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1
00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:03,200
Everybody's going to be
so focused on Sara and James,
2
00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:06,140
and nobody's going to notice you
being the single older sister anyway.
3
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:09,620
I'm not bothered. I'm more bothered
that people will think
4
00:00:09,660 --> 00:00:12,380
that I'm bothered whereas,
in reality, I'm not at all bothered.
5
00:00:12,420 --> 00:00:13,860
Are you sure you're not bothered?
6
00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:16,300
Look and don't worry about not
being a bridesmaid either.
7
00:00:16,340 --> 00:00:18,660
She's not having bridesmaids.
It is a bit selfish,
8
00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:20,860
your little brother
getting married before you.
9
00:00:20,900 --> 00:00:23,380
Well, it would be selfish
if I wanted to get married,
10
00:00:23,420 --> 00:00:26,020
but I don't, because I think
weddings are overrated.
11
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,340
And nobody's asked you.
12
00:00:27,380 --> 00:00:30,220
What if you met someone
and he really wanted to marry you
13
00:00:30,260 --> 00:00:31,980
and then he got down on bended knee
14
00:00:32,020 --> 00:00:34,420
and he begged you
to change your ways for love?
15
00:00:34,460 --> 00:00:36,700
Well, I mean
if it's that important to him
16
00:00:36,740 --> 00:00:39,060
then I might consider
a small ceremony.
17
00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:41,300
What would you wear?
Vintage lace, him in a kilt,
18
00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:43,340
barn dance reception,
fish and chip van,
19
00:00:43,380 --> 00:00:46,420
honeymoon driving round
the coast of Ireland.
20
00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:50,460
Probably. I don't know,
haven't thought about it.
21
00:00:54,660 --> 00:00:58,660
# I'm so excited
22
00:01:00,420 --> 00:01:03,860
Someday, someday, Leeds United.
23
00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:05,660
God, I love weddings!
24
00:01:05,700 --> 00:01:09,460
The festivities, the romance,
it's celestial.
25
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:12,020
That's why you can make such
great spiritual connections.
26
00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:14,540
Connection being,
your vagina, his penis.
27
00:01:14,580 --> 00:01:18,340
Just admit it, weddings are the best
place to get nailed - in every way.
28
00:01:18,380 --> 00:01:21,660
No, it's about everybody's
heart chakras being wide open,
29
00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:23,980
It has nothing to do
with nailing anybody.
30
00:01:24,020 --> 00:01:27,260
Right, well, better get
a wriggle on. Got to help Sara.
31
00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:29,940
What with? I answered a post
she put out on Facebook,
32
00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:32,380
ended up helping her
with a couple of things -
33
00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:34,820
the dress, the cake, the venue,
that kind of thing.
34
00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:38,860
All right, then, see ya!
35
00:01:40,660 --> 00:01:42,100
Whoa!
36
00:01:42,140 --> 00:01:44,180
Super fit.
37
00:01:44,220 --> 00:01:45,620
Very toned.
38
00:01:45,660 --> 00:01:48,260
Phwoar. Look at those arms!
39
00:01:48,300 --> 00:01:49,740
So tall.
40
00:01:49,780 --> 00:01:51,460
She is wearing killer heels though.
41
00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:53,820
Nightmare,
all these women are gorgeous.
42
00:01:53,860 --> 00:01:55,500
You could be in trouble here.
43
00:01:55,540 --> 00:01:58,340
Thanks, Bunny.
I'm just saying.
44
00:01:58,380 --> 00:02:01,060
Oh, mortifi-cash.
What?
45
00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,460
Well, the bridesmaids
are all in bloody lemon.
46
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:06,180
Oh, my God, so there ARE bridesmaids?
47
00:02:06,220 --> 00:02:08,180
Lying cow.
48
00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:09,940
Oh, God, how embarrassing.
49
00:02:09,980 --> 00:02:12,180
Laura's in the same dress.
50
00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:15,340
Laura!
51
00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:16,580
All right.
52
00:02:16,620 --> 00:02:18,100
What are you going to do?
53
00:02:18,140 --> 00:02:19,300
About what?
54
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:22,300
The fact that you're in the
same dress as the bridesmaids?
55
00:02:22,340 --> 00:02:23,380
Oh, right, yeah, this.
56
00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:25,700
Oh, it's just cos
I'm carrying summat down the aisle.
57
00:02:25,740 --> 00:02:28,020
Oh, no, mate, I think
you got the wrong end of the stick.
58
00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:30,980
You can't carry something down the
aisle unless the bride asks you to.
59
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:33,820
Yeah, I know. She has asked me.
It's no big deal.
60
00:02:33,860 --> 00:02:36,380
There's a few of us doing it.
Is this a joke?
61
00:02:36,420 --> 00:02:37,940
What the hell?!
62
00:02:37,980 --> 00:02:40,780
Laura, are you a bridesmaid
at my brother's wedding and I'm not?
63
00:02:40,820 --> 00:02:42,780
Keep your voice down.
I will not!
64
00:02:42,820 --> 00:02:43,940
People are looking at us.
65
00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:46,100
She's left me out of
this whole wedding on purpose.
66
00:02:46,140 --> 00:02:47,500
She's doing it on purpose.
67
00:02:47,540 --> 00:02:49,500
Actually, I quite like it.
68
00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:51,540
Soz, mate, I didn't know.
69
00:02:51,580 --> 00:02:53,100
Controversh.
70
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:55,060
I don't know who
this is worse for, you or me?
71
00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:58,060
Well, me, obviously, seeing as
it's my little brother's wedding
72
00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:01,220
and the bride has asked my best
friend to be a bridesmaid and not me.
73
00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:03,220
Not that I care about
being a bridesmaid
74
00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:05,860
but she said herself
they're just Facebook friends!
75
00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:08,180
Is something the matter here?
I'm not going in.
76
00:03:08,220 --> 00:03:10,700
Meg's just feeling
a little bit excluded.
77
00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:13,420
Yeah, it's not about you today,
Meg, is it? Shh.
78
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:17,460
You do actually have
very important duties today, Meg.
79
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:20,340
Meg is in charge
of table decorations,
80
00:03:20,380 --> 00:03:24,060
and you can't have a wedding
without table decorations, can you?
81
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:26,100
Well, you can.
82
00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:27,900
Erm...
83
00:03:27,940 --> 00:03:29,420
They will look lovely
84
00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:32,500
and I'm sure everyone
will remember to say so.
85
00:03:32,540 --> 00:03:35,340
They're actually so good, I'm going
to have them at my own wedding.
86
00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:39,380
Slightly putting the cart
before the horse there, aren't we?
87
00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:43,060
MUSIC: "Signed, Sealed, Delivered
I'm Yours" by Stevie Wonder
88
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:45,900
CHEERING
89
00:03:45,940 --> 00:03:48,900
Er, Laura, can I just ask
how the thing you ended up
90
00:03:48,940 --> 00:03:51,420
carrying down the aisle was
the bride's train?
91
00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:53,500
She just asked me,
I couldn't say no.
92
00:03:53,540 --> 00:03:55,140
Laura, photos!
93
00:03:55,180 --> 00:03:59,180
Yeah.
94
00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:08,220
GENERAL CHATTER
95
00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:14,380
THEY CHEER
96
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,340
Hi.
97
00:04:21,380 --> 00:04:23,100
You're James's sister, aren't you?
98
00:04:23,140 --> 00:04:24,980
I'm Caz, I'm one of Sara's friends.
99
00:04:25,020 --> 00:04:26,140
Meg.
100
00:04:26,180 --> 00:04:28,780
So how do you know Luke?
Oh, I don't know him.
101
00:04:28,820 --> 00:04:31,020
He's pretty cute, don't you think?
102
00:04:31,060 --> 00:04:33,900
Yeah, he's...he's nice looking.
103
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,300
Do you like him then?
104
00:04:35,340 --> 00:04:38,580
Well, it's hard to say,
I haven't spoken to him.
105
00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:40,300
Have you spoken to him?
106
00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:43,860
We've been at a few festivals
together and stuff. Cool.
107
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:47,900
We always end up all over each other
when we get drunk.
108
00:04:48,220 --> 00:04:50,580
Just so you know.
109
00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:52,580
Right.
110
00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:54,300
So are you on the singles table?
111
00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:56,060
I didn't know there was
a singles table.
112
00:04:56,100 --> 00:05:00,100
Yeah. It's mainly Sara's
model friends. Them lot.
113
00:05:00,740 --> 00:05:04,140
WOMEN CHUCKLE
114
00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:07,180
I'm just going to go
and say hi to Luke.
115
00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:10,220
You see,
this is what I love about weddings,
116
00:05:10,260 --> 00:05:13,420
that you just make connections
with people. Don't you agree, Matt?
117
00:05:13,460 --> 00:05:14,580
I suppose, yeah.
118
00:05:14,620 --> 00:05:17,100
You see, I really feel like
I've actually learnt something
119
00:05:17,140 --> 00:05:19,300
cos I had absolutely no idea
what PPI was,
120
00:05:19,340 --> 00:05:21,420
and it is just so interesting.
121
00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:25,460
Um, Matt? So if I wanted to make a
PPI claim, do I just call you or...?
122
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:28,380
You can do, yeah.
Matt?
123
00:05:28,420 --> 00:05:29,820
Do you have a number that...?
124
00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:31,260
I've got a business card.
125
00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:34,820
Um, Matt's my husband.
We're married, OK?
126
00:05:34,860 --> 00:05:37,060
So can you back the fuck off?
127
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:38,860
OK, this is a wedding, yeah,
128
00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:40,900
so I suggest you just
chill out a little bit?
129
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:42,900
You see, when I'm stressed,
I visualise a lake.
130
00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:44,860
OK, you'd better go now.
131
00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:48,900
Card? No?
132
00:05:49,180 --> 00:05:50,500
Are you being serious?
133
00:05:50,540 --> 00:05:52,460
OK, don't get stressed
because of the baby...
134
00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:56,140
Because of the baby?!
You're making me look stupid...
135
00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:57,700
It's insania.
136
00:05:57,740 --> 00:06:00,660
I'm getting fanny-blocked
left, right and centro.
137
00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:02,340
Any intel on the competish?
138
00:06:02,380 --> 00:06:04,740
I've told you, Bunny,
I'm not interested. I'm too busy.
139
00:06:04,780 --> 00:06:06,860
I've got table decorations to nail,
remember?
140
00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,260
Yeah, you're right,
the competition's just so fierce,
141
00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:11,300
it makes you want to quit.
Not what I said.
142
00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:13,900
Oh, hello. Ding dong.
143
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:16,060
I could definitely
make a connection with HIM.
144
00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:17,740
Yeah, he's all right, I s'pose.
145
00:06:17,780 --> 00:06:19,660
Oh, do you know him, then?
No.
146
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:20,860
Do you like him, then?
147
00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:23,140
It's hard to say,
I haven't spoken to him.
148
00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:24,460
Have you spoken to him?
149
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,620
No, he's too busy talking
to that guy in the kilt.
150
00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:29,100
Oh, I thought we were
talking about the guy in the kilt.
151
00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:30,940
Oh, no, not him.
152
00:06:30,980 --> 00:06:32,300
HIM.
153
00:06:32,340 --> 00:06:33,940
He's pretty cute.
154
00:06:33,980 --> 00:06:35,980
He's pretty pubescent.
155
00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:37,620
Look, if you fancy him, just say,
156
00:06:37,660 --> 00:06:39,580
I don't want to tread
on anyone's toes.
157
00:06:39,620 --> 00:06:41,940
Er, no, Bunny, I don't fancy him,
he's a child.
158
00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:43,940
Ooh. Hello, what about him?
159
00:06:43,980 --> 00:06:46,860
12 o'clock, looks like
his heart chakra's wide open.
160
00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:49,740
Hi.
Hi. Are you on your own?
161
00:06:49,780 --> 00:06:51,180
Yes, unfortunately.
162
00:06:51,220 --> 00:06:55,220
Have we met? I just felt like
we had a connection.
163
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:59,100
You do realise he's your cousin?
Oh!
164
00:06:59,140 --> 00:07:00,420
First or second?
165
00:07:00,460 --> 00:07:01,620
First.
166
00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:03,500
Tom? Tim?
167
00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:05,340
Henry.
Henry.
168
00:07:05,380 --> 00:07:09,380
I've got to go now,
I feel uncomfortable.
169
00:07:09,540 --> 00:07:12,420
Spiritual connection,
blood relation - same thing.
170
00:07:12,460 --> 00:07:15,620
Come on, guys, let's take a picture.
171
00:07:15,660 --> 00:07:18,180
THEY CHEER
172
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,820
"What's that, Sara?
Decorate a candle?"
173
00:07:20,860 --> 00:07:24,380
Could do, or I could actually
add some wow value to the occasion
174
00:07:24,420 --> 00:07:27,500
by dropping a floating candle
into a goldfish bowl
175
00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:31,100
complete with live fish
which guests can take home as a gift.
176
00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:34,060
Nailed it!
177
00:07:34,100 --> 00:07:37,260
Do you guys know anything
about these goldfish bowls?
178
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,980
Certainly do.
179
00:07:39,020 --> 00:07:43,020
It's just that quite
a lot of the goldfish are dead.
180
00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:45,620
Oh, shit.
181
00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:48,380
Stinks.
182
00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:49,620
Help me.
183
00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:51,820
Find some alive ones
and put them on the top table.
184
00:07:51,860 --> 00:07:55,860
I need this.
185
00:08:07,580 --> 00:08:08,820
Sorry, God.
186
00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:10,900
Not that you can possibly exist.
187
00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:12,380
KNOCKING ON DOOR
188
00:08:12,420 --> 00:08:14,060
Meg, are you in here?
Yeah!
189
00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:16,580
Oh, you're not crying, are you?
No!
190
00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:18,380
I'm just...
191
00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:20,300
doing a poo.
192
00:08:20,340 --> 00:08:21,780
LOUD SPLASH
193
00:08:21,820 --> 00:08:24,140
Bloody hell, are you all right?
194
00:08:24,180 --> 00:08:25,340
TOILET FLUSHES
195
00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:26,980
All better now.
196
00:08:27,020 --> 00:08:31,020
Hurry up,
you're going to miss the speeches.
197
00:08:31,820 --> 00:08:34,740
And I think everyone will agree
that Laura has done
198
00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:38,580
a smashing job in helping Sara
to pick out her stunning dress.
199
00:08:38,620 --> 00:08:40,060
Yeah, well done, Laura.
200
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:41,780
APPLAUSE
201
00:08:41,820 --> 00:08:45,500
The only time I've seen Sara look
more gorgeous is in her bikini,
202
00:08:45,540 --> 00:08:49,540
which admittedly is just an image
I have made up in my mind.
203
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:51,500
LAUGHTER
204
00:08:51,540 --> 00:08:52,780
Thanks very much.
205
00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:56,260
And I'm going to, er,
pass over to the groom now.
206
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:59,300
Here he comes.
207
00:08:59,340 --> 00:09:01,140
Thanks there, mate, cheers.
208
00:09:01,180 --> 00:09:03,780
Oh, he's looking over. Fit.
209
00:09:03,820 --> 00:09:05,340
Amazing skin.
210
00:09:05,380 --> 00:09:07,140
Mmm, like a baby's.
211
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,540
So well dressed!
212
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:10,540
Almost like his mum dressed him.
213
00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:13,500
We definitely have a connection.
I can feel it.
214
00:09:13,540 --> 00:09:15,740
Bunny, he's sitting on
the kids' table.
215
00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:17,180
He's eating jelly!
216
00:09:17,220 --> 00:09:20,380
I know what's happening here,
this is a textbook fanny block.
217
00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:23,500
Er, no, what's happening here is,
you've run out of options
218
00:09:23,540 --> 00:09:25,300
and you're panic buying.
219
00:09:25,340 --> 00:09:28,060
I'd like to thank my wife,
feels weird saying that!
220
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:30,340
Why do you always have to have
a conquest anyway?
221
00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:32,900
Why can't you have a good time
without having a shag lined up?
222
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:33,940
Guys, shh.
223
00:09:33,980 --> 00:09:36,380
Oh, sorry, I mean
"spiritual connection."
224
00:09:36,420 --> 00:09:39,740
"Oooh, I'm Meg, I can't stand
anyone else having a good time."
225
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:41,820
Nice table decorations by the way.
Shush!
226
00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:44,540
You really do look stunning today,
Mrs Keswick.
227
00:09:44,580 --> 00:09:47,500
"Oh, oh, I'm Meg, and I'm such
a failure, I messed up again."
228
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:49,220
Shh!
..and I just want to say
229
00:09:49,260 --> 00:09:51,580
I'm really excited to spend
the rest of my life with you.
230
00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:53,740
"Oooh, I'm Bunny, I'll fuck anything,
231
00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:56,500
"I WANT TO FUCK MY COUSIN."
232
00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:58,220
SILENCE
233
00:09:58,260 --> 00:10:02,260
MICROPHONE FEEDBACK
234
00:10:02,780 --> 00:10:04,500
I was talking about her.
235
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:08,600
Sorry, carry on.
236
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,080
Have you got a husband?
No.
237
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,120
Have you got a boyfriend?
No.
238
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,760
Have you got a dog?
No.
239
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,680
What HAVE you got?
240
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:23,960
Um...
241
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,360
big feet?
242
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:26,400
SHE CHUCKLES
243
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,360
Oh, I love your suit. Whoa.
Cheers.
244
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,480
And your tie,
it's an amazing colour.
245
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,400
People say I look
like Geri Halliwell. Who?
246
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,040
Ginger Spice?
I don't know what that is.
247
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,240
SHE CHUCKLES
HE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY
248
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,040
Can I, er, read your palm?
249
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:41,520
Er, it's a bit sweaty. I don't...
250
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:42,720
What star sign are you?
251
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:45,160
Think I'm Sagittarius.
252
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,360
Shut the front door.
I knew we shared the same energy.
253
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:52,400
Oh, you crave new experiences?
Yeah.
254
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,400
Me mum says if I get good results,
255
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,600
I can go to Newquay
for me summer holidays
256
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,760
but I'm also kind of saving up
for a new skateboard.
257
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,000
Oh, so mature.
What do you do for a job, Callum?
258
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,200
Just a paper round.
259
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:03,840
Sorry, how old are you?
260
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,800
Erm, think I said 20.
261
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:10,840
Bunny, can I have a word?
262
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,800
Owns a skateboard.
Does a paper round. Has zits.
263
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:14,880
What's your point?
264
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,000
My point is
you're flirting with a foetus.
265
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,240
He told me he was 20!
266
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,840
What do you want me to do? ID him?
267
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:23,400
I don't think they put your date of
birth on Wacky Warehouse memberships?
268
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,600
Meg, this is
a textbook fanny blocking.
269
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,280
You're a sexual predator.
270
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:32,320
You're a jealous fanny.
271
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:36,440
So, how big's your skateboard?
272
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,920
Oh, there you are! Can you help?
273
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:44,160
The big one's blocked.
274
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,760
So what's the goss then?
275
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:49,440
Well, Meg's freaking out
cos Bunny fancies that kid.
276
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,880
What? Callum? How old is he?
277
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,640
Dunno. He's minging n'all.
And spotty.
278
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:57,120
Bet he's got a pencil dick.
Ugh.
279
00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,360
KNOCKING ON DOOR
280
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,800
This is Callum's mother.
Open the door.
281
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,400
Oh, shit.
282
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:06,440
WATER RUNNING
283
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,640
Did you hear all that?
284
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:10,760
Enough to know that
one of your friend's
285
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,520
is trying to hit on
my 15-year-old son, yes.
286
00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:17,080
You'd better go and tell your friend
to back off before it's too late.
287
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:20,800
And by the way,
my son is not "minging".
288
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,840
And he's quite adequately endowed,
thank you.
289
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:27,880
THEY LAUGH
290
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:32,640
We better go and tell Bunny.
291
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:36,680
In a minute.
Let's have a dance first.
292
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,640
Meg, stop it, that's enough.
293
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:45,200
I know it's really hard for you
that your little brother's
294
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:48,640
got married before you but this
is James's special day and I won't
295
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:52,080
have you ruining it, just so that
you can be the centre of attention.
296
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:55,040
I'm not ruining it.
297
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,280
GASPING
298
00:12:56,320 --> 00:13:00,320
Oh, my God.
299
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:06,080
Laura!
300
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,400
Look.
301
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:10,280
Oh, yeah, by the way, he's 15.
302
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,920
15?!
303
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:14,960
Eh, no!
304
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,120
Stop kissing! Stop kissing!
Please stop kissing.
305
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:18,680
You have to stop kissing now.
306
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,560
Bunny!
307
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,240
Go get your own, Meg!
308
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:25,800
Sorry, what are you doing? You're
interrupting a private moment here.
309
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,400
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Oh, Mum!
310
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,280
You're a disgrace. He's 15.
311
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,000
What? He told me he was 20.
312
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:36,040
I should report you to the police,
you mucky pervert.
313
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:37,240
Nothing happened.
314
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:41,000
No new skateboard for you.
Right, we're going straight home.
315
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,160
But I want to stay up.
And as for you, you...
316
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,200
slag!
317
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,960
OK, can I just suggest you
try visualising a lake?
318
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,120
What you have got to say
for yourself?
319
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,520
Bunny, just apologise.
320
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,280
I didn't know that he was 15
321
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,040
but now that I know that,
it changes everything, but...
322
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,240
it goes without saying that...
323
00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:58,640
I will wait for you, Callum.
324
00:13:58,680 --> 00:13:59,720
Not an apology.
325
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:03,640
What we have, it runs deep, and
it transcends age and prejudice...
326
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:04,880
But not the law.
327
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,680
No, unfortunately,
so you're going to go
328
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:09,480
and you're going to get out of here,
and you're going to grow older,
329
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:12,400
one year older, and you're going to
come back and we're going to make love.
330
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:15,360
Excuse me! Lots of love
but just not here, Callum,
331
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,880
not this night.
332
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,520
Oh, why can't I be 16?
333
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,680
Thanks for nothing, friends.
334
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,480
I was trying to stop you from...
335
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:24,640
From meeting The One?
336
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,400
The youngest One? Yes.
337
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,200
How's your spiritual connection now,
338
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,040
now that you've nearly broken
the law with a sexual violation?
339
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,280
It's not a crime
if you don't know it's a crime.
340
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:34,640
Not how the law works.
341
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:37,320
Have you sorted these fish out?
Sara'll freak if she sees them.
342
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,160
Mmm, "Sara'll freak
if she sees them."
343
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,520
Since when have you given one tiny
shit about what Sara thinks? Hmm?
344
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:43,880
What about me?
345
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,200
It is her wedding day, Meg.
346
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,120
Yeah, and don't we fucking know it?
347
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,800
I don't like her
and I don't want her in my family
348
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,880
and I have nothing but resentment
towards her and her stupid f...
349
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,680
Hi!!
Hi, girls!
350
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,320
Congratulations.
351
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,160
Oh, I haven't seen you all day, Meg.
352
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,520
God, I love your dress,
you look beautiful.
353
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,880
Thank you, well, Laura helped me.
354
00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:07,840
You're quite a classy girl, so,
just anything goes really. Like me.
355
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:11,880
I'm the same, I can wear anything
and still look classy.
356
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,680
Excuse me,
357
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:17,560
I heard you're responsible
for the table centre-pieces?
358
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:18,680
SQUELCH
359
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:19,800
No.
360
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:23,280
If I find one more dead fish
has been disposed of on site,
361
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:24,760
this wedding will be shut down,
362
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:28,800
you'll be reported to the police and
you'll be fined, do you understand?
363
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:34,840
So what I'm saying is
take your fish and fuck off.
364
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:51,960
THUD
365
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:56,000
BUNNY: Oh, God. Right, get in there.
366
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:04,400
Oh, God. Oh, bloody hell!
That is impressive!
367
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:39,520
Is that...
James's sister on the roof?
368
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:43,560
What is she doing?
369
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:50,520
Am I psychic or is someone
up here a bit emotional?
370
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,720
It'll get better, won't it?
371
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,640
Well, I wouldn't have thought so,
Meg.
372
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,520
Not if you keep carrying on
like you are.
373
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,320
Carry on like what?
I haven't done anything.
374
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:03,000
Precisely.
375
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,640
You know, when you were born,
376
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:08,680
we just didn't expect you to be
so unhappy as a baby, you know.
377
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:13,000
You were just like this
purple sobbing ball of fear.
378
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,680
And you cried and you cried
379
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,800
and you didn't know why
because you were a baby
380
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:22,840
so you got scared and that
made me scared and I realised that
381
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:27,800
my role in life was just to keep you
from being unhappy, you know.
382
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:32,560
And nothing else really mattered.
383
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,640
But 26 years on,
384
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,680
I'm fucking exhausted.
385
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:40,440
You've got to sort your life out,
Meg.
386
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,040
Is this supposed to be making me
feel better?
387
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,440
You've got to
stand on your own two feet.
388
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:49,480
I can give you advice.
389
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:53,600
I'm always here if you need advice.
390
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,520
Can I ask you something then?
391
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:03,360
Yeah, of course.
392
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:07,400
How would you get rid
of a hat full of dead fish?
393
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:13,440
Here.
394
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:18,640
SHE GASPS
395
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,080
I'll leave you to it.
396
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,240
Meg, darling, are you OK?
397
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:33,280
Well, one of my friend's
has committed the ultimate act
398
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,920
of disloyalty at
my own little brother's wedding,
399
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,680
and the other one's a paedophile
and I've just had to wear a hat
400
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:42,240
full of decomposing fish but apart
from that, best day of my life.
401
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:44,600
So it is true?
You are having a breakdown?
402
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:46,400
Does it look like
I'm having a breakdown?
403
00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:47,480
A bit.
404
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,240
You're all alone on
top of a tall building. And?
405
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,320
People think that you're...
Oh! "People think, people think."
406
00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:56,000
I don't care what people think!
407
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:59,880
I think you need to see this.
408
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:03,920
I know you're single but there's
still so much to live for!
409
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:05,840
CROWD MUMBLE
410
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,400
Maybe it's because
James got married before her.
411
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,440
Yeah, and wasn't her best friend
a bridesmaid and she wasn't?
412
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:16,120
She probably hates her nose.
413
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,320
And she's got an Adam's apple.
414
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,240
CROWD: Ahhh!
415
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,360
People think
you're going to top yourself.
416
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,960
Well, I don't want people
to think that.
417
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,400
I'm fine! I'M FINE!
418
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,080
Why didn't you correct them?
419
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:33,120
Well, we weren't 100%.
420
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:34,800
OK.
421
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,360
OK, now I know I said I don't care
422
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,080
what the people at this wedding
think about me
423
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:42,640
but I've decided I really do care
424
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:44,960
what the people at this wedding
think about me.
425
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,160
Well, there's only one thing for it.
426
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,160
Shall we dance?
427
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:53,200
MUSIC PLAYS
428
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:52,160
SONG: (I've Had) The Time Of My Life
429
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,720
LOUD THUD
CROWD GROAN
430
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:53,160
MEG GROANS
431
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:57,200
I think I've made my point.
432
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:04,560
I genuinely enjoyed myself tonight.
Albeit out of spite.
433
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,000
I'm sorry about
the bridesmaid thing.
434
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,040
For what's it worth, I think she's
got fuck-all taste in anything,
435
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,760
including bridesmaids.
436
00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,280
You cool?
Yeah.
437
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,400
I still think she's
a sociopath for asking you
438
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,440
but I'm sorry for being
a dick about it.
439
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,960
Well, people can get carried
away at weddings, can't they?
440
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,400
Some more than others.
441
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:24,040
I know, what was I thinking?
442
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,240
So you're not going to wait a year
to have sex with a schoolboy, then?
443
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:28,800
It was never going to happen -
444
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,320
two Sagittariuses is never
going to be compatible.
445
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:34,720
I heard you were compatible
with someone else?
446
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,840
I saw you fucking the chef.
447
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,480
Well, you can't have done
because I didn't fuck the chef.
448
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,080
I fucked the pot washer!
449
00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:45,080
You sex pest, what is wrong with you?
Oh, my God, what is wrong with you?
450
00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:48,320
I'm not a sex pest, I'm bubbly!
451
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,480
What happened to
a "spiritual connection"?
452
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:54,520
Meg, shut your face!
And you shut your face as well.
453
00:22:54,570 --> 00:22:59,120
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