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So I look in the back
seat, and what do I see?
2
00:00:02,945 --> 00:00:05,280
A boa constrictor looking
right back at me.
3
00:00:05,316 --> 00:00:08,217
And I look over at whitey and I
go, "Whitey, next time we go to
4
00:00:08,252 --> 00:00:10,853
the hardware store, let me
pick out the garden hose."
5
00:00:10,888 --> 00:00:15,090
[ Laughter ]
6
00:00:15,125 --> 00:00:17,392
Brett: Man, I just love
our weekly poker games.
7
00:00:17,461 --> 00:00:19,094
Chris: Yeah, right?
8
00:00:19,163 --> 00:00:20,162
[ Chuckles ]
9
00:00:20,197 --> 00:00:21,897
Wait a minute.
10
00:00:21,932 --> 00:00:24,733
We don't have a
weekly poker game.
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00:00:24,802 --> 00:00:27,069
Die, pigs!
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00:00:27,189 --> 00:00:33,842
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
13
00:00:34,210 --> 00:00:36,345
Code six, north Avenue 52.
14
00:00:36,380 --> 00:00:38,881
Susie: Jewelry heist
just went down across town.
15
00:00:38,916 --> 00:00:40,816
This poker game was
all a distraction.
16
00:00:40,851 --> 00:00:42,551
Chris: These cards
aren't even real.
17
00:00:42,586 --> 00:00:43,452
They're Matzah.
18
00:00:43,487 --> 00:00:47,990
Brett: Yeah, and these poker
chips are just pepperonis.
19
00:00:47,992 --> 00:00:48,924
[ Siren wails ]
20
00:00:48,959 --> 00:00:50,092
He's gonna be okay.
21
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:53,262
Brett swallowed a pound and a
half of plastic poker chips.
22
00:00:53,297 --> 00:00:56,365
Tina, put them up.
23
00:00:56,433 --> 00:00:58,267
Susie: Can we
go in and see him?
24
00:00:58,302 --> 00:01:03,805
Yes, but I have to warn you,
we did find one other thing.
25
00:01:03,841 --> 00:01:04,540
Chris: Ooh.
26
00:01:04,575 --> 00:01:06,141
What's that horrible smell?
27
00:01:06,176 --> 00:01:07,276
Brett: Hey, guys.
28
00:01:07,344 --> 00:01:09,411
Chris: What in
the hell is that?
29
00:01:09,413 --> 00:01:10,546
That is a Bezoar.
30
00:01:10,581 --> 00:01:14,149
It's a mass of indigestible matter
that accumulates in the stomach.
31
00:01:14,184 --> 00:01:17,185
And this little beauty is made
up mostly of hair, poker chips,
32
00:01:17,254 --> 00:01:18,554
and chunks of couch cushion.
33
00:01:18,622 --> 00:01:20,422
Brett: I'm a daddy.
34
00:01:20,424 --> 00:01:21,423
Chris: Okay, Brett.
35
00:01:21,458 --> 00:01:23,091
Here, we'll destroy
that for you.
36
00:01:23,127 --> 00:01:23,859
Brett: No!
37
00:01:23,894 --> 00:01:26,495
He's become awfully
attached to it.
38
00:01:26,530 --> 00:01:29,498
Tell you what -- why don't you
let him take it home, carry it
39
00:01:29,533 --> 00:01:32,167
around for a week, and maybe
it'll teach him a little
40
00:01:32,236 --> 00:01:33,802
something about responsibility?
41
00:01:33,871 --> 00:01:35,270
Brett: [ Sniffs ]
42
00:01:37,508 --> 00:01:41,343
Six jewel heists in
the last week alone.
43
00:01:41,412 --> 00:01:43,345
Brett, what the hell is that?
44
00:01:43,380 --> 00:01:44,513
Brett: Oh, what? This?
45
00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:45,514
Oh, it's my Bezoar.
46
00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:46,415
Pretty cute, huh?
47
00:01:46,450 --> 00:01:48,417
Susie: Am I crazy,
or has it grown?
48
00:01:48,452 --> 00:01:49,518
Chris: Yeah, seriously, kid.
49
00:01:49,553 --> 00:01:51,153
What the hell are you
feeding that thing?
50
00:01:51,188 --> 00:01:52,888
429 in progress.
51
00:01:52,923 --> 00:01:53,622
2301 north Baker.
52
00:01:53,657 --> 00:01:54,590
All units respond.
53
00:01:54,625 --> 00:01:56,158
The diamond warehouse.
54
00:01:56,193 --> 00:01:57,593
Get over there, you three.
55
00:01:57,628 --> 00:01:58,884
Brett: Don't you
mean, "us four"?
56
00:01:59,004 --> 00:02:00,529
Just go.
57
00:02:00,598 --> 00:02:05,133
[ Alarm blaring ]
58
00:02:05,169 --> 00:02:07,235
Susie: Freeze!
59
00:02:07,271 --> 00:02:10,572
[ Gunshots ]
60
00:02:10,608 --> 00:02:15,110
Drops those rocks.
61
00:02:15,145 --> 00:02:17,512
Brett: Bezoar! No!
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00:02:17,581 --> 00:02:19,047
Susie: Who you working for?
63
00:02:19,116 --> 00:02:19,915
I want a name.
64
00:02:19,950 --> 00:02:26,054
Terry Lord -- owns an
auto shop on Alvarez.
65
00:02:26,090 --> 00:02:27,422
He's just the middle man.
66
00:02:27,491 --> 00:02:28,490
Brett: Aaaah!
67
00:02:28,525 --> 00:02:34,396
The guy you really want is...
Susie: Oh, good job, you gooch.
68
00:02:34,431 --> 00:02:35,964
He was gonna tell me everything.
69
00:02:36,033 --> 00:02:37,933
Brett: They shot my Bezoar!
70
00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:43,305
[ Cracking ]
71
00:02:43,374 --> 00:02:45,240
[ Creaking ]
72
00:02:53,016 --> 00:02:54,383
Whoa.
73
00:02:54,418 --> 00:02:57,019
It's another me.
74
00:02:57,054 --> 00:02:58,053
Hello.
75
00:02:58,122 --> 00:02:59,388
Chris: [ Sighs ] Great.
76
00:02:59,423 --> 00:03:00,288
Another Brett.
77
00:03:00,324 --> 00:03:02,457
Could we get the hairy
turd back, please?
78
00:03:02,493 --> 00:03:04,559
Brett: Geez
blagum frume clap.
79
00:03:04,595 --> 00:03:06,028
I beg your pardon?
80
00:03:06,096 --> 00:03:09,064
Brett: That means, "Let's
go get milkshakesin the new
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00:03:09,099 --> 00:03:11,366
secret friend language
I invented just now.
82
00:03:11,402 --> 00:03:13,001
Oh. I see.
83
00:03:13,037 --> 00:03:19,074
Brett: I'm gonna
name you "Bezoar."
84
00:03:19,143 --> 00:03:19,975
Chris: Okay, folks.
85
00:03:20,010 --> 00:03:22,277
Well, this looks like it's
gonna be a lot of fun.
86
00:03:24,981 --> 00:03:29,685
I'm always on the go, and I just
don't have time to stop and eat.
87
00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,620
That's why I love Bezoar bites.
88
00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:35,524
Bezoar bites are a nutritious
bite-sized snack formulated for
89
00:03:35,559 --> 00:03:37,225
today's active lifestyle.
90
00:03:37,261 --> 00:03:39,695
You'll like my bites.
91
00:03:42,298 --> 00:03:43,265
[ Door opens ]
92
00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:45,033
Chris: Terry Lord.
93
00:03:45,069 --> 00:03:46,601
Who wants to know?
94
00:03:46,637 --> 00:03:49,438
Hey, you're that Bezoar
guy from the commercials.
95
00:03:49,473 --> 00:03:50,405
I like your bites.
96
00:03:50,441 --> 00:03:51,506
Susie: Can it, Lord.
97
00:03:51,542 --> 00:03:52,507
We're U.S. marshals.
98
00:03:52,576 --> 00:03:53,675
Where are the diamonds?
99
00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:54,710
Diamonds?
100
00:03:54,745 --> 00:03:57,312
This is an auto body shop.
101
00:03:57,347 --> 00:04:00,615
Speaking of which, I'd like to do
some bodywork on you, little lady.
102
00:04:00,684 --> 00:04:04,319
Susie: Well, I think you should
fix that dent in your side, first.
103
00:04:04,354 --> 00:04:05,320
Ugh! Oh.
104
00:04:05,355 --> 00:04:08,390
Brett: And your
busted ear-view mirror.
105
00:04:08,425 --> 00:04:09,958
Aaaah!
106
00:04:09,993 --> 00:04:12,160
Aah! [ Groaning ]
107
00:04:12,229 --> 00:04:14,463
Chris: Or this
hole in your spine.
108
00:04:14,531 --> 00:04:15,263
[ Gunshot ]
109
00:04:15,332 --> 00:04:17,332
Sorry, I don't know
much about cars.
110
00:04:17,367 --> 00:04:18,166
Now, confess.
111
00:04:18,235 --> 00:04:20,102
You ain't getting
nothing out of me.
112
00:04:20,137 --> 00:04:21,069
Chris: All right.
113
00:04:21,105 --> 00:04:23,538
If I can't get anything out of
you, I'll just have to put
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00:04:23,574 --> 00:04:24,506
something into you.
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00:04:24,541 --> 00:04:25,774
[ Grunts ] Aah!
116
00:04:25,809 --> 00:04:27,242
Chris: Come on.
117
00:04:27,277 --> 00:04:28,343
All right, now.
118
00:04:28,378 --> 00:04:30,178
Talk, grease monkey. Talk.
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00:04:30,214 --> 00:04:31,179
[ As Terry ] Okay, okay.
120
00:04:31,248 --> 00:04:32,147
I confess. I confess.
121
00:04:32,182 --> 00:04:33,548
I'm the head of
the diamond ring.
122
00:04:33,584 --> 00:04:34,249
You're right.
123
00:04:34,284 --> 00:04:35,183
You deserve a raise.
124
00:04:35,219 --> 00:04:36,718
[ As self ] Well,
thank you very much.
125
00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,620
[ As Terry ] I'm talking
about your I.Q.
126
00:04:38,655 --> 00:04:40,689
[ As self ] Hey, I thought
you were the dummy.
127
00:04:40,724 --> 00:04:42,424
[ As Terry ] No,
you're the dummy.
128
00:04:42,459 --> 00:04:46,361
[ As self ] Okay, well, just for
that, you can go...straight to hell.
129
00:04:46,396 --> 00:04:48,330
[ Brett and Susie laugh ]
130
00:04:48,365 --> 00:04:52,434
Brett: Oh, yeah!
131
00:04:52,503 --> 00:04:55,537
Susie: That's great, Chris,
but he's just the middle man.
132
00:04:55,606 --> 00:04:57,172
Chris: What are
you talking about?
133
00:04:57,241 --> 00:04:58,140
No, he just confessed.
134
00:04:58,175 --> 00:04:59,708
The case is closed, sweetheart.
135
00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:01,176
I don't know, Chris.
136
00:05:01,245 --> 00:05:03,512
I thought that confession
was insincere.
137
00:05:03,547 --> 00:05:12,154
It seemed awfully tongue...
In cheeks.
138
00:05:12,222 --> 00:05:14,523
Chris: Very nice, Bezoar.
139
00:05:14,591 --> 00:05:18,326
Very nice.
140
00:05:18,362 --> 00:05:21,797
[ Lullaby music plays ]
141
00:05:21,865 --> 00:05:24,599
Brett: Good work today, Beez.
142
00:05:24,635 --> 00:05:25,801
Nighty-night.
143
00:05:25,869 --> 00:05:29,604
[ Smooches ]
144
00:05:29,673 --> 00:05:32,474
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
145
00:05:32,509 --> 00:05:34,509
[ Door opens ]
146
00:05:34,578 --> 00:05:38,146
[ Door closes ]
147
00:05:38,215 --> 00:05:40,515
[ Indistinct chanting ]
148
00:05:45,755 --> 00:05:47,656
Susie: Oh.
149
00:05:47,691 --> 00:05:48,690
Hey, Bezoar.
150
00:05:48,725 --> 00:05:49,658
Hey, Susie.
151
00:05:49,693 --> 00:05:51,226
What are you doing here?
152
00:05:51,261 --> 00:05:53,495
Susie: I'm just
getting some files.
153
00:05:53,564 --> 00:05:54,496
That's cool.
154
00:05:54,565 --> 00:05:58,099
I was just downloading the
new Sade album to everyone's
155
00:05:58,135 --> 00:05:59,234
computers.
156
00:05:59,269 --> 00:06:02,237
Susie: Oh, I...love Sade.
157
00:06:02,306 --> 00:06:04,506
Really? Me too.
158
00:06:04,575 --> 00:06:06,675
You know, Susie, you're
a great marshal.
159
00:06:06,710 --> 00:06:09,544
It's too bad this place
is such a boy's club.
160
00:06:09,580 --> 00:06:13,415
Susie: Well, I've
come to terms with it.
161
00:06:13,483 --> 00:06:16,585
It's a shame that after a
long, hard day of busting
162
00:06:16,653 --> 00:06:20,288
criminals, you have to come
back here and face the greatest
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00:06:20,324 --> 00:06:24,759
villain of all --
small-mindedness.
164
00:06:24,795 --> 00:06:27,829
Susie: Do you want
to go get a drink?
165
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:34,302
Chris: [ Muffled ] So, that's
why I work the testicles.
166
00:06:34,371 --> 00:06:35,737
You don't see the bruises.
167
00:06:35,772 --> 00:06:37,305
Wow.
168
00:06:37,374 --> 00:06:39,374
Everything you say is so wise.
169
00:06:39,409 --> 00:06:43,211
From now on, I'm going to call you
"Mr. Wisdom."
170
00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:45,280
Chris: Ooh.
171
00:06:45,315 --> 00:06:46,581
Susie: Hey, Bezoar.
172
00:06:46,650 --> 00:06:49,117
I didn't hear you
leave this morning.
173
00:06:49,186 --> 00:06:51,453
I don't know what
you're talking about.
174
00:06:51,488 --> 00:06:53,622
Susie: Bezoar, we
had sex last night.
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00:06:53,657 --> 00:06:56,191
I know that we were both
a little tipsy, but...
176
00:06:56,260 --> 00:06:58,393
Susie, I think you
had sex with Brett.
177
00:06:58,462 --> 00:07:01,296
He must have tricked you into
thinking that he was me.
178
00:07:01,365 --> 00:07:02,464
Susie: What?
179
00:07:02,499 --> 00:07:03,531
Brett: Hey.
180
00:07:03,567 --> 00:07:05,634
What are you guys talking about?
181
00:07:05,669 --> 00:07:06,301
Stuff?
182
00:07:06,370 --> 00:07:08,637
Susie: Bastard.
183
00:07:08,705 --> 00:07:10,472
[ Laughter ]
184
00:07:10,507 --> 00:07:11,740
Brett: What was that about?
185
00:07:11,808 --> 00:07:12,540
Who cares?
186
00:07:12,576 --> 00:07:15,744
That slap was the most contact
you've had with a woman in years.
187
00:07:15,779 --> 00:07:17,379
[ Laughter ]
188
00:07:17,447 --> 00:07:19,180
Brett: C-come on, Bezoar.
189
00:07:19,216 --> 00:07:21,650
C-c-c-c-come on,
you stuttering prick.
190
00:07:21,718 --> 00:07:23,818
Chris: [ Laughs ]
191
00:07:23,887 --> 00:07:26,721
[ Laughter ]
192
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:34,462
If you're like me, you know
the importance of a healthy diet
193
00:07:34,498 --> 00:07:35,530
and active lifestyle.
194
00:07:35,599 --> 00:07:39,434
Unfortunately, if you're like
me, you have also been tricked
195
00:07:39,469 --> 00:07:43,505
into eating Bezoar bites, which
lab studies show are packed with
196
00:07:43,540 --> 00:07:45,373
hair and poker chips, A.K.A.
197
00:07:45,442 --> 00:07:46,441
"Bezoar fuel."
198
00:07:46,476 --> 00:07:49,911
And now you have a Bezoar
growing inside you.
199
00:07:50,246 --> 00:07:51,546
Bezoars may seem great at first.
200
00:07:51,615 --> 00:07:52,614
Chris: [ Laughs ]
201
00:07:52,649 --> 00:07:53,348
What is that?
202
00:07:53,417 --> 00:07:56,618
Oh, it's what a
Bezoar penis looks like.
203
00:07:56,687 --> 00:07:58,453
Chris: [ Laughs ]
204
00:07:58,488 --> 00:08:01,356
But give them enough time,
and they'll steal your friends,
205
00:08:01,391 --> 00:08:06,695
take over your life, and
ultimately try to kill you.
206
00:08:06,763 --> 00:08:09,764
Thankfully, now there's
Enzorbia brand yogurt.
207
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:13,702
Enzorbia is packed with powerful
probiotic cultures proven to
208
00:08:13,737 --> 00:08:15,437
kill harmful Bezoars.
209
00:08:15,472 --> 00:08:22,210
So, try Enzorbia today and
say "bye-bye" to Bezoars.
210
00:08:22,279 --> 00:08:23,211
Hi.
211
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:26,681
I'm Joanna Kerns, and you've
probably seen my commercials for
212
00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:28,483
Enzorbia anti-Bezoar yogurt.
213
00:08:28,518 --> 00:08:32,487
Unfortunately, the woman in
those commercials is not me.
214
00:08:32,522 --> 00:08:33,655
It's my Bezoar.
215
00:08:33,724 --> 00:08:37,492
Enzorbia is packed with enzymes
that make Bezoars grow faster,
216
00:08:37,561 --> 00:08:39,761
stronger, and more
evil inside you.
217
00:08:39,830 --> 00:08:42,831
If you have been eating
Enzorbia, stop immediately and
218
00:08:42,899 --> 00:08:43,898
see your doctor.
219
00:08:43,934 --> 00:08:47,469
Tell them Joanna Kerns sent you.
220
00:08:47,504 --> 00:08:50,005
Chris: I can't believe we
trusted that disgusting thing.
221
00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,740
Susie: Chris,
stop eating that.
222
00:08:51,775 --> 00:08:54,943
Chris: Mm.
223
00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:57,278
Brett: Hey, Bezoar.
224
00:09:05,021 --> 00:09:08,390
Aah! [ Grunting ]
225
00:09:08,458 --> 00:09:11,626
We think everyone in town
is infected with a Bezoar.
226
00:09:11,661 --> 00:09:13,294
It's only a matter of time.
227
00:09:13,363 --> 00:09:14,562
Susie: What do we do?
228
00:09:14,631 --> 00:09:17,832
Scientists say the only way
to stop the Bezoar epidemic is
229
00:09:17,868 --> 00:09:19,467
to kill the original Bezoar.
230
00:09:19,536 --> 00:09:20,835
Susie: This is still on?
231
00:09:20,904 --> 00:09:24,439
Is it a commercial,
or a whole show?
232
00:09:24,474 --> 00:09:25,373
[ Gun cocks ]
233
00:09:25,442 --> 00:09:27,509
Chris: This thing ends now.
234
00:09:27,544 --> 00:09:29,744
Brett: Get back in me.
235
00:09:29,813 --> 00:09:30,912
[ Grunts ]
236
00:09:30,947 --> 00:09:34,983
Chris: Bezoar.
237
00:09:35,018 --> 00:09:36,818
Brett: Shoot him, guys.
238
00:09:36,887 --> 00:09:38,053
No, kill him.
239
00:09:38,088 --> 00:09:39,421
He's the Bezoar.
240
00:09:39,456 --> 00:09:41,256
We've got to shoot one of them.
241
00:09:41,324 --> 00:09:43,458
Chris: Um...
Brett: No, no, no, no, no.
242
00:09:43,527 --> 00:09:44,325
I'm the Brett.
243
00:09:44,361 --> 00:09:46,594
The one with the Bezoar
penis on my forehead.
244
00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:49,631
Chris: He's the one that we're
not supposed to shoot, right?
245
00:09:49,666 --> 00:09:50,732
Susie: I don't know.
246
00:09:50,767 --> 00:09:52,734
Really? Between him and me?
247
00:09:52,803 --> 00:09:53,902
Come on, Susie.
248
00:09:53,937 --> 00:09:55,336
We had something.
249
00:09:55,372 --> 00:09:56,438
Brett: What?
250
00:09:56,506 --> 00:09:57,872
Susie: Oh, Bezoar.
251
00:09:57,908 --> 00:10:01,810
Chris, Mr. wisdom. Huh?
252
00:10:01,845 --> 00:10:04,546
Chris: Um...
Brett: Guys, if it wasn't for
253
00:10:04,614 --> 00:10:08,616
me, you would've never even met
Bezoar -- the coolest guy in town!
254
00:10:08,652 --> 00:10:10,785
Shoot, damn it.
255
00:10:12,755 --> 00:10:16,891
Well, thank God you killed him before
things really got out of hand.
256
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:24,532
And, Brett, I hope you learned a lesson
about eating things that aren't food.
257
00:10:24,568 --> 00:10:26,601
Brett?
258
00:10:26,670 --> 00:10:29,571
Yes. I am Brett.
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00:10:29,606 --> 00:10:30,572
Where you guys been?
260
00:10:30,607 --> 00:10:34,709
I've been waiting at the
courts for two hours now.
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Our weekly game of hoops.
262
00:10:36,413 --> 00:10:37,345
Susie: Oh.
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00:10:37,380 --> 00:10:40,882
Chris: Oh, right.
264
00:10:40,951 --> 00:10:42,584
Get it?
265
00:10:42,619 --> 00:10:44,995
I'm Bezoar.
266
00:10:46,422 --> 00:10:55,597
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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00:10:55,632 --> 00:10:58,867
to the tattoo of their boots
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00:10:58,902 --> 00:11:01,870
goodbye, Susanna
269
00:11:01,938 --> 00:11:07,509
and Savannah belle
270
00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:12,109
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
19851
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