Original subtitles

Can you hear that?

That's my heartbeat.

They say that tech talks

are the most important 18 minutes of your life.

So, I'm nervous. And I shouldn't tell you that.

But if I didn't, you'd figure it out anyway.

So in some ways,

telling you removes a bit of that invisible barrier between us.

I feel more relaxed, so do you.

It's honest. It's transparent.

And it's good PR.

Control Team One up and ready. We're going to dig him out.

Heckler & Koch. MP5. Totally standard. Exactly what you'd expect.

If we were down Cheshire way, we might sit in an empty Defender,

but down here, "if you're going to mosh, it's a Heckler & Koch." Yeah.

Fuck, yeah. A bit of that. I mean, that's what we joined for, eh?

You know what I'm sayin'?

Yeah, well, show me a 19 officer who's ever pulled a trigger

outside a firing range and I'll put 'em in a glass box

and charge people 15 quid to look at him.

Inward opening door to the left.

We can do this any minute, OK? Any minute.

Just let the Mayor have his coffee.

Sure, I'll just check there aren't any corpses in the back of the shot.

When did you get so cynical?

It's very unappealing, this corrosive cynicism you guys have, you know that?

Big key.

Fucking hell. Fucking hell.

Armed police!

Occupants of number 15, we are armed police!

Come to the door with your hands in view!

What the fuck...? Show me your hands!

Show me both your fucking hands!

You can see my fucking hands. Stand still!

How do I even know you're the police? Show me some ID.

I don't need to show you ID.

Kneel down for me! Fucking stand still, or you will be Tasered!

Well, which is it, kneel down or stand still?

Put your fucking hands on your head!

Can you stop swearing, please, mate?

All right, put some clothes on.

Yeah, well, it's my house, innit? I can do what I like, wear what I like.

Maybe you should take your clothes off, how about that?

Maybe that is the house rule. No clothes.

Turn around, put your hands on your head.

Dad! Hey, go back to bed, Tyler, all right?

Go back to bed now!

Fuck!

If you don't control your dog, we will...

Do not Taser my fucking dog.

Control your animal. I will Tase your animal.

If you Taserise my dog, I will fucking come for you!

Taser, Taser.

You Tasered my fucking dog!

Don't... Stay clear of my knob-end. Do not Taser my fucking knob-end.

Taser, Taser.

No!

Jesus! Agh!

The subject has been Tasered and secured.

What... Get back, ma'am. What are you doing to him?

Get back. I don't care if he... Get off! Olly!

Look at that. Meat and two veg, all the trimmings.

Get out of the fucking way. Get out...!

Have you killed him?

Have you fucking killed him?

Ronnie, get something to cover his scrag end, will you?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I heard you already.

I heard you already, man, you don't need to say it again in my ear.

"Hello?"

What we are saying to the bad guys is...

You trod dog-shit all over my carpet. Are you gonna pay for a carpet clean?

..say about the positive results my approach has brought...

Imagine living here.

Fucking shithole.

I'll tell you what, man, I have got a fucking 3-D printer in there.

I'm gonna print me off a bazooka and I'm coming for you fuckers.

Oh, yeah?

I'll look forward to that.

Make a date for you.

Searched and secured, no firearms.

Have fun with the processing.

I ain't getting in. Get in!

Guantanamo bullshit. You didn't have to fucking Taser me.

Yeah, well, mate, he probably missed Strictly, didn't he?

Wanted to see someone dance. ZZZZZZZ!

Who you looking at? Fucking cunts! Bloody bastards!

Fuck.

Control. Control.

Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru.

'The PR game as we have all known it is over.

'Communication is no longer a one-way street.

'A 24/7 world requires 360 degrees of communication.

'The age of information control is over.

'We're into information conducting.

'We can put up signs, we can direct people, we can cheerlead,

'but the minute you put up a sign that says, "This is a no-go area",

'sooner or later, the whole crowd is gonna barrel right through.

'So what does this mean about new PR?

'For nearly 100 years, the Police Dogs Support Unit

'has been providing back-up and assistance

'to officers across the capital

'in finding, detaining and gathering evidence on the bad guys of London.'

'What you're looking for in a dog is tenacity,

'commitment and doggedness.

'Not to be confused with dogg-ing...'

His voice.

It's a little... whiny.

Oh, we can rich that up in the sound mix. Yep.

A few notches down on the nasal-ometer would be great.

I'm aware there's no such thing as a nasal-ometer.

Hi, Miles. Gerry.

So, er, cappuccino for you. Double espresso.

And, Liz,

my sources tell me our new boss goes for a flat white, extra hot.

Thank you, Finn.

No problem. So, first day. Exciting.

Yep.

I don't mind coming to work.

It's the eight-hour wait to go home that's a bitch.

Mind if I sit in?

This is the Dog Squad ep.

Matt Coward starts shooting with the Territorials support group today.

'No, no, fuck you fuckin' pigs, I tell you.

'What you bring your dog for?'

'You're nicked.' 'Oh, come on.'

'Handcuff the scrote, put him in the van.

'Next time, stop for a police officer.'

OK, and stop. Er, Liz, I'm not sure we're entirely comfortable

with our officer being portrayed using the term "scrote".

What is a scrote?

It's not too serious. Probably the nearest US equivalent would be "punk"

or "dirtbag".

I mean, in a way,

doesn't the "fucking pig" cancel out the "scrote".

Scrote. There are no racial connotations?

Oh, no, I don't, er... Gerry?

Oh...

You gonna pixellate? No, I thought I might put him in the stocks.

Sorry to interrupt, fatal shooting in Newham, just to let you know.

We've put out a holding statement.

Great, what is it? Dunno.

But for the OB, probably a bit too early.

Send me a draft when that comes through.

You probably want to wait for some protein.

Just put out times and places first.

Seriously, Liz, we had 3,500 gun crimes last year.

137 homicides.

We're not going to be looking over every draft of every press release.

Fine. Understood.

I will be taking a look at this one, though.

Send me the draft.

Er, "scrote - a worthless, obnoxious person.

"A gobshite or toerag."

Scrote = scrotum. Scrote bag, it's the whole thing, isn't it?

Fine. Not an issue.

Stein, you fuckin' pleb, give me your lap.

Did you get the call from HR?

Firearms training application? Mm-hm.

They want a thumbs up from us. What are you thinking?

I don't know.

You've been kidnapped.

You're sweating next to the bad guy with the gun.

Mm-hm. Robbie comes through the door to take the shot. Are you happy?

Yeah...

Yeah.

I think so. You?

Yeah. I mean, it depends, yeah.

In theory, I mean. But is it enough to pull the plug on him?

OK, guys, just spoke to upstairs,

it's your turn with the filming, all right?

Oh, OK. We have got Robbie with us.

Right.

Yeah, I'll move Robbie to Carrier 4.

No, he can't go to Carrier 4, Tina's on Carrier 4.

Well, look...

just keep an eye on him, all right?

PC Damian Clarke, PC Davina Lewis,

this is Matt Coward.

Don't treat him like a knob-head. OK?

Hi, guys, great to meet you.

I'll be keeping a low profile.

Come on!

The important thing for you

is you feel you're in a supportive environment.

Uh-huh.

We've found it useful...

..key indicators to ensure you are fit to continue

at the highest level.

Yep, fine, go on.

Do you ever have thoughts that you would characterise as "dark"?

Hmm.

No.

Do you ever have feelings?

Er...

Oh, sorry.

Um, do you ever have negative feelings

that you find, um, hard to control?

No.

Since the incident,

have you increased your consumption of alcohol?

No.

Have you found your mind lingering on details of the incident?

Er...

No.

Oh, great. Great.

Unless there's anything else,

that's all great.

You all right, mate?

Want a hug?

You all right, ladies? Been there long?

So, what you heard?

TSG are meatheads, lunks and bully boys?

"The thick and stupid group"?

No, no, no.

Robbie, we've got the camera with us today.

All right, mate. Good to have you aboard.

All right? Unless you did Motorway Cops.

You didn't do Motorway Cops, did you? You didn't do that, did you?

I fuckin' hated that.

We do not like the black rats. We did not appreciate that programme.

Er, no. That wasn't my outfit, guys.

Look at him, he nearly shat himself.

No, I love Motorway Cops, I fuckin' love that shit.

Nice, nice. Just to clear one thing up -

I think you might have mistaken me for a wet prick.

It's probably all the aftershave, makes me smell like a wet prick.

How about I wash it off and we start over again, yeah?

And there was an emergency vehicle collision on the way to the site.

'We meet the real police dogs...'

Liz. Gentlemen.

Commissioner.

Commissioner.

Just thought I'd drop by and say hello

and "door's always open" bollocks,

but it is open.

Well, this was my door, but...

OK, fair dos. Your door is always open to me

So how are you settling in? Quite a culture shock, I imagine.

Actually, me ex-partner's British.

Big Aston Villa supporter.

I meant from working for a website

to a job where lives are on the line.

Oh. Well, I haven't killed anyone yet, so, you know,

you could be my first.

Yeah, well, I'm close-protection trained, so I doubt it.

Yeah? I might find a way through.

I doubt it. Now, now, Charlie,

it's only careers the media kill, not people.

Absolutely. You are the tough guys, I'm just the messenger girl.

Great. Well, this looks important.

And I understand you're letting Finn do the 8:30 this morning

but tomorrow, yes? Yes, I will be there tomorrow.

Tom? I'm sure Finn's filled you in already,

but we've got the Thai extradition flight,

the Stockholm guys that could blow up with the SAS,

the Kurdish demo, which is a probable event,

Yemen ambassador, which we don't want anything on,

plus the press conference with the Mayor is a big one.

The Mayor's already been raising his wiggy flag

at a dig-out this morning.

It's wonderful he's taken such an interest.

Shall we?

We need to make sure the Commissioner gets his fair share

of the gun-crime reduction pie.

Absolutely. One large slice of gun-crime reduction pie.

Next to key-lime, it's my favourite pie.

Gerry.

Gerry. Yep. All set?

Step back, please. Step back. Right back.

What's going on? I said move back. So move right back.

I'm sure I heard a shot.

Move away from the station, please.

So, if you're happy to sign off on the cut,

these are the approval forms. Sure.

You're sure you're happy

with the plastic pigs reference in the docs wallet?

I'm sorry, the what?

When the community support officers get called plastic pigs.

They're cops, Finn. You know, human being say things. We're good.

Right. And the voice-over?

As you know, the voice-over is extremely pro-police.

I mean, I wouldn't say it's biased, but it is heavily anti-scrote.

We're thinking Ray.

Winstone?!

He has played cops.

Yeah, generally as something of a renegade.

We're hoping for Ray, but we're also touching base

with Bacon and Theko. Fuck!

Is another one...? Is that...? Did we know about that?

Er, that's just coming down the pipe.

We haven't had anything yet, apart from this one's not fatal.

Two.... Do you think there's a link?

A link?!

Check out Sherlock Gnomes.

Get Cracker a cracker!

Two shootings in London in one day.

It's not going to blow anyone's noggin, Liz.

Sorry, gentlemen. We will pick this up later.

I'll get you signed off.

How are they looking? Yeah, not great.

Yeah? Grey out? Yeah. Two who think they're comedians.

One possible character, but even he's not very fucking warm.

Well, the dog guy didn't seem very warm,

but he came out of the wash as a lovable rogue.

I know.... It's just they're cops, you know? We're at one.

They're basically just very, very fucking coppy.

It's the cops, Matt, OK?

The problems with the cops is its full of cop types.

Look, just get yourself down the embassy with them.

Bit of interaction with the public. Drama is conflict, yeah?

A bit of pomp and circumstance, but keep your story nose on, Matt.

A bit of scale. Matt...

A cheeky one.

Could you just once again go over for us

the exact chain of events that led to you firing on the suspect?

Are your fingers crossed, Warwick? You fucking rogue!

That's how my fingers go, mate.

Would you describe the use of your weapon as a warning,

or was there an intent to fire?

I didn't know the suspect's weapon was a replica.

So the primary intention was to avoid my head being blown off

from it's shoulder attachment.

So your discharge was an act of self-defence?

Well, I wasn't just trying to show off I had a proper gun and he didn't.

It's a joke, mate. I mean, you do the job,

as soon as you do the job, you're in the dock like a nonce.

Yeah, well, I've done my time, haven't I?

Two months at home going out of my nut!

Watching daytime TV and pulling yourself off?!

It's not exactly fucking Helmand.

'The red BMW connected to the Newham shooting

'spotted in the Wandsworth Road area. CAD 1384.'

Yeah, were on it.

Saddle up and pack the six shooters, boys.

Pack the six shooters?! Is that new?

Tony, that is pony. Banjo, you let him go, mate.

What kind of demo do they call this? I mean, where are they all?

Apparently, a coach broke down. It's still on the Harrow Road.

Oh, yeah? Sure.

Fucking time-wasters.

So, as members of the Territorial Support Group,

one of our specialisations is public order containment.

Our remit here is to contain any possible threat of violence.

we are the police, we are in charge, that is the message.

We are the daddies, we are the sheriffs of this town!

So what are your hopes for today?

Er, peaceful protest.

You hope for the best and plan for the worst.

And what's the worst thing that could happen today?

The worst? Er, I don't know.

Um, violent demonstrators roaming the streets with bricks,

lengths of scaffolding pipe.

Watering cans full of petrol. Yeah? Yeah. That'll be fucking brutal.

You get one of those up on a balcony,

lighter, spraying down a rain of fire.

Fucking third-degree downpour. End of. Robbie.

Sorry... can't do that.

We can't allow you to attach that to street furniture.

A lamppost?!

Street furniture is public property,

not to be used as part of a private protest.

You can hold your banner up. That's fine.

Listen! He has warned you, now I'm warning you!

Step away from the lamppost!

Step away from the fucking lamppost! Steady on, Rob.

No! Now, this is my lamppost, all right? This is not your lamppost

and if you try and attach anything else on my lamppost...

I will verbally dominate you. All right?

You've got to jog on. Keep walking!

We're ready. Thank you.

Do you think people at the back are going to be able to see me?

Don't be worried about your height, it's not an issue.

I'm not worried about my height,

apart from whether or not people at the back can see me.

That's the only extent to which I'm worried about my height.

Well... you could stand on a chair.

I'm not standing on a fucking swivel chair.

Well, I can hold the back.

No?

Right.

Hi, there.

Hi. Hi. Morning.

Sorry. Yes, the Yank is yanking you from your desks.

I just want to say a few words about the department

and where we might all be headed over the next few months.

I'm very passionate about this role,

and I'm not afraid to say that I love coming to work.

Although that eight-hour wait to go home is a bitch.

So, listen, just a couple of headlines.

The Met is engaged in a break-up.

We're dumping the journalists

and we're asking the public for a date instead.

She is so fucked.

What do you reckon she was doing at Instagram?

Ten million black and white photos of people's lunch, one story a year?

Welcome to London.

300 languages, 200 embassies, 400 potential high-value moving targets.

I'm going to give her six months and she's scrambled eggs.

Now, I want to reassure you I have no intention

of ripping up all the good work of my predecessor.

Dennis Trafford did a lot of good things,

as well as some things, obviously, that were of concern.

You were unlucky, mate. I know.

The Commissioner saw her TED talk on 360 degree communication

and his dick went hard.

I will speak directly to you and we will speak directly to the public.

Look, I will be the first one to tell you...

As you can see, people are still visibly shaken.

Police on the ground are saying the victim, a man in his early 30s,

died at the scene, but want to...

Fuck me!

That was...

I want to apologise for the expletive that just escaped.

Here's an idea - maybe the police shouldn't be doing racist banter.

maybe putting cameras in the vans

is going to be a part of the solution to the problem.

Hello?

Hi.

I do expect you to bring your full attention to this meeting.

Um, I'm sorry. It's just that...

It's all right. There's news.

What?

It looks like another shooting. In Uxbridge, a further one.

OK. I think we all need to find out exactly what's going on,

so, er, why don't we thank Liz and, er, pick this up later today?

The news channels are going mental.

They're bears who hibernate 11 months out of the year

and wake up when they hear the sound of shooting.

Twitter thinks Mumbai is happening again.

Some comedian said it was Tim Henman.

A South Korean wire's picked it up.

It's getting reported back on gossip sites as a possibility.

Impossible. Henman could never hit three in a row.

All right. Not enough information for anything from us.

Just the vanilla out of the borough commands.

Right. Er, your call, obviously,

but you might want to let the press have, off the record,

the red beamer or something...

I am not pumping unattributable horseshit into this situation.

We are not saying something until we know something.

Right.

We'll action the inaction. Full no speed.

Er, listen, just so you know, about Finn, he's bitter.

That's fine. Finn and Trafford came up the ranks together

until he hit the arse ceiling.

It's the ceiling where you can't get promoted any higher

cos everyone thinks you're an arsehole.

'Sky sources are telling me that these shootings could be linked.'

'However, Scotland Yard is still to make a statement of any kind.

'Ashish Joshi, Sky News.

So, what have I missed?

What has he missed? Bucketloads of bullshit.

We had Baker posted with us for a week.

A very boring gentleman, Mr Baker.

The thing with you is, Warwick,

yes, you do shoot unarmed members of the public,

but that is interesting.

'Trojan 157. Trojan 157.

'Fatal shooting, Uxbridge Station. PCSO officer down. CAD 5732.'

Jesus! What's that, Hillingdon Borough? Fuck!

Two words - cop killer.

Two more - bye-bye.

OK. So now there's talk of a cover-up on the shootings.

There is no cover-up.

Well, obviously I know there's no cover-up

because if there was a cover-up, I'd be covering it up.

You see, the news media is like a crocodile.

If you don't throw them a piece of meat, they tend to go a bit nuts.

If you do throw them a piece of meat,

they also tend to go a bit nuts.

What we need to do is just told them the truth. Which is?

Well, the intel we have is mixed,

but as yet, the facts don't yet suggest...

the shootings are linked.

Don't yet, and is the truth...?

Is that true?

That is our current position,

based on the facts we have in front of us at the moment. OK.

And if pressed, is there anything, if pressed, off-line?

It would be great for me

to get a sense of where you think this is going.

That is the current position based on the facts

we have in front of us at the moment.

Mayor's office checking on a press conference.

There's no way you're going into a press conference, right?

Whatever this is...

No. My advice would be no.

Hi, Patrick? Yeah. We think we should float the possibility

of cancelling today's press conference

due to the unfolding situation.

OK. One moment.

The mayor's office are saying they understand

and they're happy to go ahead without you.

Tell them our advice is that it might not be wise to go ahead at all

due to the developing situation.

Hi, yes, Patrick.

Our advice that we're giving

is that it might not be wise to go ahead at all

due to be developing situation. OK, I'll tell him.

They say they understand your position,

but they're keen to go ahead at this time.

Well, I'm sure the mayor will remember

whose due the credit for the nice gun numbers.

Well, he's a generous man and I'm very, very fond of him.

Do you want me to reach out to them? No.

Sonia, I have an appointment with my physio in an hour.

Probably best to cancel it. Thank you. Gluten-free.

So we haven't yet spoke to the Uxbridge PCSO's husband? I just...

There was a PCSO?!

Jesus, Tom! Why didn't I know?

I... Everyone knows.

I thought... I thought you knew.

Yes, well everyone might know, but I'd don't actually know

unless someone fucking tells me!

I can draft something, or do you want me to use...

Have you done the knock? No. It's only just triple confirmed now.

I should do it. I'll do it.

From a presentational perspective,

I don't think you need to be the one to deliver the death message.

Operationally... I will be contactable.

She's a police officer killed in the line of duty.

I'm doing it.

so, er... are they for or against?

Kurds. For.

Well, for Kurds, against Turkey.

But for themselves, you know, they want Kurdistan.

Yeah? But why shouldn't they have Kurdistan?

I mean, they can Kurdistan and I can have fucking Robbistan.

I mean, if there's plenty of spare Stans knocking around. Oi, Stan!

What? You going spare? They need a Stan. Fuck off, mate.

Look at this. I mean, you have got to be kidding.

I mean, these guys are absolute jokers.

How are they going to get Kurdistan

if they won't put their backs into it?

I'd be coming at me like, "Oi! Give me fucking Kurdistan!"

And what would you do if you were you and you were coming at you?

If I was them... coming at me?

Well, I'd be tooled up, wouldn't I?

I'd have a crash helmet and a petrol bomb. That is the only way!

You reckon? Well, it works, doesn't it? This bucket of slops.

I mean, they're not going to get on the news.

They're not going to get Kurdistan. But, right,

if they put themselves about a bit, suddenly you're like,

"Fucking hell! Maybe we better give them a bit of Kurdistan

"and then it'll calm down a bit."

Just heard a PCSO's been shot in Uxbridge. Seriously? Yeah.

How many holes do you have to put into a plastic pig, to, er...

If plastic pigs are inflatable... What are you doing?

No, no, no. It's definitely going flat.

Shut the fuck up, Robbie.

All right.

'Everyone who's part of Tiberius

'and SCO Team deserves the credit for today's announcement.

'The fact that firearms-related homicides

'have fallen by 8%...'

9%. Knife crimes down 8%, actually.

'..proves that I was right to support this initiative from the beginning.'

Oh, you supported the initiative from the very beginning, did you?

That's why you try to screw us on ringfencing.

If we shot him he'd claim he was doing valuable work taking a bullet out of circulation.

We're here, Commissioner.

No, it's OK.

You're Richard Miller.

Sorry. Of course you know you're Richard Miller.

Hello, Mr Lovett. Can I come in, please?

Wow. Yeah. This is, er...

I'm afraid Fiona's not in right now.

She's on duty, but...

I'm very, very sorry.

Oh...

Here we go, boys, worth a tug.

Visual contact. We've got eyes on a, er, red BMW, blacked-out windows.

Have they pinged us? Yeah, I think they've fucking pinged us.

Get the fives out, mate. Here we go.

Condition two.

Stop!

Come around! Move in.

Armed police! Stop the car or we shoot!

Put your keys on the roof of the car!

Keys on the roof! Step out of the car now! Drop your weapon now!

I haven't got a weapon, I've got a blim!

And I've got a soldier on the go!

And I've got an eighth of hash back at the house!

It's just a blim, I've just got a blim!

Nothing doing. Joker. Rosie, get back in the car now!

Now! Get back in!

Listen, madam, just want to say sorry and apologise for any distress

that's been caused to you by this incident today.

We're going to give you some phone numbers to call,

explaining why we've drawn our weapons...

Course, the thing about the Mongols is,

they destroyed everything in their path.

OK, they weren't cool like the Romans,

they didn't build any aqueducts or viaducts,

but you put a Roman legion against a Mongol horde,

Mongols would win every time.

Great. Brilliant. Yeah. Apparently PCSO was fatal.

Shit. Oof. If this goes GTA, I hope we get a piece of it.

So... guys,

what do you think about Robbie's application for firearms training?

Yeah. Exciting.

Big opportunity. Our loss. Their gain.

Think he's got what it takes? It's all about control, isn't it?

You've got to be, erm, in control.

I mean, you can't always be in control in this job.

If something comes for you, you need to be able to lose it,

but, erm, when Robbie loses it he's still in... control.

Look at that! They've fixed their coach. Let's do this!

Sorry, mate, you lot better head for bed, cos you missed your slot.

Yeah, we're here for the protest. Our coach broke down.

Sorry, pal, your static demonstration permit was from two till five.

Show's over. Are you kidding me? We've been stuck here for hours.

We've came here to March. No marching. Static demonstration.

You start marching, you're going straight in the van.

It's a free country. Yeah? And you're free to naff off!

Get 'em out of here before they get themselves into trouble.

Shit...

You fucking dirty...

Come on, mate. That was well out of order.

No more of that, mate, all right?

Wagons roll. Get 'em out of here.

Before you get yourself a ticket.

Ooooohhh.

"Gob on me, sir. I don't mind. Public spittoon." Lose your nuts, did ya?

Didn't fancy the odds. You could have vanned him for that. Assault.

So, where are we with forensics? Well, we have an initial weapons match, and this is...

They won't stand behind this. This is me pushing them because they want more time.

But when I put them on the spot and said gun to their head...

They said, "What sort of gun?" Exactly.

I suspect a shooty-bang-bang gun. Off the record.

These bullets are all from the same 5.56 rifle. Possibly an N4 clone.

Jesus. We need to grab our nuts.

Yeah, also we have a CCTV match and potential sightings of the same white Vauxhall van.

So the Beamer rumour was bollocks? You shouldn't have even heard the Beamer rumour.

Commissioner, I don't know if you saw the mayor's speech. No.

Lot of other stuff going, but I wonder if you want me to put out a corrective statement.

The mayor didn't mention you once. That's fine.

It's fine. Everything's going to be the shootings.

Can we just make sure that the rumour mill grinds as slowly

and quietly as possible, OK?

Yes, Commissioner.

Gentlemen, sorry to keep you waiting.

Just to say in light of today's events we're going to

pull the plastic pigs reference. Today's...

We lost a community support officer in the shootings.

Oh, yeah? I mean... Because it does pay off that whole chase sequence.

I mean, if we lose that then all we've got to go out on

is the roll of underlay on the North Circular.

We're sorry... for your loss.

I think it's the right decision, this. We're all for transparency.

Within... limits.

The situation has changed

and my decision has changed to reflect the situation.

Of course, of course. No-one's saying you were wrong.

You were right before and you're right now.

Two opposite rights.

Look... Liz, can we just sign off?

Because the cut is locked and by the time this goes out...

Transmission's not for two months.

Six weeks.

Well, two months is not six weeks. No. No. Sure. Yeah.

But, basically... er...

no-one will even remember.

Tragically.

Probably.

Can we just get a holding sign-off, so you... A holding sign-off?

Is that made up?

Yes, that's made up. Yep.

Thank you, gentlemen.

He took that gob pretty well. Yeah. It's hard to take a gob.

Gob in the face, condom full of wallpaper paste,

shit in a paper bag.

Those are the big three.

I might e-mail a thumbs-up, yeah?

Yeah.

All right? All right?

New personality question there for armed training.

But I hacked it.

Got the right answers off a website. OK. The right answers.

And how different would your real answers be, mate?

I don't know.

Lots would be the same.

But then there's what you actually think, right?

All the murk and... fucking dirt.

And then there's what they expect you to say. That's another trap.

So then there's the level of what you actually put.

"I do not mind being interrupted when I am concentrating on a task."

That's not on here.

What would you say? Well, do ya? What, really?

Yeah.

Well, I fucking hate it.

But they know you fucking hate it.

And they also know if you put "agree strongly" then you're a bullshitter.

So the right answer is "agree moderately".

Er, yes, there was an emergency vehicle collision

but the officer driving wasn't to blame.

There will be a full investigation in coordination with the ambulance service

and we'll have more details at that point.

Look, if... if you're pushing me, I can go off the record.

Would you like the off-the-record situation?

Er, the ambulance driver was at the end of a long shift,

a very long shift.

He was of Somali origin, and they do chew this stimulant, khat.

Whether this driver was or not, I can't say right now. Anything?

Nothing new. I mean, everyone's saying it's the same guy.

Everyone... That's what everyone says, but no-one's said it,

but apparently they know. They know? But we don't know.

Well, you know, everyone knows. Everyone.

But no-one will actually say it, so we can't... you know...

..say.

Hi, Rob. Finn Kirkwood, Scotland Yard.

I've got an exclusive for the Mirror. Off the record. On guns.

The mayor, yeah.

Glory hunting.

Yeah, yeah. We have an idea, he cock-blocks us,

but as soon as any credit walks into the bar he wants to bang it.

Yeah. Yeah, seriously. I mean, I'll...

I'll let you have the numbers.

Right.

Er, listen, obviously this is

so far off the record even I don't know I'm saying it.

Yeah. Yeah, seriously, I'm... I'm sleep-talking.

Any minute now I'm going to wake up and be very peed off with myself.

Got another one, fatal. Oh, Jesus, where? Ealing. What do we have?

Male, dead. Nothing else yet.

I want the raw details on this as it goes to Gold Control.

Sir. I need you to update City Hall and number 10.

And we need to review what we have been doing up to this point.

And I want it made clear

that the Commissioner perceived this as an immediate threat...

Another one's gone down. Oh, shit! Another another?

Fuck! Lockdown? Or did you see Adeel? No. Adeel just said...

Is yours a new one? Where was it? Acton. Acton. This is a spree.

They're accelerating.

It looks like a potential long-range shot again, same MO.

Ealing or Acton or both? Uh... I don't...

Another one's gone down. Acton, male, 17.08.

Well, mine's male, 17.08.

Is this the same, is it three or four?

Four or five.

Who is your strong?

Straight from control room. We expedited it.

This came through for special attention. It's one new victim. One.

We're on four. Good, right... Things are calming down, that's good.

Four is so much better than five. That's true, actually.

Five sounds like half of ten. Whereas four is nearer to two.

We need to take control.

We need to tell people everything, including what we don't know.

Apparently, everyone here knows that the shootings are the same guy.

I do not know that. That has not been confirmed to me.

Tom, you two, out.

Look, Liz, if I say there is a sniper on the rampage

and there isn't, the city will shut down and I will get crucified.

Yes, but if there is... And then taken down and stabbed.

And then propped up at a Select Committee and buried under bullshit

from MPs grandstanding three months after the last blue light's gone out

who'd lock themselves in their downstairs toilet and call us out

if one lad in a hoodie turned up at their daughter's 18th.

And then I'll get dragged through the papers and stabbed again.

Up the arse. No need to be disgusting, Charlie.

Look, at this point, we need a face telling people where we're at.

Yes. OK. OK. You.

Is it best if it's me? Every resource we have is being deployed.

That's the message. We are flooding the streets with vehicles and officers.

Home Secretary.

All senior officers are focused on the task in hand.

That is the message.

I trust you, Liz.

Home Secretary.

Did you liaise with profiling?

I don't want to say a keyword that makes him go crazy.

No, no, we're good.

Are you OK? I mean, he's gone pretty fucking crazy already.

Liz. Pull her out of there. I need to give an update. ..Hi. Hi.

The ballistic report has been leaked.

It's the same weapon, a sniper rifle, definitely a single shooter.

Gold Control a planning to ask for a city lockdown, Plan Geneva.

Right, OK. We're not telling her.

What? "Planning to ask"? No.

We have a cut-off point for what she knows and we're beyond it.

This changes everything. Exactly.

That's the last thing we need. It doesn't hold. Well, it used to hold.

And I'm holding back time. You can't hold back time.

You're not fucking Michael J Fox or L'Oreal.

She can't know everything. Well, she should know this.

No, I'm protecting her from that.

That is unnecessary knowledge at this point.

Announce a lockdown - she'll get murdered. That's huge. That's...

Richard.

OK, are you ready?

All good? Just one thing. Yes?

Don't put out poison against the ambulance service, OK? Oh, right.

It doesn't look good.

You don't spin against Mother Teresa even if she is a smacked out prick.

Right? I just thought protecting our own...

I know this is a weird time to reprimand you. No, it's fine.

I just need to reprimand you quickly, so you're reprimanded, OK?

OK. And now we're over that. OK? Yes.

And tell them no more filming on the documentary.

We're going to pull cooperation from those TV pricks

until they've fallen into line.

Ladies and gentlemen, Liz Garvey, Director of Communications.

Intel, all the fatals have been at tube stations. That's it.

Two have been near Holland & Barrett. Should we pick that up?

I don't know. No. It's not going to be Holland & Barrett related, is it?

No, no, but...

I think what we really need is cameras... Er... Just a sec.

Two of the shootings were near health food stores.

Holland & Barrett's. Right, and? We just thought you should be aware.

Thank you. Just in case it becomes significant.

Once we have that up and running, I think that...

Bollocks!

I'm glad we said it, though, just in case.

Best to put it into the cooking pot.

Thank you very much, everyone, that's as much as we have time for.

Yes, one last.

We're hearing that your own ballistics say

that the same weapon was used in all the incidents.

Can you comment? Is that the case?

That is not the case

according to the information I have at this moment.

I'll wrap it up there, thank you, everyone.

Did you know about that? It's confirming it's the same guy.

We only just know, I thought it was best for you not to know.

But now you know. It was so great not knowing. Good call. Thank you.

It's Patrick, the mayor's office.

He wants to know why you were spinning against the mayor.

Tell him I don't know what he's talking about.

Hi, Pat, Liz doesn't know what you're talking about.

He says, like fuck you don't.

The Mirror journalist let him know off the record

Scotland Yard had briefed Tiberius was all us and the mayor resisted.

Tell him to tuck his dick up his ass and fill himself with piss

because I don't have time for this shit!

Oh. Hi... Dave. Dave. Good to see you.

Hi, Pat, we're going to have to get back to you on that.

Give us a couple of minutes.

'Believe it or not, this is rush-hour.

'Normally, there would be throngs of people passing through.

'But here at Cannon Street station...

'..The Metropolitan police haven't issued any formal warning to Londoners

'beyond the standard stay alert and report anything suspicious...'

'..Those who have come to work

'might find their journeys home a little less crowded than usual.'

Liz, just breaking. We've got him.

We are on pursuit through Herne Hill, Forest Hill, one of the hills.

Why did you go behind my back to the Mirror? What?

Brief against the mayor on Tiberius. I didn't. Fuck off!

The Mirror? I've done some digging.

Liz, sometimes it makes sense to do things on the quiet.

So I'm taking that as an admission and the act as insubordination.

You lied to me and I'm dismissing you. What?

You tried to fuck me and I'm not having it. Liz!

I'm serious. You can fuck off.

You can't fire your number two on your first day. Yes, I can.

What, in the middle of a fucking killing spree, how is that going to play?

Are you going to trump this crisis by kicking off a new one?

Nobody noticed yesterday's mass murder

because the Met's new head of comms

chopped her deputy's cock off in Whitehall.

Very funny.

You're funny.

You have until six to clean out your desk.

It looks like he's pulled up. Two ARVs are there.

It's going to be 15 for CTFO.

Can we get any kind of visuals in here, real-time?

They're sticking a drone up.

Any idea on the state of mind or target choices?

He came up from Brighton, taking out randoms.

Best guess this is a cry for attention from his ex.

Yes, well, good plan. To some extent, his plan is working.

So we're going on the ex-factor, eh?

Commissioner.

I just thought you should know,

it looks like the target has a Twitter account. Excuse me?

The guy they think is the shooter, he's been tweeting,

username Dr Teeth 2.

Dr Teeth? Is that significant?

It's from the Muppets.

Dr Teeth is the keyboard player from the Muppets.

Probably not significant. What's he been saying?

Rambling, lots directed to his ex, a lot of replies to Russell Brand.

Is he making demands?

It's mostly emoticons. Who else has picked up on this?

We've not confirmed the name, so no established media.

But it's starting to get traction. His buddies and rumours...

So shut it down. Shut it down?

Twitter?

The whole Internet? Cos... I don't know where the switch is.

You can talk to them about the account.

No. What if people start liking him?

Yeah, I guess the fact that he has shot all these innocent people

would be a factor in whether or not people like him.

Liz, we need to take control. We need to be practical.

There are officers out there, that is the reality.

You can't take control. That is the reality.

Put your dick in the dyke and you are just going to look like a jerk if the floodwaters pour over.

I can spend my time trying to pull his feed while it gets reposted a million other places.

Or I could put out the facts and confirm the name

and we become a trusted source.

You're communications, your call. Thank you.

'Uh-huh?' Hi, yeah, it's Finn.

Look, I know you're busy, but I need a favour.

She's got my balls in a vice. I just need something on her.

'OK, I'll get back to you.'

Wakey-wakey. OK, overtime. Who wants a piece of the action?

Multiple shootings, not very pleasant.

Vehicle searches, roadblocks, first half-hour is for the Queen

and then it's overtime a go-go.

I'll take it. Tosser with the gun. It's just the overtime fairy to me, ker-ching!

My dad yomped all the way into Port Stanley.

I think I can van it over to Wandsworth or wherever.

The thing is, we've got people coming round.

I'm doing fish curry, I bought the ingredients.

I've got a bag of fucking fish like a coal sack. Freeze it. Mince it.

Minced fish? Are you having a joke? Come on!

Come on! A nut job on the loose?!

Yeah, come on. Go on, then. Fuck the curry.

If my missus asks, there was no choice, right? I'm up for it.

You don't get a vote. Come on, girl, I'm part of the team.

I got a nickname, haven't I? Fuck off, that's your nickname.

Yeah, sorry, mate, that's the other thing. Cut, Spielberg. What?

It's time for you to naff off, mate, I'm afraid. But why?

Ours is not to reason why, ours is just to you cry.

But it's all kicking off, this is getting amazing. Sorry, pal.

Those are stone tablets from on top of the mountain.

Get out and take your share it with you.

Come on, guys, we're tight, we're a team.

Go and talk to you supervisor. We're foxtrot Oscar.

See you later, brother! Bye.

OK. The situation.

He entered number 51. Containment until I hear otherwise.

Could be hostages, could be anything. I'm onto Gold.

You guys cover black, one, two and three.

'Gold Control. What's happening? Give an update.'

He's inside a property. Could be hostages, could be anything.

Is there any Intel for me? Should we follow?

Going green.

Warwick? You set?

Sir.

Move back!

Keep moving.

Let's do it.

We're at the bottom of Westfield Park now. Just taping the road off.

The tactical commander wants authorisation to go in.

You want to go? Can you see me? I can try a Skype connection.

Should we go in after him?

Do you think you should go?

Have you tried Facetime? This is a shitty connection.

Look, if he gets settled, it's target rich from up there.

Were on the brow of a hill. What kind of hill? It's not massive, but...

How long to clear the immediate area? 20 minutes.

But even then, he could pick people off. To how far, to what distance?

Look, I don't know. Can you see that?

How far is over there? Over where?

Over there, to where we can't see? To the flats, over there, the flats.

Er... A mile?

We're estimating a mile, sir.

What are you minded to do?

I'm minded to ask you for direction. Uh-huh.

Look, if we don't go in, he could take pot shots.

But if we do, obviously,

there is a risk because we don't know what's in there. OK. OK.

I need Gold direction, sir. OK. We will give it to you. Good.

What is it? You'll be given...

Bollocks!

Let's light it up.

Searchlight. Get visuals.

That's Trojan 157. Are they advanced?

Tell Trojan 57 they have authorisation to act as they see fit

until we have strategic direction from Gold

as to what the interpretation of the situation is.

How many followers? 203.

But I think one of his mates has clocked it might be him,

so it's rocketing. What does that mean? This spelling is horrible.

Well, I suppose he's got other priorities.

Tactical commander wants to know whether to go.

What is that?

Who is that?

It's... Sharon.

I don't know.

What's the advice?

You have authorisation to act as you see fit

until we have strategic direction from Gold

as to what the interpretation of the situation is.

And that's it?

Yeah. Until there's new advice.

Sorry, sir, it's not safe for you to go up there right now. Seriously.

Really? Well, how long?

Could be five minutes could be three days. Apologies.

But it's right there. Look, seriously, mate,

I'm just going to nip home, all right? English law.

Right, hold on, pal, cool it.

Why don't you go and have a cup of tea and a wank? I live there.

Look, it's on my head, I'll just go, you didn't see me.

I'm going to have to ask you to step away.

Listen, it's my house, which I will own

and I want to get to my house, all right, boss?

Yeah? Is this guy having a laugh or something? Oi! Raj, leave it.

He's safe, he's not going to...

Oh, Jesus!

Stay down! I saved you!

I fucking saved you, you dickhead! Whose house now, eh?

Whose house?!

And the assessment we have

is that he has a field of fire clear for a mile? That's correct.

Are those crisps gluten free?

What's your view on the time before we can clear the one-mile radius?

Can we get some gluten free snacks for the Commissioner?

20 minutes, for the immediate area.

Say 40 minutes for a larger area.

You have the facts.

In my informal assessment, I would hold on intervention,

see how it plays out. Is that the house?

I think Pom Bears are gluten-free. Pom Bears.

19.34. That should be hold OFF on intervention, not hold.

That's just strategy, not tactics.

Yes, sorry, Commissioner.

I mean, technically, I'm not even here. Can you get Hopwood?

OK, great.

OK, it's him.

Confirm the name to the media

and let them know that we know that he has a Twitter handle.

LMFAO. He's tweeted LMFAO 16 times.

Sat on his phone?

Or is this guy on the spectrum?

Well, there is background.

Intel is he's had a lot of contact with mental health.

Do we definitely want to live tweet the execution of a...

Not a retard, but...

We're not hiding. Release it.

Mike, it's me.

Intel, sir.

We want you to play the waiting game.

Intel is this might be his ex's place. OK, fine. Understood.

Shit. At least he spelt it properly. So it doesn't look so...

I mean, it could be worse.

Yeah? Not really.

Unless he rips off a mask to reveal he's actually an eight-year-old.

Hey.

I reckon there's a muzzle at window three. What do you think?

I think he's a fucking shooter. He likes shooting.

I think before he gets set up, we go in.

Yeah. Yeah, we're going in.

We're in.

Trojan 157. We're taking emergency action.

Cover. On me.

What are they doing?

Are they moving in? What's the Intel?

'What's happening, Trojan 1?' Maybe they're taking up position.

No, no, that's a proactive...

Warwick? Are you all right?

Was that us? That was him.

'Trojan 1, what's the situation?' Look, we're going in.

I think we're going in. You think you're going in?

We are going in, are we? They think they're going in?

No. Don't go in.

Commissioner.

He might have shot. Who shot?

Can we clarify before we go in?

Move, move, move!

Pull back. I don't want to go in there.

We're going in. We have gone in.

Move, move, move!

He's gone through the wall. He is next door. I repeat, he's next door.

He's in the next house.

He is out. He's out the back. In the gardens, heading towards Black Green.

Right, he's out Black Green. Warwick, you want it?

He's on his way to you.

Warwick, can you see him? I've got him.

'Man down.'

One dead.

TSG.

Fucking hell.

Get her out of here.

The shooter is dead, one TSG hit by a ricochet. Just a flesh wound.

Thank God.

Please send my congratulations on a good job,

well done with supreme professionalism.

The Commissioner wants to send his personal thanks for a good job,

well done.

You all right?

What happened?

I thought I could, but I couldn't get a clear sight.

Right. I made the call, I had to make the call.

Sure, mate.

Is that your frying pan hand, then?

I hope your old man knows how to fly his own chips.

Apparently, I'm going to lose it.

Although I think I can feel something coming back.

It's a miracle.

I think it was perfectly clear.

The guys on the ground kept in constant contact,

you were kept abreast of the operation and you made key interventions.

Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, it was a mess. So you know, I do know.

It was handled with supreme professionalism.

And the PCSO thing. Yes?

I just wanted to say that I thought, on a personal level,

that was a very decent thing to do.

Thank you.

I'm sorry your first day was such a fucker.

That's a technical term.

Exciting though, eh?

It was exciting.

Front page. Hmm, yeah, not great.

Yeah, well, transparency.

I actually believe in it. That's my flag.

You don't set fire to your flag at the first sign of trouble. Yeah.

Yeah.

We could have buried it. I could have got you the easy win today.

Then it trickles out. And you're fucked tomorrow.

Trust. This is a new game and you're playing for keeps.

And so would you say you fired Finn today?

That's a grey area. Really.

But overall, yeah, I fired him. Fine. Understood.

But just so you know, the pub across the road, the Two Chairmen,

it does horrible pies.

Yeah? A great tip-off.

Maybe you'd like to share one.

Finn loves those grey pies.

Good night, Liz.

He's doing you a favour.

You sack me, you're going to look like a liability.

You're the liability. What if I did leak that story?

What if he told me to? Did he? He didn't need to.

You should have told me. There wasn't time to tell you.

Was there time to have lunch? Was there time to take a piss?

Was there time to adjust your sweaty ball sack? I talc my sac.

You need me. I need you gone.

You need me because everyone around here

knows what Richard paid to poach you. What? Yeah.

And about the special pay grade

and the bump that doesn't have to go public.

Whatever remuneration package I may or may not be receiving...

Just remember... ..has no bearing. ..open communication channels, transparency.

Anyone you talk to, senior or junior, when they're looking at you,

what they're really seeing is 250K plus tattooed across your face.

And they're subtracting whatever it is they earn

and coming up with a sum which works out at roughly fuck me! Really?

That's where I come in.

You get up late, have a wheat free fucking bagel in your gold helicopter

and I'm the ground crew.

All right, geezer, do us a solid, yeah?

So...

..still want me to clear my desk?

'A 24/7 world requires 360 degrees of communication.'

You have to ask yourself - are you North or South Korea?

'The most informationally defended nation in the world

'or the most networked?

'Personally, I'm eating my kimchi in central Seoul.'

Oi! We are the police, we are in charge.

Fuck off! That is the message.

Fucking off. Fucking off. Step away from the fucking...

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck off!

I will ver-ver-ver-verbally dominate you.

I'd have a crash helmet and a petrol bomb. Come on.

A proper nut job on the loose!

Do you fucking understand?!

Maybe be better given a bit of Kurdistan,

then they'll calm down, do you know what I mean?

Fucking vertical downpour, end of.

We are the daddies, the sheriffs of this town.

Fuck off! That is the message.

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