All language subtitles for Enlisted s01e07 Parade Duty.eng

Fall in!

At ease.

At ease.

You do not need to repeat
my commands, private.

I know, Sergeant. Just a backup
thing, in case someone didn't hear.

- He's four inches away.
- How far away is your mind?

Sorry, Sergeant Hill. How are
you gonna test our valor today?

Are we going to mow a lawn,
perhaps? Move a couch?

What if I told you we are assembling
a weapon to take on an aerial threat?

- I would not believe you.
- Nor should you.

Because we are building a scarecrow
to keep seagulls out of the dumpsters.

How is this my job now?
Can't we just close the lids?

That's not gonna work,
Sergeant Hill.

- Those gulls are really terrifying.
- I heard they stole a baby.

Raised it as
one of their own.

Taught that little baby
the ways of the gull...

- Culture, customs, art.
- That is garbage.

And you get to decide
whose culture is valid?

Sergeant Hill!

Sergeant Major wants us
in his office ASAP.

Up.

Down. Up.

- Down.
- You know what?

Drop and give me 20.
Count 'em out.

Way too excited
in three, two...

20 pushups!
Move!

Legs out, abs tight so as to more
seriously engage your core!

Just shut up and
count 'em out!

- Begin!
- How did you get all the good soldiers?

It's not the soldiers. It's the leader.
(Laughs)

You know, I was watching
your old formation. Oh, yeah?

- Mm-hmm.
- How'd I look?

From this side,
I usually get "battle strong,"

but by the time they
get over to this side,

they want to know
how I look in a tux.

Hint... Fantastic.

You might want to try an
approach that works for me,

called "giving a crap."

- You're giving me leadership advice?
- Mm-hmm.

I have leadership medals,
leadership plaques.

There was a pack
of wild dogs in kabul

that only answered to me.

Oh. I would hate
to be you right now,

with the shame you
must be feeling.

- Mm-hmm.
- Mmm.

Two, three...
Derrick, stop texting!

And, Chubowski, wake up!

I'm good.

The army is filled with troops
on heroic missions,

and then there's us.

We take care of things at home.

We are the Rear Detachment.

Yes, we're soldiers.

Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org

Sync and corrections by brayanatsix
www.addic7ed.com

Enlisted - S01E07
Parade Duty

Now, we have one of our

most important missions
this Saturday...

The seacord town parade.

Oh, my God!

Is it already time
for the parade?

- Seriously?
- Shut up.

Parades are a crucial
Rear D activity.

When our families see
a well-trained platoon march by,

it reminds them of
their soldiers overseas

and it fills them with pride.

Wow.

We get to do that?
Jill does.

- You sweep up.
- Wait, what?

Your unit's on cleanup detail.

Sweeping trash,
shoveling excrement and whatnot.

- You gotta be kidding me.
- Did I mention there were horses?

That's where most of
the excrement comes from.

Most of it? Why can't
my platoon march,

and hers shovel
"excrement and whatnot"?

- Your platoon, march?
- Yeah.

Oh, what a joke.
(Laughs)

(Laughs)
Good one, Sergeant Major.

He didn't actually make a joke.
Stop sucking up.

Suck up all you want.
It's my honor, Sergeant Major.

- Come on.
- Anyway...

I have bigger problems
than the both of you.

Your rag-tag Glee Club
is going to nationals?

These are
the shifflet brothers.

Their parents own a barbecue
restaurant off of route 301.

These hickory-smoked hellions
ruined last year's parade.

Threw firecrackers
to scare the horses.

Egged poor
junior miss seacord.

Her mama made that dress!

Apple-cheeked monsters
with a taste for chaos

and nothing to lose.

- They look adorable.
- Oh, then you're already dead.

And I was like,
"you can call me

'the fat Lisa bonet'
any time you want."

Everybody, stop what
you're doing and circle up.

Well, we weren't doing anything

and we're already in a circle,
but... whatever.

Guys, we got a big problem.

For this parade
that's coming up,

Cody's got us on freaking
cleanup detail.

(All cheering)

Awesome.

(Cheering, whooping)

Booyah!

- Score!
- Wait a second.

How is that good news?

- Why would it be bad news?
- You go first.

Well, parades suck.
Parades mean marching,

which means
marching practice all day

- in the hot Florida sun.
- Mmhmm.

It's way better to be on doody duty.
(Snorts)

- It has a nickname?
- Yes, it does.

And it makes Randy
laugh every time.

Doody duty.
(Laughs)

Please stop.
I'm trying so hard.

Even though it's humiliating,
it's really just a day off...

we just have to show up
at the parade for like an hour or two.

- Yeah, to shovel poo.
- You get to keep what you find.

This detail is rich in treasure.

- It's poo.
- And whatnot.

- I straight-up found a finger.
- I found a man-sized bird cage.

He trapped me in it.

We're soldiers!
We're not garbage-men.

Don't you want to do
something that inspires people?

- Absolutely not.
- No.

- Nope. Nope.
- No.

- I got a lot of weight on my chest.
- Hey, guys, this is ridiculous.

Sergeant Hill, I swear
you're gonna love this.

Last year, Tanisha and I
came up with this whole routine.

It's a dance piece, boo-boo.
Routines are for circus clowns.

Five, six, seven, eight.

(Mumbling)

(Whoops)

- People were laughing so hard.
- Yeah, they were laughing at you.

If they're not laughing at you,
they're laughing with you.

That doesn't mean
anything at all.

Oh, Randy, you
forgot the best part.

We get to wear
special uniforms.

(Randy laughing)

Damn! I can't
even read it.

(Chanting):
Left. Left. Left.

Left, right, left.

* Turn to the left
and hold up your hand *

* everybody wave
to the jealous man *

Shut up, stupid perfect platoon.

Cody: They look
nice, don't they?

Ah! Where did
you come from?

Best part about
only having one foot?

You only hear half of me coming.

Now, follow me.

Taking us out to lunch,
Sergeant Major?

I'm having a sit-down with
the shifflets on their turf.

You two are just here
for backup.

- They're kids.
- I'm sorry.

What's that magic land you live in
where kids aren't dicks?

Now, look, this parade
has got to go off without a hitch.

We're gonna go in there
and do some old-fashioned

Rear D community outreach.

There they are.

Kenny, Denny and Dylan.

Uh, let me just go
over my talking points.

I've dealt with Afghani
Warlords, okay?

I think I can handle this.

What's up? I'm Sergeant Hill.

Stop.

(Shutters clicking) Stop that.
Fellas. Knock it off.

Okay, anyway, my intel
tells me you're planning

on disrupting the parade this year.
I'm here to stop you.

How you gonna do that
if you're a kitty cat?

(Meows)

That's very funny.

It's a... it's a...
It's a great app, actually.

Yeah. Who's junior
miss seacord this year?

'Cause we spent the last
month filling water balloons

(whispers):
With not water.

He means pee.
So much pee.

You leave that little angel alone.
No.

Listen, fellas...
Hey, guys.

I'm Jill.

You're hot.

Yes, I am.

And you know
what else is hot?

The new barbecue place
across town, grubby's.

Grubby's sucks!
I hate grubby's!

You're so hot.

I don't know.
I mean, grubby's has been taking

a lot of business from you guys.

They have
those new fried pickles.

That doesn't count!

- Pickles are just a side!
- Can I touch your hair?

This year, instead of
wrecking the parade,

why don't you use it
to remind people that shifflet's

has the best barbecue in town.

I'm thinking a big float
with "shifflet's"

painted across the side. Or...
We could offer it to Grubby's.

What are you dummies
waiting for?!

Go make a float!

Come on! Get out! Go!

Hmm.

Sergeant Perez wins again.

Stick to doody duty,
Sergeant kitty cat.

Yeah.

Listen up! Karaoke
night going old-school!

* Turkey in the straw *

- Hey! Ho!
- * Turkey in the hay *

- * Turkey in the straw *
- Hey!

- * Turkey in the hay *
- Ho!

- * Roll 'em up and twist 'em up *
- Ho!

* A high tuc-ka-haw *

- Ho! Ho!
- Ho.

(Others groaning)

Come on.

We got to talk, guys.

I want to know where
the Turkey ends up.

DJ deer head was
spittin' rhymes, dawg.

Ck, ck!

Come on, Pete,
we're off the clock.

Guys, we're not doing
cleanup detail.

What? What did we do wrong?
What? Why?

I didn't come back
from Afghanistan

to follow a horse around
with a broom.

Sergeant, I suggest a shovel.
Broom just moves it around.

Come on, guys.

Did you really join the army
to pick up garbage?

Derrick and I joined 'cause
we wanted to be just like you.

That's not why I joined.

It is, though, subconsciously.

Nope.
Subtextually.

You have no idea what either
of those words mean.

- They mean you love Pete.
- Help.

Well, Derrick had to join
'cause he got kicked out

of three different colleges.

Three different colleges
in less than a year.

- Says it like you never did anything.
- I mean, come on, please.

My point is, you all aspired
to something greater.

I joined the army because
I wanted to serve my country.

Does that make me a hero?

No.
Yes.

History will decide that.

And I'll tell you one thing...
History is leaning yes.

And I'm not the only hero in this room.
I'm standing up here

in front of a room
full of heroes.

Randy, I don't need you up here.

Guys, this is about your pride.

No, this is about
your pride, Peter.

(Others agreeing, oohing)

We like it in Rear D.

(Others agreeing)

But you think
it's beneath you.

(Others murmuring)

Would you stop murmuring?

Continue murmuring!

(Murmuring continues)

We like it here, okay?

We don't "aspire"
to something better.

The United States army
is giving us a day off,

and if that means
a couple hours of doody duty...

- (Laughs)
- Then by God,

I, for one, am ready
to pay up.

(Others agreeing)

Randy, you remember
when we were little kids

and you got all excited
about playing the trumpet?

Yeah.
Why'd you quit?

Derrick explained
how much practice it'd be

before I was good and how the
trumpet sounds like robot farts.

Isn't that
what just happened here?

Pete's right.

No, he's not. I aspired
to something better

and you crushed
my dreams.

Dream crusher.
You crushed my dreams, Derrick.

How was that your dream?
You took trumpet for three weeks.

The best three weeks
of my life.

Actually...

Derrick does have a knack for...

Making you see the
folly in your dreams.

First day at fort McGee, huh?
How do you like it?

I love the army, dawg.

If I wasn't here,
I'd probably be in jail

with my brother, dad and grandma.
Good call.

I mean, in jail, you'd have
to wake up super early,

always wear the same clothes

and do everything some
stupid idiot tells you, right?

At least here, you don't have
to see your grandma.

I joined because I want
to see the world.

And they sent you here,

(French accent):
To fort McGee.

You must try
the duck ?�l'orange.

(Gulps)

I wouldn't even be here
if my husband

hadn't been so supportive.

He's supportive of you
being far away from him.

Marriage, right?

(Cries)

I'm gonna learn weapons systems.

No, you're not.
No, I'm not.

Why'd you join up, Chubowski?

I'm just here
to lose

those last ten pounds.

Good luck with that, man.

Chili cheese fries?

They're really good.

You're the author of my obesity.

I am sorry.

Nacho?

I suppose.

Seems to me Derrick's been
crushing all your dreams.

So I say to you,
let us reclaim our dreams.

Yes.
Let's march in that parade

like real soldiers,
not janitors.

Yes! Oh, it's not gonna be easy.
No.

We're gonna have to
practice our nuts off,

but when it gets tough...

Yeah, get in here. Get in here.

When it gets tough,

you think
about the people.

The Rear D families
as you march on by.

The little boy waving
from the sidewalk.

The veteran slowly
brushing away a tear

as he offers...

The slo-mo salute.

The slo-mo salute.

Some say it's just a myth.

Oh, it's no myth, gumble,
I can promise you that.

Now, who's with me?!

Yes!

So let's go!

(All cheer)

Let's do it! Come on!

Yep, they're already
out of breath.

Chubowski just ran
straight into traffic.

(Horn blares)

If we're gonna
march in that parade,

it's gotta be perfect. Port arms!

Forward march!

* We are Alpha company *

* We are Alpha company *

* We love to do it *

* We love to do it *

* Your left, your left *

* your other left,
your other left. *

Make an "I" with your
hand if it helps.

* Make an "I" with
your hand if it helps! *

Chubowski, there's no aiming.

Fine.

You got two choices...
Get it right or shovel poo.

Forward... march.

Every time you drop your rifle,
you owe me ten push-ups.

You can't just be good.

You gotta be parade good.

(Alllamong)

No.

It's fine. It's fine.

No aiming.
No reason to aim.

Come on. This is ridiculous.

Heave. We all heave.

God!

(Grunting)

Pete, I promise I won't
drop anything ever!

I'm so tired.

Get it together, Cindy.
You're not my father!

Hey, look, come on, Pete,
we're never gonna get it.

The parade's tomorrow.

That just means we've got
all night, dream crusher.

Right face!

Forward march!

(Knocks)

You're supposed to pick up
doody, son, not look like it.

(Boys laugh)

Sergeant kitty needs
a bath. Hilarious.

Meow. Really?

These little rascals came by

to show me pictures
of their float.

Oops, that's you using
the litter box. (Chuckles)

Oh, here it is.

Congratulations, Sergeant Perez.

You saved the parade.

Aw...

Sergeant Major Cody,
would you come with me?

We've been practicing all night.

Practicing what, being a butt?

Shut your damn mouth,
Kenny shifflet.

Platoon, attention!

Port arms!

Column of twos, march!

Oh!

Damn!

- (Panting)
- That's just in practice.

Oh!

You dragged me
out of my office to see this.

Gumble!

Mm-hmm.

They've been up all night.

He got hit by a car.

(Gasps)

(Groans)

Wow. (Sighs)

(Sputtering notes)

Randy. Stop.

You just make sure
that you troop know

the brushy part of
the broom goes down.

(Cody and Perez chuckle)

You made me believe
in myself, Sergeant Hill.

How could you!

Looks like we got ourselves
a new dream crusher.

These are actually
pretty snazzy, huh?

Oh, yeah, can't wait to
wear it to the club, Sergeant.

At ease.

Carry on.

Change of plans, Sergeant Hill.

You get to ride up
front with me.

- What? Why?
- State senator who was supposed to do it

accidentally smoked crack
and ended up playing the drums

with a "Chuck E. Cheese" band.

- Wow.
- Florida. What are you gonna do?

Anyway, they're looking for
a hero, and you fit the bill.

Or you can...
Do this.

Carry on.

What'd I tell you guys?
All about Pete.

- Well, maybe it should be.
- What?

I mean, yeah, Pete's full of
himself and cocky and looks amazing

even right when he wakes up,

but at least he tried
to make us better.

What'd you ever do?
That's right, the opposite.

Hey, easy. Hey...

All right.

Come on.

We were mad at Pete.
Let's stick with that.

You know what? Let me
save you the trouble.

Yes, I'm petty.
Yes, I'm egotistical.

No, I don't want to
shovel poo.

- And yeah, I think I'm better than you.
- You are better than us.

- You know what, just back off, Derrick.
- Wait...

Shut up, 'cause I'm about to say
something nice, and frankly,

I'm gonna need a bare minimum
of eye contact, okay?

Okay.

Look, I know I said we all
like Rear D the way it is,

but that doesn't mean that you should
stop trying to make it better.

And even though you
failed spectacularly,

it was really fun to watch,

and completely validated
everything I've been saying.

I feel like I could look
right at you for this.

Okay. Look...

You were over there...

You were over there.

Put your life on the line,

and you deserve to
take a crackhead's seat

at the front of a stupid
parade because...

You are a hero.

Like, an actual, "no one-
can-take-it-away-from-you"...

Hero.

- Thanks, brother.
- All right, get out of my face.

(Whooping)

(Band playing "Over There")

Left, left...

Hi!

What is that slop
you're doing with your hand?

I'm waving.

Be a man. Wave like a princess.

Hey.

Pay attention. Sorry.

Got your troops back there, huh?

Yeah.

When you were deployed,

what was the most
important thing?

The glory?

No. It was the people
serving next to me.

You think that's changed?

I'll cover you.

Is this a private party,
or... can anyone join?

It's not a party at all,
but you can join it.

I mean, it's a party.
It's a different type of party.

There's not invitations or rsv...

I mean, we can make it a party,
and you can be the life of it.

Fall in!

Port arms!

Mark time!

March!

Forward, platoon, march!

(Cheering)

(Cheering, whistling)

What are those idiots doing?

Forward...

March!

(Cheering, whistling)

Front...

Face!

Forward...

March!

Left, left,

Left, right, left,

Left, left...

No way.

The slo-mo salute.

Present arms!

What the hell?

Keep your crap sauce, Shifflets!

Just shut up, Tony Grubby.
You're just jealous

'cause we're on a pig float.

And you're whole Grubby family's
on the stupid ground!

Stupid float doesn't
even look like a pig!

That's funny, 'cause we
modeled it after your mom.

Ooh...!

That's it!

(Shouting, grunting)

What is happening?

(Explosion) (People screaming)

Pig fire! Pig fire!

(Neighing)

Get the pig away!

(Woman screams)

(All gasp)

My mama made this dress!

This is your fault.

(Panicked shouts, screams)

Florida.

What are you gonna do?

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