Original subtitles

You think stem cells really cure diseases?

Yeah, and selling them on the black market's gonna cure my disease--

not being rich.

[ Laughs ]

Chris: Well, well, well.

Stem-cell thieves.

Susie: The lowest of the low.

Brett: The people version of dog [bleep].

Okay, we surrend-- Chris: Certainly won't go quietly.

I didn't think so.

Susie: Chris, help!

Brett: Yeah, Chris!

Aaaaah!

Brett: Okay, Chris. All done.

Unh!

Chris: You're right, Brett.

We should be heading out, but first, I'll beheading this guy.

[ Chainsaw buzzing ]

[ Thud ]

Ah. Now, who's the brains of this operation?

Susie: Chris, stop!

I am so sorry about your friend.

[ Chainsaw buzzing ]

Chris: Ah. I hope you're kosher for bash-over.

[ Grunts ]

Brett: Ugh. Too soon.

Chris: [ Cackling ]

Susie: Chris, you really need to relax.

Chris: [ Breathing heavily ]

Why?

Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com

Susie: See?

This is fun, right?

[ Laughs ]

Chris: Yeah, it's a real toot.

[ Belches, sighs ]

Susie: You're just stressed out.

All you do is work.

Maybe you need a hobby.

I do yoga and go grocery shopping.

Brett: I raise puppie-- from the dead.

I don't just kill perps all day.

Sometimes after work, I'll swing by the cemetery and piss on their graves.

Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm se?or Breezie's welcome to

Deke and the Growlers.

All right, how you doing out there?

Brett: Whoo!

I know what's gonna wake this crowd up.

How about a little bangin'... [ Chord plays ]

...slangin'... [ chord plays ]

...ring-a-ding-dong-dangin'... [ Chord plays ]

...South side Chicago blues?

Hit it!

[ Up-tempo blues music playing ]

I got a hot rod, baby

and my girl, she's got a hot-rod bod

yes, she does

Chris: What is this?

I got a hot rod, baby

and my girl, she's got a hot-rod bod

yes, she does

Chris: What is this wondrous music...

yeah

Chris: ...This... blues?

Brett: Then the zookeeper comes by, and he says, "Sir, you

can't stand in the gorilla cage -- unless you win the big

dance competition, that is."

Then I won!

The end.

What do you think?

Susie: Well, a novel's usually longer and written down.

Brett: I didn't ask for notes.

Listen up, team.

We have a reliable tip that someone is planning to donate a dirty bomb near

grand square Plaza.

Susie: Who would want to do that?

William Barlow, a radical chemist who went underground in the '60s.

Monsanto?

Monsanto, I'm talking to you.

It's a bum, damn it!

Susie: "Gone bluesin'.

Be back never -- Chris."

Find him, you two, before it's too late.

Bros, you can add the Cohens'

25th-wedding-anniversary bash to the list of growlers gigs this

year, which means we'll be singing the "We've Got Health Insurance" blues.

[ Laughs ]

[ Up-tempo blues music playing ]

Chris: [ Muffled shouting ]

Oh, geez.

I must've fallen asleep and had one of my traditional day terrors.

Hey, fellas, I'm sorry to stow away on your bus here, but who

are you, and what is the blues?

Well, I'm Deke.

This is Bricktop, Rocco, and Greg.

Hi.

How you doing?

A-bow-wow.

As for your second question, well, you're in luck, Chris,

'cause we're on a pilgrimage to the source-- the place where blues started.

And when we get there, we're gonna meet the king of the blues.

Maybe he can tell us the true meaning of the blues.

Come along for the ride, kid.

[ Music resumes ]

Susie: He never came back to the bar.

Where else would someone go bluesin'?

Brett: Smurf village?

Hopefully not the South side, though.

It's filled with Sm... Smurfrican Americans.

It's got to be close.

I can smell the blues.

[ Heavenly music plays ]

Chris: I'm home.

This is sacred ground, lads.

Feast your eyes.

Bruce Willis' harmonica.

Jim Belushi�s brother's sunglasses.

A-bow-wow.

Chris: They've all been here.

And they'll be here again.

We've got a jam-packed blues-vember coming up.

The king!

Step into my office, boys.

Fellas, I'm a busy man.

What do you need?

Chris: Tell us the meaning of the blues.

Want to know what the blues is?

It's a dusty road meeting a setting sun.

It's a fat, old catfish tugging at a line.

The blues, boys, is the sound of freedom.

Cool.

Yeah, wow. Great.

See you later.

Chris: Wait a second.

He's lying.

You're right, Chris.

That was a test, and you passed.

Here you go.

Chris: [ Exhales sharply ]

Whoa.

Here's the truth.

The blues is really about good food and great atmosphere at a

reasonable price point.

Thank you, your majesty.

If it pleases you, uh, the growlers and myself would be

honored to set this house a-rockin' tonight.

I'm afraid that's not possible, Edekial -- not tonight, not ever.

Which reminds me... [ Gun cocks ]

Chris: Whoa!

Wait! What are you doing?

We're finished.

The blues is done.

Chris: What are you talking about?

The local free-arts paper strong-armed me into booking a

"Traditional Bluesman" named Old Blind Willie tonight.

Listen.

Got to find my woman

took a train down South

Chris: Turn this off!

It's awful!

Can't even

That wasn't the blues.

That was evil. A-bow-wow.

Looks like tonight, the blues house is gonna be in the re

we'll all be wearing black when the slips are pink from lack of green.

Who knows if there'll be a tomorrow?

Chris: Hey, guys, what are you doing here?

Susie: Wee been looking all over for you.

Someone's planning on detonating a dirty bomb on grand square --

Chris: Oh, who cares?

Old blind Willie's about to start performing, and this

old-timey-blues douche-bag crowd isn't buying any barbecue pork poppers.

Can I interest you in some bluesaritas?

Water is fine.

How you all doing tonight?

[ Applause ]

My woman done gone and left me

she done run herself away

my dog done got himself eaten

by a larger dog today

I got the blues

Brett: What is this trash?

I wish I was blind in my ears.

Susie: Wait a minute.

That William Barlow, the ex-chemist.

His file says he was blinded in a chemical fire 30 years ago.

William Barlow is old blind Willie.

Chris: He must've lured people away from the college so

he could steal dirty-bomb material from the chemistry lab.

Susie: Then when he detonates the bomb, everyone in the world

will be miserable, and they'll like his garbage music.

Chris: I'll take care of this old fake with extreme prejudice.

Not the racial kind, sweetheart, okay?

Guys, where are you going?

We got to stop old blind Willie.

Party's over, Chris.

Blues is dead.

We're gonna have to go back to our wives and children.

Bricktop's old lady came to pick us up.

[ Car horn honks ]

Chris: Well, I still believe.

[ Heroic music plays ]

Ladies and gentlemen, um, we hope you've enjoyed the awful

portion of tonight's program.

And now it's time for some real blues!

A-5, 6, 7, 8!

[ Up-tempo harmonica music playing ]

Boys, someone's honking on the old mouth box inhere!

[ Music continues ]

[ Coughs, sighs ]

Hey!

Let's blues this shack! Hit it!

[ Up-tempo blues music playing ]

Party!

I got a hot rod, baby

and my girl, she's got a hot-rod bod

Can I get you anything?

Well, yeah, sweet thing.

You get me some pork plopers -- for everyone!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Laugh it up. It don't matter.

All you fools will be dead tonight.

[ Music continues ]

He's getting away!

Oh [bleep].

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Music resumes ]

Chris: All right, sweetheart.

There you go.

Okay?

Chris, thank you.

You saved the blues.

We can all go home. [ Laughs ]

I'm just gonna need to close out your tab.

40% gratuity's already included.

Chris: Oh, great.

Hey, bud.

This one's on the growlers.

We're gonna go load up the van.

[ Clicks tongue ]

Chris: Thanks, Deke.

[ Beeps ]

I sorry, sir.

This card expired... 90 years ago.

Chris: Hey, guys, what's the scam?

This credit card expired, like, decades ago.

That's right.

So did we.

You see, Chris, we're ghosts.

We came here to teach you about the blues, and now our job is done.

See you in blues heaven.

[ Clicks tongue ]

He's just kidding.

We'll see you in regular heaven in the blues section.

A-bow-wow.

Chris: Brett, Susie... Let's get back to work.

Susie: But what about the blues?

Chris: Oh, it's coming, too.

Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0