All language subtitles for Eagleheart s02e03 Silly Sammy.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:07,215 Zachary, you're gonna be late. 2 00:00:07,251 --> 00:00:10,521 What is all this? 3 00:00:12,525 --> 00:00:13,592 I don't know. 4 00:00:13,627 --> 00:00:15,595 [ School bus horn beeps ] 5 00:00:15,631 --> 00:00:18,232 We'll talk about this when you get home. 6 00:00:18,267 --> 00:00:22,237 Oh! Oh. 7 00:00:22,305 --> 00:00:24,306 Zachary? 8 00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:37,254 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 9 00:00:42,202 --> 00:00:44,822 There's an organ thief on the loose in Elmwood Park. 10 00:00:44,942 --> 00:00:46,775 The victim's are all married couples. 11 00:00:46,810 --> 00:00:49,811 Chris: Why would somebody want to steal organs from corpses? 12 00:00:49,846 --> 00:00:51,346 I didn't say they were dead. 13 00:00:51,415 --> 00:00:53,448 Chris: You said they were married. 14 00:00:53,517 --> 00:00:53,781 Pow! 15 00:00:53,817 --> 00:00:55,049 Brett: Ha ha. Pow! 16 00:00:55,085 --> 00:00:56,685 Are you drunk, Monsanto? 17 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:57,720 Chris: So what? 18 00:00:57,788 --> 00:01:03,361 Let's take a look at the photos here, Cappie. 19 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:04,530 Susie: Wow. 20 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,265 The spelling is awful. 21 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,600 Brett: Yeah. 22 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:09,702 Huh. 23 00:01:09,771 --> 00:01:11,337 I know. 24 00:01:11,373 --> 00:01:14,809 They're all gonna find out you can't read. 25 00:01:14,878 --> 00:01:17,412 We suspect that kids are somehow behind this. 26 00:01:17,447 --> 00:01:20,516 You three are gonna go undercover and throw a slumber party. 27 00:01:20,551 --> 00:01:22,484 Susie: You want to use us as bait? 28 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:26,522 Here's your cover story -- you are Mort and Irene, an aging, childless couple. 29 00:01:26,590 --> 00:01:30,893 One day, Mort's low-life brother, Burt, came to visit, unannounced. 30 00:01:30,928 --> 00:01:34,797 It wasn't long before Burt was giving it to Irene on a steady basis. 31 00:01:34,832 --> 00:01:36,932 I mean, not that Mort cares, really. 32 00:01:36,967 --> 00:01:40,604 It had been so long since he had any sensation in that creamy nub 33 00:01:40,639 --> 00:01:45,410 he called a penis that he forgot what it felt like to be a man. 34 00:01:45,445 --> 00:01:46,945 Susie: Okay. 35 00:01:46,980 --> 00:01:48,614 What about the slumber party? 36 00:01:48,682 --> 00:01:49,681 Let me finish. 37 00:01:49,750 --> 00:01:52,952 In what could only be taken as a cruel joke, Irene decided to 38 00:01:53,021 --> 00:01:56,423 host a slumber party for the neighborhood children, filling 39 00:01:56,458 --> 00:02:00,528 their joyless home with the playful young voices that Mort's 40 00:02:00,597 --> 00:02:02,965 cloopy cheese dick could never provide. 41 00:02:03,034 --> 00:02:05,768 Susie: But if we have to be asleep when they try to steal 42 00:02:12,011 --> 00:02:15,579 That way, if someone tries to steal them, Kapow. 43 00:02:15,615 --> 00:02:16,781 [ Spits ] 44 00:02:16,816 --> 00:02:19,317 Son of a bitch! 45 00:02:22,421 --> 00:02:23,555 Brett: Hey, kids. 46 00:02:23,590 --> 00:02:24,590 Come on in, guys. 47 00:02:24,625 --> 00:02:26,058 Susie: Aww, there you go. 48 00:02:26,093 --> 00:02:27,326 Brett: Hi. 49 00:02:27,395 --> 00:02:29,295 Susie: [ Laughs ] 50 00:02:29,331 --> 00:02:31,331 Chris: Any one of these scumbags our guy? 51 00:02:31,366 --> 00:02:32,332 Susie: I can't tell. 52 00:02:32,401 --> 00:02:34,335 They all look like psychopaths at this age. 53 00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:35,937 Chris, stop drinking. 54 00:02:35,972 --> 00:02:37,038 Chris: Oh. 55 00:02:37,106 --> 00:02:39,774 Hey, kids, want to have some fun? 56 00:02:39,809 --> 00:02:40,675 All: Yeah! 57 00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:44,479 Chris: Knock yourselves out, scum. 58 00:02:49,385 --> 00:02:53,654 Brett: Guess it's time to get on the old Snoozetown express, huh? 59 00:02:53,690 --> 00:02:58,860 Good thing I got my passport and my ticket and money for 60 00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:03,933 snacks -- 50 snooze bucks, the only type of money they accept in Snoozetown. 61 00:03:04,001 --> 00:03:05,568 Oh, no. 62 00:03:05,603 --> 00:03:09,406 I can't find my snooze bucks. 63 00:03:09,441 --> 00:03:15,312 Nobody likes you, Brett. 64 00:03:15,381 --> 00:03:16,547 Susie: All right. 65 00:03:16,582 --> 00:03:23,755 Goodnight, guys. 66 00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:27,025 Chris: See you guys next spring. 67 00:03:27,060 --> 00:03:27,825 [ Grunts ] 68 00:03:27,861 --> 00:03:30,895 Oh, yeah. 69 00:03:30,931 --> 00:03:32,564 Susie: [ Humming ] 70 00:03:32,599 --> 00:03:33,832 [ Alarm clock blaring ] 71 00:03:33,867 --> 00:03:35,300 Chris: Okay, I'll get up. 72 00:03:35,368 --> 00:03:36,935 [ Smooching ] 73 00:03:36,970 --> 00:03:39,304 [ Alarm stops ] 74 00:03:39,372 --> 00:03:42,474 Oh! Ah. 75 00:03:42,542 --> 00:03:44,842 Oh, they got me. 76 00:03:44,878 --> 00:03:48,813 Okay, they got my kidneys and, great, the liver. 77 00:03:48,848 --> 00:03:52,549 Susie: Oh, they got my liver, too. 78 00:03:52,584 --> 00:03:54,751 And my ovaries. 79 00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:55,819 Chris: Eh, big loss. 80 00:03:55,854 --> 00:03:58,455 I bet those empty egg cartons were filled with pure oxygen. 81 00:03:58,524 --> 00:04:00,357 They probably floated off on their own. 82 00:04:00,393 --> 00:04:01,092 Brett. 83 00:04:01,127 --> 00:04:03,294 Brett: What? 84 00:04:03,329 --> 00:04:04,528 Chris: Brett. 85 00:04:04,564 --> 00:04:05,830 Did you take our organs? 86 00:04:05,899 --> 00:04:09,000 Brett: You mean the ones you stole form Tommy tumbles? 87 00:04:09,035 --> 00:04:10,468 Chris: Okay. What? 88 00:04:10,537 --> 00:04:11,736 Brett: Oh, yeah. 89 00:04:11,772 --> 00:04:14,972 I found out all about it last night from Silly Sammy. 90 00:04:15,008 --> 00:04:18,376 I couldn't get to sleep after that duck got all in my head, so 91 00:04:18,411 --> 00:04:21,546 I went downstairs to hang out with my new best PS, who just 92 00:04:21,582 --> 00:04:24,550 happened to be watching my favorite late-night kids show, 93 00:04:24,585 --> 00:04:27,620 "Sammy" with Silly Sammy. 94 00:04:27,655 --> 00:04:28,821 Hey, kids. 95 00:04:28,890 --> 00:04:30,923 Are the grown-ups sleeping? 96 00:04:30,991 --> 00:04:35,527 Good, because there's something I want to tell you about, and it's not easy. 97 00:04:35,562 --> 00:04:38,629 It's about my good friend Tommy tumbles. 98 00:04:38,665 --> 00:04:39,964 Tommy's not well. 99 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,000 And you know why? 100 00:04:42,069 --> 00:04:46,271 Because your parents stole his organs. 101 00:04:46,340 --> 00:04:51,343 They stole the precious insides from this tender tumbler lying here tonight. 102 00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:52,544 How you doing, "T"? 103 00:04:52,579 --> 00:04:54,946 I'm tired, Sammy, but I'm hanging on. 104 00:04:54,982 --> 00:04:56,681 [ Weakly ] I got to get up. 105 00:04:56,716 --> 00:04:58,449 I got to make the kids smile. 106 00:04:58,518 --> 00:05:00,351 No. Just lie down. 107 00:05:00,420 --> 00:05:01,987 Just rest, my friend. 108 00:05:02,055 --> 00:05:04,322 You'll be okay. 109 00:05:04,357 --> 00:05:09,761 He won't be okay unless you help him get his organs back. 110 00:05:09,796 --> 00:05:11,430 Do you think you could do that? 111 00:05:11,498 --> 00:05:12,331 All: Yeah! 112 00:05:12,366 --> 00:05:13,498 Brett: Yeah, Sammy! 113 00:05:13,534 --> 00:05:17,403 Here's what you need to do to save Tommy. 114 00:05:17,438 --> 00:05:18,871 Oh 115 00:05:18,939 --> 00:05:21,807 first you take your scalpel, and then you take a pen 116 00:05:21,876 --> 00:05:25,611 make a lateral incision across the abdomen 117 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,948 you locate all the organs -- kidneys, heart, and spleen 118 00:05:28,983 --> 00:05:31,851 use some bacitracin to keep them nice and clean 119 00:05:31,886 --> 00:05:35,688 oh, you clamp off the arteries and pop the goodies out 120 00:05:35,723 --> 00:05:38,958 a snip here, a snip there, that's what it's all about 121 00:05:39,026 --> 00:05:41,794 put them in the icebox before they get all clammy 122 00:05:41,829 --> 00:05:46,298 Brett: and now it's time to send them off to good old Silly Sammy 123 00:05:46,333 --> 00:05:46,765 [ Laughs ] 124 00:05:46,834 --> 00:05:48,701 Susie: You memorized the whole song? 125 00:05:48,736 --> 00:05:49,502 Brett: Yeah. 126 00:05:49,571 --> 00:05:50,603 He sings it every show. 127 00:05:50,638 --> 00:05:53,039 Chris: Well, I guess we got to get down there to that 128 00:05:53,074 --> 00:05:55,741 Silly Sammy's studio and give that clown a pie in the face. 129 00:05:55,777 --> 00:05:57,777 And by "pie," I mean a hollow-point bullet. 130 00:05:57,812 --> 00:06:01,013 And by "face" -- well, actually, "face" kind of works there, doesn't it? 131 00:06:01,049 --> 00:06:02,748 Brett: Let me get this straight. 132 00:06:02,784 --> 00:06:06,318 I'm gonna get to kill Silly Sammy in person?! 133 00:06:06,387 --> 00:06:08,488 Chris: Well, Brett, we'll see, okay? 134 00:06:08,556 --> 00:06:09,288 We'll see. 135 00:06:09,324 --> 00:06:11,223 Brett: [ Laughs ] 136 00:06:13,393 --> 00:06:14,460 Susie: No one's here. 137 00:06:14,495 --> 00:06:16,596 Chris: Uh, hold on a second, eggs mcnothin'. 138 00:06:16,631 --> 00:06:17,296 What's that? 139 00:06:17,365 --> 00:06:18,931 Susie: "Closed for private event." 140 00:06:18,967 --> 00:06:21,367 Brett: Come on, guys. 141 00:06:29,610 --> 00:06:32,746 Ladies and gentlemen, your host for the evening, 142 00:06:32,814 --> 00:06:36,015 Mr. Sampson Hidler. 143 00:06:36,051 --> 00:06:37,951 Brett: Sampson? 144 00:06:38,020 --> 00:06:42,856 Friends, I present to you the finest black-market organs that 145 00:06:42,892 --> 00:06:44,291 money can buy. 146 00:06:44,327 --> 00:06:45,492 Brett: Sammy, no. 147 00:06:45,561 --> 00:06:48,929 Have you ever noticed that everything fun is bad for you? 148 00:06:48,965 --> 00:06:51,298 Well, not anymore it isn't. 149 00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:56,437 Finally, you can drink all night and swap out your liver in the 150 00:06:56,472 --> 00:06:57,371 morning. 151 00:06:57,406 --> 00:07:02,309 You can do all the cocaine you want with your very own blow nose. 152 00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:04,011 Brett: Sammy, don't. 153 00:07:04,046 --> 00:07:08,014 Crystal meth is bad for your lungs. 154 00:07:08,050 --> 00:07:11,351 That's why you don't have to use your lungs. 155 00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:12,352 Brett: Don't. 156 00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:18,826 And it isn't cheating on your wife if you strap on our patented...party dink. 157 00:07:18,862 --> 00:07:21,362 Brett: Sammy, do-o-o-n't. 158 00:07:21,431 --> 00:07:29,439 Our first item up for auction tonight is a mint-condition male stomach. 159 00:07:29,474 --> 00:07:31,542 Brett: Tommy tumbles. 160 00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:32,843 He's not sick. 161 00:07:32,912 --> 00:07:34,812 Time to grow up, Brett. 162 00:07:34,847 --> 00:07:37,715 Brett: You lied to me! 163 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:38,983 Get him! 164 00:07:39,018 --> 00:07:40,785 [ Grunts ] 165 00:07:40,820 --> 00:07:43,287 Aaaah! 166 00:07:43,356 --> 00:07:46,357 [ Shudders ] 167 00:07:46,392 --> 00:07:47,825 [ Squealing ] 168 00:07:47,860 --> 00:07:51,729 [ Punches landing ] 169 00:07:51,798 --> 00:07:53,798 Show's over, marshals. 170 00:07:53,833 --> 00:07:57,367 And for my final joke, I'm gonna blow your heads off. 171 00:07:57,402 --> 00:07:58,435 Susie: You tell jokes? 172 00:07:58,470 --> 00:08:00,069 Chris: Uh, Silly Sammy, wait a second. 173 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,905 You know, we're not here to kill you. 174 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:04,607 Um, we're here to help you make money. 175 00:08:04,642 --> 00:08:05,641 I'm listening. 176 00:08:05,677 --> 00:08:07,810 Chris: Well, you need organs, right? 177 00:08:07,879 --> 00:08:09,411 Well, we're U.S. marshals. 178 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,679 We kill people all day. 179 00:08:10,714 --> 00:08:12,247 We're lousy with organs. 180 00:08:12,282 --> 00:08:14,716 You'll give me your dead people's organs? 181 00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:18,953 Chris: All of them. 182 00:08:18,988 --> 00:08:22,990 You jut said the magic word... "Organs." 183 00:08:23,059 --> 00:08:24,625 You got yourselves a deal. 184 00:08:24,694 --> 00:08:25,693 Chris: Great. 185 00:08:25,762 --> 00:08:29,698 How about a little celebratory crystal meth. 186 00:08:29,733 --> 00:08:30,699 Chris: Uh, sure. 187 00:08:30,767 --> 00:08:31,900 Well, that sounds good. 188 00:08:31,935 --> 00:08:32,867 Uh, just one question. 189 00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:35,604 Do you mind if we get our own personal organs back? 190 00:08:35,639 --> 00:08:36,772 Yeah, yeah. No problem. 191 00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:39,508 But I got to warn you, I don't got a lot of meth, and I smoke 192 00:08:39,543 --> 00:08:41,677 it really fast, so... Chris: I'm sure you do. 193 00:08:41,712 --> 00:08:45,781 Okay, well, thank you very much. 194 00:08:45,850 --> 00:08:47,049 Ovaries. 195 00:08:47,085 --> 00:08:50,319 Bet those empty egg cartons were filled with pure oxygen. 196 00:08:50,388 --> 00:08:51,687 Liver. 197 00:08:51,756 --> 00:08:53,022 Are you drunk, Monsanto? 198 00:08:53,057 --> 00:08:54,023 Chris: So what? 199 00:08:54,058 --> 00:08:55,658 Susie: Chris, stop drinking. 200 00:08:55,693 --> 00:08:56,892 Drinking. 201 00:08:56,961 --> 00:08:58,327 Drinking. 202 00:08:58,396 --> 00:09:00,062 Chris, come on downstairs. 203 00:09:00,097 --> 00:09:03,799 I just pissed all over your Hanukkah presents. 204 00:09:03,868 --> 00:09:04,700 [ Thuds ] 205 00:09:04,736 --> 00:09:06,869 Susie: [ Echoing ] Drinking. 206 00:09:06,904 --> 00:09:07,970 Chris: Hmm. 207 00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:11,607 One whiskey-soaked liver and one set of ovaries filled with 208 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:12,775 nothing but pure oxygen. 209 00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:14,777 Here we go. 210 00:09:20,051 --> 00:09:21,418 Brett: Mm. 211 00:09:21,453 --> 00:09:27,858 Tomorrow's episode of "Silly Sammy" is gonna be weird. 212 00:09:27,926 --> 00:09:30,027 A great job on the case, gang. 213 00:09:30,062 --> 00:09:33,397 Thanks to your lifelong alcoholism and your decrepit 214 00:09:33,432 --> 00:09:36,501 lady parts, we were able to bust up the entire ring. 215 00:09:36,569 --> 00:09:38,302 Chris: Thanks a lot there, captain. 216 00:09:38,371 --> 00:09:39,303 Good night, guys. 217 00:09:39,339 --> 00:09:42,406 Chris: Good night, captain. 218 00:09:49,346 --> 00:09:52,448 Irene, I'm home. 219 00:09:52,484 --> 00:09:54,016 What, do you want a parade? 220 00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:55,484 You old bowl of soup. 221 00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:56,852 Anything for dinner? 222 00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:59,921 Uh, there's a half a loaf of bread in the icebox. 223 00:09:59,957 --> 00:10:02,290 I'm gonna take a nap in Burt's room. 224 00:10:02,359 --> 00:10:04,393 Try not to make too much noise. 225 00:10:04,462 --> 00:10:07,997 Oh, and that package came for you. 226 00:10:15,772 --> 00:10:18,740 "Dear captain, after we took down Silly Sammy, we returned 227 00:10:18,809 --> 00:10:22,010 all the organs to their rightful owners, but there was still one 228 00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:23,545 body part unaccounted for. 229 00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:26,281 If you happen to find it, take it for a spin around the block 230 00:10:26,349 --> 00:10:31,819 for us, would you?" 231 00:10:31,887 --> 00:10:34,721 A party dink. 232 00:10:34,757 --> 00:10:39,893 Irene, I'd like to see you... In our bedroom. 233 00:10:39,928 --> 00:10:50,163 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 234 00:10:50,213 --> 00:10:54,763 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 17022

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