Original subtitles

Now, oh, no, I wouldn't do that, Doc.

You see, it says you may have won L1 million.

SCRAPING

What are you doing?

Admiral Grey.

Solid choice, though a little uninspired, if I may say so.

Still, Pauline said it was what was required.

Don't suppose there's any chance of a cuppa, is there?

No, there isn't.

Whoops.

Why is that man painting my house?

You did say the place was looking a bit shabby.

He's a proper painter - portraits and everything.

I've got paint on my shoe... Oh, it's on the carpet now!

Oh, it's only a little bit.

Any amount of paint on any carpet is bad! Clean it up!

Is that part of my job description?

Yes!

Oh! About time somebody thought about brightening up this place.

Shame it's such a small job. Not that much work about.

Well, actually, my kitchen could do with a fresh coat,

if you've got time.

Sure. I'll take a look later, if you'd like.

Oh, well, I'm Joan Norton. Haven House Farm, up by the cliffs.

It's a date, then.

Edward. Oh!

Ah... (Chuckles) Sorry.

(Laughs)

DOOR OPENS

Marty! I presume this is about a repeat prescription.

Uh, no, it's not, actually.

I've had the results of your bone density scan.

Oooh, is this, er...is this new?

Nope.

Er, unfortunately, this confirms that you do have osteoporosis.

Have a seat.

Now, you'll need a higher dose of oestrogen

than you're currently getting from the tablets,

and I'd say the best way to proceed would be an oestrogen implant.

Right.

It's a relatively simple procedure. I can do it here in the surgery.

The implant itself's no bigger than a grain of rice.

It's inserted in the skin of the abdomen.

Well, what if I don't want an implant?

Well, then your bones will become

increasingly weak and prone to breaks.

I really think that the implant is your best option.

Right.

Well...let's do it now, then.

DOOR OPENS

Aunty Joan, if you have any irritation or side effects,

then don't hesitate...

Don't fuss.

Mmm.

Is she OK?

See you later on, then, Joan.

Aunty Joan, I can print off some leaflets that you might...

Martin, it has already been a long day.

Dr Ellingham, what do you think? Hmm?

I'm outside. Right.

Panic attacks under control? That's good doctoring, that.

This is for you.

Birthday party. We're having it at the Wilson Hotel this Friday.

Not so much a birthday party as a line-up.

I see them, they get to see me, everyone knows where they stand.

I'm busy.

Say no more.

DOOR CLOSES

How often have you had blurred vision?

Well, it's only happened the once, in the shower,

but I noticed a tingling in my hands the other day.

A tingling. Both hands, or just one?

Both. It was definitely both.

I think I know what's wrong with me. What?

I think it's the beginning of multiple sclerosis.

Oh, don't tell me - you looked that up on the Internet.

Well, yes, I did, actually, but...

A tingling sensation in one hand

could be taken as a symptom, not both.

Your optic discs would be pale if you had MS. Yours aren't.

You're certain?

I could check it on the Internet if you'd like.

But my symptoms... Are the onset of middle age.

Oh, my God, that's...

You have no idea how scared I've been.

I mean, I've only just got my life back after Steven left,

and then, well, this happened.

But if you're certain everything's OK, then, well, thank you, doctor.

Yes, now, if you don't mind, I have patients who might actually be ill.

Right.

Oooh, Princess Tinkle.

Hello. Hey, baby.

Say hello to the doctor.

This is Princess Tinkle. She's a show dog.

Not in my surgery, thank you. Dogs are full of disease.

Oh. Come on, baby.

I don't suppose I could repay you by buying you lunch, could I?

No.

Oh. Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.

The Wilson Hotel. Carrie Wilson. The Wilson Hotel.

Bye-bye.

I'd watch that one if I were you, doc. Not as dumb as she looks.

Let's just say she got the goldmine, husband got the shaft.

Do that at home.

Oh, I do.

Oh! Shame.

Dad?

Dad, it's me!

SIREN YELPS

It's OK, mate. I live here.

Always make an entrance through the window, do you?

No, no, but, er... Well, I'm Al.

Sorry, who are you?

Put your hands on the car. Hey, hang on, mate! Hang on!

I'm PC Penhale, Al,

and so far, I've got you on trespassing and attempted break-in.

Let's not add resisting arrest to the list.

No, no, I'm Al Large.

Bert's son. You know Bert, don't you?

Bert Large doesn't live here. What? Yes, he does.

No, he lives on the other side of the village.

Are you sure you're his son?

Oh! Well, I've been away, ain't I? Travelling. Africa.

And they don't have phones in Africa? I call my dad twice a week.

Well, I been in the jungle, OK?

So, if you'll just tell me where my dad is,

then I can be off, moving along.

Fine. I'll give you a lift to his restaurant.

But I'm watching you.

His restaurant?

Hmm.

CAR ENGINE STOPS

CAR DOOR SLAMS

PIANO MUSIC PLAYS ON RECORD PLAYER

KNOCKING AT DOOR

EDWARD: Hello?

Oh, it's you. Come in. (Sighs)

Right, well...

Something summery. They do a lovely Sunrise Yellow.

It'll all end up all smudged and dirty.

Ah. The existential approach to decorating.

Believe me, I find discussing colour schemes as boring as you do.

Not exactly what I went to art school for.

You know what, Joan?

MAGAZINE DROPS

I'd like to paint you. A portrait.

The last thing this world needs is a picture of me.

Something...neo-classical.

No.

Maybe you just don't see yourself as you really are.

Get out!

I...I didn't mean to...

No, I know exactly what you meant.

How much do you charge? $100? $200?

It was gonna be a gift.

It's been a while since I've had someone sit for me that...

I'm so sorry!

(Sniffs) I'm being stupid.

I think it would be best if you left now.

Yes, because the chivalrous thing

would be to run away the moment a lady starts crying.

Oh! I know, I know, I'm sorry about the wait.

Your food will be here directly. Two shakes of a lamb's tail.

Al! Hello, Dad.

Here you are, boy! Oh!

Well, you should've called, eh? Let me know you were coming back.

Well, I wanted to surprise you, didn't I?

Well, you could've called any time, you know, I mean... Oh!

Not that I was worried about my only son

taking off halfway across the world.

I deserve that. I mean, I should've written. I should've called.

Oh! Folly of youth, eh?

Mmm.

This really all yours, is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Every...every last pot and pan.

And you gave up plumbing, just like that?

Well, this is the dream now, boy.

Bert! Yeah?

Got orders ready to go.

Oh, you remember Mick, don't you?

He was at school with you. Bert.

Well, go on, then.

That's my son, that is. That's my boy.

LIVELY MUSIC PLAYS ON RECORD PLAYER

Aunty Joan?

RHYTHMIC CREAKING

Aunty Joan?

Arggh! Martin!

I've got those pamphlets I told you about.

Oh, God!

TYRES SQUEAL

Did I hit you? No, no, I don't think so.

It all happened so fast.

Are you OK? Oh, yes, yes, no, I'm fine.

Oh! I should've looked where I was going.

I had a feeling I might run into you again.

I didn't think it would be literally.

Gosh, do you two know each other?

Oh, is that my shopping? Thank you, er...

Louisa.

Of course. (Sighs)

Are you alright?

Oh, I do feel a little dizzy.

I've never been in an accident before.

Well, luckily it wasn't an accident,

because he didn't actually hit you, did he?

Yeah, it could be shock. Yes, that's possible.

Or just a fright.

There's a world of difference between getting a fright

and suffering from shock.

I almost feel a bit claustrophobic. Really?

Uh, Louisa, give her some space. Oh, sorry.

I mean, I'm sure I'm making a fuss about nothing, honestly.

Plenty of people almost get run over every day.

Maybe if it's not too much trouble, a lift home?

Yes, of course. Thank you.

Oh!

Go away.

I'll take that, thank you.

(Snores)

MICK: Like father, like son, eh?

He was worried about you, you know. You could've called.

(Huffs) It's none of your business, is it?

Well, he's been good to me.

Don't like to see him treated like that.

Or maybe he's a little bit blind when it comes to you.

Hey, listen, he's my dad, alright?

You just work for him, so don't get any big ideas, yeah?

That's a fair point.

Then again, I'm not the one sleeping on the sofa, am I?

I'll just be in my room.

Goodbye.

Um, would you help me in? I'm not feeling too steady.

It must be the shock.

Oooh, big hands.

Your pulse is strong and your hands aren't clammy. You're not in shock.

Oh, I see.

This must be very boring for you.

Well beneath your medical expertise.

Well, I...I don't know about that.

Well, thank you for the lift, anyway...

..Martin.

(Kisses)

(Knocks on window) Arggh!

It's Edward! He's having some sort of attack!

(Pants)

You've got to put something in his mouth!

Martin, he's going to swallow his tongue!

Mrs Wilson, will you please just leave me to do my job?

Oh, it's just Carrie.

(Pants)

Does he have a history of epilepsy? Oh, I don't really know him.

He's doing some painting and gardening for me

in return for room and board.

I think he's a vegetarian.

Can you hear me, Mr, uh... Melville.

..Mr Melville?

Oh, it's you.

Edward, you've had a seizure!

Has anything like this happened before?

No, no, never.

Hmm, well, your fitting's stopped,

but you'll still have to go to hospital for an EEG.

I'll call Joan. She can take me.

No, no, taxi'll be quicker.

Martin? I've brought you some eggs.

I can feel you glowering right across the village.

Aunty Joan.

Edward is fine. They've sent him home.

Any inflammation or irritation with your implant?

It's the age difference that bothers you, isn't it?

None of my business.

Look, I'm not happy to sit in front of the fire and watch time tick by.

Right.

My life is not over, and until it is, I intend to make the most of it.

OK.

Oh, Marty, for heaven's sakes, say something!

If you have a problem with my relationship, let's talk about it.

Well, I don't believe it's a real relationship.

Oh, and you'd know about that, would you?

I know that sex on the kitchen table with a man 50 years your junior

does not qualify as a real relationship.

Yes, I'm sorry that you saw that.

Well, must be that implant playing havoc with your hormonal balance.

Marty, this is not a medical problem!

He makes me happy.

He makes me...makes me feel...younger...

Oh, for God's sake, he's young enough to be your son!

Probably got some Oedipal complex or something,

which means he thinks you're his mother!

I know what it means, Martin.

I just question your right to criticise,

considering your relationship history.

It's not about me. Oh, isn't it?

Sometimes I think you want everybody to be

as lonely and miserable as you are!

I'm not lonely or miserable.

I am going to continue to see Edward.

It won't last forever, and it certainly isn't true love,

but it's what I want, so get used to it.

Osteoporosis and sexual intercourse on kitchen tables don't mix!

Can I help you?

Oh, hope so.

Do you have any cimetidine? I've got a bit of a funny tummy.

Oh, you'll have to ask Dr Ellingham

for a prescription for that, I'm afraid.

Oh, I should've asked Martin when I saw him yesterday,

only I was enjoying our chat so much, I forgot.

Dr Ellingham is conscientious about handing out prescriptions.

I can imagine. Not the sort of man to be railroaded.

He reminds me a little of my first boyfriend.

He was something of a rebel as well.

What do you think about this one? I think it's very pungent.

DOG BARKS

Is there anything else I can... Oh! No manners, either.

Good day!

Off she goes, reeking of cheap perfume.

Well, it takes all kinds.

What was that she was saying about her first boyfriend?

Well, I'm not much of a gossip, but I will say this.

Our doc would be well advised to avoid that one.

Why? What do you mean?

Even the bravest of souls can be distracted by the harpy's song.

Yes, but we're talking about the doc here.

All men are the same. They can't help it.

If it's thrown down on a plate in front of them,

they grab a knife and fork.

And you've definitely ordered me the one with the beige suede seat?

Good. And the orange matte helmet...

Hello there.

Um, I'm afraid the doc doesn't have any free appointments.

You'll have to come back tomorrow. Pauline.

No, I'm sorry, I'm not speaking to you.

Well, I thought I'd surprise you. You have.

So, you have a good time, did you? Suppose so. Too busy to call.

I phoned.

Once, first week, when you were drunk.

(Sighs)

Lost a bit of weight.

Yep, yep.

So, what are you doing back so soon, then?

Well, I just, er...

What?

Well...

..I missed you.

Oh, Al.

So, you can tell me all about it. Er, you see any lions?

Er, no lions, no. Elephants?

Er, no. Can I get a cup of tea? I'm a bit...

Yeah, alright, then you can give me my presents.

Al? Yeah.

Fine, yeah. Had a good time in Kampala.

Saw a lot of stuff. Came back.

Good.

Er, doc?

Yes?

You got a minute? Erm...yes.

I, er...I think I need some sleeping pills.

Why?

Well, I'm all turned around from the jetlag.

I mean, I sleep all day, and then I can't get to sleep at night.

You were in Uganda, weren't you?

That's only two or three hours ahead of us.

Three, yeah.

Well, there wouldn't be any jetlag.

Yeah, but I'm exhausted. It's...

Did you get ill while you were travelling?

No. No, doc, I had a great time.

Hung out on Lake Victoria, swimming...

PHONE RINGS ..er, barbecues, volleyball.

How come you haven't got a tan?

Er, well...yeah. OK.

Maybe that's because I, um... I didn't have that good a time.

Maybe that's because I spent the last two months

working in a bottle factory.

I see. 14-hour shifts, doc.

Sleeping rough. Lived on Mars Bars and Coca Cola.

My passport, my clothes, my cash - everything was stolen.

PHONE RINGS

I had to earn money just to get back here.

Well, that would explain why you're tired

and your sleeping patterns irregular.

So, you can give me something for it?

No, no. Just give it a couple of days, it'll all pass.

Emergency phone call for you, doc. Excuse me.

Ellingham.

Mrs Wilson...Mrs Wilson, slow down!

(Rings bell) Oh, in here.

I hope this is serious. Oh, it is serious.

It's my heart - it was pounding and fluttering

and I had shortness of breath.

Classic heart attack symptoms. Stop talking.

Yeah, your pulse is regular. Quite strong.

Well, it must have calmed down a bit.

Isn't that always the way when the doctor shows up?

No. Any other symptoms?

Not as such.

I must've panicked a little bit.

But seeing as you're here, maybe I can fix you a cup of coffee.

No! How many cups have you had?

Er, two, three - more if you count the espresso I had at breakfast.

Do I need to insult your intelligence by pointing out the connection

between caffeine consumption and your palpitations?

I have genuinely sick people who require genuine medical attention.

A simple 'no' would've done.

This is not a social call!

Well, nobody's stopping you from leaving.

Well, stop...talking.

(Laughs) Oh!

EDWARD: I made an appointment to see you tomorrow.

Hospital gave me the EEG. I hope you don't mind.

No. Goodbye.

Well, I suppose I'd better go too.

Stay with me.

I need looking after.

(Laughs) You're a grown man, Edward.

You can do without me for a couple of hours.

Shoo! Get off!

Sorry. I must've dozed off in front of the TV.

That's alright. I got you one in.

It'll be flat now, though.

So, what you gonna do now you're back?

Well, I got nowhere to live.

Dad's closed the business, so I've got no job.

So, I was thinking something like a millionaire playboy,

bit like Bruce Wayne.

Yeah, but he was Batman as well. Mmm.

Had to think of something. Mmm.

So?

So, maybe everybody should stop asking me so many bloody questions!

No need to take that tone with me, Al Large.

Sorry. I just meant that...

I'm out. Give me L1.

Oh.

Here you go.

Excuse me for wanting to talk to you.

I have missed you, you know.

Often found myself just thinking, "I wonder what Al's up to right now,"

so if I'm full of questions, it's only 'cause...

COINS CLATTER Oh, my God, Al.

I've only gone and won. Well, technically it's money, but...

Are you OK? You look a bit clammy.

Yeah, I'm fine, yeah.

Probably a spot of food poisoning from that bloody Mick Mabley.

Oh.

Hello! Door was unlocked.

Well, it shouldn't be. The surgery is closed.

Whatever illness it is you think you have

will have to wait till the morning.

Um, I'm actually here about your dog.

I don't have a dog.

That thing is not mine!

That isn't what I was told.

Out! Out, out, out, out!

Look, the problem is he's become a little too friendly with my dog,

and I'm no snob, but she IS pedigree after all, and...

Mrs Wilson, I'm not remotely interested

in the mating habits of your dog.

Oh, I'm sorry if I'm being a bit of a nuisance.

Well, you probably can't help it.

You really don't seem to care what people think, do you?

You're very refreshing.

Am I? Oh, yes.

Are you... Sorry, are you blushing?

No.

Um, are you going to PC Penhale's party tomorrow?

No, I'm not. Oh, that's a shame.

I was hoping we could get to know each other a little better.

I'd hate for you to think of me

as some sort of hysterical hypochondriac.

Right.

Well, maybe you'll change your mind.

I...I don't change my mind.

Definitely blushing, I'm afraid.

No, I'm just hot.

Oh, hello, Joe.

Sorry. PC Penhale.

Don't often see you drink in here.

Water.

Just posting myself here to check for underage drinkers.

So, are you coming to my party tomorrow night?

Still rounding up the RSVPs.

Yeah, I was... I was thinking about it.

I'm not a big fan of parties. Too many people.

Too many things can go wrong.

Still, should be fun, though. (Penhale chuckles)

Yeah.

JOAN: Oh, I really ought to get back to the farm.

Five more minutes. We can have ice-cream.

(Laughs) Those chickens won't feed themselves.

Oh, please!

Edward.

My mum used to say my name exactly like that when she was angry.

Right, well, I won't say it again, then.

I really don't mind.

Get out! Go on, go on, go on, get, get! Go!

How's old Mrs Norton?

She's fine.

What are you doing here?

Mr Melville's EEG result has arrived.

Door.

So, how are the brain activity results? Did they find any?

Take a seat.

Your EEG was negative.

Er... That's good.

Right. No sign of epilepsy.

But that doesn't explain your fit.

Fits.

There was another the other day.

Who's your GP?

Don't really have one. Sort of moved from place to place.

Are you on any medication?

No.

Any significant medical incidents in the last five years?

(Puffs) Oh, it's hard to remember, um...

Try.

OK, uh...

..about two years ago, I did suffer from depression.

Minor depression.

And there was also some erectile dysfunction.

Did you receive treatment?

No.

Do you still suffer from the same problem?

Well, there are no problems.

No problems downstairs at all.

I meant do you still suffer from depression?

Oh, well, my mother had recently passed away,

and, uh, these things take time, I suppose, but I'm better now.

Happy as Larry.

Just over two hours till this thing kicks off.

Of course, I need to see your fire safety certificates,

check the emergency exits.

Because?

Well, I'm expecting quite a large turn-out this evening.

Want to avoid any unfortunate tragedies.

Is that my last patient? PAULINE: Yeah.

Doc, um, I'm worried about Al. Mmm?

Since he's come back, he's sleeping all the time.

He looks terrible, like he's coming down with something.

Yes, that's quite possible.

The immune system's not so effective when you're run-down.

Oh, so it's just jetlag, then.

No, it's got nothing to do with jetlag.

I'd imagine it's the fatigue from doing the shiftwork,

combined with the experience of sleeping rough -

that would leave him vulnerable to all sorts of things.

What?

Look, if he wants an examination, tell him to come and see me.

He wasn't doing shiftwork, he was holidaying, seeing the sights.

Doc, if there's something you know...

None of my business.

So you do know something!

Pauline, stop being childish.

No, I'm being emotional!

Why was Al doing shiftwork?!

Ask Al!

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

(Presses button) What?!

You never told me you were working over there.

Pauline... And sleeping rough too.

You told me you came back because you missed me.

Well, I did, I did miss you.

You ran out of money? What were you spending it on?!

Oh, not now, Pauline. (Presses button)

You...! Oh! Oh!

Oh, is the doc in? Yep!

Al!

Al Large, you don't get to hang up on me!

Wake up! Bert, help!

Al, please. Bert!

Yes?

Martin?

Louisa. Are you busy?

Uh, no.

Just thought I'd pop by, say hello.

Hello. Hello.

Uh, PC Penhale's roped me into going to his party later.

It's probably gonna be terrible. Ghastly.

So, I just wondered if you were going, anyway,

or if you wanted to meet me there, you know.

Doesn't have to be for the whole thing.

Um...yes.

Yes?

Penhale's party at Mrs Wilson's hotel. I'll be there.

Oh, right.

What?

Nothing. It's just I thought you hated parties.

Uh, well, depends.

Why are you so keen to go to this one, then?

I'm not. You just asked me to.

I did, I'm just surprised

that you're planning on going, that's all.

So, you asked me 'cause you expected me to say no?

No, I asked you 'cause I hoped you'd say yes.

I did say yes.

Well, it's just usually I have to twist your arm...

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

I'm sorry, I have absolutely no idea what it is you want me to say.

Excuse me. Ellingham.

Pauline...

Er, put him in the recovery position. I'll be right there. (Presses button)

Sorry, I have an emergency. I've got to...

Go. Yes, I know.

Er, about the party... An emergency.

Right. Sorry.

Breathe in. (Al inhales)

And out. (Al exhales)

In. (Inhales)

Out. (Exhales)

When did you regain consciousness? In. Don't answer that. Pauline?

He woke up just after I called you.

Out. (Exhales)

In. (Inhales)

Out. (Exhales)

How are you feeling now? Er, not so good, doc.

Are you still awake at night and asleep during the day?

Mmm. What?

Have you been taking drugs, Al? No.

You sure? Yeah.

What's wrong with him, doc?

Ow!

Mmm, the lymph glands are slightly swollen.

Did you get bitten by any insects while you were away?

Yeah. Yeah, uh, this one itches like crazy. Oh!

Nope, don't scratch it. Yes, that looks like tsetse fly.

Have there been any mood swings?

Have there ever!

I think it could be East African sleeping sickness.

It's quite interesting, actually.

The fly bites through the skin

and the parasites are injected into the bloodstream,

but once inside the body, they continue to replicate

as they make their way to the brain,

eventually invading the whole central nervous system.

Hmm. Pauline, will you take a blood sample, please?

Er...you sure you know what you're doing?

Shh. I did a course.

Got a certificate and everything.

But, doc, if he's got this thing, will he be alright?

Yeah. It's nasty, but he should be fine.

You'll need a course of injections of melarsoprol,

and if that doesn't work, then he might need to spend some time

in the Hospital for Tropical Diseases, but I'm hopeful.

If you'll hurry up, please, Pauline. I have to be somewhere.

(Dog yelps) SQUELCHING

Oh.

CARRIE: Tinkle!

Princess Tinkle!

Where are you, baby?

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS LOUDLY

Alright, Louisa? Alright, Joe?

MUSIC STOPS, FEEDBACK SCREECHES

Before the fun starts,

I want you all to look at the person standing next to you.

Statistics say that one of you will break the law in the next month.

So, be alert. (All groan)

Later on, we have a raffle.

First prize is a guided tour of the police station.

You haven't seen Princess Tinkle, have you?

Sorry? My dog. She's wandered off.

No.

I mean, she's probably out terrorising all the local boy dogs.

Neither one of us has ever had any trouble making friends.

I'll bet.

Excuse me, I must find my Tinkle.

JOAN: Help! Help, someone, please!

Please help! I... Oh, Martin!

Martin, I've been trying to get hold of you!

Put some clothes on. I think he's dead!

Look, please, please, come. Come now, now, now.

Come on, quick, quick!

He's in here.

There!

Here, hold this.

He's alive. What happened?

Uh, well, we were...we were just...

I see.

And then he suddenly had another fit,

but he said his EEG was fine.

It was. How long has he been unconscious?

Oh, I don't know. About a minute.

I came downstairs to get help, and, uh...

Has he been drinking or using drugs?

Oh, Martin, we're not teenagers. No.

He takes pills for hay fever, but that wouldn't do this.

Here, let me see them. Oh, my God.

It's, uh...vardenafil.

He takes two or three whenever I see him. Hasn't sneezed once.

This drug is used to help with erectile dysfunction. What?!

These are 100mg - you're only supposed to take one. Excessive use can lead to seizures!

Mr Melville, you lied about your medication and endangered your life!

You're an idiot! Martin!

Stick to the recommended dosage!

Or find another way to pass the time.

Martin, just leave it.

(Dials number)

I've explained what's going on. The crowd's under control.

If you need a police escort or anything...

The ambulance will be here in a few minutes.

Right. Just 'cause it's a party, though, doesn't mean I'm off duty.

Go back inside. Right.

Aunty Joan, I'm sorry about that Oedipus remark. That was unkind.

No, no, I think you were probably accurate.

Really? CAR APPROACHES AND STOPS

Creepy.

METAL TROLLEY RATTLES

Sir, can you hear me?

Mummy, is that you?

Thank you, thank you. (Chuckles)

Oh, Martin. How's Mr Melville?

Uh, he's...he's fine.

Um, I didn't think you'd want to stay.

Right. Have you seen Mrs Wilson?

Oh, Martin! Mrs Wilson.

I was just thinking about you. Now, can I get you a drink?

I need to talk to you.

Um, will you excuse us? Yes?

I killed your dog.

What? It was an accident.

It got under the...it got under the wheel of my car.

Uh, it died instantly, I think.

You're probably not aware that, as the dog's owner,

it's your responsibility to dispose of it

before it becomes a health hazard...

Oh! I think we'd probably better get some ice on that.

Um, it's fine.

It was the other cheek.

Right.

Is that wine you're drinking?

Look, Martin, just because somebody has got a glass of wine,

it doesn't make them an alcoholic,

so, you know, whatever symptoms you think you can see...

No, I was gonna ask you if I can get you another glass.

Oh. Yes, thank you.

Mmm.

(Girls chatter and laugh)

PENHALE: Settle down, settle down.

MUSIC STOPS, FEEDBACK SCREECHES

Settle down.

I have the results of the raffle.

I'm just here for a minute.

Bert's looking after Al, I just wanna see who won the raffle.

The lucky winner of prize number four is...

..number 52.

That's me! That's me!

(Laughs)

It was quite a slap she gave you.

Well, I did run over her dog.

Well, I suppose some people might feel

that she's a little bit... you know, um...

Narcissistic, hypochondriacal and extremely annoying.

Yes.

PENHALE: Number 12!

Martin, um, a friend of mine's in an orchestra,

and they're doing a charity concert next week and I've got two tickets.

So... Yes.

Yes?

If that's an invitation.

Yes, it was.

I should warn you, they are amateurs.

Well, everyone has to start somewhere.

(Laughs) Yeah.

(Shrieks) Ow, Martin! I'm sorry! What are you doing?

Y149 ULD...

What? That's my car!

You're blocking the fire exit, so I've instructed for it to be towed.

What?! Sorry, no, no, I've got to go.

Erm...shall I... I'll see you next week at the concert, then.

Yes, yes. 'Bye.

Closed Captions by CSI

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