All language subtitles for Drifters s03e03 Vanilla.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese Download
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:07,160 BORED SIGH 2 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:15,720 What's wrong, Gary? I've been working it for 15 minutes - 3 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:18,640 and nothing. Are you tired? 4 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:21,840 Look, it's just earlier today... 5 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:24,040 I may have had one or two cheeky wanks. 6 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:27,680 Well, which was it? One or two? Have you been spaffing to porn again? 7 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:30,447 You're meant to be on a porn diet. You're addicted. 8 00:00:30,527 --> 00:00:32,100 I'm not addicted, it's my hobby. 9 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:36,360 Well, give it a rest, cos when you can get it up it's no fun for me either. 10 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,480 Alright, I'll try. 11 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:42,280 He just can't seem to get excited by the real thing anymore. 12 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,960 It's all just a bit... vanilla. 13 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:49,000 I've seen things, Laura, things I can't... unsee. 14 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:52,200 SIGHS 15 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:00,320 # I'm so excited 16 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,920 # Oh-oh-oh-oh! 17 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:07,000 Someday, someday, Leeds United! 18 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:10,480 I were hoping work was gonna help me forget Gary's useless knob. 19 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:13,240 Hey! Enough sex talk, focus on the condoms, please? 20 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,120 It's bad enough having to stand in till Bunny arrives. 21 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:19,680 You didn't have to wear her costume, Malcolm. I can see your nipples. 22 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:23,080 That's a lie, Meg, because mine are inverted. 23 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:27,120 Bugger off. 24 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:32,760 So sorry. Slept through my alarm. And then I went shopping. Sorry. 25 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:36,720 Okay. Put this on, please? 26 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,120 Urgh. Malcolm, it's damp. 27 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,600 Don't worry, it's not sweat. It's Vaseline. 28 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:45,280 How can you afford all that on what he pays us? 29 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:47,933 Daddy gave me his credit card to use for emergencies. 30 00:01:48,013 --> 00:01:49,320 How is this is an emergency? 31 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,880 The Harvey Nichols sale ends today. I see you got some stilts. 32 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:55,480 You know what they say, if the shoe fits, buy them. 33 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:59,520 And if they don't, just buy them anyway and take painkillers. PHONE RINGS 34 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:05,000 Shit. It's Dad. He must know I've used his card. 35 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:06,880 ENDS CALL 36 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,680 Find My Phone? Who's using Find My Phone? 37 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,080 Oh, shit! He's tracking me. 38 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:16,120 RINGS Oh, God, now he's ringing me again. 39 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:18,600 Hanging up. That'll fix it. 40 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,240 So, what is the word - literally - on the street? 41 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:24,440 Gary said I'm too "vanilla". He don't find me sexy anymore. 42 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,080 Course he does, Laura. He finds everything sexy. 43 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:31,040 I can understand why you're angry, Laura, porn is so degrading to women. 44 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,627 It makes us feel like objects. 45 00:02:32,707 --> 00:02:35,080 Yeah, like an object nobody wants, like a book. 46 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:38,400 You know what they say. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. 47 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,040 I aren't doing porn, you have to change your name. 48 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,840 I think she means watch porn with him. Oh. 49 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,040 Meg? Kate! 50 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:50,080 Oh, my God. I haven't seen you since we left school. 51 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:54,960 B6 Biology Biatches. B6 Biology Biatches. 52 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:59,080 Oh, my God, what have you been up to? Oh, well, a few years back 53 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:00,907 I opened a coffee stall in Harrogate 54 00:03:00,987 --> 00:03:03,160 out the back of a repurposed rickshaw. Not bad. 55 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,591 - I've been - The business has grown into 56 00:03:05,671 --> 00:03:07,720 a chain of successful boutique coffee shops and 57 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:12,480 I'm about to expand the franchise in to nine more cities. What about you? 58 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,960 Um, 59 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:21,000 similar. I-I'm working in communications for... 60 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:25,400 for a high-end purveyor of upmarket... rubber Jonathans. 61 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,720 I'm a big believer in safe sex. It's my passion. 62 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:33,760 Meg, hun, who made you wear this degrading thing? 63 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:38,000 Hello. Can I interest you in heightening your sensual pleasure 64 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,680 whilst lowering the risk of Chlamydia today? 65 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,360 Him. He made me do this. 66 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,480 Are you aware that by the age of 17, 67 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,400 78 percent of girls are self-conscious about 68 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:50,360 their body image, all thanks to ignorant men like you 69 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,920 objectifying intelligent women like these? 70 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,520 God, you're a business dinosaur and, like the actual dinosaurs, 71 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,960 you'll soon be extinct. Do you understand what I'm saying? 72 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,885 You don't like the slutty outfits? 73 00:04:01,965 --> 00:04:03,960 No, I do not like the slutty outfits, 74 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:08,000 and neither will the Equality and Human Rights Commission when I report this. 75 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,400 I'll talk to head office straightaway. 76 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:14,440 And please, by way of an apology, have some free spunk bags. 77 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:22,280 Meg, it has been so lovely seeing you. LinkedIn me, yeah? 78 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,600 I want to have sex with her life. 79 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:33,280 Right then. So, what kind do you wanna watch? 80 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,720 I dunno, what do you wanna watch? 81 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,080 Anything you wanna watch really. You choose. No, you choose. 82 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:43,120 Ladies first, honestly. Well, you're the expert. What are you into? 83 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,760 Well, I dunno. Um... 84 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,320 I quite like... 85 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,920 ..this kind? WOMAN MOANING 86 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,440 No. Right. Let's build up to that. 87 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:58,480 What about Hot Dirty Blondes? Nah. Borin'. 88 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:02,600 Something else. What about... 89 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:04,440 KEYS CLICK ..this? 90 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,280 MILFs? As in mums? 91 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,480 Mums I'd Like To... 92 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:12,520 Yeah. Is that okay? 93 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,080 Sexy XXX MILFs, 94 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,160 Porn MILF on MILF action, 95 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:21,200 Two MILFs one cup. Lager-drinking MILF gets shagged? 96 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,040 MILFs behaving badly. 97 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,960 OVER COMPUTER "It's just ridiculous..." 98 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,480 She can't be a mum, she's fucking my age. 99 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,600 And those are not the tits of someone who's breastfed. 100 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,665 "Oh, Jimmy. Oh, my God. If your father heard you talking like that..." 101 00:05:35,745 --> 00:05:36,990 Hang on, is she his mum? 102 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,200 Stepmum. Shhh. 103 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,760 "I'm serious..." Ugh! "I'm fucking serious." 104 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:46,320 That's not how you get a lad to tidy his room. "Oh, my God..." 105 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:49,320 Maybe it is. Oh, that's convenient. 106 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:53,080 I thought she were annoyed with him, now she's sucking him off. Shhh! 107 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,960 Why do girls always have to talk through films? 108 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,920 The plot's all over the place, Gary. 109 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:01,960 Oh, that is so hot. I would love it if you did that to me. 110 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,277 Yeah, and I'd like it if you had a six pack, 111 00:06:04,357 --> 00:06:06,400 and a big fat swinging dick that lasted 45 minutes. 112 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:11,400 Can't always get what we want, can we?! 113 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,280 Where are you going? Fancy dress party? 114 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,840 What's the theme? American bingo ladies? 115 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:30,720 I'm going to see Kate at one of her cafes. How funny is this, 116 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,760 it's called Bean & Scone. 117 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,800 It's "scoane". Why are you drinking coffee before you go to a coffee shop? 118 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:39,360 I thought you hated it anyway. Me? No. I love it. 119 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,458 Didn't you once have an allergic reaction 120 00:06:41,538 --> 00:06:43,400 to coffee where you had hallucinations? 121 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:45,840 You said you could see noises. 122 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,080 Kate is just the sort of person I should be hanging out with. 123 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,429 Hoping some of her success rubs off on me. 124 00:06:51,509 --> 00:06:53,120 What, like her dress sense has? 125 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,376 Pfft. Says the girl whose dress sense is 126 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:57,440 "smart casual-ly stealing from her father". 127 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:01,529 I've had a tough week, I feel like I've earned it. 128 00:07:01,609 --> 00:07:03,120 Your dad has. How are the stilts? 129 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:08,320 I've fallen over twice, but who cares when I look this good? 130 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,760 Yeah, you look drunk. You do realise he's gonna make you 131 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,520 take it all back once he tracks you down? Wrong. 132 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:19,080 How can he track me down when my phone isn't on? 133 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:22,240 You're just gonna keep it switched off till, what, you die? 134 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:25,640 No. Just until the store's return policy runs out. 135 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:29,400 28 days without a phone? You won't last half an hour. 136 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:32,520 28 days? Is that how long it is? 137 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,800 Hold on, I'm just gonna Google that. 138 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:37,960 I can't use my phone. 139 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,680 That horny twat's been wanking himself dry over MILFs. 140 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:45,720 What have MILFs got that I haven't? Children? I don't trust internet MILFs. 141 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,440 I reckon most of them aren't even mothers anyway. 142 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:51,640 I mean, who's looking after the kids? Probably at school. 143 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,840 Nine o'clock, drop the kids off. 9:30, film a shag. 144 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:58,880 Lunch. Couple of blowies. Pick the kids up again. Tea. Homework. Bed. 145 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:04,040 MILFs. 146 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:09,960 EXPLOSIONS AND CHIRRUPING 147 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,040 Mummy's very angry. 148 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,640 What are you doing? I'm a MILF, Gary. 149 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,369 Like one of those internet ones you've been creaming over. 150 00:08:18,449 --> 00:08:19,680 Ah, yes. Have I been naughty? 151 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:24,000 Yeah, I asked you to tidy your room, but look at it, it's a pigsty. 152 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:27,480 Am I gonna be punished? I should be putting a hot wash on. 153 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,480 Oh, yeah, keep talking, you dirty MILF. 154 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:31,896 I should be putting a hot wash on 155 00:08:31,976 --> 00:08:34,520 but I'm so knackered from lugging round all this baby weight. 156 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,360 I'm just a tired, horny MILF. 157 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,200 This is so wrong. 158 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:44,240 I know, I shouldn't be feeling all these feelings about my... son. 159 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:47,120 I shouldn't be here. But I can't control myself. 160 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:51,160 We can't control ourselves. This is really turning me on, Laura. 161 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:54,720 Yeah, well, tidy up this shithole and get your cock out. 162 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,600 This is so naughty, keep talking. 163 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,600 I shouldn't be thinking all these things about you. 164 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,320 Like what? You're useless. You're a waste of time. 165 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:06,160 You're gonna fail all your exams, you thick bastard. No wonder Dad left. 166 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,720 What? Laura, you sound like my real mum. 167 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:12,480 I'm not Laura, I'm Gill. Gill's my mum's name. 168 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,320 Yeah, exactly. No, don't be my actual mum. 169 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:19,360 I don't fancy my real mum. You've taken it too far. He's gone soft now. 170 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,880 Ohh! Well, at least I'm trying! 171 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:25,480 If I don't turn you on, Gary, just come out and say it. 172 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:29,520 It's time for drastic measures. No, Laura! You do turn me on, Laura! 173 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,880 SIGHS 174 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,520 Are you still putting a hot wash on? 175 00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:39,800 BELL TINKLES 176 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:43,840 Free of charge, because you're making a difference 177 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:47,560 One espresso, please? I'm hearing you. One espresso. 178 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:51,040 One espresso. Oh, hi, Meg. What up, biatch? 179 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,760 What up, you bitch. So, can anyone get a free coffee or...? 180 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,600 Oh, only those supporting charities. In this case, 181 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:01,520 the fight against bipolar disorder. Why fight it I say? I'm hearing you. 182 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:02,853 I've got an uncle with bipolar, 183 00:10:02,933 --> 00:10:05,560 he's a right laugh - but sometimes he does want to kill himself. 184 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:09,240 No, we all feel a bit like that sometimes, don't we, 185 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:13,280 before we've had our first coffee in the morning, am I right? 186 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:17,160 Mmm... 187 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,160 Do you fancy a latte? Yeah, do I? 188 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,320 Cos it's not like I don't like coffee, cos I do. 189 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:26,600 Death to decaf, that's what I say. Two lattes, there you go. 190 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,960 Cool cups. Why doesn't everyone use these? 191 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,880 Sit with me. GULPS 192 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,240 Oh, look at us, back together again, 193 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:40,840 you with your napkins and your franchise 194 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,360 and your bloody successful life. 195 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:47,400 Me with... PHONE BLEEPS 196 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,960 It's another batch of CVs from the agency. 197 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,640 I really didn't think it'd be this hard to find a new store manager. 198 00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:57,360 What skills might be required for such a position? 199 00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,360 You need to be very organised. Click. 200 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,600 Someone who's good at listening and taking things on board. 201 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,600 If I've listened to that and taken it on board correctly, 202 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:09,640 you need someone who's good at both listening and taking things on board. 203 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,040 The hardest thing is just finding someone 204 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:16,080 who can think outside the box. Cheese-accino. Er, coffee. 205 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:20,000 Frothy cheese. Chocolate sprinkles. Cheese-accino. 206 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,840 Sell 'em to the French. 207 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,760 BOTH LAUGH 208 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:28,280 God, it is so fun having you around. 209 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,398 Wait a minute, do you have you any previous 210 00:11:30,478 --> 00:11:32,320 hot beverage preparation experience? Me? 211 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:37,000 Shitloads. Yeah, yeah, tea, coffee, Ovaltine, Pot Noodle, 212 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,880 you name it, I've poured hot water on it, sister. 213 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:44,920 Why don't you come and work for me? Erm, let me just think about that. 214 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:46,560 Er.. Yes! 215 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:50,600 I'm hearing you. Obviously we can't completely bypass the interview. 216 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:52,738 But it's just be me asking the questions, 217 00:11:52,818 --> 00:11:54,680 and it's 90 percent personality anyway. 218 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:58,560 Personality? Ooh, has anyone around here got one of those? 219 00:11:58,600 --> 00:11:59,800 LAUGHS 220 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,760 Me. So what is your current notice period? 221 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,800 Er, just the time it takes me to text Malcolm. 222 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,300 Let's do this, biatch. Ah! 223 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:12,400 CLICKS AND WHIRS 224 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,520 What are you doing? 225 00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:17,920 No Instagram, so I am taking a photo of my food 226 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:21,240 and then I'm going to post it to some friends. 227 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,027 Once I pick it up from Snappy Snaps. 228 00:12:23,107 --> 00:12:25,280 Bunny, you sound like a technological dinosaur - 229 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,360 and you know what happens to them, don't you? 230 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,578 They stand in the living room talking to me? 231 00:12:30,658 --> 00:12:32,400 Do you even know how to use that phone? 232 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:36,240 You're thinking outside the box, I'm hearing you. Another latte, Meg. 233 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,120 Careful. You've been downing those all day. 234 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:42,880 Liquid research. What can I say? I've got a very mature palate. 235 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:46,760 And a really fast-pumping heart. And a headache. And I feel a bit sick. 236 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,440 Meg, you won't be able to sleep at this rate. 237 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:52,520 Yeah, I'm hearing you, but it's just Kate interviewing me 238 00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:56,560 so it's going to be a piece of piss. Me and K are like this... 239 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,760 Oh. Hmm... 240 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:05,440 GROANS 241 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,200 Are you trying to cross your fingers? 242 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:12,240 I think it might be the caffeine. 243 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:16,000 SHE SIGHS Thank you. 244 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:18,640 Like this. 245 00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:22,680 So, this is actual Viagra? 246 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:30,040 HE GULPS 247 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:33,640 RETCHES 248 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,960 I paid 25 quid for those, Gary - plus postage from Pyongyang! 249 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,549 I'm not seeing them go to waste. 250 00:13:38,629 --> 00:13:41,000 - I can't swallow big pills! - Oh, grow some bollocks. 251 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:45,320 It's a medical condition - and there's nothing you can take for it. 252 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:46,760 Right. 253 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:50,680 GUTTURAL GARGLING Swallow it, you pussy! 254 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,720 Agh! Oh! 255 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,960 Oh, for f... 256 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,000 When Mum wanted me to take big pills 257 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,320 she used to sprinkle them on ice cream. 258 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:03,360 Can we not bring your mum into this? 259 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:07,880 CRUNCHING 260 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:11,800 You hard yet? Not yet. 261 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:15,840 SHE SIGHS 262 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:22,800 I might need another bowl. 263 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,680 God, my feet are actually killing me. Are we nearly home yet? 264 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:30,040 Wait, where are we? 265 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,760 At my interview for Bean & Scone. It's "scoane". 266 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:36,360 Meg, this is extremely selfish, how am I supposed to get home? 267 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,640 Keep walking there? It's ten minutes. 268 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,160 How? You can't get home without the map on your phone, can you? No, 269 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,910 and I don't wanna use Daddy's credit card to get a cab. 270 00:14:44,990 --> 00:14:46,200 That'd be taking the piss. 271 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:50,080 Finally found it - the moral boundary. Wasn't sure there was one. 272 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,480 I suppose I'll just have to wait for you then. 273 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,920 SHE SIGHS God, I'm bored already. 274 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:58,960 Latte? Why not? 275 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:04,400 Mmm. You haven't slept, have you? Not a wink. 276 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:07,800 How's my breath? Have I got a furry tongue? 277 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,920 Megan Keswick, they're ready for you. Can I come with? 278 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:14,960 No, thanks. Already got enough friends in there. 279 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:19,400 Voila, bi... atch... 280 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:22,720 CLICKS 281 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:26,360 Megan, may I introduce you to the venture capitalists who control 282 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:30,040 90 percent of my company. As I said, it's just a formality. 283 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,760 Latte? We've been trying out the new machine. 284 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,000 Do I ever? 285 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:38,200 Mmm... Hmm... 286 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,720 Mmm. 287 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:43,840 Let me guess, Colombian roast? Peruvian blend. 288 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:47,760 Peruvian blend. Yep, that's what I thought it was. It's my favourite one. 289 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,720 Mmm... Mmm... 290 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:53,320 Mmm. 291 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:57,360 That is great. Now, Megan, you mentioned you had some previous experience 292 00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,960 of customer-facing commercial beverage preparation. 293 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,120 Please elaborate. 294 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:07,160 Yes, Kate. Well, er, I've had so much customer-facing 295 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:11,200 commercial beverage preparation experience, 296 00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:14,480 it's hard to choose just one. 297 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:18,520 As this is the first question, it's probably best if you did. 298 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:23,520 Great. Yeah, great. 299 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:24,920 Great. 300 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:28,960 NERVOUS LAUGH Great. Great... 301 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:35,000 Sorry, can you repeat the question? 302 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,440 BONE CLICKS Argh! 303 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,400 Oh, my ankle. 304 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,560 I think I need a doctor? 305 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,840 Let's try a different question. 306 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:54,880 What is the perfect ratio for a flat white? 307 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:03,240 Great. Great, yeah. 308 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:05,760 Great. 309 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:07,480 Aaaah! 310 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:11,520 Eeeee! 311 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:18,320 I can't use my phone. 312 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,080 Meg! GENTLE THUD 313 00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:24,160 Turds. GRUNTS 314 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,160 Meg, I can't get up. 315 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:30,200 It's just flat, and then a bit of white... It's just... 316 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,080 LAUGHS You're nervous, that's fine. 317 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:37,120 OK, Meg, the guys would like to see your coffee-making skills. Great. 318 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,120 Coffee. Here we go. 319 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,200 How do you take it? Milk? Sugar? 320 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:47,240 We'd like you to make a venti skinny three-pump peppermint decaf mocha. 321 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:51,040 One of those coming right up. 322 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,320 NERVOUS LAUGH 323 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:57,360 Oh, no, Meg. "Venti". 324 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:02,120 No, "venti". Oh, venti. 325 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,640 Which agency sent her? Personal recommendation. 326 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,600 A wobbly start, but I'm sure she knows what she's doing. 327 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:14,640 No, Meg, that's my Young Businesswoman of the Year Award. 328 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:24,120 Meg. Venti! The large ones on the right, sweetheart. 329 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,800 MUFFLED CRIES Meg, help! (Fuck off.) 330 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,440 My foot! 331 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:36,440 Meg? Yep, I'm hearing you. Large cups. 332 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,400 My foot. Meg! 333 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,560 LOUD HISS Fuck me, that's loud! 334 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,920 Okay, well, they've changed the model. 335 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:48,960 It used to come out of the other one. 336 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:58,040 LOUD HISS 337 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,800 Eight minutes and you're still going? This is a new personal best. 338 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:05,840 My ballsack's rock solid. I'm scared! 339 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:09,960 I'm gonna change position. My knees are blistering, Gaz. 340 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,880 Ohh! 341 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,680 Jesus, are you getting close yet? Not even a twitch. 342 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:18,720 After this I'm gonna bone you again and then again. Forever. 343 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:24,640 I'll just let it cool down for a moment. 344 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,440 Please, Gaz... When will it end...? 345 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:34,040 Ah, ah, I'm sorry. 346 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,280 Maybe we should get the laptop? 347 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,480 Not a chance. Forget it! 348 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:42,398 You've ruined our sex life, Gaz, with your internet grot. 349 00:19:42,478 --> 00:19:43,520 We've tried everything. 350 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:48,080 Agh... Right, you're going on a porn diet whether you like it or not. No. 351 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:53,200 And I'm taking this. No, not the router! 352 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:57,240 And this. Call me when you're at half-mast. No. Noooo! 353 00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:02,360 Okay. LOUD HISS AND LIQUID SPILLS 354 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:08,920 Mmmmm. 355 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:13,280 Were you just sick? Wasn't. Haven't done a sick. 356 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,840 She was. I saw it. She was sick in that cup. 357 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:19,880 I think we should stop the interview. No! Meg, were you sick? 358 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,000 No, it's just frothy milk. 359 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,600 Look, I trust Meg 100 percent. 360 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,600 I've known this girl since school, she wouldn't lie. 361 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:32,640 If she says she wasn't sick in that cup, she wasn't sick in the cup. 362 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:36,920 I wasn't sick in the cup. 363 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:43,760 SHE GULPS 364 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:48,920 She was sick in the cup. 365 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,840 We will be in touch. No, you won't. 366 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,600 Meg! Help me! What the fuck? 367 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,120 Oh, hi, Meg. Do you know her? 368 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,200 No. Meg! 369 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:03,240 She's bipolar. Did you forget to take your meds, you mental cunt? 370 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,600 MEG GROANS 371 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:11,365 Kate, we need to have a dialogue about this. Yeah, okay. 372 00:21:11,445 --> 00:21:12,640 Meg, will you just get out? 373 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:17,400 Yeah, doing that now, Kate, mate. I'll LinkedIn you, yeah? 374 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,760 Oh, Meg. 375 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:25,800 I don't think my life could get much worse. 376 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:30,680 Well, this is an improvement. Er, girls, please. Sorry, "ladies". 377 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,360 I mean "humans". 378 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,691 The important point is, your outfits now no longer objectify women. 379 00:21:37,771 --> 00:21:38,400 You're welcome. 380 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,520 I am single-handedly moving gender equality 381 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,880 in the promo distribution industry into the 20th century. 382 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,840 21st century. Well, baby steps. 383 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:50,600 Shame on you! 384 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,280 Right now, hang on a minute. Excuse me? 385 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,920 This is hilarious. CLICKS 386 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,400 Phone's back on, then? Oh, yeah, good news. 387 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,280 Dad wasn't ringing about the credit card after all, 388 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,400 turns out my auntie's died, thank God. 389 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,360 How's Gary's penis? Dieting. 390 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:11,160 So I take it you didn't get the job then, Meg? Nope. It's cool though, 391 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:15,200 Yes. 392 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,520 Even if you were dressed as a johnny? Yeah. 393 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,960 Well, good, cos she's here now. 394 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:25,840 Kate! Kate. Biatch! 395 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:29,720 Ah, she obviously hasn't seen me. Biatch! 396 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:33,000 Kate, it's me. Biatch! It's me. 397 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,000 Literally a massive dick. 398 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,760 Kate. Biatch! Biatch! 399 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:41,800 # Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, he's a regular boy 400 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:46,560 # Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, he's a regular boy 401 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,600 # He's the best boy in the town 402 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,160 # He's good at bowling, man 403 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:56,200 He's the best boy in the town, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 404 00:22:56,250 --> 00:23:00,800 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 32373

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.