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1
00:00:01,450 --> 00:00:03,118
That's why I write down
my workout results.
2
00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:04,986
Sometimes you just need to see
the progress on paper, you know?
3
00:00:04,988 --> 00:00:07,155
No. I don't understand
voluntary exercise.
4
00:00:07,157 --> 00:00:08,490
I also don't understand why
5
00:00:08,492 --> 00:00:10,358
any live band needs
a third guitarist.
6
00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:12,861
Sometimes I feel like
we just talk at each other.
7
00:00:12,863 --> 00:00:14,162
Here's the house where
Randy volunteers.
8
00:00:14,164 --> 00:00:15,997
Buckle up.
9
00:00:15,999 --> 00:00:17,332
Votes are in, everyone.
10
00:00:17,334 --> 00:00:18,867
The soldier care packages
for your husbands
11
00:00:18,869 --> 00:00:20,835
overseas will be wrapped
12
00:00:20,837 --> 00:00:22,504
in periwinkle blue
wrapping paper! Yes!
13
00:00:22,506 --> 00:00:24,839
Nancy, I'm aware
of Ben's nut allergy.
14
00:00:24,841 --> 00:00:26,708
That's why we are nixing
peanut butter cups.
15
00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:29,344
We're going with jelly beans,
and we're not looking back.
16
00:00:29,346 --> 00:00:30,712
What is this,
an army wives club?
17
00:00:30,714 --> 00:00:32,514
They prefer "family
readiness group."
18
00:00:32,516 --> 00:00:34,182
Wow. It's not all
fun and games.
19
00:00:34,184 --> 00:00:35,683
I mean, he does do
some serious work.
20
00:00:35,685 --> 00:00:37,218
What do you guys think?
21
00:00:37,220 --> 00:00:40,855
This bow's big,
but this bow's bigger.
22
00:00:40,857 --> 00:00:42,023
I know.
23
00:00:42,025 --> 00:00:43,858
Obviously, the bigger one.
24
00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:46,861
The army is filled with troops
on heroic missions,
25
00:00:46,863 --> 00:00:49,064
and then there's us.
26
00:00:49,066 --> 00:00:51,232
We take care of things at home.
27
00:00:51,234 --> 00:00:53,268
We are the rear detachment.
28
00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:55,970
Yes, we're soldiers.
29
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,500
Enlisted 1x02
Randy Get Your Gun Original Air Date on January 17, 2014
30
00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:02,000
== Sync by ZeBlinkMaster ==
== Original Subtitles from TurkceAltyazi ==
31
00:01:03,412 --> 00:01:04,279
So then the wives club
32
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:05,580
circled up,
33
00:01:05,582 --> 00:01:07,115
and they all started
braiding each other's hair.
34
00:01:07,117 --> 00:01:09,117
Okay, that did not happen.
35
00:01:09,119 --> 00:01:10,752
It hahappened.
Mm-hmm.
36
00:01:10,754 --> 00:01:12,954
I don't appreciate
the term "wives club."
37
00:01:12,956 --> 00:01:14,422
Thank you, sergeant Perez.
38
00:01:14,424 --> 00:01:16,091
It's more like
"Randy's hug club."
39
00:01:16,093 --> 00:01:17,792
Oh!
40
00:01:17,794 --> 00:01:19,594
Okay.
41
00:01:19,596 --> 00:01:20,595
The family readiness group
42
00:01:20,597 --> 00:01:22,130
is full of great people
that support
43
00:01:22,132 --> 00:01:24,432
their families overseas
and each other at home.
44
00:01:24,434 --> 00:01:26,768
Okay, so don't just
call it Randy's...
45
00:01:26,770 --> 00:01:28,103
Gossip garden.
Cookie casa.
46
00:01:28,105 --> 00:01:29,804
Ranch house.
No, "ranch house"
47
00:01:29,806 --> 00:01:30,972
is just a type of house.
48
00:01:30,974 --> 00:01:32,474
Yeah.
- Wait a minute.
49
00:01:32,476 --> 00:01:34,309
Who is this guy?
Sergeant hill,
50
00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:35,477
it's me, private ruiz.
51
00:01:35,479 --> 00:01:37,479
I transferred from
sergeant Perez's platoon.
52
00:01:37,481 --> 00:01:39,214
You were in my platoon?
53
00:01:39,216 --> 00:01:41,316
Man, this place is cold.
54
00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:42,817
Anyway, brother, we're just
55
00:01:42,819 --> 00:01:43,985
messing with you.
56
00:01:43,987 --> 00:01:46,321
Have a beer.
57
00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:49,390
I know you guys are just busting
my b's, but no booze for me.
58
00:01:49,392 --> 00:01:51,059
Great. Tomorrow's the rear d
marksmanship test,
59
00:01:51,061 --> 00:01:52,894
and I want to be sharp.
60
00:01:57,901 --> 00:01:59,334
Dobkiss does make
a good point.
61
00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:01,069
Yeah, it's... I like it.
62
00:02:01,071 --> 00:02:02,504
I don't want to just
pass the test.
63
00:02:02,506 --> 00:02:05,673
I want to be the best soldier
rear d has ever seen.
64
00:02:05,675 --> 00:02:06,841
And that means winning
65
00:02:06,843 --> 00:02:08,510
the general Murray trophy
for top shot.
66
00:02:08,512 --> 00:02:09,677
Haven't you heard?
67
00:02:09,679 --> 00:02:11,179
I win that trophy every year.
68
00:02:11,181 --> 00:02:13,281
That is before I got here.
- I'm sorry, Pete.
69
00:02:13,283 --> 00:02:14,749
This is my year to shine.
70
00:02:14,751 --> 00:02:16,251
So let me apologize now
71
00:02:16,253 --> 00:02:18,086
for yelling "in your face!"
In your face
72
00:02:18,088 --> 00:02:19,420
when I beat you tomorrow.
73
00:02:19,422 --> 00:02:21,289
I'm not gonna mean it,
but I'm still gonna do it.
74
00:02:21,291 --> 00:02:24,125
Thanks for the heads-up, buddy.
75
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
76
00:02:34,638 --> 00:02:36,638
Give me. Give me,
give me, give me.
77
00:02:39,776 --> 00:02:40,775
Ah!
78
00:02:54,356 --> 00:02:58,359
I'm here to announce the results
of the rear d marksmanship test.
79
00:02:58,361 --> 00:03:01,329
But before we begin, uh,
dobkiss, your boots are untied.
80
00:03:01,331 --> 00:03:04,199
No, they're not.
- Gotcha.
81
00:03:04,201 --> 00:03:05,333
Well, now that we've had
82
00:03:05,335 --> 00:03:07,168
a little fun,
let's get down to business.
83
00:03:07,170 --> 00:03:10,071
The winner of the coveted
general Murray trophy.
84
00:03:11,173 --> 00:03:12,507
I wouldn't want to win that.
85
00:03:12,509 --> 00:03:14,008
He's gonna give me
night terrors.
86
00:03:14,010 --> 00:03:16,044
That statue looks like
tom cruise in vanilla sky.
87
00:03:16,046 --> 00:03:17,879
It pretty much sums up
how I feel about the army.
88
00:03:17,881 --> 00:03:18,846
That thing's sweet.
89
00:03:18,848 --> 00:03:20,682
This stunning trophy
90
00:03:20,684 --> 00:03:22,850
represents general Murray's
passion for excellence.
91
00:03:22,852 --> 00:03:24,018
Unfortunately,
92
00:03:24,020 --> 00:03:26,187
he lost half his face
93
00:03:26,189 --> 00:03:28,356
in a freak barbecue accident
in my backyard.
94
00:03:28,358 --> 00:03:31,526
This will be the first of many
times you're gonna lose to me.
95
00:03:31,528 --> 00:03:33,695
Hush. He's about
to announce your failure.
96
00:03:33,697 --> 00:03:34,862
And the winner is...
97
00:03:34,864 --> 00:03:36,397
Sergeant Jill Perez!
98
00:03:36,399 --> 00:03:39,067
Yes! Eat it, Pete!
Eat it like a big old...
99
00:03:39,069 --> 00:03:40,568
...and sergeant Pete hill!
Yeah!
100
00:03:40,570 --> 00:03:42,403
Wait. What?
101
00:03:42,405 --> 00:03:44,072
It's a tie.
A tie?
102
00:03:44,074 --> 00:03:45,240
Congratulations.
103
00:03:45,242 --> 00:03:46,407
You'll be sharing the trophy.
104
00:03:46,409 --> 00:03:48,409
You got to be kidding me.
105
00:03:48,411 --> 00:03:49,744
And now, the other results.
106
00:03:49,746 --> 00:03:51,746
When I call your name,
please step forward to receive
107
00:03:51,748 --> 00:03:53,248
your marksmanship badge.
108
00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:55,750
Oh, hell, let's speed this up.
Randy...
109
00:03:55,752 --> 00:03:57,085
Second place.
110
00:03:57,087 --> 00:03:58,920
Step back.
The rest of you-- you passed.
111
00:03:58,922 --> 00:04:01,256
What? I don't understand.
112
00:04:01,258 --> 00:04:02,991
Oh, boy.
113
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,761
Well, this isn't
gonna be pretty.
114
00:04:06,763 --> 00:04:08,096
Nope.
115
00:04:08,098 --> 00:04:09,764
I bet Randy's already
doing that thing
116
00:04:09,766 --> 00:04:12,000
where he won't make eye contact
with us.
117
00:04:13,269 --> 00:04:14,969
You know what?
I'll talk to him.
118
00:04:14,971 --> 00:04:16,271
On with the ceremony.
119
00:04:16,273 --> 00:04:18,473
Oh, hell, this is a lot
of badges.
120
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:19,641
Private hill, since
121
00:04:19,643 --> 00:04:20,975
you're not doing anything,
come up here
122
00:04:20,977 --> 00:04:22,377
and help me hand out
these badges.
123
00:04:28,317 --> 00:04:29,284
Private dobkiss.
124
00:04:32,321 --> 00:04:34,822
Congratulations.
125
00:04:34,824 --> 00:04:36,391
Wow, it's awesome
to win something
126
00:04:36,393 --> 00:04:37,825
when you're this hung over.
127
00:04:37,827 --> 00:04:39,661
It's like, what can't I do?
128
00:04:39,663 --> 00:04:41,663
Shut up, dobkiss.
129
00:04:41,665 --> 00:04:42,897
All right, we both know
130
00:04:42,899 --> 00:04:44,499
we're not sharing
that ugly-ass trophy,
131
00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:45,900
so let's settle
this right now.
132
00:04:45,902 --> 00:04:48,169
Okay, whoever
wins gets the trophy, but
133
00:04:48,171 --> 00:04:49,737
whoever loses gets
a giant number two
134
00:04:49,739 --> 00:04:50,905
written on their forehead.
135
00:04:50,907 --> 00:04:52,173
Deal.
Yes.
136
00:04:52,175 --> 00:04:53,675
But this isn't
even a true test.
137
00:04:53,677 --> 00:04:55,176
A real soldier can shoot
under duress,
138
00:04:55,178 --> 00:04:57,578
which I proved to great
acclaim in Afghanistan.
139
00:04:57,580 --> 00:04:58,846
Then let's add some duress.
140
00:04:58,848 --> 00:05:00,415
Have your platoon cover
our eyes while we shoot.
141
00:05:00,417 --> 00:05:01,949
Shoot blindfolded?
142
00:05:01,951 --> 00:05:03,318
I sleepblindfolded.
143
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:07,021
That's the one time
that comeback doesn't work.
144
00:05:14,296 --> 00:05:15,430
They're the same!
145
00:05:15,432 --> 00:05:17,465
We tied.
We need more duress.
146
00:05:17,467 --> 00:05:18,933
What you gonna do?!
147
00:05:18,935 --> 00:05:20,768
You're my dirty
little boy, ain't ya?!
148
00:05:20,770 --> 00:05:22,270
Your skin is perfect!
149
00:05:22,272 --> 00:05:24,605
Your hair looks like it was
spun by rumpelstiltskin!
150
00:05:24,607 --> 00:05:26,274
Why are you still single?!
151
00:05:26,276 --> 00:05:29,377
It's a tie again!
You did it!
152
00:05:31,613 --> 00:05:33,448
Okay, leapfrog a private,
153
00:05:33,450 --> 00:05:34,949
barrel roll,
then pop up and shoot.
154
00:05:34,951 --> 00:05:36,117
How's that sound?
155
00:05:36,119 --> 00:05:37,785
Like a huge
safety violation.
156
00:05:37,787 --> 00:05:39,120
All right,
as range supervisor,
157
00:05:39,122 --> 00:05:40,621
I'm gonna need you to
vacate the premises.
158
00:05:40,623 --> 00:05:42,123
Come on, Barry!
159
00:05:42,125 --> 00:05:44,492
Barry? My name is Charles.
160
00:05:44,494 --> 00:05:46,661
Well, I used to be
in your platoon.
161
00:05:46,663 --> 00:05:47,995
Really?
162
00:05:47,997 --> 00:05:50,565
Cold, man. Cold.
163
00:05:54,169 --> 00:05:55,670
Hey, buddy.
164
00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:57,171
How are you doing?
165
00:05:57,173 --> 00:05:58,506
Also, what are you doing?
166
00:05:58,508 --> 00:05:59,841
I ordered this victory cake,
167
00:05:59,843 --> 00:06:02,176
and now I'm throwing it away.
168
00:06:02,178 --> 00:06:03,845
Don't think you need to cut it
up before you throw it out.
169
00:06:03,847 --> 00:06:05,346
Well, it came
with this cake cutter,
170
00:06:05,348 --> 00:06:07,849
and I just wanted to hold
a weapon I can actually use.
171
00:06:09,018 --> 00:06:10,184
I'm sorry, Randy.
172
00:06:10,186 --> 00:06:11,352
I just don't get it.
173
00:06:11,354 --> 00:06:12,553
I passed
in basic training.
174
00:06:12,555 --> 00:06:14,355
How could I have gotten
so much worse?
175
00:06:14,357 --> 00:06:16,858
Don't beat yourself up,
but if you do, I'm here to talk.
176
00:06:16,860 --> 00:06:19,193
Thanks, brother.
I really appreciate...
177
00:06:19,195 --> 00:06:23,030
Since when do you care
about my feelings?
178
00:06:23,032 --> 00:06:26,234
Oh, come on, I'm-I'm always up
for a brother huddle.
179
00:06:26,236 --> 00:06:27,902
Okay, something's wrong.
180
00:06:27,904 --> 00:06:29,937
You're acting like
you're guilty of something.
181
00:06:29,939 --> 00:06:31,406
Me? What? No.
Come on, let's...
182
00:06:31,408 --> 00:06:32,907
You know, let's have...
Let's have a slice of cake!
183
00:06:32,909 --> 00:06:33,908
Oh, strawberry filling--
my favorite!
184
00:06:33,910 --> 00:06:35,910
Okay... you think
I'm gonna sit here
185
00:06:35,912 --> 00:06:37,245
and listen to you
sing the praises
186
00:06:37,247 --> 00:06:38,746
of strawberry filling
when we both know
187
00:06:38,748 --> 00:06:40,581
you've been a banana man since
mom baked you that monkey cake
188
00:06:40,583 --> 00:06:41,749
on your eighth birthday?!
189
00:06:41,751 --> 00:06:43,284
What's going on, Derrick?!
190
00:06:43,286 --> 00:06:45,086
All right, fine!
I'll tell you, okay?
191
00:06:45,088 --> 00:06:46,587
Here's the thing.
Back in basic,
192
00:06:46,589 --> 00:06:48,656
I kind of sort of...
193
00:06:51,927 --> 00:06:54,095
Whoo! Yeah!
194
00:06:54,097 --> 00:06:54,962
Feels good.
195
00:06:54,964 --> 00:06:56,431
Yeah, baby.
196
00:06:56,433 --> 00:06:57,598
All right.
197
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,100
Go army, huh?
Yeah, brothers.
198
00:06:59,102 --> 00:07:00,301
This is fun.
Cool.
199
00:07:00,303 --> 00:07:02,603
You cheated for me?
200
00:07:02,605 --> 00:07:05,273
Kind of sort of... yeah.
201
00:07:05,275 --> 00:07:08,543
Oh... can not believe this!
202
00:07:08,545 --> 00:07:09,977
I cannot believe this!
203
00:07:09,979 --> 00:07:11,479
I do not believe this!
204
00:07:11,481 --> 00:07:13,481
This is unbelievable!
205
00:07:13,483 --> 00:07:14,816
Okay, calm down.
No!
206
00:07:14,818 --> 00:07:15,983
No!
207
00:07:15,985 --> 00:07:17,652
How could you do this to me?
208
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:19,153
I did it for you.
209
00:07:19,155 --> 00:07:20,388
You're the one
who's always talking
210
00:07:20,390 --> 00:07:21,823
about how you love
being a soldier.
211
00:07:21,825 --> 00:07:23,324
I'm the one
who made that wish come true.
212
00:07:23,326 --> 00:07:27,328
Well, stop granting my wishes,
evil genie.
213
00:07:27,330 --> 00:07:29,397
Stop it!
214
00:07:30,833 --> 00:07:31,999
Evil genie...
215
00:07:32,001 --> 00:07:33,901
I'd watch that show.
216
00:07:37,175 --> 00:07:38,342
Hey, buddy,
you need some help?
217
00:07:38,344 --> 00:07:40,244
There are things I can
do on my own, Derrick.
218
00:07:42,013 --> 00:07:43,914
I can't believe
you cheated for me.
219
00:07:43,916 --> 00:07:45,182
My whole life's been a lie.
220
00:07:45,184 --> 00:07:47,418
Not your whole life,
just the army part.
221
00:07:47,420 --> 00:07:49,253
The army part is the only part
that matters.
222
00:07:49,255 --> 00:07:51,422
If I can't pass this test,
they might kick me out.
223
00:07:51,424 --> 00:07:53,757
You can take a re-test.
What if I fail that?
224
00:07:53,759 --> 00:07:55,926
Dad was in the army,
Pete's in the army.
225
00:07:55,928 --> 00:07:58,429
You don't even want to be in the
army, and you're in the army. True.
226
00:07:58,431 --> 00:08:01,932
If I'm not in the army...
I'm not in the family.
227
00:08:01,934 --> 00:08:05,102
I never thought
about it like that.
228
00:08:05,104 --> 00:08:06,270
Yeah, tell me about it.
229
00:08:06,272 --> 00:08:07,605
The whole thing
just donged on me.
230
00:08:07,607 --> 00:08:09,607
Donged?! I think
you mean "dawned."
231
00:08:09,609 --> 00:08:10,608
No, I mean donged.
232
00:08:10,610 --> 00:08:12,443
You hit a gong,
it makes a dong sound,
233
00:08:12,445 --> 00:08:13,811
and then you realize something.
234
00:08:13,813 --> 00:08:16,313
Any other day, and I could have
a field day with this.
235
00:08:16,315 --> 00:08:18,282
I mean, what am I gonna do
in formation tomorrow?
236
00:08:18,284 --> 00:08:20,618
I can't look Pete in the eye.
I'm not a real soldier.
237
00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:21,785
Listen, hope isn't lost.
238
00:08:21,787 --> 00:08:23,787
You'll take a retest,
and I'll help you.
239
00:08:23,789 --> 00:08:24,955
Really?
240
00:08:24,957 --> 00:08:26,123
I did it once, I'll do it again.
241
00:08:26,125 --> 00:08:27,791
No, Derrick,
you cannot cheat for me!
242
00:08:27,793 --> 00:08:29,293
Okay, that makes it harder.
243
00:08:29,295 --> 00:08:31,161
I'll just have to train you.
244
00:08:31,163 --> 00:08:34,164
Don't smile.
245
00:08:35,668 --> 00:08:38,168
What the hell?!
246
00:08:38,170 --> 00:08:41,338
What are you fools doing
in my swim Lane?
247
00:08:41,340 --> 00:08:43,173
One of us has to win the
general Murray trophy.
248
00:08:43,175 --> 00:08:44,542
We couldn't use
the gun range,
249
00:08:44,544 --> 00:08:46,043
so we had to pick another
soldier skill to compete at.
250
00:08:46,045 --> 00:08:47,678
Don't worry, sergeant major.
251
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,346
We'll be out of your way in
no time. Pete's about to quit.
252
00:08:49,348 --> 00:08:51,015
My varsity water polo
letterman's jacket says
253
00:08:51,017 --> 00:08:52,683
you don't know
what you're talking about.
254
00:08:52,685 --> 00:08:53,851
Get out of my pool!
255
00:08:53,853 --> 00:08:55,719
But we're still tied!
- That's an order!
256
00:08:55,721 --> 00:08:59,690
I'm coming in,
and I don't swim in chop.
257
00:08:59,692 --> 00:09:01,191
All right, you sure
this is a good time to train?
258
00:09:01,193 --> 00:09:02,359
Isn't this usually
259
00:09:02,361 --> 00:09:04,395
when you wife-out at the
family readiness group?
260
00:09:04,397 --> 00:09:05,563
This takes priority.
261
00:09:05,565 --> 00:09:07,364
Besides, I got someone
to cover for me.
262
00:09:07,366 --> 00:09:08,566
Before we get started,
263
00:09:08,568 --> 00:09:12,069
would you ladies like me
to take my shirt off?
264
00:09:12,071 --> 00:09:15,105
This'll be easy. We just have to
take your great practice results
265
00:09:15,107 --> 00:09:16,907
and translate them to
the marksmanship test.
266
00:09:16,909 --> 00:09:18,909
Yeah, about that.
267
00:09:18,911 --> 00:09:22,413
I never really hit the targets
in practice, either.
268
00:09:22,415 --> 00:09:24,748
What? Then why were
you so confident?
269
00:09:24,750 --> 00:09:26,417
I assumed
that in the actual test,
270
00:09:26,419 --> 00:09:27,585
adrenaline would just take over.
271
00:09:27,587 --> 00:09:30,621
Like a mother bear
lifting a car off of a baby.
272
00:09:30,623 --> 00:09:34,091
You're lucky I'm feeling
super guilty about all this,
273
00:09:34,093 --> 00:09:35,292
'cause you're being a
real handful right now.
274
00:09:35,294 --> 00:09:38,128
All right, walk me
through your process.
275
00:09:38,130 --> 00:09:40,798
I assume a firm firing stance,
276
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,600
put the rifle
to my shoulder,
277
00:09:42,602 --> 00:09:45,269
and then I take aim
at the man out there.
278
00:09:45,271 --> 00:09:46,804
Hold on. Man?
279
00:09:46,806 --> 00:09:48,272
Yeah, a man's what
I'm shooting at.
280
00:09:48,274 --> 00:09:51,609
So, when you take aim,
you picture the target as a man?
281
00:09:51,611 --> 00:09:54,044
Yeah. Let's-let's
call him Harold.
282
00:09:54,046 --> 00:09:56,480
What I do is,
I get Harold in my sights.
283
00:09:56,482 --> 00:10:00,651
Then I start thinking about
his wife and his three kids
284
00:10:00,653 --> 00:10:02,553
and his day job
at the rubber factory,
285
00:10:02,555 --> 00:10:05,489
and his night job at the
roller rink, and how he works
286
00:10:05,491 --> 00:10:06,890
too hard,
but he never complains.
287
00:10:06,892 --> 00:10:08,659
That's just
the kind of guy he is.
288
00:10:08,661 --> 00:10:09,827
All right, stop it.
289
00:10:09,829 --> 00:10:11,495
I think I know
what the problem might be.
290
00:10:11,497 --> 00:10:12,830
Yeah, Harold should demand
a raise,
291
00:10:12,832 --> 00:10:14,231
but you've seen
the unemployment numbers.
292
00:10:14,233 --> 00:10:15,332
Management holds
all the cards.
293
00:10:15,334 --> 00:10:17,301
Seriously, brother,
any other day.
294
00:10:28,847 --> 00:10:31,749
Tie.
Damn it!
295
00:10:39,424 --> 00:10:41,425
Oh! Unreal!
296
00:10:41,427 --> 00:10:42,693
Another tie.
297
00:10:44,262 --> 00:10:47,097
Shouldn't we be practicing?
298
00:10:47,099 --> 00:10:51,268
We can't fix things out there
until we fix things up here.
299
00:10:51,270 --> 00:10:53,437
My hair? The army kind of
limits my options, but
300
00:10:53,439 --> 00:10:55,939
if you want to put together a
look-book, I'll show the barber.
301
00:10:55,941 --> 00:10:57,107
Your mind, Randy. Okay?
302
00:10:57,109 --> 00:10:58,942
You're visualizing
your targets as people
303
00:10:58,944 --> 00:11:00,778
and it's keeping you
from shooting them.
304
00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:01,945
You're being too emotional.
305
00:11:01,947 --> 00:11:03,147
Okay.
306
00:11:03,149 --> 00:11:04,782
I'm not emotional.
Really?
307
00:11:04,784 --> 00:11:06,283
Hell, no, I'm stone-cold.
308
00:11:06,285 --> 00:11:08,152
Okay, let's try a
test. Recite the plot
309
00:11:08,154 --> 00:11:10,454
of toy story 3
without choking up.
310
00:11:10,456 --> 00:11:11,622
Okay, fine.
311
00:11:11,624 --> 00:11:13,457
Uh, we open on Mr. potato head,
312
00:11:13,459 --> 00:11:15,859
robbing a trainful of orphans.
313
00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:20,330
Those fuzzy-headed trolls
just wanted a better life.
314
00:11:21,867 --> 00:11:23,200
There it is.
315
00:11:23,202 --> 00:11:24,835
The big old cry-face.
316
00:11:24,837 --> 00:11:26,870
I don't know what
you're talking about.
317
00:11:26,872 --> 00:11:28,539
We're gonna drill this
until you drop your emotions
318
00:11:28,541 --> 00:11:29,873
so you can fire your rifle.
319
00:11:29,875 --> 00:11:31,008
Now try it again.
320
00:11:31,010 --> 00:11:34,078
We open on Mr. potato head...
321
00:11:35,180 --> 00:11:36,513
Robbing a trainful of...
322
00:11:44,356 --> 00:11:47,024
Come on, Randy, you're just
describing the opening logo.
323
00:11:47,026 --> 00:11:49,560
That lamp doesn't have a family.
324
00:11:49,562 --> 00:11:51,361
Oh, my God. Again.
325
00:11:53,399 --> 00:11:55,733
And the toys... and
then Rex and the slinky...
326
00:11:58,037 --> 00:11:59,703
And the little cowgirl...
327
00:12:01,907 --> 00:12:03,607
We're not even talking,
you're just crying now.
328
00:12:03,609 --> 00:12:05,909
It's a whole story of toys.
329
00:12:10,081 --> 00:12:11,648
Ow!
330
00:12:13,585 --> 00:12:15,085
The boy's packing
for college,
331
00:12:15,087 --> 00:12:17,020
but he leaves Woody
and buzz behind.
332
00:12:18,923 --> 00:12:21,258
Because he doesn't care
about 'em anymore.
333
00:12:21,260 --> 00:12:23,127
Again.
I know.
334
00:12:23,129 --> 00:12:26,430
And in the end, the toys
begin their new lives
335
00:12:26,432 --> 00:12:28,098
with Bonnie next door.
336
00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:29,600
And who is this Bonnie?
337
00:12:29,602 --> 00:12:33,837
She's the kindest, sweetest
girl in the whole world.
338
00:12:35,940 --> 00:12:37,307
Who cares.
339
00:12:37,309 --> 00:12:38,642
You did it, Randy.
340
00:12:38,644 --> 00:12:40,778
You finally made it
all the way without choking up.
341
00:12:40,780 --> 00:12:41,812
You're ready.
342
00:12:41,814 --> 00:12:43,480
Does that mean I can
have an ice cream?
343
00:12:43,482 --> 00:12:45,482
No.
344
00:12:45,484 --> 00:12:46,717
Good.
345
00:12:48,805 --> 00:12:50,973
Thank you for agreeing
to be our judges.
346
00:12:50,975 --> 00:12:53,075
Sergeant Perez and I
have prepared meals
347
00:12:53,077 --> 00:12:55,578
using traditional
army ingredients.
348
00:12:55,580 --> 00:12:56,746
What I have for you today
349
00:12:56,748 --> 00:12:59,582
are braised chicken thighs
in a white wine reduction
350
00:12:59,584 --> 00:13:02,318
with caramelized shallots.
351
00:13:09,159 --> 00:13:10,159
And I have
prepared
352
00:13:10,161 --> 00:13:12,595
meat and potatoes.
353
00:13:12,597 --> 00:13:13,763
Oh.
354
00:13:13,765 --> 00:13:16,599
The potato has been prepared
one-ways, baked.
355
00:13:16,601 --> 00:13:19,268
And the meat has been cooked
until it was brown.
356
00:13:19,270 --> 00:13:20,503
Enjoy.
357
00:13:37,187 --> 00:13:39,689
I'm tasting a seasoning
I can't quite place.
358
00:13:39,691 --> 00:13:41,223
Is it...
359
00:13:41,225 --> 00:13:43,025
Salt?
360
00:13:43,027 --> 00:13:44,694
Bingo.
361
00:13:44,696 --> 00:13:46,195
Maybe not enough.
362
00:13:46,197 --> 00:13:47,730
Ah, interesting.
Oh.
363
00:13:47,732 --> 00:13:48,965
Hmm.
364
00:13:51,368 --> 00:13:52,868
Sergeant Perez,
365
00:13:52,870 --> 00:13:55,204
I love how you let the chicken
be the hero in this dish.
366
00:13:55,206 --> 00:13:57,707
It had a sense of humor
and a real gravitas.
367
00:13:57,709 --> 00:13:58,708
I vote for you.
368
00:13:58,710 --> 00:14:00,042
Oh. Yes.
369
00:14:00,044 --> 00:14:03,245
Sergeant hill,
your brown meat dish
370
00:14:03,247 --> 00:14:05,047
was burnt.
371
00:14:05,049 --> 00:14:06,816
And oddly sour.
372
00:14:07,951 --> 00:14:09,418
I vote for you.
373
00:14:09,420 --> 00:14:11,087
Mmm!
374
00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:16,258
I always ask myself
one question:
375
00:14:16,260 --> 00:14:19,261
Is this better than a calzone?
376
00:14:19,263 --> 00:14:21,030
And the answer,
in both cases...
377
00:14:22,599 --> 00:14:25,001
...was no.
378
00:14:26,603 --> 00:14:27,603
Gentlemen,
379
00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:28,804
let's get out of here.
380
00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:32,441
Did we just tie again?
381
00:14:32,443 --> 00:14:35,111
My dish is so much
better than yours. That's ridiculous.
382
00:14:35,113 --> 00:14:38,614
Taste it. Eat it.
Well, I'm not gonna taste yours unless you taste mine.
383
00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:40,783
Mm?
384
00:14:40,785 --> 00:14:42,318
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
385
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:43,452
Mm?
Mm?
386
00:14:43,454 --> 00:14:44,654
You two bozos.
387
00:14:44,656 --> 00:14:47,456
My office, 0800.
388
00:14:47,458 --> 00:14:49,325
Mm-hmm.
Mm.
389
00:14:50,495 --> 00:14:52,328
Sergeant major,
you wanted to see us?
390
00:14:52,330 --> 00:14:54,030
Oh, good God, you
both look awful.
391
00:14:54,032 --> 00:14:56,332
Oh, well, that's because we
were up all night counting constellations
392
00:14:56,334 --> 00:14:57,667
to see who's better
at navigating
393
00:14:57,669 --> 00:14:59,001
by the stars.
394
00:14:59,003 --> 00:15:01,203
But we tied again, even
though Pete tried to cheat.
395
00:15:01,205 --> 00:15:03,039
Orion's beard is a thing.
No, it's not.
396
00:15:03,041 --> 00:15:04,507
Yeah, it's not.
- Ugh.
397
00:15:04,509 --> 00:15:06,542
A constellation
counting contest. Yeah.
398
00:15:06,544 --> 00:15:09,011
More like a full-fledged
flirt-fest.
399
00:15:09,013 --> 00:15:10,513
With all due respect,
sergeant major,
400
00:15:10,515 --> 00:15:11,847
that's insane.
What?!
401
00:15:11,849 --> 00:15:13,182
You two have been using
this trophy as an excuse
402
00:15:13,184 --> 00:15:15,551
to have a secret
soldier smooch seminar.
403
00:15:15,553 --> 00:15:16,886
What's happening?
Why are you doing that?
404
00:15:16,888 --> 00:15:18,020
It's called alliteration.
405
00:15:18,022 --> 00:15:19,522
It makes language more colorful.
406
00:15:19,524 --> 00:15:20,523
My point is...
407
00:15:20,525 --> 00:15:22,391
Cut it out!
408
00:15:22,393 --> 00:15:24,860
It's unbecoming for your troops
to see you like this.
409
00:15:24,862 --> 00:15:26,028
Sergeant major,
410
00:15:26,030 --> 00:15:27,063
we're not flirting.
411
00:15:27,065 --> 00:15:29,231
No.
- That casual glance
412
00:15:29,233 --> 00:15:31,067
you just shared says otherwise.
413
00:15:31,069 --> 00:15:33,636
You see, your prancing
pupils polka'd p...
414
00:15:33,638 --> 00:15:35,237
Oh, hell, I just lost it.
415
00:15:35,239 --> 00:15:36,906
Dismissed.
416
00:15:36,908 --> 00:15:39,408
Stop doing that,
the wind's not a factor.
417
00:15:39,410 --> 00:15:42,144
You ready to dominate
this retest, or what? I'm ready!
418
00:15:42,146 --> 00:15:44,647
Got to give me a little bit more warning
before you scream directly into my face.
419
00:15:44,649 --> 00:15:45,748
Okay, private hill.
420
00:15:45,750 --> 00:15:46,749
It's time.
421
00:15:46,751 --> 00:15:47,917
Thank you, sergeant major.
422
00:15:47,919 --> 00:15:50,219
Remember your training.
423
00:15:58,261 --> 00:16:02,098
The white-hot incinerator
looms in the distance.
424
00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:04,266
Buzz looks to Jesse...
425
00:16:04,268 --> 00:16:06,102
And Rex...
426
00:16:06,104 --> 00:16:08,003
And Mr. potato head.
427
00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:13,509
They join hands and descend
into the fiery inferno.
428
00:16:14,711 --> 00:16:16,846
Will they survive?
429
00:16:16,848 --> 00:16:19,281
Who cares?
430
00:16:22,853 --> 00:16:24,720
Looks good from here,
private hill.
431
00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:26,522
Yes, dude, you passed.
432
00:16:26,524 --> 00:16:28,090
Damn right I did.
433
00:16:29,192 --> 00:16:31,694
I'm a stone-cold killer.
434
00:16:31,696 --> 00:16:33,028
Hooah.
435
00:16:34,565 --> 00:16:37,199
Yeah, great.
436
00:16:37,201 --> 00:16:39,101
Stone-cold.
437
00:16:40,537 --> 00:16:42,538
Congratulations, private.
438
00:16:42,540 --> 00:16:44,106
Thank you, sergeant major.
439
00:16:46,209 --> 00:16:47,576
Better luck
next time, guys.
440
00:16:47,578 --> 00:16:48,544
We already
passed.
441
00:16:48,546 --> 00:16:49,712
Let him have
this one, boo.
442
00:16:49,714 --> 00:16:50,746
Okay.
443
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:51,981
Fall out.
444
00:16:52,916 --> 00:16:54,717
Proud of you, brother.
445
00:16:54,719 --> 00:16:55,918
Thanks, Pete.
446
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,253
I couldn't have done
it without Derrick.
447
00:16:57,255 --> 00:16:58,754
He really drilled me hard.
448
00:16:58,756 --> 00:16:59,955
There's a better way
of saying that.
449
00:16:59,957 --> 00:17:02,258
No, there's not.
You drilled me harder
450
00:17:02,260 --> 00:17:04,760
than I've ever been
drilled in my entire life.
451
00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:06,262
Apparently there's a much
worse way of saying that.
452
00:17:06,264 --> 00:17:08,264
Yeah. I'm impressed.
453
00:17:08,266 --> 00:17:09,632
I didn't think you
had it in you, but
454
00:17:09,634 --> 00:17:11,100
you created a real soldier.
455
00:17:11,102 --> 00:17:13,102
He put what he
has in him in me.
456
00:17:13,104 --> 00:17:14,937
Now when I get
deployed I can fight.
457
00:17:14,939 --> 00:17:16,105
Just like you.
458
00:17:16,107 --> 00:17:17,373
Thank you, Derrick.
459
00:17:23,113 --> 00:17:24,513
Yeah.
460
00:17:25,368 --> 00:17:26,368
One, two, three, shoot.
461
00:17:26,370 --> 00:17:27,536
Damn it.
462
00:17:27,538 --> 00:17:29,905
We even have flawless
roshambo strategies.
463
00:17:29,907 --> 00:17:32,207
We've been at this for
30 hours straight.
464
00:17:32,209 --> 00:17:33,542
Wait, that's it.
465
00:17:33,544 --> 00:17:35,577
Whoever falls asleep first loses
466
00:17:35,579 --> 00:17:37,779
and gets a number two
written on their forehead.
467
00:17:37,781 --> 00:17:38,914
Sleep deprivation, I like it.
468
00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:40,248
You know, once,
in the korengal valley...
469
00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:42,250
No one cares.
470
00:17:42,252 --> 00:17:43,285
This looks like a good spot.
471
00:17:43,287 --> 00:17:44,586
Right.
Yeah.
472
00:17:44,588 --> 00:17:46,121
People can see if we're
cheating or flirting.
473
00:17:46,123 --> 00:17:47,122
Or flirting?
474
00:17:47,124 --> 00:17:48,090
You just said that.
475
00:17:48,092 --> 00:17:49,257
Right.
Damn it.
476
00:17:49,259 --> 00:17:51,259
Now we're tying in talking.
477
00:17:52,262 --> 00:17:54,329
After you.
478
00:18:01,104 --> 00:18:02,804
Cody's crazy.
479
00:18:02,806 --> 00:18:04,439
This is not flirting.
480
00:18:04,441 --> 00:18:06,441
Nope. Just staring
into your eyes
481
00:18:06,443 --> 00:18:09,444
so I can watch
you fall asleep. Yup.
482
00:18:09,446 --> 00:18:11,313
I'm gonna scoot on back
just a little bit.
483
00:18:11,315 --> 00:18:12,514
Yeah, I'll give you some space.
Yeah. Okay.
484
00:18:14,952 --> 00:18:17,552
Corporal hill.
You... d-don't tell me.
485
00:18:17,554 --> 00:18:19,321
You've convinced dobkiss
to climb that tree again,
486
00:18:19,323 --> 00:18:21,156
knowing damn well
he can't get down. No,
487
00:18:21,158 --> 00:18:23,325
sergeant major,
it's actually about Randy. Oh.
488
00:18:23,327 --> 00:18:24,326
So you want to be praised.
489
00:18:24,328 --> 00:18:27,229
Well, good work. Boom.
490
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,497
You've been praised.
491
00:18:28,499 --> 00:18:30,665
And I feel it.
But about Randy?
492
00:18:30,667 --> 00:18:32,400
I-I was really proud of him.
493
00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:34,669
But as you were pinning
that badge on, I just...
494
00:18:34,671 --> 00:18:36,671
I kind of feel like
I did the wrong thing.
495
00:18:36,673 --> 00:18:39,007
Passing the marksmanship test
is part of being in the army.
496
00:18:39,009 --> 00:18:40,008
Sergeant major,
497
00:18:40,010 --> 00:18:41,843
Randy is a kind,
498
00:18:41,845 --> 00:18:42,844
empathetic, emotional guy.
499
00:18:42,846 --> 00:18:45,347
And I taught him how
to shut all that off
500
00:18:45,349 --> 00:18:47,849
so he could live this dream of
being a super soldier like Pete,
501
00:18:47,851 --> 00:18:49,184
but he's just not like that.
502
00:18:49,186 --> 00:18:50,185
If he's ever deployed...
503
00:18:50,187 --> 00:18:52,754
If he ever is deployed...
504
00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:55,357
You saved his life by
teaching him to shoot.
505
00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:57,025
I understand.
506
00:18:57,027 --> 00:18:59,461
What I'm struggling with is...
507
00:18:59,463 --> 00:19:01,263
I helped Randy stay in the army
508
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:03,331
when maybe he doesn't
belong in the army at all.
509
00:19:04,967 --> 00:19:06,334
Come with me.
510
00:19:08,437 --> 00:19:10,639
This is the opposite
of flirting.
511
00:19:10,641 --> 00:19:11,940
Nothing romantic here.
512
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,175
Nope.
513
00:19:15,111 --> 00:19:16,278
Was that a shooting star?
514
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,446
I think so.
515
00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:22,284
Hello, sergeants.
516
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:23,285
Oh, don't mind me.
517
00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:24,619
I can't practice in the barracks
518
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:25,954
without getting punched.
519
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,989
Wow. I actually
love that song.
520
00:19:30,626 --> 00:19:31,993
Mm.
Fireworks night
521
00:19:31,995 --> 00:19:33,795
at the ballpark.
522
00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:37,165
Maybe this wasn't the
best place to do this.
523
00:19:37,167 --> 00:19:40,335
Corporal hill,
I understand your concerns.
524
00:19:40,337 --> 00:19:43,171
But being a soldier
means many different things.
525
00:19:43,173 --> 00:19:46,241
It's a lot more than just being
able to fire a weapon in combat.
526
00:19:47,843 --> 00:19:48,843
So...
527
00:19:48,845 --> 00:19:50,512
How long has Ben been away?
528
00:19:50,514 --> 00:19:52,514
Oh, gosh. Over
a year now.
529
00:19:52,516 --> 00:19:56,184
And every night I stay up,
wondering if he's gonna be okay.
530
00:19:56,186 --> 00:19:57,519
Am I crazy?
531
00:19:57,521 --> 00:19:58,687
Not at all.
532
00:19:58,689 --> 00:20:00,021
I know exactly how you feel.
533
00:20:00,023 --> 00:20:01,356
When my brother
Pete was deployed,
534
00:20:01,358 --> 00:20:03,525
all I could think about
was him returning home safe.
535
00:20:03,527 --> 00:20:04,893
Well, that
536
00:20:04,895 --> 00:20:06,561
and celebrity apprentice.
537
00:20:06,563 --> 00:20:07,762
What a mess, huh?
538
00:20:09,031 --> 00:20:11,533
I just wish my husband knew
how much I missed him.
539
00:20:11,535 --> 00:20:13,368
I promise you that he does.
540
00:20:13,370 --> 00:20:15,036
And you're gonna
get through this.
541
00:20:15,038 --> 00:20:16,037
Hey, I got through it,
542
00:20:16,039 --> 00:20:17,706
and you are ten times
tougher than me.
543
00:20:17,708 --> 00:20:20,542
Thanks, Randy.
544
00:20:20,544 --> 00:20:23,044
Randy's a fine soldier.
545
00:20:23,046 --> 00:20:25,413
We need more men like
him rear d, not less.
546
00:20:25,415 --> 00:20:27,249
I see that now,
sergeant major.
547
00:20:27,251 --> 00:20:29,417
He gets what this place
is all about.
548
00:20:29,419 --> 00:20:30,585
As opposed to some.
549
00:20:30,587 --> 00:20:32,120
Got it.
Understand,
550
00:20:32,122 --> 00:20:34,289
I'm not just
complimenting Randy.
551
00:20:34,291 --> 00:20:35,423
I'm insulting you.
552
00:20:35,425 --> 00:20:36,825
Understood.
553
00:20:40,096 --> 00:20:42,130
Hey, Randy, I've got some stuff
554
00:20:42,132 --> 00:20:43,832
for the toy drive.
All right.
555
00:20:50,106 --> 00:20:51,273
Betty, I'm gonna need a minute.
556
00:21:00,116 --> 00:21:01,349
Mmm.
557
00:21:13,996 --> 00:21:16,064
I win.
558
00:21:22,171 --> 00:21:23,905
Good night, number two.
559
00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:28,410
Ow.
560
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:33,000
== Sync by ZeBlinkMaster ==
561
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562
00:21:37,125 --> 00:21:41,675
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