Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,318 --> 00:00:04,836
_
2
00:00:05,476 --> 00:00:09,686
_
3
00:00:10,049 --> 00:00:13,248
[Allan] Jean Lafitte, he was
just a really badass pirate.
4
00:00:13,249 --> 00:00:16,248
Stabbing in weird, fun new ways.
5
00:00:16,249 --> 00:00:18,248
[bleep] pirates are [bleep]
good at fighting and stuff,
6
00:00:18,249 --> 00:00:20,248
is my [bleep] point, man.
7
00:00:20,249 --> 00:00:22,248
Sam the Banana Man,
8
00:00:22,249 --> 00:00:25,248
he is Al Pacino, Scarface style,
9
00:00:25,249 --> 00:00:28,248
but instead of cocaine, bananas.
[laughing]
10
00:00:28,349 --> 00:00:31,074
Louis Armstrong was born in the brothels
11
00:00:31,106 --> 00:00:32,689
where all the jazz music was playing.
12
00:00:32,714 --> 00:00:35,248
He was like,
"I wanna play that music."
13
00:00:35,249 --> 00:00:36,248
You're drunk.
14
00:00:36,249 --> 00:00:38,248
- I'm drunk!
- Ah!
15
00:00:38,249 --> 00:00:41,248
[patriotic music]
16
00:00:45,252 --> 00:00:49,490
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
17
00:00:51,449 --> 00:00:53,569
[man] We live in the color
portion of The Wizard of Oz,
18
00:00:53,570 --> 00:00:55,650
and everybody else is in
the black-and-white section.
19
00:00:55,675 --> 00:00:58,554
It's all Technicolor here.
20
00:00:59,449 --> 00:01:01,049
[woman] New Orleans
is so [bleep] American
21
00:01:01,074 --> 00:01:02,448
compared to everywhere else.
22
00:01:02,449 --> 00:01:03,448
You can't do the [bleep]
that you do in New Orleans
23
00:01:03,449 --> 00:01:06,448
everywhere else in the United States.
You can't do it.
24
00:01:06,449 --> 00:01:08,448
[man] Our entire
history's drunk history.
25
00:01:08,449 --> 00:01:11,949
We have a street right
here named after booze.
26
00:01:15,449 --> 00:01:17,248
Oh, [bleep].
27
00:01:17,449 --> 00:01:19,948
Oh, [bleep].
28
00:01:20,449 --> 00:01:22,348
Oh, [bleep].
29
00:01:22,449 --> 00:01:24,448
Oh, no.
30
00:01:24,449 --> 00:01:26,448
[groans]
[laughs]
31
00:01:26,449 --> 00:01:31,668
Hello. Today we're gonna talk
about the pirate Jean Lafitte.
32
00:01:33,449 --> 00:01:34,448
[laughs]
33
00:01:34,449 --> 00:01:38,175
[Allan] Our story starts
in the early 1800s.
34
00:01:38,449 --> 00:01:40,448
The economy is very bad.
35
00:01:40,449 --> 00:01:43,449
So the smugglers in New
Orleans were these pirates,
36
00:01:44,449 --> 00:01:47,448
and the leader of the
pirates, Jean Lafitte,
37
00:01:47,449 --> 00:01:52,448
was operating a major smuggl...
Ooh, smuggling ring?
38
00:01:52,449 --> 00:01:55,448
So Jean Lafitte was
operating a "majoler"...
39
00:01:55,449 --> 00:02:00,448
Oh, no, no, no.
Okay, okay. [laughs]
40
00:02:00,449 --> 00:02:03,448
He was very smooth and suave.
41
00:02:03,449 --> 00:02:05,448
He was just a really badass pirate.
42
00:02:05,449 --> 00:02:09,448
Governor Claiborne of
Louisiana is not happy about it.
43
00:02:09,449 --> 00:02:13,448
I'm putting a $500 bounty
on Jean Lafitte's head.
44
00:02:13,449 --> 00:02:15,929
Not his head.
I don't want you to bring me his head.
45
00:02:16,449 --> 00:02:19,448
I want you to bring him in alive.
But seriously...
46
00:02:19,449 --> 00:02:22,448
I'll give you $500 if you capture him
and bring him in, okay?
47
00:02:22,449 --> 00:02:26,449
So, at this point, the War of 1812 is...
48
00:02:27,449 --> 00:02:28,448
happening now.
49
00:02:28,449 --> 00:02:32,448
There are British ships just
off the coast of New Orleans.
50
00:02:32,449 --> 00:02:34,448
King George III sends a letter, saying,
51
00:02:34,449 --> 00:02:37,448
"Dear Jean Lafitte, I'm
gonna attack New Orleans.
52
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,448
"I'd love for you to be a part of this.
53
00:02:39,449 --> 00:02:43,448
In exchange, we will make you
a captain of the British Navy."
54
00:02:43,449 --> 00:02:48,093
Lafitte says, I need a little
time to think about this.
55
00:02:49,449 --> 00:02:50,448
When he knows...
56
00:02:50,449 --> 00:02:54,448
I'm not going to fight against America,
because he loves America.
57
00:02:54,449 --> 00:02:59,448
And then Claiborne's men show up
and arrest Jean Lafitte.
58
00:02:59,449 --> 00:03:02,448
We caught you red-handed, Jean Lafitte.
59
00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,489
You're arrested.
We're going to arrest you.
60
00:03:04,490 --> 00:03:05,489
Jean Lafitte surrenders.
61
00:03:05,490 --> 00:03:07,448
He's like, Okay, you got me.
62
00:03:07,449 --> 00:03:09,448
He gets put in jail.
63
00:03:09,449 --> 00:03:12,448
So Jean Lafitte writes a
letter to Andrew Jackson.
64
00:03:12,449 --> 00:03:15,448
He's fighting the [bleep]
out of the British already.
65
00:03:15,449 --> 00:03:17,125
"Dear Andrew Jackson,
66
00:03:17,229 --> 00:03:20,448
"here's all the battle plans
that King of England gave me.
67
00:03:20,449 --> 00:03:23,448
"Maybe you could free me
and pardon me of all my crimes.
68
00:03:23,449 --> 00:03:26,448
Nobody can defend New Orleans
better than we can."
69
00:03:26,449 --> 00:03:28,448
Major General Andrew Jackson is like,
70
00:03:28,449 --> 00:03:33,449
Who is this pirate
writing a letter to me?
71
00:03:34,449 --> 00:03:35,448
Pirates are to be hung.
72
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:38,449
I'm not going to fight
alongside a pirate.
73
00:03:38,749 --> 00:03:42,448
I'm here fighting the South...
I'm fighting... Oh, [bleep].
74
00:03:42,449 --> 00:03:44,448
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm gonna do this right.
75
00:03:44,449 --> 00:03:47,448
I'm not about to help you.
76
00:03:47,449 --> 00:03:51,834
I'm gonna head to New Orleans
and protect it myself.
77
00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:55,448
Andrew Jackson arrives in New Orleans.
78
00:03:55,449 --> 00:03:59,448
He's like, I've been shot.
I have dysentery,
79
00:03:59,449 --> 00:04:02,448
which is the worst category of
diarrhea that you can imagine.
80
00:04:02,449 --> 00:04:05,448
No big deal. I'll [bleep] on
my [bleep] horse all day long.
81
00:04:05,449 --> 00:04:08,649
His horse is like, Huh?
Okay, fine, you [bleep] on me.
82
00:04:08,674 --> 00:04:11,448
I'm an American horse.
[laughs]
83
00:04:11,449 --> 00:04:13,448
You know what I mean?
84
00:04:13,449 --> 00:04:16,448
But don't let my pooping disease
85
00:04:16,449 --> 00:04:20,448
make you think that I'm not
gonna defeat the British,
86
00:04:20,449 --> 00:04:22,448
'cause I [bleep] am.
87
00:04:22,449 --> 00:04:24,448
Andrew Jackson takes
a look at everybody.
88
00:04:24,449 --> 00:04:26,448
He's like,
There's really not any fighters here.
89
00:04:26,449 --> 00:04:28,449
What do we got, some nuns?
90
00:04:29,149 --> 00:04:33,448
And we got a couple of
business guys over here?
91
00:04:33,449 --> 00:04:36,229
I don't even know what to do here.
92
00:04:36,449 --> 00:04:39,448
And they're like, Hey,
Major-General Andrew Jackson,
93
00:04:39,449 --> 00:04:43,448
there is that pirate Jean Lafitte
that's, like, interested in helping you.
94
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:49,448
Oh, yeah, well, okay.
Yeah, here we go, yeah.
95
00:04:49,449 --> 00:04:51,448
All right, [bleep] it.
I'll talk to him.
96
00:04:51,449 --> 00:04:54,489
Jean Lafitte finally gets his chance
to talk to Andrew Jackson.
97
00:04:54,514 --> 00:04:57,114
He says, Listen, I've sent
you the letters, buddy.
98
00:04:57,405 --> 00:04:59,448
I'm telling you, I got the goods.
99
00:04:59,449 --> 00:05:01,448
I got the ammunition,
I got the weapons,
100
00:05:01,449 --> 00:05:03,448
I got the men.
101
00:05:03,449 --> 00:05:07,448
You need me, and you're not
admitting it to yourself.
102
00:05:07,449 --> 00:05:11,448
And Andrew Jackson's like...
[deep breath]
103
00:05:11,449 --> 00:05:13,448
[whispering] I do need help
from pirates.
104
00:05:13,449 --> 00:05:15,448
I'm [bleep] [bleep] up.
105
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:18,149
I've got diarrhea.
I don't want everybody to know
106
00:05:18,182 --> 00:05:20,448
that I'm asking for a
pirate's help right now,
107
00:05:20,449 --> 00:05:22,448
but, please, join me.
108
00:05:22,449 --> 00:05:27,448
[whispering] Okay, it's
our little secret. Wink.
109
00:05:27,449 --> 00:05:32,448
And Andrew Jackson said...
You're my guy. Let's party.
110
00:05:32,449 --> 00:05:35,448
So there were 4,000 Americans
versus, like, 10,000 British.
111
00:05:35,449 --> 00:05:39,448
And yet, the British were not
prepared for Andrew Jackson
112
00:05:39,449 --> 00:05:43,448
and Jean Lafitte. And they
just started wailing on them.
113
00:05:43,449 --> 00:05:48,449
The pirates are amazing fighters.
They're doing stuff like,
114
00:05:48,474 --> 00:05:53,448
shoot 'em from different weird angles,
coming out of surprise traps,
115
00:05:53,449 --> 00:05:56,448
stabbing in weird, fun, new ways.
116
00:05:56,449 --> 00:05:59,948
And at one point, the British
military commander says
117
00:05:59,949 --> 00:06:03,448
to Andrew Jackson,
Hey, you guys are being very rude.
118
00:06:03,449 --> 00:06:09,448
And Andrew Jackson says,
we're trying to get you out of America.
119
00:06:09,449 --> 00:06:14,448
We're not playing by your little rules.
120
00:06:14,449 --> 00:06:17,448
Arrow, arrow, arrow, arrow, arrow.
121
00:06:17,449 --> 00:06:20,448
You know?
[laughing]
122
00:06:20,449 --> 00:06:24,448
Yeah, not an arrow.
Probably with a gun, a "masket."
123
00:06:24,449 --> 00:06:26,182
[laughing]
124
00:06:26,449 --> 00:06:29,448
Muske... [hiccups]
Ooh, God.
125
00:06:29,449 --> 00:06:31,448
They won the Battle of New Orleans.
126
00:06:31,449 --> 00:06:34,448
And Andrew Jackson's
looking at the area,
127
00:06:34,449 --> 00:06:39,098
and he's seeing all these
dead Redcoats, just like, Whew.
128
00:06:39,359 --> 00:06:43,448
We really did a number on these guys.
We really...
129
00:06:43,449 --> 00:06:45,448
these guys...
130
00:06:45,449 --> 00:06:49,449
you know, we really killed
a lot of them. [laughs]
131
00:06:49,949 --> 00:06:51,569
And Andrew Jackson's like...
132
00:06:51,594 --> 00:06:54,448
Hey, everyone, I had
diarrhea, but we did it.
133
00:06:54,449 --> 00:06:56,448
We won, because you fought so hard,
134
00:06:56,449 --> 00:06:58,448
and you were so awesome out there.
135
00:06:58,449 --> 00:07:02,448
And so don't even worry
about all your crimes.
136
00:07:02,449 --> 00:07:04,137
I'm gonna pardon you.
137
00:07:04,449 --> 00:07:07,448
Lafitte says...
Thank you, Andrew Jackson.
138
00:07:07,449 --> 00:07:10,948
All I wanted to do was to
show everybody that pirates
139
00:07:10,949 --> 00:07:14,448
are all right and that
we can be true Americans.
140
00:07:14,449 --> 00:07:16,961
Go be a pirate elsewhere.
Come on, get out of here.
141
00:07:16,962 --> 00:07:20,448
Get out of New Orleans, guys.
You crazy kids.
142
00:07:20,449 --> 00:07:25,451
But... But... But... But...
But, um...
143
00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:27,448
[Allan] God damn it, I
felt like this [bleep]...
144
00:07:27,449 --> 00:07:30,448
The [bleep] point is that
145
00:07:30,449 --> 00:07:33,448
[bleep] pirates are [bleep]
good at fighting and stuff,
146
00:07:33,449 --> 00:07:37,135
is my [bleep] point, man.
147
00:07:37,349 --> 00:07:42,448
Stay tuned
for new "Drunken History"
148
00:07:42,449 --> 00:07:45,448
from [bleep] pirates, New Orleans.
149
00:07:45,449 --> 00:07:48,212
- Is there whiskey in that?
- Yeah.
150
00:07:48,449 --> 00:07:50,435
Ha ha. I'll have that.
151
00:07:53,825 --> 00:07:56,424
[man] In New Orleans, we
enjoy eating down here,
152
00:07:56,425 --> 00:07:59,424
whether it's red beans
and rice, po'boys, shrimp.
153
00:07:59,425 --> 00:08:01,424
I can be as fat as I want down here.
154
00:08:01,425 --> 00:08:03,424
Nobody gives a [bleep]
down here about that.
155
00:08:03,425 --> 00:08:04,424
We just eat.
156
00:08:04,425 --> 00:08:06,585
[Gloria] There's nothing like
gin and tonic and bananas.
157
00:08:06,610 --> 00:08:09,424
- [Derek] That is a good combo.
- This is like chocolate and peanut butter.
158
00:08:09,425 --> 00:08:12,424
You know what?
Is this a thing?
159
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:14,424
- Could be.
- Not as good.
160
00:08:14,425 --> 00:08:17,424
No.
Not as good. [laughs]
161
00:08:17,425 --> 00:08:20,425
Look at this. Lime, get...
I hate you.
162
00:08:21,425 --> 00:08:23,425
Hey, you guys.
[laughs] Oh, boy.
163
00:08:24,425 --> 00:08:25,545
I'm Gloria Calderon Kellett.
164
00:08:25,570 --> 00:08:27,424
Or Glor... I should do it again.
165
00:08:27,425 --> 00:08:30,424
- No, just keep going.
- I'm Gloria Calder�n Kellett.
166
00:08:30,425 --> 00:08:32,424
Never been more Latina.
167
00:08:32,425 --> 00:08:38,424
And I'm gonna tell you about
Sam "the Banana Man" Zemurray.
168
00:08:38,425 --> 00:08:41,424
So it's 1891.
Sam Zemurray's 14 years old.
169
00:08:41,425 --> 00:08:45,424
He's a Russian Jew, very poor.
Has no formal education.
170
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:48,424
And he steps off the
boat with his parents,
171
00:08:48,425 --> 00:08:51,424
and he's like, Yeah, America.
172
00:08:51,425 --> 00:08:54,424
Let's make this happen,
American style.
173
00:08:54,425 --> 00:08:57,424
And one day, there's,
like, a traveling salesman
174
00:08:57,425 --> 00:09:00,636
peddling exotic wares.
And he's like...
175
00:09:00,709 --> 00:09:04,424
Excuse me, sir, what is
this penis-looking thing?
176
00:09:04,425 --> 00:09:08,424
And the peddler says...
Oh, that is a banana.
177
00:09:08,425 --> 00:09:11,424
And Sam's like...
What is it?
178
00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:14,424
- Oh, it is a fruit.
- He's like, What?
179
00:09:14,425 --> 00:09:17,424
And he tries this banana,
and it's delicious.
180
00:09:17,425 --> 00:09:21,424
And he's like, I want...
I want everyone in the world
181
00:09:21,425 --> 00:09:24,424
to taste what's in my mouth right now.
182
00:09:24,425 --> 00:09:27,424
- Oh, you dropped your...
- Oh, my banana dropped! [laughs]
183
00:09:27,425 --> 00:09:29,424
So he goes to where the
banana boats come in.
184
00:09:29,425 --> 00:09:33,424
They sort, like, about to
be ripe, ripe, over-ripe.
185
00:09:33,425 --> 00:09:35,265
All the ripe bananas are
thrown into the ocean.
186
00:09:35,425 --> 00:09:36,985
And he goes up to them, and he's like...
187
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:40,424
You guys, what are you doing?
These are delicious ripe bananas.
188
00:09:40,425 --> 00:09:43,424
And they're like, Oh, man, this...
we'd love to not throw them away,
189
00:09:43,425 --> 00:09:45,424
'cause you're right, they are delicious.
190
00:09:45,425 --> 00:09:49,424
However, by the time they
get to where they're going,
191
00:09:49,425 --> 00:09:52,424
they're gonna be rotten.
It's super sad.
192
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:53,424
- Aw.
- Yeah.
193
00:09:53,425 --> 00:09:57,424
So he gets this idea.
Why don't I buy those ripes off of you?
194
00:09:57,425 --> 00:09:58,505
And they're like, All right.
195
00:09:58,530 --> 00:10:04,424
And then he rents a boxcar
on the Illinois Central train,
196
00:10:04,425 --> 00:10:06,424
and then at every stop,
he's like, What is up?
197
00:10:06,425 --> 00:10:07,585
And all the grocers are like,
198
00:10:07,610 --> 00:10:10,424
We're here, and we want
to buy your bananas, sir.
199
00:10:10,425 --> 00:10:13,900
He's like, I have nothing but
awesome bananas to sell you,
200
00:10:13,933 --> 00:10:17,424
right here from my... zoop...
from my boxcar.
201
00:10:17,425 --> 00:10:18,424
Some people don't know
what the hell they are.
202
00:10:18,425 --> 00:10:20,424
Ooh, that looks a little bit weird.
203
00:10:20,425 --> 00:10:24,424
And they try it, and they're like,
Holy [bleep]. This is bananas.
204
00:10:24,425 --> 00:10:27,424
He's like, Exactly.
You're welcome.
205
00:10:27,425 --> 00:10:29,825
He's selling bananas left and right.
Left and right, bananas.
206
00:10:29,826 --> 00:10:32,425
And that first trip, he makes 40 bucks,
207
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:35,424
which is so much money at that time.
208
00:10:35,425 --> 00:10:38,425
That's amazing, how bananas were so...
209
00:10:41,425 --> 00:10:44,424
Forgot the word I wanted to use.
[laughs] Anyway...
210
00:10:44,425 --> 00:10:47,425
So he does this again
and again and again.
211
00:10:48,425 --> 00:10:50,424
And by the time he's 21 years old,
212
00:10:50,425 --> 00:10:53,424
Sam, who's now known
as Sam the Banana Man,
213
00:10:53,425 --> 00:10:57,424
has made $100,000.
Is that enough for Sammy Z?
214
00:10:57,425 --> 00:11:00,424
It is not.
He wants more, Derek.
215
00:11:00,425 --> 00:11:01,424
So it dawns on him...
216
00:11:01,425 --> 00:11:05,424
Wait a minute. I could
just do this all myself.
217
00:11:05,425 --> 00:11:06,425
I'm gonna go to Honduras.
218
00:11:06,450 --> 00:11:10,424
And in 1910, he's, like,
along the Cuyamel River,
219
00:11:10,425 --> 00:11:12,665
and he's like, I'm gonna start
the Cuyamel Fruit Company.
220
00:11:12,690 --> 00:11:16,424
I'm gonna buy a ton of
land, buy some ships,
221
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:18,424
and I'm gonna plant bananas
222
00:11:18,425 --> 00:11:21,425
and I'm gonna, like,
build a railroad line,
223
00:11:21,725 --> 00:11:23,424
and I'm gonna get... like,
talk to the authorities
224
00:11:23,425 --> 00:11:26,424
and be like, Hey, authorities,
is it cool if you totally
225
00:11:26,425 --> 00:11:28,424
- don't tax me a lot?
- Okay.
226
00:11:28,425 --> 00:11:29,465
And it's gonna be amazing.
227
00:11:29,490 --> 00:11:32,424
So he is controlling his own supply.
228
00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:35,424
He's getting his tax breaks.
Everything is awesome.
229
00:11:35,425 --> 00:11:36,424
He's, like, the richest
guy in New Orleans.
230
00:11:36,425 --> 00:11:37,545
He can do anything he wants.
231
00:11:37,570 --> 00:11:40,570
He is Al Pacino, Scarface style,
232
00:11:41,425 --> 00:11:45,758
but instead of, like, cocaine,
bananas. [laughing]
233
00:11:46,425 --> 00:11:50,424
But then someone's like, Knock-knock,
sorry to bust in on your big party.
234
00:11:50,425 --> 00:11:52,924
But, hey, know that
place Honduras that's
235
00:11:52,925 --> 00:11:55,424
making you all this money?
There's a problem.
236
00:11:55,425 --> 00:12:00,024
- And he's like, What?
- They owe the British a lot of money.
237
00:12:00,425 --> 00:12:03,424
They're taxing everything,
including your bananas.
238
00:12:03,425 --> 00:12:06,424
Sam's like, Uh-oh, what do I do?
What do I do?
239
00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:08,424
Hold on, hold on.
What?
240
00:12:08,425 --> 00:12:13,424
The former exiled president of
Honduras lives in New Orleans?
241
00:12:13,425 --> 00:12:15,424
Amazing.
242
00:12:15,425 --> 00:12:19,424
So he finds Manuel Bonilla, the
former exiled president of Honduras.
243
00:12:19,425 --> 00:12:23,109
And he's like, What's up?
Banana Man, maybe you've heard of me.
244
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:25,665
How would you like to be
president of your country again?
245
00:12:25,690 --> 00:12:27,424
And Manuel Bonilla's like...
246
00:12:27,425 --> 00:12:31,424
- Oh, let me think about it. Yes.
- If I, like, help you be president again,
247
00:12:31,425 --> 00:12:33,665
you're totally gonna be, like,
cool with taxes and stuff?
248
00:12:33,690 --> 00:12:35,424
Yes, totally.
So Bonilla says...
249
00:12:35,425 --> 00:12:38,424
If we're gonna do this,
I need my dudes.
250
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:43,424
And in walks Lee Christmas
and Guy "Machine Gun" Molony.
251
00:12:43,425 --> 00:12:45,424
And these guys are bad MFs.
252
00:12:45,425 --> 00:12:48,424
And I'm talking about mother[bleep]s,
253
00:12:48,425 --> 00:12:51,424
if you didn't know what MFs meant.
[laughs]
254
00:12:51,425 --> 00:12:54,424
So Lee Christmas and Machine Gun Molony
255
00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:58,424
are like, All right, we
got to get together an army.
256
00:12:58,425 --> 00:13:03,424
So he goes, and he finds the
lowest, filthiest, scummiest [bleep].
257
00:13:03,425 --> 00:13:07,424
Oh, what's up, saloons?
What's up, brothels?
258
00:13:07,425 --> 00:13:11,424
Stop [bleep] prostitutes
for a second and listen up.
259
00:13:11,425 --> 00:13:14,585
Hey, help me change the world
and create a coup in Honduras.
260
00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:17,424
And he gathers them up
to go on this mission.
261
00:13:17,425 --> 00:13:20,424
So Sam Zemurray secretly
buys all of these
262
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:23,424
ships and guns from the U.S. military.
263
00:13:23,425 --> 00:13:24,985
They get off the boat, and they're like,
264
00:13:25,010 --> 00:13:28,424
Oh, what's up, Honduras?
Sorry, we're about to take you over.
265
00:13:28,425 --> 00:13:29,545
P'shoo-p'shoo-p'shoo-p'shoo!
266
00:13:29,570 --> 00:13:32,424
The government of Honduras is like,
Oh, uh...
267
00:13:32,425 --> 00:13:34,424
P'shoo-p'shoo-p'shoo-p'shoo!
268
00:13:34,425 --> 00:13:37,424
Oh, we're dead.
We're on the ground, dead.
269
00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:39,424
But, eegh, that's what happens.
270
00:13:39,425 --> 00:13:43,424
And they take over the
government of Honduras!
271
00:13:43,425 --> 00:13:45,424
And Bonilla, they put him back in power.
272
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:47,424
Sam says, Hey, we're
cool with the tax thing?
273
00:13:47,425 --> 00:13:49,424
Bonilla's, like,
Yeah, man, it's all good.
274
00:13:49,425 --> 00:13:52,424
This is how, like, the phrase
"banana republics" is started, right?
275
00:13:52,425 --> 00:13:54,424
So this coup is successful.
276
00:13:54,425 --> 00:13:57,424
Sam Zemurray fills the U.S.
with bananas.
277
00:13:57,425 --> 00:13:59,424
It becomes
the Chiquita Banana Company.
278
00:13:59,425 --> 00:14:02,424
Like, yeah, did he do
some bad [bleep]? He did.
279
00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:06,660
But we have him to thank
for amazing, delicious bananas,
280
00:14:06,768 --> 00:14:11,424
and banana republics.
Not just an awesome clothing chain.
281
00:14:11,425 --> 00:14:16,424
A place where a lot of
people died for bananas.
282
00:14:16,425 --> 00:14:18,424
Thanks, dead people?
283
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:21,402
[laughing]
284
00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:23,424
Will you look into Tom's camera
285
00:14:23,425 --> 00:14:26,424
and say, "Stay tuned for more
Drunk History in New Orleans"?
286
00:14:26,425 --> 00:14:28,424
Add whatever you guys
want at the end of that.
287
00:14:28,425 --> 00:14:31,424
[both] Stay tuned for
more Drunk History in...
288
00:14:31,425 --> 00:14:33,631
[screaming]
Okay.
289
00:14:35,117 --> 00:14:36,699
[jazzy clarinet music]
290
00:14:37,747 --> 00:14:40,746
[Doreen] When I play, I
think about Louis Armstrong,
291
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:43,746
all of those cats that came
before me. I want to move
292
00:14:43,747 --> 00:14:46,746
people like he moves me.
Oh, my goodness, he moves me.
293
00:14:46,747 --> 00:14:49,947
And he dealt with a lot of adversity.
I deal with a lot of adversity.
294
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:53,591
[laughs] So, yeah.
[jazzy clarinet music]
295
00:14:54,407 --> 00:14:55,606
[cheers and applause]
296
00:14:55,607 --> 00:14:58,106
I figured we'd make
something that was a New
297
00:14:58,107 --> 00:15:00,606
Orleans tradition, so
we're gonna do the Sazerac.
298
00:15:00,607 --> 00:15:03,606
This is absinthe. You might
hallucinate a little bit tonight.
299
00:15:03,607 --> 00:15:05,606
[giggles]
300
00:15:05,607 --> 00:15:08,606
- Mm, shake it up.
- Shake it, shake it.
301
00:15:08,607 --> 00:15:11,606
[gravely]
# What a wonderful drink #
302
00:15:11,607 --> 00:15:13,606
[laughter]
303
00:15:13,607 --> 00:15:14,607
Hello, I'm Daryl Johnson.
304
00:15:14,632 --> 00:15:17,606
And today we're gonna
talk about Louis Armstrong,
305
00:15:17,607 --> 00:15:21,421
and the people that made Louis
the Louis Armstrong we know today.
306
00:15:21,498 --> 00:15:22,606
Louis Armstrong grew up
307
00:15:22,607 --> 00:15:24,606
in the roughest and
poorest part of New Orleans.
308
00:15:24,607 --> 00:15:27,606
He'd be like,
# I'm gonna sing for some money #
309
00:15:27,607 --> 00:15:29,606
When people would throw pennies at him,
310
00:15:29,607 --> 00:15:30,606
he would pick up the pennies
and throw them in his mouth
311
00:15:30,607 --> 00:15:33,606
so that the big kids
wouldn't take them from him.
312
00:15:33,607 --> 00:15:35,606
And that's how he got his
first nickname, Satchmo.
313
00:15:35,607 --> 00:15:37,606
You take all the coins
and put them in your mouth
314
00:15:37,607 --> 00:15:39,606
like a satchel... satch-mouth.
315
00:15:39,607 --> 00:15:42,606
His mom works as an
off-and-on-again prostitute
316
00:15:42,607 --> 00:15:45,606
in the brothels where all
the jazz music was playing,
317
00:15:45,607 --> 00:15:47,927
so Louis would be like...
Hey, girl, can I listen real quick
318
00:15:47,952 --> 00:15:50,233
to the band that's playing on
the other side of this wall?
319
00:15:50,607 --> 00:15:52,606
And so he would listen
to the Kid Ori Band
320
00:15:52,607 --> 00:15:56,606
and "King" Joe Oliver...
[upbeat jazz music]
321
00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:58,606
the baddest cornetist in town.
322
00:15:58,607 --> 00:16:01,606
Couldn't nobody touch King Oliver.
323
00:16:01,607 --> 00:16:04,606
And little Louis was
listening through those walls
324
00:16:04,607 --> 00:16:06,606
and was like,
That's what I want to do.
325
00:16:06,607 --> 00:16:11,117
I want to play that music.
Whew.
326
00:16:11,607 --> 00:16:14,606
Ah!
It's burning the inside of my body!
327
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,606
Okay, so, one day...
328
00:16:16,607 --> 00:16:20,606
a Jewish coal merchant,
Bernhardt Karnofsky,
329
00:16:20,607 --> 00:16:23,606
saw little Louis at
the brothels and said,
330
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:26,421
Hey, little kid, I can give you a job
331
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,376
if you work for me delivering
coal to the prostitutes.
332
00:16:29,607 --> 00:16:31,606
Come into our family.
We're gonna feed you
333
00:16:31,607 --> 00:16:34,406
and treat you like one of our own.
334
00:16:34,607 --> 00:16:37,380
Mrs. Karnofsky would sing
little Jewish lullabies
335
00:16:37,445 --> 00:16:39,606
to Louis as a young boy,
and it'd be like,
336
00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:42,229
? Ruga-ta... ?
No, wait.
337
00:16:42,258 --> 00:16:44,967
No, that's the prayer.
The lullaby would probably be like,
338
00:16:44,992 --> 00:16:49,606
? We're Jewish, and we love it ?
339
00:16:49,607 --> 00:16:53,606
- That's, like, nice, right?
- [Derek] That's perfect.
340
00:16:53,607 --> 00:16:55,606
[Daryl] So, at 7 years old,
he's working for the Karnofskys.
341
00:16:55,607 --> 00:16:57,606
On the truck, he used
to play a horn, like...
342
00:16:57,607 --> 00:16:59,606
? Ba-ba-ba-ba ?
We're comin'.
343
00:16:59,607 --> 00:17:03,606
And they were driving
past this pawnshop,
344
00:17:03,607 --> 00:17:06,106
and in the window of this
pawnshop was this old,
345
00:17:06,107 --> 00:17:08,606
beat-up cornet, and he
was like, I want that.
346
00:17:08,607 --> 00:17:10,606
Little Louis asked Karnofsky...
347
00:17:10,607 --> 00:17:14,606
Do you think you can advance
me the $5 to buy that cornet?
348
00:17:14,607 --> 00:17:17,606
He said,
Of course I can loan you the $5.
349
00:17:17,607 --> 00:17:19,847
And it was a piece of junk,
but it was his piece of junk.
350
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,606
He used to polish it. He was like...
351
00:17:22,607 --> 00:17:24,606
? Har-mup, nar-nah-nar-nar-bup ?
352
00:17:24,607 --> 00:17:26,887
'Cause he wasn't really that
good yet. But he would say,
353
00:17:26,899 --> 00:17:30,606
I'm gonna be the best
cornetist in all Louisiana.
354
00:17:30,607 --> 00:17:33,606
And wore a Star of David
for the rest of his life
355
00:17:33,607 --> 00:17:37,606
to commemorate how much
the Karnofsky family meant to him.
356
00:17:37,607 --> 00:17:41,606
That was way before all these
celebrities today made it popular
357
00:17:41,607 --> 00:17:43,606
to just go grab a little
black kid off the street.
358
00:17:43,607 --> 00:17:44,606
[laughter]
359
00:17:44,607 --> 00:17:47,106
So he's out one night,
and he decides to shoot
360
00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:49,606
a gun into the air to
celebrate New Year's.
361
00:17:49,607 --> 00:17:52,106
The police was like...
Mm-mm. You can't be a little
362
00:17:52,107 --> 00:17:54,606
black kid in New Orleans
shooting a gun in the air.
363
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:55,606
We gonna arrest you.
364
00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:59,606
He got taken to the New Orleans
Home for Colored Waifs.
365
00:17:59,607 --> 00:18:02,606
- [Derek] It sounds racist.
- [Daryl] It's... I'm sure it was pretty racist.
366
00:18:02,607 --> 00:18:05,406
This is... we're, like, talking 1913.
367
00:18:05,607 --> 00:18:07,606
And that's when he meets Pete Davis,
368
00:18:07,607 --> 00:18:11,238
the musical "instructure"...
musical instructor.
369
00:18:11,407 --> 00:18:14,727
Pete Davis taught him how to read
music and how to play technically.
370
00:18:14,918 --> 00:18:17,287
And he's like, You're
gonna be the "dest"...
371
00:18:17,312 --> 00:18:20,595
the best damn horn
player in New Orleans.
372
00:18:20,605 --> 00:18:22,606
And so, a couple years
later, when he gets out,
373
00:18:22,607 --> 00:18:24,606
he's playing in all
these, like, seedy bars.
374
00:18:24,607 --> 00:18:26,606
Everybody in New Orleans is like,
375
00:18:26,607 --> 00:18:30,606
Hey, that's little Louis Armstrong.
He used to make the horn talk.
376
00:18:30,607 --> 00:18:33,606
- Is that what they said?
- It's what it sounded like.
377
00:18:33,607 --> 00:18:35,606
? Bwop, bwah-da-bwah-da-bwop,
bwah-bwah ?
378
00:18:35,607 --> 00:18:37,328
? Go get you a prostitute ?
379
00:18:37,356 --> 00:18:38,606
? Get you some whiskey ?
380
00:18:38,607 --> 00:18:39,647
? Bwah-da-dup-bup-bup-bup ?
381
00:18:39,672 --> 00:18:42,606
? And have a good time, ha ?
[laughs]
382
00:18:42,607 --> 00:18:45,606
And one day, his idol,
"King" Joe Oliver,
383
00:18:45,607 --> 00:18:48,606
heard him play, and he was
like, Man, this kid's good.
384
00:18:48,607 --> 00:18:49,606
[items clattering]
385
00:18:49,607 --> 00:18:51,798
Oh, [bleep].
[laughter]
386
00:18:52,415 --> 00:18:54,606
Oh, there's another one.
387
00:18:54,607 --> 00:18:58,718
I told you, Sazeracs do
something special. [laughter]
388
00:19:03,398 --> 00:19:06,697
- All right. And what am I doing now?
- [Derek] Tell me the story.
389
00:19:06,698 --> 00:19:08,697
Sorry, starting the story
from over the beginning.
390
00:19:08,698 --> 00:19:12,697
No, no, for real, Daryl,
tell me about Louis Armstrong.
391
00:19:12,698 --> 00:19:17,697
Hey, let's be honest.
We've been through a lot. [laughing]
392
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:20,697
All right. It was King Oliver
who taught him how to perform.
393
00:19:20,698 --> 00:19:24,197
So they used to march all
around town, in parades,
394
00:19:24,198 --> 00:19:28,683
marching bands, and that's
how Louis got his soul.
395
00:19:28,718 --> 00:19:31,207
Papa Joe would be like...
If you heard the crowd getting
396
00:19:31,208 --> 00:19:33,697
into the music, give them
a little bit more, right?
397
00:19:33,698 --> 00:19:35,818
So if you was like,
# Bah-bah-da-bah-duh-ba-bup #
398
00:19:35,843 --> 00:19:38,697
? Bada-bada-bada-bah ?
Just throw more notes.
399
00:19:38,698 --> 00:19:40,697
? Bah-bada-bada-ba-bah-bah ?
[mumbled melody]
400
00:19:40,698 --> 00:19:43,697
? Bop-bop-bow ?
[mumbled melody]
401
00:19:43,698 --> 00:19:46,697
And little Louis was like...
Sure.
402
00:19:46,698 --> 00:19:49,697
I'm drunk as [bleep].
I'll do whatever you want.
403
00:19:49,698 --> 00:19:52,697
I'm so drunk.
404
00:19:52,798 --> 00:19:56,697
What you want now?
What was I talking about? [laughter]
405
00:19:56,848 --> 00:19:59,847
We were talking about Louis Armstrong.
406
00:19:59,848 --> 00:20:03,847
So, to be honest, he was
playing better than Papa Joe.
407
00:20:03,848 --> 00:20:06,847
Louis became the number-one
cornetist in New Orleans.
408
00:20:06,848 --> 00:20:09,847
And everybody was like,
Man, this Louis Armstrong is good.
409
00:20:09,848 --> 00:20:11,847
And that's when he blew up.
410
00:20:11,848 --> 00:20:12,928
- Cheers.
- Louis Armstrong.
411
00:20:12,953 --> 00:20:14,847
- To Louis.
- To Louis.
412
00:20:14,848 --> 00:20:17,008
[Derek] Without that love
that he was given, he might...
413
00:20:17,033 --> 00:20:20,033
[Daryl] He might not be the
Louis Armstrong we know today.
414
00:20:20,848 --> 00:20:24,847
Always remember where you got that...
that inspiration from.
415
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:25,847
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
416
00:20:25,848 --> 00:20:29,847
- Louis.
- Louis Armstrong was the greatest.
417
00:20:29,848 --> 00:20:32,048
- Ooh, okay, do it slow.
- You want me to crack your back?
418
00:20:32,073 --> 00:20:35,847
Yeah, okay, but do it slow.
[laughing]
419
00:20:35,848 --> 00:20:38,847
You want to crack...
You're drunk!
420
00:20:38,848 --> 00:20:40,847
- I'm drunk!
- Oh!
421
00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:43,847
[patriotic music]
422
00:21:00,644 --> 00:21:04,591
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
423
00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:09,233
- What is that?
- It's an apron.
424
00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:12,270
[laughing]
Are we cooking, or what?
425
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:14,305
[Derek laughing]
That's Allan.
426
00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:16,841
I just want to tell the story right.
427
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:18,376
[laughter]
428
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:19,577
Oh!
429
00:21:19,579 --> 00:21:19,610
Why do you have to make this
such a sexual thing?
430
00:21:19,660 --> 00:21:24,210
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35469
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.