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1
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[UPBEAT, FUNKY MUSIC]
2
00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:06,840
?
3
00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:08,804
This is delicious, Mrs. Cramblin.
4
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I know it's terrible, honey, but thank you.
5
00:00:13,456 --> 00:00:14,757
No, he said it was delicious.
6
00:00:14,790 --> 00:00:17,782
Oh, Trevor, do you wanna
join us for Sunday dinner?
7
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[SUCKS TEETH] No can do.
8
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Trevor, your mother
invited you to sit down.
9
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- Sit down.
- Hey, uh, Jerry,
10
00:00:23,283 --> 00:00:25,416
why don't... why don't you eat my ass?
11
00:00:26,497 --> 00:00:27,643
Rude.
12
00:00:28,825 --> 00:00:30,157
What is he still doing in the house?
13
00:00:30,190 --> 00:00:31,432
I thought he moved into the house
14
00:00:31,457 --> 00:00:32,904
with, like, 15 of his friends.
15
00:00:32,904 --> 00:00:34,561
It didn't work out.
16
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They turned out all to
be backstabbers and liars.
17
00:00:37,931 --> 00:00:39,132
All 15 of them.
18
00:00:39,166 --> 00:00:40,873
They were nasty to him.
19
00:00:40,873 --> 00:00:42,502
- Boy needs a job.
- Jerry.
20
00:00:42,536 --> 00:00:44,872
- He got fired from Le Shish?
- My dad got him that job.
21
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It wasn't his fault.
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They were nasty to him.
23
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They wouldn't let him
choose what time he came in.
24
00:00:49,543 --> 00:00:51,111
So he just didn't show
up, is what you're saying?
25
00:00:51,144 --> 00:00:53,549
Honestly, he has to sleep in
26
00:00:53,574 --> 00:00:55,782
or he'll lose his voice.
27
00:00:55,816 --> 00:00:58,596
Besides, he doesn't have time for a job.
28
00:00:59,152 --> 00:01:00,877
He's very busy with Rochu.
29
00:01:01,765 --> 00:01:03,174
What is Rochu?
30
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Rochu is an Ultra Beast Trevor created.
31
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Look at the beautiful pictures he makes.
32
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Mom, don't put that on the fridge!
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The details are fantastic, Chrissy.
34
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Now, Rochu is the king
of the Banglo people.
35
00:01:17,604 --> 00:01:21,174
And he defeated Malgor
in the Battle of Light.
36
00:01:21,208 --> 00:01:23,173
- Oh.
- He's a Lich Priest.
37
00:01:23,173 --> 00:01:24,411
Uh... is that how you say it, Jerry?
38
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Am I... Lich... Lich Priest?
39
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I don't freakin' know.
40
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It's a bunch of cartoons
with their dicks out.
41
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- Jerry!
- They are, Sue.
42
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Some artist. Asked him to draw
43
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a picture of his mother
and me in Wings jerseys,
44
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he gives me a freakin' drippin' hog.
45
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Chrissy, you should see
the details on that hog.
46
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It's as if he's seen it.
47
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Down... to... the... veins.
48
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? Next time ?
49
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? When they ask you ?
50
00:01:49,503 --> 00:01:51,404
? Where you're from ?
51
00:01:51,438 --> 00:01:53,006
? You gon' say Detroit city ?
52
00:01:53,039 --> 00:01:56,062
? When we get back
on our feet, yeah ?
53
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Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com
54
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Oh, honey, that was great.
55
00:02:02,582 --> 00:02:06,063
- I'll clean up.
- [ALL PROTESTING]
56
00:02:06,319 --> 00:02:07,821
No, no, no, stop. No, no, no, stop, stop.
57
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I said stop!
58
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I said I'd clean up.
59
00:02:11,233 --> 00:02:12,663
- Put it back!
- Yeah.
60
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:14,928
Here. Give me that.
61
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Sam, you got two answers
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when a woman tells you what to do.
63
00:02:20,178 --> 00:02:22,481
"Okay," and "Yes, honey."
64
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:24,795
Is that Tim Allen?
65
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- Yes, it is.
- Oh, okay, yeah.
66
00:02:29,843 --> 00:02:31,278
Excuse me, I'd like to sit down, please.
67
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[SCOFFS] I was sitting here first.
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- I don't care.
- This is the spot I want.
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- I don't care.
- Well, there it is.
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- Move...
- So.
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Ohh! [COUGHING]
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You only hit me in my
stomach after I just ate,
73
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- you frickin' idiot!
- Then I'll never get to
74
00:02:44,157 --> 00:02:45,692
- hit your fat ass.
- Ohh. Well, you shouldn't hit,
75
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- you bag of bolts.
- Whatever.
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00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:48,699
God, I miss freakin' Shanahan.
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Mom, you can't just let Trevor
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move back into the house
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every time he screws up.
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Tim, he isn't like you.
81
00:02:56,961 --> 00:02:58,663
You weren't here for the divorce.
82
00:02:58,901 --> 00:03:00,202
That affected Trevor.
83
00:03:00,236 --> 00:03:02,696
He was 18. He should've
already been out of the house.
84
00:03:03,397 --> 00:03:05,192
I don't know what to do.
85
00:03:05,224 --> 00:03:06,456
I'm trying.
86
00:03:06,643 --> 00:03:09,276
Him and Jerry are at each other's throats.
87
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:11,468
Trevor tosses him around like a ragdoll.
88
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He has your father's strength.
89
00:03:12,878 --> 00:03:14,905
He hit Jerry in the back
of the head with a chair
90
00:03:14,938 --> 00:03:16,214
and then Rock Bottomed him.
91
00:03:16,214 --> 00:03:17,541
- He Rock Bottomed him?
- Yes.
92
00:03:17,574 --> 00:03:18,730
That's a finisher.
93
00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:20,959
He needs motivation. Like you.
94
00:03:22,579 --> 00:03:24,448
What if you gave him a job at the office?
95
00:03:24,481 --> 00:03:26,570
- [GROANS]
- Show him how it's done.
96
00:03:27,122 --> 00:03:28,163
Ah...
97
00:03:28,673 --> 00:03:30,287
Maybe some structure would be good for him.
98
00:03:30,321 --> 00:03:32,122
And he could stay with you
and Chrissy for a while.
99
00:03:32,156 --> 00:03:34,420
- Oh!
- Just to get him started.
100
00:03:34,541 --> 00:03:36,794
Transition is very hard for Trevor.
101
00:03:36,827 --> 00:03:38,362
- Oh, Mom.
- That way he could
102
00:03:38,395 --> 00:03:39,830
go straight to work with you.
103
00:03:39,863 --> 00:03:41,799
75 is a nightmare in the morning.
104
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He hits traffic, he turns around
105
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- and goes to the Taco Bell.
- Oh.
106
00:03:45,636 --> 00:03:47,291
I'll run it by Sam and Chrissy.
107
00:03:49,873 --> 00:03:51,287
- It'll be fine.
- Oh!
108
00:03:51,312 --> 00:03:52,609
I could talk to him. It'll be fine.
109
00:03:52,643 --> 00:03:54,044
Oh, Timmy! Thank you.
110
00:03:54,078 --> 00:03:55,779
You're a very good brother.
111
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- Love you, Mom.
- Very good.
112
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[PLAYING KEYBOARD]
113
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Hey, bud. What's up?
114
00:04:00,843 --> 00:04:01,952
Do not enter without knocking.
115
00:04:01,986 --> 00:04:03,253
Go back out and try again.
116
00:04:03,287 --> 00:04:04,788
No, I'm not gonna do that.
I'm already in here, Trevor.
117
00:04:04,822 --> 00:04:05,942
That's stupid.
118
00:04:07,291 --> 00:04:10,689
Hey, um, Mom told me that
you were in between jobs
119
00:04:10,689 --> 00:04:13,530
and we have an opening at Cramblin Duvet.
120
00:04:13,564 --> 00:04:16,200
Oh, what happened? Did Sam
get chronic diarrhea and die?
121
00:04:16,233 --> 00:04:17,635
No, don't even joke about Sam's death.
122
00:04:17,668 --> 00:04:19,036
We're gonna die at the same exact time.
123
00:04:19,069 --> 00:04:21,165
Even if we're miles apart,
our hearts will just know.
124
00:04:21,591 --> 00:04:23,240
You can stay with me and Chrissy.
125
00:04:23,273 --> 00:04:25,717
I think we could really use
your help around the office.
126
00:04:26,276 --> 00:04:28,078
You know, I could show you how it's done.
127
00:04:28,112 --> 00:04:30,065
Actually, I don't need
to be shown how it's done.
128
00:04:30,065 --> 00:04:31,258
I know how it's done.
129
00:04:31,615 --> 00:04:33,150
Well, you don't know how it's done,
130
00:04:33,183 --> 00:04:34,418
but I think with a little bit of work,
131
00:04:34,451 --> 00:04:35,486
you'd be pretty good at it.
132
00:04:35,519 --> 00:04:36,720
Yes, I do know how it's done
133
00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,122
and I could do advertising in my sleep.
134
00:04:38,155 --> 00:04:39,390
You're actually not good at advertising.
135
00:04:39,423 --> 00:04:40,424
You've never done it before,
136
00:04:40,457 --> 00:04:41,725
so how would you know if you're good at it?
137
00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:42,826
I do know how to do it.
138
00:04:42,860 --> 00:04:43,827
Okay, well then, do it, then.
139
00:04:43,861 --> 00:04:45,248
Fine, shithead! I'll do it!
140
00:04:45,249 --> 00:04:47,054
Do not call me a shithead!
141
00:04:47,197 --> 00:04:49,721
I'm giving you a job, a place to live!
142
00:04:49,721 --> 00:04:52,065
Oh, my God. Wow, thank you so much.
143
00:04:52,065 --> 00:04:53,937
- Oh, thank you!
- Oh, Mother Theresa!
144
00:04:53,971 --> 00:04:55,205
- I need to offer my body to you.
- Oh, thank you.
145
00:04:55,239 --> 00:04:56,907
Thank you so much. Okay, come on. Let's go!
146
00:04:56,940 --> 00:04:58,542
- Grab your stuff.
- What?
147
00:04:58,575 --> 00:05:00,644
Come on, Trevor. What...
you need to pack, don't you?
148
00:05:00,678 --> 00:05:01,879
- Oh, my God. Yeah.
- Don't you need
149
00:05:01,912 --> 00:05:03,280
- to pack some stuff, buddy?
- I gotta pack, yeah.
150
00:05:03,314 --> 00:05:05,849
- Oh, yeah, I gotta...
- Don't hit the dresser!
151
00:05:05,883 --> 00:05:07,151
- Shut up!
- That used to be yours
152
00:05:07,184 --> 00:05:09,586
- as a baby!
- That's my dresser!
153
00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:11,722
Trevor, pack your deodorant.
154
00:05:15,245 --> 00:05:17,263
Pack your deodorant I
got you for Christmas!
155
00:05:17,828 --> 00:05:19,215
Thank you!
156
00:05:19,285 --> 00:05:21,365
You don't need your Slipknot mask.
157
00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:23,215
- Yes, I do!
- When are you gonna use it?
158
00:05:23,215 --> 00:05:24,297
Take a shower.
159
00:05:24,297 --> 00:05:25,636
You take a shower in a Slipknot mask?
160
00:05:25,669 --> 00:05:27,480
- Yes! Shut up!
- You shut the fuck up!
161
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,373
[BOTH SCREAMING]
162
00:05:29,406 --> 00:05:30,495
Morning, Sheila.
163
00:05:30,708 --> 00:05:31,762
Gentlemen.
164
00:05:32,379 --> 00:05:35,759
Trevor! My favorite Cramblin.
165
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:38,616
A flower for the lady. Here you go, ma'am.
166
00:05:38,649 --> 00:05:41,852
Oh, ohh, Trevor, just like your father.
167
00:05:41,893 --> 00:05:44,052
It's been a while, but I've kept
168
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,879
your favorite game in
my desk all these years.
169
00:05:46,904 --> 00:05:50,206
Oh, my God! A frickin'... a Game Guy?
170
00:05:50,207 --> 00:05:52,129
- Yes!
- Hey, guys.
171
00:05:52,162 --> 00:05:54,064
Tommy, this is my brother, Trevor.
172
00:05:54,098 --> 00:05:55,099
Nice to meet you, Trevor.
173
00:05:55,343 --> 00:05:56,433
Hey, Tommy. What's up?
174
00:05:57,469 --> 00:05:58,594
What's up?
175
00:06:01,155 --> 00:06:02,553
What's up?
176
00:06:04,567 --> 00:06:05,568
What's...
177
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:06,955
up?
178
00:06:08,012 --> 00:06:10,371
- What's up?
- Has Tommy never heard
179
00:06:10,423 --> 00:06:11,585
the phrase, "What's up?" before?
180
00:06:11,610 --> 00:06:13,476
I mean, he seems pretty frickin' rocked.
181
00:06:13,939 --> 00:06:16,165
Hey, Lea. What's... up?
182
00:06:18,176 --> 00:06:19,298
What's up?
183
00:06:19,478 --> 00:06:22,080
Jake Tipper from Tipper's Jewelry
184
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,515
is in your office waiting.
185
00:06:23,548 --> 00:06:25,217
Great. Trevor, you
wanna sit in on this one,
186
00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:26,551
see how it's done?
187
00:06:26,585 --> 00:06:28,553
Whoa. I mean, Tipper's Jewelry seems
188
00:06:28,587 --> 00:06:30,655
pretty big for Trevor's first day.
189
00:06:30,689 --> 00:06:32,090
Oh, he's gonna be fine.
He's just gonna watch.
190
00:06:32,124 --> 00:06:34,192
- Won't say a word.
- Unbelievable.
191
00:06:34,226 --> 00:06:36,094
Hear that, Trevor?
Don't say a word in here.
192
00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:37,467
- Yeah.
- Trevor!
193
00:06:37,492 --> 00:06:39,428
- Hm?
- Good luck, Trevor.
194
00:06:39,453 --> 00:06:41,630
So then the guy gets down on one knee,
195
00:06:41,725 --> 00:06:43,229
pulls out a jewelry box.
196
00:06:43,527 --> 00:06:45,777
In it is a note that says,
197
00:06:45,777 --> 00:06:48,015
"IOU one diamond."
198
00:06:48,224 --> 00:06:50,174
And the woman looks at him and says,
199
00:06:50,338 --> 00:06:53,174
- "Maybe I should reconsider."
- [BOTH LAUGH]
200
00:06:53,199 --> 00:06:56,645
You owe it to yourself to
shop at Tipper's Jewelry.
201
00:06:59,011 --> 00:07:00,145
That's cute.
202
00:07:00,517 --> 00:07:02,252
What? Okay, uh,
203
00:07:02,285 --> 00:07:04,221
a girl's taking her friends out to lunch.
204
00:07:04,254 --> 00:07:07,252
We pan around the table,
and reveal all of her friends
205
00:07:07,253 --> 00:07:08,648
are diamonds.
206
00:07:09,355 --> 00:07:11,397
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
207
00:07:12,424 --> 00:07:14,755
[CHUCKLES] Eh.
208
00:07:15,027 --> 00:07:17,396
- What?
- We have... we have other ones.
209
00:07:17,429 --> 00:07:19,205
- Uh, this one's funny.
- He doesn't want
210
00:07:19,245 --> 00:07:21,797
- funny ideas, idiots.
- Shut up, Trevor!
211
00:07:22,628 --> 00:07:24,285
I'm sorry... I'm sorry about that.
212
00:07:24,470 --> 00:07:26,472
A diamond costs, what?
Three months' salary?
213
00:07:26,505 --> 00:07:27,606
- Wait, what are you...
- You think people
214
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,011
- wanna joke about that?
- Go on.
215
00:07:30,508 --> 00:07:32,647
Guy comes home from the store,
216
00:07:32,672 --> 00:07:33,964
- he's carrying a grocery bag.
- [SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]
217
00:07:33,964 --> 00:07:36,102
He opens up the door, he sees his wife,
218
00:07:36,102 --> 00:07:37,392
she's holding the baby.
219
00:07:37,670 --> 00:07:39,339
He reaches inside the grocery bag
220
00:07:39,372 --> 00:07:41,195
and he pulls out a diamond pendant.
221
00:07:41,242 --> 00:07:43,945
She's like, "Why? It's
not our anniversary."
222
00:07:44,144 --> 00:07:46,794
And he says, "I don't need a
reason to give you a diamond."
223
00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:50,223
Tipper's: She's the only reason you need.
224
00:07:52,837 --> 00:07:53,982
[CHUCKLES] That's it.
225
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:57,155
And maybe the baby craps itself.
226
00:07:57,722 --> 00:07:59,527
'Cause it should be a
little bit funny, I think.
227
00:07:59,561 --> 00:08:01,580
Ehh, that's perfect.
228
00:08:03,463 --> 00:08:05,902
You've cut the shit out of your lip, sir.
229
00:08:06,885 --> 00:08:07,902
Oh. Yeah.
230
00:08:07,936 --> 00:08:09,704
Ah, Sheila's got some tissues,
231
00:08:09,737 --> 00:08:11,283
- if you just follow me.
- All right.
232
00:08:11,573 --> 00:08:13,312
Price of having those rings, huh?
233
00:08:13,955 --> 00:08:14,963
[CHUCKLES]
234
00:08:15,456 --> 00:08:17,479
- That was really good.
- Yeah.
235
00:08:17,512 --> 00:08:18,780
You know who he reminds me of?
236
00:08:18,813 --> 00:08:20,131
Yeah, your dad.
237
00:08:20,648 --> 00:08:22,951
No. I remind you of my dad.
238
00:08:22,984 --> 00:08:25,454
- Yeah, but...
- Hey, guys. What's... up?
239
00:08:26,592 --> 00:08:29,124
Tommy, I need you to get the
frickin' hell out of here.
240
00:08:29,772 --> 00:08:32,795
?
241
00:08:35,069 --> 00:08:36,755
- Hey, babe.
- Hey, baby.
242
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,647
Trevor actually did
really, really good today.
243
00:08:40,647 --> 00:08:42,774
- He did?
- Jake Tipper's gonna
244
00:08:42,875 --> 00:08:44,380
use one of his ideas for a commercial.
245
00:08:44,414 --> 00:08:45,982
- [VIDEO GAME GUNFIRE]
- It was amazing.
246
00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:48,116
- [EXPLOSION BOOMS]
- Sam said he reminded him of me.
247
00:08:48,150 --> 00:08:50,619
That's nice, but can you please tell him
248
00:08:50,652 --> 00:08:53,293
- to turn that damn game down?
- Yes. Sorry.
249
00:08:56,925 --> 00:08:58,635
- [GUNFIRE]
- Hey, pal?
250
00:08:58,822 --> 00:09:00,996
Great job today, but can you turn down
251
00:09:01,029 --> 00:09:02,264
"Call of Duty," buddy?
252
00:09:02,297 --> 00:09:03,465
It's "Battlefield," idiot.
253
00:09:03,498 --> 00:09:04,933
I gotta hear people's footsteps.
254
00:09:04,966 --> 00:09:06,401
You want me to get
fragged like a noob?
255
00:09:06,435 --> 00:09:07,855
It's just a game, Trevor!
256
00:09:07,855 --> 00:09:09,171
No, it's not!
257
00:09:09,204 --> 00:09:10,706
They use this to train NAVY SEALs.
258
00:09:10,739 --> 00:09:13,241
Oh, so the NAVY SEALs
play "Battlefield" all day?
259
00:09:13,275 --> 00:09:14,710
- Yes, they do!
- And that's how
260
00:09:14,743 --> 00:09:15,967
they killed Bin Laden.
261
00:09:17,312 --> 00:09:19,014
No, this is actually how
they killed Bin Laden.
262
00:09:19,047 --> 00:09:20,849
- Boom!
- You don't fucking touch me
263
00:09:20,882 --> 00:09:23,462
- ever, you piece of shit!
- Ahh! Uhh! Uhh!
264
00:09:23,618 --> 00:09:25,587
- Ow! Ohh! Ohh!
- I didn't even touch you.
265
00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:27,856
- Oh, my... ahh!
- There! That hard enough?
266
00:09:27,889 --> 00:09:30,025
Ah! Ohh!
267
00:09:30,058 --> 00:09:31,234
Get off my back!
268
00:09:31,812 --> 00:09:34,074
Dumbasses. I should kick both they...
269
00:09:36,298 --> 00:09:38,202
Can I just stay here a little bit?
270
00:09:38,333 --> 00:09:40,969
[LAUGHS] Not on your fucking life.
271
00:09:41,003 --> 00:09:44,358
[SIGHS] Well, I guess I'll
leave if you can make me move.
272
00:09:46,575 --> 00:09:48,769
What the frick... ahh!
273
00:09:49,687 --> 00:09:50,787
Ahh!
274
00:09:51,113 --> 00:09:52,814
How are you so frickin' heavy?
275
00:09:52,848 --> 00:09:55,450
- Ehh... frickin' whale, go home!
- Get off of me, Trevor!
276
00:09:55,484 --> 00:09:57,497
- I can't!
- Get the hell off... oh!
277
00:09:57,819 --> 00:09:58,887
Ahh! Ahh!
278
00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:01,684
Get off me, you fricking psychopath!
279
00:10:01,685 --> 00:10:02,866
Ugh! [SPITS]
280
00:10:02,866 --> 00:10:05,293
- [BOTH SCREAMING]
- Fine. Stay.
281
00:10:05,327 --> 00:10:07,153
But don't talk during my stories.
282
00:10:07,896 --> 00:10:10,666
[UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC]
283
00:10:10,699 --> 00:10:13,030
R.J. Watkins on "The
New Dance Show."
284
00:10:13,368 --> 00:10:15,303
I always knew this...
we could do this.
285
00:10:15,337 --> 00:10:17,028
- Let's do it.
- That's R.J. Watkins.
286
00:10:17,124 --> 00:10:18,774
He's the host with the
most. Who cares? Shut up.
287
00:10:18,807 --> 00:10:20,242
?
288
00:10:20,275 --> 00:10:22,818
- You idiot!
- You're gonna paralyze me!
289
00:10:23,045 --> 00:10:24,046
- Ahh!
- I'm gonna beat the...
290
00:10:24,079 --> 00:10:25,347
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah!
291
00:10:25,380 --> 00:10:27,015
- Oh!
- Say what you will,
292
00:10:27,049 --> 00:10:29,016
I've never hit you with a stick.
293
00:10:29,016 --> 00:10:31,654
- Yes, you have.
- [FIGHTING SOUNDS CONTINUE]
294
00:10:31,654 --> 00:10:32,992
Oh, yeah, I have.
295
00:10:33,989 --> 00:10:36,625
?
296
00:10:36,658 --> 00:10:38,694
- You idiot!
- Welcome to the jungle!
297
00:10:38,727 --> 00:10:40,562
So we've cast a real
life husband and wife team
298
00:10:40,595 --> 00:10:42,364
to play the husband and
wife in the commercial.
299
00:10:42,397 --> 00:10:44,966
That way when they kiss,
they can really go at it.
300
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,401
I don't want them to really go at it.
301
00:10:46,435 --> 00:10:48,637
Yeah, uh... well, not a problem.
302
00:10:48,670 --> 00:10:50,272
I mean, we had 'em really
go at it in the audition,
303
00:10:50,305 --> 00:10:51,540
so we can pull back.
304
00:10:51,573 --> 00:10:52,841
You know, I did have a question
305
00:10:52,874 --> 00:10:54,636
about the grocery bag surprise.
306
00:10:54,848 --> 00:10:56,244
Yeah, uh, what's the question?
307
00:10:56,278 --> 00:10:58,413
Actually, where's the young man that...
308
00:10:58,447 --> 00:10:59,718
who came up with the idea?
309
00:11:01,116 --> 00:11:02,784
Uh, I can go get him.
310
00:11:02,818 --> 00:11:04,486
Just one second. [SIGHS]
311
00:11:06,154 --> 00:11:07,185
Trevor!
312
00:11:07,185 --> 00:11:08,190
Get in here!
313
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,517
Put your shirt on!
314
00:11:11,173 --> 00:11:13,532
So Jake, I don't know
if I made it very clear
315
00:11:13,532 --> 00:11:14,709
when I was talking about the diamonds
316
00:11:14,742 --> 00:11:15,943
are a girl's best friend commercial.
317
00:11:15,977 --> 00:11:17,679
The diamonds would actually be animated.
318
00:11:17,712 --> 00:11:18,880
You know, they would each be, like,
319
00:11:18,913 --> 00:11:20,048
a different kind of personality.
320
00:11:20,081 --> 00:11:21,749
Like, there'd be, like, an old lady, uh,
321
00:11:21,783 --> 00:11:23,151
like, sassy old lady diamond.
322
00:11:23,184 --> 00:11:25,575
And, like, a dumb diamond,
you know what I'm saying?
323
00:11:25,575 --> 00:11:27,077
Sit down. Talk to him.
324
00:11:29,451 --> 00:11:30,490
Here he is, Jake.
325
00:11:32,007 --> 00:11:35,356
I was wondering if it
shouldn't be a grocery bag,
326
00:11:35,928 --> 00:11:37,685
but a bag from Tipper's.
327
00:11:38,054 --> 00:11:39,389
That way, it's less confusing.
328
00:11:39,422 --> 00:11:40,557
Yeah, I mean, we could do that.
329
00:11:40,590 --> 00:11:42,025
Just kinda replace the grocery bag
330
00:11:42,058 --> 00:11:43,193
with, like, a nice Tipper's bag.
331
00:11:43,226 --> 00:11:44,794
That'd be better, in fact, I think.
332
00:11:44,828 --> 00:11:47,464
'Cause that way, you know,
it'll say Tipper's on the bag.
333
00:11:47,497 --> 00:11:50,700
No, Sam, it's gotta be a
regular, every day grocery bag.
334
00:11:50,734 --> 00:11:53,303
It's gotta have this feeling
that you can buy jewelry
335
00:11:53,336 --> 00:11:55,639
at any time... when you're coming
home from the grocery store,
336
00:11:55,672 --> 00:11:58,128
after you bought milk, egg, cheese, beef.
337
00:11:58,408 --> 00:12:01,444
Yeah, like a... a diamond
in the ruffage, if you will.
338
00:12:01,478 --> 00:12:03,246
- No.
- You don't say no to me
339
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,253
in the middle of the pitch.
340
00:12:05,615 --> 00:12:06,754
I'm sold.
341
00:12:07,083 --> 00:12:08,263
Grocery bag.
342
00:12:09,185 --> 00:12:11,021
[LIGHT MUSIC]
343
00:12:11,054 --> 00:12:12,289
Hey, Chrissy.
344
00:12:12,622 --> 00:12:14,157
I just wanna thank you
for being so understanding
345
00:12:14,190 --> 00:12:15,325
about Trevor.
346
00:12:15,358 --> 00:12:16,882
I know he can be a pain in the ass,
347
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:19,471
but I really think this
has been good for us.
348
00:12:20,556 --> 00:12:21,970
Thank you, my sweetie...
349
00:12:22,532 --> 00:12:25,001
[BOTH SCREAM]
350
00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,269
Why so serious?
351
00:12:26,303 --> 00:12:28,505
You freaking psycho!
352
00:12:28,538 --> 00:12:30,407
Get out of my wife's pajamas!
353
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,742
- Make me pregnant!
- You're not my wife, idiot.
354
00:12:32,776 --> 00:12:35,149
- I wanna be pregnant!
- I know my wife's not a clown!
355
00:12:35,174 --> 00:12:36,718
- Yes!
- I know my wife's not a clown!
356
00:12:36,743 --> 00:12:38,929
Do me, please! Give me a son!
357
00:12:38,954 --> 00:12:40,784
- I can't!
- Give me a clown son!
358
00:12:40,817 --> 00:12:44,054
[DANCE MUSIC]
359
00:12:44,087 --> 00:12:46,289
?
360
00:12:46,323 --> 00:12:48,358
R.J. Watkins on "The
New Dance Show."
361
00:12:48,391 --> 00:12:50,460
Let's do it. On the dance line.
362
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,273
Who's your favorite dancer?
363
00:12:52,462 --> 00:12:54,364
- General Get down.
- He's a general.
364
00:12:54,397 --> 00:12:56,444
- He's the best.
- Well, yeah.
365
00:12:56,618 --> 00:12:58,001
General Get Down's great.
366
00:12:58,034 --> 00:12:59,469
You know he's a bagger at Farmer Zack's?
367
00:12:59,502 --> 00:13:01,945
And Millionaire Greg is Dad's mailman.
368
00:13:02,789 --> 00:13:04,023
Who's your favorite?
369
00:13:05,844 --> 00:13:09,179
I'd have to say Seductra.
370
00:13:09,212 --> 00:13:12,065
Of course you like Seductra.
371
00:13:12,549 --> 00:13:14,851
She's a really great dancer.
372
00:13:14,885 --> 00:13:16,235
Mm-hmm.
373
00:13:16,946 --> 00:13:18,681
Seductra can dance.
374
00:13:18,989 --> 00:13:21,667
Uh, yeah. Just a little bit.
375
00:13:21,958 --> 00:13:24,294
- [SCREAMING]
- Look at me!
376
00:13:24,327 --> 00:13:26,765
Look at me, Trevor! I'm proud of you!
377
00:13:26,997 --> 00:13:28,280
I'm proud of you!
378
00:13:28,305 --> 00:13:31,142
[BOTH PANTING]
379
00:13:31,289 --> 00:13:32,966
You're more like Dad than I am.
380
00:13:34,244 --> 00:13:36,087
And it kills me to admit that.
381
00:13:37,541 --> 00:13:39,023
I'm proud of you, Slipknot.
382
00:13:41,511 --> 00:13:42,589
Really?
383
00:13:43,950 --> 00:13:45,001
Yeah.
384
00:13:46,562 --> 00:13:48,155
Ohh!
385
00:13:48,552 --> 00:13:51,204
[SCREAMING]
386
00:13:57,561 --> 00:14:00,230
Hey, babe. You're up early.
387
00:14:00,263 --> 00:14:02,750
Big day today. Trevor's
first commercial shoot.
388
00:14:03,096 --> 00:14:04,467
Trevor! [CLAPPING]
389
00:14:04,501 --> 00:14:06,469
Let's go! Let's go, Trevor!
390
00:14:06,503 --> 00:14:08,917
Up, up! Wakey, wakey, let's go, pal...
391
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,264
Damn it!
392
00:14:14,742 --> 00:14:15,796
Jizz.
393
00:14:16,226 --> 00:14:17,394
Fucking jizz.
394
00:14:23,124 --> 00:14:24,492
- Hey, Mom.
- Trevor told me
395
00:14:24,525 --> 00:14:26,561
- you were nasty to him.
- Why didn't he show up?
396
00:14:26,791 --> 00:14:28,826
Came crawling back to
you? Couldn't take it?
397
00:14:28,861 --> 00:14:30,829
You were supposed to show him the ropes!
398
00:14:30,863 --> 00:14:32,731
Not work him to death! He's a kid!
399
00:14:32,765 --> 00:14:34,271
He is not a kid, Mom!
400
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:36,962
And if you baby him his entire
life, he's never gonna learn.
401
00:14:36,962 --> 00:14:38,321
I went out on a limb for him.
402
00:14:38,321 --> 00:14:39,622
At the risk of his health!
403
00:14:39,655 --> 00:14:40,979
He's sick as a dog.
404
00:14:41,354 --> 00:14:43,326
He told me he had to be
at the shoot at 7:00 a.m.
405
00:14:43,359 --> 00:14:45,221
Even turkeys aren't up at 7:00 a.m.
406
00:14:45,246 --> 00:14:47,463
What time are turkeys up, Mom?
407
00:14:47,496 --> 00:14:50,952
Don't you sass mouth me,
Timothy Dale Cramblin.
408
00:14:50,952 --> 00:14:52,034
I am here to pick up
409
00:14:52,068 --> 00:14:54,804
his Slipknot mask, his "Battlefield" disc
410
00:14:54,837 --> 00:14:56,706
and his "Five Nights at Freddy's" men.
411
00:14:56,739 --> 00:14:58,274
Yeah, well, you should take his sheet too,
412
00:14:58,307 --> 00:14:59,408
because it's caked.
413
00:14:59,442 --> 00:15:01,964
I'm sure I don't know what that means.
414
00:15:02,178 --> 00:15:03,301
Go get the stuff!
415
00:15:03,301 --> 00:15:05,176
Jerry wants to leave the
city before it's dark.
416
00:15:05,177 --> 00:15:06,449
- He's terrified!
- [HONKS HORN]
417
00:15:06,482 --> 00:15:07,693
All right, let's go, babe.
418
00:15:08,806 --> 00:15:10,734
Yo. How you doin'?
419
00:15:16,017 --> 00:15:18,261
He didn't even have the
balls to tell us to our face
420
00:15:18,294 --> 00:15:19,695
that he was gonna bail on us.
421
00:15:19,729 --> 00:15:21,122
[SCOFFS] You surprised?
422
00:15:21,122 --> 00:15:22,857
That's all he's ever done.
423
00:15:23,238 --> 00:15:26,101
How can you be so good at
this job and not wanna do it?
424
00:15:28,024 --> 00:15:29,079
What?
425
00:15:29,764 --> 00:15:30,879
Nothing.
426
00:15:31,216 --> 00:15:33,011
- Hey, Tim.
- Hey, Sam.
427
00:15:33,467 --> 00:15:35,169
? Mail's here ?
428
00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:36,291
Boo-yah!
429
00:15:38,706 --> 00:15:40,541
What the hell is your
cousin David doing here?
430
00:15:40,574 --> 00:15:42,476
Oh, well, Tim, since I just found out
431
00:15:42,510 --> 00:15:45,079
about the open door policy
for hiring family members,
432
00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:47,715
I figured it'd be okay for
David to come work here.
433
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:50,719
You're not mad, are you? You can't be.
434
00:15:50,751 --> 00:15:52,386
Yeah, all right. I get it.
435
00:15:52,420 --> 00:15:53,888
I'm sorry. It won't happen again.
436
00:15:53,921 --> 00:15:56,624
When you work at a company
where two people own it,
437
00:15:56,820 --> 00:15:59,293
all decisions need to go
through both of 'em, bud, okay?
438
00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:01,495
Yeah, you made your point, Sam.
439
00:16:01,529 --> 00:16:02,630
- Okay, that's all I'm sayin'.
- Okay.
440
00:16:02,663 --> 00:16:04,388
- All right? Okay?
- All right, cool.
441
00:16:04,413 --> 00:16:05,433
BOTH: Great.
442
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:06,901
Hey, David?
443
00:16:07,131 --> 00:16:08,278
[YELPS]
444
00:16:08,736 --> 00:16:10,438
[LAUGHS] All right, you can go on home.
445
00:16:10,776 --> 00:16:11,910
He got the point.
446
00:16:11,944 --> 00:16:14,178
- Got what?
- Tim got the prank.
447
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:16,890
So this isn't a real job?
448
00:16:18,317 --> 00:16:19,279
Oh.
449
00:16:20,222 --> 00:16:21,617
Um, just one second.
450
00:16:23,801 --> 00:16:25,647
Joy. Hey.
451
00:16:26,306 --> 00:16:27,908
Yeah, the job's not real.
452
00:16:28,306 --> 00:16:29,337
[MOUTHING]
453
00:16:29,337 --> 00:16:30,825
Yeah, it was a prank on Tim.
454
00:16:32,778 --> 00:16:33,847
Okay.
455
00:16:34,179 --> 00:16:35,478
- Don't wave to us.
- Yeah.
456
00:16:35,478 --> 00:16:36,583
I'll do that. Sure.
457
00:16:37,847 --> 00:16:38,890
Guys...
458
00:16:39,881 --> 00:16:40,961
[SIGHS]
459
00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:44,487
please, please, please don't do this!
460
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:46,489
- I need this job.
- David, stand up.
461
00:16:46,522 --> 00:16:48,324
You can finish up the
rest of the week, okay?
462
00:16:48,358 --> 00:16:50,418
Thanks, Sam. I broke your stapler.
463
00:16:51,561 --> 00:16:53,896
Hey, David. What's... up?
464
00:16:54,779 --> 00:16:55,786
Just dumb.
465
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,901
We went the Pegasus.
I got a Wings jersey.
466
00:16:59,584 --> 00:17:02,066
We even walked a block. Wasn't bad.
467
00:17:02,338 --> 00:17:04,140
That city's gotten okay.
468
00:17:04,744 --> 00:17:05,873
In certain parts.
469
00:17:06,179 --> 00:17:07,994
We were asked for change.
470
00:17:08,358 --> 00:17:10,760
But the guy was funny, actually.
471
00:17:12,636 --> 00:17:15,002
- Excuse me for a minute.
- Thank you.
472
00:17:15,672 --> 00:17:17,515
Chrissy and I applied and got in to be
473
00:17:17,515 --> 00:17:18,549
on "The New Dance Show."
474
00:17:18,582 --> 00:17:20,684
- Oh!
- Yeah, so excited.
475
00:17:23,194 --> 00:17:24,260
[SIGHS]
476
00:17:26,577 --> 00:17:27,739
Enter.
477
00:17:30,127 --> 00:17:31,315
What the hell, man?
478
00:17:31,695 --> 00:17:33,364
You sneak back to Mom's
in the middle of the night,
479
00:17:33,397 --> 00:17:34,865
leave a puddle of rope on the bed?
480
00:17:35,404 --> 00:17:36,801
It's my two weeks notice.
481
00:17:36,834 --> 00:17:39,616
Trevor, you need to grow up.
482
00:17:40,004 --> 00:17:42,649
You can't just run away from everything.
483
00:17:43,514 --> 00:17:45,577
I'll tell you what. I'll give you a pass.
484
00:17:45,602 --> 00:17:46,950
You can come back and work for me.
485
00:17:46,975 --> 00:17:48,610
[SIGHS] I tried it, I didn't like it.
486
00:17:48,643 --> 00:17:49,954
It was stupid, it was dumb.
487
00:17:50,057 --> 00:17:51,530
But you're so good at it.
488
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:52,968
It's easy.
489
00:17:53,543 --> 00:17:55,244
It's your thing, man. It's not mine.
490
00:17:55,278 --> 00:17:56,395
What do you mean?
491
00:17:56,613 --> 00:17:57,914
Look, remember when we were kids
492
00:17:57,947 --> 00:17:59,994
and we would race and
you were faster than me,
493
00:18:00,019 --> 00:18:02,003
so you'd slow down and let me win?
494
00:18:02,028 --> 00:18:03,438
- Yeah.
- It's like that.
495
00:18:04,064 --> 00:18:05,142
Oh, my God.
496
00:18:05,714 --> 00:18:07,290
You quit because you're better than me
497
00:18:07,323 --> 00:18:09,148
and you didn't wanna make me feel bad.
498
00:18:10,418 --> 00:18:11,434
Oh...
499
00:18:12,503 --> 00:18:14,005
Give me the Slipknot mask.
500
00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:15,687
Give me Shawn Clown.
501
00:18:17,033 --> 00:18:19,135
[SOBBING]
502
00:18:23,568 --> 00:18:24,702
Trevor!
503
00:18:24,736 --> 00:18:26,170
When we were racing,
504
00:18:26,551 --> 00:18:28,539
I didn't slow down so you could beat me.
505
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,310
I didn't slow down.
506
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:31,901
I just got tired.
507
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:35,815
[CRYING]
508
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:37,884
[SCREAMS]
509
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:40,086
[SOBBING]
510
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:45,859
[MUFFLED SCREAMING]
511
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,431
Mind if we join you guys?
512
00:18:51,740 --> 00:18:54,401
All my boys at the table together.
513
00:18:55,378 --> 00:18:57,303
Tim, you been crying?
514
00:18:57,722 --> 00:18:59,299
No, I'm just a little hot.
515
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,739
Hey, uh, Sam, you mind
passing me the spaghetti?
516
00:19:01,782 --> 00:19:04,258
And by the way, diamonds
are a girl's best friend
517
00:19:04,283 --> 00:19:05,394
was really funny.
518
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:08,481
Oh, thank you, Trevor.
519
00:19:09,006 --> 00:19:12,286
And you know what? Yours
was pretty good, too.
520
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:13,915
Although, it coulda been a little funny.
521
00:19:13,948 --> 00:19:15,450
I mean, people remember
the ones that are funny,
522
00:19:15,483 --> 00:19:16,618
- in my experience.
- Yeah, so that's why
523
00:19:16,651 --> 00:19:17,786
they did yours, right?
524
00:19:17,819 --> 00:19:19,120
[WHISPERING] You piece of shit.
525
00:19:19,278 --> 00:19:21,079
Take your hat off at the table, Trevor.
526
00:19:21,113 --> 00:19:23,820
Hey, Jerry, why don't you suck my balls?
527
00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:26,374
Take your hat off at the table, Trevor.
528
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,420
Let him wear his hat, Jerry.
529
00:19:28,453 --> 00:19:31,390
No, Sue. You think I
don't wanna be here eating
530
00:19:31,423 --> 00:19:32,929
with my Panama hat on?
531
00:19:33,192 --> 00:19:34,382
Take the hat off.
532
00:19:35,714 --> 00:19:37,162
Take the damn hat off.
533
00:19:37,196 --> 00:19:38,377
[GASPS] Oh.
534
00:19:38,797 --> 00:19:41,601
That's it! Time to take you to the bottom!
535
00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:43,669
- The Rock Bottom!
- No!
536
00:19:43,702 --> 00:19:44,837
- [BOTH SCREAM]
- [THUD]
537
00:19:44,870 --> 00:19:46,605
- BOTH: Ohh!
- Rock Bottom!
538
00:19:46,638 --> 00:19:48,073
- Oh, shit!
- Rock bottom!
539
00:19:48,106 --> 00:19:49,775
- That man got broken in half!
- Oh, shit!
540
00:19:49,808 --> 00:19:51,009
- On ramp!
- Infinite Rock Bottoms!
541
00:19:51,043 --> 00:19:52,678
- You never saw Rock Bottom!
- That man is dead!
542
00:19:52,711 --> 00:19:54,780
- I am the new dad!
- [SCREAMING]
543
00:19:55,187 --> 00:19:57,128
We're back, we're back
on "The New Dance Show."
544
00:19:57,128 --> 00:19:59,718
This is R.J. Watkins and
we have two new dancers
545
00:19:59,748 --> 00:20:00,916
on our dance show tonight.
546
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:03,479
- And this is?
- Rosie the Boogier.
547
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:07,122
- And?
- Uh, Emperor King Gold
548
00:20:07,156 --> 00:20:09,725
- uh, The Midas Man.
- Fantastic.
549
00:20:09,985 --> 00:20:12,370
And now it's time for a dance
line on "The Dance Show."
550
00:20:12,955 --> 00:20:15,057
Can you break me off
something a little funky?
551
00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:17,693
[UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC]
552
00:20:17,726 --> 00:20:21,730
?
553
00:20:29,038 --> 00:20:31,668
- You had your turn.
- Turn's not over yet.
554
00:20:32,107 --> 00:20:34,492
- You're doin' too much.
- You ain't doin' enough.
555
00:20:35,006 --> 00:20:37,008
?
556
00:20:37,127 --> 00:20:38,062
Uh!
557
00:20:38,352 --> 00:20:40,493
You don't open-hand slap me on TV!
558
00:20:41,584 --> 00:20:42,885
- Ahh!
- [LAUGHS]
559
00:20:42,918 --> 00:20:45,454
Ohh! [COUGHING]
560
00:20:45,487 --> 00:20:47,050
?
561
00:20:47,050 --> 00:20:48,913
I just ate!
562
00:20:49,052 --> 00:20:52,856
[COUGHING]
563
00:20:53,457 --> 00:20:57,194
[COUGHING CONTINUES]
564
00:21:00,448 --> 00:21:01,794
What's up?
565
00:21:04,969 --> 00:21:06,434
What's up?
566
00:21:08,847 --> 00:21:10,379
What's up?
567
00:21:13,037 --> 00:21:15,452
Hey, Lea. What's up?
568
00:21:15,502 --> 00:21:20,052
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