All language subtitles for Doogie Howser MD s03e24 Club Medicine.eng

This film is not considered
the French new wave.

It's kind of post-new wave

seasoned with a dash
of Neo-romanticism.

What do you mean?

Well, I mean there's
multiple nudity

in the first 20 minutes.

But it's done very artfully.

I hope it's better
than the last foreign film

you dragged us to.

I admit I blew it,

but Hungarians were never
known for joie de vivre.

At least we learned
the gypsy cushion dance.

One, please.

I need to see I.D.

What for?

No one under 17 admitted.

It's all right. I'm 18.

Humor me.

I want to see the manager.

I am the manager.

Mr. powerful.

Vin, it's o.K.

Show him your I.D.

Read it and weep.

O.K.

One adult for you, sir?

You don't card him?

Like he's got graying temples.

Vincent, calm down.

Calm down?

This is discrimination against
the vertically challenged.

We know you're an adult.

Do you have to go
to the bathroom?

Poor, Vinnie.

Two, please.

One adult, one senior citizen?

Excuse me?

Senior-citizen discount...
2 bucks off.

Well, I happen to be
56 years old.

Right. Senior citizen...
55 and older.

You just sneaked in
under the wire

or over the w...
Um, $12.

Well, that's
an unexpected bonus,

isn't it, dear?

I'll pay full price.

But you save 2 bucks.

I said I'll pay full price.

O.K.

David, don't be depressed.

I'm not depressed.

Katherine, I'm not depressed!

Age isn't about decay.

It's more like a ripening.

You know what they say...

The older the fiddle,
the sweeter the tune.

Now I'm depressed.

Then she takes him
back to her hotel room

where they have
mad, passionate...

Conversation.

Then she slips something
in his drink, right?

When he wakes up,

he's tied to the chair

and there's a small incision
in his side,

and his left kidney's
been stolen.

That is totally ridiculous.

No. It happened.

There's a huge black market
for primo organs.

It's medically impossible, vin.

It's an urban legend

like the maggots
in the beehive hairdo.

Hey, I know the girl
that happened to.

Actually she's a friend of
my cousin's maid of honor.

It's that time of year again.

The wilderness calls us.

The annual "men bonding in the
wilderness" fishing trip.

Formerly the annual
"father-son" fishing trip.

It's time we faced a
more rigorous challenge.

Remember last year, doctor h.,

when I practically hauled
you up devil's peak?

Take a look at that.

"Experience the ultimate
adventure vacation.

"Join ex-marine sergeant
ironmike mescobi

"on a two-week
survival expedition

to the Alaskan wilderness."

There's seal tagging.

There's genuine dog-sled mushing

across 200 miles
of frozen tundra.

You even get to assemble
your own igloo.

Are eskimos included?

Um, dad, what's wrong
with fishing?

Oh, that's for old men
and young boys.

We'll have to be careful
of frostbite.

Fingers have been known
to just snap off

by a mere handshake.

Sounds like you two ought to be
shopping for winter woollies.

Have fun.

Say hello to big foot for me.

Talk about your fun vacations.

Howser, you are one lucky guy.

So, are you excited?

I guess.

I... i have always
wanted to see Alaska.

There's the pioneer spirit.

Of course,

I've always wanted
to see the Caribbean, too.

"Run the mighty Yukon river
in sealskin kayaks."

You know my credo, Katherine...

Life is a daring adventure

or nothing at all.

8:30 A.M. clinic day.

These people come from villages

all over Honduras,

some walking 40, 50 miles
through the jungle

to get to the hospital.

It's your usual
garden-variety of ailments...

Burns, broken bones,

crocodile bites.

What, you don't see any
crocodile bites in west L.A.?

These people need our help.

The bad news
is they need it for free,

but there's nowhere to get your
beemer detailed in Honduras, anyway.

Here we are in a 60-year-old
operating room.

The caseload means

there are two tables
working simultaneously.

Cross infection...

It's a very overstated risk.

Doctors who volunteer
for global med

typically perform
10 or more surgeries a day.

Afterward,

we're all raring
to sample the night life.

After all this hard work,
what's the thanks you get?

Can we have the lights on?

So, there it is, folks...

Your chance to make a dent
in a huge problem,

to take part in tough,
challenging operations

that some of you young residents
have only read about,

a chance to practice medicine

the way it was done
before the high technology.

In a sense,

it is a way to renew your vows.

Oh, one more thing...

There are no malpractice laws
in Honduras,

so we welcome even the most
incompetent among you.

The ama's very keen
to give you this award.

If you could stay...

Awards... it's not me.

Might give me an ego,

and I'm already so damn perfect.

Excuse me, Dr. morse.

Buenos dias.

Disfrute mucho
de su presentacion.

What?

That's Spanish for I really
enjoyed your presentation.

Oh. Are you Spanish?

No. Um, I just speak
Spanish fluently.

I really think you're
doing a wonderful job.

I can't think of
a more worthy cause.

I want to be part of it.

I want to renew my vows.

You're a doctor?

Yes.

Dr. howser graduated
top of his class

from medical school at 14.

Cool.

Huan ying ni dao women dui lai, Dr.
howser.

That's Chinese for...

Welcome to the team.

It's called San Carlos.

It's a farming village 60 miles
from the Nicaraguan border.

The population's 1,200
not counting mosquitoes.

Snake-bite kit?

That's just a precaution, mom.

"Contains bite book, suction cups,
razors, and extractor pump."

Sounds like a fun date.

Sure this is safe?

Well, I'll be
surrounded by doctors.

Guess this saves you
from the sled dogs.

You're jumping out of the
igloo into the frying pan.

Dad, I'm really sorry
about our fishing trip.

I really want to do this.

We can always go
to Alaska next year.

You understand it's important.

I'm proud of you.

It's an exciting opportunity.

Sounds like something you'd
have jumped at in your day.

In my day?

Well, you know,
when you were younger

and brimming
with idealism and vim.

I still have vim.

I'm full of vim.

I could show
those young hotshots

a few things about working
in primitive conditions.

I did my stint in Vietnam.

Dad, if you're serious,
we could use you.

Nah. It's probably too late.

Doogie, is it too late?

We need the help.

Well, I mean, it is a challenge.

I'd have to rearrange
my schedule.

Oh, but you know how
your mother worries.

Don't worry about me.

Vinnie will help fill
those lonely hours.

Right, Vinnie?

You know
what I always say, son...

Life is a daring adventure
or nothing at all.

Gracias.

Gracias.Gracias.

Vaya todo bien!

Adios.

I thought that trip
would never end.

That bus smelled
something between

a subway and a petting zoo.

I gave my seat up to a goat,

although she was pregnant.

I wonder where everyone is.

They're probably in surgery.

There's no loafing around here.

This is serious business.

Oh, hey, are you
the new doctors?

Keith says if you want
to freshen up,

he'll see you in a while.

I'm so excited.

I can't wait to get to work.

Well, first things first.

You ready?

Hit me.

Yeah! What a bun!

Hey, why so modest, guys?

Welcome to San Carlos,
gentlemen.

Everybody, these are
the doctors howser.

You may indeed see
a family resemblance.

I'd shake your hands,
but I make a rule

never to shake hands
with a naked man.

I suppose we passed
the initiation ceremony.

With flying colors. Ha ha ha!

Well, clinic's not for
another couple of hours,

so you're welcome to join us
for mint tea cocktails

on the veranda. That's the
shady area behind the latrine.

Thank you. We're delighted.

Welcome!

Well, Toto, I get the feeling

we're not in Kansas anymore.

Uh, ?quien sigue?

Mami, tengo calor.

Digame lo que quiere.

No se preocupe.

Esta en buenos manos.

Podemos ayudarle.

Va a necesitar cirugia.

Por favor, registrase
con la enfermera alla.

Su chica.

That is the third case
of impetigo.

These people just don't
understand public health.

Nor immunization nor
hydrocele nor encephalitis.

I mean, it's endless.

How will we treat them all?

Just take one case at a time.

No one's expecting miracles.

Hola.

?Como se llama?

Se llama Rosa.

Se quemo con una lampara
de kerosena.

Hola, Rosa.

No se preocupe.

Podemos ayudarle.

O, gracias.

Gracias a usted, doctor.

How's it going, doctor?

Drumming up any business?

Nasty burn case here.

Perfect skin-graft candidate.

Mm-hmm. Tell her
to come back next month.

What?

We don't have time.

I know this will
eat up doctor hours,

but it's a disfiguring injury.

You want to perform
this surgery?

O.K., then tell the next eight
people in line to go on home.

It's tough,

but you've got
to pick and choose.

This child's in no pain.

There's no
functional impairment.

Next month, if there's time.

Come on.

Lo siento, se?ora,

pero no los pedemos atender hoy.

Por favor, usted regresa
El mes que viene.

Lo siento mucho.

Sponge stick.

Here you are, doctor.

Human anatomy for $500.

A wormlike organ once
believed to aid digestion.

Occasionally redundant,
swollen, and gangrenous.

The appendix.

It's the appendix.

Anybody?

What is the appendix?

Good, David.

Remember to phrase those answers

in the form of a question.

We'll be back in a minute
for final jeopardy.

The category is... bing!

The colon.

How's it going
over there, doogster?

I've exposed the hernia sac

and reduced the bowel out of it.

You might want to
put him to sleep now.

Sponge.

What the hell's going on?

Please, David, I'm married.

There will be a blink.

Then the emergency
generator goes on.

Unless that was
the emergency generator,

in which case we all
stop what we're doing

and start slow dancing.

There you go.

That's a relief.

I don't have the energy
for a waltz.

Do you, David?

Can you give me more exposure?

A little more.

Sorry.

Take a break.

I'm fine.

You've been on your feet
nine hours.

You don't have to be
a hero. That's my job.

You're just jet lagged.
It's no big deal.

Well, maybe I will
take a moment.

Suzanne, can you take over here?

Sure.

Ah, thank you.

Whew.

What do you say, folks?

It's been a long day.

Why don't we all take
a seventh-inning stretch?

For god's sake, be quiet!

Where's your respect
for these people?

This humor's out of place.

Sorry.

Here you are.

The purse-string suture, doctor?

Shh!

Dr. howser's on edge.

If it's an absolute emergency,

you can pass me a note.

I'm done here.

Will you close up?

Sure.

Saline irrigation, please.

That is it!

I cannot work with that man.

Who?

Who? Groucho Marx.

The clown prince of surgery.

He's... he's turned that
operating room into a circus.

Why am I talking to you?

You were pitching in with them.

Some people find clowning around

an effective way
of handling stress.

Well, I find it unprofessional.

Of course, they're still in
there performing surgery,

and you've burned out in a
bright flame of indignation.

I let them get to me.

My mistake.

I should be above that.

Why should you be above that?

Oh, because you're
a dedicated physician,

and they're not?

You're saying I'm being
too hard on them.

No. There's someone else
you're being too hard on.

Your whole career,

you've been a kid
in an adult world,

and you've worked very hard
to overcome that,

but now circumstances
have changed.

You don't have to prove
you're an adult anymore, son.

You are one.

In other words, lighten up.

Well, at least accept
that being an adult

means giving yourself permission

to behave in
a childlike way sometimes.

Your abilities
are going to take you

into some very
pressure-filled places,

and a guy like morse
could teach you a few things

about handling
that kind of pressure.

Believe me,

you will have a much longer

and happier career.

I would give a lot of my genius

for a little bit of your wisdom.

Sorry, kid.

The only way to get wise

is to live a long,
long, long time.

Thanks, dad.

Thank you, son.

My dearest Katherine,

your old fiddle has new strings

and is playing
more sweetly than ever.

Ow.

I need a towel, please.

Here you go.

The prodigal surgeon returns.

Somebody want to get
the fatted calf

or the fatted chicken?

What's next?

Palate repair.

Well, she's in good hands then.

Nurse, can we log that?

At precisely 9:02 P.M.,

Dr. howser made
a completely spontaneous

and humorous gesture.

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