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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000 www.tvsubtitles.net 2 00:00:02,736 --> 00:00:04,509 As rough as I had it as a kid, 3 00:00:04,702 --> 00:00:07,832 even I got excited when Christmas came around. 4 00:00:08,035 --> 00:00:10,094 Chris, how do you spell "cabbage"? 5 00:00:10,309 --> 00:00:12,329 C-A-B-B-A-G-E. 6 00:00:12,665 --> 00:00:14,460 Thanks. Cabbage Patch. 7 00:00:14,870 --> 00:00:15,765 Oh, Chris! 8 00:00:15,823 --> 00:00:17,420 Look at this cool BMX bike. 9 00:00:17,666 --> 00:00:18,824 Oh, that's cool! 10 00:00:19,075 --> 00:00:21,224 Chris, what are you putting on your list? 11 00:00:21,283 --> 00:00:22,558 I'm not writing a list. 12 00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:23,938 That's for kids. 13 00:00:24,033 --> 00:00:25,583 I wasn't writing a list, 14 00:00:25,639 --> 00:00:27,208 because the only thing I wanted 15 00:00:27,238 --> 00:00:29,138 was a portable cassette player. 16 00:00:29,743 --> 00:00:32,765 Having a Walkman meant you could even listen to bad music 17 00:00:32,795 --> 00:00:34,072 and nobody had to know. 18 00:00:35,539 --> 00:00:36,807 ♪ Shout, ♪ 19 00:00:36,901 --> 00:00:38,520 ♪ let it all out... ♪ 20 00:00:38,559 --> 00:00:40,892 Unless you were dumb enough to sing along. 21 00:00:41,150 --> 00:00:43,233 ♪ ...I can do without ♪ 22 00:00:43,563 --> 00:00:44,680 ♪ Come on ♪ 23 00:00:46,152 --> 00:00:48,158 ♪ I'm talking to you, ♪ 24 00:00:48,522 --> 00:00:49,832 ♪ come on... ♪ 25 00:00:50,739 --> 00:00:52,993 I had been leaving that ad all over the house, 26 00:00:53,023 --> 00:00:55,467 so I was pretty sure my mother got the hint. 27 00:00:55,648 --> 00:00:57,259 ♪ Meet me in the playground ♪ 28 00:00:58,155 --> 00:00:59,488 ♪ At a quarter to 4:00 ♪ 29 00:01:01,865 --> 00:01:02,865 ♪ Wait till ♪ 30 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,451 ♪ everybody's long gone ♪ 31 00:01:06,874 --> 00:01:08,151 ♪ There might be some ♪ 32 00:01:08,275 --> 00:01:09,775 ♪ things we could explore ♪ 33 00:01:11,983 --> 00:01:12,979 ♪ Hey, baby, ♪ 34 00:01:12,980 --> 00:01:14,868 ♪ maybe I could walk you home... ♪ 35 00:01:17,543 --> 00:01:20,437 Since I only wanted one gift, I knew I'd get it. 36 00:01:20,486 --> 00:01:22,932 This was going to be the best Christmas ever. 37 00:01:24,188 --> 00:01:25,632 Happy Kwanza, Kunta Kinte. 38 00:01:26,590 --> 00:01:28,331 Well, maybe not ever. 39 00:01:28,599 --> 00:01:31,743 1x11 - Everybody Hates Christmas 40 00:01:31,878 --> 00:01:34,772 Transcript: Raceman - Adaptation: Sixe FOROM.COM 41 00:02:00,395 --> 00:02:02,345 - I'm getting a ColecoVision. - Wait. 42 00:02:02,346 --> 00:02:04,620 You have an Atari and you're getting a ColecoVision? 43 00:02:04,650 --> 00:02:06,522 Yeah. What are you getting? 44 00:02:06,654 --> 00:02:07,876 I'm getting a Walkman. 45 00:02:08,257 --> 00:02:09,257 No way. 46 00:02:10,307 --> 00:02:12,284 It's the only thing I've been asking for. 47 00:02:12,307 --> 00:02:14,618 Man, I would kill for one of those. You're so lucky. 48 00:02:14,619 --> 00:02:16,238 How come your dad doesn't get you one? 49 00:02:16,268 --> 00:02:17,268 Censorship-- 50 00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:20,395 he wants to makes sure he can hear the music I'm listening to. 51 00:02:20,425 --> 00:02:23,022 First rap was fun, then rap was gun. 52 00:02:23,753 --> 00:02:26,610 Let me go, you bitches. You're punks, both of you. 53 00:02:26,785 --> 00:02:30,022 West side! West side! 54 00:02:30,134 --> 00:02:32,245 Years later, Greg played some Ice Cube 55 00:02:32,288 --> 00:02:33,843 and his own father shot him. 56 00:02:34,303 --> 00:02:35,303 Class, 57 00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:38,016 since this is the season of giving, 58 00:02:38,421 --> 00:02:41,311 I'd like you all to bring in canned food items, 59 00:02:41,627 --> 00:02:44,771 so we can donate them to those less fortunate. 60 00:02:45,391 --> 00:02:46,917 It's funny how most people only think 61 00:02:46,941 --> 00:02:49,179 about feeding the needy during Christmas. 62 00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:52,753 I'm sure there's a lot of hungry people during President's Day. 63 00:02:53,003 --> 00:02:54,003 Yes, Chris? 64 00:02:54,061 --> 00:02:55,375 Do we have to bring in cans? 65 00:02:55,405 --> 00:02:57,460 Can we bring in, like, boxes of food? 66 00:02:57,707 --> 00:02:59,410 You don't have to bring anything, 67 00:02:59,486 --> 00:03:01,341 but that's very thoughtful of you. 68 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:05,115 I know this time of year must be hard for your family. 69 00:03:05,375 --> 00:03:07,555 No. We're doing fine. 70 00:03:08,131 --> 00:03:09,073 I know. 71 00:03:10,341 --> 00:03:11,292 I know. 72 00:03:11,929 --> 00:03:15,738 She made it seem like we were having a bowl of steam for dinner that night. 73 00:03:16,913 --> 00:03:18,579 Who used up all the hot water? 74 00:03:18,869 --> 00:03:20,297 It's five degrees outside. 75 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:21,637 What you trying to do, kill me? 76 00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:23,987 Chris said it was cool when he took a shower earlier. 77 00:03:24,010 --> 00:03:25,008 Oh! 78 00:03:25,334 --> 00:03:27,443 The hot water heater's probably broken again. 79 00:03:27,473 --> 00:03:28,548 You think you can fix it? 80 00:03:28,578 --> 00:03:31,538 I'm already holding it together with duct tape and hangers. 81 00:03:31,573 --> 00:03:33,557 We're just gonna have to replace it. 82 00:03:33,592 --> 00:03:35,967 Well, baby, how much to you think that's gonna cost? 83 00:03:35,997 --> 00:03:37,284 More than I got. 84 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,378 Well, will we still have enough money to but Christmas presents? 85 00:03:40,413 --> 00:03:41,728 I thought you finished shopping. 86 00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:43,678 Well, I bought a few things for Drew and Tonya, 87 00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,540 but I have got to get that Walkman for Chris. 88 00:03:45,570 --> 00:03:48,143 he's been giving me hints and clues since Thanksgiving. 89 00:03:48,173 --> 00:03:50,839 Man, these kids get too many gifts on Christmas. 90 00:03:50,928 --> 00:03:53,043 When I was a kid, instead of buying gifts, 91 00:03:53,078 --> 00:03:55,003 my father used to call the cops on Christmas 92 00:03:55,004 --> 00:03:56,622 and tell us the house got robbed. 93 00:03:56,998 --> 00:03:58,807 In order to make extra money for Christmas, 94 00:03:58,837 --> 00:04:00,409 my father would do any job. 95 00:04:00,497 --> 00:04:01,497 That'll be $30. 96 00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:03,887 He worked as a cab driver. 97 00:04:04,207 --> 00:04:05,054 That's okay. 98 00:04:05,055 --> 00:04:06,970 It was easy for him to pick up odd jobs 99 00:04:07,008 --> 00:04:08,560 for extra money when he needed it. 100 00:04:08,595 --> 00:04:09,710 Merry Christmas. 101 00:04:10,065 --> 00:04:11,187 - Lint roll, sir? - Yeah. 102 00:04:11,222 --> 00:04:13,271 He worked as a lint roller. 103 00:04:15,525 --> 00:04:16,577 Thank you. 104 00:04:17,373 --> 00:04:19,150 He even worked as an oil taster. 105 00:04:20,532 --> 00:04:21,713 This is 10-W 30. 106 00:04:22,336 --> 00:04:23,587 You need 10-W 40. 107 00:04:23,737 --> 00:04:24,998 Now that's a father. 108 00:04:27,754 --> 00:04:28,754 Drew. 109 00:04:30,305 --> 00:04:31,305 Drew. 110 00:04:32,908 --> 00:04:34,426 - Drew! - Ow! 111 00:04:34,461 --> 00:04:35,729 What'd you do that for? 112 00:04:35,816 --> 00:04:37,260 How do you spell "Malibu." 113 00:04:37,718 --> 00:04:40,120 M-A-L-I-BOO? 114 00:04:41,838 --> 00:04:43,842 Are you still writing that stupid Christmas list? 115 00:04:43,872 --> 00:04:44,872 It's not stupid. 116 00:04:45,024 --> 00:04:46,024 Yes, it is. 117 00:04:46,124 --> 00:04:48,239 Everybody knows there's no Santa Claus, Tonya. 118 00:04:48,269 --> 00:04:49,269 That's not true. 119 00:04:49,528 --> 00:04:50,905 And it's not stupid. 120 00:04:51,123 --> 00:04:52,695 - You're stupid. - You're stupid. 121 00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:53,630 You're stupid. 122 00:04:53,631 --> 00:04:55,742 Drew, stop calling your sister stupid! 123 00:04:56,210 --> 00:04:57,971 My mother had amazing hearing. 124 00:04:58,333 --> 00:05:01,666 We couldn't do anything in our house without her hearing it. 125 00:05:03,690 --> 00:05:06,634 Chris! Quit throwing cotton balls all over the place! 126 00:05:09,450 --> 00:05:11,156 Now what are y'all arguing about? 127 00:05:11,157 --> 00:05:12,006 Nothing. 128 00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:14,618 Drew said there's no such thing as Santa Claus. 129 00:05:16,071 --> 00:05:17,848 What are you talking about, boy? 130 00:05:18,122 --> 00:05:20,233 Of course there's a Santa Claus, baby. 131 00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:22,829 - Hey. What's up Drew? - Hey. 132 00:05:22,830 --> 00:05:24,602 Mama, we're having a food drive at school. 133 00:05:24,632 --> 00:05:26,186 Can I bring some canned goods? 134 00:05:26,283 --> 00:05:28,713 Okay. But don't take generic brands. 135 00:05:29,045 --> 00:05:30,132 Only store brands. 136 00:05:30,248 --> 00:05:33,684 I do not want those people thinking we can't afford to donate food. 137 00:05:33,810 --> 00:05:36,235 My mother would give away all the food we had if she 138 00:05:36,265 --> 00:05:38,542 thought it would prove we didn't need it. 139 00:05:39,227 --> 00:05:41,223 How come you say my list is stupid? 140 00:05:41,265 --> 00:05:43,890 Because, everybody knows there's no Santa Claus. 141 00:05:44,326 --> 00:05:46,381 Come here, let me show you something. 142 00:05:48,317 --> 00:05:49,456 Where are we going? 143 00:05:49,997 --> 00:05:51,652 I'm taking you to the toys. 144 00:05:51,741 --> 00:05:53,459 Santa doesn't come down the chimney. 145 00:05:53,489 --> 00:05:55,838 We don't even have a chimney, we have radiators. 146 00:05:55,910 --> 00:05:58,610 Have you ever heard of Santa Claus coming through radiators? 147 00:05:58,757 --> 00:06:02,757 But how can we have our toys already if I haven't even finished my list? 148 00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:04,496 Because. 149 00:06:05,496 --> 00:06:06,496 Hey, man. 150 00:06:06,999 --> 00:06:07,999 What you doing? 151 00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:10,667 I'm taking canned goods to school for the needy. 152 00:06:16,703 --> 00:06:18,758 Man, that's $2.89 cent worth of food. 153 00:06:18,823 --> 00:06:19,673 What you trying to do, 154 00:06:19,703 --> 00:06:21,425 feed the needy or be the needy? 155 00:06:21,455 --> 00:06:23,192 - Rochelle! - Julius! 156 00:06:27,364 --> 00:06:29,795 My parents tried not argue in front of the kids, 157 00:06:29,891 --> 00:06:31,845 so instead, they just made faces. 158 00:06:38,161 --> 00:06:39,801 They make curse out faces, too, 159 00:06:39,878 --> 00:06:41,614 but we can't show you those. 160 00:06:41,927 --> 00:06:45,559 Meanwhile, Drew was showing Tanya something no kid should see. 161 00:06:47,676 --> 00:06:48,832 See, I told you. 162 00:06:56,925 --> 00:06:58,036 Whoa! Cool! 163 00:07:03,245 --> 00:07:05,351 Tonya wasn't the only one having a bad day. 164 00:07:05,386 --> 00:07:06,736 Is there something wrong? 165 00:07:09,201 --> 00:07:10,201 Have a seat, baby. 166 00:07:10,558 --> 00:07:13,538 The last time they asked me to sit down before they told me something, 167 00:07:13,568 --> 00:07:15,012 The Jackson Five broke up. 168 00:07:15,670 --> 00:07:16,670 Hey, Chris. 169 00:07:17,328 --> 00:07:20,000 Um, baby, look, I know you've been looking forward to getting 170 00:07:20,030 --> 00:07:21,752 that new Walkman for Christmas. 171 00:07:22,081 --> 00:07:24,189 And, Chris, I've always wanted my kids 172 00:07:24,190 --> 00:07:26,912 to have a better Christmas than I had growing up. 173 00:07:26,987 --> 00:07:28,209 But the older you get, 174 00:07:28,743 --> 00:07:31,909 the more you learn about the sacrifices you have to make. 175 00:07:32,150 --> 00:07:33,150 Sacrifices? 176 00:07:34,649 --> 00:07:35,649 Uh... 177 00:07:36,654 --> 00:07:37,654 Uh... 178 00:07:38,254 --> 00:07:41,396 Like not getting a new pair of work boots so you kids can have shoes. 179 00:07:41,426 --> 00:07:44,926 Or like taking the subway to work so your wife can use the car. 180 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,515 Mom, Dad, I'm 13. 181 00:07:53,726 --> 00:07:55,770 Well, you're not getting a present for Christmas. 182 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,855 He said that like we're out of bacon. 183 00:07:59,374 --> 00:08:01,383 We got to buy a new water heater. 184 00:08:01,685 --> 00:08:04,094 Well, then, we need a plan to tell Drew and Tonya. 185 00:08:04,129 --> 00:08:05,081 Tell them what? 186 00:08:05,082 --> 00:08:06,888 That they're not getting any presents for Christmas. 187 00:08:06,912 --> 00:08:09,633 Who said they weren't getting anything for Christmas? 188 00:08:10,035 --> 00:08:12,320 Wait, they're getting stuff and I'm not? 189 00:08:13,155 --> 00:08:14,266 You're older, Chris. 190 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,299 They wouldn't understand. 191 00:08:18,258 --> 00:08:19,816 Am I gonna get anything? 192 00:08:20,415 --> 00:08:24,978 Oh, baby, you'll be able to use up all the hot water you want. 193 00:08:25,418 --> 00:08:27,306 So all I'm getting is a clean ass? 194 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:28,713 Steaming hot. 195 00:08:28,783 --> 00:08:31,989 ♪ Everybody hates Chris. ♪ 196 00:08:39,498 --> 00:08:41,470 So you're not getting anything for Christmas? 197 00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:42,500 Nope. 198 00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:44,655 Man, nothing for Christmas? 199 00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:46,945 Isn't that considered child abuse? 200 00:08:47,464 --> 00:08:48,605 Sure does feel like it. 201 00:08:48,652 --> 00:08:51,094 They're at least gonna put something in your stocking, right? 202 00:08:51,117 --> 00:08:52,478 Maybe some leftover sausage. 203 00:08:53,618 --> 00:08:55,673 There's got to be a law against this. 204 00:08:56,629 --> 00:08:58,594 Oh, Chris, look at you. 205 00:08:59,532 --> 00:09:01,420 You didn't have to bring any food. 206 00:09:01,932 --> 00:09:04,487 Sometimes I forget how strong your people are. 207 00:09:04,787 --> 00:09:06,807 What do you mean how strong my people are? 208 00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:09,550 "What do I mean how strong your people are?" 209 00:09:09,973 --> 00:09:12,087 You shall overcome someday. 210 00:09:13,046 --> 00:09:14,101 See me after class. 211 00:09:14,165 --> 00:09:15,740 I have something for you. 212 00:09:16,908 --> 00:09:17,908 Okay. 213 00:09:19,967 --> 00:09:22,081 We shall overcome 214 00:09:24,369 --> 00:09:25,644 We shall 215 00:09:26,021 --> 00:09:27,460 overcome... 216 00:09:31,143 --> 00:09:34,198 Tonya, I thought you were gonna put up the decorations. 217 00:09:34,254 --> 00:09:35,365 I don't want to now. 218 00:09:36,457 --> 00:09:37,457 Why not? 219 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,931 Because... you and Daddy lied to me. 220 00:09:42,689 --> 00:09:44,715 We lied to you? About what? 221 00:09:45,121 --> 00:09:47,565 I know there's no such thing as Santa Claus. 222 00:09:48,226 --> 00:09:50,712 When my mother heard Tonya say those words, 223 00:09:50,778 --> 00:09:53,000 it was like she wasn't her baby anymore. 224 00:09:53,207 --> 00:09:54,711 So what else to you lie to me about? 225 00:09:54,734 --> 00:09:56,783 Are you really gonna kick me out if I get pregnant? 226 00:09:56,819 --> 00:09:58,521 Is it true you ain't taking care of no baby? 227 00:09:58,545 --> 00:10:00,166 Can I really not bring a white boy home? 228 00:10:00,188 --> 00:10:01,907 Does the Foreman Grill really knock out the fat? 229 00:10:01,939 --> 00:10:03,559 Can I really get a loan with no money down? 230 00:10:03,583 --> 00:10:04,510 Are you my real mother? 231 00:10:04,540 --> 00:10:05,762 Momma, I want answers. 232 00:10:07,447 --> 00:10:10,029 Tonya, like Mommy told you, 233 00:10:10,058 --> 00:10:11,553 there is a Santa Claus. 234 00:10:12,310 --> 00:10:15,254 So how come there's a room upstairs full of presents? 235 00:10:15,958 --> 00:10:16,958 Who told you that? 236 00:10:17,210 --> 00:10:18,210 Drew showed me. 237 00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:19,518 Drew, get in here! 238 00:10:21,665 --> 00:10:22,665 Yes, Mom? 239 00:10:22,766 --> 00:10:25,043 Did you show Tonya the presents upstairs? 240 00:10:25,971 --> 00:10:26,971 Yeah. 241 00:10:27,577 --> 00:10:28,577 We need to talk. 242 00:10:30,636 --> 00:10:32,099 Uh... uh... no. 243 00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:33,801 Hold on, Momma. No, no. 244 00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:36,635 My mother talked about beating us all the time, 245 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:40,580 but the only time she ever beat us is when she said she wanted to talk. 246 00:10:40,694 --> 00:10:43,305 And she talked the hell out of Drew that night. 247 00:10:50,687 --> 00:10:53,904 Oh... well, what's all this stuff? 248 00:10:54,426 --> 00:10:55,870 I got it from my teacher. 249 00:10:56,583 --> 00:10:59,416 She thinks that we're underprivileged and starving. 250 00:10:59,930 --> 00:11:00,930 Oh, no. 251 00:11:01,084 --> 00:11:02,084 Mm-mmm. 252 00:11:02,542 --> 00:11:03,542 Absolutely not. 253 00:11:04,153 --> 00:11:08,239 I'm not going to have them people thinking that we don't have anything to eat. 254 00:11:08,369 --> 00:11:10,466 She wasn't too proud to take those olives. 255 00:11:10,478 --> 00:11:11,417 Where you going? 256 00:11:11,452 --> 00:11:13,220 I'm taking this to put some more food in it, 257 00:11:13,249 --> 00:11:15,286 'cause you're taking this back to school tomorrow. 258 00:11:15,321 --> 00:11:18,410 My mother was so upset about people thinking we needed charity, 259 00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:21,609 she almost forgot she felt guilty about not getting me a gift. 260 00:11:21,610 --> 00:11:22,776 Chris, wait a minute. 261 00:11:22,867 --> 00:11:25,410 Look... I'm sorry. 262 00:11:25,669 --> 00:11:27,724 I know all of this is not your fault. 263 00:11:27,969 --> 00:11:30,284 And I know it seems kind of crazy with me giving back 264 00:11:30,331 --> 00:11:33,742 free food when we can't even afford to buy you a Christmas gift. 265 00:11:34,197 --> 00:11:35,197 It's okay. 266 00:11:36,088 --> 00:11:39,387 After that, my mother gave me the one gift she could afford-- 267 00:11:39,504 --> 00:11:40,948 she was really nice to me! 268 00:11:42,253 --> 00:11:45,530 Who needs Christmas when all your wildest dreams come true? 269 00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,345 Chris gets the big piece. 270 00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:51,849 I got the big piece of chicken. 271 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:58,642 Merry Christmas. 272 00:12:03,292 --> 00:12:05,014 I didn't have to do any chores. 273 00:12:05,045 --> 00:12:06,377 Tonya, wash the dishes. 274 00:12:06,545 --> 00:12:08,211 I thought Chris had to do 'em. 275 00:12:08,298 --> 00:12:09,298 You thought wrong. 276 00:12:11,261 --> 00:12:12,538 I got Tonya in trouble. 277 00:12:12,604 --> 00:12:14,126 Ow! Ow! 278 00:12:14,511 --> 00:12:16,755 Mama, Tonya hit me twice. 279 00:12:19,020 --> 00:12:20,440 It felt so good, I was thinking 280 00:12:20,470 --> 00:12:23,192 what life would be like if I never got a present. 281 00:12:23,378 --> 00:12:25,191 Get up and let your brother watch TV. 282 00:12:25,221 --> 00:12:26,985 - But Mom? - But nothing! Get up. 283 00:12:29,688 --> 00:12:32,410 I wondered what I could get if the roof caved in. 284 00:12:35,575 --> 00:12:36,549 Mwa! 285 00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:41,619 Hey, Drew, can you pass me the remote? 286 00:12:41,857 --> 00:12:43,015 Yeah, right. 287 00:12:44,011 --> 00:12:45,011 Ma... 288 00:12:51,561 --> 00:12:53,569 I couldn't believe how good I had it. 289 00:12:53,570 --> 00:12:55,774 Meanwhile, Tonya didn't believe anything. 290 00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:58,260 Mama, is cornbread made of corn? 291 00:12:59,425 --> 00:13:00,425 Hmm... no. 292 00:13:00,936 --> 00:13:03,317 I think it's made of cornmeal. Why? 293 00:13:04,453 --> 00:13:05,453 Just checking. 294 00:13:05,673 --> 00:13:08,397 Why, you want Santa Claus to bring you some cornbread for Christmas? 295 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,567 Yeah, he could bring it with your Cabbage Patch Doll. 296 00:13:10,591 --> 00:13:11,988 Hey, hey. Stop it. 297 00:13:12,023 --> 00:13:13,121 Okay? Enough. 298 00:13:13,428 --> 00:13:14,761 Leave your sister alone. 299 00:13:14,783 --> 00:13:17,908 Drew, you believed in the Easter Bunny till you was about her age, and Chris, 300 00:13:17,938 --> 00:13:19,577 you damn near lost all your teeth before 301 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,761 you stopped believing in the Tooth Fairy. 302 00:13:23,993 --> 00:13:26,604 There's no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy, either? 303 00:13:27,246 --> 00:13:28,196 Uh... 304 00:13:28,197 --> 00:13:30,349 No, baby, he-he-he didn't mean that. 305 00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:32,461 Somebody better give me my teeth back. 306 00:13:32,493 --> 00:13:33,883 Baby, I didn't mean it! 307 00:13:34,354 --> 00:13:35,354 I didn't mean it! 308 00:13:35,394 --> 00:13:36,505 Julius! 309 00:13:37,133 --> 00:13:38,941 I want my teeth back! 310 00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:40,019 Baby, no... 311 00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:41,458 - Tonya! - We were joking! 312 00:13:41,493 --> 00:13:42,447 It's a joke! 313 00:13:42,506 --> 00:13:43,375 It's a... 314 00:13:44,279 --> 00:13:45,512 It's a joke! 315 00:13:47,944 --> 00:13:50,499 That's her. She said Santa can't come to our house, 316 00:13:50,590 --> 00:13:52,320 'cause all we have is space heaters. 317 00:13:52,350 --> 00:13:54,165 And Santa can't come through a space heater. 318 00:13:54,195 --> 00:13:55,970 What kind of children are you raising? 319 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,917 This girl's going around town crushing dreams. 320 00:13:57,940 --> 00:13:59,601 - I... - Is that what you want her to be? 321 00:13:59,625 --> 00:14:01,076 - A dream crusher? - No, but you...! 322 00:14:01,106 --> 00:14:02,772 That girl needs to be stopped. 323 00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:05,810 Tonya! 324 00:14:06,154 --> 00:14:07,265 It's the truth! 325 00:14:07,769 --> 00:14:11,022 Normally, my mama would smack the grease out of Tonya's hair. 326 00:14:11,023 --> 00:14:13,745 But she couldn't smack her for telling the truth. 327 00:14:13,995 --> 00:14:15,129 What's that? 328 00:14:15,179 --> 00:14:17,378 My mom made me bring all this stuff back. 329 00:14:17,379 --> 00:14:19,823 It proves that we can afford to donate food. 330 00:14:20,189 --> 00:14:22,244 Hey, look... I got something for you. 331 00:14:23,142 --> 00:14:24,142 Thanks! 332 00:14:24,289 --> 00:14:25,941 - What's this? - Open it. 333 00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:28,992 "Computer Games." 334 00:14:29,652 --> 00:14:31,503 - Who is it? - George Clinton. 335 00:14:31,766 --> 00:14:33,701 There's a song on there, "Atomic Dog", 336 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,578 I heard on the radio. It's really funny. 337 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,626 - You think I'll like it? - I don't know. 338 00:14:37,661 --> 00:14:40,292 When you finally do get your Walkman, at least you'll have a tape. 339 00:14:40,322 --> 00:14:42,710 I always liked that Greg was so optimistic. 340 00:14:42,752 --> 00:14:46,307 To this day, he still thinks Al B. Sure's gonna make a comeback. 341 00:14:50,461 --> 00:14:52,183 But if Santa Claus is not real, 342 00:14:52,716 --> 00:14:54,104 why do people make it up? 343 00:14:55,017 --> 00:14:59,089 Tonya, Santa is just a way to teach kids about the spirit of giving. 344 00:15:00,231 --> 00:15:02,297 He's just a... symbol, that's all. 345 00:15:02,731 --> 00:15:03,731 Oh. 346 00:15:05,386 --> 00:15:06,386 Tonya... 347 00:15:06,632 --> 00:15:09,689 you're a big girl, and, now that you're old enough to know 348 00:15:09,744 --> 00:15:13,983 the truth, it's your responsibility to not spoil it for other kids, okay? 349 00:15:14,349 --> 00:15:17,200 Because you want to give them something to believe in. 350 00:15:17,255 --> 00:15:18,452 Exactly. 351 00:15:19,101 --> 00:15:20,156 That's my big girl. 352 00:15:20,299 --> 00:15:21,299 Mwa! 353 00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:22,722 So, you do understand. 354 00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,508 Yeah. It's okay to lie. 355 00:15:28,211 --> 00:15:29,211 Good night, Mommy. 356 00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,935 You think explaining Santa Claus to Tonya was hard, 357 00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:34,490 you should have been there for the birds and the bees. 358 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,918 Eww... that's nasty! 359 00:15:42,431 --> 00:15:44,877 Nobody ever seems to get any sleep on Christmas Eve. 360 00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:50,844 Everybody's up for different reasons. 361 00:15:51,509 --> 00:15:52,719 What you doing, baby? 362 00:15:52,749 --> 00:15:54,360 Setting out milk and cookies. 363 00:15:55,253 --> 00:15:56,419 We talked about this. 364 00:15:56,803 --> 00:15:59,235 We did... and they're not for Santa. 365 00:15:59,764 --> 00:16:00,764 They're for you. 366 00:16:02,663 --> 00:16:03,762 Thank you, baby. 367 00:16:08,518 --> 00:16:10,315 But since I wasn't getting anything, 368 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,970 I didn't have that problem. 369 00:16:17,140 --> 00:16:20,417 On Christmas morning, I even took my time going downstairs. 370 00:16:28,261 --> 00:16:30,332 Now that Tonya knew there wasn't a Santa Claus, 371 00:16:30,362 --> 00:16:32,695 her complaints went directly to my mother. 372 00:16:32,816 --> 00:16:35,982 Mama, I wanted a Cabbage Patch Doll with long hair. 373 00:16:36,376 --> 00:16:38,598 How about you have no doll with no hair? 374 00:16:38,876 --> 00:16:39,876 Oh, thank you. 375 00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,082 Okay. 376 00:16:42,386 --> 00:16:44,219 Chris, this one is for you, baby. 377 00:16:44,290 --> 00:16:46,356 - Is it a new album? - Open it and find out. 378 00:16:47,344 --> 00:16:50,977 They were giving those away at the doctor's office I deliver papers to. 379 00:16:51,082 --> 00:16:52,676 I thought you could use it for school. 380 00:16:52,706 --> 00:16:54,474 Thanks. I will. 381 00:16:54,604 --> 00:16:56,662 Hey, Chris, what'd you get? 382 00:16:57,914 --> 00:16:58,914 A calendar. 383 00:16:59,111 --> 00:17:00,111 A calendar? 384 00:17:00,917 --> 00:17:02,417 Yeah, that's what I wanted. 385 00:17:03,373 --> 00:17:04,484 See, now, look here. 386 00:17:04,621 --> 00:17:06,794 Did you know that May is High Blood Pressure Month? 387 00:17:06,824 --> 00:17:07,824 No. 388 00:17:07,980 --> 00:17:09,247 What if you had a calendar? 389 00:17:09,277 --> 00:17:10,126 See? 390 00:17:10,127 --> 00:17:12,385 All y'all should ask for calendars next year. 391 00:17:12,386 --> 00:17:13,441 That's a good idea. 392 00:17:13,586 --> 00:17:16,469 Hey, Chris, you want to go ride my bike with me outside later? 393 00:17:16,499 --> 00:17:18,168 By "later," he meant summer. 394 00:17:18,649 --> 00:17:19,649 Yeah, sure. 395 00:17:19,957 --> 00:17:20,957 Hey, Chris... 396 00:17:21,294 --> 00:17:22,452 you can have this. 397 00:17:24,363 --> 00:17:25,363 You sure? 398 00:17:25,815 --> 00:17:26,815 Yeah. I'm sure. 399 00:17:27,264 --> 00:17:29,126 Baby, that's nice. 400 00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:31,135 That's what I thought, too. 401 00:17:32,784 --> 00:17:34,088 Yes! I won again! 402 00:17:34,281 --> 00:17:36,131 In your face! Ooh! 403 00:17:39,089 --> 00:17:40,974 What now? I don't get New Year's? 404 00:17:41,245 --> 00:17:42,090 Mwa! 405 00:17:42,091 --> 00:17:43,839 - Thank you. - For what? 406 00:17:43,899 --> 00:17:46,222 For the way you've handled not getting what you wanted. 407 00:17:46,252 --> 00:17:48,085 You've really made us proud, man. 408 00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:49,752 Drew and Tonya are kids. 409 00:17:49,753 --> 00:17:51,780 They need Christmas presents more than me. 410 00:17:51,810 --> 00:17:53,788 You know, you're really growing up, Chris. 411 00:17:53,818 --> 00:17:56,575 It's kind of nice having another man around the house. 412 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:57,576 It was weird. 413 00:17:58,026 --> 00:18:00,031 That morning with my parents felt better 414 00:18:00,032 --> 00:18:02,452 than any gift I ever got. 415 00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:03,681 Here you go. 416 00:18:04,486 --> 00:18:05,439 What's this? 417 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:06,440 Toy store coupon. 418 00:18:06,639 --> 00:18:07,639 50% off. 419 00:18:08,149 --> 00:18:09,315 It's good till March. 420 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:11,764 By the end of the day, 421 00:18:11,794 --> 00:18:14,520 it didn't even matter anymore that I didn't have a gift, 422 00:18:14,550 --> 00:18:16,219 because I had a good day. 423 00:18:16,802 --> 00:18:18,935 And right now, I'm with Mrs. Vivian Morello. 424 00:18:18,959 --> 00:18:21,344 - Hey, that's my teacher. - And what are you doing tonight? 425 00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:26,140 Every year, my students collect food for the very poorest, 426 00:18:26,510 --> 00:18:28,770 most destitute and neediest families. 427 00:18:29,769 --> 00:18:31,157 These people are so poor, 428 00:18:31,270 --> 00:18:34,190 they probably don't have anything but the clothes on their backs. 429 00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:37,053 Even though they're embarrassingly underprivileged, 430 00:18:37,076 --> 00:18:39,286 they're just too proud to ask for help. 431 00:18:40,481 --> 00:18:41,925 Too proud to ask for help. 432 00:18:42,895 --> 00:18:43,988 And they're poor. 433 00:18:44,589 --> 00:18:47,709 And tonight, we're going to give a family this basket. 434 00:18:47,792 --> 00:18:50,847 Now, who wants somebody coming to their door on TV 435 00:18:50,947 --> 00:18:52,724 talking about how poor they are? 436 00:18:53,774 --> 00:18:54,896 So exciting. 437 00:18:57,578 --> 00:18:59,499 Hmm, I'll get it. 438 00:19:00,826 --> 00:19:01,906 You got it? 439 00:19:05,575 --> 00:19:07,437 Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! 440 00:19:08,385 --> 00:19:10,259 Chris! 441 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:14,428 Everybody hates Chris... 442 00:19:14,722 --> 00:19:18,192 Transcript: Raceman Adaptation: Sixe 443 00:19:18,242 --> 00:19:22,792 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 32985

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