Original subtitles

- Papers. - Sí.

- What's the reason for your trip? - They are traveling entertainers.

How many with you?

Four big, four small.

You can go through.

Gracias.

[ Engine revs ]

Chief: It was an impressive massacre.

Over 200 shots fired.

Chris: Looks like someone really hates school buses.

- Brett: Or really loves tiny holes. - Chris: Okay, uh, Brett.

Remember when I duct-taped your mouth shut

- the other day? - Brett: Yeah.

Chief: And it appears they got away with whatever they were after...

- Except... - Chris: Ah, here we go.

Chief: [ Blows ] This.

Susie: A tiny bow tie?

Really?

- What about bullet casings? - Chris: How about sausage casings?

Throw in some lemonade, and we got ourselves a street fair.

[ Scoffs ] Stupid.

Susie: Or why don't we analyze the tire tracks at the crime scene?

We could trace the vehicle back to its owner.

Chris: [ Sighs ] Okay, Susie.

Why don't you and your brainiac friends go nerd out in the crime lab?

This is the kind of lead Chris Monsanto knows how to follow.

Brett...

- Susan... sweetheart? - Susie: [ Scoffs ] Fine.

Chris: Ah, it's always nice when you come along.

Susie: Thank you.

Then you take the handy-dandy green-and-yellow kerchief,

wrap it around your hand, and presto!

- [ Gasps ] - Why so blue, Mr. Kerchief?

[ Laughs ]

[ Bell dings ]

Chris: Well, well, well.

- Cyrus Barnaby. - Afternoon, marshal.

Stopping by for a quick tutorial of the linking rings?

Chris: What do you know about this?

- I don't know anything. - Chris: Okay.

For somebody who tricks people for a living, you're not a very good liar.

Devin, call the police.

Brett: You should stick to peddling fake dog [bleep]

instead of real bull [bleep] Barnaby!

All right!

Follow me.

Yes, a kid came in and sold this to me last week.

But it was worthless, non-functional... Had no "hand hole."

Turns out a Mexican cartel used it to smuggle cocaine into the country.

Brett: How'd they get the drugs inside without a hand hole?

Is there a drug hole?

No, but...

Take the handy-dandy arm,

and then you dip it into the handy-dandy basin...

[ Fizzling ]

And presto.

Chris: Handy-dandy nostril candy.

The dummy is drugs.

It's a high-impact, pressure-molded cocaine.

And there's been a whole wave of fake dummies crossing the border.

Susie: So, our bloodbath was a drug deal gone bad.

- Chris: I want a name. - Dominic Saldívar.

He owns the factory that makes these in Guadalajara.

Chris: Well, kids, you know what this means?

Susie: We're gonna report this to the D.E.A.?

Chris: Not quite.

We're going down to Mexico to find this Saldívar fellow and make him D.E.A...

D.

[ Mariachi music plays ]

Brett: Guys, let me ask you something.

Do you think it was a good or a bad idea for me

to trade my gun in for this churro?

Chris: [ Sighs ] Brett, your mouth is moving again

and there are noises coming out of it.

Brett: Just bit my tongue.

Chris: Hey, shh. Quiet. Hey, guys, come here.

Take a look at this.

All right, think we found our source.

It's time to go undercover.

Welcome, my friends.

I am Dominic Saldívar.

You have traveled a long way to get here.

Brett: He's onto us. Let's bail.

Chris: [ Clears throat ] Uh, my associate speaks very highly of your product.

Brett: Your drug product, he means...

Cocaine, reverse-sneezing dust.

We're here to take a lot of it off your hands.

Let me show you what we do here.

My process changed the entire industry.

The U.S. can't even begin to combat us.

Help!

- Susie: Chris! - Chris: What?

And this is what makes it all possible...

"La máquina"...

Roughly translated, "the machine."

It can pressure-mold cocaine into any shape...

Not only dummies but books, trophies, sporting equipment...

Dreidels.

You name it.

[ Fizzling ]

Susie: That's amazing.

Brett: Can you make a cocaine version of my shoe?

Sure.

Brett: How about my other shoe?

Yes.

Brett: How about my marshal's badge?

Marshals?

This is a trap!

Chris: Oh, boy, here we go. Okay.

Es un emboscada!

Brett: Damn it. I had more shoe-related questions.

Chris: All right, look, uh, I'm gonna pump some Mexican killing beans into that guy.

I'll meet you guys somewhere near the front, okay?

[ Gunshots in distance ]

Hi.

Chris: Well, hello, there, little lady.

I'm Rosa.

Chris: I'm Chris Monsanto, U.S. marshal.

Saldívar is my ex-husband.

He is a very jealous man, and he will not let me leave,

even though I do not feel for him.

Chris: I get it.

Save you from the big bad wolf, huh?

Okay, honey. Come on.

I'll take you with me.

Uh, Susie, Brett, I'd like you to meet...

- Honey, what's your name again? - Rosa.

Rosa. Isn't that beautiful?

Oh, watch it.

Okay, come on.

Susie: At this rate, we should be at the border by 2:00 A.M.

Then we can get a motel and get some sleep.

Thank you, Chris.

I don't know how I will ever be able to repay you.

Chris: Well, you can start by paying for half the motel room.

Then we'll figure out things as we go along.

[ Chuckles ] You're silly.

Brett: What state is Mexico in?

Chris: All right, Brett, I want you to shut up.

Brett: What?

Chris: This is what a luxury American hotel looks like.

It's very... accommodating.

- Chris: Heck, look. - [ Gasps ]

Chris: They even put chocolates on the pillows here.

Isn't that something?

[ Chuckles softly ]

Anyhoo, uh, when we get back into town,

I'm gonna help you get started with your new life.

[ Knock on door ]

Brett, I told you, you can't come in and watch me sleep.

We're here for the merchandise.

Chris: Oh, sorry. You got the wrong room.

The merchandise.

This is the last time we'll ask nicely.

Chris: Honey, do you know anything about merchandise?

Rosa.

- Rosa? - [ Door closes ]

Rosa! Rosa! [ Knock on door ]

I'm sorry, Chris!

Chris: Rosa, open up! Come on!

We share the bathroom.

That's part of the deal. Come on, let...

[ Fizzling ]

You're the merchandise.

- You're cocaine. - I'm so sorry, Chris.

You were set up to smuggle me across the border.

Chris: No.

No.

Flush me, Chris. Don't let them get me. Promise me you will flush me!

[ Pounding on door ]

Sorry, Chris.

I had no choice.

Chris: Oh.

[ Fizzling continues ]

[ Toilet flushes ]

Presto...

Change-o.

Chris: There's something I have to do.

[ Gun cocks ]

Good work today, guys. See you tomorrow!

Chris: Hey, Saldívar.

Well, well.

Look who it is.

Chris Monsanto.

Where's your snort-up doll?

[ Laughs ]

Chris: Chew on some death.

Adiós, amigo.

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Rain falling ]

[ Fizzling ]

Chris: You shouldn't have given me a guided tour, Saldívar.

I picked myself up a factory reject.

[ Bones crack ]

Mmm. That's some primo me.

Pure, uncut vengeance.

[ Door hinges creak ]

[ Mariachi music plays ]

Synch by Benfo. www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0