Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,133 --> 00:00:03,134
[bright music]
2
00:00:03,136 --> 00:00:05,136
3
00:00:06,281 --> 00:00:07,681
Good morning, Detroit.
4
00:00:07,683 --> 00:00:09,783
Get your hot rods ready
because this weekend
5
00:00:09,785 --> 00:00:12,486
is the famous Woodward Dream Cruise.
6
00:00:12,488 --> 00:00:14,454
Our own Harvey Bart is spending the day
7
00:00:14,456 --> 00:00:15,996
soaking up all the action.
8
00:00:16,013 --> 00:00:18,191
Let's see how he's doing. Harvey.
9
00:00:18,193 --> 00:00:19,317
Good morning, Nadine.
10
00:00:19,342 --> 00:00:20,975
Well, somebody pinch me 'cause I am
11
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,900
definitely dreaming down
here at the Dream Cruise.
12
00:00:22,903 --> 00:00:24,269
So many fun people,
13
00:00:24,271 --> 00:00:26,070
so many great cars all driving
14
00:00:26,072 --> 00:00:28,573
up and down the street like
they do here every year.
15
00:00:28,575 --> 00:00:30,241
So much fun.
16
00:00:30,243 --> 00:00:31,643
Not much else is happening,
17
00:00:31,645 --> 00:00:33,745
just people driving
up and down the street.
18
00:00:33,747 --> 00:00:34,779
We're gonna cut you off right there.
19
00:00:34,781 --> 00:00:35,780
Thanks, Harvey.
20
00:00:35,782 --> 00:00:37,081
Later in the hour,
21
00:00:37,083 --> 00:00:38,449
celebrity chef Margaret Peretti
22
00:00:38,451 --> 00:00:40,185
will join us to show us how to make
23
00:00:40,187 --> 00:00:41,853
some fun '50s-inspired dishes
24
00:00:41,855 --> 00:00:43,154
as well as apologize
25
00:00:43,156 --> 00:00:44,422
for her now-infamous
26
00:00:44,424 --> 00:00:46,124
anti-Semitic rant from last week.
27
00:00:46,126 --> 00:00:49,460
But first, we have
with us two local admen
28
00:00:49,462 --> 00:00:51,629
who started their own T-shirt company.
29
00:00:51,631 --> 00:00:54,599
Tim Cramblin and Sam Duvet, welcome.
30
00:00:54,601 --> 00:00:56,267
Thanks for having us
on the show, Nadine.
31
00:00:56,269 --> 00:00:57,535
We watch you all the time.
32
00:00:57,537 --> 00:00:59,103
Oh, Thanks. Now...
33
00:00:59,105 --> 00:01:00,805
Not... not like in a stalker way
34
00:01:00,807 --> 00:01:02,373
'cause, you know...
35
00:01:02,375 --> 00:01:04,275
Not like a person who's, like, obsessed.
36
00:01:04,277 --> 00:01:05,977
- Chill out.
- Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.
37
00:01:05,979 --> 00:01:07,779
- Don't touch her.
- I won't. It's not...
38
00:01:07,781 --> 00:01:09,447
Tell us about the T-shirts.
39
00:01:09,449 --> 00:01:12,350
Well, it seems like
everywhere you go these days,
40
00:01:12,352 --> 00:01:14,652
you see T-shirts with
Detroit slogans on them.
41
00:01:14,654 --> 00:01:16,287
Psh, you said it, Tim.
42
00:01:16,289 --> 00:01:18,890
You may be familiar with
"Detroit vs. Everybody."
43
00:01:18,892 --> 00:01:20,658
Just the best.
44
00:01:20,660 --> 00:01:21,993
And "Detroit Hustles Harder."
45
00:01:21,995 --> 00:01:23,194
You can't beat it.
46
00:01:23,196 --> 00:01:25,230
You sure can't, which is why
47
00:01:25,232 --> 00:01:26,864
we're proud to present to you
48
00:01:26,866 --> 00:01:30,441
our very own T-shirt, "De-two-roit."
49
00:01:31,371 --> 00:01:33,304
And we'd like to thank our crew members
50
00:01:33,306 --> 00:01:34,973
Lea and Tommy Pencils
51
00:01:34,975 --> 00:01:37,875
for modeling our
"De-two-roit" T-shirts today.
52
00:01:37,877 --> 00:01:40,478
Uh, take it easy on Tommy.
He's a little nervous.
53
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:44,215
He's not used to being in front
of the camera for a change.
54
00:01:44,217 --> 00:01:45,817
Well, I got to be honest, guys.
55
00:01:45,819 --> 00:01:47,018
I don't get it.
56
00:01:47,020 --> 00:01:48,319
It looks like you put a 2
57
00:01:48,321 --> 00:01:49,721
where the T should be.
58
00:01:49,723 --> 00:01:51,823
Uh, no, not looks like.
That's what we did.
59
00:01:51,825 --> 00:01:54,525
Yeah, so now it's "De-two-roit."
60
00:01:54,527 --> 00:01:56,504
"De-two-roit."
61
00:01:57,636 --> 00:01:58,480
But why?
62
00:01:58,537 --> 00:01:59,870
- Well...
- Asking...
63
00:01:59,895 --> 00:02:02,462
That can best be explained
by a freestyle rap
64
00:02:02,569 --> 00:02:05,036
performed by Lea and Tommy Pencils.
65
00:02:05,519 --> 00:02:06,571
Sounds like fun.
66
00:02:06,573 --> 00:02:08,663
Lea, Tommy Pencils, take it away.
67
00:02:09,175 --> 00:02:12,644
If you're in the market
for a cool T-shirt
68
00:02:13,923 --> 00:02:15,619
Uh... uh...
69
00:02:18,336 --> 00:02:21,670
If you're in the market
for a cool T-shirt
70
00:02:23,089 --> 00:02:24,389
Is this live?
71
00:02:24,391 --> 00:02:25,890
Yes, this is live.
72
00:02:25,892 --> 00:02:27,959
But on a commercial break.
73
00:02:28,572 --> 00:02:30,295
Why don't we move on?
74
00:02:30,297 --> 00:02:33,064
- No, he can do it.
- Yeah, lead him in again, Lea.
75
00:02:33,303 --> 00:02:36,661
If you're in the market
for a cool T-shirt
76
00:02:37,037 --> 00:02:39,570
Uh... uh...
77
00:02:40,774 --> 00:02:43,274
- Tommy?
- Oh, oh, oh, oh!
78
00:02:43,276 --> 00:02:44,409
- Oh, no!
- Oh, my goodness.
79
00:02:44,411 --> 00:02:45,559
[laughs]
80
00:02:45,584 --> 00:02:46,997
Assholes.
81
00:02:47,028 --> 00:02:48,128
Next time
82
00:02:48,130 --> 00:02:49,262
When they ask you
83
00:02:49,264 --> 00:02:51,564
Where you're from
84
00:02:51,566 --> 00:02:53,399
You gon' say Detroit city
85
00:02:53,401 --> 00:02:57,537
When we get back
on our feet, yeah
86
00:02:57,539 --> 00:02:59,072
Yeah
87
00:02:59,074 --> 00:03:00,073
[elevator dings]
88
00:03:00,075 --> 00:03:01,074
Morning, Sheila.
89
00:03:01,076 --> 00:03:02,075
Where you going?
90
00:03:02,077 --> 00:03:03,643
[coughs weakly]
91
00:03:03,645 --> 00:03:05,478
I don't feel well.
92
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,680
I'm going to go home and lay down.
93
00:03:07,682 --> 00:03:09,282
[doo-wop music]
94
00:03:09,284 --> 00:03:11,651
Then why are you
dressed like a Pink Lady?
95
00:03:11,950 --> 00:03:14,184
Are you going to the
Woodward Dream Cruise?
96
00:03:14,337 --> 00:03:17,323
Oh, is that today?
97
00:03:17,325 --> 00:03:19,792
All right, well, have fun.
98
00:03:19,794 --> 00:03:21,638
I mean feel better.
99
00:03:22,430 --> 00:03:27,433
100
00:03:27,543 --> 00:03:28,918
They bought it.
101
00:03:30,974 --> 00:03:32,038
Heard her.
102
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,072
She said it out loud.
103
00:03:33,074 --> 00:03:34,307
I heard you, bud.
104
00:03:34,843 --> 00:03:38,278
- There she is.
- How's the gam, Lea?
105
00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:39,979
The doctor says our insurance lapsed
106
00:03:39,981 --> 00:03:41,948
because you two haven't
been paying the premiums.
107
00:03:41,950 --> 00:03:43,983
Lea, insurance is for
suckers and for chumps.
108
00:03:43,985 --> 00:03:45,318
- Everybody knows that.
- Mm-hmm.
109
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,687
Well, this is how much you owe.
110
00:03:49,724 --> 00:03:51,157
- Ooh.
- [scoffs]
111
00:03:51,159 --> 00:03:52,992
That's ridiculous.
112
00:03:52,994 --> 00:03:54,594
Lea, if we had that much money,
113
00:03:54,596 --> 00:03:57,130
this place would be
wall-to-wall pinball machines.
114
00:03:57,132 --> 00:03:58,865
And a skee ball machine for exercise.
115
00:03:58,867 --> 00:04:00,466
- Mm-hmm.
- Reactivate the insurance,
116
00:04:00,468 --> 00:04:02,835
or I'm gonna have to
quit and get another job.
117
00:04:02,837 --> 00:04:04,704
You know, I really hate to pile on here,
118
00:04:04,706 --> 00:04:07,321
but if Lea goes, I go.
119
00:04:08,043 --> 00:04:10,877
Who the hell are you, man?
120
00:04:10,879 --> 00:04:12,545
I worked here 30 years.
121
00:04:12,547 --> 00:04:16,015
Your dad hired me, and I stand with Lea.
122
00:04:16,017 --> 00:04:17,584
If you lose her, you lose me.
123
00:04:17,586 --> 00:04:18,985
I don't even know you.
124
00:04:18,987 --> 00:04:20,820
We didn't even know you were here.
125
00:04:20,822 --> 00:04:22,956
All's I'm saying is,
if Lea goes, then I go.
126
00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:24,190
Go.
127
00:04:24,192 --> 00:04:25,959
[melancholy music]
128
00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:28,628
Well, I'm sorry it had to end like this.
129
00:04:28,630 --> 00:04:30,463
130
00:04:30,465 --> 00:04:32,999
Okay, Lea, let's go.
131
00:04:33,001 --> 00:04:35,425
What? I'm not leaving.
132
00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:39,862
Okay, well, uh, I guess I'm leaving.
133
00:04:40,976 --> 00:04:42,675
Who's coming with me?
134
00:04:42,677 --> 00:04:44,110
Anybody?
135
00:04:45,747 --> 00:04:47,013
Sam?
136
00:04:47,015 --> 00:04:49,632
Psh, buddy, no way.
137
00:04:51,019 --> 00:04:52,380
Very well.
138
00:04:53,154 --> 00:04:57,857
139
00:04:57,859 --> 00:04:59,759
Oh, thanks for having
our backs on that, Lea.
140
00:04:59,761 --> 00:05:01,427
Well, that settles that.
141
00:05:01,429 --> 00:05:04,664
- Everything's not settled.
- Okay, look.
142
00:05:04,666 --> 00:05:06,399
We'll find the money.
Just give us a week.
143
00:05:06,401 --> 00:05:08,234
A month would be great.
144
00:05:08,236 --> 00:05:10,003
I'll give you till 5:00 tonight,
145
00:05:10,005 --> 00:05:12,372
or I'm gonna walk out of
here just like Wallace.
146
00:05:12,918 --> 00:05:15,108
- Who's Wallace?
- Who the hell is Wallace?
147
00:05:15,110 --> 00:05:16,576
I'm Wallace!
148
00:05:16,578 --> 00:05:18,603
- Get out of here, man!
- Jesus, man, just go!
149
00:05:18,628 --> 00:05:20,035
[sighs]
150
00:05:21,201 --> 00:05:23,149
- We'll find the money, Lea.
- Trust us.
151
00:05:23,151 --> 00:05:24,417
[hip-hop music]
152
00:05:24,419 --> 00:05:25,451
If you're in the market
153
00:05:25,453 --> 00:05:26,953
For a cool T-shirt
154
00:05:26,955 --> 00:05:29,422
A "De-two-roit" one couldn't hurt
155
00:05:29,424 --> 00:05:30,523
Now he can do it.
156
00:05:30,525 --> 00:05:31,891
I mean, Tommy, we love ya,
157
00:05:31,893 --> 00:05:33,385
but you're too little, too late.
158
00:05:33,728 --> 00:05:35,595
Yeah, and I wouldn't
fall asleep tonight.
159
00:05:35,597 --> 00:05:37,997
- You may have a concussion.
- You definitely do.
160
00:05:37,999 --> 00:05:40,578
- Still?
- Yeah, man.
161
00:05:41,236 --> 00:05:42,835
162
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,277
Okay, I made a list
163
00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:46,645
of every client that owes us money.
164
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:48,829
Do we really have to do this?
165
00:05:48,983 --> 00:05:50,750
It's so uncomfortable.
166
00:05:50,775 --> 00:05:53,115
Yes, we do. It's for Lea.
167
00:05:53,411 --> 00:05:54,685
She's like family.
168
00:05:54,685 --> 00:05:57,309
You're right. Let's do this.
169
00:05:58,389 --> 00:06:00,456
Well, I don't think you need that bat.
170
00:06:00,458 --> 00:06:02,257
I don't think you need those knuckles.
171
00:06:02,259 --> 00:06:04,093
Oh, these knuckles?
172
00:06:04,095 --> 00:06:06,628
[tense music]
173
00:06:06,630 --> 00:06:07,930
Put it down first.
174
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:09,657
You put yours down first.
175
00:06:10,167 --> 00:06:11,801
Both: Same time.
176
00:06:12,803 --> 00:06:17,906
177
00:06:20,111 --> 00:06:21,343
All right, let's go.
178
00:06:21,345 --> 00:06:23,645
All right, first up, Devereux Wigs.
179
00:06:23,647 --> 00:06:27,382
Ooh, Devereux
180
00:06:27,384 --> 00:06:29,551
Devereux Wigs.
181
00:06:29,553 --> 00:06:33,722
Ooh, Devereux
182
00:06:33,724 --> 00:06:35,257
Devereux Wigs.
183
00:06:35,259 --> 00:06:39,495
Ooh, Devereux
184
00:06:39,497 --> 00:06:41,897
Devereux Wigs.
185
00:06:41,899 --> 00:06:43,732
We guarantee our wigs
186
00:06:43,734 --> 00:06:47,246
are no longer made from
hair off dead bodies.
187
00:06:47,677 --> 00:06:49,781
Rhonda Devereux is the devil!
188
00:06:49,805 --> 00:06:52,163
_
189
00:06:52,188 --> 00:06:54,009
[crowd yelling]
190
00:06:54,011 --> 00:06:56,378
Money? I can't pay you any money.
191
00:06:56,380 --> 00:06:58,080
No one's bought a wig
since they found out
192
00:06:58,082 --> 00:06:59,748
we used hair from dead bodies.
193
00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:01,250
You're a monster!
194
00:07:01,252 --> 00:07:03,819
I don't use dead people hair anymore.
195
00:07:03,821 --> 00:07:05,387
[crowd yelling]
196
00:07:05,389 --> 00:07:06,655
Who's the monster?
197
00:07:06,657 --> 00:07:08,724
Me for shaving the hair off corpses
198
00:07:08,726 --> 00:07:10,192
or the rest of the world
199
00:07:10,194 --> 00:07:12,694
for burying that silky hair underground
200
00:07:12,696 --> 00:07:14,132
where no one can use it?
201
00:07:14,498 --> 00:07:16,398
Well, I mean, we did the work.
202
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:17,866
You have to pay us.
203
00:07:17,868 --> 00:07:20,295
I'm sorry. I could pay you in wigs.
204
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:24,155
Rhonda, is the hair
made from dead people?
205
00:07:24,157 --> 00:07:25,266
People?
206
00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:27,800
No.
207
00:07:28,562 --> 00:07:30,094
- Oh! Rhonda!
- Oh, no, no.
208
00:07:30,096 --> 00:07:31,663
That's from a skunk.
209
00:07:32,106 --> 00:07:34,566
I was supposed to marry Shane Battier.
210
00:07:34,568 --> 00:07:37,224
I'm not supposed to be scalping skunks.
211
00:07:37,838 --> 00:07:39,604
I don't think you're ever
supposed to scalp a skunk.
212
00:07:39,606 --> 00:07:41,105
Yeah, and it's not an either/or
213
00:07:41,107 --> 00:07:43,675
between scalping a skunk
and marrying Shane Battier.
214
00:07:43,976 --> 00:07:45,909
- Who's next?
- Cash for Copper.
215
00:07:45,912 --> 00:07:47,745
Both: Cash for your copper.
216
00:07:47,747 --> 00:07:49,214
Do you have copper just laying around?
217
00:07:49,216 --> 00:07:51,115
We will give you cash for your copper.
218
00:07:51,117 --> 00:07:53,384
Do you know a place where
copper is just laying around?
219
00:07:53,386 --> 00:07:55,620
We will give you cash for your copper.
220
00:07:55,622 --> 00:07:57,088
If you should happen to find copper
221
00:07:57,090 --> 00:07:59,757
in someone else's walls
or in a city fountain,
222
00:07:59,759 --> 00:08:01,092
can we give you cash for that?
223
00:08:01,094 --> 00:08:02,727
Well, legally, we can't say yeah.
224
00:08:02,729 --> 00:08:04,996
But what we can do is wink.
225
00:08:04,998 --> 00:08:06,698
[cash register dings]
226
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:08,566
Sorry, guys. We just can't pay you.
227
00:08:08,568 --> 00:08:10,092
[sighs] Are you sure?
228
00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:12,069
Yeah, man, this might actually be
229
00:08:12,072 --> 00:08:14,305
one of our worst years ever...
230
00:08:14,307 --> 00:08:15,607
on the books.
231
00:08:15,609 --> 00:08:17,609
Yeah, we ain't seeing no profits...
232
00:08:17,611 --> 00:08:18,877
on the books.
233
00:08:18,879 --> 00:08:20,211
Yeah, we might even be showing
234
00:08:20,213 --> 00:08:22,747
some losses... on the books.
235
00:08:22,749 --> 00:08:24,148
We are in debt
236
00:08:24,150 --> 00:08:25,550
up to our asses...
237
00:08:25,552 --> 00:08:26,718
on the books.
238
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,120
So you can see how it would be
239
00:08:29,122 --> 00:08:31,789
incongruous if we paid you...
240
00:08:31,791 --> 00:08:33,431
on the books.
241
00:08:33,431 --> 00:08:35,831
What we can do is meaningfully
look in the direction
242
00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:38,367
of that big fat envelope over there
243
00:08:39,112 --> 00:08:40,545
and just walk away.
244
00:08:43,950 --> 00:08:47,118
Aw, tough break, man.
I feel bad for them.
245
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:49,754
I don't. You got to get
paid for the work you do.
246
00:08:49,756 --> 00:08:51,289
- That's true.
- If it don't make money,
247
00:08:51,291 --> 00:08:52,568
it don't make sense.
248
00:08:53,159 --> 00:08:56,494
Sam, we have to go to that improv place
249
00:08:56,496 --> 00:08:58,162
so you can shout out suggestions.
250
00:08:58,164 --> 00:08:59,947
They're just gonna boo me again.
251
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,130
- Who's next?
- Pete the Plumber.
252
00:09:02,435 --> 00:09:04,802
But he said next time he
sees us, he's gonna kill us.
253
00:09:04,804 --> 00:09:06,214
Well, we have to try.
254
00:09:06,253 --> 00:09:10,550
If you got a plumbing problem,
call me, Pete the Plumber.
255
00:09:10,552 --> 00:09:12,686
I'll take care of everything,
256
00:09:12,688 --> 00:09:14,721
like leaky faucets,
257
00:09:14,723 --> 00:09:16,323
rusty pipes,
258
00:09:16,325 --> 00:09:17,857
water heaters,
259
00:09:17,859 --> 00:09:19,506
and toilets.
260
00:09:20,741 --> 00:09:22,342
We need our money.
261
00:09:23,009 --> 00:09:25,402
Bro, you showed a shit.
262
00:09:25,418 --> 00:09:28,586
- Honest mistake?
- You showed a shit, bro.
263
00:09:28,588 --> 00:09:32,423
Listen, contracts were signed.
Services were delivered.
264
00:09:32,648 --> 00:09:34,325
I mean, business is business.
265
00:09:34,327 --> 00:09:36,294
It's not personal. [chuckles]
266
00:09:36,296 --> 00:09:37,662
[laughs mockingly]
267
00:09:38,073 --> 00:09:39,140
What's that?
268
00:09:39,165 --> 00:09:40,131
That's how you laugh, bro.
269
00:09:40,133 --> 00:09:41,632
[laughs mockingly]
270
00:09:41,634 --> 00:09:42,800
That is how you laugh, Sam.
271
00:09:42,802 --> 00:09:43,935
[chuckles]
272
00:09:43,937 --> 00:09:44,831
[chuckles mockingly]
273
00:09:45,271 --> 00:09:47,538
That's how you laugh, Tim. [laughs]
274
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:49,774
- [laughs mockingly]
- [laughs]
275
00:09:49,776 --> 00:09:51,709
Ha-ha-ha! Huh-huh-huh!
276
00:09:51,711 --> 00:09:55,480
[all laughing]
277
00:09:55,482 --> 00:09:56,542
Hey!
278
00:09:56,854 --> 00:09:58,788
Get out of here with
these stupid-ass T-shirts.
279
00:09:58,790 --> 00:10:01,724
Oh, no, these aren't
stupid, and they're for sale.
280
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:03,826
- They don't make sense.
- Actually, they do.
281
00:10:03,828 --> 00:10:05,127
It's a play on the word "Detroit."
282
00:10:05,129 --> 00:10:06,162
- Yeah.
- It's...
283
00:10:06,164 --> 00:10:08,397
Both: "De-two-roit."
284
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,066
Oh. [chuckles]
285
00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:11,334
Get the [bleep] out of here.
286
00:10:11,336 --> 00:10:12,535
Who even cares?
287
00:10:12,537 --> 00:10:13,803
Seems like everywhere you go,
288
00:10:13,805 --> 00:10:16,305
you see shirts with Detroit slogans.
289
00:10:16,307 --> 00:10:18,641
Okay. Who's next?
290
00:10:19,272 --> 00:10:20,643
Our last hope,
291
00:10:20,645 --> 00:10:23,679
Roz Chunks, the mom attorney.
292
00:10:26,965 --> 00:10:29,997
Hey, Linda, is Roz at the
office or in court today?
293
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:33,089
Oh, she is? Really?
294
00:10:33,502 --> 00:10:37,193
[laughs]
295
00:10:37,195 --> 00:10:38,733
Yeah, no, you too.
296
00:10:39,656 --> 00:10:40,861
Hey, bye, Linda.
297
00:10:42,782 --> 00:10:45,368
Man, you and Linda, I swear.
298
00:10:45,370 --> 00:10:47,203
- Shut up.
- [chuckles]
299
00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:49,338
Linda said that Roz is out
at her place in Royal Oak
300
00:10:49,340 --> 00:10:51,173
'cause she had a double
colonoscopy yesterday.
301
00:10:51,175 --> 00:10:53,242
Man, Linda just tells
you everything, man.
302
00:10:53,244 --> 00:10:55,845
Can you forget about Linda
and just head to Royal Oak?
303
00:10:55,847 --> 00:10:58,000
If Roz pays up, we should have enough.
304
00:10:58,777 --> 00:11:00,216
You know, it's getting
late. We should book it.
305
00:11:00,218 --> 00:11:02,118
With pleasure, my friend.
306
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,421
Oh, no.
307
00:11:05,423 --> 00:11:07,256
- [horns honking]
- Dream Cruise.
308
00:11:07,258 --> 00:11:08,658
[groans]
309
00:11:08,660 --> 00:11:11,694
[doo-wop music]
310
00:11:11,696 --> 00:11:14,130
311
00:11:16,448 --> 00:11:19,249
[engines rumbling]
312
00:11:19,251 --> 00:11:21,311
I mean, can't we just
cut through Vinsetta?
313
00:11:21,311 --> 00:11:23,978
No. All the roads are blocked off.
314
00:11:23,980 --> 00:11:26,113
Plus, it would take too long
to go back and go around.
315
00:11:26,115 --> 00:11:27,481
We got to just go through.
316
00:11:27,483 --> 00:11:29,779
Whoa! Whoa, whoa!
317
00:11:30,954 --> 00:11:32,553
What can I do you for, pal?
318
00:11:33,699 --> 00:11:35,856
What are you doing with
this piece of junk here?
319
00:11:35,858 --> 00:11:37,658
This is the Dream Cruise.
320
00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:40,061
Back it up. Get this shit out of here.
321
00:11:40,063 --> 00:11:41,629
- You back it up.
- You back it up.
322
00:11:41,631 --> 00:11:43,664
- You back it up.
- Your shirts are stupid.
323
00:11:43,666 --> 00:11:45,838
Oh, wearing that?
324
00:11:46,592 --> 00:11:50,571
Okay, pal, let's put
some tits on this puppy.
325
00:11:50,573 --> 00:11:52,873
Putting lipstick on a turd
326
00:11:52,875 --> 00:11:55,142
Putting makeup on a shit
327
00:11:55,144 --> 00:11:58,045
Put a dress on a dookie
328
00:11:58,047 --> 00:12:00,181
Then I'm kissing it
329
00:12:00,183 --> 00:12:02,383
Lipstick on a turd
330
00:12:02,385 --> 00:12:04,719
Lipstick on a turd
331
00:12:04,721 --> 00:12:07,088
Lipstick on a turd
332
00:12:07,090 --> 00:12:09,390
Lipstick on a turd
333
00:12:09,392 --> 00:12:12,059
Haven't you heard
334
00:12:12,061 --> 00:12:14,962
I'm putting lipstick on a turd
335
00:12:14,964 --> 00:12:17,932
[bluesy rock music]
336
00:12:17,934 --> 00:12:19,100
337
00:12:19,102 --> 00:12:22,036
[engine sputtering]
338
00:12:24,741 --> 00:12:27,742
[dramatic music]
339
00:12:27,744 --> 00:12:34,682
340
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,053
All right, yeah!
341
00:12:39,055 --> 00:12:41,856
Yeah! Whoo!
342
00:12:41,858 --> 00:12:43,557
Dream Cruise, baby!
343
00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:45,926
She cleans up okay!
344
00:12:45,928 --> 00:12:47,795
345
00:12:47,797 --> 00:12:49,864
Lipstick on a turd
346
00:12:49,866 --> 00:12:52,099
Lipstick on a turd
347
00:12:52,101 --> 00:12:54,702
Lipstick on a turd
348
00:12:54,704 --> 00:12:56,937
Lipstick on a turd
349
00:12:56,939 --> 00:12:58,239
Haven't you heard
350
00:12:58,241 --> 00:13:00,708
Oh, there's Sheila and Fletcher
351
00:13:00,710 --> 00:13:02,476
and his Diamond Dogs.
352
00:13:02,478 --> 00:13:05,379
She loves them bad boys, man.
353
00:13:05,381 --> 00:13:06,781
Nothing but trouble.
354
00:13:06,783 --> 00:13:09,050
Just go out with a nice man.
355
00:13:09,052 --> 00:13:10,885
Why do they all have to be rebels?
356
00:13:10,887 --> 00:13:13,120
357
00:13:13,122 --> 00:13:14,588
Lipstick on a turd
358
00:13:14,590 --> 00:13:16,123
Well, all right, let's get this money
359
00:13:16,125 --> 00:13:18,592
from Roz Chunks, the mom lawyer.
360
00:13:18,594 --> 00:13:20,494
Have you been injured or wronged?
361
00:13:20,496 --> 00:13:21,829
Convicted of DUI?
362
00:13:21,831 --> 00:13:23,130
Accused of murder
363
00:13:23,132 --> 00:13:24,765
or had murder attempted onto you?
364
00:13:24,767 --> 00:13:26,467
Call me, Roz Chunks,
365
00:13:26,469 --> 00:13:28,936
and remember, I'm not just a lawyer.
366
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,005
I'm a mama.
367
00:13:35,845 --> 00:13:37,478
Can we take a break, son?
368
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,447
Up yours, Roz Chunks!
369
00:13:40,307 --> 00:13:42,283
Well, you raise 'em from a pup,
370
00:13:42,285 --> 00:13:43,451
they grow up to be a dog.
371
00:13:43,453 --> 00:13:44,819
You know, what can you do?
372
00:13:44,821 --> 00:13:46,020
- Any form of discipline.
- Talk to him.
373
00:13:46,022 --> 00:13:47,188
- Hit him.
- I mean anything.
374
00:13:47,190 --> 00:13:48,823
I really would love to help you.
375
00:13:48,825 --> 00:13:50,791
You know that. I just...
I don't have the money.
376
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:52,928
See, my kid just learned
how to masturbate,
377
00:13:52,929 --> 00:13:54,595
so you know what that means.
378
00:13:54,597 --> 00:13:56,464
- No, I definitely don't.
- I absolutely do not.
379
00:13:56,466 --> 00:13:58,499
Well, long story short,
380
00:13:58,501 --> 00:14:01,602
he got sent home from camp
for being "disruptive,"
381
00:14:01,604 --> 00:14:03,037
as the nuns put it.
382
00:14:03,039 --> 00:14:04,538
Well, you really don't
have to get into it.
383
00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:05,906
- Sorry, nun camp?
- You know, I don't want
384
00:14:05,908 --> 00:14:07,675
to discourage him or, like, shame him,
385
00:14:07,677 --> 00:14:09,977
make him think he's doing,
like, a bad thing, you know.
386
00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:12,313
It's just the way he does it.
387
00:14:12,315 --> 00:14:13,881
It's wrong.
388
00:14:13,883 --> 00:14:16,117
You know, it's just,
like, the dead-eye stare
389
00:14:16,119 --> 00:14:18,125
and his little shuffling feet
390
00:14:18,488 --> 00:14:20,121
and yelling when he busts.
391
00:14:20,123 --> 00:14:21,756
He's already gone through
all of his soccer socks,
392
00:14:21,758 --> 00:14:23,157
moved on to shin pads.
393
00:14:23,159 --> 00:14:24,992
- Shin pads.
- Well, anyway,
394
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:27,261
little tugger got
ahold of my credit card
395
00:14:27,263 --> 00:14:30,998
and signed up for some pretty
expensive pay-to-play sites,
396
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,167
and I didn't... you know, I
didn't say anything at first
397
00:14:33,169 --> 00:14:34,535
'cause it was all that, like...
398
00:14:34,537 --> 00:14:35,970
It was granny fanny kind of stuff,
399
00:14:35,972 --> 00:14:38,005
and his gram-gram had just passed
400
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:40,141
- Oh, sorry for your loss.
- Oh, it wasn't my mother.
401
00:14:40,143 --> 00:14:41,509
So I just... I didn't want to, you know,
402
00:14:41,511 --> 00:14:43,144
interrupt his grieving process
403
00:14:43,146 --> 00:14:44,745
or whatever, so I ignored it.
404
00:14:44,747 --> 00:14:46,147
Well, you know, since
you don't have the money,
405
00:14:46,149 --> 00:14:47,815
we're just gonna take...
406
00:14:47,817 --> 00:14:49,517
It must have worked,
too, 'cause, you know,
407
00:14:49,519 --> 00:14:50,818
then I see he's going on all these,
408
00:14:50,820 --> 00:14:52,620
like, obscure sites, you know...
409
00:14:52,622 --> 00:14:54,021
Well, gonna be hell getting back.
410
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:55,990
Yeah, well, if it was the cartoon stuff,
411
00:14:55,992 --> 00:14:57,424
I'd understand, right?
412
00:14:57,426 --> 00:14:58,759
'Cause that's for kids, you know.
413
00:14:58,761 --> 00:15:00,661
You got, like, a jacked Ned Flanders
414
00:15:00,663 --> 00:15:02,929
just reaming Marge Simpson
415
00:15:02,953 --> 00:15:05,412
or like Bart doing Lisa
416
00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:07,344
with a huge drippin hog.
417
00:15:07,398 --> 00:15:08,931
It's funny 'cause, like,
418
00:15:08,933 --> 00:15:11,033
you know it's incest, but it's okay
419
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,697
'cause they're cartoons, right?
420
00:15:13,117 --> 00:15:15,907
Groundskeeper Willie's
always in there somewhere.
421
00:15:15,938 --> 00:15:18,406
He's got... he's got
a pretty nice piece too.
422
00:15:18,409 --> 00:15:20,008
Who else? Who else?
423
00:15:20,009 --> 00:15:21,575
- Milhouse.
- Sure, yeah, Milhouse.
424
00:15:21,578 --> 00:15:24,546
Glasses, ripped shirt,
huge dripping hog,
425
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:25,847
blue pubes everywhere.
426
00:15:25,849 --> 00:15:27,349
- Yup.
- [car door opens]
427
00:15:27,351 --> 00:15:29,551
Well, it's fine you
don't have the money.
428
00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:30,752
Yeah, we understand.
429
00:15:30,754 --> 00:15:32,187
Hey, bud,
430
00:15:32,189 --> 00:15:33,388
I'll give you ten bucks
431
00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:34,923
for one of these T-shirts.
432
00:15:34,925 --> 00:15:36,792
Oh, absolutely.
433
00:15:36,794 --> 00:15:39,027
- I'm glad you like 'em.
- You see?
434
00:15:39,029 --> 00:15:41,963
Finally, someone appreciates
our humorous fashion.
435
00:15:41,965 --> 00:15:43,532
- Hmm.
- It ain't for fashion, buddy.
436
00:15:43,534 --> 00:15:45,492
I'm gonna bust a nut in this.
437
00:15:45,936 --> 00:15:49,070
- Ugh, little rascal.
- What can you do?
438
00:15:49,072 --> 00:15:50,882
Any form of discipline, honestly.
439
00:15:50,907 --> 00:15:52,574
Hit him.
440
00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:53,809
[funky music]
441
00:15:54,267 --> 00:15:55,656
So now what?
442
00:15:55,681 --> 00:15:58,146
How are we gonna turn
this $10 into what we need?
443
00:15:58,148 --> 00:16:05,086
444
00:16:10,294 --> 00:16:11,960
Ouch!
445
00:16:11,962 --> 00:16:15,130
You scratched my neck,
man! That's assault!
446
00:16:15,132 --> 00:16:16,598
Sir, I've got you on camera, all right?
447
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,732
You assaulted my friend.
448
00:16:17,734 --> 00:16:19,111
What's your name, bro?
449
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,604
- Is my neck bleeding?
- Ah, it's not even red.
450
00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:23,690
Shoot.
451
00:16:23,736 --> 00:16:26,769
I can't believe we
turned $10 into $7,400.
452
00:16:26,889 --> 00:16:28,167
I know.
453
00:16:28,457 --> 00:16:30,424
I can't believe you lost it on one spin.
454
00:16:30,426 --> 00:16:31,753
I was on a roll.
455
00:16:31,761 --> 00:16:33,194
You bet on green.
456
00:16:33,196 --> 00:16:35,029
Well, you tried to flip the table over.
457
00:16:35,031 --> 00:16:36,497
- It was so frickin' heavy.
- Yeah, I know.
458
00:16:36,499 --> 00:16:37,832
That's why I tried to
karate chop it in half.
459
00:16:37,834 --> 00:16:38,833
Does your hand hurt?
460
00:16:38,835 --> 00:16:41,836
[smooth R&B music]
461
00:16:41,838 --> 00:16:45,506
462
00:16:45,508 --> 00:16:47,659
Well, that's it.
463
00:16:48,010 --> 00:16:49,110
We failed.
464
00:16:49,558 --> 00:16:51,112
Lea's gonna quit,
465
00:16:51,114 --> 00:16:54,345
and the only T-shirt we sold
is now a little bully's nut rag.
466
00:16:55,418 --> 00:16:58,419
Go ahead, Sam. Try and cheer me up.
467
00:16:58,421 --> 00:17:00,554
No can do, my number one pal.
468
00:17:00,556 --> 00:17:02,748
We chunked it, and we chunked it hard.
469
00:17:03,426 --> 00:17:04,859
Well, let's go tell her.
470
00:17:06,462 --> 00:17:07,461
- Hey.
- Oh!
471
00:17:07,463 --> 00:17:09,029
I'm sorry to bother you,
472
00:17:09,031 --> 00:17:11,398
but I know how important
Lea is to you guys,
473
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,400
so I came in to crunch some numbers,
474
00:17:13,402 --> 00:17:16,704
and it turns out that with
my salary off the books,
475
00:17:16,706 --> 00:17:19,312
you cleared enough money to
pay the insurance premium.
476
00:17:19,909 --> 00:17:22,510
- Awesome!
- Oh, that's great. Thanks!
477
00:17:22,512 --> 00:17:24,155
Yeah, I thought that
would make you happy.
478
00:17:24,747 --> 00:17:25,868
So?
479
00:17:27,348 --> 00:17:28,362
So?
480
00:17:28,751 --> 00:17:30,296
Well, do I have my job back?
481
00:17:30,653 --> 00:17:31,781
What?
482
00:17:33,256 --> 00:17:34,922
Well, I solved the problem.
483
00:17:34,924 --> 00:17:37,558
I'm an asset to the
company. I proved my worth.
484
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,017
You also proved that we
can't afford to hire you back.
485
00:17:40,930 --> 00:17:42,129
[melancholy music]
486
00:17:42,131 --> 00:17:46,233
Oh, Wallace, you idiot.
487
00:17:46,235 --> 00:17:48,736
488
00:17:48,738 --> 00:17:50,571
- I feel bad for him.
- Yeah, I know.
489
00:17:50,573 --> 00:17:51,772
He really saved the day.
490
00:17:51,774 --> 00:17:53,856
- He did.
- Lea, guess what.
491
00:17:53,881 --> 00:17:55,943
- What?
- We got your insurance.
492
00:17:55,945 --> 00:17:57,278
You can stay.
493
00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,846
We saved the day.
494
00:17:58,848 --> 00:18:01,148
That's actually really cool of you guys.
495
00:18:01,150 --> 00:18:02,650
- Thanks.
- Come on in here, girl.
496
00:18:02,652 --> 00:18:03,751
Come on. Come on, now.
497
00:18:03,753 --> 00:18:04,952
Get in here, little stinker.
498
00:18:04,954 --> 00:18:06,287
Don't be a little stinker.
499
00:18:06,289 --> 00:18:08,207
Mm, you little stinker. [chuckles]
500
00:18:08,591 --> 00:18:10,324
Lea, were you really gonna quit?
501
00:18:10,326 --> 00:18:11,525
- Yeah.
- Oh, well,
502
00:18:11,527 --> 00:18:12,593
you don't have to now, so come on.
503
00:18:12,595 --> 00:18:13,828
Come on. Get a little huggy.
504
00:18:13,830 --> 00:18:15,129
- Come on.
- Little huggy in there.
505
00:18:15,131 --> 00:18:16,130
- We love you.
- We love you so much.
506
00:18:16,132 --> 00:18:17,131
Got to know we love you.
507
00:18:17,133 --> 00:18:18,465
We definitely love you.
508
00:18:18,467 --> 00:18:20,000
I'm sure go'' miss this place.
509
00:18:20,002 --> 00:18:21,368
- Get... out of here, man!
- Get out of here, man.
510
00:18:21,370 --> 00:18:23,170
What are you still doing here?
511
00:18:23,172 --> 00:18:25,039
- I'm done with it!
- Don't make me say it again.
512
00:18:25,041 --> 00:18:26,307
It's gonna get ugly.
513
00:18:26,598 --> 00:18:27,563
Go!
514
00:18:29,801 --> 00:18:33,836
[indistinct speech
over P.A. system]
515
00:18:33,838 --> 00:18:35,738
You know, I'm really
glad we got insurance.
516
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,913
I haven't been to the
doctor in ten years.
517
00:18:38,309 --> 00:18:40,977
Not since Spuds MacKenzie
bit me at Autorama.
518
00:18:40,979 --> 00:18:43,346
Well, you tried to
take off his sunglasses.
519
00:18:43,348 --> 00:18:45,058
He frickin' freaked.
520
00:18:45,316 --> 00:18:47,054
I'm so scared.
521
00:18:47,285 --> 00:18:49,218
What's gonna happen when we go in there?
522
00:18:49,220 --> 00:18:50,887
I have no idea.
523
00:18:50,889 --> 00:18:54,706
I hope the doctor's
hot like Terry Bradshaw.
524
00:18:57,088 --> 00:18:58,363
[chuckles softly]
525
00:18:59,809 --> 00:19:01,430
Sam Duvet.
526
00:19:02,534 --> 00:19:03,904
- See ya, bud.
- Yeah.
527
00:19:05,888 --> 00:19:07,772
So how much do you drink?
528
00:19:08,206 --> 00:19:10,286
I'd say I'm good for about 10 or 12.
529
00:19:11,098 --> 00:19:13,109
Okay. 10 or 12 a week?
530
00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:15,945
- That's not bad.
- A week? Well...
531
00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:17,747
You drink 10 or 12 beers a day?
532
00:19:17,749 --> 00:19:19,015
You're counting beers too?
533
00:19:19,017 --> 00:19:20,016
Yes, of course.
534
00:19:20,018 --> 00:19:21,284
Pff...
535
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:25,354
[mouthing words]
536
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,101
You're still counting.
537
00:19:30,101 --> 00:19:32,011
Yeah, I can just do 'em like this.
538
00:19:32,669 --> 00:19:34,302
- By fives?
- Yeah.
539
00:19:34,304 --> 00:19:36,253
How many hot dogs do
you eat in a day, Tim?
540
00:19:37,641 --> 00:19:39,807
I'd rather not answer
that. Thank you, though.
541
00:19:39,809 --> 00:19:41,897
Did you eat hot dogs today?
542
00:19:43,332 --> 00:19:44,612
Not exactly.
543
00:19:44,614 --> 00:19:46,347
Why are you bringing this up?
544
00:19:46,349 --> 00:19:47,982
Well, you have mustard on your shirt,
545
00:19:47,984 --> 00:19:49,698
and frankly, your
burps reek of hot dogs.
546
00:19:51,688 --> 00:19:53,388
I had a hot dog bowl earlier today.
547
00:19:53,390 --> 00:19:54,455
Yes, I did.
548
00:19:54,457 --> 00:19:57,158
And what is a hot dog bowl?
549
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:58,580
It's like a burrito bowl,
550
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:02,568
but it's chopped-up hot
dogs in a big old bread bowl.
551
00:20:03,115 --> 00:20:06,100
So like a much larger,
less healthy hot dog?
552
00:20:06,102 --> 00:20:07,702
Can I go? I'm starving.
553
00:20:07,704 --> 00:20:08,803
So how is the ankle?
554
00:20:08,805 --> 00:20:10,171
Oh, it's fine.
555
00:20:10,173 --> 00:20:11,906
Can you tell me what these are?
556
00:20:11,908 --> 00:20:13,241
Looks like you've got a Vicodin,
557
00:20:13,243 --> 00:20:14,776
Lipitor, two Percocet,
558
00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:16,945
half a Pepto Bismol, and a green M&M.
559
00:20:19,776 --> 00:20:21,152
Why would you do that?
560
00:20:23,118 --> 00:20:24,269
Oh, no.
561
00:20:25,179 --> 00:20:28,423
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
562
00:20:31,177 --> 00:20:32,539
Oh, my God.
563
00:20:33,964 --> 00:20:35,530
I think I'm pregnant.
564
00:20:36,344 --> 00:20:37,744
I'm late.
565
00:20:38,468 --> 00:20:40,719
Ma'am, I don't think
you can have a baby.
566
00:20:40,744 --> 00:20:42,259
You're telling me!
567
00:20:42,785 --> 00:20:44,772
My parents would kill me.
568
00:20:44,774 --> 00:20:46,912
Now, let's do this.
569
00:20:47,477 --> 00:20:48,810
Where are the stirrups?
570
00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:50,078
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa.
571
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,312
I can't have a baby!
572
00:20:51,314 --> 00:20:52,984
I'm a dancer!
573
00:20:53,187 --> 00:20:54,850
Cheryl!
574
00:20:54,851 --> 00:20:57,619
[indistinct speech over P.A. system]
575
00:20:57,783 --> 00:20:59,783
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com
576
00:20:59,833 --> 00:21:04,383
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
39711
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
