All language subtitles for Detroiters s02e05 Farmer Zack.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,859 --> 00:00:02,561 - [LAUGHTER] - "Pony" by Ginuwine comes on, 2 00:00:02,628 --> 00:00:04,730 and Sam walks straight to the middle of the room, 3 00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:06,400 clears a big circle, 4 00:00:06,466 --> 00:00:08,229 won't let anybody else dance... 5 00:00:08,254 --> 00:00:09,588 I drop down to the ground 6 00:00:09,654 --> 00:00:10,955 and start doing the worm. 7 00:00:11,022 --> 00:00:13,758 And boom! My pants split wide open. 8 00:00:13,825 --> 00:00:17,109 No underwear! Butt everywhere! 9 00:00:17,109 --> 00:00:18,830 Man, it was so bad, 10 00:00:18,897 --> 00:00:20,632 the principal had to give Sam his pants. 11 00:00:20,698 --> 00:00:22,467 - [LAUGHTER] - I still have 'em. 12 00:00:22,534 --> 00:00:24,235 - You do? - They fit! They fit! 13 00:00:24,302 --> 00:00:27,338 [LAUGHTER] 14 00:00:27,405 --> 00:00:28,873 Well, I have a funny prom story. 15 00:00:28,940 --> 00:00:30,440 - Yes! - Okay, okay. 16 00:00:30,479 --> 00:00:33,104 So our theme was Under the Sea. 17 00:00:33,344 --> 00:00:36,641 Except they put stars on the ceiling. 18 00:00:37,077 --> 00:00:39,204 Well why would there be stars on the ceiling 19 00:00:39,204 --> 00:00:41,540 if we're under the sea?! 20 00:00:41,608 --> 00:00:43,877 [LAUGHING] 21 00:00:43,943 --> 00:00:45,211 Who does that, you know? 22 00:00:45,278 --> 00:00:46,479 Uh, yeah. 23 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:47,714 I guess there wouldn't be... 24 00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:49,812 - No. - Ha, ha! 25 00:00:49,991 --> 00:00:52,431 Ah, man, hilarious. 26 00:00:52,947 --> 00:00:55,282 Then I was voted prom queen, so, you know, so dumb. 27 00:00:55,307 --> 00:00:58,466 - Congratulations. - Thank you so much. 28 00:00:58,900 --> 00:00:59,943 I love your hair. 29 00:00:59,968 --> 00:01:01,669 Oh, thank you. 30 00:01:01,736 --> 00:01:04,439 Yeah, Chrissy does YouTube hair tutorials. 31 00:01:04,505 --> 00:01:05,673 They're pretty popular. 32 00:01:05,740 --> 00:01:07,375 Oh, I love YouTube! 33 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,363 Yeah, I have lots of videos on there 34 00:01:09,388 --> 00:01:11,290 of me singing gospel songs. 35 00:01:11,356 --> 00:01:12,958 So many views, it's embarrassing. 36 00:01:13,024 --> 00:01:14,493 - So dumb. - Totally. 37 00:01:14,559 --> 00:01:15,660 And now it's time for Mort Crim's 38 00:01:15,727 --> 00:01:16,966 Chump of the Week. 39 00:01:16,966 --> 00:01:19,264 - Oh, here comes Chump. - There we go! Morty! 40 00:01:19,331 --> 00:01:22,396 This week's chump is my son's best friend Tucker. 41 00:01:22,822 --> 00:01:24,955 If you're coming to someone's house for a sleepover, 42 00:01:24,955 --> 00:01:26,675 you don't get a nosebleed. 43 00:01:26,991 --> 00:01:29,360 That's all my stuff you bled on, Tucker. 44 00:01:29,427 --> 00:01:30,861 Classic Chump. 45 00:01:30,928 --> 00:01:33,194 Up next, watersports and weather. 46 00:01:33,664 --> 00:01:35,399 ? If you want to save money... ? 47 00:01:35,466 --> 00:01:37,381 Oh, I love this commercial. 48 00:01:37,444 --> 00:01:39,103 Well, it's one of ours. 49 00:01:39,170 --> 00:01:40,971 You know that's Sam singing, right? 50 00:01:41,038 --> 00:01:42,373 Really? 51 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,341 - You're so cute. - Eh, actually I'm sexy. 52 00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:45,876 ? Dime after dime ? 53 00:01:45,943 --> 00:01:48,512 ? It's an undeniable fact ? 54 00:01:48,579 --> 00:01:53,250 ? And it's always bargain time at Farmer Zack's ? 55 00:01:53,317 --> 00:01:56,053 ? You get your nickels back ? 56 00:01:56,120 --> 00:02:01,392 ? And it's always bargain time at Farmer Zack's ? 57 00:02:01,459 --> 00:02:02,700 Who is that you're singing with? 58 00:02:03,761 --> 00:02:05,329 Uh, you know, 59 00:02:05,396 --> 00:02:07,064 I don't quite remember. 60 00:02:07,131 --> 00:02:08,986 Something like that kind of is, like, can slip the mind. 61 00:02:09,011 --> 00:02:10,768 Sam, that's Molly. 62 00:02:10,835 --> 00:02:14,136 Is it, Chrissy? What a fantastic memory you have. 63 00:02:14,326 --> 00:02:16,407 Yeah, we've been doing Sudoku puzzles 64 00:02:16,474 --> 00:02:18,509 so we don't go nuts when we're old people. 65 00:02:18,576 --> 00:02:20,711 ? And it's always bargain time at Farmer Zack's ? 66 00:02:20,778 --> 00:02:21,912 Who's... who's Molly? 67 00:02:21,979 --> 00:02:23,447 ? Farmer Zack's ? 68 00:02:23,514 --> 00:02:24,482 Just an acquaintance. 69 00:02:24,548 --> 00:02:25,816 An acquaintance? 70 00:02:25,883 --> 00:02:28,261 You used to call her your soulmate. 71 00:02:28,986 --> 00:02:30,388 Ex-girlfriend. 72 00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:33,038 I guess that's why you guys sound so passionate. 73 00:02:33,582 --> 00:02:35,192 Ah, it's just a commercial, babe. 74 00:02:35,259 --> 00:02:36,994 Who cares? I mean, it's not like I came. 75 00:02:37,061 --> 00:02:38,262 - Ohhhh, man! - Sam! 76 00:02:38,329 --> 00:02:39,836 What? I said I didn't come. 77 00:02:39,861 --> 00:02:41,938 I don't normally comment on the commercials, 78 00:02:42,024 --> 00:02:44,100 but that grocery store commercial 79 00:02:44,168 --> 00:02:45,870 makes me just a little horny. 80 00:02:46,804 --> 00:02:47,972 ? Next time ? 81 00:02:48,039 --> 00:02:49,273 ? When they ask you ? 82 00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:51,208 ? Where you're from ? 83 00:02:51,275 --> 00:02:53,010 ? You gon' say Detroit city ? 84 00:02:53,077 --> 00:02:56,451 ? When we get back on our feet, yeah ? 85 00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:58,717 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com 86 00:02:58,816 --> 00:03:01,786 [SMOOTH MUSIC] 87 00:03:01,852 --> 00:03:03,214 Yes, sir. 88 00:03:03,454 --> 00:03:06,357 ? 89 00:03:06,424 --> 00:03:08,159 Ho, ho, shit! 90 00:03:08,225 --> 00:03:09,903 [LAUGHING] 91 00:03:10,294 --> 00:03:13,497 Yeah, that is it right there! 92 00:03:14,118 --> 00:03:15,161 Mm. 93 00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:18,202 Oh, uh, can I... Can I get a Whopper? 94 00:03:18,269 --> 00:03:20,498 The hell's that? Is that some kind of joke? 95 00:03:20,523 --> 00:03:21,742 Yeah, of course it's a joke. 96 00:03:21,767 --> 00:03:23,302 I think it's funnier than you do, actually. 97 00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:25,371 Well, Tim, I had this great idea. 98 00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:26,573 It's just... it kind of made me laugh. 99 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:28,408 I was like, what if... 100 00:03:28,474 --> 00:03:31,411 Get this... we re-recorded the Farmer Zack jingle 101 00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:33,009 with me and Shannon singing? 102 00:03:33,506 --> 00:03:34,422 Ugh. 103 00:03:34,578 --> 00:03:36,327 Shannon's jealous 'cause it's you and Molly. 104 00:03:36,397 --> 00:03:38,762 No. Shannon didn't even mention it once. 105 00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:40,182 Yet. 106 00:03:40,182 --> 00:03:41,754 But man, it's so awkward, you know. 107 00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:42,922 It comes on all the time. 108 00:03:42,989 --> 00:03:44,157 So let's re-record it. 109 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,196 Sam, people love that jingle. 110 00:03:46,196 --> 00:03:47,794 Yeah, but they'll love the new jingle 111 00:03:47,819 --> 00:03:48,906 even more. 112 00:03:48,947 --> 00:03:50,017 Plus, 113 00:03:50,017 --> 00:03:51,249 Shannon's a professional singer, 114 00:03:51,316 --> 00:03:52,317 she's my girlfriend, 115 00:03:52,384 --> 00:03:53,562 and we're doing it, so... 116 00:03:53,664 --> 00:03:54,985 Yeah, you know what? Fine. 117 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,589 But it's only because I want you and Shannon to be happy. 118 00:03:58,140 --> 00:03:59,167 Thank you, buddy. 119 00:03:59,192 --> 00:04:00,610 But tell me this, my friend... 120 00:04:03,595 --> 00:04:04,663 How's the sex? 121 00:04:04,730 --> 00:04:05,864 We don't have to do that. 122 00:04:05,931 --> 00:04:07,065 I'm sorry. I apologize. 123 00:04:07,132 --> 00:04:08,333 - It's a joke. - Okay. 124 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:09,668 - It's all part of the... - I mean... 125 00:04:09,735 --> 00:04:10,768 Yeah. 126 00:04:11,636 --> 00:04:13,383 Crap, now I'm picturing you pumping. 127 00:04:14,490 --> 00:04:15,974 Now I'm picturing you pumping. 128 00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:25,117 For the life of me, I can't understand, 129 00:04:25,183 --> 00:04:26,676 why would you steal Kotex? 130 00:04:27,140 --> 00:04:28,482 Do you even know what they are? 131 00:04:28,795 --> 00:04:29,857 Look at me! 132 00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:31,656 Do you know what my daddy would do if he found me 133 00:04:31,723 --> 00:04:33,058 stealing some Kotex? 134 00:04:33,125 --> 00:04:35,293 He would beat my black ass. 135 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,661 You better look at me. I ain't playin'. 136 00:04:36,728 --> 00:04:38,096 I'll put my foot so deep in your ass 137 00:04:38,163 --> 00:04:39,931 you'll be walking on my knees. 138 00:04:39,998 --> 00:04:41,533 Tomata, you're banned from the store. 139 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,162 Now get your ass outta here! 140 00:04:44,830 --> 00:04:46,338 Better take that look off you... 141 00:04:46,405 --> 00:04:47,939 You take that look off your face. 142 00:04:48,006 --> 00:04:49,851 - You can't steal, buddy. - Ooh! Sam! 143 00:04:50,554 --> 00:04:52,538 Hey, guys. What can I do you for? 144 00:04:53,022 --> 00:04:55,013 Randy, we think it's about time 145 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:56,782 you update that commercial of yours. 146 00:04:56,848 --> 00:04:58,784 Are you crazy? People love that commercial. 147 00:04:59,244 --> 00:05:01,272 Yes, they love it. But it's outdated. 148 00:05:01,319 --> 00:05:02,754 Yeah, times are changing, 149 00:05:02,821 --> 00:05:04,656 and people want a grocery store that changes with them. 150 00:05:04,723 --> 00:05:06,068 Let's walk! Tell me what you're talking about. 151 00:05:06,093 --> 00:05:07,133 Let's walk, let's walk. 152 00:05:07,693 --> 00:05:09,161 You got to check, because they be stealing the toys 153 00:05:09,227 --> 00:05:10,629 in here, you know what I'm sayin'? 154 00:05:10,696 --> 00:05:11,830 You put little ski masks in there, 155 00:05:11,897 --> 00:05:13,196 you know what I'm sayin'? 156 00:05:13,221 --> 00:05:14,866 Chocolate Duke, baby. You can't... [CHUCKLES] 157 00:05:14,933 --> 00:05:16,702 Yeah, well it's just Count Chocula. 158 00:05:16,768 --> 00:05:17,803 Hmm? 159 00:05:17,869 --> 00:05:19,268 Randy, we were thinking, 160 00:05:19,268 --> 00:05:22,360 for the new commercial, we could update the song, uh, 161 00:05:22,385 --> 00:05:24,376 with different prices for the holidays, 162 00:05:24,401 --> 00:05:27,325 like, uh, "for the 4th of July, 163 00:05:27,350 --> 00:05:29,330 hot dogs are 2.99." 164 00:05:29,373 --> 00:05:31,264 That price just blew my mind..." 165 00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:32,326 Mike! 166 00:05:32,910 --> 00:05:34,444 Don't squeeze the melons like that, man, 167 00:05:34,511 --> 00:05:35,779 I can smell your fingers on it! 168 00:05:35,846 --> 00:05:37,047 I don't do that anymore. 169 00:05:37,114 --> 00:05:38,810 I'm lookin' at ya, man. 170 00:05:38,810 --> 00:05:40,288 No, I'm looking at 'em to buy. 171 00:05:41,018 --> 00:05:43,185 Oh, I'm sorry, man. My apologies, man. 172 00:05:43,185 --> 00:05:44,811 Tsunami of apologies to you. 173 00:05:45,956 --> 00:05:47,791 Okay, that's fine. You can update the song, 174 00:05:47,858 --> 00:05:50,671 but we gotta do something with this goddamn character. 175 00:05:50,671 --> 00:05:52,062 - Yes. - We gotta update him, 176 00:05:52,129 --> 00:05:53,363 you know what I'm sayin'? 177 00:05:53,388 --> 00:05:54,436 We need to get rid of this hat, 178 00:05:54,461 --> 00:05:56,234 give him some black shades, and a... 179 00:05:56,259 --> 00:05:58,068 Like a black shirt, let his muscles pop out. 180 00:05:58,338 --> 00:06:01,284 You want Farmer Zack to lose the straw hat 181 00:06:01,284 --> 00:06:02,774 and have a tight black shirt? 182 00:06:03,674 --> 00:06:05,208 - That's it. - Yeah. 183 00:06:05,275 --> 00:06:06,777 Yeah, we could do that, though. 184 00:06:06,843 --> 00:06:08,045 That's what I mean. Mike! 185 00:06:08,559 --> 00:06:09,813 What you doing, man?! 186 00:06:11,179 --> 00:06:13,312 - He just had his dick in a melon. - Oh. 187 00:06:13,397 --> 00:06:15,097 He's got his dick in a melon! 188 00:06:16,353 --> 00:06:17,788 Oh, she's buying the dick melon. 189 00:06:17,854 --> 00:06:19,256 - She's buying the dick... ma'am! - Ma'am! 190 00:06:19,323 --> 00:06:20,524 - Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am! - Ma'am! 191 00:06:20,591 --> 00:06:21,658 A man had his penis in that. 192 00:06:21,725 --> 00:06:22,960 I'll get you a new one. 193 00:06:24,604 --> 00:06:26,042 _ 194 00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:27,395 Mm-hmm. 195 00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:29,474 _ 196 00:06:29,499 --> 00:06:30,545 [SIGHS] 197 00:06:32,836 --> 00:06:34,872 - Oh, babe. - Hm? 198 00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:36,873 - Got some exciting news. - What? 199 00:06:37,026 --> 00:06:39,862 We just hired an amazing gospel singer 200 00:06:40,130 --> 00:06:43,079 to sing the new and improved Farmer Zack's jingle. 201 00:06:45,708 --> 00:06:47,351 Is it that raggedy bitch Bebe Jenkins? 202 00:06:47,417 --> 00:06:49,853 Oh, no, babe, uh, it's... I was talking about you. 203 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,186 Just trying to be sweet. It's you. 204 00:06:51,186 --> 00:06:52,279 Oh, my God! 205 00:06:52,689 --> 00:06:55,359 Oh, my... that'll be so much fun. 206 00:06:55,928 --> 00:06:57,086 Babe, you're the cutest. 207 00:06:57,086 --> 00:06:58,309 Ah, actually I'm the sexiest. 208 00:06:58,309 --> 00:06:59,863 But yeah, we can re-record the jingle 209 00:06:59,930 --> 00:07:01,186 and never hear the old one again. 210 00:07:01,665 --> 00:07:03,634 Good. Because you acted so weird 211 00:07:03,700 --> 00:07:05,078 when it came on the other day. 212 00:07:06,003 --> 00:07:07,704 Sam, I'm not bothered 213 00:07:07,771 --> 00:07:10,501 by you and your ex being so sexual, 214 00:07:10,501 --> 00:07:11,488 'cause... 215 00:07:12,977 --> 00:07:14,512 we can be sexual, too. 216 00:07:14,570 --> 00:07:17,205 - Oh. - And not just in the studios. 217 00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:18,236 Yeah. 218 00:07:19,401 --> 00:07:20,396 Goodnight. 219 00:07:21,955 --> 00:07:23,845 Hey, YouTubers, it's your girl 220 00:07:23,846 --> 00:07:25,198 Chrissy-Cross comin' at you 221 00:07:25,198 --> 00:07:26,507 with that new hotness... 222 00:07:26,894 --> 00:07:29,130 A natural hair up-do. 223 00:07:29,424 --> 00:07:31,466 Just follow the steps in this tutorial, 224 00:07:31,532 --> 00:07:33,501 put on a dress that shows off your figure, 225 00:07:33,568 --> 00:07:35,436 and get out of the house! 226 00:07:35,503 --> 00:07:36,753 Why are you talking like that? 227 00:07:36,754 --> 00:07:38,537 Dang it, Tim. Get out of the shot. 228 00:07:40,049 --> 00:07:42,127 Sam is gonna re-record the Farmer Zack's jingle 229 00:07:42,193 --> 00:07:43,161 with Shannon. 230 00:07:43,228 --> 00:07:44,427 - Really? - Mm-mh. 231 00:07:44,596 --> 00:07:46,394 Sam and Molly had such good chemistry 232 00:07:46,419 --> 00:07:47,614 in that song. 233 00:07:47,747 --> 00:07:49,834 - And no offense to Shannon... - None taken. 234 00:07:49,901 --> 00:07:50,969 But it just won't be the same. 235 00:07:51,035 --> 00:07:52,237 - I know. - I mean, 236 00:07:52,303 --> 00:07:53,638 she's a perfectly nice girl. 237 00:07:53,705 --> 00:07:55,406 - Perfectly nice. - But you can tell 238 00:07:55,473 --> 00:07:57,262 when two people just aren't right for each other, 239 00:07:57,315 --> 00:07:59,087 Yeah. When Sam's around her, 240 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,845 he's completely lost his star factor. 241 00:08:01,495 --> 00:08:03,143 - What? - His star factor. 242 00:08:03,168 --> 00:08:05,214 That special something that makes you go from 243 00:08:05,239 --> 00:08:07,672 a face in the crowd to a face in lights. 244 00:08:08,372 --> 00:08:09,769 - You gonna tell him? - No. 245 00:08:09,794 --> 00:08:11,356 I'm gonna pretend to be supportive. 246 00:08:11,871 --> 00:08:13,124 Good for you. 247 00:08:13,277 --> 00:08:15,317 Now get out of here. I'm making a tutorial. 248 00:08:15,624 --> 00:08:18,251 And don't cross through in the background. 249 00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:20,131 Why not? 250 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,004 'Cause when you do, 251 00:08:22,176 --> 00:08:24,202 people in the comments section roast you. 252 00:08:24,683 --> 00:08:25,937 I mean, they light you up. 253 00:08:26,378 --> 00:08:29,409 [SCOFFS] Like I care what people who watch your tutorials 254 00:08:29,434 --> 00:08:30,675 say about me. 255 00:08:30,929 --> 00:08:32,043 What is one? 256 00:08:33,885 --> 00:08:36,154 "When did Chucky grow up and get ugly?" 257 00:08:36,179 --> 00:08:38,314 Chucky grow up to get ugly?! 258 00:08:38,381 --> 00:08:40,377 Chucky's ugly as a boy! 259 00:08:40,377 --> 00:08:42,026 Bad logic. Next. 260 00:08:42,051 --> 00:08:43,061 [SIGHS] 261 00:08:43,553 --> 00:08:45,257 "Look like the McRib is back." 262 00:08:45,454 --> 00:08:47,456 [SPUTTERING] How am I a McRib?! 263 00:08:47,523 --> 00:08:50,226 I'm a man with a big old hog! 264 00:08:50,293 --> 00:08:52,495 Put that in the video! I... I don't care. 265 00:08:52,562 --> 00:08:55,131 Ha, ha, that's... I don't care. 266 00:08:55,156 --> 00:08:56,145 Okay, then. 267 00:08:58,835 --> 00:09:00,536 Hey, YouTubers, it's your girl, 268 00:09:00,603 --> 00:09:02,004 Chrissy Cross, coming to... 269 00:09:02,071 --> 00:09:03,172 What you got to say about this right here? 270 00:09:03,197 --> 00:09:04,447 Tim, no! 271 00:09:04,488 --> 00:09:09,142 BOTH: ? And it's always bargain time at Farmer Zack's ? 272 00:09:09,196 --> 00:09:11,986 ? You'll get your nickels back ? 273 00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:16,937 BOTH: ? Yeah, it's always bargain time at Farmer Zack's ? 274 00:09:17,003 --> 00:09:20,474 ? Farmer Zaaaa... ? 275 00:09:20,540 --> 00:09:22,373 ? Aaaack's ? 276 00:09:22,909 --> 00:09:26,113 ? Oh, yeah, yeah ? 277 00:09:26,179 --> 00:09:27,814 ? Yeah ? Whoo! 278 00:09:27,881 --> 00:09:29,516 In His name. How was that? 279 00:09:29,583 --> 00:09:30,684 That was great, babe. 280 00:09:30,751 --> 00:09:32,134 - Good? - Great job! 281 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,048 Great job. 282 00:09:34,642 --> 00:09:36,421 That wasn't sexy. 283 00:09:36,421 --> 00:09:37,756 Not at all. 284 00:09:38,191 --> 00:09:39,960 It was like feeling up a girl 285 00:09:40,026 --> 00:09:41,328 and there's turds in her bra. 286 00:09:41,395 --> 00:09:43,831 Turds in her bra? Why would she have turds in her bra? 287 00:09:44,907 --> 00:09:46,535 It's a prank, idiot. 288 00:09:47,067 --> 00:09:48,058 Ugh. 289 00:09:48,058 --> 00:09:50,560 ? Farmer Zaaaa... ? 290 00:09:50,627 --> 00:09:52,846 ? Aaaack's ? 291 00:09:55,932 --> 00:09:57,347 I don't like it, guys. 292 00:09:57,701 --> 00:09:58,986 It's not making me horny. 293 00:09:59,336 --> 00:10:01,037 - I'm sorry? - It didn't give me wood. 294 00:10:01,104 --> 00:10:04,674 Look. No wood. Flat as a board. You know? 295 00:10:05,096 --> 00:10:07,023 Well, that's a piss dot right there. 296 00:10:07,577 --> 00:10:09,980 Sometimes when I urine, I don't stop it all the way. 297 00:10:10,046 --> 00:10:12,223 And, you know, it comes out on my clothes. 298 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,798 I mean, I don't know what you guys did. 299 00:10:14,863 --> 00:10:16,119 You did something different, but... 300 00:10:16,186 --> 00:10:18,221 Well, actually, we brought in a professional singer. 301 00:10:18,411 --> 00:10:20,205 Mm-mm. Bring back that nice lady. 302 00:10:20,457 --> 00:10:22,259 - What's her name? - Molly. 303 00:10:22,325 --> 00:10:24,594 Yeah. About this farmer thing. 304 00:10:24,661 --> 00:10:26,429 Yeah, we gave him the tight black shirt, 305 00:10:26,496 --> 00:10:28,064 and we gave him the cool sunglasses. 306 00:10:28,514 --> 00:10:30,567 Good. But you know what I'm thinking? 307 00:10:30,634 --> 00:10:31,792 Leather pants. 308 00:10:32,369 --> 00:10:35,172 Farmer Zack's gonna wear leather pants? 309 00:10:35,172 --> 00:10:36,201 And... 310 00:10:36,958 --> 00:10:38,546 a black trench coat. 311 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:41,004 Yeah, we can do all that. 312 00:10:41,029 --> 00:10:42,068 Thanks, guys. 313 00:10:42,529 --> 00:10:43,990 Well, this sucks. 314 00:10:43,990 --> 00:10:45,848 I mean, re-recording the song with my ex-girlfriend's 315 00:10:45,873 --> 00:10:47,308 gonna be much more awkward. 316 00:10:47,333 --> 00:10:48,600 Yeah, I completely agree. 317 00:10:48,718 --> 00:10:50,220 I mean, the Shannon and me version 318 00:10:50,286 --> 00:10:51,921 is better than the Molly and me version. 319 00:10:51,988 --> 00:10:53,957 - Technically. - Yeah, technically. 320 00:10:54,023 --> 00:10:56,626 I just Randy's probably just coming from a place 321 00:10:56,693 --> 00:10:58,661 where he feels the other version was more fun. 322 00:10:58,728 --> 00:10:59,836 Yeah, I see that. 323 00:10:59,836 --> 00:11:01,798 But the version with Shannon was great. 324 00:11:01,865 --> 00:11:03,900 - [TOGETHER] Technically. - Technically it is. 325 00:11:04,090 --> 00:11:05,317 - Technically. - Technically. 326 00:11:05,902 --> 00:11:09,305 [GROOVY MUSIC] 327 00:11:09,330 --> 00:11:10,337 Hey, pig. 328 00:11:11,307 --> 00:11:12,742 Get ourselves some lettuce and tomato, 329 00:11:12,809 --> 00:11:14,911 and we got ourselves a BLT. 330 00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:17,180 Careful. Before I turn this body cam off 331 00:11:17,247 --> 00:11:18,831 and go to town on your ass. 332 00:11:18,856 --> 00:11:20,250 You ain't wearing a body cam. 333 00:11:20,316 --> 00:11:21,317 Whoops. 334 00:11:21,384 --> 00:11:23,486 [LAUGHTER] 335 00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:25,567 There she is. How are you, Molly? 336 00:11:25,592 --> 00:11:27,057 - Hey, good. - Great to see you. 337 00:11:27,123 --> 00:11:28,771 - Good to see you too, Tim. - Yeah. 338 00:11:29,259 --> 00:11:30,627 Sam, you're looking well. 339 00:11:30,693 --> 00:11:32,028 And sexy, I know. 340 00:11:32,095 --> 00:11:33,296 Molly, I need to talk to you. 341 00:11:33,363 --> 00:11:34,735 I'll give you some space. 342 00:11:36,205 --> 00:11:39,699 Molly, we're shooting a new Farmer Zack's commercial. 343 00:11:40,517 --> 00:11:42,415 And we need you to sing the jingle again. 344 00:11:43,173 --> 00:11:45,408 - With you? - Yeah, with me. 345 00:11:45,475 --> 00:11:46,643 Like last time? 346 00:11:46,709 --> 00:11:47,644 Hey, babe. 347 00:11:47,710 --> 00:11:48,745 Like last time. 348 00:11:48,812 --> 00:11:50,313 My name is Tim. 349 00:11:50,686 --> 00:11:52,449 Well, I ain't seen anything pretty as you 350 00:11:52,515 --> 00:11:53,583 in about a minute or two. 351 00:11:53,650 --> 00:11:56,086 [CHUCKLES] Doubt it. 352 00:11:56,111 --> 00:11:57,376 Shut up. Sorry, Tim. 353 00:11:57,401 --> 00:11:59,489 It's fine. I actually need this right now. 354 00:11:59,556 --> 00:12:01,591 Somebody called me Chucky on the Internet. 355 00:12:01,951 --> 00:12:03,693 Like a handsome version of Chucky? 356 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,992 [LAUGHS] You. Shut up. 357 00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:08,465 [GIGGLING] 358 00:12:08,531 --> 00:12:11,134 Sam, the last time we sang that song, 359 00:12:11,201 --> 00:12:12,368 we were in love. 360 00:12:12,435 --> 00:12:14,314 Yeah, we almost got engaged. 361 00:12:14,773 --> 00:12:16,206 I put a ring in a piece of cake. 362 00:12:16,272 --> 00:12:17,497 I ate the cake. 363 00:12:17,741 --> 00:12:19,509 And then, when we went through your stool, 364 00:12:20,061 --> 00:12:21,585 there were two diamond rings in there. 365 00:12:22,157 --> 00:12:23,823 That's how I knew you were cheating on me. 366 00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:26,616 Sam, I'm still so sorry about that. 367 00:12:26,683 --> 00:12:28,351 We don't have to go down that road. 368 00:12:28,418 --> 00:12:30,553 Just... re-record the jingle with me, okay? 369 00:12:30,972 --> 00:12:32,058 Yeah, sure. 370 00:12:32,555 --> 00:12:33,890 I figure I owe you one. 371 00:12:34,355 --> 00:12:36,432 Molly? Can I get your set of keys? 372 00:12:36,457 --> 00:12:37,601 He wants to get let out of there. 373 00:12:37,601 --> 00:12:38,746 He wants to get a better look at my body. 374 00:12:38,746 --> 00:12:40,604 No! He murdered someone. 375 00:12:41,035 --> 00:12:42,192 Ricky! 376 00:12:42,246 --> 00:12:45,589 ? It's bargain time at Farmer Zack's ? 377 00:12:45,781 --> 00:12:49,318 [GIGGLES] ? Farmer Zack's ? 378 00:12:49,385 --> 00:12:51,020 - It's just so catchy. - [MUMBLING] 379 00:12:51,086 --> 00:12:52,922 ? If you wanna save money... ? 380 00:12:52,988 --> 00:12:54,790 Maybe that's enough singing for tonight. 381 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,446 Hey, YouTubers, it's that Chrissy-Issy-Issy 382 00:12:57,471 --> 00:12:59,607 coming at you with another hairstyle... 383 00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:02,131 "I love your tutorials, 384 00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,590 but your husband's not hot enough for you." 385 00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:04,765 Disagree. 386 00:13:05,467 --> 00:13:07,564 "Gross husband." Disagree. 387 00:13:07,589 --> 00:13:09,071 "This girl's married to the Penguin." 388 00:13:09,138 --> 00:13:10,840 No, she's not! Disagree! 389 00:13:10,906 --> 00:13:13,542 "Watch out, Chrissy, there's a fat ghost in your room." 390 00:13:13,609 --> 00:13:14,643 Bullshit! 391 00:13:14,864 --> 00:13:16,053 [EXHALES] 392 00:13:16,479 --> 00:13:17,654 [GRUNTS] 393 00:13:19,516 --> 00:13:22,074 Listen up, society. 394 00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:24,553 You are now ordered 395 00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:26,689 to cease and desist the teasing 396 00:13:26,755 --> 00:13:28,958 of one Tim Cramblin. 397 00:13:29,024 --> 00:13:31,923 We are the agents of chaos. 398 00:13:32,361 --> 00:13:35,130 Stop teasing him! 399 00:13:36,028 --> 00:13:37,700 Tim, you clogged the toilet again. 400 00:13:37,766 --> 00:13:38,843 As if. 401 00:13:39,017 --> 00:13:41,653 Stop putting baby wipes in the toilet. 402 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:42,888 - Shut up. - What? 403 00:13:42,954 --> 00:13:44,442 Nothing. Sorry, sweetheart. 404 00:13:45,054 --> 00:13:47,759 Yeah. I love the trench coat, 405 00:13:47,826 --> 00:13:49,024 the tight muscle shirt, 406 00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:50,357 the leather pants... 407 00:13:50,424 --> 00:13:52,264 Oh, the shades, the shades. 408 00:13:52,856 --> 00:13:55,932 Yeah. You know what'd be really cool? 409 00:13:56,075 --> 00:13:58,012 If we made him black. 410 00:13:58,294 --> 00:13:59,365 Yeah. 411 00:13:59,365 --> 00:14:01,300 Hell yes! And you know what? 412 00:14:01,367 --> 00:14:03,228 I wouldn't be mad if he had a sword. 413 00:14:04,055 --> 00:14:05,723 Yeah, but Tim, what if Molly and I 414 00:14:05,790 --> 00:14:07,886 reach the same depths of sexuality as last time? 415 00:14:07,886 --> 00:14:09,320 I mean, that would be cheating, right? 416 00:14:09,387 --> 00:14:10,889 Yeah, it would, but you'll be fine. 417 00:14:10,955 --> 00:14:12,857 I mean, I dressed down to look less attractive. 418 00:14:12,924 --> 00:14:14,159 Sorry, bud. 419 00:14:14,225 --> 00:14:15,627 You look like a friggin' smoke show. 420 00:14:15,693 --> 00:14:17,219 I know. I'm a hot piece of ass. 421 00:14:17,244 --> 00:14:18,429 - Perfect ten. - Mm-hmm. 422 00:14:18,496 --> 00:14:19,731 Girls want to bang me, and guys want to be me 423 00:14:19,756 --> 00:14:20,757 being banged by them. 424 00:14:20,782 --> 00:14:21,750 Sucks. 425 00:14:21,775 --> 00:14:22,876 Maybe I shouldn't do this. 426 00:14:23,228 --> 00:14:25,203 Calm down. It's just Molly. 427 00:14:25,270 --> 00:14:26,504 [ELEVATOR DINGS] 428 00:14:26,571 --> 00:14:28,473 [SENSUAL JAZZ MUSIC] 429 00:14:28,540 --> 00:14:31,476 ? Some women can make a man ? 430 00:14:31,543 --> 00:14:32,677 ? 431 00:14:32,744 --> 00:14:36,481 ? A very good wife ? 432 00:14:36,548 --> 00:14:39,584 ? But let me tell you, crooked woman's ? 433 00:14:39,651 --> 00:14:42,821 ? Not worth the sacrifice ? 434 00:14:42,887 --> 00:14:49,427 ? 435 00:14:49,494 --> 00:14:53,198 ? Oh well, I don't want no ? 436 00:14:53,264 --> 00:14:54,632 ? Crooked wom... 437 00:14:54,699 --> 00:14:55,783 Hi, Sam. 438 00:14:56,298 --> 00:14:57,936 Hey, Molly. You look great. 439 00:14:58,300 --> 00:15:00,405 Thanks. I was in a prostitution sting. 440 00:15:00,676 --> 00:15:01,689 High-end. 441 00:15:02,373 --> 00:15:04,008 Well, I bet you got a lot of offers 442 00:15:04,075 --> 00:15:06,311 for HJs or BJs or whatever's else was on the menu. 443 00:15:06,336 --> 00:15:07,369 I bet they wanted it all. 444 00:15:07,450 --> 00:15:09,072 Who cares? Molly, come on. Let's do this. 445 00:15:10,872 --> 00:15:14,462 Okay, you two. Make love to my ears. 446 00:15:14,977 --> 00:15:18,581 Bareback, baby. No Jimmy. Raw dog. 447 00:15:20,549 --> 00:15:23,752 [PIANO MUSIC] 448 00:15:23,819 --> 00:15:25,200 ? If you w... 449 00:15:25,454 --> 00:15:26,388 Sorry, I, uh... 450 00:15:26,455 --> 00:15:27,633 - [LAUGHING] - Can you start over? 451 00:15:27,990 --> 00:15:29,291 You came in a little late there. 452 00:15:29,358 --> 00:15:30,959 - Yeah, I did. - [LAUGHING] 453 00:15:31,026 --> 00:15:32,728 Oh, my God, super cute. 454 00:15:32,794 --> 00:15:35,364 Let's do it again, okay? Raw dog. No raincoat. 455 00:15:35,683 --> 00:15:37,107 Sam, I like your outfit. 456 00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:39,413 You look sexy. 457 00:15:40,269 --> 00:15:42,638 ? If you want to save money ? 458 00:15:42,704 --> 00:15:45,207 ? More than just some of the time ? 459 00:15:45,274 --> 00:15:47,643 ? It's an undeniable fact ? 460 00:15:47,709 --> 00:15:52,581 ? If you want to save dollars dime after dime after dime ? 461 00:15:52,648 --> 00:15:55,117 ? It's an undeniable fact ? 462 00:15:55,183 --> 00:15:59,855 BOTH: ? And it's always bargain time at Farmer Zack's ? 463 00:15:59,921 --> 00:16:02,557 ? You get your nickels back ? 464 00:16:02,624 --> 00:16:07,429 BOTH: ? And it's always bargain time at Farmer Zack's ? 465 00:16:07,496 --> 00:16:10,832 ? Farmer Zack's ? 466 00:16:10,899 --> 00:16:12,301 ? Cupid's got a secret ? 467 00:16:12,367 --> 00:16:14,937 ? Chocolates just 10.99 ? 468 00:16:15,003 --> 00:16:17,773 ? Perfect for your Valentine ? 469 00:16:17,839 --> 00:16:19,908 ? For your romantic dinner ? 470 00:16:19,975 --> 00:16:22,544 ? Bring home a bottle of wine ? 471 00:16:22,611 --> 00:16:25,080 ? You'll have a really good time ? 472 00:16:25,147 --> 00:16:29,952 BOTH: ? And it's always bargain time at Farmer Zack's ? 473 00:16:30,018 --> 00:16:33,021 ? Farmer Zack's ? 474 00:16:33,088 --> 00:16:37,499 ? 475 00:16:41,382 --> 00:16:43,038 Oh! 476 00:16:43,038 --> 00:16:44,366 Ladies and gentlemen, 477 00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:46,468 we have genuine wood. 478 00:16:46,535 --> 00:16:48,015 - Oh! - Huh? 479 00:16:48,529 --> 00:16:49,552 Look at that! 480 00:16:50,074 --> 00:16:51,606 That's a piss dot right there, 481 00:16:51,673 --> 00:16:53,048 but it's old. 482 00:16:53,241 --> 00:16:56,211 [MELLOW MUSIC] 483 00:16:56,278 --> 00:17:03,452 ? 484 00:17:04,419 --> 00:17:06,269 Tim, back at the studio, 485 00:17:07,155 --> 00:17:09,629 - I came. - Cool. 486 00:17:10,122 --> 00:17:11,627 I mean, there's a chemistry there. 487 00:17:11,693 --> 00:17:13,295 - I can't explain it. - Yeah. 488 00:17:13,362 --> 00:17:14,963 I mean, Shannon's so nice. 489 00:17:15,030 --> 00:17:16,258 So nice. 490 00:17:16,765 --> 00:17:18,092 Tim, I don't know what to do. 491 00:17:18,967 --> 00:17:21,069 I think you should do... 492 00:17:21,136 --> 00:17:23,007 whatever it is you're about to do. 493 00:17:23,472 --> 00:17:24,669 Break up with her? 494 00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:26,160 Maybe. I mean... 495 00:17:29,044 --> 00:17:32,014 As long as you get to hit them skins one last time. 496 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,849 Oh, Tim, come on. What are you doing? 497 00:17:33,915 --> 00:17:35,584 - Don't talk like that. - I don't know. 498 00:17:35,651 --> 00:17:37,915 It's this hat. It's changing me. 499 00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:39,126 Throw it out. 500 00:17:39,588 --> 00:17:40,673 I tried. 501 00:17:44,593 --> 00:17:46,862 ? Sweet chariot ? 502 00:17:46,929 --> 00:17:48,830 ? Comin' for to carry me... ? 503 00:17:48,897 --> 00:17:51,059 - Hey, babe. - Hey, Shannon. 504 00:17:51,335 --> 00:17:52,399 What's wrong? 505 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:55,595 I don't think this is working. 506 00:17:56,753 --> 00:17:58,207 What? [CHUCKLES] 507 00:17:58,274 --> 00:18:00,243 This is coming out of nowhere. 508 00:18:00,309 --> 00:18:01,677 Is there something wrong with the song? 509 00:18:01,744 --> 00:18:03,112 No, uh... well, 510 00:18:03,179 --> 00:18:05,596 we did have to re-record the song with Molly. 511 00:18:05,706 --> 00:18:06,916 But it's only because the... 512 00:18:06,983 --> 00:18:08,951 The client thought there was no spark in ours, 513 00:18:09,018 --> 00:18:10,286 which is kind of my point. 514 00:18:10,353 --> 00:18:12,147 There's, like, no spark here. 515 00:18:12,172 --> 00:18:13,423 What are you gonna do? 516 00:18:13,489 --> 00:18:15,627 Spend the rest of your life hanging out with Tim 517 00:18:15,652 --> 00:18:17,528 telling vulgar high school stories about your ass 518 00:18:17,593 --> 00:18:18,661 and your testicles? 519 00:18:18,728 --> 00:18:20,126 Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 520 00:18:20,958 --> 00:18:23,332 I never said my balls came out, okay? 521 00:18:23,399 --> 00:18:24,434 I mean, they did. 522 00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:25,732 Got a huge laugh. 523 00:18:26,936 --> 00:18:29,742 Look, Shannon, you're perfect. 524 00:18:30,874 --> 00:18:33,417 But we're not perfect for each other. 525 00:18:33,843 --> 00:18:35,445 And I don't think either of us should settle 526 00:18:35,511 --> 00:18:36,679 for anything less. 527 00:18:36,746 --> 00:18:39,715 [REFLECTIVE MUSIC] 528 00:18:39,782 --> 00:18:46,222 ? 529 00:18:46,447 --> 00:18:47,448 Sam... 530 00:18:48,090 --> 00:18:49,325 I just want you to know 531 00:18:49,392 --> 00:18:51,930 that I never felt like I was settling. 532 00:18:53,429 --> 00:18:54,380 I did. 533 00:18:54,764 --> 00:18:56,132 I... I felt like I was settling. 534 00:18:57,767 --> 00:18:59,202 - Damn it, Sam. - Oh, sorry. 535 00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:00,770 S... ah, oof. No, I'm sorry. 536 00:19:00,837 --> 00:19:01,870 [SPUTTERS] 537 00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:05,013 Love you. 538 00:19:06,175 --> 00:19:07,510 Oh, I'm s... I'm sorry. 539 00:19:07,577 --> 00:19:10,093 - Listen up, society. - Tim. 540 00:19:10,302 --> 00:19:12,315 You posted that video under my name? 541 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:13,983 - No. - Cease and desist... 542 00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:16,452 Why, what happened? Did you get hacked by Anonymous? 543 00:19:16,519 --> 00:19:17,987 Well, I did it. 544 00:19:18,054 --> 00:19:21,524 Slingin' single Sammy is back town, baby. 545 00:19:22,009 --> 00:19:23,427 I'm sorry, buddy. That must've been hard. 546 00:19:23,493 --> 00:19:25,625 It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. 547 00:19:25,927 --> 00:19:27,166 She was sweet. 548 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,276 And Mom and Dad will be crushed. 549 00:19:29,412 --> 00:19:30,666 But ten years from now, 550 00:19:30,733 --> 00:19:31,968 you don't want to wake up and realize 551 00:19:32,034 --> 00:19:33,269 you married the wrong person. 552 00:19:33,336 --> 00:19:34,704 - Yep, yeah. - That's true. 553 00:19:34,771 --> 00:19:35,872 Chrissy's right. She could've turned out 554 00:19:35,938 --> 00:19:37,240 to be a child molester. 555 00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:38,541 - What? - What? 556 00:19:38,738 --> 00:19:40,084 Well, I'm just... I'm just saying, 557 00:19:40,109 --> 00:19:42,411 Chrissy's saying, ten years is a long time. 558 00:19:42,478 --> 00:19:43,780 A lot could happen. 559 00:19:43,846 --> 00:19:45,281 She could turned into a child molester. 560 00:19:45,348 --> 00:19:46,949 That is not what I'm saying. 561 00:19:47,016 --> 00:19:48,618 Tim, how do you "turn into" a child molester? 562 00:19:48,684 --> 00:19:51,053 Uh, you get molested by one, Sam. 563 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:53,055 It's not like getting bit by a werewolf. 564 00:19:53,122 --> 00:19:55,124 Uh, whatever, I'm just agreeing, 565 00:19:55,191 --> 00:19:57,427 Mom and Dad are gonna be crushed. 566 00:19:57,583 --> 00:19:59,896 Hey, to Shannon. 567 00:19:59,962 --> 00:20:01,364 - To Shannon. - To Shannon. 568 00:20:01,431 --> 00:20:02,543 God bless her. 569 00:20:04,367 --> 00:20:06,269 Get her off these streets before she [BLEEP] a kid. 570 00:20:06,294 --> 00:20:07,511 Baby, no. 571 00:20:07,612 --> 00:20:10,177 _ 572 00:20:10,208 --> 00:20:11,442 ? And it's always bargain time ? 573 00:20:11,509 --> 00:20:13,278 ? At Farmer Zack's ? 574 00:20:13,344 --> 00:20:15,554 ? Farmer Zack's ? 575 00:20:16,052 --> 00:20:17,912 Whoa! Was that Blade? 576 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,120 Blade is so freaking cool. 577 00:20:20,317 --> 00:20:23,053 And now moving onto the lighter side of the news, 578 00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:24,855 what's actually in your dog's food? 579 00:20:24,922 --> 00:20:27,591 The surprising answer might make you rethink 580 00:20:27,658 --> 00:20:28,993 eating dog food. 581 00:20:29,059 --> 00:20:32,096 [TECHNO MUSIC] 582 00:20:32,162 --> 00:20:39,336 ? 583 00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:52,317 Mike! 584 00:20:52,942 --> 00:20:53,984 Don't you do... 585 00:20:54,051 --> 00:20:55,626 Don't you do it! Stop! 586 00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:02,424 [BOTH MUMBLING] 587 00:21:05,795 --> 00:21:06,883 Uh-huh. 588 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,821 Right. Right. 589 00:21:11,590 --> 00:21:12,859 Well, I'll be danged. 590 00:21:12,909 --> 00:21:17,459 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40537

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