All language subtitles for Dirt s02e06 And the Winner Is.eng

Previously, on Dirt...

Don, your brother's been
in a car accident.

- I don't remember any of it.
- Jason, you came.

- Hi, Sharlee.
- Don's gonna be your personal photographer.

- I really liked Love Me Monday.
- Thank you.

Hey! Get your ass off that wall!

Just promise that you'll tell
me before it gets printed.

Do you think that Roy's gonna
find out about what you're doing?

We could've gotten
another million out of her.

His whole marriage to
Sharlee was a complete scam.

- It's not good.
- Play with my hair, Don.

It's Debbie Ann.
They never really broke up.

They planned it to get your money.

Sharlee, I'm worried about you.

You should be kissing my ass.

Can I start with your lips?

And you're here to convince
me to buy your magazine.

What's in it for Brent Barrow?

May I?

- I'm Lucy.
- Good to put a face to the name.

Brent Barrow says the website
can produce more revenue.

He wants editorial control.

Brent Barrow shouldn't be in
control of the air-conditioning.

Hey, do you want to go to the
Hollywood Gold Awards with me?

Sure.

What is this thing?

- I don't know. I just want to be with you.
- Me too.

Lucy Spiller, would you
like to go on a date with me?

Yes, I would.

How 'bout the, um...

the Hollywood Gold Awards?

We can't do that.

Besides, I'm... I'm already
going with someone.

Reporters have to be
inside before that.

Come on, this is Awards Night 101.

Oh, thank God.

Yeah, well, figure it out,
or you'll be spending the night

with a centerpiece
sticking out of your ass.

Hi.

Where'd you learn to fold one of these?

Oh, oh, hey, J., don't touch that.

It's for my pinhole camera thing.

You gonna get out today?

Why? Is there an eclipse or something?

Come on.

Doctor said you gotta get out and about.

You've been on the couch for two weeks.

- You gotta do something.
- I am doing something.

I'm hanging out with my big brother.

So? You gonna bang her?

- Who?
- Who? Sharlee Cates, man.

I told you that's just business.

Dude, you're with her
every day. Don't even...

Don't act like you haven't
thought about it, please.

It's my job.

- Yeah?
- Oh, Don.

You're not like the other paps.

- You're such a nice guy.
- I told you that in confidence.

Don, please, can I see it?

Whip it out for me, Don, please?

Just a sneaky peeky, huh?

Dude, my neck!

- J., you okay?
- Kiss me, Donnie!

You asshole!

Man.

Don't wait up.

Good afternoon, Brent.

Please. You and your friend, join us.

Champagne is already poured.

Get in the car.

Hi. Welcome.

Hi.

Look at my little prom king.

I love flowers.

They're so corny.

Tonight is gonna be

the greatest night of my life,

because I am gonna present Mia

with her Lifetime Achievement Award.

And you know what?

She asked for me.

It was completely her idea.

I just... I love her so much.

Here.

Open your mouth.

'Kay.

- Spearmint.
- THC.

No, I'm good.

Dirt 2x06

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Love that. Okay, Holt
will be here any minute.

I can give you a little time with
him, but then he has to do E.T.

- and the People photo booth.
- Okay. So, will Jasmine Ford be with him?

Are they officially together?

Okay, are you looking
to have a new one chewed?

What? No. Hang on.
Sorry, sweetie.

Um, Holt and Jasmine are very
excited to be working together.

They have the utmost respect
and affection for each other.

- That work?
- Yeah. There's your quote.

Hey.

Thanks.

After, uh, the event, do
we just go back to the office? Or...

Uh, no. The party's just the beginning.
Final transmissions are at 5:00.

Lucy'll have us up making
copy changes until about 4:59.

Uh, Danielle said

that the close schedule changed,
so all text is locked by 4:00.

- Basically meaning that...
- Yeah, I know what it means.

- I've done this before.
- Holt's here. It's now or never.

Now listen, you can ask him
anything you want about the movie.

No questions about Julia Mallory.

Willa from Dirt Now. Don't say anything
stupid. I'll be right over there. Be charming.

Don't be worried.
How are you?

- So, congratulations on your nomination.
- Thank you.

Just glad it only took
ten years' worth of work

to get nominated for Best Newcomer.

You believe that?

That wasn't believable enough?
Should I try that again?

Well, good luck.

- My money would be on you.
- Thank you.

Holt will next be seen starring opposite

Jasmine Ford in the drama Fear Tactic.

Oh, and here comes a tender moment.

Jasmine gives her former husband,

baseball star Trey Paulson, a hug.

They are truly two of
Hollywood's friendliest exes.

Obviously they're not
screening for steroids.

Oh, don't be hating, baby.

I've got nothing but love for you.

Besides, do you really want to call me

on my shit with all of your indiscretions?

I've been sober 13 months.

Ah, seems like just yesterday you were
sober 13 months for the first time.

Ah, my beauty.

Goodbye.
Come with me.

Everybody needs you down here.

Cute.

Now arriving, America's princess of pop,

- Miss Sharlee Cates.
- Sharlee, over here!

Come on, give me a shot,
baby, give me one shot!

Jesus Christ, it's Konkey!

Okay. Own it, don't hide,
give it to them and get it over with.

Do you smell cherries?

Hey, Sharlee, when'd you start
sleeping with the enemy?

Oh, Donnie and I are just friends.

And here she is,

God's gift to pop, and that's
a direct quote from her, folks.

Mia.

Mia is receiving the Lifetime
Achievement Award tonight,

and it will be given to her
by none other than Sharlee Cates.

I love this girl.

Isn't she beautiful?

Mia, over here!
Come on, give me a shot!

- Hey.
- Hello, gorgeous.

- Hi, Jasmine.
- How are you?

- Good.
- Did you get that plasma screen I sent you?

Thank you, Ted, but it's
gonna take more than that

to get me to commit
to your mini-series.

I thought our offer was quite
generous, to say the least.

Bump it up from generous
to obscene and we'll talk.

Besides, I can't take on anything
until I'm done with my boy here.

- When do you guys start that project?
- We go on location next week.

- Lucky you.
- No. We're just good friends.

Though I always fall a
little b with my costar.

What about you, Holt?

Do you always fall
just a little bit in love?

No. I tend for the
emotionally unavailable types.

Well, now I know the party can start.

- How are you?
- I'm good.

Do you know Claire?

Of course. We worked
together years ago.

And this is Lucy Spiller

Ted Rothman.

Lucy Spiller.

I should be mad at you
for all the awful things

- you wrote about me this year.
- Or stop doing awful things.

Heard great things
about The Plantation.

Wonderful script.
Can't wait to get started.

How 'bout a toast?

You need a drink.

May good fortune reign
over all of our projects.

Cheers.

Can I get you to raise
your arms, please, sir?

Sir, you're gonna have
to leave this here.

Nice try, Konkey.

Raise your arms, please.

What? Do you want
the underwire from my bra?

'Cause you could probably
sell it on eBay

and take your girlfriend
to Jamaica for a month.

You certainly know your shit, Donnie.

All right, I have one request
for those who win tonight.

If you haven't been in a synagogue
or a church in the last two years,

you can't thank God.

Hello.

You seem to get along
pretty well with McLaren.

Why shouldn't I?

Well, his girlfriend
did try to kill you

and then wound up dead herself.

I don't know. That'd make most
people feel a little awkward.

Well, luckily, I'm a people person.

Yes, you are.

... last year's Best Actress
winner, Jasmine Ford,

and the star of Native
Speaker, Malachi Brody.

A clown, a pianist,
a little league coach.

Jasmine.

What is she doing?

That's your line.

It's quite all right.

A clown, a pianist,
a little league coach.

Jasmine?

Let's see.

These are some of the roles
played by the outstanding nominees

for Best Dramatic Male Actor.

Now, that's awkward.

- She sobered this year. I don't get it.
- Maybe it's food poisoning.

I've had food poisoning,
and I don't remember giggling.

Okay, half the civilized world
has caught this on live TV.

The other half will catch it
on YouTube in about two hours.

What happened?

Career fallout, family
reactions, rehab plans...

What we didn't see,
was she drinking, when?

You know, could've been pills.

Vicodin works fast. Even faster
if you chase it with Atavan.

That's what we bookworms did in college,

in lieu of women.

All right.
What did her rep say?

I was covering the smoking area.
I wasn't in the press room.

You were in the smoking area
because you wanted a smoke.

I was where I was supposed to be.

Who said anything about you?
I was covering the smoking area

because it made Bee sick
and she wanted to switch.

You've either slept
together or you've slept together.

Either way, go do
your goddamn jobs. Go.

- What's wrong with you?
- How was that accusatory look...

That's beautiful.
That's great.

Okay, good.
Yep. Yep, yep, yep.

Why are you all smiles?

You ever been to Bora Bora?

No, but it's on my list.

Oh, yeah?

Clear next week.

Brent, I need to talk with you.

And I with you.

Go look at something shiny, will you?

Remember the rights to all
the Dirt Now brand extensions,

books, TV specials,
foreign editions?

Of course. Gibson refused to
include them in the sale.

What if I were to tell you that Gibson
has agreed to sell these to you

for one dollar?

Ooh, that got you there, huh?

It turns out his lawyers

misinterpreted some clause
in the contract.

If he hangs on to these rights, he's on
the hook for millions in tax liability.

But you... you,

on the other hand, have
no exposure to worry about.

You are a multi-national.

Congratulations.

Your holdings just increased

by a hundred million dollars.

Wonderful.

- Now, may I tell you what I wanted to say?
- Yeah.

Switch women with me.

I want your date.

Wait a minute.
You can have mine.

Adam, I can't just trade her off, man.

A challenge is a beautiful thing,

to lock horns, to bury a shoulder

into the heart of an obstacle.

Meet this challenge and stand
victorious in a downpour of red roses.

Fail, and wilt,

diminished in both stature and worth.

An artist of extraordinary
vision and creativity,

she has had a profound impact not only

on the American music industry,

but on the world's
pop cultural scene as well.

Get anything?

I got some stuff.

Ladies and gentlemen,

it gives me great pleasure to present

this Lifetime Achievement Award

to my personal hero,

Mia.

Hi.

It's tired, but the tongues
were a nice twist.

If I know Mia, she's gonna
stonewall the press.

But you have an inside pass,

so I want you to use it,
Don. Don't let me down.

Hey.

- Have you been drinking?
- No.

Seriously.

Allergies.

It must be somebody's perfume or something.

She's at St. Margaret's, she's
suffering from exhaustion.

That's it.

Exhaustion?

Isn't that Hollywood for shit-faced?

She was clean.

Nothing but Diet Cokes and
bottled water for the past year.

You expect me to go back to Lucy

and tell her that Jasmine Ford
blew chunks on national television

because she need a nap?

I've lied for my clients before.
That's my job.

But I'm telling you, I am not lying.
She was clean.

I think somebody slipped
something in her soda.

How's Jasmine?

They took her to the hospital.

Really?

Was she on something?

Is this for the record?

Would it make a difference?

Nope. Just like knowing who
I'm talking to, you know?

You're talking to me.

That's what I'm afraid of.

No, I didn't see her drink anything
that wasn't carbonated all night, so...

Did she seem upset about anything?

Well, she ran into her dick of
an ex-husband on the red carpet.

She seemed to get over it, so...

Between me and you, she's
got bigger problems than that.

- What?
- They want her off the movie.

According to Cheryl, with her history,

the studio didn't want to
bond her to begin with, so...

Who would replace her?

I don't know.

But if she looks half as
good as you in that dress,

then I will be one happy leading man.

You're just saying that because
I'm emotionally unavailable.

Maybe.

What?

He's not the right one.

And you know that how?

I can hear it
in your breathing.

- Is that so?
- Yeah.

It's all jagged and uneven.

A little like
it is now, you know?

You know, her rep said that she's
clean. I think I believe her.

Oh, yeah. Unless, of course,
she's one of those rare celebrities

- who's into self-destruction.
- Okay, there's self-destruction,

and then there's dropping a
nuclear warhead on your career.

- I'm not buying it.
- Willa, your boyfriend the baseball player?

Seemed like he might get a kick
out of seeing her crash and burn.

Maybe he doped her.

Her ex-husband?

Isn't that the equivalent
of the butler did it? What's his motive?

He's her ex-husband.

Sold, I guess.

You know what?

Pass me those packets of sweetener.

What for?

Just because I'm not a jock
doesn't mean I don't follow sports.

Our man Trey has been known
to howl at the moon.

I can totally see you in
music videos.

Oh, yeah. Like Kanye Eastside and stuff.

You know, we actually have a
really good relationship with VH1.

- Yep.
- Really?

- I'm sure they would be interested.
- They'd go crazy, man.

Step on in.

Yippee skippee.

Just, uh, do this.

- Oh, did we lock the door?
- Oh, my...

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

- Oh, shit.
- Don't worry about it. I got my own party.

Great.

- That's great.
- That's great.

- I love that stuff.
- Great.

You don't think that what happened to
Trey's ex tonight is gonna hurt him, do you?

No, no. I mean, you don't have
much contact with her nowadays, do you?

No, thank you.
I've had my fill of crazy.

Yeah. Man, that was some
insane shit tonight, huh?

Yeah. But you know who's
really getting screwed here?

Me. Okay? My prenup says half of
everything that she makes, I get.

No one's gonna hire her now.

I swear that bitch did that
just to spite me.

- Oh, go ahead.
- Hey, party time.

See, Paulson's too greedy.

- He wants the money.
- Right. And he, you know, does not like her.

- Hates her.
- But he would not jeopardize...

- The money.
- So she's gonna lose the movie.

You know the Holt McLaren movie?

Right... It... But I don't
know who'd want to see that.

- Dumping her?
- The studio maybe.

Jesus.
Shut up.

Ah, there she is.
My heir apparent.

I... I just... I wanted
to thank you so much,

because you ha since I can
remember, and

I'm out of here, I'm so honored.

Thanks.

Thanks for stopp bye.

I thought that maybe we could
do the press room together.

and that way I could be completely
honest about my rea and

it would just be about

the music and...

Oh. Don't take this the wrong way, Sharlee,

but we're... we're done here.

Oh. I just thought...

Yeah, well, that's the problem.

I'm sorry, I don't... I'm

- I'm not sure I understand.
- Ah, sure you do. Think about it.

Our kiss was no different than you
flashing your getting out of a limo

or cutting your hair for the paparazzi.

We're in the business
of being provocative

That's our job.

Staying relevant in a world

with an attention span of a magpie.

The way I look at it, I just

added another 5 minutes
to what little is left of your 15.

Don't get me wrong,
Sharlee.

I do admire you in your dead animal.

We're all creations to a degree, but you,

you've built an empire
on nothing but smoke

and nary enough talent

or gray matter to float a spoon.

You're welcome.

You know, all this bitterness?

Make you look old.

Hey, can I bum a smoke?

Sure.

Haven't had a cigarette
in almost three years.

Not a day goes by where I don't
think about lighting one up.

Can I get a light?

Gave up gambling,

I gave up smoking.

Booze and pussy.

That's all I got left.

I'm sure as hell not giving up
either one of those.

I hear you.

Especially with the piece
of ass I'm banging right now.

I mean, I've had
my fair share, you know?

How could you not, living in this town?

But I gotta be honest with you, man.

Lucy Spiller, she's one horny girl.

I know she looks
all hard on the outside,

but I get her bent over my sofa,
I smack her ass a little bit,

she starts howling at...

How'd that work out for you, Timmy?

Got something else to say, buddy?

What do you thinking?

I'm sorry, all right?

I shouldn't have, but he
had it coming to him.

Because why?
What did he say?

That I was a slut?
That I put out?

What are you, 16?

What world are you living in?

He played you.

All right. So what? So he played me.
Who cares?

This is a big mistake.

Yeah, it's a big mistake,
and you're making it.

Your friend Adam is quite a character.

You like him?

He's rich, handsome, arrogant.

And he looks at me like I'm covered in
B�arnaise sauce. What's not to like?

Well, he told me

that he finds you very attractive.

Is that my cue to jump up
and down and clap?

Oh, what is it with
beautiful women and bile?

What is it about rich men
and entitlement?

I'm just saying...

might be interesting.

So let me get this straight.

You're pimping me off to your boss.

I love you like...

like an 18-year-old scotch, but let's
not rewrite history here.

Before tonight, I hadn't
seen you in three months.

All right. True. So I see
how one could construe that

to mean they have the right to trade me
like an old baseball card.

I'm not trading you, sweetheart.

I'm not. I'm... I'm...
I'm alerting you...

to an opportunity.

One million dollars for one night.

- God.
- Just like the movie.

- Two if his girlfriend sticks around.
- The guy can have anybody he wants.

He doesn't have to pay for sex.

Sweetheart, everybody pays for sex.

Speak of the devil.

You have very beautiful toes.

Don't you think I tried the agents?

Nobody is going to say anything
until they cast a replacement.

- Quiet. Sorry, Greg, what was that?
- Don't tell...

Yeah.

Got it.

No. Thanks, man.

Okay. Um, he heard the execs say

that the whole thing
is a blessing in disguise.

Okay? Studio had buyer's remorse
on her deal from the get-go.

They even floated the idea to her agents
of putting her on a different movie.

How fortuitous.

You don't think it was
the studio that doped her

so that they could cancel her contract.

Why not? This is Hollywood.

Do you have those business
affairs sources at the studio?

Who do you think I'm calling, Einstein?

Open your mouth.

- I talked to Jen.
- Who?

My date.

They usually take 30 minutes to kick in.

Special blend.
A little E, a little speed, a little DXM.

She wants a million dollars for the night.

Two if Nicolina's on the dance card.

An ambiguously worded clause my lawyers
would have found eventually is one thing,

but this is a real test of your value.

My offer to Jen is
my company, nothing else.

Work with that.

I'm sorry.

For what?

Come on, you're too smart to play stupid.

Really? I think I played
stupid really well.

Do you love him?

I don't know.

What?

I thought we weren't
gonna play stupid.

Bye.

I really love what I do.

I'm ashamed at how much
I love what I do, but...

if I couldn't do anything in life,

the music is...

I think you sing beautifully.

Really?

Tattered? Your third CD?
It's all I listen to now.

I'm 41 years old, and it's all I listen to.

I love the incongruity.

What is that?

You know, the absurdity
of something when...

you know, like, when things
don't go together.

Like us?

Yeah.

Will you kiss me, Don?

Like normal people kiss?

Here's some early selects for the advance.
Art Department's already got them.

They just need your approval.

We thought you could use
that for the Ed. Letter.

Claire Leland's movie, The Plantation.

Call your source and see
if they have a start date.

I presented your offer.

And?

I wish they'd let you smoke in here.

What?

That's it?

Apparently.

You like my Jaguar?

It's all right.

Just had it detailed.

Well, you should get your money back,

'cause you can still smell the
desperation when you get in.

What you do tonight

to one person

I've had to do countless times

over years.

I can't tell if you're bragging or lamenting.

Do me a favor.

If the world should
go up in flames tomorrow

and it's just you and me left...

pretend you didn't see me.

Congratulations.

- For what?
- Your new job.

You're taking Jasmine Ford's
part inFear Tactic.

I doubt it.
I think I'd have heard.

Well, you heard about The Plantation.
I mean, it's shutting down.

I had no idea.
Really?

What... What was it?

Was it ketamine that you put
in Jasmine's Diet Coke?

Or PCP? Rohypnol?

Did you do it by yourself,
or did you get help?

You're starting to sound
like your magazine.

Why don't you save it for your memoirs,

because you'll never
be allowed to print it.

I'm sure I'll find a way.

Good luck.

I've decided to keep both women.

But in exchange, you get the website

and the options,

and since you did discover the
properties before my lawyers,

let's add a finder's fee, say, two
and a half percent on the hundred mil?

A little something for
all your efforts tonight.

One of my assistants just dropped it off.

It's outside.

All right!

One! Two!
One two three four!

Hey.

What'd you get?

Oh, I gotta go home and
look... look at some stuff.

All right, Don, stop it.

What about the tape recorder?

Don, I need this.

I have nothing on Jasmine.

I don't have anything else.
Sharlee and Mia, that is it.

I'm sorry, Lucy. You know,
there's nothing there.

Sharlee went and said hi
to Mia, and that was it.

- I couldn't get a story.
- Okay, which was it?

There was nothing there
or you couldn't get it?

Nothing there.

Okay. I don't believe you.

Give me the recorder.

Don, give it to me.

She is not a person, she is a product.

If you can't remember that, maybe
you should take some time off.

- I should've called.
- Forget it.

No, it's... E- mails
are so impersonal.

- You know, I just... I just thought...
- I never got an e-mail.

I sent it from my personal account.

I don't open e-mails
from unknown senders.

Well, I figured that
after we slept together,

the least I could do is give you
my personal e-mail address.

That is so sweet.

Well, I try.

- What did it say?
- What?

- The e-mail. What did it say?
- It said that I think you're actually

a very good reporter.

Lucy, Lucy, do you like this one?

Okay, all right, I need a minute!

She needs a minute.

I want to see you.

What? You know the drill.

Close the book.

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