All language subtitles for Angie Tribeca s04e02.eng

Clef:
Oh, my darling

[Engine revs]

These armadillos are getting
to be a goddamn menace.

Why don't they just build cars
out of armadillo skin?

Well, shit, Larry.

That's a million-dollar idea
you got there.

It'd be a real shame
if someone... stole it from ya.

Someone's coming.

[Clears throat]

Afternoon, boys.

I appreciate your service,

but I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to take it from here.

Fine by us.

I said, I'm gonna take it from here!

[Electricity zaps]

[Gunshot fires]

I've recently been handed
a rather bleak diagnosis

and may not have much
longer on this earth,

so I thought to myself, what a
perfect time to adopt a baby.

What's going on here?

What is the Special Division Force?

I told you, we take on cases...

I know what the official explanation is,

but I want to know
what we're really doing.

Right now, our only job is to follow

the orders of the Vice President.

Vice President Perry?

The man who not only threw me into jail

but whose administration
has been plagued by scandal

since he was elected?

He's no John Nance Garner,

but he's the only
Vice President we've got!

John Nance Garner?

He's barely Schuyler Colfax.

Sir, how do we know
if we're even the good guys?

Tribeca, look me in the eye.

We are the good guys.

I stole the dead teacher from the cops.

Now what?

His name is Charlie Clef.

Come on, Hoffman. Sorry, Murphy.

Above your pay grade.

He was a beloved
computer science teacher

at Freddie Prinze Junior Senior
High School in Amarillo, Texas.

He was also the most
prolific distributor

of malware and computer exploits
in the Northern Hemisphere.

His clients included
terrorist organizations,

hostile foreign governments,

and people who want
to see celebrities naked.

So now he's dead. End of story, right?

Wrong. Beginning of story.

Clef had just put the finishing touches

on a particularly
damaging computer virus.

The kind of thing that
shuts down power grids

and publishes your browsing history.

So now he's dead. End of story, right?

Wrong!

Middle of story!

His death provides us
with a unique opportunity

to take his place and flush out
a high-profile buyer

who recently expressed interest in...

what was the name of the virus?

LamarModem.

Tribeca will impersonate Clef

and try to make contact with the buyer

while the rest of us infiltrate
the high school genre

in supporting roles.

I have one question.

One sec.

- Any questions?
- Uh, yes.

Will you be taking questions?

At the end. Anything else?

Is Vice President Perry a crook?

I am warning you, Tribeca!

Now get to Prosthetics
for your disguise fitting!

Yes, sir.

Hey. What the hell is with you?

Don't talk to me like that.

I didn't raise you to be disrespectful.

You didn't raise me at all.

So it didn't come from me.

Look, I-I read your autobiography, okay?

I know that you're a lone wolf that...

that doesn't trust the system,

but I care about what we're doing,

and I expect you to care about it, too.

Maybe I'll care if I can figure out

if we're actually fighting
for the right side.

Oh, okay, well, that's just great.

Well, you know what?

Besides my birth,
this is the first thing you

and I have done as mother and son.

And if that's not enough for you
to care about this,

then I guess it's high time

I pick up a few bad habits

and fall in with the wrong crowd.

[Skateboard wheels whir]

[Fast-paced piano music playing]

Let's do this.

You were born Charles
John Jacob Jingleheimer Clef

in Plano, Texas, on December 12, 1961.

As an only child, you craved
your parents' approval,

and as an adult, you seek that
approval from your students.

Your intellectual
proclivities unfulfilled

by the banal environment
of secondary education,

you turned to the more challenging world

of malevolent software programming.

Favorite food... pizza.

Let's see what we got.

- Perfect.
- Wow.

This is going to take
some getting used to.

Now, remember, kids are
very different nowadays.

They're very confident,
they're sex-positive,

they're body-positive.

And some of them have
unwarranted high self-esteem.

If it's so unwarranted,
why am I so great?

Good luck, Tribeca.

Or should I say...?

Mr. Clef?

Yes, Delroy?

I can't get my subroutine to run.

Looks like there's
a parsing error in line 19.

- What's the error?
- Well, if I told you that...

- You wouldn't be teaching,
- I wouldn't be teaching,

- you'd be telling.
- I'd be telling.

- That's right.
- [Bell rings]

All right, everybody,
websites are due Friday.

Mr. C., can I... No, Tommy,
you cannot have an extension.

You're the best, Mr. C.

Charo, Scholls, you're geniuses.

This is going to be a piece of cake.

I knew it.

Come on, Mr. Clef, we're gonna
be late for practice.

What practice?

[Laughs]

You're so funny, Mr. C.

Glee Club practice.

You're the coach.

[Laughs]

We've got a problem.

[Bell rings]

Man: It's a beautiful day
for football practice

as the Freddie Prinze Junior
Senior High squad

runs their plays against a mock defense.

But the team's in some
hot water this week

after a local paper ran an editorial

suggesting that their team name

was offensive to Native Americans.

I don't know how they got there
from Drunken Injuns,

but, hey, I'm just a football fan.

[Whistle blows]

No! Jesus!

Eleven, get your ass over here!

[Spits]

It's a simple read option!

You look for the hole!

If it's not there, you pitch
to the running back!

Durphy wasn't in position...

I don't want to hear about Durphy!

His parents are divorcing!

He may be a step behind for a while!

Your dad cheated on your mom,
so she's kicking him out.

But that's not your fault,
so don't take that on.

Thanks, Coach.

Hit the showers, buddy.

- [Whistle blows]
- Now run it again!

This time with your head
on the outside of your ass!

Yes, sir.

- [Cellphone rings]
- This is Coach.

Oh, hey, Coach.

It's Mr. Clef,

who, when he's not busy selling malware,

apparently runs the Glee Club.

Damn it!

How did we not see that coming?

I don't know, but I did not study up

on anything but computer science.

I don't know anything about
F sharps and G minuses.

Look, Tribeca, we are here

to stop the spread of computer viruses,

so you just hang on until you
get contacted by the buyer.

And then we will tell the kids
their teacher is dead

and we will get the hell out of here.

Fine.

All right, everyone.

Well, obviously I know your
names, but maybe just for fun,

you guys can sing your name

and then the thing you're gonna
overcome before the big concert.

[Off-key]
I'm Maria

- Okay, all right. Next.
- [Off-key]
I'm Pradeep

Peter:
I'm Peter

We don't need to hear from everyone.

All right, so, should we, uh,

pick it up from where we
left off last practice?

Last practice you said
that you were going to write

a brand-new song for us to try.

I did. I did.

Okay. Um, and yes, here it is.

I hope that you like it.

[Clears throat]

Oh, my God.

I love it.

All right, great.

All right, should we try it?

Okay. And a one and a two and a...

[All singing off-key]

My water just broke!

[Bell rings]

No, sir, I have not heard
from the buyer yet,

but I did listen to the worst singers

in the history of the world.

I delivered a baby and...
Yeah, I can ask,

but I think the
grandmother's raising it.

Now, if I could just find some
decent confiscated snacks...

And paydirt.

All right, I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Okay, love you too.

[Chat alert beeps]
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[Bell rings]

Hey, what the hell happened
with tracking my target?

He got totally spooked.

Now, now, Tribeca, have a seat.

Help yourself to a burger.

I don't want to point any
fingers, but she messed up.

Atkins: Let's not play the blame game!

Always takes forever.

How about Cards Against Humanity?

I masked my IP address with
triple DES 168-bit encryption.

My little brother has triple
DES 168-bit encryption.

Your technology is so two days ago.

At least I've lost my virginity.

So have I. He just lives in Europe.

Knock it off, you two!

Oh, it's eight players. That won't work.

It'll be a miracle if he shows
up at the loading dock tonight.

Where's A.J.? School was out
like 20 minutes ago.

I'm afraid A.J.'s having
a hard time here.

He's fallen in with a bad crowd.

Oh, Lana likes what she sees.

- I don't know about these clothes.
- Oh, trust me.

Those shorts squeeze you
in all the right places,

and in one place
that's very, very wrong.

Here. Take a hit of this.

- What's in that?
- Nothing much.

Glucose, Electrolytes, some B vitamins.

What if they test my urine?

That's what this is for.

That's a clean urine
in case they test you.

Yeah, I know, I know.

Okay, guys, let's log some miles.

What are you doing?

Oh, shoot, it's my mom.

Wait, Mr. Clef is your mom?

No, I meant to say my moon.

Mr. Clef is your moon? That sucks.

Where do you think you're going?

You are gonna get off that bike

and you're coming with me this minute.

The only place he's going
is Stoneybrook Bike Path.

So back off, old man.

I would watch that mouth, young lady.

What are you gonna do? I'm
already accepted at Stanford.

You look ridiculous.

This is how you want to spend your time?

At least these people believe
in what they're doing.

All right, let's go, A.J.
And you know what?

If you do a good job today,

I'm gonna teach you
how to shave your legs.

Sorry, Mr. Clef.

I got to go.

[Coughs]

- [Horn honks]
- Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?

[Bell rings]

You wanted to see me, sir?

Yeah, Scholls, come on in. Take a knee.

You know, this is a big case
we got going on here,

and there's a lot of
pressure on everybody.

Yes, sir.

I'm just a little worried
your head's not totally in it.

Charo gets under my skin.

Charo's young. She's hungry.

You just concentrate on what you have...

wisdom, experience, and a smile

that could light up New York City.

Okay. I'll try.

Hey! You can leave "try"

out there with the dirty jock straps!

You get 'er done, you hear?!

Yes, sir!

Now drop and give me 20!

Merlot: [French accent] Hello, Mr. Clef.

Who's there?

I am Claude Merlot.

Do you have the virus?

Where are you? I can't see you.

Do you have the virus?

Yes, I have it right here.

But you need to expose yourself.

Okay, I'm doing it.

Put the virus on the ground.

Not until I see your face.

The National Glee Club
Championship is tomorrow.

This high school has won
every year the past 12 years

under Charlie Clef's coaching.

If you are who you say you are,
your team will win,

and then we will make the exchange.

Yeah, well, if that's
what you want, fine.

It's no problem with me.

I mean, I was planning
on winning anyway.

Until tomorrow then.

By the way, I am not in this Dumpster.

-
Happy birthday

No! No!

You're sharp, you're flat,
you're breastfeeding,

and you're, like, amazing.

Oh, I know. I was just faking it before.

What is it going to take for you
people to get your act together?

Peter, if you miss
your mark one more time,

I am going to thwack you over
the head with your own [bleep]

I am trying, okay?
Todd's wheelchair is in the way.

Seriously, Todd, just stand up
and do the choreography.

Whoa, that is way out of line.

Todd has Plantar Fasciitis, okay?

You have no idea what it's like
to be in his orthotic shoes.

I'm okay.

I'm sorry.

Okay?

I'm guessing that I used to be
really good with kids,

but the Mr. Clef who woke
up yesterday morning

doesn't have a clue about
how to connect with a child.

I thought it'd be easy, you know.

Feed them, water them,
shear them when they get woolly.

But it turns out...

it's more than just that.

You have to listen to them
and you have to pretend

the things they care about
aren't stupid.

Well, that doesn't come easily to me.

Suddenly, in the last two days.

But the National Championships
are this afternoon,

and the stakes of winning
have never been higher.

So let's make a deal.

You guys try not to be terrible,

and that would be great.

Who's in?

[Slow clapping]

Sorry.

[Cheers and applause]

I hate to say it, but I
think we have no chance

of winning this tournament.

Merlot's gonna know
I'm not the real Clef.

Stop eating your hair!

I can't!

Announcer: And now,
the final club of the night,

the 12-time defending
national champions,

The Freddie Prinze Junior
Senior High School

Martha Plimp-tones.

[Cheers and applause]

[Hoffman howls]

[Cheers and applause]

Whoo! Nailed it!

[Cheers and applause continue]

It's him. It's Merlot.

He's getting away!

Good!

Thank you, A.J.

Don't worry about it, Mr. Clef.

Hey, it doesn't matter that we lost.

- You should all feel really...
- Hang on, Mr. Clef.

Announcer: May I have
your attention, please.

The winning team has been disqualified.

A [bleep] [bleep] has been found

in one of the student's backpacks.

First place goes to...

Freddie Prinze Junior
Senior High Martha Plimp-tones!

- [Applause]
- Good job, Peter.

What are you talking about, Mr. Clef?

You have us plant a [bleep] every year.

Yes, I do, Peter.

Yes, I do. Yeah!

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