Original subtitles

Susie: Look at all this stolen art, Chris. It must be worth millions.

Chris: Oh, Susie, please. Don't be so naive.

Everybody knows that artwork is like female bodybuilders...

Splendidly beautiful on the outside, but full of drugs on the inside.

Watch this.

[ Canvas ripping ]

I should have learned my lesson with Sherice.

She was a female bodybuilder I dated/slashed.

Well, it's marshal Chris Monsanto and his lackey friends.

Chris: Lackey co-workers, if you please, Doolan.

We seldom socialize outside of work.

I usually collect masterpieces, Monsanto.

But tonight, I'm gonna paint one...

With your blood!

[ Gunshots ]

- Brett: Chris, I'm out of bullets! - Chris: Yeah, so am I.

Well, I guess this is it.

Wait, I have an idea. Here. Lie flat, Brett.

Lie flat.

Shh, shh, shh, shh!

Hey, fellas...

Batter up!

[ Thumping ]

- [ Birds chirping ] - Chief: Inspired work, Monsanto.

You took down most of Doolan's gang.

Chris: Well, thank you, chief, but you know something?

I couldn't have done it without my two partners...

Swifty and Pete.

[ Laughter ]

Brett: What about me, huh? [ Chuckles ]

I did, uh, pretty good too, right?

I was the bat.

Chief: You're right, Brett.

You were indispensable out there...

And you too, Gun.

[ Laughter ]

And let's not forget about you, Pencil.

Great job filling out that report.

[ Laughter ]

You see, Brett, congratulating you would be a waste of breath,

breath we could be using to laugh at you.

[ Laughter ]

Chris: Cheer up, pal.

You know, if you hadn't been around to be my human bat,

I would have had to use somebody else... anybody else, actually.

Brett: I'm not just a prop.

What about the time I saved those kids?

[ Screaming and crying ]

[ Crunching ]

Oh [bleep]!

Brett: So it wasn't my idea to crush my skull?

[ Sighs ]

I guess we're the same... you and me.

People use us, wave us around, and toss us aside,

and there's always another lined up.

Don't listen to those jerks, Brett.

If I were you, I'd quit.

Brett: Quit?

But what would I do?

I've always been with the marshals' office.

Chris is my friend, right?

I wouldn't know where else to go.

Why don't you join Doolan's gang?

That would show 'em.

Ye-a-a-ah.

Welcome aboard, gentlemen.

I hope you like committing crime, my friends.

[ Door opens ] Looky what I found...

Monsanto's human bat.

Brett: Hey, fellas.

Tie him up and toss him in the incinerator.

I hope you like being hot, my friend.

Brett: I do, but, uh, I'm not a marshal anymore.

I quit the force, and I'm here to join your gang.

So, do I got to fill something out or... I brought three forms of I.D.

If you're not with the marshal, then prove it.

Try this.

[ Crunching ]

[ Laughing ]

Welcome aboard.

[ Laughter ]

Brett: It is funny.

[ Laughter continues ]

[ Birds chirping ]

Chris: Hey, has anyone seen Brett's mouth?

I need his teeth.

When I got this, I thought it was a twist-off.

Susie: He quit last night.

Chief: Chris, Susie, I want you to meet Brett's replacement, Brady Giles.

Chris: Ah, how you doin', handsome?

The [bleep] am I supposed to do with that?

Relax. I'm just clawing with ya.

I like to give people the business...

the lobster business...

on account of my [bleep] Claws.

Here, let me help you with that.

[ Clatters ]

Chris: Wow!

[ Chuckles ]

Geez, we get Brett's replacement, and as a bonus, he's a freak, too.

Chief: Brady, I want you to meet your other partner, Susie.

Ooh, yeah, would I like to pinch those fun bags...

Snap, snap, snap.

Susie: If you touch me, I will snap, snap, snap your head off.

Mm, yum, yum. Daddy likey.

Snap, snap.

[ Laughter ]

Everybody keep still and quiet... that way, nobody gets hurt.

I'm going to the vault, where they keep the money.

Mr. Horse, make sure no one trips the alarm.

Brett: Uh, FYI, guys, we're all gonna be using code names based on animals.

So don't shout an animal, or we might get confused,

like if you say "dog," I might think you're talking about Mr. Dog,

my good friend right over here, Carlos Ruiz.

What are you doing, man?

Brett: Oh, nothing, Mr. Dog... uh, sorry...

Carlos Ruiz.

- [ Siren wails ] - It's the police.

Let's get away!

[ Door rattles ]

Why is this door locked?

Brett: Oh, I locked it to keep the cops out.

You bloody fool!

Check the other exit!

[ Thuds ]

Chris: I'm jammed.

Okay, I got an idea.

Um, lie down.

Come on. Hey, lie down.

No! Hands off me, Queerbones!

- Chris: That's it. That's it. - I don't crawl that way!

Chris: Come on, you're my new bat!

- Lay off me, sissy! - Chris: Stay still!

Leave me alone!

Chris: Great.

Nice job, crab boy. Doolan just got away.

[Bleep] you, Edward Fingerhands.

Chris: God, you suck.

Brett: Hey, guys, just off the top of my old spaghetti,

next time we rob a bank,

we should take the money with us before we leave.

- Can I waste him? - Not yet.

[ Crunching ]

We can still use him for something.

Brett, I want you to tell me...

everything you know about the marshals' office.

What kind of firepower do they have?

What are their intelligence capabilities?

Brett: Hmm, let me see. The marshals' office.

Uh, oh. The toilet clogs if you flush too many magazines.

I see.

My God, I see. You really are good for nothing.

Well...

Almost nothing.

[ Crunching ]

Chief: You really let us down, Monsanto.

Doolan got away.

It was an utter failure.

Chris: You know, chief, I think you'd be singing a different tune

if old "Claws Kinski" over here had let me use him as a human bat.

Chief: Over the line, Chris.

The man is deformed.

That's all right.

He's just a little steamed because I'm the first guy

who wouldn't lie down and get stiff for him.

[ Laughter ]

Susie: An alarm just went off at First National Bank.

It's time we finish this.

It's a holdup!

Get down! Hands on your heads!

Get down on the ground, you!

Get down!

Hands on your heads!

Sit down, all of you!

Here.

[ Door opens ]

Susie: Freeze!

No!

Brett: Hey, how's it going in there?

Chris: Brett?

What are you doing here, Brett?

Brett: Oh, hi, Chris.

I joined Doolan's gang.

I'm his bat now.

Hey, kid, I know this is a really weird time to say this,

but, uh, I think you're a good cop.

Susie: Thanks.

Chris: Brett, come on, now.

You... you don't have to do this, Brett.

Brett: But it's all I'm good for.

Chris: Don't you see?

You're... you're a mindless sack of doorknobs whose only talent is...

is taking commands from somebody else, but, Brett,

that's a wonderful attribute to have, pal.

- Brett: Really? - Chris: Now go limp, Brett.

Come on. Go limp for me.

The way you look, uh...

makes me want to... want to... want to do this.

Susie: What is wrong with you?

Come on! You've been flirting me up ever since I started this gig!

Susie: Ugh! Get away from me, you creep!

Come on!

Chris: Go limp. Go limp.

Brett: You're right, Chris.

I'm gonna do it for you, buddy!

I'm going limp!

Oi, what you doing?

Straighten up!

Stop it!

Brett: [ Grunts ]

[ Gun cocks ]

[ Whistles ]

Looks like you could use a little help.

Brett: Pencil!

All: Looks like you could use a little more help!

Brett: Pen-n-n-c-i-i-i-il!

Thanks, Pencil!

"You're welcome, Brett."

Chris: Okay.

[ Chuckling ] That's enough, Brett.

That's fine.

[ Gun cocks ]

Susie: Chris, behind you!

[ Thuds ]

I was a good guy.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Oh [bleep]!

Synch by Benfo. www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0