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1
00:00:02,612 --> 00:00:04,458
This is it, Monsanto.
2
00:00:04,459 --> 00:00:06,340
I've been waiting a long time for this.
3
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Chris: All right.
4
00:00:07,402 --> 00:00:09,620
I'll play along. You hungry?
5
00:00:09,621 --> 00:00:11,662
- What?
- Chris: Eat a piece.
6
00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:14,613
[ Both grunting ]
7
00:00:24,135 --> 00:00:25,944
- Calm down.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
8
00:00:25,945 --> 00:00:27,418
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
9
00:00:27,419 --> 00:00:28,977
It's quiet time now.
10
00:00:28,978 --> 00:00:30,322
Sleepy time.
11
00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:32,335
Oh, and we're drifting off...
12
00:00:32,336 --> 00:00:35,165
♪ To fairyland ♪
13
00:00:35,166 --> 00:00:37,854
♪ we two ♪
14
00:00:37,855 --> 00:00:39,242
Shh.
15
00:00:41,118 --> 00:00:42,278
[ Sighs ]
16
00:00:42,279 --> 00:00:44,118
Chris: Oh, one more thing.
17
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:48,771
[ Gunshot ]
18
00:00:51,322 --> 00:00:53,778
I'll make sure to send
my dry-cleaning bill...
19
00:00:53,779 --> 00:00:54,993
To hell.
20
00:00:54,994 --> 00:01:00,381
[ Cheers and applause ]
21
00:01:01,189 --> 00:01:05,244
Folks, Popeye this... el page-o uno.
22
00:01:05,245 --> 00:01:07,222
Chief: That's quite a haul, Monsanto.
23
00:01:07,302 --> 00:01:08,647
You're the toast of the town.
24
00:01:08,648 --> 00:01:09,989
Marshall Chris Monsanto?
25
00:01:09,990 --> 00:01:11,824
Chris: Well, now, that depends on...
26
00:01:12,083 --> 00:01:13,908
Oh. You're from the library, right?
27
00:01:13,909 --> 00:01:15,209
This is for you.
28
00:01:15,210 --> 00:01:16,626
Congratulations.
29
00:01:16,627 --> 00:01:17,763
Chris: Oh.
30
00:01:17,866 --> 00:01:20,756
Well...Thank you.
31
00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:26,535
- [ Gasps ]
- Susie: What is it, Chris?
32
00:01:26,536 --> 00:01:27,554
Chris: Oh, it's nothing.
33
00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:32,376
Just an invitation to a sleepover
at the Conti twins' house tonight.
34
00:01:32,377 --> 00:01:33,896
Susie: Who are the Conti twins?
35
00:01:33,897 --> 00:01:35,400
Chris: Danny and Joshy Conti.
36
00:01:35,401 --> 00:01:37,704
They were the most popular
kids in my elementary school.
37
00:01:37,705 --> 00:01:39,743
Their sleepovers were legendary.
38
00:01:39,744 --> 00:01:42,550
I mean, only the coolest
kids in town were invited.
39
00:01:42,551 --> 00:01:43,848
Oh, my God.
40
00:01:43,849 --> 00:01:46,378
After all these years,
I've finally made the cut.
41
00:01:46,379 --> 00:01:47,534
Brett: Can we go?
42
00:01:47,535 --> 00:01:49,305
Chris: [ Laughs ]
43
00:01:49,306 --> 00:01:52,153
Oh, come on. You mooks couldn't
get into a Conti twins sleepover
44
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if you had solid-gold pajamas,
45
00:01:54,003 --> 00:01:57,531
which, rumor has it,
the Conti twins have.
46
00:01:58,191 --> 00:02:00,836
Enjoy sleeping in your own homes tonight.
47
00:02:00,837 --> 00:02:02,224
[ Chuckles ]
48
00:02:07,106 --> 00:02:09,574
Both: Welcome, Chris.
49
00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:10,939
Chris: Hi.
50
00:02:26,433 --> 00:02:29,279
Hey, guys, what's it like being twins?
51
00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:31,466
Well, it's a very special bond.
52
00:02:31,467 --> 00:02:34,056
Sometimes we even finish...
53
00:02:34,247 --> 00:02:35,767
Each other's sentences...
54
00:02:35,768 --> 00:02:36,981
...Chris.
55
00:02:38,394 --> 00:02:39,530
Chris: Wow.
56
00:02:39,531 --> 00:02:40,873
That's pretty amazing.
57
00:02:40,874 --> 00:02:42,449
Do you want to see what else...
58
00:02:42,450 --> 00:02:43,706
...Twins can do?
59
00:02:43,707 --> 00:02:45,328
It's time for...
60
00:02:45,329 --> 00:02:46,622
...The ceremony...
61
00:02:46,623 --> 00:02:47,903
...Chris.
62
00:02:47,904 --> 00:02:49,061
Chris: Oh, well.
63
00:02:49,062 --> 00:02:52,510
I like the sound of that. [ Laughs ]
64
00:02:52,782 --> 00:02:54,249
What's the ceremony?
65
00:02:57,519 --> 00:03:01,622
[ All moaning ]
66
00:03:01,623 --> 00:03:02,968
Okay. Um...
67
00:03:02,969 --> 00:03:07,074
[ Moaning continues ]
68
00:03:08,031 --> 00:03:10,687
And now the grand finale.
69
00:03:10,688 --> 00:03:11,739
Chris: [ Screams ]
70
00:03:11,740 --> 00:03:14,927
Both: Bring out the pancakes!
71
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:17,439
Chris: [ Screaming ]
72
00:03:19,201 --> 00:03:22,087
[ Distorted voices ]
73
00:03:27,292 --> 00:03:29,745
[ Sobbing ]
74
00:03:31,668 --> 00:03:34,557
Brett: Hey. How was the big
sleepover, buddy?
75
00:03:34,608 --> 00:03:35,574
Chris: Huh?
76
00:03:35,575 --> 00:03:38,254
Brett: How was the, uh, big sleepover?
77
00:03:38,255 --> 00:03:40,015
Chris: Why are you riding me about this?
78
00:03:40,016 --> 00:03:41,576
Nothing unusual happened, okay?!
79
00:03:41,577 --> 00:03:44,487
We just did...Sleepover
stuff, all right?
80
00:03:45,780 --> 00:03:47,814
[ Gagging ]
81
00:03:47,815 --> 00:03:49,684
Oh! Oh!
82
00:03:50,934 --> 00:03:52,014
[ Retching ]
83
00:03:52,015 --> 00:03:53,810
[ Water splashing ]
84
00:03:53,811 --> 00:03:55,264
[ Screams ]
85
00:03:55,265 --> 00:03:57,495
[ Toilet flushes ]
86
00:03:59,220 --> 00:04:00,714
Just normal fun.
87
00:04:01,234 --> 00:04:02,159
Brett: Cool.
88
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:06,873
[ Screeeeeeeech! ]
89
00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:16,601
Chris: What am I doing?!
90
00:04:16,731 --> 00:04:18,009
[ Grunts ]
91
00:04:18,010 --> 00:04:20,516
Why can't I stop myself?
92
00:04:26,075 --> 00:04:28,074
Marshal Monsanto! Wow!
93
00:04:28,075 --> 00:04:30,866
What is a true American
hero doing in my office?
94
00:04:32,168 --> 00:04:33,556
What is this?
95
00:04:33,949 --> 00:04:36,135
Why are you dumping cocaine on my desk?
96
00:04:36,136 --> 00:04:37,148
Chris: Please don't hate me.
97
00:04:37,149 --> 00:04:39,355
I swear to God, I have no
idea why I'm doing this?
98
00:04:39,356 --> 00:04:40,903
- Susie: Freeze!
- Brett: We got two anonymous,
99
00:04:40,904 --> 00:04:45,572
simultaneous tips that somebody in this
office was holding a huge stash of cocaine.
100
00:04:45,573 --> 00:04:47,887
Susie: Looks like we caught
our man white-handed.
101
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:48,700
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
102
00:04:48,701 --> 00:04:49,543
This isn't mine.
103
00:04:49,544 --> 00:04:50,385
I've been set up.
104
00:04:50,386 --> 00:04:54,963
Brett: You shouldn't tell lies,
Wilcox, especially white lies.
105
00:04:54,964 --> 00:04:55,919
[ Grunts ]
106
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:59,045
- Susie: Another great collar, Chris.
- Brett: Yeah, white collar.
107
00:04:59,046 --> 00:05:00,699
Susie: How did you get here so fast?
108
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:04,025
Chris: I guess I have some
sort of special...power? I...
109
00:05:04,026 --> 00:05:07,712
- Brett: Yeah, white power.
- Susie: Stop talking.
110
00:05:08,077 --> 00:05:08,805
[ TV turns on ]
111
00:05:08,806 --> 00:05:13,793
As twin governors, we'll work twice as
hard to improve our schools, create jobs...
112
00:05:13,794 --> 00:05:15,489
...And balance the state budget.
113
00:05:15,490 --> 00:05:17,490
So why settle for one governor...
114
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:20,355
...When you can have
two weird governors?
115
00:05:20,356 --> 00:05:23,159
Vote Conti twins for governors.
116
00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:26,149
Chris: Governors?
117
00:05:29,305 --> 00:05:30,323
Welcome back...
118
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...Brother.
119
00:05:31,189 --> 00:05:32,793
Chris: What the hell is going on here?
120
00:05:32,794 --> 00:05:33,867
Ever since you took...
121
00:05:33,868 --> 00:05:37,147
...Part in the ceremony, we control you.
122
00:05:37,148 --> 00:05:39,632
Chris: W-wait, is that why
you guys invited me over?
123
00:05:39,633 --> 00:05:40,898
Yes.
124
00:05:40,899 --> 00:05:43,201
Chris: You mean you
don't think I'm cool?
125
00:05:43,202 --> 00:05:44,305
Both: No.
126
00:05:44,306 --> 00:05:46,700
Councilman Wilcox was
just the beginning.
127
00:05:46,701 --> 00:05:48,201
You're going to eliminate...
128
00:05:48,202 --> 00:05:51,243
...Each and every gubernatorial
candidate until Danny...
129
00:05:51,244 --> 00:05:55,289
Chris: [ As Conti twin ]...And you waltz
into the governor's office completely...
130
00:05:55,290 --> 00:05:57,037
...Unopposed.
131
00:05:57,837 --> 00:05:58,704
[ Zap! Zap! ]
132
00:05:58,705 --> 00:06:02,906
[ Screeeeeeeech! ]
133
00:06:04,413 --> 00:06:06,050
[ Door creaks ]
134
00:06:06,912 --> 00:06:10,851
[ Screeeeeeeech! ]
135
00:06:16,795 --> 00:06:17,988
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
136
00:06:20,499 --> 00:06:22,405
- Hey, perp!
- [ Camera shutter clicks ]
137
00:06:28,228 --> 00:06:29,525
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
138
00:06:31,761 --> 00:06:34,551
Chris: I've ruined another
innocent man's life.
139
00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:36,584
What is happening to me?
140
00:06:36,585 --> 00:06:39,207
It's like I'm out of control.
141
00:06:39,741 --> 00:06:41,319
[ Voice breaking ] I... I...
142
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:42,489
[ Gasps ]
143
00:06:45,227 --> 00:06:49,804
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm surrounded by danger!
144
00:06:49,805 --> 00:06:50,623
Stress.
145
00:06:50,624 --> 00:06:51,649
Poor diet.
146
00:06:51,650 --> 00:06:52,729
Toxins.
147
00:06:52,730 --> 00:06:53,741
And others.
148
00:06:53,742 --> 00:06:55,147
Enough!
149
00:06:56,093 --> 00:06:58,445
Here's acai in your eye!
150
00:06:58,446 --> 00:07:01,637
[ Grunting ]
151
00:07:03,353 --> 00:07:05,320
Nutricai!
152
00:07:05,321 --> 00:07:06,321
[ Laughs ]
153
00:07:06,322 --> 00:07:07,512
Thank you. Thank you.
154
00:07:07,513 --> 00:07:13,106
Folks, I've just demonstrated
the antioxidant power of Nutricai.
155
00:07:13,107 --> 00:07:17,641
And now I invite you to become
part of the amazing Nutricai
156
00:07:17,642 --> 00:07:22,201
multi-level marketing system and
finally have the financial freedom
157
00:07:22,202 --> 00:07:24,777
to take control of your life!
158
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,217
Now who's interested?
159
00:07:26,218 --> 00:07:27,090
Chris: Me!
160
00:07:27,091 --> 00:07:28,465
Yes, you, sir!
161
00:07:28,466 --> 00:07:29,938
[ Chuckles ]
162
00:07:30,209 --> 00:07:32,076
He's taking control...
163
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:33,277
...Of his life.
164
00:07:33,278 --> 00:07:35,252
He must be...Eliminated.
165
00:07:35,253 --> 00:07:36,650
...Stopped.
166
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:43,859
Stress, aggravation, toxins
in our air, water, and food.
167
00:07:43,860 --> 00:07:46,343
Now you can fight back with Nutricai.
168
00:07:46,344 --> 00:07:48,397
Nutricai isn't just a berry drink.
169
00:07:48,398 --> 00:07:49,718
It's a way of life.
170
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,750
Visit your local Nutricai representative
171
00:07:51,751 --> 00:07:55,325
and start feeling better
today and forever.
172
00:07:58,502 --> 00:07:59,841
Ladies, if you would.
173
00:07:59,842 --> 00:08:04,740
Say hello to the PX-400
industrial juice press!
174
00:08:04,741 --> 00:08:08,734
Ladies and gentlemen, this
is the future of Nutricai!
175
00:08:08,735 --> 00:08:09,781
[ Applause ]
176
00:08:09,782 --> 00:08:11,341
Thank you. Thank you.
177
00:08:11,342 --> 00:08:15,206
Please welcome this month's
top-selling Nutricai sales rep,
178
00:08:15,207 --> 00:08:17,425
marshal Chris Monsanto!
179
00:08:17,426 --> 00:08:20,804
[ Cheers and applause ]
180
00:08:20,883 --> 00:08:24,196
Chris: Oh, you know,
folks, two weeks ago,
181
00:08:24,197 --> 00:08:27,196
I didn't know an acai
berry from my left nut.
182
00:08:27,197 --> 00:08:29,543
[ Laughter ]
183
00:08:29,544 --> 00:08:31,386
But, seriously... [ Clears throat ]
184
00:08:31,387 --> 00:08:36,703
...Uh, two weeks ago, I didn't know
an acai berry from my left nut.
185
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,448
And then I had...
186
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,337
[ Gun cocks ]
187
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:45,532
Wow!
188
00:08:45,533 --> 00:08:48,172
You made that much money
selling some fruit drink?
189
00:08:48,173 --> 00:08:50,419
It's not just another fruit drink.
190
00:08:50,420 --> 00:08:54,137
It's Nutricai, packed with
amazing antioxidant power...
191
00:08:54,138 --> 00:08:59,459
- [ Gunshot ]
- [ People screaming ]
192
00:09:09,892 --> 00:09:11,845
[ Machinery whirring ]
193
00:09:11,846 --> 00:09:14,552
[ Squishing ]
194
00:09:16,979 --> 00:09:19,059
Chris: Well, folks, uh,
looks like the Conti twins
195
00:09:19,060 --> 00:09:21,875
have switched from
doublemint to juicy fruit.
196
00:09:21,876 --> 00:09:23,060
[ Laughs ]
197
00:09:23,061 --> 00:09:25,792
[ Laughter and applause ]
198
00:09:25,793 --> 00:09:27,057
Susie: Congratulations, Chris.
199
00:09:27,058 --> 00:09:29,966
- You killed the Conti twins.
- Chris: Wrong again, Susie.
200
00:09:34,604 --> 00:09:38,042
[ Crowd gasps, murmurs ]
201
00:09:41,065 --> 00:09:42,547
Brett: [Bleep]
202
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,291
Chief: Where'd the other Conti go?
203
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,268
Chris: But, chief, this is both Contis.
204
00:09:46,269 --> 00:09:47,589
Chief: Both Contis?
205
00:09:47,590 --> 00:09:49,900
Chris: You see, chief,
the Contis, like all twins,
206
00:09:49,901 --> 00:09:52,828
were inherently evil because
they were each only half a person.
207
00:09:52,829 --> 00:09:55,014
But by smooshing Danny
and Joshy together,
208
00:09:55,015 --> 00:09:58,608
I turned two half-scumbags into
one complete, decent human being...
209
00:09:58,609 --> 00:10:01,324
Who may or may not have
severe mental problems.
210
00:10:01,325 --> 00:10:03,955
Chief: Well, someday, hopefully,
211
00:10:03,956 --> 00:10:08,514
science will allow us to
live in a world without twins.
212
00:10:08,515 --> 00:10:10,016
[ Applause ]
213
00:10:10,017 --> 00:10:11,494
Chris: We'll get there, chief.
214
00:10:11,530 --> 00:10:12,845
We'll get there.
215
00:10:13,253 --> 00:10:14,661
Thank you, Chris.
216
00:10:14,662 --> 00:10:16,716
You've finally made me whole.
217
00:10:17,403 --> 00:10:20,482
Chris: Hold on there.
You're not whole quite yet.
218
00:10:21,498 --> 00:10:23,794
Chris, I can't thank you
enough for introducing me
219
00:10:23,795 --> 00:10:27,353
to the amazing antioxidant
powers of Nutricai.
220
00:10:28,967 --> 00:10:30,096
Chris: [ Slurps ]
221
00:10:30,128 --> 00:10:32,739
And I can't thank you enough, Danjoshy,
222
00:10:32,740 --> 00:10:36,969
for allowing me to endorse
your candidacy for governor.
223
00:10:38,892 --> 00:10:41,171
[ Somber piano music plays ]
224
00:10:41,172 --> 00:10:43,784
[ Gunshot, people screaming ]
225
00:10:43,785 --> 00:10:49,155
Synch by Benfo.
www.addic7ed.com
226
00:10:49,205 --> 00:10:53,755
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
16419
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