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1
00:00:00,246 --> 00:00:03,677
Going all the way up to the
front, if you want to follow me.
2
00:00:03,765 --> 00:00:05,765
All the way up here, file in please.
3
00:00:06,716 --> 00:00:10,038
Here is the museum's most valuable piece,
4
00:00:10,063 --> 00:00:12,954
"Thumb", painted by Carpaccio MacGuffin
5
00:00:12,955 --> 00:00:14,658
the Scottish Italian master,
6
00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:18,934
this painting is the last work he
ever did before he went into seclusion.
7
00:00:18,934 --> 00:00:21,653
It is worth well over $10 million.
8
00:00:21,654 --> 00:00:24,091
Look in front of you,
see these velvet ropes,
9
00:00:24,116 --> 00:00:27,428
they prevent anyone from
getting close to the painting.
10
00:00:27,616 --> 00:00:29,195
[Oohh!]
11
00:00:29,207 --> 00:00:33,994
And as an added level of
security, look at the sign.
12
00:00:34,079 --> 00:00:36,772
Let's move on to the room
with the boring pots in it.
13
00:00:36,772 --> 00:00:41,359
Follow me right this
way. Everyone this way.
14
00:00:42,728 --> 00:00:44,919
- And to your right.
-
15
00:01:20,967 --> 00:01:25,118
I don't believe indigenous people had
micro waves and one could only imagine
16
00:01:25,142 --> 00:01:27,100
the bland food they cooked in these pots.
17
00:01:27,101 --> 00:01:31,014
Here we have well preserved
examples of Greek and Roman statutes,
18
00:01:31,014 --> 00:01:34,684
you can see that they're a
depiction of the ideal human form
19
00:01:34,735 --> 00:01:36,420
except for this one, of course,
20
00:01:36,445 --> 00:01:41,617
which is the fat slovenly Cupid, god of
love, clearly he loved pizza most of all.
21
00:01:41,641 --> 00:01:43,641
[Laughter]
22
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:48,619
Now follow me over here and take a
look at the museum's most prized...
23
00:01:50,209 --> 00:01:54,755
[Scream]
24
00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:06,340
Tribeca, Geils!
25
00:02:07,217 --> 00:02:09,809
Toby, knock it off, will you?
26
00:02:09,809 --> 00:02:11,790
Sorry, Lieutenant the other
day you requested more hubbub.
27
00:02:11,889 --> 00:02:15,510
- OK. Take it down to a dull roar.
- Gottcha.
28
00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:20,181
Geils, Tribeca, my office.
29
00:02:24,232 --> 00:02:26,800
- You wanted to see us, sir?
- Yeah, you ever heard of
30
00:02:26,825 --> 00:02:30,185
- Carpaccio MacGuffin?
- The Scottish Italian master
31
00:02:30,185 --> 00:02:32,722
who disappeared after painting
his masterwork "Thumb"?
32
00:02:32,831 --> 00:02:36,389
Yes, obviously. MacGuffin's
"Thumb" disappeared
33
00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:39,425
- from the Olsen-Medavoy Gallery this morning.
- The OMG.
34
00:02:39,510 --> 00:02:41,641
I thought it was at the
Lewis Oberby Library.
35
00:02:41,741 --> 00:02:45,348
The LOL, don't make me laugh,
that burned down last year,
36
00:02:45,348 --> 00:02:47,465
- so they moved it.
- And what did they build in its place?
37
00:02:47,466 --> 00:02:51,191
Another one of those damn parking
garages from the Wayne Tyson Foundation.
38
00:02:51,191 --> 00:02:53,574
- WTF!
- I know just what we needed,
39
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:54,987
but you heard about Tyson, right?
40
00:02:54,987 --> 00:02:58,105
He came down with a
testicular membrane infection.
41
00:02:58,205 --> 00:03:00,274
- TMI?
- For realsies.
42
00:03:00,274 --> 00:03:03,945
This is your divorce agreement.
Btdubs, you got robbed.
43
00:03:03,946 --> 00:03:06,800
I know. FML.
44
00:03:19,637 --> 00:03:21,968
It's okay, kid, you wouldn't
be human if you didn't
45
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:24,258
have some type of reaction
to a missing painting.
46
00:03:25,057 --> 00:03:29,521
[Dog barking]
47
00:03:29,545 --> 00:03:31,545
- Scholls, what do got here?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, Detective.
48
00:03:31,769 --> 00:03:33,569
Watch out for the velvet ropes.
49
00:03:34,391 --> 00:03:36,807
- What do we got?
- Whoever did this knew what he was doing.
50
00:03:36,831 --> 00:03:38,144
He got past the ropes no problem.
51
00:03:38,145 --> 00:03:40,530
- So what about the sign?
- He was very clever here.
52
00:03:40,630 --> 00:03:44,159
Look how he altered the meaning of the sign
by spray painting over the word "not".
53
00:03:44,159 --> 00:03:47,425
"Do touch". Man, that's diabolical.
54
00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:49,572
We're taking as many prints as possible.
55
00:03:49,672 --> 00:03:51,175
We'll let you know what we come up with.
56
00:03:52,385 --> 00:03:54,408
What's going on with this pedestal here.
57
00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:55,760
Oh there was a cupid statute there
58
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,539
but it was just a temporary exhibit on loan
59
00:03:57,564 --> 00:04:01,903
from an antiquities dealer, a Dr. Zaius.
60
00:04:02,091 --> 00:04:05,523
- We're on it.
- Well Tribeca, time for a checkup.
61
00:04:05,548 --> 00:04:10,574
- If the doctor is in.
- I sure hope so, I have a scrotal hernia.
62
00:04:27,507 --> 00:04:30,086
I just love old stuff. Everything about it.
63
00:04:30,110 --> 00:04:32,110
The smell, the feel...
64
00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:37,078
- L.A.P.D., are you Dr. Zaius?
- Oh no, Dr. Zaius is my brother.
65
00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:39,102
I'm just Mr. Zaius.
66
00:04:39,838 --> 00:04:43,055
- You guys can call me Randy.
- Quite a shiner you've got there, Randy.
67
00:04:43,155 --> 00:04:44,606
Oh, thank you.
68
00:04:45,114 --> 00:04:46,372
I call it a mop.
69
00:04:46,425 --> 00:04:48,590
- Is your brother around?
- Oh, yeah. Sorry.
70
00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:52,825
Randy? What kind of a name is "Randy"?
71
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:56,219
It's Welsh actually. Good
afternoon, I'm Dr. Zaius.
72
00:04:56,219 --> 00:04:57,385
How can I help you?
73
00:04:57,387 --> 00:04:59,454
Wow, you really do look
a lot like your brother.
74
00:04:59,556 --> 00:05:02,056
Really? I don't see it. Please come in.
75
00:05:02,058 --> 00:05:04,943
76
00:05:12,902 --> 00:05:14,402
Would you like some coffee?
77
00:05:14,404 --> 00:05:15,787
Yes, please.
78
00:05:15,789 --> 00:05:17,905
I'm Detective Tribeca,
this is Detective Geils,
79
00:05:17,907 --> 00:05:19,407
and we're here to talk to you
about what happened
80
00:05:19,409 --> 00:05:21,125
at the Olsen-Medavoy Gallery.
81
00:05:21,127 --> 00:05:23,294
[Both slurp]
82
00:05:23,296 --> 00:05:24,245
Ohh! Aah!
83
00:05:24,247 --> 00:05:26,080
Oh, my god, that's terrible.
84
00:05:26,082 --> 00:05:28,249
- And really cold.
- I'm not surprised.
85
00:05:28,251 --> 00:05:30,885
This coffee was brewed
by Napoleon Bonaparte
86
00:05:30,887 --> 00:05:32,804
just before the Battle of Waterloo.
87
00:05:32,806 --> 00:05:34,255
[Blows]
88
00:05:34,257 --> 00:05:36,557
Would you care for some macaroons
89
00:05:36,559 --> 00:05:38,259
from the age of enlightenment?
90
00:05:38,261 --> 00:05:40,971
How about a potato chip from
the Kennedy administration?
91
00:05:41,272 --> 00:05:42,072
Okay.
92
00:05:42,143 --> 00:05:44,042
Were you aware
that MacGuffin's "Thumb"
93
00:05:44,147 --> 00:05:46,294
was stolen from the OMG this morning?
94
00:05:46,349 --> 00:05:49,934
How awful. That's such a seminal piece.
95
00:05:49,936 --> 00:05:51,269
[Chuckles]
96
00:05:51,271 --> 00:05:52,737
That's not what it means.
97
00:05:52,739 --> 00:05:57,692
Apparently, one of your statues
was on loan to the museum from...
98
00:05:57,694 --> 00:05:59,611
yesterday to today.
99
00:05:59,613 --> 00:06:02,497
I'm always happy to share
my antiquities with the world.
100
00:06:02,499 --> 00:06:04,365
They really belong to all of us.
101
00:06:04,367 --> 00:06:06,451
- Can we see it?
- No. It's mine.
102
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:08,753
The painting was there. The statue arrives.
103
00:06:08,755 --> 00:06:11,873
The painting disappears.
The statue disappears.
104
00:06:11,875 --> 00:06:14,676
If you say so. Frankly, the
comings and goings of the pieces
105
00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:17,378
is Randy's responsibility,
and he's a first-class idiot,
106
00:06:17,380 --> 00:06:19,214
a real dumb-dumb double zero.
107
00:06:19,216 --> 00:06:21,216
Now, if you'll excuse me, the cake from
108
00:06:21,218 --> 00:06:23,718
Theodore Roosevelt's 35th
birthday just arrived,
109
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:25,386
and it's in terrible condition.
110
00:06:25,388 --> 00:06:26,471
Sit down, Zaius!
111
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,301
You're trying to tell me
112
00:06:28,327 --> 00:06:30,124
that that timeline is coincidental?
113
00:06:30,238 --> 00:06:31,488
How dare you come in here
114
00:06:31,489 --> 00:06:34,239
with your cheap suit
and your lousy haircut?
115
00:06:34,241 --> 00:06:35,874
Where did you get that, ladies prison?
116
00:06:35,899 --> 00:06:37,899
Salon Training Studio.
117
00:06:37,924 --> 00:06:38,639
How about this?
118
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,849
I'll make some inquiries in
the art world, ask around.
119
00:06:41,955 --> 00:06:44,706
If I find anything out, I'll call you.
120
00:06:45,182 --> 00:06:46,265
What's the number?
121
00:06:46,290 --> 00:06:48,358
- It's 3...
- Oh, hold on.
122
00:06:48,470 --> 00:06:50,470
Ink dried up.
123
00:06:50,472 --> 00:06:51,438
Go ahead.
124
00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:53,773
- It's 3...
- Oh, dried up again.
125
00:06:53,775 --> 00:06:55,892
[Chuckles] Go ahead.
126
00:06:55,894 --> 00:06:56,977
- It's 3...
- Oops.
127
00:06:56,979 --> 00:06:59,145
Dried up. Sorry. [Chuckles]
128
00:06:59,147 --> 00:07:00,730
One more time. Go ahead.
129
00:07:00,732 --> 00:07:03,066
- It's 3...
- No, it dried up. Sorry.
130
00:07:04,119 --> 00:07:05,819
- Go ahead.
- It's 3...
131
00:07:05,821 --> 00:07:07,704
Ah, shoot. Dried up.
132
00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:11,157
- It's 3...
- No, it dried up again.
133
00:07:11,159 --> 00:07:13,577
So sorry. One more time. Go.
134
00:07:13,579 --> 00:07:15,712
- It's 3...
- All right, don't say "it's."
135
00:07:15,714 --> 00:07:18,298
That's what's taking the
time... the word "it's."
136
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:20,584
You say it, it dries up, okay?
137
00:07:20,586 --> 00:07:21,586
Go.
138
00:07:21,587 --> 00:07:23,920
- 3...
- Too late.
139
00:07:25,173 --> 00:07:26,840
Tell you what... I have
a photographic memory.
140
00:07:26,842 --> 00:07:29,309
You say it, and I'll...
I'll just remember it.
141
00:07:29,311 --> 00:07:30,311
- Go ahead.
- Okay, 333...
142
00:07:30,312 --> 00:07:32,395
- Mm-hmm...
- 2333.
143
00:07:32,397 --> 00:07:34,014
Okay, start any time you want.
144
00:07:34,016 --> 00:07:35,849
145
00:07:37,064 --> 00:07:40,204
[Sighs] I feel like Dr. Zaius
is giving us the runaround.
146
00:07:40,205 --> 00:07:42,135
You think he has something to
do with the stolen painting?
147
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,634
I don't know. I think this
one we just leave unsolved.
148
00:07:44,634 --> 00:07:45,879
Leave unsolved?
149
00:07:46,035 --> 00:07:48,746
I've literally never heard either of
those words come out of your mouth,
150
00:07:48,809 --> 00:07:50,104
and I've known you for three weeks.
151
00:07:50,106 --> 00:07:52,391
It's just a dumb, old painting. Who cares?
152
00:07:52,647 --> 00:07:53,343
"Who cares?"
153
00:07:53,462 --> 00:07:55,893
I've literally never heard either of
those words come out of your mouth,
154
00:07:55,895 --> 00:07:57,361
and I've known you for three weeks.
155
00:07:57,363 --> 00:07:59,527
Is there something going
on here I don't know about?
156
00:07:59,918 --> 00:08:01,365
Let's just drop it, okay?
157
00:08:01,367 --> 00:08:03,701
- I'll tell you when you really push me on it later.
- Fine.
158
00:08:03,703 --> 00:08:06,070
If Dr. Zaius hasn't given
us enough information
159
00:08:06,072 --> 00:08:07,955
to make him a prime suspect,
160
00:08:07,957 --> 00:08:10,541
maybe his brother, Randy, can chime in.
161
00:08:10,543 --> 00:08:11,993
Are you in or out?
162
00:08:11,995 --> 00:08:15,129
[Sighs] Let's roll.
163
00:08:18,101 --> 00:08:21,569
[Knocking on door]
164
00:08:22,405 --> 00:08:23,704
Oh.
165
00:08:23,706 --> 00:08:24,906
Yeah?
166
00:08:24,908 --> 00:08:26,908
Randy Zaius? L.A.P.D.
167
00:08:26,910 --> 00:08:28,459
Do you remember us from this afternoon?
168
00:08:28,461 --> 00:08:30,544
Oh, yeah, yeah. I remember you guys.
169
00:08:30,546 --> 00:08:31,579
Come on in.
170
00:08:31,581 --> 00:08:34,048
171
00:08:37,544 --> 00:08:38,723
Nice place.
172
00:08:38,748 --> 00:08:41,914
Thanks. It's cheap, but it's inexpensive.
173
00:08:42,024 --> 00:08:44,774
No one gets into the
antiquities game for the money.
174
00:08:44,776 --> 00:08:46,610
It's funny that you mention
that because I noticed
175
00:08:46,612 --> 00:08:50,147
that your brother, Dr. Zaius,
was wearing a $1,500 suit today.
176
00:08:50,149 --> 00:08:51,565
We took a look at his tax records,
177
00:08:51,567 --> 00:08:54,651
and it turns out he owns
a boathouse, a house boat,
178
00:08:54,653 --> 00:08:56,987
a pool house and a house pool.
179
00:08:56,989 --> 00:09:00,157
Oh, I wouldn't know. I've
never been to his house.
180
00:09:00,159 --> 00:09:02,075
Hmm. Did you paint that?
181
00:09:02,077 --> 00:09:04,327
Yeah. It's not very good, I know.
182
00:09:04,329 --> 00:09:05,623
But I'm... I'm just starting.
183
00:09:05,723 --> 00:09:07,686
A kangaroo with a light switch for a head.
184
00:09:07,749 --> 00:09:09,715
What do you call it... a kanger-switch?
185
00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:11,000
Actually, it's a switcheroo.
186
00:09:11,002 --> 00:09:12,635
Clever. I'd like to buy it.
187
00:09:12,637 --> 00:09:14,337
Oh, you don't want that.
It's a terrible painting.
188
00:09:14,339 --> 00:09:15,838
You can get something better than that.
189
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:16,631
That one's garbage.
190
00:09:16,631 --> 00:09:19,178
Did Dr. Zaius give you
that black eye, Randy?
191
00:09:19,334 --> 00:09:21,584
Yeah, but we like to punch
each other in the eye.
192
00:09:21,586 --> 00:09:23,169
I mean, I punched him yesterday,
193
00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:24,420
so it was kind of his turn.
194
00:09:24,422 --> 00:09:25,922
It's a game. We call it "punch punch."
195
00:09:25,924 --> 00:09:27,590
Your brother doesn't treat
you very well, does he?
196
00:09:27,593 --> 00:09:29,510
Do you know anything about Dr. Zaius
197
00:09:29,511 --> 00:09:31,261
and the theft of MacGuffin's "Thumb"?
198
00:09:33,481 --> 00:09:36,649
If you'll excuse me, I have to, uh...
199
00:09:36,651 --> 00:09:39,235
I have to use the restroom.
200
00:09:40,822 --> 00:09:42,989
Let's spread out.
201
00:09:42,991 --> 00:09:45,775
202
00:09:45,777 --> 00:09:48,111
[Zipper opens]
203
00:09:48,113 --> 00:09:50,330
[Urinating]
204
00:10:03,206 --> 00:10:04,572
Tribeca, get over here.
205
00:10:04,574 --> 00:10:05,873
On my way.
206
00:10:06,424 --> 00:10:07,502
What's up?
207
00:10:10,213 --> 00:10:11,746
MacGuffin's "Thumb."
208
00:10:11,748 --> 00:10:13,248
[Toilet flushes]
209
00:10:13,250 --> 00:10:15,300
If you'll excuse me, uh,
210
00:10:15,302 --> 00:10:17,085
all my roommates are
about to show up, so I...
211
00:10:17,087 --> 00:10:18,970
- You son of a bitch!
- Aah!
212
00:10:18,972 --> 00:10:20,338
Whoa!
213
00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:21,889
You're under arrest for grand theft art-o.
214
00:10:21,891 --> 00:10:23,174
It's not what you think.
215
00:10:23,176 --> 00:10:24,225
Give me a reason!
216
00:10:24,227 --> 00:10:25,810
- [Grunts]
- I dare you.
217
00:10:25,812 --> 00:10:27,345
He just took a painting.
It's not that big of a deal.
218
00:10:27,347 --> 00:10:29,514
Don't tell me how to do my job!
219
00:10:29,516 --> 00:10:30,682
- Ohh!
- Give me a reason!
220
00:10:30,684 --> 00:10:32,233
- [Bones crack]
- I dare you!
221
00:10:32,235 --> 00:10:33,568
Ohh! Aah!
222
00:10:39,364 --> 00:10:41,489
Things got a little heated back there, huh?
223
00:10:41,561 --> 00:10:43,278
I don't want to talk about it.
224
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:46,147
You got to tell me what's
going on with you and this case.
225
00:10:46,149 --> 00:10:48,232
You know we never solve it till you do.
226
00:10:49,986 --> 00:10:51,786
[Sighs]
227
00:10:51,788 --> 00:10:55,657
I was a young art student living in Paris.
228
00:10:55,659 --> 00:10:57,825
- I was living in the French quarter.
- [Parisian music plays]
229
00:10:57,827 --> 00:11:00,328
I was just getting out of a relationship.
230
00:11:08,338 --> 00:11:11,139
That was the worst first date I ever had.
231
00:11:12,559 --> 00:11:15,176
I needed someone who wanted
the things that I wanted.
232
00:11:16,513 --> 00:11:21,015
And that was Carpaccio MacGuffin.
233
00:11:21,817 --> 00:11:26,154
It was exciting, exhilarating.
234
00:11:27,357 --> 00:11:31,526
We did things I never dreamed of.
235
00:11:31,528 --> 00:11:37,615
He was loving, considerate, thoughtful...
236
00:11:37,617 --> 00:11:39,834
sensuous.
237
00:11:41,087 --> 00:11:43,838
I knew I had to get out of there.
238
00:11:46,710 --> 00:11:50,178
I loved him, but I knew I couldn't stay
239
00:11:50,180 --> 00:11:54,215
because that's what I do... I leave.
240
00:12:12,402 --> 00:12:15,203
So that was the
inspiration for the "Thumb."
241
00:12:15,205 --> 00:12:16,821
Amazing.
242
00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:18,706
You think maybe you leave
people before they leave you?
243
00:12:18,708 --> 00:12:20,742
[Mockingly] You think
maybe you leave people
244
00:12:20,744 --> 00:12:21,715
before they leave you?
245
00:12:21,815 --> 00:12:23,364
All right, fine. Forget it.
246
00:12:23,366 --> 00:12:25,033
Let's just put Randy away.
247
00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,150
It's up here on the right,
248
00:12:26,152 --> 00:12:27,702
where it says "Police Precinct."
249
00:12:27,704 --> 00:12:29,954
Okay, I got it.
250
00:12:32,876 --> 00:12:34,209
Turn to the right.
251
00:12:35,745 --> 00:12:36,745
[Camera shutter clicks]
252
00:12:36,746 --> 00:12:38,580
Turn to the left.
253
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:41,416
[Camera shutter clicks]
254
00:12:41,418 --> 00:12:44,002
All right. Let's bring in the whole family.
255
00:12:44,004 --> 00:12:45,420
Come on in. Come on in, Betts.
256
00:12:45,422 --> 00:12:47,922
Okay, y'all ready? At the
count of three, "Cheese."
257
00:12:47,924 --> 00:12:50,592
- One, two, three! "Cheese!"
- [Camera shutter clicks]
258
00:12:51,940 --> 00:12:53,271
You wanted to see us, Doctor?
259
00:12:53,371 --> 00:12:56,038
Ah, good evening, Detectives!
260
00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,540
I took a look at that
painting you recovered
261
00:12:57,542 --> 00:12:59,425
from Randy Zaius' apartment.
262
00:12:59,426 --> 00:13:01,209
A genuine MacGuffin, eh?
263
00:13:01,212 --> 00:13:02,461
[Laughing]
264
00:13:08,219 --> 00:13:09,886
We don't know why you're laughing, sir.
265
00:13:09,888 --> 00:13:11,771
No. Of course. How could you?
266
00:13:11,773 --> 00:13:13,578
You're not inside my head.
Now, let me show you something.
267
00:13:13,578 --> 00:13:16,914
Now, here we have Leonardo
Da Vinci's "Mona Lisa,"
268
00:13:17,118 --> 00:13:20,319
which we had FedExed in from
the Louvre Museum in Paris.
269
00:13:20,321 --> 00:13:23,823
And here... [Grunts]
270
00:13:23,825 --> 00:13:28,911
Here we have a cheap forgery on
loan from a cheap forgery store.
271
00:13:28,913 --> 00:13:30,546
Or is it?
272
00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,665
Could this be the real "Mona Lisa"
273
00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:34,583
and could this be the forgery?
274
00:13:34,585 --> 00:13:36,585
Real, forge. Forge, real.
275
00:13:36,587 --> 00:13:38,471
Follow the bouncing ball. Which is it?
276
00:13:38,473 --> 00:13:41,640
- I can tell them apart.
- Oh, really, Detective?
277
00:13:41,642 --> 00:13:43,642
Then why don't you pull out your big gun
278
00:13:43,644 --> 00:13:45,678
and shoot the forgery?
279
00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:47,763
Great.
280
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,599
Wrong, Detective.
281
00:13:50,601 --> 00:13:52,601
You've just shot the real "Mona Lisa"
282
00:13:52,603 --> 00:13:55,104
and the lab technician standing behind it.
283
00:13:55,106 --> 00:13:56,572
[Grunts]
284
00:13:56,574 --> 00:13:58,941
You tricked me. I'm not paying for that.
285
00:13:58,943 --> 00:14:00,442
They're both forgeries.
286
00:14:00,444 --> 00:14:03,362
Exactly, Tribeca. They are both forgeries.
287
00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:06,532
Look at the cheap canvas,
the amateur brushstrokes,
288
00:14:06,534 --> 00:14:08,701
the lack of contrast
between light and dark,
289
00:14:08,703 --> 00:14:11,086
the stickers that say "75 cents."
290
00:14:11,088 --> 00:14:13,589
Ah. [Chuckles] [Claps]
291
00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:15,958
At last, someone who
knows something about art.
292
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,261
What's the point of all this, Doctor?
293
00:14:17,361 --> 00:14:18,527
The point?
294
00:14:18,529 --> 00:14:19,861
The point?
295
00:14:19,863 --> 00:14:21,363
Ooh, I love an inquiring mind.
296
00:14:21,365 --> 00:14:23,448
Let's have another look at
your so-called MacGuffin,
297
00:14:23,450 --> 00:14:25,200
shall we?
298
00:14:28,512 --> 00:14:29,588
Oh, my god.
299
00:14:29,590 --> 00:14:30,705
How did I miss this?
300
00:14:30,707 --> 00:14:34,543
Yeah, how did you miss
this? It's so obvious.
301
00:14:34,545 --> 00:14:35,961
Why is it obvious?
302
00:14:35,963 --> 00:14:37,796
It's obvious that it's a forgery,
303
00:14:37,798 --> 00:14:39,181
although a brilliant one.
304
00:14:39,183 --> 00:14:40,932
The canvas is authentic to the period.
305
00:14:40,934 --> 00:14:42,184
The brushstrokes are exact.
306
00:14:42,186 --> 00:14:45,136
It's absolutely indistinguishable
from the original.
307
00:14:45,138 --> 00:14:46,638
Except for the fact
308
00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,523
that MacGuffin was crying
when he painted the "Thumb,"
309
00:14:48,525 --> 00:14:51,560
and the tears diluted the paint
in the bottom-right corner.
310
00:14:51,562 --> 00:14:54,279
Exactly. As you can see, no tears.
311
00:14:54,281 --> 00:14:57,816
So Randy forged the "Thumb," but why?
312
00:14:57,818 --> 00:15:00,535
313
00:15:05,475 --> 00:15:07,475
314
00:15:07,477 --> 00:15:10,045
[Chuckles]
315
00:15:10,047 --> 00:15:12,214
How's jail treating you, Randy?
316
00:15:12,216 --> 00:15:15,016
You literally brought me
in here five minutes ago.
317
00:15:15,018 --> 00:15:17,869
Yeah, time goes slow in
the joint, doesn't it?
318
00:15:17,871 --> 00:15:19,454
[Chuckles]
319
00:15:19,456 --> 00:15:22,791
The painting we got from
your apartment is a forgery,
320
00:15:22,793 --> 00:15:26,494
which begs the question...
where's the original?
321
00:15:26,496 --> 00:15:29,664
Look, I'll tell you
everything you need to know.
322
00:15:29,666 --> 00:15:32,050
But first, I want immunity.
323
00:15:32,052 --> 00:15:35,337
Immunity? That's what you want, huh?
324
00:15:35,339 --> 00:15:38,757
[Laughing]
325
00:15:39,883 --> 00:15:42,093
- You allergic to eggs?
- Uh, no.
326
00:15:42,095 --> 00:15:43,478
- Okay.
- Go ahead.
327
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,981
- Ow.
- [Exhales sharply]
328
00:15:45,983 --> 00:15:47,349
That wasn't so bad.
329
00:15:47,351 --> 00:15:50,018
- Now, where's the "Thumb"?
- My brother has it.
330
00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:52,187
He steals the art, and then I forge it.
331
00:15:52,189 --> 00:15:54,189
He returns the forgeries
back to the art gallery,
332
00:15:54,291 --> 00:15:56,358
and the police drop the whole thing.
333
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,860
He ends up with a
multimillion-dollar art collection.
334
00:15:58,862 --> 00:16:00,528
Why roll on him now?
335
00:16:00,530 --> 00:16:03,915
[Voice breaking] Because he's a total...
336
00:16:03,917 --> 00:16:05,500
Dick! [Cries]
337
00:16:05,572 --> 00:16:07,939
You don't have to deal with him no more,
338
00:16:07,942 --> 00:16:11,494
'cause we are about to take Dr. Zaius down.
339
00:16:11,495 --> 00:16:13,028
[Gasps]
340
00:16:13,030 --> 00:16:14,829
Now, you're free to go.
341
00:16:14,831 --> 00:16:17,949
[Grunts] Can someone un-cuff me?
342
00:16:17,951 --> 00:16:19,918
You're not cuffed.
343
00:16:21,621 --> 00:16:24,456
Oh. Great. Thanks.
344
00:16:24,458 --> 00:16:26,124
You can validate your
parking on the way out.
345
00:16:26,126 --> 00:16:29,377
- Thanks, man.
- Yeah. No problem.
346
00:16:32,934 --> 00:16:34,934
- Don't move, Dr. Zaius!
- [Thud]
347
00:16:34,935 --> 00:16:37,135
You idiot! Do you see what you've done?!
348
00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:39,137
That was a priceless Moravian vase.
349
00:16:39,139 --> 00:16:41,139
It will take you a lifetime to pay...
350
00:16:41,141 --> 00:16:43,692
It seems to be fine. How can I help you?
351
00:16:43,694 --> 00:16:46,111
You're under arrest for
stealing MacGuffin's "Thumb"
352
00:16:46,113 --> 00:16:47,812
from the Olsen-Medavoy Gallery.
353
00:16:47,814 --> 00:16:49,114
Your brother ratted you out.
354
00:16:49,116 --> 00:16:51,399
Don't be ridiculous. I
haven't stolen anything.
355
00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:54,452
Then how do you explain this?
356
00:16:54,454 --> 00:16:56,654
I have no idea how that got there.
357
00:16:56,656 --> 00:16:58,156
I'm being framed!
358
00:16:58,158 --> 00:17:00,325
Officer, take him away.
359
00:17:00,327 --> 00:17:03,745
360
00:17:03,747 --> 00:17:05,163
We did it.
361
00:17:05,165 --> 00:17:07,716
Now let's get this thing back to a museum,
362
00:17:07,718 --> 00:17:09,501
where it belongs.
363
00:17:09,503 --> 00:17:11,336
Everyone freeze!
364
00:17:12,005 --> 00:17:14,089
You're out. Go sit down.
365
00:17:15,008 --> 00:17:18,343
Un-freeze.
366
00:17:18,345 --> 00:17:21,846
No tears. This one's a forgery, too.
367
00:17:21,848 --> 00:17:23,264
Damn it.
368
00:17:23,267 --> 00:17:25,434
But Randy said that Zaius had the original.
369
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:27,652
What, did he pull some kind of switcheroo?
370
00:17:27,654 --> 00:17:29,437
[Both gasp]
371
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:32,690
- Switcheroo!
- Switcheroo!
372
00:17:32,692 --> 00:17:34,692
373
00:17:35,195 --> 00:17:39,415
Randy Zaius, L.A.P.D.! Open the door!
374
00:17:39,416 --> 00:17:40,448
Take it down.
375
00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:46,454
Go! Go! Go!
376
00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:49,040
- Man: Go! Go!
- Man 2: Keep it moving! Let's go!
377
00:17:50,343 --> 00:17:53,128
Come on! Let's go! Go, go, go!
378
00:18:06,893 --> 00:18:08,226
[Static]
379
00:18:08,228 --> 00:18:10,445
It's Tanner. He isn't here.
380
00:18:10,447 --> 00:18:12,230
[Randy sneezes]
381
00:18:12,983 --> 00:18:14,649
[Screams]
382
00:18:14,651 --> 00:18:17,202
- Get him!
- [Indistinct shouting]
383
00:18:17,204 --> 00:18:19,487
[Punches landing]
384
00:18:26,580 --> 00:18:28,963
You know, my first
apartment out of the academy
385
00:18:28,965 --> 00:18:30,915
was way smaller than this one.
386
00:18:30,917 --> 00:18:32,217
You don't say?
387
00:18:32,219 --> 00:18:34,886
10 guys crammed into a 24-story walk-up.
388
00:18:34,888 --> 00:18:37,422
And you know what the
biggest pain in the butt was?
389
00:18:37,424 --> 00:18:38,673
[Screaming]
390
00:18:38,675 --> 00:18:41,593
Ohh!
391
00:18:41,595 --> 00:18:43,928
Opening the damn fridge.
392
00:18:43,930 --> 00:18:45,430
393
00:18:54,825 --> 00:19:00,078
It's Tanner. "Thumb's" up.
394
00:19:01,198 --> 00:19:02,530
All right.
395
00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:04,782
Looks like the "Thumb's"
back up at the gallery.
396
00:19:04,784 --> 00:19:06,284
All right.
397
00:19:06,286 --> 00:19:08,119
I got to say you were
pretty terrific back there.
398
00:19:08,121 --> 00:19:09,454
You weren't bad yourself.
399
00:19:09,456 --> 00:19:11,589
I feel like we're really
finding our groove.
400
00:19:11,591 --> 00:19:12,624
Mm-hmm.
401
00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:15,318
My mom was right.
402
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,854
When you meet the right
partner, you just know.
403
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,824
- Mm-hmm.
- In fact, you should meet my mom.
404
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,076
- I've already told her so much about you.
- Hmm.
405
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,646
Is it weird we don't have
more pictures together?
406
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:25,045
I got to get out of here.
407
00:19:27,394 --> 00:19:31,360
I'm not gonna let you run away from
a good thing this time, Angie Tribeca.
408
00:19:31,363 --> 00:19:33,396
[Sighs]
409
00:19:34,866 --> 00:19:36,399
I got to go take a poop.
410
00:19:36,401 --> 00:19:41,321
411
00:19:44,752 --> 00:19:48,845
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- www.addic7ed.com -
412
00:19:48,895 --> 00:19:53,445
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