Original subtitles

Life goes on

and so do we

just how we do it

is no mystery

sometimes the answer

can be hard to find

that's something I will never be

I'm always here

for anything that you need

Rain or shine

I'll be the one

to share it all

as life goes on

we share it all

as life goes on

Ahhh.

Ah-ha.

Ah.

I heard that, dreyfuss,

and I know what you're up to.

You're going into your pathetic

"pity me, pity me" look.

Gonna try to con me out of half my dinner,

when you've already refused to eat the dinner

I made for you.

No way, pal.

Not gonna happen. Not this time.

Finished.

Boy, you are good.

Oh, here. All right, go.

No more.

Hi. You're going to love this.

Hi. Okay.

Daddy, I don't usually come over here

talking personal triumph

but today, I can actually say

I think maybe, perhaps, I might have a little bit.

Of a personal triumph.

Sort of.

How can you be so sure?

Look.

This is a portfolio of pictures I took

for my photography class.

Oh, dear, that's nice.

Why, I like this landscape.

It looks like an ansel Adams photograph.

It is.

I took a picture of one for practice.

But what I came here to tell you is...

What are you eating?

Uh, nuked bacon and pop-up waffles.

You call that dinner?

I call that breakfast.

I'm having breakfast for dinner.

Why?

I had dinner for lunch.

So let me guess.

You had lunch for breakfast.

No, for breakfast, I had chocolate cake.

I am dumping this,

and we are going out for a decent meal.

All right, excuse me, now.

Before you dump that, I would...

Look over my left shoulder.

Awww.

No.

It's not good for him,

and it is not good for you.

Hi. I'm in a hurry.

Here's those insurance forms you wanted me to sign.

I can't stay. Mack's waiting for me.

Whoa, wait, mack?

I never heard mack before. Who's mack?

My new guy. And don't ask me about him.

You don't wanna know.

Ah, no. Sounds like a big bike.

It's his Harley-Davidson.

Oh, yeah. Red beard, tank top.

Good catch.

You might ask him to pull up his pants a little.

He's getting impatient. I gotta go.

Wait a minute. Wait, wait.

What happened to hello?

Hello?

Hello to your sister. Hello.

It's an old American greeting.

Harley used to say it to Davidson.

He'd never say it to Carol.

All right, come on. Let's go, please.

What's going on? Come on, come on.

Just talk it through now. You'll feel better.

I promise you will both feel better.

Your daughter...

Is the most irresponsible, destructive,

careless brat in the whole world.

Oh, great, from the overly sensitive,

hysterical queen of exaggeration.

She borrows my brand-new car,

and the first thing she does

is put a gigantic dent in it.

It was not a dent.

It was a ding.

- Dent! - Ding!

No, stop, fine. No, you were right.

The silent treatment is much better.

Come on, let's go.

I will never let you borrow anything again.

- Ding! - Go, mack is waiting.

You know how he gets. Very impatient.

Well, that was touching.

Well, what is this personal triumph?

Ok.

There's this new art gallery,

a very important gallery opening in Orlando.

And as part of a special one-day exhibition only,

they're going to hang five pictures

from our photography class.

And one of them is yours!

- Two. - Two!

That's twice as good as one.

They want me there for the opening.

Daddy, I know it is impossible

for you to take time off,

but I can't bear the thought of standing there

while 200 strangers criticize my work.

I need a hand to hold.

I need a knuckle to bite on that's not my own.

My knuckle is yours.

When is this?

- The 19th. - The 19th?

I will clear my office calendar.

Ah, ha, ha, ha! You're really going?

Yeah, come on.

We'll fly up to Orlando.

I'll rent a car.

I love rental cars.

People steal 'em, you don't care.

And then after the gallery, we'll go out.

We'll have a really kind of special dinner together.

We'll make it a real father-daughter,

just the two of us together day, all right?

Thank you, daddy.

No, don't say thank you.

You say you're welcome.

I'm doing the thank-you here.

You just said you needed your daddy's knuckle.

Whoa, that's so nice.

Take your pick.

Laverne, did you check on the 19th?

You have a 12-hour day on the 19th,

plus a hospital board meetin'.

Downright impossible for me to clear

that busy a schedule on this short notice.

Clear it, and you get the day off, too.

- Cleared. - Mm-hmm.

Ah, senora arrosco.

Aqui es El prescripcion for Esteban.

Oh, uh, Esteban.

Uh, uh, hasta la...

Vaya con...

Whatever, whatever.

Hasta la...

Hasta la...

Vista, hasta la vista.

Vista, vista.

Daddy.

You'll never guess what happened to me.

Obviously, you've given up mack.

No, I'm working undercover.

Do you remember when I got shot?

Yeah, I still remember that day.

It took the paramedics

three days, to get my heart out of my throat.

Well, also, because I saved my partner's life

in that operation,

the police commissioner is giving me

the gold medal of valor.

The highest award they give!

Me, I'm getting it!

I am so impressed.

That's very impressive, dear.

This isn't just one of those atta-boy awards.

You know, where they give you a little pat on the back.

Winning this medal is major police stuff.

I'm a monster cop.

Everything I ever wanted in a daughter.

Oh, honey. I am really...

I'm very proud of you.

And I can take anyone I want

to the ceremony.

And guess who I wanna take.

Does he wear his pants at half mast?

No.

Then it's me! Ah...

Good! When, when is this?

- Next Wednesday. - I'm there.

Thanks, daddy!

Oh, honey, could you shift a little bit?

Your gun is in my ribs.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, thanks so much.

No, no, you say you're welcome.

I'm the thank-you here, for including your daddy

in such an important day.

I love you.

Ah!

Ah.

Listen, Harry Weston.

Harry Weston.

When they hand out trophies for father of the year,

you're gonna need a moving Van

to get all yours home.

Yes, Mrs. gossett. That'll be fine.

- Laverne, i... - Excuse me.

Well, spit it out.

Oh.

I need Dr. Gordon

to fill in for me next Wednesday.

I have a very important day with Barbara.

I know.

I'm already takin' care of that.

That's right, Mrs. gossett.

Junior's next appointment will be with Dr. Gordon.

That's right, next Wednesday, the 19th.

Uh-huh.

The 19th is Wednesday?

Yes.

So that would make Wednesday the 19.

Can't slip anything past you.

No, I mean, I didn't know

Wednesday was the 19th.

I have the thing with Carol,

and I have the thing with Barbara the same day.

I have the Carol thing and the Barbara thing.

Sounds to me like you're over-thanged.

I mean, I-i can't be in two cities

at the same time.

No matter which one I choose,

they're gonna think I'm playing favorites.

So which one's it gonna be?

Agh, it's like the old riddle.

You have two daughters drowning,

which one do you save?

Well, what's the answer?

That's it.

There is no answer.

Well, that's a hell of a dumb riddle.

Oh, this is nice.

So you and mom used to come here?

All the time.

Dr. Weston.

It's soooo good to see you.

Albert, Albert.

This is my daughter, Carol.

Oh, of course, of course.

Of course!

Yes, well, we've reserved your usual table for you.

We still remember here.

Please.

Now, I want you and your daughter

to have a magnificent luncheon.

That's an order. Enjoy.

Enjoy.

Enjoy!

Really, enjoy.

Actually, I don't come here for the food.

I come for the full-body massage.

I was so surprised when you called me for lunch.

This will be fun.

Well, this is a little more than lunch, dear.

I-I wanted to ask you something important.

Our special today is Maine lobster.

Something funny about lobster?

No, something wonderful about your mother.

Tell me.

Well, I don't know.

One night we came here for lobster.

That was before your sister, Emily was born.

Now, halfway through the main course,

your mother looks at me and says,

"I want another baby."

Next thing I know,

her hand is under my lobster bib,

and she's unbuttoning my shirt.

Mom? My mom?

Hey, the way your mother could unbutton a shirt

was one of the reasons I married her.

Anyway, I mean, I say, "what, here?"

She goes, "no, that little motel across the street."

"You check in as Dr. Smith.

I'll come as a bimbo named mitzy."

Next thing I know, I am.

I'm up there. I'm at the desk.

And I'm signing the register.

And... but I notice this clerk is staring.

So I whispered to your mother,

"why is he staring?"

And she says "because darling..."

"You're checking in for a quickie,

and you're wearing a lobster bib."

She knew it.

She let me wear that bib over to the motel.

Oh, daddy.

You're so lucky to have such wonderful memories

of the good times in your life.

I have so few.

You know something, daddy?

That's what our trip to Orlando this week

is gonna be all about.

My memory.

Well, what is it?

Wh-what?

You said you had

something important you wanted to ask me.

What is it?

Who do you like better?

Siskel or ebert?

I'll get you that special dessert you ordered,

Dr. Weston.

I can see why mom loved it here.

You must have wonderful memories of this place.

No, no memories.

Not at all. Nothing.

I don't remember Albert.

Well, I'm having fun.

Well...

For you.

Because you're getting that medal.

A watch.

"My hero love, dad."

Made it up myself.

You're not coming.

What?

My awards ceremony.

You're not coming, are you?

Well, it's not that I'm not coming.

Believe me, no. It's not that.

Ah... no, I mean, I mean, I wanna be there

more than anything in the world, dear.

It's... it's just that I can,

so yes, I'm not coming.

That has to be the worst excuse

I ever made up in my life.

- Daddy! - Honey, Barbara, listen.

I had already promised your sister

I would go with her to Orlando

to see a couple of her photographs exhibited.

I am getting the highest medal

the police department can give.

You think it's more important to see

a few photographs?

By a woman who photographs the inside

of your maytag washer

and calls it "a mother's womb"?

I thought I recognized my socks.

Daddy, don't you know

how you're making me feel?

Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.

Come on, honey.

You know how easily your sister gets hurt.

Oh, Carol's weak, and Barbara's strong.

You can step on Barbara

because she's always a good sport.

Where is it written that I can't be hurt?

I'm hurting now.

Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.

Look, honey, Barbara...

wait, she screams more,

and then she gets more.

Maybe I should learn to scream more.

Good for you.

Listen, excuse me,

I'm having enough trouble here

without having an argument at your table, too.

Please. Now come on, honey.

And worse!

You thought you could get away with it

by bribing me.

I don't want the watch.

Hmmm.

For she's a jolly good hero

for she's a jolly good hero

for she's a jolly goo...

Albert, do not touch me.

Come on, dreyfuss.

Give me emotion.

Give me anger.

Work with me.

Well, well.

What have we here?

Man's best friend with the worlds worst date.

Here, Charlie.

What's this?

Still life with moron.

I want copies.

Where's your dad?

Upstairs getting dressed.

Is he in a good mood?

I got a favor to ask him.

Sure.

Good, then he's not still moping

over that thing with Barbara.

What are you talking about?

Oh, ho, ho!

You don't know.

I'm in on something really good about Barbara,

and you don't have a clue.

So tell me. What?

I know something you don't know

Hey, come on, let's go here.

Hi, Charlie, how you doing?

Hey, buddy.

I got a favor to ask you.

I came over to borrow something.

- What? - Your house.

- My house? - You're going away today.

It's not like you need it.

What would you want my house for?

It's kinda personal.

I'd rather not get into it.

This is four bedrooms, right?

No, Charlie, you may not have my house.

Geez, come on. I'm gonna give it back.

Goodbye, Charlie. Goodbye.

Okay.

But you better put a note on the door.

There's a lotta people coming over in togas.

What's up, daddy?

What's this problem with Barbara

Charlie was talking about?

Oh, I don't know. It's nothing.

She's getting a police medal right about now.

I'm not there, and she's angry.

Come on, let's go.

- A medal? - The gold medal of valor.

Come on, let's go.

Isn't that kind of important?

It's the highest level they give.

Come, let's go.

What kind of a father are you?

I beg your pardon?

This has got to be

the most important day of her life.

And you're not there?

I had already promised I would go with you.

That poor little Barb.

Poor little Barb?

What's going on? Who are you?

Daddy, even I know the importance

of a gold medal of valor

over a couple of photographs.

Well, I didn't think you could handle it, dear,

because you know how emotional you...

oh, oh, oh. Now I understand.

I am the overemotional, neurotic, weak one.

Well, yes.

You give me no credit for being adult.

You have absolutely no idea

who or what your daughters are.

And I resent what you have done to me.

And my little sister.

Do you believe this?

Excuse me, daddy of the year.

You gonna hide out in this office

all day long?

Do we have any aspirins in this damn office

that aren't orange flavored?

Can't figure out how to get back

in the good graces of your daughters, huh?

None of them are talking to me.

Ugh.

I hate aspirins you have to chew.

Blech.

You can warn Esteban, the arrosco kid.

Didn't I see him last week?

His mama says he keeps spitting out

the medicine you prescribed.

She thought he'd better talk

to the doctor personally,

mano a mano.

I'll go with you and translate.

Laverne, I can handle this.

My Spanish is getting much better, thank you.

Yeah, I know.

Buenos d?as, Esteban.

El medico dice buenos d?as, Esteban.

Laverne, you don't have to translate Spanish

into Spanish.

I'm just lettin' him know I'm the translator.

Now, Esteban, uh... Pffft.

Ahora, Esteban.

Uh... Pffft.

Laverne.

If you'll stop having trouble in English,

I can go faster in Spanish.

Laverne, hasta la vista.

Okay, Esteban.

Usted, mi, dos amigos.

?No dos amigos?

Okay, look.

No, no, let's talk. Let's talk.

Uh, hablamos.

Nosotros hablamos...

Mono a mono.

You're giggling, I'm giggling.

I don't know why.

Laverne, mono a mono.

What did I say?

Monkey to monkey.

Monkey to monkey. Well.

Whoo, yeah.

Harry, usted es kooky.

Okay, Esteban.

Now, usted es un...

Mono poquito.

But if you...

Medicino,

mono grande.

Si, king Kong.

Mighty Jose-ong, eh?

Ah, bien. Por favor.

Bueno, ?eh? See that, eh?

All right. Laverne.

He'll be just fine with his medicine.

Thank you.

Oh, bueno, Esteban.

Vamonos.

Adios, amigo.

Harry.

Harry.

How is it I can communicate better

with a 10-year-old boy in a language I don't know

than I can with my own daughters?

Because in this office,

you're good at what you do.

Doctorin'.

So stop feelin' guilty.

You can't be good at everything,

especially daughters.

Well, it makes me mad.

I should not be having this problem.

Even the good lord Jesus

said, "oh, god, why hast thou forsaken me?"

Yeah, and?

Well, if he was upset with his father,

what chance you think you got with your kids?

Dr. Weston.

Eh...

Um, they're both here.

Albert, I am facing two very angry daughters.

I give you permission to hug me.

Oh.

Good luck.

Good evening.

Would you like your menus now?

Uh, no, not... not yet please.

- Daddy... - But..

Not a word. Don't say a word.

- The only reason... - Not a... pro...

Not a word until I'm through.

I'm the only one talking here.

Menus, Dr. Weston.

Uh, no, no, not yet.

Now, I want the two of you to know

that because of what's happened,

I am very grateful.

- Grateful? - Did I ask for an echo?

If I wanna hear my words come back to me,

I'll go to Switzerland and yodel.

Are we ready for the specials?

No, sir, I'll... I'll let you know when,

all right?

Now.

These last couple of days, I've learned a lot.

I've learned that you two

are much more loyal to each other

than I ever imagined.

That Carol is a much stronger person

than I ever imagined.

Barbara much more sensitive than I ever imagined.

This is good.

Doesn't say much for my imagination,

but this is good.

But what's even better

is that the lesson I got out of this whole thing

for myself personally,

the thing that hit the hardest and the deepest,

is this:

This has not been a fair fight.

- What? - Wait a minute, here.

This was no contest, kids.

You've been playing at this all your lives.

You are professional daughters.

You know when to smile and when to cry.

When to back off, when to move in.

You know how to say daddy

like it's the most loving word

in the English language.

You also know how to say daddy

so that it sounds like it's the guy

who put the torch to Joan of arc.

Come on, what chance have I got here?

I'm an amateur father.

I love, I try,

I screw up, I feel guilty.

That's my style.

That's the way I work.

I'm being the best Harry Weston I can be for you.

Now that we all know who we are,

let's eat.

Not a bad speech for an amateur father.

Not bad at all.

On the house, hm?

I have daughters, too.

Well.

Barbara.

Okay, daddy. Thank you.

Oh, he gave you a watch.

Oh!

You shouldn't have.

"Say cheese."

Thank you, daddy.

Oh, your watch has a second hand.

Agh.

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