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1
00:00:05,074 --> 00:00:07,275
Nothing personal, branchy.
2
00:00:07,344 --> 00:00:13,514
T-i-i-i-im-- huh?
3
00:00:13,550 --> 00:00:14,549
[ Gasps ]
4
00:00:14,617 --> 00:00:20,555
Ber.
5
00:00:20,590 --> 00:00:22,323
Brr!
6
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Tim!
7
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Ber!
8
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[ Flesh squishes ]
9
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[ Ice shatters ]
10
00:00:28,898 --> 00:00:30,231
You're safe.
11
00:00:30,266 --> 00:00:31,265
[ Sighs ]
12
00:00:31,301 --> 00:00:36,971
You're all safe... [echoing]
from tree crime!
13
00:00:37,091 --> 00:00:45,006
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
14
00:00:45,126 --> 00:00:46,493
Susie: What a gorgeous day.
15
00:00:46,562 --> 00:00:49,496
It's nice to get out of the marshals
office every once in a while.
16
00:00:49,532 --> 00:00:51,031
Chris: [ Scoffs ] Outdoors.
17
00:00:51,100 --> 00:00:52,697
I hate this place.
18
00:00:52,817 --> 00:00:56,752
Give Chris Monsanto a hot rag and a
cold potato and call it a night.
19
00:00:56,787 --> 00:00:57,446
That's living.
20
00:00:57,671 --> 00:00:58,396
[ Coughs, spits ]
21
00:00:58,516 --> 00:00:59,683
Brett: Ha, you said it, Chris.
22
00:00:59,891 --> 00:01:00,957
Look at these dumb trees.
23
00:01:01,026 --> 00:01:03,026
They're like the
Starbucks of the forest.
24
00:01:03,061 --> 00:01:03,760
What's next?
25
00:01:03,829 --> 00:01:06,832
They build a tree
inside of another tree?
26
00:01:06,952 --> 00:01:07,800
[ Laughs ]
27
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,966
Chris: Brett, do me a favor and try
swallowing your tongue, would you?
28
00:01:10,035 --> 00:01:11,601
Brett: Okay.
29
00:01:11,670 --> 00:01:12,302
[ Gulps ]
30
00:01:12,370 --> 00:01:13,599
Susie: I hate the
people in my life.
31
00:01:13,719 --> 00:01:15,004
Marshals!
32
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:18,308
Thank mercy you finally got here--
and not a moment too soon.
33
00:01:18,343 --> 00:01:19,393
Name's Rucker.
34
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,681
I'm head logger on
this development.
35
00:01:21,841 --> 00:01:24,642
Chris: Well, Mr. Rucker, I'm
marshal Chris Monsanto and I
36
00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:26,577
have to tell you, I think you're
doing the lord's work here
37
00:01:26,697 --> 00:01:28,619
chopping down these
sap-soaked eyesores.
38
00:01:28,739 --> 00:01:31,382
They're really nothing but needle
parks for birds, am I right?
39
00:01:31,502 --> 00:01:33,169
[ Coughs, spits ]
40
00:01:33,732 --> 00:01:36,535
I like the way you spit
at things, marshal.
41
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:37,359
Chris: Well.
42
00:01:42,939 --> 00:01:44,919
We know exactly who.
43
00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:47,836
Darius and his gang.
44
00:01:47,905 --> 00:01:50,372
Chris: [ Groans ] Hippies.
45
00:01:50,407 --> 00:01:52,641
Okay, Brett, Susie, follow me.
46
00:01:52,676 --> 00:01:55,260
We're about to turn Woodstock...
[ Shotgun cocks ]
47
00:01:55,380 --> 00:01:57,060
...into Woodstock '99.
48
00:01:58,846 --> 00:01:59,970
Marshals!
49
00:02:00,090 --> 00:02:02,804
Thank mercy you're here, and not
a moment too soo-- [ Gunshot ]
50
00:02:02,924 --> 00:02:05,754
Chris: Okay, show's over,
Patchoulia Stiles.
51
00:02:05,789 --> 00:02:07,923
Time to pack up your stink
and get out of here.
52
00:02:07,958 --> 00:02:09,758
But they're the ones
terrorizing us.
53
00:02:09,827 --> 00:02:12,465
Chris: You got about three seconds
before I hack your sack, Jack.
54
00:02:12,585 --> 00:02:15,239
The woods are a holy
place, marshal Monsanto.
55
00:02:15,359 --> 00:02:19,038
A sanctuary where one can revel
in the beauty of nature.
56
00:02:19,158 --> 00:02:20,836
We mean no harm.
57
00:02:20,904 --> 00:02:23,833
We only wish to make
and sell our crafts.
58
00:02:24,221 --> 00:02:27,915
They're made entirely from
the fruits of the forest --
59
00:02:28,035 --> 00:02:33,463
handcrafted beads, a back
scratcher, or this bearded purse.
60
00:02:33,583 --> 00:02:35,575
Susie: Are these
crafts sustainable?
61
00:02:35,695 --> 00:02:36,985
We hope so.
62
00:02:37,020 --> 00:02:39,287
Susie: Well, I think
that's just great.
63
00:02:39,356 --> 00:02:42,157
Chris, maybe we shouldn't
be so quick to judge.
64
00:02:42,192 --> 00:02:44,242
I'll take one back
scratcher, please.
65
00:02:44,362 --> 00:02:45,830
Cash only.
66
00:02:45,950 --> 00:02:47,429
Chris: Okay, fine.
67
00:02:47,464 --> 00:02:50,265
But tomorrow is doze day and
come hemp or bong water, these
68
00:02:50,334 --> 00:02:51,733
trees are all coming down.
69
00:02:51,768 --> 00:02:55,237
We're gonna be patrolling this area
tonight, so you might want to avoid it.
70
00:02:55,272 --> 00:02:57,405
Now, if you'll excuse...
[ Shotgun cocks ]
71
00:02:57,441 --> 00:03:01,309
[ Gunshots ]
72
00:03:01,378 --> 00:03:02,878
You can stop that now.
73
00:03:02,946 --> 00:03:04,112
Brett: Mm.
74
00:03:04,147 --> 00:03:05,680
Thanks, buddy.
75
00:03:09,118 --> 00:03:11,219
Susie: I'm worried about Brett.
76
00:03:11,288 --> 00:03:13,855
His shift has been
over for a while now.
77
00:03:13,891 --> 00:03:16,212
The lion is hungry, say Msabu.
78
00:03:16,332 --> 00:03:18,226
God is happy.
79
00:03:18,295 --> 00:03:19,194
He plays with us.
80
00:03:19,229 --> 00:03:21,863
Chris: Yeah, okay, whatever
you say there, Msabu.
81
00:03:21,899 --> 00:03:25,233
Hey, Susie, great job on
these diversity hires.
82
00:03:25,302 --> 00:03:26,374
Brett: Hey, guys!
83
00:03:26,494 --> 00:03:27,557
Susie: Where have you been?
84
00:03:27,776 --> 00:03:30,009
Brett: Well, don't tell
anybody this, but while I was
85
00:03:30,045 --> 00:03:32,412
out on patrol, I
"marked my territory."
86
00:03:32,447 --> 00:03:34,414
My territory is my pants.
87
00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:38,685
Chris: Okay, uh... look, Brett, why
don't you give Msabu here a break?
88
00:03:38,753 --> 00:03:40,953
The lady needs a few more
"rinse and repeats."
89
00:03:40,989 --> 00:03:44,023
Her hair is filthy.
90
00:03:44,059 --> 00:03:45,958
Marshal Chris!
91
00:03:45,994 --> 00:03:48,394
Beware of the woods.
92
00:03:48,430 --> 00:03:52,732
She get her hook in
you, she keep you.
93
00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:55,034
Chris: Okay, well, thank
you for that, Msabu.
94
00:03:55,070 --> 00:03:58,037
Susie, do me a favor and try not
to trick Msabu into getting you
95
00:03:58,073 --> 00:03:58,671
pregnant?
96
00:03:58,740 --> 00:03:59,639
[ Clicks tongue ]
97
00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:01,841
Susie: Get mauled!
98
00:04:01,876 --> 00:04:04,677
Chris: Hello?
99
00:04:04,746 --> 00:04:06,746
Anybody here?
100
00:04:06,815 --> 00:04:08,081
[ Groans ]
101
00:04:08,116 --> 00:04:10,316
"Holy place," my ass.
102
00:04:10,385 --> 00:04:14,487
[ Sighs ]
103
00:04:14,556 --> 00:04:18,458
[ Echoing ] A sanctuary where
one can revel in the beauty of
104
00:04:18,493 --> 00:04:19,559
nature.
105
00:04:19,627 --> 00:04:21,394
Chris: Ohh.
106
00:04:21,463 --> 00:04:26,999
A sanctuary... Chris: Sanctuary...
Beauty... Chris: Beauty...
107
00:04:27,035 --> 00:04:35,374
Nature...
Chris: Nature...[ Moaning ]
108
00:04:35,410 --> 00:04:36,008
Ow!
109
00:04:36,077 --> 00:04:37,910
Come on! Come on!
110
00:04:37,979 --> 00:04:40,379
Oh, okay.
111
00:04:40,415 --> 00:04:42,882
[ Chuckles ]
112
00:04:42,917 --> 00:04:44,884
Ohh! Ohh!
113
00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:52,658
[ Snorts ]
114
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:55,061
Aah! Aah! Aah!
115
00:04:55,096 --> 00:04:56,829
Wha..
116
00:04:56,898 --> 00:05:00,266
Okay, well, obviously I, uh -- I
just fell asleep next to this
117
00:05:00,335 --> 00:05:01,467
filthy, disgusting tree here.
118
00:05:01,536 --> 00:05:05,738
[ Chuckling ] That's
all that happened.
119
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,078
Aah!
120
00:05:12,113 --> 00:05:13,980
Aah!
121
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,962
All: [ Chanting ]
Save our woods!
122
00:05:29,998 --> 00:05:31,898
Save our woods!
123
00:05:31,966 --> 00:05:34,000
Save our woods!
124
00:05:34,035 --> 00:05:36,068
Where's your boy Monsanto?
125
00:05:36,137 --> 00:05:40,807
I'm losing valuable dozing time,
and dozing time is dozing money.
126
00:05:40,842 --> 00:05:42,675
Susie: He'll be here.
127
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:45,878
You will not knock
down our sacred trees.
128
00:05:45,947 --> 00:05:48,981
[ Gunshot ]
129
00:05:49,017 --> 00:05:51,083
Chris: Okay, pop a sock
in it, country Joe.
130
00:05:51,152 --> 00:05:53,519
Otherwise you're all gonna
be following the dead.
131
00:05:53,588 --> 00:05:55,888
And by dead, of course, I'm
not talking about the band,
132
00:05:55,957 --> 00:05:58,624
although certain members of
the band possibly, but not --
133
00:05:58,693 --> 00:05:59,625
[ owl hoots ]
134
00:05:59,694 --> 00:06:00,426
Aah!
135
00:06:00,495 --> 00:06:00,960
[ Gunshot ]
136
00:06:00,995 --> 00:06:01,594
Geez!
137
00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:02,595
Chris: Okay, come on.
138
00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:03,496
Doze it. Doze it!
139
00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:05,331
[ Engine turns over ]
140
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,278
No, wait!
141
00:06:19,314 --> 00:06:21,480
[ Brakes squeal ]
142
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,716
It's a forest miracle.
143
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,651
What the hell are
you doing, marshal?
144
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,554
Chris: Well, I was just
thinking, Ruck, that, uh, maybe
145
00:06:28,590 --> 00:06:30,356
we should leave
that tree standing.
146
00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:32,825
Maybe we can make it into, like,
a tourist attraction, and then,
147
00:06:32,861 --> 00:06:35,461
you know, families could come
and -- and pay money to -- to
148
00:06:35,530 --> 00:06:37,997
urinate on that filthy,
disgusting bastard tree.
149
00:06:38,032 --> 00:06:42,535
Oh, but, marshal, that
there is a special tree.
150
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:44,370
We call that one "old Gary."
151
00:06:44,439 --> 00:06:47,373
It's the oldest tree
in this here woods.
152
00:06:47,442 --> 00:06:50,376
We just got to cuts it down.
153
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:53,446
Chris: Or maybe we leaves it up.
154
00:06:53,481 --> 00:06:56,716
You ain't going softie
on us, are you, marshal?
155
00:06:56,751 --> 00:07:02,655
We...are...cuttin'..down...
Old Gary.
156
00:07:02,724 --> 00:07:03,990
Chris: [ Grunts ]
157
00:07:04,025 --> 00:07:06,259
[ Motor revs ]
158
00:07:06,294 --> 00:07:08,261
Aah!
159
00:07:08,296 --> 00:07:10,630
Aaaaaah!
160
00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:12,732
My dozin' arm!
161
00:07:12,767 --> 00:07:14,367
It should have been you!
162
00:07:14,402 --> 00:07:16,469
Aah! Aah!
163
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,437
A back scratcher.
164
00:07:18,473 --> 00:07:22,909
Susie: I'll take one
back scratcher, please.
165
00:07:22,944 --> 00:07:26,279
[ Echoing ] Sustainable.
166
00:07:26,347 --> 00:07:29,282
Those goods weren't
fruits of the forest.
167
00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:30,616
You make me sick!
168
00:07:30,685 --> 00:07:31,817
No refunds.
169
00:07:31,853 --> 00:07:32,885
Doze it, boys!
170
00:07:32,954 --> 00:07:34,587
[ Engine turns over ]
171
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:35,354
Stop!
172
00:07:35,423 --> 00:07:36,322
[ Brakes squeal ]
173
00:07:36,357 --> 00:07:37,990
You cannot cut this tree down!
174
00:07:38,059 --> 00:07:39,258
Why?
175
00:07:39,327 --> 00:07:43,863
Because... she's pregnant.
176
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:46,799
Somebody [Bleep] old Gary.
177
00:07:46,868 --> 00:07:48,634
Who could have done this?
178
00:07:48,703 --> 00:07:50,336
It was me.
179
00:07:50,371 --> 00:07:51,904
I admit it.
180
00:07:51,973 --> 00:07:53,906
I made love to that tree.
181
00:07:53,975 --> 00:07:56,876
Chris: But... I did, too.
182
00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:59,345
Damn it to hell, I did, too.
183
00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:01,414
It's my secret shame.
184
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:02,815
Chris: [ Exhales sharply ]
185
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:05,284
You whore!
186
00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,286
[ Engine turns over ]
187
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,764
Oh, no!
188
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:19,832
No, I'm sorry!
189
00:08:19,901 --> 00:08:22,568
I'm sorry!
190
00:08:22,637 --> 00:08:23,936
Oh, what's happening?
191
00:08:24,005 --> 00:08:25,371
She's breeching!
192
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,540
That baby's gonna die.
193
00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:28,574
Chris: It's not.
194
00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:32,278
Out of my way!
195
00:08:32,347 --> 00:08:35,381
[ Grunting ]
196
00:08:35,450 --> 00:08:35,982
Come on!
197
00:08:36,017 --> 00:08:38,284
Come on! God!
198
00:08:38,353 --> 00:08:39,919
Come on! One more!
199
00:08:39,988 --> 00:08:40,753
[ Grunts ]
200
00:08:40,822 --> 00:08:42,722
Ah! Oh.
201
00:08:42,757 --> 00:08:44,523
[ Breathing rapidly ]
202
00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:46,459
Oh! Oh.
203
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:48,561
Susie: Chris, you did it!
204
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:50,997
You saved this...thing.
205
00:08:51,032 --> 00:08:52,264
Is that why we're here?
206
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:53,799
I don't even know anymore.
207
00:08:53,835 --> 00:08:56,369
Brett: Old Gary was a lady tree?
208
00:08:56,404 --> 00:08:59,638
That baby's gonna be a
whore, just like her mama.
209
00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,273
Chris: You shut your mouth!
210
00:09:01,309 --> 00:09:04,643
I ain't raising no devil's
child of many fathers.
211
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:07,279
Chris: Well, it don't need you.
212
00:09:07,348 --> 00:09:08,914
Darius?
213
00:09:08,950 --> 00:09:09,648
Guys?
214
00:09:09,684 --> 00:09:12,918
Um...I got a lot
going on right now.
215
00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:14,253
Chris: Oh, okay.
216
00:09:14,288 --> 00:09:15,621
That's how it is, huh?
217
00:09:15,690 --> 00:09:18,624
Well, what happened to all that
talk about the beauty of nature?
218
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:21,594
Nothing beautiful about
weird tree baby.
219
00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:23,195
Chris: Okay, fine.
220
00:09:23,264 --> 00:09:24,430
Well, you know something?
221
00:09:24,465 --> 00:09:25,698
We don't need any of you!
222
00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:27,800
I don't care who the father is.
223
00:09:27,869 --> 00:09:31,537
I've decided to raise it
as my own, in these woods.
224
00:09:31,606 --> 00:09:33,506
Now, get out, all of you!
225
00:09:33,541 --> 00:09:35,274
Out! Get out!
226
00:09:35,343 --> 00:09:36,242
[ Metal squeaking ]
227
00:09:36,277 --> 00:09:38,444
Leave us alone.
228
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:45,785
The marshal worked for weeks,
building what remained of
229
00:09:45,820 --> 00:09:50,723
old Gary into a home
for him and the child.
230
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:55,261
He knew they were no longer
welcome in the world of man.
231
00:09:55,329 --> 00:09:55,961
Chris: [ Chuckles ]
232
00:09:55,997 --> 00:09:59,398
The child grew, and the
marshal tried to love it...
233
00:09:59,434 --> 00:10:00,332
Chris: [ Laughs ]
234
00:10:00,401 --> 00:10:05,438
...though he could never know
if it was truly his own.
235
00:10:05,473 --> 00:10:08,874
As is the way, the child
matured, and the marshal knew it
236
00:10:08,943 --> 00:10:13,512
was time for it to
start out on its own.
237
00:10:13,548 --> 00:10:15,681
They were never to see
each other again.
238
00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:16,615
[ Door creaks ]
239
00:10:16,684 --> 00:10:19,752
Years passed, then centuries.
240
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:23,489
Outside the forest, the world
of man found new ways to end
241
00:10:23,558 --> 00:10:28,494
itself, with war and suffering,
until nothing remained.
242
00:10:28,563 --> 00:10:33,852
The cabin began to crumble, the
woods crept in, reclaiming it
243
00:10:33,972 --> 00:10:37,570
for nature, but this mattered
not to the marshal...
244
00:10:38,146 --> 00:10:42,089
for the marshal was home.
245
00:10:44,527 --> 00:10:55,078
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
246
00:10:55,128 --> 00:10:59,678
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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