's tear this place a new arsehole.
183
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,714
Ah, Mr Davis, you've arrived.
184
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,239
Emma...
185
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:10,633
you look nice.
186
00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:13,638
You don't. Are they having a sale on
at Sports Direct?
187
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:15,591
Yes, well...
188
00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:17,596
There's no easy way of me saying this.
I've...
189
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,791
I've lost my trousers,
and, as you'll appreciate,
190
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,717
getting a replacement
is a little difficult
191
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,194
- when you're of this height.
- Get some new trousers, Dan.
192
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,431
Right, so... work experience visits.
193
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,994
Oh, God. No, I can't do any.
194
00:11:32,040 --> 00:11:33,792
Why not?
195
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:35,068
Big drug problem.
196
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,156
You're doing one. You can choose who.
197
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,633
Peter Bell,
198
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,113
- at the pre-packed sandwich factory.
- No, I'm allergic to wheat.
199
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,196
Martha Page at Laser Quest.
200
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,470
- I've been barred.
- Jason Morrison at the tailor's.
201
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:45,589
I hate him.
202
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,073
Olivia Williams at the...
203
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,634
Ah, for fu... Hang on a minute.
Jason Morrison?
204
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:51,716
- Ginger boy, bit of a stoop.
- This...
205
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:52,954
Got a mole on his face
like a Rice Krispie.
206
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,194
Not who is he, where is he?
207
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,356
Harringey's, tailor in town.
208
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:57,913
The tailor's...
209
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,273
Yes, I'll do him, that boy.
Can I do him at lunchtime for you?
210
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:05,959
Great, I'll drop the details off.
211
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,798
- Great.
- How's... Naomi?
212
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:09,909
She's gone.
213
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,679
Oh, Mr Davis...
214
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,517
what are we going to do with you?
215
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:17,632
You could take me in this cupboard,
216
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:20,513
and we could have a go on each other
like coked-up gay teenagers.
217
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:23,279
- Yes, it's strange she left you.
- Big shock.
218
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:25,675
- Hmm.
- Big shock.
219
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:26,914
Right, coffee time, I would say.
220
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,678
I would say it was go
and teach your class time.
221
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:31,280
I know. I know that.
222
00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,151
- Are you sure about this?
- Just go.
223
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:50,634
Quiet!
224
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:52,910
Sir, why are you wearing jogging bottoms?
225
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:56,753
Right, that's better.
226
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,917
Right, we're not doing
space mission today.
227
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:05,032
And while we're on the subject,
stop painting Maurice's face green,
228
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,036
- it's bullying.
- I don't mind, sir.
229
00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,150
Shut up, you dweeb. Right.
230
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,873
Quiet reading for you today.
Sir's got admin.
231
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,315
All right, get into your space shuttles.
232
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,715
- Yes!
- I love space mission!
233
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:26,274
- All right, where were we?
- You were about to make up
234
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:29,437
a pointless lesson
off the top of your head, as usual.
235
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:30,629
Shut up, Karen!
236
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:33,913
Always ruin it!
237
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:37,589
We were on the mysterious planet
about to butcher some alien scum!
238
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,598
All right, try and stay calm today,
all right, Dennis?
239
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:41,789
What planet were we on?
240
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:43,796
Toddcarty!
241
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,432
We were on Toddcarty, yes.
242
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,869
That is a very dangerous planet.
243
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,672
Right, we'd better take off.
244
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:53,235
Oh, so we no longer need fuel
from the mine?
245
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:54,952
What mine?
246
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,752
The lizard mine!
247
00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:58,279
Oh, Christ!
248
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:01,596
All right,
we'll go to the fucking lizard mine.
249
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,915
Don't blame me if you all get eaten.
250
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,270
Yes...
251
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,832
Toddcarty.
252
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,156
On the face!
253
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,156
Rarrrgh!
254
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,636
- What is it, sir?
- Oh!
255
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,352
It's an invisibat.
256
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:26,753
A what?
257
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,109
They're the bats that guard
the lizard mine.
258
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,594
It's it like a bat that's invisible?
259
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,200
That's right, Bergerac.
260
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,992
And it's bitten me...
261
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,075
...on the face!
262
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,758
Sir, can we save you?
263
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,028
Right...
264
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,798
You'll have to boil my blood, guys...
265
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,671
- Oh, my God.
- ...with a laser...
266
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,551
...up my nose!
267
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,194
For God's sake.
268
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:49,832
I'll do it, sir.
269
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,348
Yes... you do it, Dennis.
270
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,152
I trust you.
271
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,519
Ah!
272
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,831
What on earth is going on in here?
273
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,154
Where is Mr Davis?
274
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,555
It's all right, Miss Lipsey,
I'm... I'm here.
275
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,477
He's been bitten by an invisibat, miss.
276
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,033
Has he?
277
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,479
I'm rather afraid I have.
278
00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:14,114
Yes, and against all odds,
279
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:18,119
only a laser fired up his nose
can save him, miss.
280
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:23,473
Well, they do say that's how
you neutralise invisibats' venom.
281
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,872
Thank you.
282
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,512
If you recover, Mr Davis,
283
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,994
here are the details
of your work experience visit.
284
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:30,836
Great.
285
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:35,954
Oh!
286
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:41,953
Ta-da!
287
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:47,635
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, boy, welcome to the relaunch.
288
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,989
Why have you written that on my wall?
289
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,598
It's a statement.
290
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,710
I told you to Hoover.
291
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:58,799
Well, then you should have hired
a cleaner, cos I am an events manager.
292
00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:01,832
This is insane. You're insane.
293
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,599
It tells people the moment
they walk in the door, "I'm a lawyer,
294
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,392
"I'm a lawyer
for the tough urban streets."
295
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:09,034
It tells people,
"No matter what you've done,
296
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:11,310
"I'm going to get you off."
297
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,749
I'm not a lawyer!
298
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,677
- You are.
- I'm not!
299
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:17,312
I'm a financial adviser and...
300
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,590
and you are fucking mental!
301
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:21,756
- I'm the future.
- I want that taken off.
302
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,916
You just have to get used to it -
303
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,190
it's going to turn
the whole business around.
304
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:27,753
- Oh...
- Oh, no, Mr Po...
305
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:28,789
Oh, God!
306
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,035
Terribly sorry, Mr Powell,
we've had vandals.
307
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:32,718
Please, why don't you just come
through to my office,
308
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,876
and I'll be right with you?
309
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,115
That's... Oh, teenagers!
310
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:45,075
It's so lovely to have a member of the
teaching profession in my humble shop.
311
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:48,237
You know, I've often dreamed of being
an educator myself.
312
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:49,474
Really?
313
00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:51,670
Sadly, I've the reading age
of a three-year-old child.
314
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,438
Oh.
315
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,550
I expect you want to know
how the lad's settling in.
316
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:56,715
Yeah?
317
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,832
He's a wonderful boy, Mr Davis.
318
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,154
I mean, he's useless work-wise.
319
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:07,196
He's thick and he's got what my old mum
would call spastic hands.
320
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,598
- Do you make trousers?
- Oh, we do it all.
321
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,871
Your trousers, your shirts,
your suits, your cummerbunds.
322
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:21,993
And... Well, how much would trousers be?
323
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:23,155
For yourself?
324
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,589
Oh, the cost of the material alone, sir.
325
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,393
Jason, go and get me
a tape measure.
326
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:32,115
It's the long yellow thing
with the marks on it.
327
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,673
Oh, he's a good boy.
328
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:34,994
He's normal.
329
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,749
He's not into your rubber shorts,
your plastic fist,
330
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,109
your glory holes, you know what I mean.
331
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,639
Sort of.
332
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:45,553
Not really.
333
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,990
The world is full of perverts...
334
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:53,389
...and I really hate 'em.
335
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:58,793
We'll have you sorted in no time,
Mr Davis.
336
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:07,352
You said I was about as much use
as a crow.
337
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,550
A trained crow.
338
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:13,957
A brilliant, trained crow.
339
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,150
Please don't cry.
340
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,872
What are you doing here?
341
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:21,957
I've just been to your office
to sort this mortgage nonsense out.
342
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,231
- Pubs aren't for mortgages!
- Brian sacked me.
343
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,077
- I did not.
- Really?
344
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:30,192
Thank you so much, Brian,
you're not going to regret this!
345
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:34,028
- I'm going to go to the bar.
- Please, Jo, Jo, wait. Oh, God.
346
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,197
You should never have given that a job.
Now, my mortgage.
347
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:38,559
- I need to tell her.
- Mate?
348
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:41,751
I need to sort this. I'm on the verge
of losing everything here.
349
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,236
Then let me spell this out for you
in clear terms.
350
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,510
Just tell me what I've got to do.
351
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:51,439
You need to not spend one penny,
352
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:55,109
not one single penny for... 12 years.
353
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:58,152
After which time, you might,
354
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,033
depending on fluctuations in the market,
be able to afford a house.
355
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:03,795
But...
356
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:08,951
But I need to start looking today, it's...
357
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:11,554
...it's on my plan.
358
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:16,957
I'll start looking at lenders tomorrow.
359
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,319
I got these.
360
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,430
Didn't even have to pay for them.
A man did.
361
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,311
Quack!
362
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:25,429
Let's go.
363
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:26,356
Let's get these slammers down.
364
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:27,913
- Cheers, cheers.
- Slammers?
365
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,997
I've got to be up at five with the kids.
I'm not doing getting drunk.
366
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,600
New York City!
367
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,439
Argh!
368
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,119
Oh, God.
369
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:51,075
I know, I know...
Ssh, I know, but listen...
370
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:55,352
Emma, I don't have any lessons.
All morning, I don't have any lessons.
371
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,716
I'll be there by ten, I swear it.
372
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,399
I swear it. Thank you.
373
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:03,833
Oh.
374
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,752
Sir...
375
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,519
- Not now, Paul, I'm hung over.
- It's Jason.
376
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,949
Yes!
377
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,718
Mr Harringey, any joy?
378
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,320
Mr Davis, three pairs already!
379
00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:25,635
Just pop through to the dressing room.
380
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,636
- Sir, sir...
- What?
381
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:28,715
I've been here all night,
382
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,352
- shall we call my mum?
- Well, she hasn't phoned us, son.
383
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,231
Hasn't she?
384
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:36,637
Go get the man his trousers, son!
Come on, chop chop.
385
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:37,908
We haven't got all day!
386
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,391
What the f-f-f-fuck?!
387
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,670
Is everything all right, Mr Davis?
388
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,400
It's fine. Don't come in.
389
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:56,919
Don't... don't come in.
390
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:01,995
- Oh, my good God.
- No, seriously.
391
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,759
I should have known. A nonce.
392
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:08,429
What? Oh, no, they're my mum's,
they're my mum's.
393
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:13,429
I bet they're your mum's,
you stinking tranny!
394
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:15,913
Lock the shop, Jason.
395
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,035
Oof!
396
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,629
Oof!
397
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,033
Oh!
398
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,756
Ah!
399
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:34,912
Ooh!
400
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:38,270
You filthy nancy boy!
401
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,953
- I've...
- Morning, Dan.
402
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,149
I've got trousers.
403
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:42,795
They're just at the shop,
and Brian says the mortgage'll be fine.
404
00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:43,829
He thinks it'll be fine.
405
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,269
I just need to get hold of a light bulb.
406
00:23:02,500 --> 00:23:10,500
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