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1
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I remember one time we all gathered
at my apartment to watch the Super Bowl.
2
00:00:05,107 --> 00:00:06,380
Well, not all of us.
3
00:00:06,793 --> 00:00:09,508
Welcome back
to Super Bowl XLIV in Miami.
4
00:00:10,022 --> 00:00:11,672
Get a load of that guy.
5
00:00:12,268 --> 00:00:14,279
You think that's his real number?
6
00:00:15,915 --> 00:00:18,452
- Well, that explains where Barney is.
- Dibs on his wings.
7
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:21,547
Synchro: ShalimarFox, -Titou-
8
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:31,822
www.sous-titres.eu
9
00:00:32,139 --> 00:00:33,407
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
10
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:35,743
Does anyone know
who won the Super Bowl?
11
00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:37,833
- You were there. It was the...
- I won,
12
00:00:37,958 --> 00:00:41,402
because I am now
in possession of a magic phone
13
00:00:41,527 --> 00:00:42,833
that always rings.
14
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,580
And do you know who's always
usually on the other end?
15
00:00:45,705 --> 00:00:46,579
A chick.
16
00:00:46,704 --> 00:00:48,981
So how many chicks
do I have calling me now?
17
00:00:49,106 --> 00:00:50,187
Infinity.
18
00:00:51,869 --> 00:00:53,657
- You guys remember Ranjit.
- Hello.
19
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:55,116
Ranjit, good to see you.
20
00:00:55,241 --> 00:00:57,504
I've enlisted Ranjit's services
as my personal driver
21
00:00:57,629 --> 00:01:00,194
because for the next week,
I'll be sleeping with hundreds of women,
22
00:01:00,319 --> 00:01:03,396
and I don't want to take the subway,
'cause you know, germs.
23
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:06,279
You're actually gonna hook up
with these girls that call you?
24
00:01:06,719 --> 00:01:07,758
Indubitably.
25
00:01:07,883 --> 00:01:10,611
I'm meeting the first one here.
Keep your eyes peeled for a red sweater.
26
00:01:11,048 --> 00:01:13,209
Based on her texts, she's dirty,
27
00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:15,648
dyslexic, and wants to 96 me.
28
00:01:16,106 --> 00:01:18,035
Semicolon, end parentheses.
29
00:01:18,460 --> 00:01:21,372
This ought to be good. I can only
imagine the quality of girl that...
30
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:23,749
You are the guy from the Super Bowl.
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00:01:24,741 --> 00:01:26,791
Magic phone, guys, magic phone.
32
00:01:28,733 --> 00:01:31,382
- Hey, guys, hey, Ranjit.
- How's it going?
33
00:01:32,786 --> 00:01:35,156
- That beer looks a little flat.
- It's Scotch.
34
00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:38,233
Something troubling you, kiddo?
35
00:01:39,613 --> 00:01:42,184
Don was Aunt Robin's co-host
on her morning show.
36
00:01:42,808 --> 00:01:45,437
Now, even though her show
was on so early that no one watched,
37
00:01:45,562 --> 00:01:47,606
Aunt Robin was a consummate
professional,
38
00:01:48,203 --> 00:01:49,451
but Don was not.
39
00:01:50,418 --> 00:01:52,646
But that morning,
Don had gone too far.
40
00:01:52,975 --> 00:01:56,455
Now, that's what I call having
a "woof" over your head.
41
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,376
Why is Ulee's Gold
in every crossword?
42
00:02:04,335 --> 00:02:06,239
It's me? Sorry, sorry.
43
00:02:06,864 --> 00:02:08,867
Next Sunday is Valentine's Day,
44
00:02:09,282 --> 00:02:11,377
and one lucky patient
will be receiving
45
00:02:11,502 --> 00:02:14,352
a very special chocolate heart,
a human heart.
46
00:02:15,524 --> 00:02:17,501
That reminds me.
I've been meaning to ask you.
47
00:02:17,626 --> 00:02:19,805
Do you have any,
Valentine's Day plans?
48
00:02:21,301 --> 00:02:22,591
He asked you out?
49
00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:24,984
- He asked me out.
- That's crazy.
50
00:02:25,109 --> 00:02:26,812
And they use "Ulee"
'cause of the vowels.
51
00:02:27,921 --> 00:02:29,148
What did you say?
52
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:32,359
We were on the air,
I was on the spot, so I said okay.
53
00:02:33,727 --> 00:02:37,606
Robin, you are going to marry
this guy so freaking hard.
54
00:02:37,854 --> 00:02:39,033
Right in the butt.
55
00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:41,827
What?! No, I hate Don,
56
00:02:42,166 --> 00:02:45,331
and now I can't cancel because I said
I would go out with him on the air.
57
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,449
What would your viewer think?
58
00:02:48,073 --> 00:02:51,188
You said you'd go out with him
on Valentine's? I thought we had plans.
59
00:02:51,313 --> 00:02:54,317
Getting drunk
and cleaning the apartment was a plan?
60
00:02:54,737 --> 00:02:55,867
I did not
61
00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,768
say it was a good plan.
62
00:02:59,324 --> 00:03:01,096
Guys, guys, guys, we're on me now,
63
00:03:01,266 --> 00:03:03,599
and it is getting interesting.
64
00:03:04,186 --> 00:03:06,189
Look at these texts. Read this one.
65
00:03:07,461 --> 00:03:08,593
Now, look at this one.
66
00:03:08,718 --> 00:03:11,013
Does she text
her mother with those fingers?
67
00:03:11,138 --> 00:03:13,441
Now, look at this one.
Or this one,
68
00:03:13,774 --> 00:03:14,850
or this one.
69
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,936
Buddy, how about you do this?
70
00:03:18,061 --> 00:03:20,658
Go nail that girl,
then read your texts.
71
00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:22,082
I can't do that.
72
00:03:22,207 --> 00:03:24,284
I just can't hook up with a girl
73
00:03:24,409 --> 00:03:26,477
if there is a hotter girl out there
74
00:03:26,602 --> 00:03:28,749
with whom up can be hooked.
75
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,168
Isn't there always a hotter girl?
76
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:32,283
I know.
77
00:03:32,408 --> 00:03:33,838
Isn't it wonderful?
78
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,564
Go for Barney.
Cut to the chase, what's your cup size?
79
00:03:37,689 --> 00:03:38,634
Hi, Mom.
80
00:03:41,158 --> 00:03:44,348
There's always a hotter girl.
Isn't that the problem in a nutshell?
81
00:03:44,710 --> 00:03:47,856
There's too many options,
you got Internet dating, you got bars...
82
00:03:47,981 --> 00:03:50,844
Holding up your phone number
on national TV.
83
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:53,338
I never had that problem.
84
00:03:54,349 --> 00:03:57,611
When I was 18,
I had an arranged marriage,
85
00:03:57,870 --> 00:04:01,547
and I love my wife
more and more every day.
86
00:04:02,206 --> 00:04:05,710
It is true. It's, it's very rare
that two people just meet
87
00:04:05,835 --> 00:04:08,497
and fall madly in love,
like Robin and Don.
88
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,762
We're not even, like,
going out for dinner.
89
00:04:10,887 --> 00:04:12,649
We're just hanging out at his place.
90
00:04:13,625 --> 00:04:16,380
It's not like that. It's just us
and a bunch of other people.
91
00:04:18,372 --> 00:04:22,344
Wait, Robin, what exactly did
Don say when he asked you out?
92
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:25,063
I'm having some friends
for a little party. You should
93
00:04:25,188 --> 00:04:26,582
come by if you want.
94
00:04:32,371 --> 00:04:35,274
Robin, Don didn't ask you out.
95
00:04:36,290 --> 00:04:38,694
- Of course he asked me out.
- No, he didn't.
96
00:04:38,819 --> 00:04:39,987
Yes, he did.
97
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:41,821
He did.
98
00:04:41,946 --> 00:04:43,198
He did, he did!
99
00:04:44,858 --> 00:04:46,533
Well, dog my cats.
100
00:04:46,658 --> 00:04:48,787
I think I know what's going on here.
101
00:04:49,436 --> 00:04:51,332
Did you want Don to ask you out?
102
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:52,500
What?!
103
00:04:53,116 --> 00:04:55,077
No, I hate Don.
104
00:04:55,202 --> 00:04:57,571
I can't stop thinking
about how much I hate him.
105
00:04:57,696 --> 00:05:00,516
It's like, it's like all the time.
I just want to attack him
106
00:05:00,641 --> 00:05:04,018
and rip his stupid clothes off,
just spank him with his little paddle
107
00:05:04,143 --> 00:05:05,843
until his bum's all red.
108
00:05:06,203 --> 00:05:07,097
Shut up!
109
00:05:10,212 --> 00:05:13,563
See? That right there
is what free will gets you...
110
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:16,204
Constant, ego-shattering
uncertainty.
111
00:05:16,629 --> 00:05:18,901
I'm done with that.
I want what Ranjit has.
112
00:05:19,415 --> 00:05:22,368
I've spent my entire adult life
looking for the perfect woman,
113
00:05:22,704 --> 00:05:24,989
and I'm spending Valentine's Day
scrubbing the toilet.
114
00:05:25,456 --> 00:05:28,345
I need someone else
to find me that woman.
115
00:05:32,179 --> 00:05:33,784
Arranged marriage me.
116
00:05:34,739 --> 00:05:38,007
Or this one or this one or this one.
117
00:05:43,437 --> 00:05:45,627
You want us
to arrange your marriage?
118
00:05:45,805 --> 00:05:48,301
Absolutely.
There's two sides to dating, right?
119
00:05:48,426 --> 00:05:50,024
Picking and getting picked.
120
00:05:50,419 --> 00:05:51,957
Getting picked I'm good at.
121
00:05:52,316 --> 00:05:53,811
Ladies love Teddy West Side.
122
00:05:56,463 --> 00:05:59,900
You're waiting for me to comment
on your self-assigned nickname.
123
00:06:01,344 --> 00:06:02,658
Here's my comment.
124
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,327
- I love it.
- Really?
125
00:06:04,452 --> 00:06:06,462
Teddy West Side, continue.
126
00:06:06,742 --> 00:06:09,282
It's the picking I suck at.
I pick the wrong girls.
127
00:06:09,515 --> 00:06:12,469
But you're the best pickers I know.
You picked each other.
128
00:06:13,186 --> 00:06:15,615
With a slight assist
from the Wesleyan Housing Department.
129
00:06:15,740 --> 00:06:18,090
And a healthy splash
of Drakkar Noir.
130
00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:22,438
Get out there, find me a girl.
We'll double-date on Valentine's Day.
131
00:06:22,563 --> 00:06:24,715
If I like her, I will marry her...
132
00:06:25,123 --> 00:06:27,150
if she's cool with it,
and she will be...
133
00:06:27,639 --> 00:06:29,155
Cause I'll wear my nice blazer.
134
00:06:29,413 --> 00:06:31,645
I love that blazer
135
00:06:32,198 --> 00:06:33,976
almost as much as Robin loves Don.
136
00:06:34,303 --> 00:06:35,941
I do not love Don.
137
00:06:36,601 --> 00:06:37,799
Neurologically speaking,
138
00:06:37,924 --> 00:06:40,194
the part of the human brain
that makes you hate people
139
00:06:40,319 --> 00:06:42,377
is located right next
to the part of the brain
140
00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:43,985
that makes you want to jump them.
141
00:06:44,161 --> 00:06:47,614
The two responses are so similar,
it's hard to tell them apart.
142
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,998
You know what it's like?
I have to get a book.
143
00:06:50,123 --> 00:06:51,206
Give me 30 seconds!
144
00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:52,841
This is fun.
145
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:55,477
Look at this picture.
It's a rabbit.
146
00:06:55,861 --> 00:06:57,202
You can look at it for hours
147
00:06:57,327 --> 00:07:00,045
and be absolutely sure
it's a rabbit,
148
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,672
but then one day you look at it
and you realize... wait a second...
149
00:07:04,612 --> 00:07:05,712
it's a duck.
150
00:07:07,043 --> 00:07:08,135
A rabbit, a duck.
151
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:11,347
Isn't this fun?
152
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:12,596
It sure was.
153
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,387
Relationships are like that.
154
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,436
When you first met Don,
you hated him.
155
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,578
You thought, "This guy is a duck",
156
00:07:19,703 --> 00:07:21,904
but one of these days,
you're going to realize,
157
00:07:22,029 --> 00:07:23,814
"This is actually something I love.
158
00:07:23,939 --> 00:07:25,191
"He's a rabbit."
159
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,258
You got it backwards there.
160
00:07:27,444 --> 00:07:29,768
The duck is the thing you love,
161
00:07:30,346 --> 00:07:32,350
the rabbit is the thing you hate.
162
00:07:33,237 --> 00:07:35,204
I gotta agree;
ducks up, rabbits down.
163
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,521
Definitely.
Ducks are better than rabbits.
164
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,000
Ducks are...
165
00:07:40,306 --> 00:07:42,260
Rabbits are adorable!
Ducks are, like...
166
00:07:42,814 --> 00:07:44,762
Have you ever been
in a fight with a duck?
167
00:07:44,887 --> 00:07:46,381
I mean, ducks are jerks!
168
00:07:46,551 --> 00:07:48,539
This led to one of the most
intense arguments
169
00:07:48,664 --> 00:07:50,159
our group has ever had.
170
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:54,056
Duck is delicious!
Rabbit is all gamey!
171
00:07:54,225 --> 00:07:55,766
We're not talking about flavor!
172
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:56,849
Flavor counts!
173
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:01,813
Who carries around a duck's foot
for good luck! Anyone!
174
00:08:03,275 --> 00:08:05,717
You wrap yourself
in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair!
175
00:08:05,842 --> 00:08:09,420
I'll wrap myself in one
stuffed with duck feathers!
176
00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:10,697
Who's cozier?
177
00:08:12,532 --> 00:08:13,699
But who's cozier?!
178
00:08:15,003 --> 00:08:16,661
Hold on! I have to get another book!
179
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,284
Why don't we take a rabbit, a duck,
180
00:08:28,409 --> 00:08:30,676
stick 'em in a cardboard box,
and let them fight it out?!
181
00:08:30,845 --> 00:08:32,261
Because it's illegal, Ted!
182
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,220
Only if we bet on it, Marshall!
183
00:08:35,975 --> 00:08:36,975
Fine!
184
00:08:38,140 --> 00:08:39,268
I concede!
185
00:08:40,483 --> 00:08:41,483
You win!
186
00:08:42,019 --> 00:08:43,019
Say it.
187
00:08:44,028 --> 00:08:45,478
You have to say it.
188
00:08:47,131 --> 00:08:48,281
Ducks good...
189
00:08:52,172 --> 00:08:53,472
rabbits are bad.
190
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,803
Thank you. And Don is...
191
00:08:58,928 --> 00:09:01,306
And always will be... a rabbit.
192
00:09:01,550 --> 00:09:03,522
I wouldn't be so sure about that.
193
00:09:03,647 --> 00:09:05,147
Think about it. Don?
194
00:09:05,706 --> 00:09:06,761
Donald?
195
00:09:07,284 --> 00:09:08,284
Donald...
196
00:09:08,979 --> 00:09:09,756
Duck?
197
00:09:10,547 --> 00:09:12,317
And what, I wonder,
198
00:09:12,442 --> 00:09:15,373
does Donald Duck never wear?
199
00:09:15,893 --> 00:09:17,764
- Pants.
- Pants.
200
00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:21,642
Don's a duck.
201
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,131
- Can I say "lawyered"?
- I'll allow it.
202
00:09:27,121 --> 00:09:29,101
Yes, kids, sometimes
there's a fine line
203
00:09:29,226 --> 00:09:31,570
between love and hate.
Case in point:
204
00:09:32,513 --> 00:09:34,406
There is no place
I would rather be...
205
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,867
and no one I'd rather be with.
206
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,064
I should get that.
207
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,169
Go for Barney.
208
00:09:47,703 --> 00:09:50,839
I'm sort of in the middle of someone...
something right now, and I...
209
00:09:51,848 --> 00:09:53,842
You're a hot lady bullfighter?
210
00:09:54,966 --> 00:09:56,116
You gotta go.
211
00:09:57,633 --> 00:09:58,883
MacLaren's Pub.
212
00:10:06,267 --> 00:10:08,724
There is no place I would rather be
213
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,992
and no one I would rather be...
214
00:10:14,438 --> 00:10:16,475
Would you excuse me for one moment?
215
00:10:17,335 --> 00:10:18,535
Go for Barney.
216
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,162
You're a gold medalist
Japanese figure skater?
217
00:10:22,771 --> 00:10:23,997
Adios, muchacha!
218
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:32,647
No place I'd rather be,
no one I'd rather...
219
00:10:32,772 --> 00:10:34,272
For Pete's sake!
220
00:10:34,773 --> 00:10:36,343
You're a hot chick?
221
00:10:37,057 --> 00:10:38,057
Sayonara!
222
00:10:44,250 --> 00:10:45,964
I realize that you're very busy,
223
00:10:46,089 --> 00:10:47,980
so I'll just get straight
to the point.
224
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,400
Shakah!
225
00:11:01,713 --> 00:11:03,593
And that's my bad leg.
226
00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:04,931
Very bad.
227
00:11:09,096 --> 00:11:10,243
Are you okay?
228
00:11:10,782 --> 00:11:13,411
Of course.
Why wouldn't I be?
229
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,806
Go for Barney.
230
00:11:17,931 --> 00:11:20,564
Barney had been sure
that phone was something he loved,
231
00:11:20,689 --> 00:11:22,993
but now,
he realized it wasn't that at all.
232
00:11:23,118 --> 00:11:25,168
It was something else entirely.
233
00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:37,617
I'm free.
234
00:11:38,662 --> 00:11:40,307
Now this feels right.
235
00:11:40,619 --> 00:11:42,919
There is no place I would rather be.
236
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,254
And no one I would rather be...
237
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,542
What's wrong?
238
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:52,878
Did you hear that?
239
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:54,463
Hear what?
240
00:12:27,476 --> 00:12:29,533
Go for Barney.
241
00:12:30,932 --> 00:12:32,232
D cups?
Really?
242
00:12:33,245 --> 00:12:35,176
Finally Valentine's Day arrived,
243
00:12:35,301 --> 00:12:38,056
the deadline for Marshall and Lily
to find me a wife.
244
00:12:38,181 --> 00:12:40,926
An important job they had,
well, forgotten to do.
245
00:12:41,117 --> 00:12:42,969
Aren't we go
on a double date with Ted.
246
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:44,975
Ted?
No, he's not seeing anyone.
247
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:47,140
Remember he asked us to find a...
248
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,171
Want to get married?
249
00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:58,249
I don't know what kind of architect!
Houses, buildings, that kind of crap.
250
00:12:58,930 --> 00:13:01,279
Want to marry my friend Ted?
251
00:13:03,956 --> 00:13:05,402
What, you can be choosy?
252
00:13:05,527 --> 00:13:08,117
You're in a bar on Valentine's Day!
253
00:13:08,765 --> 00:13:09,955
Just real quick...
254
00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:14,779
You want to marry my friend Ted?
255
00:13:16,054 --> 00:13:18,338
Man, Ted's right.
It's tough out there.
256
00:13:18,898 --> 00:13:21,680
This is stupid.
You know what? We forgot about this.
257
00:13:21,805 --> 00:13:23,260
I'm sure Ted did, also.
258
00:13:23,554 --> 00:13:25,160
Here comes the groom,
259
00:13:25,285 --> 00:13:27,057
in his favorite blazer,
260
00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:29,455
gonna meet my wife and I...
261
00:13:30,379 --> 00:13:31,579
Blazer, Tazer.
262
00:13:31,867 --> 00:13:34,155
Gazer, Ta... Bazer?
263
00:13:35,555 --> 00:13:37,631
Before you go meet your future wife,
264
00:13:37,756 --> 00:13:40,068
why don't you come
to Don's party with me?
265
00:13:41,287 --> 00:13:42,362
You're wearing this?
266
00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:43,739
Why?
267
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:45,007
He's a duck.
268
00:13:45,180 --> 00:13:47,075
That dude be straight duckin'.
269
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:51,289
And I think that I'll amaze her.
270
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:52,372
Nailed it!
271
00:13:53,347 --> 00:13:54,992
So we went to Don's party.
272
00:13:55,117 --> 00:13:57,843
I don't want to crowd you
on your little date here,
273
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,922
- so if things start to get hot...
- They're not gonna get hot...
274
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,623
I'm just saying, if they do,
275
00:14:02,892 --> 00:14:05,680
I'll just say,
"Well, I got a dinner rez", and then...
276
00:14:05,805 --> 00:14:08,263
It's the best part.
I've been working on this for a while.
277
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:09,516
I'll duck out.
278
00:14:11,438 --> 00:14:13,015
It's not gonna happen.
279
00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:14,269
But do that.
280
00:14:21,883 --> 00:14:23,630
Well, I got a dinner rez.
281
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,034
Don, what the hell are you doing?
282
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,161
It's something called The Naked Man.
283
00:14:31,639 --> 00:14:33,469
I read about it on some guy's blog.
284
00:14:33,844 --> 00:14:34,889
I'm so stupid.
285
00:14:35,014 --> 00:14:36,750
Why did I think
it would work on you?
286
00:14:37,861 --> 00:14:39,277
'cause I would never...
287
00:14:39,402 --> 00:14:42,640
Could, like... standards,
so, you know.
288
00:14:42,765 --> 00:14:44,257
I thought this was a party.
289
00:14:44,556 --> 00:14:47,719
I said that to get you to come.
I didn't think you'd bring a date.
290
00:14:48,078 --> 00:14:50,680
Ted's not my date.
He's a friend.
291
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,682
You think
I'm some kind of playboy now.
292
00:14:56,954 --> 00:14:58,400
You could say that.
293
00:14:59,371 --> 00:15:00,816
So he's a rabbit.
294
00:15:00,984 --> 00:15:02,501
At least you know for sure.
295
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:04,326
This may hurt a little.
296
00:15:04,451 --> 00:15:07,739
I'm recycling
your old Architecture Weekly Magazines.
297
00:15:08,092 --> 00:15:09,699
- What are you doing?
- Cleaning.
298
00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:11,437
You go on your date.
299
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:13,078
Happy Valentine's Day.
300
00:15:19,236 --> 00:15:20,126
You're here.
301
00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:23,588
I've been thinking.
Maybe we should call this off.
302
00:15:24,543 --> 00:15:25,761
- We got her.
- What?
303
00:15:25,886 --> 00:15:27,389
We got her.
It's crazy.
304
00:15:27,514 --> 00:15:30,303
We were searching all week,
and then, a couple hours ago...
305
00:15:30,711 --> 00:15:31,429
Trudy?
306
00:15:31,719 --> 00:15:32,556
Married.
307
00:15:32,879 --> 00:15:34,452
- Blah, blah?
- Committed.
308
00:15:34,577 --> 00:15:36,201
- Relationship?
- Bellevue.
309
00:15:37,182 --> 00:15:38,019
Natalie?
310
00:15:38,246 --> 00:15:40,230
Ted's her least favorite person
in the world.
311
00:15:40,625 --> 00:15:42,482
Well, she's not getting any younger.
312
00:15:44,358 --> 00:15:45,485
Get rid of it!
313
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,737
- What?
- This phone is cursed.
314
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:49,333
Cursed, I tell you!
315
00:15:49,458 --> 00:15:52,201
I try to ignore it,
but it just never stops ringing!
316
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,974
It's ruining my life!
317
00:15:54,262 --> 00:15:55,370
I should get that.
318
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,326
Please!
319
00:15:57,451 --> 00:15:59,452
Let me answer it.
It could be an emergency.
320
00:15:59,577 --> 00:16:01,877
She could be trapped in a giant bra!
321
00:16:04,140 --> 00:16:06,417
Let it go... to voice mail.
322
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,808
We have to find a wife.
We're being too choosy.
323
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,810
It doesn't matter who it is.
324
00:16:23,031 --> 00:16:24,357
It's a phone girl?
325
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:25,515
I know, but no.
326
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,065
Then we met her, and Ted,
327
00:16:27,190 --> 00:16:30,640
she's a world-class violinist,
she's a gourmet cook, and...
328
00:16:31,389 --> 00:16:33,472
she can quote
every line from Caddyshack.
329
00:16:39,286 --> 00:16:42,244
"And what brings you
to this nape of the woods?"
330
00:16:42,457 --> 00:16:43,661
"Neck of the wape?"
331
00:16:43,786 --> 00:16:44,878
Why are you here?
332
00:16:47,176 --> 00:16:48,536
So we all had dinner.
333
00:16:48,661 --> 00:16:51,635
And kids, Lily ans Marshall's hard work
had paid off,
334
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,551
because that girl was terrific.
335
00:16:53,676 --> 00:16:54,554
In fact...
336
00:16:55,035 --> 00:16:57,606
But Natalia, tell Ted the problem.
337
00:16:58,286 --> 00:16:59,559
Tell him!
338
00:17:00,959 --> 00:17:03,773
Unfortunately, I'm going to have
to leave the country soon
339
00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:06,836
because my visa is about to expire.
340
00:17:06,961 --> 00:17:08,636
She needs to get married!
341
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:11,309
Federal law expressly dictates
that a foreign national
342
00:17:11,434 --> 00:17:14,643
can't maintain residency for longer
than six months without a work visa.
343
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,813
But when it came down...
344
00:17:16,938 --> 00:17:19,204
And you, sir?
The rabbit or the duck?
345
00:17:19,660 --> 00:17:20,410
What?
346
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:24,567
It's a prix-fixe menu,
we're out of steak, fish and chicken.
347
00:17:24,782 --> 00:17:26,316
So, rabbit or duck?
348
00:17:32,934 --> 00:17:34,386
Rabbit.
Sorry, guys.
349
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,517
I got to go.
350
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,450
Why would Ted order rabbit
if he was gonna run out?
351
00:17:39,869 --> 00:17:41,690
I need it back!
Where's the phone?
352
00:17:43,723 --> 00:17:44,903
I met you already.
353
00:17:45,028 --> 00:17:46,189
Where's the phone?
354
00:17:46,645 --> 00:17:47,607
It's hidden.
355
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:48,628
Where?
356
00:17:48,753 --> 00:17:50,318
Where had Lily hidden the phone?
357
00:17:50,443 --> 00:17:52,821
To answer that question,
we have to back up a little bit.
358
00:17:53,339 --> 00:17:54,597
You go on your date.
359
00:17:54,973 --> 00:17:56,366
Happy Valentine's Day.
360
00:18:07,138 --> 00:18:08,486
It's Barney's phone.
361
00:18:08,763 --> 00:18:10,350
I wonder how it got in there.
362
00:18:13,151 --> 00:18:14,467
Come on.
Big date.
363
00:18:16,843 --> 00:18:18,289
What's the harm?
364
00:18:19,553 --> 00:18:22,058
And just like that, I was hooked.
365
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:25,603
Terrific, I will see you there.
I'll be the guy in the awesome blazer.
366
00:18:27,104 --> 00:18:29,264
I think you'll know the blazer
when you see it.
367
00:18:29,705 --> 00:18:30,757
I gotta go.
368
00:18:31,662 --> 00:18:32,569
You're here.
369
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,287
So... rabbit or duck?
370
00:18:41,630 --> 00:18:42,829
Rabbit.
Sorry, guys.
371
00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:44,047
I gotta go.
372
00:18:48,892 --> 00:18:50,587
Sorry, babe.
I gotta take this.
373
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:52,297
Barney's phone.
374
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,466
- Teddy West Side speaking.
- It's my phone!
375
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,135
I am taking it back!
And I'm taking your cool nickname, too!
376
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,901
Barney West Side speaking.
377
00:18:59,026 --> 00:19:01,253
I love it so much!
It just keeps ringing.
378
00:19:01,378 --> 00:19:02,578
Give it to me.
379
00:19:12,947 --> 00:19:14,631
Being single sucks.
380
00:19:14,756 --> 00:19:16,400
It turns you into a crazy person.
381
00:19:16,525 --> 00:19:17,525
I know.
382
00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:20,700
So much running around and freaking out,
and for what?
383
00:19:21,088 --> 00:19:24,149
It's all so you can find someone
you can sit on a couch
384
00:19:24,274 --> 00:19:26,262
and put off cleaning
the bathroom with.
385
00:19:27,035 --> 00:19:29,959
The joke's on the rest of the world,
because we can do that on our own.
386
00:19:30,986 --> 00:19:31,753
Exactly.
387
00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:32,795
Exactly.
388
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:47,143
- I have to apologize...
- Just save it. Let's do the news.
389
00:19:50,087 --> 00:19:51,087
No, listen.
390
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,969
After you left the other night,
I was embarrassed.
391
00:19:54,838 --> 00:19:57,362
Not because I was naked.
I'm actually okay with my body.
392
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:58,404
Clearly.
393
00:20:00,846 --> 00:20:02,596
I got married in college.
394
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,377
I just got divorced three months ago.
I have no idea how to be single.
395
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,277
But that's not why
I was embarrassed.
396
00:20:09,588 --> 00:20:12,581
I was embarrassed about my behavior
right here at Channel...
397
00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:17,091
It starts with a one.
398
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,108
12.
399
00:20:18,774 --> 00:20:20,476
I mean, just look at your mug.
400
00:20:20,859 --> 00:20:21,594
Right.
401
00:20:22,037 --> 00:20:23,690
Well, no. You look at this mug.
402
00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:26,408
You are a tremendous news anchor.
403
00:20:26,533 --> 00:20:28,685
And you deserve a co-anchor
who gives a crap.
404
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,219
And from here on out,
405
00:20:31,757 --> 00:20:32,897
that's gonna be me.
406
00:20:33,694 --> 00:20:35,233
I'll believe that when I see it.
407
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:36,812
You'll see it right now.
408
00:20:37,979 --> 00:20:39,237
I'll go get you coffee.
409
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:45,743
You're wearing pants.
410
00:20:46,686 --> 00:20:48,136
Well, look at that.
411
00:20:52,469 --> 00:20:53,467
Duck.
29773
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