All language subtitles for Downward Dog s01e05 Trashed.eng

Sometimes, I feel like Nan and I

are almost like different species.

And in some ways, that's great.

If I was with someone just like me,

it would be this constant,
like, "Oh, who's handsomer?

Who's smarter?

Like, who tells the best jokes?"

Aah!

Whoo!

And with Nan, there's not
any of that competition.

Hey, I almost died alone again.

You wouldn't eat me if I
died in the house, would you?

Would you?

But part of being different

means that there are
aspects of each other

that, like, we'll never understand.

Like, Nan exists in this very naive,

idealistic kind of neverland.

She's so innocent.

"Can you tell me where to
catch the 2 train to Brooklyn?"

That's not...

"Is this the 2 train to Brooklyn?"

That's... That's the one.

But me, I'm just edgier

and less ruled by societal norms.

For instance, part of me has always

just really, really liked trash.

Just, like, getting into it.

And I actually like that about myself.

Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh! No!

But Nan is so uptight and pious

that she feels the need to act

like it's disgusting or something.

And that makes me worry
about our base compatibility,

you know?

Oh, buddy.

Oh, I know. You can't come
to New York, though, okay?

I wish you could, but
you can't. You can't come.

Come on out. Come on, buddy.

And, of course, when Nan
starts packing up to leave,

I have to put on this
whole show of being like,

"Oh, my God! Don't leave!
It's gonna crush me!"

But in reality, I get kind of excited

because I know I'll get
to explore some things

and, like, have a little fun for once.

Hello?

Hey. Oh, great. Hi. You're here.

Listen, Jason, how do I look?

Like, do I... do I look
like New Yorky? Like...

Uh, well, saying "New Yorky"
isn't helping your cause.

Okay, Jason, um, I have, like,

the biggest presentation
of my life in six hours.

So maybe you could just like...

I just want, like, pure
support. That's all I want.

You look... very New Yorky.

And they're gonna love you.

And then, you're gonna abandon
all us lowly Pittsburghers.

- Okay.
- And take Martin from me.

All right, you're being,
like, super-dramatic right now.

But also, super-sweet.

So thank you.

Okay.

[Sighs] Mommy's gotta
go! She's gotta go!

Ooh, I love you, and I miss you.

Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!

- Ooh, you're gonna like this.
- Hmm?

I'm gonna be going on an adventure

of my own while you're
gone... in virtual reality!

Oh, gross. Can you
just... Will you clean up?

They're not just
for porn anymore.

It's called "Moons of Deimos."

It's sick, it's interactive,
it's multiplayer.

- And I'm gonna play with all my buds...
- Wow, okay.

You make it really easy to
be just friends sometimes.

- [Laughs]
- All right, I am gonna go.

Oh, listen, um, I forgot
to take the trash out.

So can you take it out?
'Cause the truck comes today,

and if it stays there all
week, it's just gonna reek.

And, oh, the latch outside,
remember, the latch is kinda...

It catches a little bit,
so be careful with it.

Okay. Go!

- I'm going!
- We'll be fine!

Bye-bye! I love you!
Dog... I love the dog!

Bye! Okay, thank you!

- Hey.
- Hey.

You're gonna do great.

Yeah. Yeah, totally.

Okay.

[Cellphone chimes]

_

Uh-oh. Are you getting
selfies from your ex?

Wait. Are things back on?

No. No.

I mean... look around.

Like, can you imagine Jason here?

He'd feel more comfortable
in, like, a fictional moon.

Hey, guys. Badges.

- Rigatoni Boy!
- [Thump]

[Groans]

Here you go.

Oh. Thank you. What just happened?

Oh, nothing. It's just guy stuff.

You wouldn't understand, Nan. [Chuckles]

Kevin, that guy just assaulted you.

Okay, look.

I did a commercial when I was a kid

where I got hit in the
tats with a baseball

and then I tried some of Mama
Carnisi's delicious rigatoni,

and it made it all better, okay?

That's it. I don't know
why people find it so funny.

- Rigatoni Boy!
- Hey, there he is.

Ha! You!

[Both laugh]

- This guy.
- Hi. I'm Roberto.

- Nan: Hi.
- We're ready for you upstairs.

Okay. Great.

- [Thump]
- Oooooh!

Time to enter a whole
different reality, dude.

I mean, I've had garbage
binges that were honestly,

like, personally
transformative sensory journeys.

Like, they changed me.

There's just the combination
of, like, the sweet and the salty

and the rot and the umami

and, like, the dirt from the hallway

just, like, dusting the pad Thai.

I mean, one time, like,

one time, there was a diaper in there.

The food just tastes so alive...
like, sometimes, literally.

And Nan's always like, "Oh,
my God. It's so dangerous.

You'll get sick and
die. Blah, blah, blah."

And I'm like, I do it
because it's dangerous.

The danger makes me feel alive.

[Brakes squeal]

Oh, crap! [Groans]

[Whines]

I mean, it's not like I
have to get in the trash.

It's just, like, no one likes it

when you're looking forward to something

and somebody just
comes and rips it away.

It's just rude.

- You ready, bro?
- Oh, got ya, Drew.

- Call me Dorgon in here.
- Got ya, Dorgon.

Especially when I already
have the taste in my mouth.

Because once I get a
taste, I can't stop until...

until I've been satisfied.

[Indistinct conversations]

[Conversations stop]

The table is huge.

And you get to sit right up front.

Good to see you.

Um, I'm just... I'm gonna... I'm just...

I'm gonna use the
restroom just for a minute.

I'll be right back.

Oh, my God. This is so stupid.

[Sighs]

Hey. Are you all right?

I don't think I can go back in there.

I mean, those... those
people are all, like,

they're so perfect
and... and, like, clean,

and I'm... I was the
weird little poor kid

whose mom ran off with
the dentist, you know?

I don't even know what I was thinking.

Why did I think I could even...

Ow!

Dude, ow!

Look, you are brilliant.

And you're very smart, and you
are extremely clean, okay?

And it's because of all the
stuff that you went through

that you have anything
interesting to say.

So just... get it together, okay?

And let's get back out there.

- Yes?
- Yes. Yes.

- Are you good?
- I'm good, yes.

Okay. Good.

Thank you for punching me in the boob.

Oh, my God. So welcome. Anytime.

I am very excited to be
pitching you guys something

that truly skates to where the puck is

when it comes to minimal
world-class product integration.

Not sure where my team is right now.

Whew! It's hot in here. Is it not hot?

I'm kinda hot.

Oh! Thank God!

All right, I'm gonna give
the floor over to... to Nan.

Hi, everyone. I apologize.

I was actually in the bathroom

feeling insecure and undeserving,

which, as it turns out, is
how most of America feels.

But I think we can help that...
uh, even just a little bit.

Let's get started.

Uh, Jenn, Rigatoni Boy...

[Laughter]

...this is my dog, Martin.

And this is where our
whole campaign started.

[Engine idling]

Martin: I'm sure when Jason the
traitor stole the garbage from me,

he thought he would get, like,
bedroom-giggles time with Nan.

But in reality, like,

he opened a whole new
world of trash to me.

It's just at some
point, enough is enough.

Like, I'm tired of hiding who I am.

By living in the shadows,
like, I've actually been

buying into her Puritanical narrative

that trash is bad and
unhealthy and shameful.

I'm not hiding anymore.

Like, there's a big, beautiful,
trashy world out here,

and I'm gonna taste every
fetid, moldy scrap of it.

- To Nan.
- To Nan!

Yeah!

Whoo!

I don't want to speak
too soon, but I feel like

this is the direction
we'll be going this fall.

Oh! You're almost like a young me.

But Tristen's never
bought one of your ideas.

I hate you.

[Both laugh]

To Nan! Come on!

Every time I'm here, it blows my mind.

Just...

all these lives just stacked
on top of each other, you know?

Millions and millions of them.

I feel like your whole
life has been building up

to some kind of Woody Allen montage,

that begins right now, on this rooftop.

[Laughs]

I don't think we're allowed to
reference Woody Allen anymore, actually.

Ohh, yeah.

I forgot that everyone
was horrible for a moment.

[Cellphone chimes]

Oh, no! Ugh!

I have to have dinner
with Dan's parents,

- who just came in from the Hamptons.
- Mm.

Are you gonna be okay
if I just abandon you?

- Um...
- [Men chanting "Rigatoni Boy!"]

- You know what? I'll walk you out.
- Yep. Okay.

I'd hate to spend the
night with these douchebags

when I could be out enjoying
a crisp, New York fall day.

[Horns honk]

["Rhapsody in Blue" plays]

Martin: The thing is,
like, trash makes me happy.

If something makes me happy,
like, how can it be wrong?

[French accent] Excuse me.

Is this the 2 train to Brooklyn?

[Chuckling] Oh, my God!

I have no idea,

but I am so flattered
that you asked me, so...

- Wow. Thank you.
- Thanks.

Hey, good luck.

[Laughs] Wow.

[Music stops]

Sometimes, I get confused.

Sometimes, I overanalyze

and I take simple, simple problems

and I turn them into
these mazes of insecurity.

But sometimes, my purpose is clear.

[Music resumes]

Like, it was all just teeth and hunger

and the juice of old meat.

I was just fully me.

And the sad thing is, I'm
sure if Nan saw me right now,

she would start nagging about,
like, how dirty and gross I am.

But, like, at this point,

I don't even care what
she thinks of me anymore.

Nan will never understand
the wonder of trash.

And maybe she'll never
understand me,

but that's her loss.

Like, I know who I am.

I'm an animal.

I'm a filthy trash animal.

Watch me roar.

Hold on. Time out for a
sec, bro. Martin, you good?

- Drew: What were you saying, dude?
- Oh, sorry, man.

- No, it's just that, like...
- Sometimes,

I feel like we have this
rare kind of connection,

but at the same time, I just
can't be something that I'm not.

And she doesn't want what I am.

I get it, dude, but
you gotta be you.

I know.

But me is someone who wants her.

Look, I think you need to cut
it off, even platonically.

Set yourself free.

Yeah, I think I need to
stop devaluing myself.

Honestly, man, I feel like sometimes,

she just doesn't respect me.

[Camera clicks]

_

_

_

_

_

It was all kind of a blur.

But as I dug deeper and
deeper into the garbage,

it was, like, I just...
I just kept going.

It's like I wasn't even
enjoying it anymore,

but it was like this compulsion.

Like, I kept eating

until I physically couldn't fit
any more trash down my throat.

And the craziest thing is that, like,

some part of me still thought
the trash held the answers...

that maybe there was
some different, like,

more extreme form of trash

that would make me
feel okay about myself,

even just for a few minutes.

But then, I guess...

I guess I passed out.

Because all these memories
came flooding back to me...

[Puppies whining]

...things I had forgotten or repressed.

Like, my mom was there and
my brothers and sisters.

And I remembered, "Right,"

like, "This is why I like trash so much.

Because I'm a trash dog
from a line of trash dogs."

And maybe all this time,
Nan did know the real me.

Like, maybe that gate was
left open for a reason.

Why would anyone want to be
with a trash dog, like me?

Good girl!

[Indistinct conversation]

[Laughter]

[Gasps] Oh.

Hey.

Weren't you in the park?

[Laughing] Yeah, I was.

It's... bizarre. What a small world.

- Hello.
- Hey.

Can we help you with something?

This is the girl I
was telling you about.

The one who was taking pictures of us?

I'm not stalking you.

I-I saw you guys,

and I followed you... to your house.

Which, saying out loud, I realize now

that's definitely what stalking
is, so I was stalking you.

[Laughs nervously]

I mean, you two remind
me of me and my ex,

and I just... I-I really...

I wanted to see what kind
of house you lived in.

I am so sorry.

I'm just gonna... leave you to it.

I'm sor... Are you...
Are you guys happy?

Uh, what?

I know that's really weird,
and I'm not trying to be creepy.

I just...

I just really want to know
if this could work for us.

Me and this guy.

Not like us...
like us, the three of us.

You seem very nice, and I hope
everything works out for you,

but we're gonna go inside right now.

That's absolutely
understandable. Thank you.

Sorry about that.

Did either one of you have to
make any compromises, though,

to make it... to make it work?

[Sighing] All right.

Pshew.

Martin: I know I say this all the time,

but today was the worst day of my life.

[Raccoon chitters]

But when I woke up, I just knew.

I knew I had to get back to Nan.

It's so real!

Oh, Martin.

You'd love it here.

There's so many birds!

[Gearshift clicks]

[Car door closes]

Martin: I realize that
some people might say, like,

Nan's this amazing, talented,
beautiful, smart person

whose hair smells like
flowers all the time.

Like, why would she
ever want to be with me?

[Footsteps approach]

And I don't know how
to answer that question,

but the beautiful thing
is, as soon as I saw her,

I remembered, "Oh, yeah. Of course.

Nan is crazy about me."

Like, no matter what mistakes I make,

it's almost like I can never
do anything to lose her love.

Martin?

- Hey!
- Huh?

Martin was outside!

- What?
- Look at him! He's filthy!

Oh, my God. I-I...

When I had the goggles on, I
thought that he was on the sofa.

I'm... I'm... I'm so sorry.

I cannot believe I was about to
walk in here and ask you to...

- Ask me what?
- Nothing. Never mind. It doesn't matter.

Look, hey, hey, I messed up. I'm sorry.

Jason, Martin could've died!

You are such a child
sometimes. It's unreal.

I-I said I'm sorry! I-I
don't know what else to say!

You know, people make mistakes.

When do you not
make mistakes, Jason?

I asked you to be a grown-up
for one day...

one single day.

I feel like such an idiot

for thinking you could pull that off.

Wow, that's...

You know what?

You shouldn't say
things like that to me.

I'm gonna... I'm gonna get my things.

And, um...

I'm gonna go.

And, um...

I'm, um...

I'm not gonna come back.

You know what? I hope that's
the first plan you ever stick to.

Sorry, man.

[Door slams]

Martin: I think so often,

I forget the really, really
obvious things in life.

Because I don't think it's
all that hard to be happy.

I...

I think you just have to be grateful.

Like, you have to
remember to be grateful

for what's right in front of you.

Because me and Nan are
really, really different.

Like...

Like, we're like 60% compatible at best.

And, like, we have these huge
issues we have to work out.

But, like, when you're
always running around

looking for what's
wrong with everything,

you just... you just end up miserable.

Yeah, like, I'm a trash dog,
and she's, like, a fancy lady,

but we have each other,
and that's what's important.

We're not alone.

And for that...

for that, I'm honestly
really, truly grateful.

Sometimes, I feel like

maybe the reason we don't
have the right answers

is because we haven't really
been asking the right questions.

One thing I've always
wanted to ask is just, like,

"What if we never got
out of bed?" Like, ever?

Why are we so convinced it would be bad?

[Ringtone plays]

Like, that might... that
might solve everything.

Or we could not try my suggestion

and we could just, like, keep
getting out of bed every day

expecting somehow to
achieve a different result...

even though that's the
actual dictionary definition

of "insanity."

I mean, I don't know.

Maybe it's worth a try.

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