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1
00:00:00,594 --> 00:00:02,161
Life goes on
2
00:00:02,196 --> 00:00:04,363
and so do we
3
00:00:04,398 --> 00:00:05,531
just how we do it
4
00:00:05,566 --> 00:00:08,467
is no mystery
5
00:00:08,502 --> 00:00:12,738
sometimes the answer
can be hard to find
6
00:00:12,773 --> 00:00:16,275
That's something
I will never be
7
00:00:16,310 --> 00:00:18,143
I'm always here
8
00:00:18,179 --> 00:00:22,181
for anything that you need
9
00:00:22,216 --> 00:00:24,149
rain or shine
10
00:00:24,185 --> 00:00:26,118
I'll be the one
11
00:00:26,153 --> 00:00:27,453
to share it all
12
00:00:27,488 --> 00:00:31,156
as life goes on
13
00:00:31,192 --> 00:00:34,526
we share it all
14
00:00:34,562 --> 00:00:38,697
as life goes on
15
00:00:58,673 --> 00:01:00,006
okay, Carol, are you ready?
16
00:01:00,041 --> 00:01:01,591
Watch this.
17
00:01:05,180 --> 00:01:06,145
Daddy, that's amazing.
18
00:01:06,181 --> 00:01:07,447
I did it. I did it.
19
00:01:07,482 --> 00:01:10,049
I finally taught dreyfuss
to do something useful.
20
00:01:10,085 --> 00:01:11,751
Now, all you have to do
is just open the door,
21
00:01:11,786 --> 00:01:13,920
go to the driveway,
he'll bring in this paper...
22
00:01:13,955 --> 00:01:15,354
This is not...
What? No, this is...
23
00:01:15,390 --> 00:01:17,023
Dreyfuss... dreyf!
24
00:01:17,058 --> 00:01:18,658
What are you doing? Dreyf!
25
00:01:18,693 --> 00:01:21,627
That's not our paper. Dreyf!
26
00:01:21,663 --> 00:01:23,129
Morning, Mr. Patrick.
27
00:01:23,164 --> 00:01:24,730
No, oh, dreyf, don't.
28
00:01:24,766 --> 00:01:25,798
No, don't!
29
00:01:25,834 --> 00:01:28,201
Don't fight him for it,
Mr. Patrick.
30
00:01:39,848 --> 00:01:41,488
Daddy, can you hand me
a napkin, please?
31
00:01:41,516 --> 00:01:42,682
Yes. Yeah, sure, dear.
32
00:01:42,717 --> 00:01:44,016
What are you...
What are you doing?
33
00:01:44,052 --> 00:01:45,885
Barbara starts
a new assignment today.
34
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,687
She's going to be a student.
35
00:01:47,722 --> 00:01:49,355
She's going undercover
at a high school,
36
00:01:49,390 --> 00:01:51,657
so I thought I would pack her
a nice, nutritious lunch.
37
00:01:51,693 --> 00:01:53,693
Oh, that's so sweet of you.
38
00:01:53,728 --> 00:01:54,927
And a cute little note
39
00:01:54,963 --> 00:01:56,696
just like mom used to put
in our lunch boxes.
40
00:01:56,731 --> 00:01:58,531
"Dearest Barbie Barb,
41
00:01:58,566 --> 00:02:00,867
"I hope you are working hard
in all your classes
42
00:02:00,902 --> 00:02:03,503
"and having your usual upbeat,
exciting day.
43
00:02:03,538 --> 00:02:07,211
"I, on the other hand,
am in a severe depression.
44
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:12,128
Because I have the insight
to realize life is meaningless."
45
00:02:12,547 --> 00:02:14,981
Oops. Almost forgot
to draw the happy face.
46
00:02:15,016 --> 00:02:16,382
Ah.
47
00:02:16,417 --> 00:02:17,917
Barbara undercover
in high school.
48
00:02:17,952 --> 00:02:19,051
This should be fun for her.
49
00:02:19,087 --> 00:02:20,219
I mean, going back to school
50
00:02:20,255 --> 00:02:22,121
and classes
and reliving her time...
51
00:02:22,157 --> 00:02:24,957
Back upstairs. You're not going
to school dressed like that.
52
00:02:24,993 --> 00:02:26,659
Daddy, I have to look like this.
53
00:02:26,694 --> 00:02:28,794
Some kids have been stealing
computers at this school
54
00:02:28,830 --> 00:02:30,630
and I can't bust them
unless I fit in.
55
00:02:30,665 --> 00:02:33,199
And I suppose if all the other
kids jumped off a building,
56
00:02:33,234 --> 00:02:34,313
you would.
57
00:02:36,738 --> 00:02:38,237
I'm telling you, daddy,
58
00:02:38,273 --> 00:02:40,540
two weeks in that high school
and she'll have a reputation.
59
00:02:40,575 --> 00:02:41,942
Carol.
60
00:02:43,178 --> 00:02:44,677
- Hi.
- Hi, hon.
61
00:02:44,712 --> 00:02:47,013
I left my jacket here when
I dropped you off last night.
62
00:02:47,048 --> 00:02:48,147
What's with the outfit?
63
00:02:48,183 --> 00:02:49,183
I told you, Michael,
64
00:02:49,217 --> 00:02:50,516
it's an undercover assignment.
65
00:02:50,552 --> 00:02:51,752
I'm going back to high school.
66
00:02:51,786 --> 00:02:53,553
Well, guess I'll see you
this weekend.
67
00:02:53,588 --> 00:02:55,354
Mm. See you Wednesday night.
68
00:02:55,390 --> 00:02:56,856
Wednesday?
69
00:02:56,891 --> 00:02:59,341
Yeah, it's our
six-month anniversary, remember?
70
00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:00,993
Remember, how could I forget?
71
00:03:01,029 --> 00:03:03,305
It's been what, six months?
72
00:03:04,065 --> 00:03:05,698
We're doing something special,
right?
73
00:03:05,733 --> 00:03:07,200
Way ahead of you.
74
00:03:07,235 --> 00:03:09,835
I'm looking forward
to a romantic evening.
75
00:03:09,871 --> 00:03:11,737
Just the two of us.
76
00:03:11,773 --> 00:03:14,140
Oh, god, there's the school bus.
I got to go.
77
00:03:19,514 --> 00:03:22,548
So you have $8,300 in the bank
78
00:03:22,584 --> 00:03:25,117
earning 9.5% interest.
79
00:03:25,153 --> 00:03:28,187
What would your yield be
at the end of one year?
80
00:03:28,223 --> 00:03:29,641
Barbara?
81
00:03:31,526 --> 00:03:33,034
Seven?
82
00:03:34,495 --> 00:03:35,839
Seven?
83
00:03:36,698 --> 00:03:38,273
Okay, 200.
84
00:03:41,269 --> 00:03:43,176
New girl isn't too sharp.
85
00:03:49,695 --> 00:03:50,727
- Hello.
- Hi.
86
00:03:50,762 --> 00:03:52,295
Don't feel bad
about that problem.
87
00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:54,231
Percentages
are always difficult.
88
00:03:54,266 --> 00:03:56,713
I mean, especially
if you're from out of town.
89
00:03:57,069 --> 00:03:58,502
Yeah, I'm Barbara.
90
00:03:58,537 --> 00:04:01,265
I know. I'm Darrell.
Want my lunch?
91
00:04:02,174 --> 00:04:03,440
No, thanks.
92
00:04:03,475 --> 00:04:04,741
Oh.
93
00:04:04,776 --> 00:04:06,943
So, what's your locker number?
94
00:04:06,979 --> 00:04:08,111
408.
95
00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:09,547
Oh, that's right outside
the door.
96
00:04:09,581 --> 00:04:10,547
Can I walk you?
97
00:04:10,582 --> 00:04:11,842
Okay.
98
00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:14,651
Well, here it is.
99
00:04:14,686 --> 00:04:16,153
Oh, that's a good locker.
100
00:04:16,188 --> 00:04:17,487
Friend of mine had it last year.
101
00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:19,958
I don't remember it
ever sticking or anything.
102
00:04:20,626 --> 00:04:22,225
Right. Good. Thanks, Darrell.
103
00:04:22,261 --> 00:04:25,162
Anyway, if, uh... if you need
any help finding anything,
104
00:04:25,197 --> 00:04:26,563
just let me know.
105
00:04:26,598 --> 00:04:28,331
I, uh, really know
my way around here.
106
00:04:28,367 --> 00:04:30,100
Okay.
107
00:04:35,140 --> 00:04:36,608
Nuh-uh!
108
00:04:36,833 --> 00:04:38,742
Jennifer lied to Robert,
109
00:04:38,777 --> 00:04:40,677
but Robert called Kelly
last night,
110
00:04:40,712 --> 00:04:43,113
and they talked for about
nine hours on the phone.
111
00:04:43,148 --> 00:04:44,481
So now forget it.
112
00:04:44,516 --> 00:04:46,216
Jennifer thinks
it's, like, totally over,
113
00:04:46,251 --> 00:04:47,450
and she really hates him.
114
00:04:47,486 --> 00:04:50,420
Barbara, you been
on that phone 2 1/2 hours.
115
00:04:50,455 --> 00:04:51,721
Daddy, this is important.
116
00:04:51,757 --> 00:04:52,955
Oh, I see.
117
00:04:52,984 --> 00:04:54,702
You're using this girl to get
leads for your investigation.
118
00:04:54,726 --> 00:04:56,998
No, she's just a cool girl.
119
00:04:57,329 --> 00:04:59,649
- Barbara.
- I got to go.
120
00:04:59,689 --> 00:05:01,865
My dad's making me
get off the phone.
121
00:05:01,900 --> 00:05:03,700
No, my dad's worse.
122
00:05:04,188 --> 00:05:05,569
No, my dad's worse.
123
00:05:05,604 --> 00:05:08,772
Bye, Jamie. Mine's worse!
124
00:05:08,807 --> 00:05:10,340
Barbara,
I'm not happy with this.
125
00:05:10,375 --> 00:05:12,609
The first time you went through
high school was bad enough.
126
00:05:12,644 --> 00:05:13,944
At least then
I had the upper hand.
127
00:05:13,979 --> 00:05:16,812
This time is different.
You've got a gun.
128
00:05:17,616 --> 00:05:19,498
Charley: Fore!
129
00:05:23,311 --> 00:05:24,684
Excuse me.
130
00:05:33,608 --> 00:05:36,080
Hey, Harry. How's it going?
131
00:05:36,578 --> 00:05:39,145
A golf ball just crashed
through my window, Charles.
132
00:05:39,181 --> 00:05:41,548
Uh, you didn't have anything
to do with that, did you?
133
00:05:42,531 --> 00:05:45,575
No, Harry, I had nothing
to do with that.
134
00:05:46,989 --> 00:05:48,488
By the way,
did you happen to notice,
135
00:05:48,523 --> 00:05:51,214
did that ball hook
when it came through here?
136
00:05:52,494 --> 00:05:54,415
Charley, this is yours.
137
00:05:54,763 --> 00:05:57,139
Okay, I'll pay for your window.
138
00:05:57,966 --> 00:06:00,233
But, uh, would you mind
opening that door?
139
00:06:00,268 --> 00:06:02,192
I like to play through.
140
00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:05,415
- Charley, you are not...
- Shh.
141
00:06:06,708 --> 00:06:08,403
Okay, that's it.
142
00:06:12,014 --> 00:06:14,347
Goodbye, Charley. Ah.
143
00:06:14,383 --> 00:06:16,891
Sorry, Mr. Patrick.
144
00:06:18,286 --> 00:06:20,153
Barbara, are you expecting
145
00:06:20,188 --> 00:06:21,788
any of your little
high school friends
146
00:06:21,823 --> 00:06:23,957
- over this afternoon?
- No, why?
147
00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:26,032
Because there's a boy
who's been walking up and down
148
00:06:26,061 --> 00:06:28,390
in front of our house
for the last half an hour.
149
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,363
That's Darrell.
150
00:06:30,399 --> 00:06:32,766
He must have followed me
home from school.
151
00:06:32,801 --> 00:06:36,403
Damn, he's coming this way.
Hi, Darrell!
152
00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:38,505
Now, don't do anything
to blow my cover.
153
00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:40,774
Remember, I'm in high school,
I'm 17 years old,
154
00:06:40,809 --> 00:06:42,009
and my name is Barbara cavelli.
155
00:06:42,044 --> 00:06:43,722
And daddy's a jeweler.
156
00:06:45,528 --> 00:06:46,546
Hi.
157
00:06:46,581 --> 00:06:48,081
- Hi.
- How are you?
158
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,909
I was just out walking.
Is this your house?
159
00:06:51,853 --> 00:06:54,988
Dumb question. I mean,
you just walked out of it.
160
00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:56,289
You know, and right now
161
00:06:56,324 --> 00:06:59,873
that "is this your yard"
follow-up really seems stupid.
162
00:07:00,862 --> 00:07:02,337
Come on in, Darrell.
163
00:07:03,639 --> 00:07:05,834
So what are you doing?
164
00:07:06,068 --> 00:07:07,967
Uh, I was trying
to do my algebra.
165
00:07:08,003 --> 00:07:09,469
I'm pretty good at algebra.
166
00:07:09,504 --> 00:07:10,737
Could you use some help?
167
00:07:11,144 --> 00:07:12,937
- Yeah.
- Great.
168
00:07:13,075 --> 00:07:14,841
Although, I must say
I was rather intrigued
169
00:07:14,876 --> 00:07:16,943
by the point you made when
you stood up in class today
170
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,411
and yelled,
"what the hell is this?
171
00:07:18,447 --> 00:07:20,507
Real people don't need this."
172
00:07:23,385 --> 00:07:24,684
Can I get you a beer?
173
00:07:24,719 --> 00:07:26,704
Uh, root. Root beer.
174
00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:30,057
Barbara...
175
00:07:30,092 --> 00:07:31,491
Well, hey,
this must be your mom.
176
00:07:31,526 --> 00:07:33,117
Oh, my...
177
00:07:43,805 --> 00:07:45,205
Good morning, Laverne.
178
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:46,536
Shh. I'm a-readin'.
179
00:07:46,586 --> 00:07:47,957
Oh, sorry.
180
00:07:48,376 --> 00:07:50,132
Don't you want to know
what it is?
181
00:07:50,479 --> 00:07:51,611
Okay, what is it?
182
00:07:51,646 --> 00:07:53,435
Nosy, ain't you?
183
00:07:55,650 --> 00:07:57,951
It's a letter
from my mama in hickory.
184
00:07:57,986 --> 00:08:00,420
She sent me this
family picture album.
185
00:08:00,455 --> 00:08:02,989
Now I suppose you'll be wanting
to see all the pictures.
186
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,654
All right.
187
00:08:07,295 --> 00:08:08,661
Right here is my mama.
188
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:10,063
Oh, what a nice looking lady.
189
00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:11,397
Uh-huh, yeah.
190
00:08:11,433 --> 00:08:13,366
And, uh, let's see.
Here's grandma Hattie.
191
00:08:13,401 --> 00:08:15,165
Boy, she's a big 'un.
192
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:19,472
Once in '57 a hellacious
twister come through town,
193
00:08:19,508 --> 00:08:21,274
knock down houses,
uprooted trees,
194
00:08:21,309 --> 00:08:23,176
wiped out everything
except for grandma Hattie
195
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:26,342
and those 12 children
a-clinging to her fireplug legs.
196
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:29,949
Town pinned her with
a hickory medal of valor.
197
00:08:29,985 --> 00:08:31,518
Actually, they stuck it
right in her,
198
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,487
but she didn't feel a thing.
199
00:08:34,356 --> 00:08:35,822
You must be very proud.
200
00:08:35,857 --> 00:08:36,823
Uh-huh.
201
00:08:36,858 --> 00:08:38,558
So and here's Hattie's mama.
202
00:08:38,593 --> 00:08:39,828
Real thin.
203
00:08:40,195 --> 00:08:42,875
And, uh, Hattie's grandma.
204
00:08:43,765 --> 00:08:45,732
Wait a minute. Look at this.
205
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:47,755
She's a porker too.
206
00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:51,538
Oh, my lord.
207
00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:53,806
What? What's...
What's wrong, Laverne?
208
00:08:53,842 --> 00:08:56,142
Well, haven't you ever
heard of genetics?
209
00:08:56,178 --> 00:08:58,611
Obviously this fat thing
skips a generation,
210
00:08:58,647 --> 00:09:00,570
and now it's my turn.
211
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:04,050
Any day now I'm gonna
be holding a spear
212
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,930
and singing Wagner.
213
00:09:06,812 --> 00:09:08,788
Laverne, I happen to know
quite a bit about genetics.
214
00:09:08,820 --> 00:09:10,041
I'm a doctor.
215
00:09:10,070 --> 00:09:12,270
And what you're saying has no
scientific validity at all.
216
00:09:12,306 --> 00:09:13,405
Does to.
217
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,607
And to think I spent
my whole life exercising
218
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:18,009
and giving up desserts
all for naught.
219
00:09:18,045 --> 00:09:19,311
Not only am I doomed,
220
00:09:19,346 --> 00:09:21,747
I'm gonna pass this family curse
onto my children.
221
00:09:21,782 --> 00:09:24,606
And my really
big old fat grandchildren.
222
00:09:30,023 --> 00:09:31,923
There is a three-year
age difference
223
00:09:31,959 --> 00:09:33,859
between each boy
in the Parker family
224
00:09:33,894 --> 00:09:35,360
and his next older brother.
225
00:09:35,395 --> 00:09:37,362
If there are four boys
in the family
226
00:09:37,397 --> 00:09:39,865
and the sum of their ages is 38,
227
00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:43,201
find the age of the oldest
on his last birthday.
228
00:09:48,408 --> 00:09:50,709
Do we know these people?
229
00:09:50,744 --> 00:09:51,710
Barbara...
230
00:09:51,745 --> 00:09:52,844
This is crazy.
231
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,046
How can this kid not know
how old he is?
232
00:09:55,082 --> 00:09:58,118
Look at a birth certificate,
for god sakes.
233
00:09:58,519 --> 00:10:00,285
You hungry?
You want something to eat.
234
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:01,594
Sure.
235
00:10:07,027 --> 00:10:08,927
- Hi.
- Hi.
236
00:10:08,962 --> 00:10:10,362
Mm. Happy anniversary.
237
00:10:10,397 --> 00:10:11,663
What are you doing
here so early?
238
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:14,032
I've got a guy over from school.
We're studying.
239
00:10:14,067 --> 00:10:15,834
Besides, I'm gonna see you
in a couple of hours,
240
00:10:15,869 --> 00:10:17,235
and you're gonna blow my cover.
241
00:10:17,271 --> 00:10:19,391
Yeah, well, that's what I came
to talk to you about.
242
00:10:19,528 --> 00:10:20,692
I can't go out tonight.
243
00:10:20,743 --> 00:10:21,976
What?
244
00:10:22,253 --> 00:10:23,973
Well, you'll never guess
who came to town.
245
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:25,943
Magic Johnson.
246
00:10:29,020 --> 00:10:30,920
This excuse gets better,
doesn't it?
247
00:10:30,955 --> 00:10:32,321
A buddy of mine at work,
248
00:10:32,357 --> 00:10:33,489
he got tickets for me and him.
249
00:10:33,524 --> 00:10:34,564
I mean, this is the Lakers.
250
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:35,625
Seats on the floor.
251
00:10:35,660 --> 00:10:37,126
Michael, it's our anniversary.
252
00:10:37,161 --> 00:10:39,362
I was really looking forward
to tonight.
253
00:10:39,397 --> 00:10:41,264
I was too, and I promise
I'll make it up to you,
254
00:10:41,299 --> 00:10:42,932
but you understand, don't you?
255
00:10:42,967 --> 00:10:43,933
Sure.
256
00:10:43,968 --> 00:10:46,265
Ah, I knew you would. Thanks.
257
00:10:50,908 --> 00:10:52,074
So where were we?
258
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:53,843
Listen, um,
when you were in the kitchen,
259
00:10:53,878 --> 00:10:56,045
I went out on the porch,
and your dog got out.
260
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:57,113
Is he still gone?
261
00:10:57,148 --> 00:10:58,482
No, no, he came back.
262
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:00,983
How many copies
of the afternoon paper
263
00:11:01,019 --> 00:11:02,545
do you people take?
264
00:11:06,878 --> 00:11:08,090
Are you okay?
265
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,158
Sure.
266
00:11:09,193 --> 00:11:10,993
'Cause you seem kind of upset.
267
00:11:11,029 --> 00:11:13,094
Maybe I am a little.
268
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,072
Well, I didn't mean
to embarrass you.
269
00:11:15,333 --> 00:11:17,433
I just notice stuff like that.
270
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,892
We don't have to talk about it
if you don't want to.
271
00:11:22,073 --> 00:11:24,540
Well, got a lot of work to do.
272
00:11:24,575 --> 00:11:25,875
If you don't pass this test,
273
00:11:25,910 --> 00:11:27,917
they won't let you go
to the dance on Saturday.
274
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:31,747
You are going to the dance,
aren't you?
275
00:11:31,783 --> 00:11:33,866
Well, I haven't really
thought about it.
276
00:11:33,898 --> 00:11:35,757
I'm part of
the refreshment committee.
277
00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:38,621
It's gonna look
278
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,289
pretty prestigious
in the yearbook, huh?
279
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:43,450
"Darrell Davidson...
Honor society, punch monitor."
280
00:11:45,396 --> 00:11:47,705
Anyway, would you?
281
00:11:48,199 --> 00:11:49,398
Think about it?
282
00:11:49,434 --> 00:11:50,666
You mean go with you?
283
00:11:50,702 --> 00:11:52,335
Well, we don't have
to dance or anything.
284
00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:53,869
I mean, not that I don't dance.
285
00:11:53,905 --> 00:11:56,539
But we wouldn't have to.
But we could.
286
00:11:56,708 --> 00:11:58,407
Unless you don't dance.
287
00:11:59,077 --> 00:12:00,776
This is getting
real complicated.
288
00:12:00,812 --> 00:12:02,684
Let's... let's just forget it.
289
00:12:03,344 --> 00:12:05,155
Darrell, I'll go with you.
290
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,248
- Really?
- Sure. It'll be fun.
291
00:12:09,083 --> 00:12:10,049
Okay.
292
00:12:10,084 --> 00:12:11,050
Okay.
293
00:12:11,085 --> 00:12:12,778
Let's get back to this.
294
00:12:23,419 --> 00:12:25,565
Chocolate. Chocolate with nuts.
295
00:12:25,591 --> 00:12:27,658
Dark chocolate, white chocolate.
296
00:12:27,693 --> 00:12:28,893
Chocolate-covered cherries.
297
00:12:28,928 --> 00:12:30,795
Holston boy, room one.
298
00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:33,631
Laverne, I have never
known you to eat like this.
299
00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:35,966
Well, if it's my destiny
to be jumbo sized,
300
00:12:36,002 --> 00:12:37,979
I'm not gonna fight it anymore.
301
00:12:38,805 --> 00:12:40,871
Laverne, you can't let looking
through some picture album
302
00:12:40,907 --> 00:12:42,106
change your entire life.
303
00:12:42,141 --> 00:12:45,176
No, no, if I'm gonna
live in fat city,
304
00:12:45,211 --> 00:12:47,249
I might as well be the mayor.
305
00:12:48,681 --> 00:12:51,115
All right, fine, go ahead,
eat your chocolates.
306
00:12:51,150 --> 00:12:52,216
Become grandma Hattie.
307
00:12:52,251 --> 00:12:53,217
But remember this.
308
00:12:53,252 --> 00:12:54,819
This does not have to happen.
309
00:12:54,854 --> 00:12:56,287
Laverne,
you're making it happen.
310
00:12:56,322 --> 00:12:57,574
Leave me alone.
311
00:12:58,041 --> 00:13:01,325
Sorry. Obviously this fat thing
comes easy enough.
312
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,562
It's the jolly thing
gonna take a little bit of work.
313
00:13:10,002 --> 00:13:11,802
Barbara, how much longer
314
00:13:11,838 --> 00:13:13,700
is this school thing
gonna be going on?
315
00:13:13,739 --> 00:13:14,778
Not long.
316
00:13:14,817 --> 00:13:17,141
I put the word out that I'm
looking to buy a computer,
317
00:13:17,176 --> 00:13:18,776
so now I'm just looking
for someone to take the bait.
318
00:13:18,811 --> 00:13:19,818
Why?
319
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,145
Well, it's a little
disruptive, dear.
320
00:13:21,180 --> 00:13:22,848
I mean, I can't use the phone.
321
00:13:22,888 --> 00:13:24,849
And this has not been easy
on your sister.
322
00:13:24,884 --> 00:13:26,439
I mean your mother.
323
00:13:33,359 --> 00:13:35,946
Darrell, uh,
what are you doing here?
324
00:13:36,395 --> 00:13:37,636
Well, I, uh...
325
00:13:38,044 --> 00:13:40,879
I just stopped by
to give you something.
326
00:13:41,367 --> 00:13:42,333
Oh.
327
00:13:42,368 --> 00:13:43,568
I was just thinking, you know,
328
00:13:43,603 --> 00:13:45,136
it must be hard
to come to a new school
329
00:13:45,171 --> 00:13:46,470
and fit in and everything.
330
00:13:46,506 --> 00:13:48,606
Anyway, this may seem
kind of silly to you,
331
00:13:48,641 --> 00:13:51,597
but it's been exactly one week
since you came to school.
332
00:13:51,911 --> 00:13:54,027
It's kind of your anniversary.
333
00:13:55,948 --> 00:13:58,382
Oh, Darrell, that's so sweet
of you to remember.
334
00:13:58,417 --> 00:13:59,650
It's no big deal.
335
00:13:59,685 --> 00:14:02,300
I stayed after a couple days
and made it in woodshop.
336
00:14:05,057 --> 00:14:06,669
It's a keychain.
337
00:14:11,235 --> 00:14:12,320
Oh, Darrell.
338
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,552
Do you have any keys
to put on it?
339
00:14:13,587 --> 00:14:14,679
Yeah, I do.
340
00:14:14,703 --> 00:14:15,718
I don't know where
they are right now, but...
341
00:14:15,758 --> 00:14:17,861
Well, you'll never have
that problem again.
342
00:14:18,782 --> 00:14:22,116
Listen, Darrell, thank you.
But this is...
343
00:14:22,152 --> 00:14:23,117
you're welcome.
344
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:24,118
Listen, I got to go now.
345
00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:25,826
I'll see you, Barbara.
346
00:14:26,389 --> 00:14:28,850
Have a nice evening,
Mrs. cavelli.
347
00:14:32,529 --> 00:14:34,195
Oh, boy, this is a problem.
348
00:14:34,231 --> 00:14:35,964
I think he's really
getting the wrong idea.
349
00:14:35,999 --> 00:14:36,999
What am I gonna do?
350
00:14:37,033 --> 00:14:38,333
Barbara, as your sister,
351
00:14:38,368 --> 00:14:39,701
I can help you with this.
352
00:14:39,736 --> 00:14:41,035
However, as your mother,
353
00:14:41,071 --> 00:14:43,804
I'd like to do something
to scar you emotionally.
354
00:14:45,575 --> 00:14:46,541
Barbara.
355
00:14:46,576 --> 00:14:48,209
Barbara, I'm here.
356
00:14:48,245 --> 00:14:49,344
Hi.
357
00:14:49,379 --> 00:14:50,478
Okay, I am here.
358
00:14:50,513 --> 00:14:52,247
It is officially
our anniversary.
359
00:14:52,282 --> 00:14:53,915
And we're gonna make up
for the other night.
360
00:14:53,950 --> 00:14:55,283
Great. Where are we going?
361
00:14:55,318 --> 00:14:57,981
Oh, I thought maybe
you'd have a place in mind.
362
00:14:58,221 --> 00:15:00,355
Oh. Okay.
363
00:15:00,390 --> 00:15:02,023
Uh, how about Antonio's?
364
00:15:02,058 --> 00:15:03,091
That's where we met.
365
00:15:03,126 --> 00:15:05,159
Ah, gee, hon,
that's kind of far.
366
00:15:05,937 --> 00:15:07,662
Well, there's always berenger's.
367
00:15:07,697 --> 00:15:09,097
Ah, I'd need a tie.
368
00:15:09,132 --> 00:15:10,398
We'd have to stop off
at my house.
369
00:15:10,433 --> 00:15:12,333
Well, Michael,
I wouldn't want to put you out.
370
00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:13,735
Oh, oh, Barbara,
come on, come on.
371
00:15:13,770 --> 00:15:15,203
Don't get upset.
It's our anniversary.
372
00:15:15,238 --> 00:15:16,204
Let's have fun.
373
00:15:16,239 --> 00:15:17,505
We'll go to squire's.
374
00:15:17,540 --> 00:15:19,140
It's close, it's casual.
It'll be easy.
375
00:15:19,175 --> 00:15:20,475
You want to go to squire's?
376
00:15:20,510 --> 00:15:22,777
Yeah. This is gonna be fun.
377
00:15:22,812 --> 00:15:25,113
You know, uh,
I was gonna buy you flowers,
378
00:15:25,148 --> 00:15:26,447
but, just my luck,
379
00:15:26,483 --> 00:15:28,977
there was no one at the bottom
of the off-ramp tonight.
380
00:15:32,856 --> 00:15:34,559
Come on, come on. Let's go.
381
00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:36,766
Okay.
382
00:15:42,532 --> 00:15:43,932
What am I doing?
383
00:15:43,967 --> 00:15:45,333
What do you mean?
384
00:15:45,368 --> 00:15:46,634
I don't want to go to squire's.
385
00:15:46,670 --> 00:15:48,236
I don't want to make this easy.
386
00:15:48,271 --> 00:15:50,672
And I don't want to be
celebrating our anniversary
387
00:15:50,707 --> 00:15:51,673
on the wrong day.
388
00:15:51,708 --> 00:15:53,708
It is not six months, Michael.
389
00:15:53,743 --> 00:15:55,209
It's six months and two days.
390
00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:57,011
Okay, two days.
What's the big deal?
391
00:15:57,047 --> 00:15:58,279
I don't get it.
392
00:15:58,315 --> 00:16:00,715
That's the problem.
You don't get it.
393
00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:03,518
I have been making excuses
for you for a long time,
394
00:16:03,553 --> 00:16:04,919
and I don't even know why.
395
00:16:04,955 --> 00:16:07,989
Somewhere along the line,
I lowered my standards.
396
00:16:08,024 --> 00:16:10,124
I forgot there's
such a thing as romance,
397
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,627
and that men can be
thoughtful and attentive,
398
00:16:12,662 --> 00:16:14,696
and know the difference
between six months
399
00:16:14,731 --> 00:16:16,130
and six months and two days.
400
00:16:16,166 --> 00:16:17,598
Barbara,
you don't mean any of this.
401
00:16:17,634 --> 00:16:18,977
Yes, I do.
402
00:16:20,737 --> 00:16:22,236
It took me 15 years,
403
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:24,439
but I finally got something
out of high school.
404
00:16:24,474 --> 00:16:26,045
Barbara.
405
00:16:27,310 --> 00:16:28,795
Goodbye, Michael.
406
00:16:41,591 --> 00:16:42,857
You're kidding.
407
00:16:42,892 --> 00:16:44,692
No, I just saw her putting
handcuffs on the guy.
408
00:16:44,728 --> 00:16:45,693
I can't believe it.
409
00:16:45,729 --> 00:16:46,694
The new girl's a cop.
410
00:16:46,730 --> 00:16:47,895
You mean that whole thing
411
00:16:47,931 --> 00:16:49,597
about being stupid in math
was just a cover?
412
00:16:49,632 --> 00:16:51,132
I don't think so.
413
00:16:51,167 --> 00:16:53,001
Hey, have you guys seen Darrell?
414
00:16:53,036 --> 00:16:54,435
Not me.
415
00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:57,232
Why don't you put
an apb out on him?
416
00:16:57,540 --> 00:16:59,173
- Darrell.
- Oh, great, Barbara, listen.
417
00:16:59,209 --> 00:17:00,975
What color dress
are you wearing to the dance?
418
00:17:01,011 --> 00:17:02,744
I need to know
so your corsage won't clash.
419
00:17:02,779 --> 00:17:04,612
Hey, Darrell,
I wouldn't say anything
420
00:17:04,647 --> 00:17:06,414
till she reads you your rights.
421
00:17:07,031 --> 00:17:08,349
What's she talking about?
422
00:17:08,385 --> 00:17:10,485
Darrell,
I'm not really a student.
423
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:11,919
You know the kids
they just busted?
424
00:17:11,955 --> 00:17:12,920
She's a cop.
425
00:17:12,956 --> 00:17:13,956
She's undercover.
426
00:17:13,990 --> 00:17:16,133
She was putting us on
the whole time.
427
00:17:18,561 --> 00:17:21,062
Darrell, wait. I'm sorry.
428
00:17:21,097 --> 00:17:23,264
I wanted to tell you,
but I couldn't.
429
00:17:23,299 --> 00:17:24,732
Don't be angry.
430
00:17:24,768 --> 00:17:26,297
I'm not angry.
431
00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:27,902
I'm happy for you.
432
00:17:27,937 --> 00:17:29,904
I mean,
what a relief this must be.
433
00:17:29,939 --> 00:17:31,339
Your job is done.
434
00:17:31,374 --> 00:17:33,741
You can go home
to your real friends now.
435
00:17:33,777 --> 00:17:35,076
You don't have
to fake it anymore.
436
00:17:35,111 --> 00:17:36,835
You don't have to study.
437
00:17:37,113 --> 00:17:39,080
You don't have to go
to high school dances
438
00:17:39,115 --> 00:17:40,314
with stupid little kids.
439
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:42,114
- Darrell...
- Leave me alone.
440
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:46,354
Okay, Weston, all ready to go.
441
00:17:46,389 --> 00:17:48,322
Give me your keys
and we'll load up.
442
00:18:00,203 --> 00:18:02,003
Oh, now, Laverne,
good, you're back.
443
00:18:02,038 --> 00:18:03,137
Some lunch.
444
00:18:03,173 --> 00:18:04,472
Sure, they call it
all you can eat,
445
00:18:04,507 --> 00:18:06,140
but after you've had
three or four servings
446
00:18:06,176 --> 00:18:07,141
of steak and shrimp,
447
00:18:07,177 --> 00:18:08,810
they start slowing down
them plates.
448
00:18:08,845 --> 00:18:10,812
Laverne, we have to talk.
449
00:18:10,847 --> 00:18:12,113
Save your breath.
450
00:18:12,148 --> 00:18:15,216
I'm gonna face my destiny
with my head held high,
451
00:18:15,251 --> 00:18:16,784
and a hand full of ding dongs
452
00:18:16,820 --> 00:18:19,583
clutched to my soon
to be ample bosom.
453
00:18:20,138 --> 00:18:22,190
Laverne, I have something
interesting to show you.
454
00:18:22,225 --> 00:18:23,424
While you were at lunch,
I took the Liberty
455
00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:25,295
of taking a closer look
at your family album.
456
00:18:25,318 --> 00:18:26,928
I hope you didn't touch
that licorice stick
457
00:18:26,963 --> 00:18:28,774
I was using as a bookmark.
458
00:18:29,626 --> 00:18:31,995
- Uh, no.
- Good. Where is it?
459
00:18:32,168 --> 00:18:34,278
Laverne, now listen.
460
00:18:34,501 --> 00:18:36,270
I discovered
something very interesting
461
00:18:36,306 --> 00:18:37,839
about your father's side
of the family.
462
00:18:37,874 --> 00:18:39,373
Now this is a picture
of your daddy, right?
463
00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:40,508
Right.
464
00:18:40,543 --> 00:18:42,343
Okay, now it says here
that this is his mother.
465
00:18:42,378 --> 00:18:43,511
Skinniest woman I ever seen.
466
00:18:43,546 --> 00:18:47,174
Yes, now, this
is a picture of her mother.
467
00:18:47,208 --> 00:18:48,349
It's normal.
468
00:18:48,384 --> 00:18:50,084
But this is her mother.
469
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:51,519
Even skinnier.
470
00:18:51,554 --> 00:18:53,221
Precisely.
You see, now, Laverne,
471
00:18:53,256 --> 00:18:55,389
every other woman on your
mother's side of the family
472
00:18:55,425 --> 00:18:57,225
may be fat,
473
00:18:57,260 --> 00:18:59,393
but every other woman on your
father's side of the family
474
00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:00,962
is thin as a rail.
475
00:19:00,997 --> 00:19:02,864
Laverne, the science of genetics
476
00:19:02,899 --> 00:19:04,398
is an extremely complex...
477
00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:07,535
So what you're saying
is my daddy's skinny side
478
00:19:07,570 --> 00:19:09,137
cancels out my mama's fat side,
479
00:19:09,172 --> 00:19:11,072
leaving me smack in the middle...
480
00:19:11,107 --> 00:19:13,474
A svelte and shapely Laverne.
481
00:19:18,948 --> 00:19:20,753
Close enough.
482
00:19:21,584 --> 00:19:23,591
Well, I want to thank you,
doctor.
483
00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:26,854
For the first time in your life,
you've made a little sense.
484
00:19:44,003 --> 00:19:46,624
This is your
vice principal speaking.
485
00:19:47,173 --> 00:19:49,740
Uh, once again,
I'm sorry that our usual dj
486
00:19:49,775 --> 00:19:50,874
couldn't be with us tonight,
487
00:19:50,910 --> 00:19:53,243
but, hey, I figure
this is a good chance
488
00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:54,578
for us all
to get to know each other
489
00:19:54,613 --> 00:19:56,253
a little better, right?
490
00:19:57,350 --> 00:20:01,986
So just have a good time,
and remember,
491
00:20:02,021 --> 00:20:05,294
one wrong move and I can
make your life living hell.
492
00:20:06,192 --> 00:20:09,126
This next song is by...
493
00:20:09,161 --> 00:20:11,261
Well, what appears to be
a woman with a snake
494
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:13,511
growing out of her left nostril.
495
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,884
Enjoy.
496
00:20:31,951 --> 00:20:33,460
Hi.
497
00:20:33,819 --> 00:20:35,329
Hi.
498
00:20:36,198 --> 00:20:37,955
Nice dress.
499
00:20:37,990 --> 00:20:39,464
Thanks.
500
00:20:41,634 --> 00:20:43,260
You're really angry
with me, huh?
501
00:20:43,295 --> 00:20:44,626
Yes.
502
00:20:44,964 --> 00:20:46,864
Actually,
I'm not even speaking to you.
503
00:20:46,899 --> 00:20:49,299
I just feel there's a certain
social responsibility
504
00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:51,539
that goes with
this refreshment stand.
505
00:20:52,886 --> 00:20:54,738
Darrell, I went home
this afternoon,
506
00:20:54,774 --> 00:20:56,907
and I spent some time
trying to imagine
507
00:20:56,942 --> 00:20:58,008
what you might be feeling.
508
00:20:58,044 --> 00:20:59,881
Felt confused?
509
00:21:00,246 --> 00:21:01,413
Yes.
510
00:21:01,454 --> 00:21:02,780
And betrayed?
511
00:21:02,815 --> 00:21:04,014
Yes.
512
00:21:04,050 --> 00:21:05,549
And as though
you were looking ahead
513
00:21:05,584 --> 00:21:06,750
to countless sleepless nights
514
00:21:06,786 --> 00:21:08,699
filled with untold anguish?
515
00:21:09,255 --> 00:21:11,362
Well, I only had an hour.
516
00:21:13,793 --> 00:21:15,526
I should have known
that someone like you
517
00:21:15,561 --> 00:21:17,127
wouldn't like someone like me.
518
00:21:17,163 --> 00:21:19,696
Darrell,
that's where you're wrong.
519
00:21:19,732 --> 00:21:21,331
If it weren't
for this age difference,
520
00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:22,966
you'd be exactly the kind of guy
521
00:21:23,002 --> 00:21:24,334
I'd be looking for.
522
00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:27,881
You're sweet and sensitive
and romantic.
523
00:21:28,652 --> 00:21:31,642
I wish some of the girls
around here felt that way.
524
00:21:31,677 --> 00:21:36,246
They will.
Just give 'em time to grow up.
525
00:21:37,516 --> 00:21:39,944
Took me 15 years.
526
00:21:41,921 --> 00:21:45,189
You know, this is probably
my last night in high school,
527
00:21:45,224 --> 00:21:48,034
and I'd like to make it special.
528
00:21:49,295 --> 00:21:51,328
So can I have this dance?
529
00:21:54,733 --> 00:21:56,259
Yeah.
530
00:21:56,309 --> 00:22:00,859
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