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1
00:00:01,776 --> 00:00:05,236
Well, all I can say is
"T.G.I.F.F.F."
2
00:00:05,237 --> 00:00:07,471
thank god it's
Foreign food Friday.
3
00:00:07,472 --> 00:00:09,946
You always plan the
Best theme nights, buddy.
4
00:00:09,947 --> 00:00:12,995
So, what do they got here...
like, Albanian-style twizzlers?
5
00:00:12,996 --> 00:00:15,258
I'm just gonna get
some white rice.
6
00:00:15,259 --> 00:00:18,333
Oh, geez.
You guys are so uncultured.
7
00:00:20,859 --> 00:00:22,343
Ah. Look who's over there.
8
00:00:22,344 --> 00:00:25,841
Zamyr Ristani and his crew...
Albanian mafia.
9
00:00:25,842 --> 00:00:28,683
Word is, tensions are flaring
up between rival factions.
10
00:00:28,684 --> 00:00:30,485
Could mean a lot of bloodshed.
11
00:00:30,486 --> 00:00:34,578
Susie... Albanians, bloodshed?
I don't think so.
12
00:00:50,859 --> 00:00:53,362
All right, uh, look,
I'll be right back.
13
00:00:54,104 --> 00:00:55,668
Uh, order me some quofte,
14
00:00:55,669 --> 00:00:57,591
a bean jahni soup,
and some, uh...
15
00:00:57,592 --> 00:01:00,448
raki manash, hold the mulberries.
Thank you.
16
00:01:05,521 --> 00:01:08,280
Easy, Monsanto.
17
00:01:08,281 --> 00:01:10,508
You made a new year's resolution
not to shoot anybody in the back.
18
00:01:13,624 --> 00:01:15,515
Nothing personal, Fonzarelli.
19
00:01:21,270 --> 00:01:23,433
Yeah. Okay.
20
00:01:24,183 --> 00:01:25,531
Freeze.
21
00:01:25,532 --> 00:01:27,730
You're under arrest
for the murder of Zamyr Ristani
22
00:01:27,731 --> 00:01:30,111
and his two henchmen.
And, to be honest,
23
00:01:30,112 --> 00:01:33,376
I'm gonna have to pin the murder
of that motorcycle guy on you, too.
24
00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,792
-- Sync by Rafael UPD --
www.addic7ed.com
25
00:01:38,954 --> 00:01:42,824
That hit was ordered
by this man... Adnan Zagreda.
26
00:01:42,825 --> 00:01:46,686
He's putting out more hits than
Adelina Ismalji.
27
00:01:48,297 --> 00:01:49,987
The Albanian pop star.
28
00:01:49,988 --> 00:01:53,413
Unfortunately, no one from the
restaurant was willing to testify,
29
00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:55,811
which makes you three
our only witnesses.
30
00:01:55,812 --> 00:01:57,305
Well, you can
count on us, chief.
31
00:01:57,306 --> 00:02:00,869
I'm gonna sing like a canary.
And I'm gonna squeal like a rat.
32
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:03,117
Think you're covered
with two witnesses.
33
00:02:03,118 --> 00:02:04,979
-Good. Great. I'll see you.
-Sit down, Chris.
34
00:02:05,580 --> 00:02:07,847
Zagreda's goons are gonna
be looking for you three,
35
00:02:07,848 --> 00:02:09,884
so you better lay low
until the trial.
36
00:02:09,885 --> 00:02:12,053
We've got a safe house for you
in Elmwood park.
37
00:02:12,054 --> 00:02:14,022
Elmwood pa...
ugggggh.
38
00:02:20,029 --> 00:02:22,463
We should go check out
the mall.
39
00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:26,868
I hear they have a pants store.
40
00:02:27,636 --> 00:02:29,220
I can't take this place anymore.
41
00:02:29,221 --> 00:02:32,132
I'm gonna go to the garage and
see if there's anything I can huff.
42
00:02:33,427 --> 00:02:36,274
Oh, hopefully, that's the Albanians,
come to blow my brains out.
43
00:02:36,275 --> 00:02:38,030
Who is it?
44
00:02:38,031 --> 00:02:41,998
Hi!
Welcome to Elmwood park!
45
00:02:41,999 --> 00:02:45,402
Well. Who are your new
friends here, sweety bride?
46
00:02:46,055 --> 00:02:48,595
I'm Stan Goodman,
and this is my wife, patty.
47
00:02:48,596 --> 00:02:53,700
Stan and patty.
Well, the Goodmans. That's cute.
48
00:02:53,701 --> 00:02:58,700
I'm, uh, Crince, and this is,
uh, my bride, Brenda.
49
00:02:58,701 --> 00:03:00,201
Hey.
50
00:03:01,276 --> 00:03:04,511
Oh, I-I'm sorry. That's, uh...
That's Bruce.
51
00:03:05,741 --> 00:03:07,851
He's our male sex companion.
52
00:03:08,944 --> 00:03:11,741
-You're a threesome?
-Y-yes.
53
00:03:13,115 --> 00:03:17,756
-Are you two polyamorous?
-No. We are not.
54
00:03:17,757 --> 00:03:19,803
And no one else in this
neighborhood is, either.
55
00:03:19,804 --> 00:03:22,790
All right, well, look, if you ever
change your minds, come on back.
56
00:03:22,791 --> 00:03:25,693
We could always use an extra slice
of lettuce on our sex sandwich.
57
00:03:25,694 --> 00:03:28,902
A-actually, uh, I think it
would be best if we just...
58
00:03:28,903 --> 00:03:31,298
Kept our distance.
Bye!
59
00:03:31,299 --> 00:03:32,700
-Sweetheart?
-Gosh.
60
00:03:32,701 --> 00:03:34,922
-There you go.
-Come on, honey.
61
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:37,322
-Okay!
-What?
62
00:03:37,323 --> 00:03:41,438
-So, are we swingers now?
-Yes, we're swingers.
63
00:03:41,439 --> 00:03:43,237
I'm going to go vomit.
64
00:03:45,047 --> 00:03:50,073
All right, what else does
our horny little family need?
65
00:03:50,074 --> 00:03:52,833
Ah - tinfoil.
Excuse me.
66
00:03:52,834 --> 00:03:55,890
Um, could you recommend a
brand of tinfoil for swingers?
67
00:03:55,891 --> 00:03:57,885
We only sell family foil here.
68
00:03:57,886 --> 00:03:59,941
Why don't you three go shop
somewhere else?
69
00:04:00,549 --> 00:04:03,196
You swingers aren't wanted
in Elmwood park.
70
00:04:03,197 --> 00:04:05,004
Why don't you go
back to the big city,
71
00:04:05,005 --> 00:04:06,681
with the other Perverts?
72
00:04:06,682 --> 00:04:10,104
Shame on you.
Shame on all of you!
73
00:04:10,105 --> 00:04:13,419
Our lifestyle is both beautiful
and sensual.
74
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:16,111
What happened to "different strokes for different folks"?
75
00:04:16,112 --> 00:04:17,612
Come on, Brenda.
76
00:04:17,613 --> 00:04:20,915
We'll buy your diet popsicles at
a more open-minded establishment.
77
00:04:20,916 --> 00:04:23,017
Come on. Hold hands.
78
00:04:30,225 --> 00:04:33,061
What a bunch of stiffs
in this town.
79
00:04:33,062 --> 00:04:35,730
You two must feel
right at home, huh?
80
00:04:37,399 --> 00:04:38,899
Yeah.
81
00:04:45,707 --> 00:04:47,630
"We know who you are.
82
00:04:47,631 --> 00:04:51,918
Come to 487 broad street tonight
if you know what's good for you."
83
00:04:51,919 --> 00:04:54,020
Do you think the Albanians
have found us?
84
00:05:01,056 --> 00:05:02,624
Here goes.
85
00:05:07,729 --> 00:05:11,150
Hello, friends.
Welcome to the ambrosia club.
86
00:05:11,151 --> 00:05:13,334
Come on in.
Let me show you around.
87
00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:17,484
Chris, I think this is
a swingers club.
88
00:05:17,485 --> 00:05:19,753
Yeah. Finally, a little spice.
89
00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:24,710
Behold...
a garden of pure pleasure.
90
00:05:31,253 --> 00:05:34,786
Looks like you guys are
hungry. My name's Dan.
91
00:05:34,787 --> 00:05:36,569
Breakfast, lunch, dinner...
bam, bam.
92
00:05:39,361 --> 00:05:41,316
Disgusting.
93
00:05:42,464 --> 00:05:45,791
This is the bar. We got
juices, tonic. No alcohol.
94
00:05:45,792 --> 00:05:48,188
We don't have our
liquor license.
95
00:05:48,189 --> 00:05:49,971
And this is the rumpus room.
96
00:05:49,972 --> 00:05:52,885
We got a steamy pool table
and a beanbag chair.
97
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:55,677
And that hot piece of tail
being manhandled
98
00:05:55,678 --> 00:05:58,980
by that weird-looking dude
is my wife, Louise.
99
00:05:58,981 --> 00:06:01,409
Hey, hon! I want you to
meet some new friends.
100
00:06:02,651 --> 00:06:07,097
What do you think of the place?
Uh... I love the color scheme.
101
00:06:07,098 --> 00:06:08,433
Thank you.
102
00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:11,849
We bought the paint at Lowe's...
That new one, across town.
103
00:06:11,850 --> 00:06:17,055
And speaking of new lows,
it would be my honor
104
00:06:17,056 --> 00:06:19,342
to do you while I watch your
husbands get it on my wife
105
00:06:19,343 --> 00:06:22,927
while my buddy Samuel watches
and masturbates, Milady.
106
00:06:22,928 --> 00:06:25,944
Okay. You know,
chuck, we'd be happy
107
00:06:25,945 --> 00:06:28,825
to do a lot of really sickening
things with you two monsters,
108
00:06:28,826 --> 00:06:31,109
but I got to tell you,
this place...
109
00:06:31,110 --> 00:06:35,642
Well, it's just not up to our very
discerning swinging specifications.
110
00:06:35,643 --> 00:06:39,000
What are you doing?
You're blowing it. Samuel's good to go.
111
00:06:39,001 --> 00:06:40,957
What do you mean,
Specifications?
112
00:06:40,958 --> 00:06:43,775
Uh, well, for one
thing, any swingers club
113
00:06:43,776 --> 00:06:45,325
worth its scented body oils
114
00:06:45,326 --> 00:06:47,503
would have a variety
of theme rooms.
115
00:06:47,504 --> 00:06:49,834
What do you mean, theme rooms?
116
00:06:49,835 --> 00:06:52,531
Well, I'll show you.
117
00:06:55,211 --> 00:06:56,518
Looks very nice.
118
00:06:56,519 --> 00:06:58,737
We were in too deep
to change our story,
119
00:06:58,738 --> 00:07:01,085
but the theme rooms
were a good way to stall.
120
00:07:01,086 --> 00:07:03,203
Plus, business was booming.
121
00:07:03,204 --> 00:07:06,113
As soon as the theme rooms came in,
everything changed.
122
00:07:06,114 --> 00:07:09,768
Attendance was up 40%
in the first month alone.
123
00:07:09,769 --> 00:07:13,960
Suddenly, everyone was swinging...
even those you'd least expect.
124
00:07:14,612 --> 00:07:16,226
Dan was having a field day.
125
00:07:16,917 --> 00:07:20,141
We were part of a family,
but it couldn't last forever.
126
00:07:20,142 --> 00:07:21,507
Sooner or later,
127
00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:24,774
someone was gonna figure out
we weren't doing any actual swinging.
128
00:07:24,775 --> 00:07:26,708
To avoid being Dan-handled,
129
00:07:26,709 --> 00:07:30,435
I often had to hide in
this voiceover-themed room.
130
00:07:30,436 --> 00:07:33,997
-hey. There you are.
-How are you, Chuckie?
131
00:07:33,998 --> 00:07:38,804
Crince, I love you like a
brother... With benefits.
132
00:07:38,805 --> 00:07:40,789
It's about time
I showed you something
133
00:07:40,790 --> 00:07:42,939
that not everybody
gets a chance to see.
134
00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:57,720
Voilà!
135
00:07:57,721 --> 00:08:00,630
Hey, are these those new sex
guns I read about in mother Jones?
136
00:08:00,631 --> 00:08:03,285
Freedom like we do,
137
00:08:03,286 --> 00:08:06,320
you have to be willing to fight
and even die to protect it.
138
00:08:06,321 --> 00:08:08,895
Swingers across the country
are in a fight to the death
139
00:08:08,896 --> 00:08:11,355
-with the nog-occupied government.
-Nog?
140
00:08:11,356 --> 00:08:14,936
Monogamous!
The enemies of freedom.
141
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:18,034
They want to take away
our actual rights
142
00:08:18,035 --> 00:08:19,889
that our founding
fathers found.
143
00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:22,166
That's why us swingers
must rise up
144
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:25,347
and overthrow the nogs
so that we can create a swingocracy.
145
00:08:25,348 --> 00:08:26,798
It's all detailed in here.
146
00:08:28,446 --> 00:08:31,178
We're days away from striking.
We're gonna take out city hall,
147
00:08:31,179 --> 00:08:33,901
where thousands of people
apply for marriage licenses.
148
00:08:33,902 --> 00:08:35,829
We think they'll
make the connection.
149
00:08:35,830 --> 00:08:39,654
Will you join us, Crince?
Yeah. Right. Yeah.
150
00:08:42,344 --> 00:08:45,678
And so the swinger movement
is actually
151
00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:49,316
a vast underground organization
of antigovernment militias.
152
00:08:49,317 --> 00:08:51,822
Plus, as it turns out, they're
kind of all gross-looking.
153
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,687
I've got an idea.
154
00:08:56,290 --> 00:08:57,950
You sure this is gonna work?
155
00:08:57,951 --> 00:09:00,455
Believe me, chuck, if we're
gonna take down the government,
156
00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:03,237
we're gonna need as many
soldiers as we can muster.
157
00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:04,619
All right, here we go.
Let's do this.
158
00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:07,597
In five, four, three, two, one.
159
00:09:07,598 --> 00:09:10,764
Hey, horndogs. Come on down
to the Ambrosia club,
160
00:09:10,765 --> 00:09:13,437
where you can indulge in your
deepest fantasies in a safe,
161
00:09:13,438 --> 00:09:17,131
moderately clean,
luxurious environment.
162
00:09:17,132 --> 00:09:20,340
It's the only swingers club
endorsed by me.
163
00:09:20,341 --> 00:09:24,604
Come on down to the Ambrosia club.
487 broad street, Elmwood park.
164
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:27,127
We'll all be waiting for you.
Come on down.
165
00:09:37,696 --> 00:09:40,420
The nogs are here!
They've come for us!
166
00:09:42,106 --> 00:09:44,052
The plan worked.
167
00:09:45,553 --> 00:09:48,532
Zagreda's hit squad
stormed the ambrosia.
168
00:09:53,187 --> 00:09:56,420
The swingers never
saw it coming. oh, yeah!
169
00:09:56,421 --> 00:09:59,887
They tried to fight back, but they
were no match for the Albanians.
170
00:10:05,382 --> 00:10:07,584
It was an all-out massacre.
171
00:10:09,854 --> 00:10:11,860
A bloodbath.
172
00:10:17,836 --> 00:10:19,820
That's when I stepped in.
173
00:10:26,410 --> 00:10:27,967
After the ambrosia,
174
00:10:27,968 --> 00:10:30,474
the big corporate
swingers clubs took over.
175
00:10:30,475 --> 00:10:32,184
Now they look like Disneyland,
176
00:10:32,185 --> 00:10:34,989
especially the one that has
Mr. Chode's wild glide.
177
00:10:34,990 --> 00:10:37,774
In the end, I ended up
right back here,
178
00:10:37,775 --> 00:10:41,538
in my plain vanilla town
with my white-bread partners.
179
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,889
And that was that.
180
00:10:45,890 --> 00:10:51,890
-- Sync by Rafael UPD --
www.addic7ed.com
181
00:10:51,940 --> 00:10:56,490
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