Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,517 --> 00:00:03,218
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
2
00:00:03,453 --> 00:00:06,400
[Elevator bell dings]
3
00:00:06,402 --> 00:00:09,603
[Indistinct conversations]
4
00:00:09,605 --> 00:00:12,573
- Sir, what's with all the hubbub?
- Smith, why are you wearing
5
00:00:12,574 --> 00:00:15,609
the same basic bitch tie
you wear every day?
6
00:00:15,611 --> 00:00:18,279
Now I'm gonna have to cut you
from the fashion show.
7
00:00:18,281 --> 00:00:19,713
What fashion show?
8
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:22,216
The one we have every year
after Father's Day.
9
00:00:22,218 --> 00:00:25,586
This year's theme ... "flex,
flaunt, shimmy, and shake,
10
00:00:25,588 --> 00:00:27,221
all the way down
to the Langley Lake.
11
00:00:27,223 --> 00:00:29,757
Y-You know, I didn't actually
think of a theme.
12
00:00:29,759 --> 00:00:31,373
[Upbeat R&B music plays]
Here comes Duper
13
00:00:31,374 --> 00:00:33,794
in what's sure to be the
dad look of summer ...
14
00:00:33,796 --> 00:00:38,032
a big dog T-shirt, jorts,
and a socks/Crocs combo!
15
00:00:38,034 --> 00:00:40,000
[All cheering]
16
00:00:40,002 --> 00:00:43,604
But ... But that would mean
yesterday was Father's Day.
17
00:00:43,606 --> 00:00:44,872
This is impossible!
18
00:00:44,874 --> 00:00:47,842
My family forgot to celebrate... me.
19
00:00:47,844 --> 00:00:50,644
Well, here's something
no one will ever forget.
20
00:00:50,646 --> 00:00:53,914
Cream, I need it 'cause
you know that I'm a fiend
21
00:00:53,916 --> 00:00:56,016
Gettin' freaky
in my Bentley limousine
22
00:00:56,018 --> 00:00:58,519
It's even better
when it's with ice cream
23
00:00:58,521 --> 00:01:01,021
Know what I mean?
Peaches and cream
24
00:01:01,023 --> 00:01:03,157
I need it 'cause you know
that I'm a fiend
25
00:01:03,159 --> 00:01:05,659
- Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
- # Gettin' freaky in my Bentley limousine #
26
00:01:05,661 --> 00:01:07,561
It's even better
when it's with ice cream
27
00:01:07,563 --> 00:01:09,396
- All right!
- # Know what I mean? Peaches and cream #
28
00:01:09,398 --> 00:01:13,000
One day, the world's gonna see
Dick's got just as much to offer
29
00:01:13,002 --> 00:01:16,070
on the inside
as he does on the backside.
30
00:01:16,072 --> 00:01:17,471
Yeah!
31
00:01:17,472 --> 00:01:19,443
[title music]
32
00:01:19,842 --> 00:01:22,343
Good morning, U.S.A.
33
00:01:22,345 --> 00:01:26,213
I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day
34
00:01:26,215 --> 00:01:29,316
The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
35
00:01:29,318 --> 00:01:34,021
And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race
36
00:01:35,691 --> 00:01:39,059
Oh, boy, it's swell to say
37
00:01:39,061 --> 00:01:42,863
- # Good ... #
- # Good morning, U.S.A. # Aah!
38
00:01:44,133 --> 00:01:47,401
Good morning, U.S.A.
39
00:01:47,523 --> 00:01:49,857
[Crickets chirping]
40
00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:52,660
So then I told him that I hadn't
talked to my brother in years
41
00:01:52,662 --> 00:01:56,130
but my relationship with my dry
cleaner has never been stronger.
42
00:01:56,132 --> 00:01:58,732
[Laughter]
43
00:01:58,734 --> 00:02:03,070
Oh, my ...
Home runs today, Roger!
44
00:02:03,072 --> 00:02:05,472
Dad, did you hear Roger's story?
45
00:02:05,474 --> 00:02:08,042
Yeah, it was... kind of funny.
46
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:12,746
O... kay.
So, um, how was work?
47
00:02:12,748 --> 00:02:15,716
Oh! Did they figure out
if those twin agents you hate
48
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,351
died in that botched mission?
49
00:02:17,353 --> 00:02:20,287
No. Rich and Mitch
are still just missing.
50
00:02:20,289 --> 00:02:21,889
Dad, what's going on?
51
00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:23,857
- You forgot Father's Day!
- What?!
52
00:02:23,859 --> 00:02:26,126
Bullock banished me
to the "lame dad room."
53
00:02:26,128 --> 00:02:27,828
Do you know where that is?
54
00:02:27,830 --> 00:02:30,431
It's the old haunted bathroom
that nobody uses anymore
55
00:02:30,433 --> 00:02:33,367
because ghosts are coming out
of the goddamn toilet
56
00:02:33,369 --> 00:02:35,869
- and going up butts!
- Father, I've failed you!
57
00:02:35,871 --> 00:02:37,938
- I'm so sorry!
- Oh, my God.
58
00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:39,673
I've been so obsessed
with corduroy,
59
00:02:39,675 --> 00:02:41,675
my whole weekend
just slipped away.
60
00:02:41,677 --> 00:02:45,746
Hey. What if we pretend
tomorrow is Father's Day?
61
00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:48,166
- I don't know.
- Come on! You name it.
62
00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:50,150
We'll give you your perfect day.
63
00:02:50,152 --> 00:02:52,152
Huh. I guess that could work.
64
00:02:52,154 --> 00:02:54,021
["The Hustle" ringtone plays]
65
00:02:54,023 --> 00:02:55,122
[Cellphone beeps]
Smith.
66
00:02:55,124 --> 00:02:56,657
Well, that's unfortunate.
67
00:02:56,659 --> 00:02:58,125
Thanks for calling.
[Cellphone beeps]
68
00:02:58,127 --> 00:02:59,426
This day is...
69
00:02:59,428 --> 00:03:02,096
turning around!
The twins are dead!
70
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,831
Rich and Mitch
were found in a ditch
71
00:03:03,833 --> 00:03:05,566
Doo-da, doo-da
72
00:03:05,568 --> 00:03:09,103
Sorry, Mrs. Jankovich,
your stupid sons are dead
73
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:11,839
- Mm!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
74
00:03:14,723 --> 00:03:16,256
[Crickets chirping]
75
00:03:16,258 --> 00:03:17,991
Good morning!
76
00:03:17,993 --> 00:03:21,194
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.
77
00:03:21,196 --> 00:03:28,234
That's 363 days, or 8,712 hours
or 522,720 minutes
78
00:03:28,236 --> 00:03:29,869
until the next Father's Day ...
79
00:03:29,871 --> 00:03:31,805
and 22 seconds until I take the pills
80
00:03:31,807 --> 00:03:33,707
that aren't helping
my crippling OCD.
81
00:03:33,709 --> 00:03:35,075
OCD, OCD, OCD.
82
00:03:35,077 --> 00:03:37,711
Now here's an oldie but a groovy!
83
00:03:37,713 --> 00:03:39,212
I'm the Scatman
84
00:03:39,214 --> 00:03:41,848
"For my meal, I would like
a Thanksgiving dinner."
85
00:03:41,850 --> 00:03:45,051
"For my entertainment ...
anything." Yes!
86
00:03:45,053 --> 00:03:47,554
"For my present ...
a homemade birdhouse.
87
00:03:47,556 --> 00:03:50,557
Thinkin' about becoming a bird guy."
88
00:03:50,559 --> 00:03:52,292
[Tapping]
89
00:03:52,294 --> 00:03:56,262
Happy Father's Day!
Birdhouse is coming along great.
90
00:03:56,264 --> 00:04:00,033
'Course, the city inspector's
riding me about zoning laws,
91
00:04:00,035 --> 00:04:03,303
and my electrician's putting me
through the whole rigmarole.
92
00:04:03,305 --> 00:04:04,839
Steve, you've made peace with
93
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,674
- never being with a woman, right?
- Uh, yeah.
94
00:04:07,676 --> 00:04:09,843
[Mid-tempo music plays]
Hey, Dad.
95
00:04:09,845 --> 00:04:12,779
Just trying to find lyrics
to rhyme with "My pops is tops."
96
00:04:12,781 --> 00:04:16,483
Well, I admire a good karate chop.
Find something there.
97
00:04:17,152 --> 00:04:20,920
Thanks for giving us
a second chance, honey.
98
00:04:20,922 --> 00:04:21,921
Mwah!
99
00:04:22,891 --> 00:04:25,725
Leave it.
It's your day.
100
00:04:28,096 --> 00:04:30,263
A groundbreaking
open-concept birdhouse.
101
00:04:30,265 --> 00:04:33,400
You can see everything
from the stove.
102
00:04:33,402 --> 00:04:36,269
Not bad, son.
I'd say this house is...
103
00:04:36,271 --> 00:04:38,905
for the birds.
[laughs]
104
00:04:38,907 --> 00:04:42,609
We've got turkey, stuffing,
mashed potatoes.
105
00:04:42,611 --> 00:04:44,944
Mmm! You know
exactly what I want.
106
00:04:44,946 --> 00:04:47,247
But you don't seem
to know that I want it
107
00:04:47,248 --> 00:04:49,549
from Boston Market.
Still, looks great.
108
00:04:49,551 --> 00:04:51,084
[Mid-tempo music plays]
109
00:04:51,086 --> 00:04:53,753
You're the corduroy of dads
110
00:04:53,755 --> 00:04:55,889
The best one I've ever had
111
00:04:55,891 --> 00:04:58,057
I wrote this song for you, Daddy
112
00:04:58,059 --> 00:05:03,363
I wrote this song
for you-o-o-o-o-o-o
113
00:05:03,365 --> 00:05:06,466
Ye-a-a-a-h
114
00:05:06,468 --> 00:05:09,135
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah
115
00:05:09,137 --> 00:05:12,205
Good job, honey! Kind of
reminds me of early Dylan ...
116
00:05:12,207 --> 00:05:13,306
like, really early,
117
00:05:13,308 --> 00:05:15,241
before he learned
how to play the guitar.
118
00:05:15,243 --> 00:05:16,276
But I loved it.
119
00:05:17,712 --> 00:05:19,312
["Rockford Files" theme plays]
120
00:05:19,314 --> 00:05:22,148
What a great day, Stan.
For you, not me.
121
00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:24,584
That guy on the bus
got in my face again,
122
00:05:24,586 --> 00:05:27,187
- and I just finally lost it ...
- Yeah, it was a nice day.
123
00:05:27,189 --> 00:05:29,422
Guess the family proved
they really do care.
124
00:05:29,424 --> 00:05:31,524
Are you... kidding me?!
125
00:05:31,526 --> 00:05:34,461
They forgot Father's Day!
And they covered for it
126
00:05:34,463 --> 00:05:36,963
with a B-minus celebration
on a Tuesday?
127
00:05:36,965 --> 00:05:38,932
"Oh, hey,
sorry for feeding you dogshit.
128
00:05:38,934 --> 00:05:41,534
Allow us to wash it down
with some RC Cola."
129
00:05:41,536 --> 00:05:43,269
Roger! Why do you
always have to be
130
00:05:43,271 --> 00:05:44,971
the little devil
on people's shoulder?
131
00:05:44,973 --> 00:05:46,140
W-W-Whoa.
Hang on, Klaus.
132
00:05:46,141 --> 00:05:48,675
Roger may have a point.
Stan?
133
00:05:48,677 --> 00:05:50,143
Well, I... guess
it could have been better.
134
00:05:50,145 --> 00:05:52,745
Little devil?
More like Little Debbie.
135
00:05:52,747 --> 00:05:56,149
'Cause I give
some sweeeeet advice!
136
00:05:56,151 --> 00:05:57,750
Good morning!
137
00:05:57,752 --> 00:06:01,154
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.
138
00:06:01,156 --> 00:06:07,861
That's 363 days, or 8,712 hours
or 522,720 minutes
139
00:06:07,863 --> 00:06:09,529
until the next
Father's Day ...
140
00:06:09,531 --> 00:06:11,898
[Muffled] and 22 seconds
until I take the pills...
141
00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:14,534
"For my present ...
a homemade birdhouse.
142
00:06:14,536 --> 00:06:17,036
Please ... not open-concept."
143
00:06:17,038 --> 00:06:19,839
[Tapping]
144
00:06:19,841 --> 00:06:21,808
Happy Father's Day!
145
00:06:21,810 --> 00:06:24,344
[Mid-tempo music plays]
146
00:06:26,248 --> 00:06:29,649
Just getting ready
to "lei" this pig down
147
00:06:29,651 --> 00:06:31,217
for your luau dinner.
148
00:06:31,219 --> 00:06:33,987
[holla]
So "hula" at your girl!
149
00:06:35,390 --> 00:06:38,258
- Leave it. It's ...
- It's my day.
150
00:06:41,196 --> 00:06:44,764
Uh, why is everyone acting
like it's yesterday?
151
00:06:44,766 --> 00:06:46,132
Because I erased their memories
152
00:06:46,134 --> 00:06:48,234
so they could relive
the previous day,
153
00:06:48,236 --> 00:06:50,803
giving them another shot
at a decent Father's Day.
154
00:06:50,805 --> 00:06:53,506
You're "Groundhog Day'ing"
the fam?!
155
00:06:53,508 --> 00:06:55,842
Wait. Why didn't you erase
my memory?
156
00:06:55,844 --> 00:06:58,611
Come on, bud.
You're not even on my radar.
157
00:07:03,570 --> 00:07:05,203
So, the family has no idea
158
00:07:05,205 --> 00:07:07,138
they're reliving
yesterday's Father's Day?
159
00:07:07,140 --> 00:07:09,341
Nope. Their minds
have been whipped clean.
160
00:07:09,343 --> 00:07:11,876
Wh-Whipped clean.
Whipped ... Whipped clea...
161
00:07:11,878 --> 00:07:13,244
Why ... Why can't I say this?
162
00:07:13,246 --> 00:07:15,547
I got it. Their minds
have been whipped cream.
163
00:07:15,549 --> 00:07:16,948
I feel like we're building
to the point
164
00:07:16,950 --> 00:07:18,550
where you tell us
how you did this.
165
00:07:18,552 --> 00:07:19,985
- Are we?
- We are.
166
00:07:19,987 --> 00:07:21,353
[Twinkle!]
The C.I.A. was having ...
167
00:07:21,355 --> 00:07:23,421
Wait, wait.
Stan, how long is this story?
168
00:07:23,423 --> 00:07:25,757
'Cause I just want to know ...
do I sit, do I stand?
169
00:07:25,759 --> 00:07:27,025
Medium-long?
170
00:07:27,027 --> 00:07:29,160
Uh, lean. Yeah, I'll lean.
Continue.
171
00:07:29,162 --> 00:07:30,428
[Twinkle!]
The C.I.A. was ...
172
00:07:30,430 --> 00:07:31,763
No, gonna sit.
Gonna sit.
173
00:07:31,765 --> 00:07:33,565
You seemed real unsure
about your answer.
174
00:07:33,567 --> 00:07:35,133
Well, don't let me interrupt you.
175
00:07:35,135 --> 00:07:36,768
[Twinkle!] The C.I.A.
was having a yard sale.
176
00:07:36,770 --> 00:07:39,671
Just gonna lie down
to play it safe.
177
00:07:39,673 --> 00:07:41,306
The C.I.A. had to have
a yard sale
178
00:07:41,308 --> 00:07:43,708
for the same reason
anyone has a yard sale ...
179
00:07:43,710 --> 00:07:46,444
to make an ass-load of money.
180
00:07:46,446 --> 00:07:47,679
[Cellphone chimes]
181
00:07:47,681 --> 00:07:50,048
"Got my dream part
in the school play."
182
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:52,650
Signed, "The sweetest boy in Oz."
183
00:07:52,652 --> 00:07:54,019
[Sighs]
184
00:07:54,021 --> 00:07:56,087
This is not how I want
to remember my son.
185
00:07:56,089 --> 00:07:57,922
You don't have to.
Just use this.
186
00:07:57,924 --> 00:08:01,199
It's a memory neutralizer.
Flashes a light that wipes
187
00:08:01,234 --> 00:08:03,194
the last 24 hours
from your memory.
188
00:08:03,196 --> 00:08:06,164
I use it on myself every time
I watch "The Nutty Professor."
189
00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:08,733
That way, I get as hard
as I did the first time.
190
00:08:08,735 --> 00:08:10,335
[Twinkle!]
191
00:08:10,337 --> 00:08:13,605
So, after an okay
but not perfect Father's Day,
192
00:08:13,607 --> 00:08:15,607
I decided to use it on the family.
193
00:08:15,609 --> 00:08:18,376
- Wait. What happened to Roger?
- He went on a vape run, bro.
194
00:08:18,378 --> 00:08:21,346
The house was dangerously low
on Vanilla Vacation.
195
00:08:21,348 --> 00:08:24,449
But, Stan, what you're doing
feels very unfair to the family.
196
00:08:24,451 --> 00:08:26,885
What's unfair is
they forgot Father's Day.
197
00:08:26,887 --> 00:08:28,720
This whole thing is
supposed to be a makeup,
198
00:08:28,722 --> 00:08:31,156
and they haven't quite made up.
199
00:08:31,158 --> 00:08:33,158
But I just know
they're gonna nail it today.
200
00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:34,692
Almost done with the birdhouse.
201
00:08:34,694 --> 00:08:38,763
Hey, the skylight you wanted ...
it can be just painted on, right?
202
00:08:38,765 --> 00:08:40,498
Good morning!
203
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:43,401
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.
204
00:08:43,403 --> 00:08:46,071
[Mid-tempo music plays]
205
00:08:51,978 --> 00:08:54,012
There's nothing that I wanna do
206
00:08:54,014 --> 00:08:55,513
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days...
207
00:08:55,515 --> 00:08:57,882
More than get alone
and be alone with you
208
00:08:57,884 --> 00:08:59,350
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya...
209
00:08:59,352 --> 00:09:03,254
Trouble with dreams
is they don't come true
210
00:09:03,256 --> 00:09:06,424
And when they do,
they could catch up to you
211
00:09:06,426 --> 00:09:07,759
Good morning!
212
00:09:07,761 --> 00:09:11,496
You don't need a thing
from me, but I
213
00:09:11,498 --> 00:09:14,132
I need something big from you
214
00:09:14,134 --> 00:09:16,501
'Cause you know I've got
215
00:09:16,503 --> 00:09:21,423
- # An awful lot of big dreams #
- [Repeating] Good morning!
216
00:09:25,712 --> 00:09:27,312
[Laughs]
217
00:09:27,314 --> 00:09:30,515
I'm walkin' down a lonely road
218
00:09:30,517 --> 00:09:32,617
Clear to me now, but I
was never told
[Laughter]
219
00:09:32,619 --> 00:09:34,752
OCD, OCD, OCD. Now...
220
00:09:34,754 --> 00:09:38,523
Trouble with dreams
is you never know
221
00:09:38,525 --> 00:09:42,827
When to hold on
and when to let go
222
00:09:42,829 --> 00:09:46,698
- # If you let me down, it's all right #
- ... here's an oldie but groovy.
223
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:49,734
- # At least that leaves something for me #
- [Repeating] ... but groovy...
224
00:09:49,736 --> 00:09:52,170
[Heavy metal guitar plays]
225
00:09:54,941 --> 00:09:57,108
Snot: Steve!
Where have you been?
226
00:09:57,110 --> 00:09:59,277
You've missed five weeks of school!
227
00:09:59,279 --> 00:10:03,314
I don't know what's going on
here, Mr. Smith, but I'm gonna ...
228
00:10:03,316 --> 00:10:06,284
- Why am I...
- Once more.
229
00:10:06,286 --> 00:10:10,321
Again.
And two more for good luck.
230
00:10:10,323 --> 00:10:11,723
And one for your mother.
231
00:10:11,725 --> 00:10:14,292
[Babbling]
232
00:10:15,795 --> 00:10:17,362
[Crickets chirping]
233
00:10:17,364 --> 00:10:19,964
- We need to talk, bro.
- Not now, Klaus.
234
00:10:19,966 --> 00:10:21,199
I have to top off the Pert Plus
235
00:10:21,201 --> 00:10:22,667
and reset all the radio recordings
236
00:10:22,669 --> 00:10:24,702
so they have a chance
to make tomorrow perfect.
237
00:10:24,704 --> 00:10:26,535
- Dude, you've lost it.
- Tomorrow.
238
00:10:26,570 --> 00:10:30,575
I'm sure tomorrow will
be the perfect Father's Day.
239
00:10:30,577 --> 00:10:32,043
[Cheers and applause]
240
00:10:32,045 --> 00:10:35,613
It is my privilege
to welcome our nominee
241
00:10:35,615 --> 00:10:38,550
for president of the United States ...
242
00:10:38,552 --> 00:10:40,652
Senator Vincent Thacker!
243
00:10:40,654 --> 00:10:42,887
[Cheers and applause]
244
00:10:42,889 --> 00:10:45,690
Thank you. And with the help
of my running mate,
245
00:10:45,692 --> 00:10:50,862
Senator Bill Sturges, we can
get this country back on track.
246
00:10:50,864 --> 00:10:53,431
[Cheers and applause]
247
00:10:59,839 --> 00:11:01,439
Just got off the phone
with The Post.
248
00:11:01,441 --> 00:11:03,208
Tomorrow,
they're running an expos?.
249
00:11:03,210 --> 00:11:06,144
Some back-alley deal
you cut with Tetradual?
250
00:11:06,913 --> 00:11:09,914
Are you hearing me?!
It's over!
251
00:11:10,850 --> 00:11:14,452
[Suspenseful chord plays]
What... What is that?
252
00:11:16,122 --> 00:11:17,722
Mine!
[Suspenseful music plays]
253
00:11:17,724 --> 00:11:19,457
[Both grunting]
254
00:11:21,328 --> 00:11:22,193
Oh!
255
00:11:22,195 --> 00:11:24,262
[Ominous music plays]
256
00:11:26,566 --> 00:11:28,833
Now it's mine.
257
00:11:31,471 --> 00:11:33,137
[Screams]
258
00:11:35,408 --> 00:11:38,076
[Groans softly]
[Gunshot]
259
00:11:39,246 --> 00:11:41,479
[Vacuum cleaner whirring]
260
00:11:43,817 --> 00:11:45,917
[Whirring stops]
261
00:11:51,558 --> 00:11:54,058
[Ominous music plays]
262
00:11:56,029 --> 00:11:58,563
[Birds chirping]
263
00:12:08,375 --> 00:12:10,575
What is it, my child?
264
00:12:11,778 --> 00:12:13,444
[Gong rings]
265
00:12:19,786 --> 00:12:23,421
It has returned.
266
00:12:23,423 --> 00:12:29,294
To destroy it,
we must return it to its source.
267
00:12:32,165 --> 00:12:34,699
[Gong rings]
268
00:12:34,701 --> 00:12:36,267
[Switch clicks]
269
00:12:37,601 --> 00:12:39,334
Shh!
Come with me.
270
00:12:39,336 --> 00:12:40,568
There's no time.
271
00:12:40,570 --> 00:12:45,006
Damn, Steve! You wake up
camera-ready, lucky dog.
272
00:12:45,008 --> 00:12:47,775
Takes me hours to shake
that "just woke up" look.
273
00:12:47,777 --> 00:12:49,244
No time for what?
274
00:12:49,246 --> 00:12:52,013
And your morning voice
sounds clear as a sparrow!
275
00:12:52,015 --> 00:12:53,748
Me?
Forget about it!
276
00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:55,216
No phone calls before noon.
277
00:12:55,218 --> 00:12:57,685
Klaus, I have to get started
on my dad's present.
278
00:12:57,687 --> 00:12:59,354
Damn!
And no morning breath?
279
00:12:59,356 --> 00:13:01,389
Do you sleep
with mints in your mouth?
280
00:13:01,391 --> 00:13:04,926
Now, come on!
You're wasting valuable time!
281
00:13:06,897 --> 00:13:08,630
Where'd all this come from?
282
00:13:08,632 --> 00:13:12,133
Check the artist's signature.
283
00:13:13,036 --> 00:13:14,335
"Steve Smith"?
284
00:13:14,337 --> 00:13:16,171
I don't remember making this.
285
00:13:16,173 --> 00:13:19,908
But that's my heart-dotted "I"
and eyeballs on the S's
286
00:13:19,910 --> 00:13:21,943
to make them look like
scary snakes.
287
00:13:22,746 --> 00:13:24,145
Here it is again!
288
00:13:24,147 --> 00:13:26,047
Every night,
your dad resets your memory,
289
00:13:26,049 --> 00:13:27,882
so every morning,
you wake up thinking
290
00:13:27,884 --> 00:13:30,451
it's Father's Day again ... and again!
291
00:13:30,453 --> 00:13:34,222
Steve, you missed the story
of the boy in the volcano.
292
00:13:34,224 --> 00:13:36,457
It riveted the nation for months!
293
00:13:36,459 --> 00:13:40,872
In the end, it turned out to be
just a goat in a Starter jacket.
294
00:13:40,897 --> 00:13:43,331
Dad's not gonna get away
with this.
295
00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:44,365
Yeah! Dad's lost it.
296
00:13:44,367 --> 00:13:45,934
Klaus, he's not your dad.
297
00:13:45,936 --> 00:13:47,802
Well, well, well.
298
00:13:47,804 --> 00:13:49,370
- Dad!
- No.
299
00:13:49,372 --> 00:13:51,506
Looks like you got it all figured out.
300
00:13:51,508 --> 00:13:54,008
W-W-Why are you
doing this to us?
301
00:13:54,010 --> 00:13:56,377
W-W-W-W-W-W-W-Why?
Why? Why? Why?
302
00:13:56,379 --> 00:13:59,080
Because you guys can't give me
one decent day,
303
00:13:59,082 --> 00:14:00,915
no matter how many chances
I give you!
304
00:14:00,917 --> 00:14:03,451
Chances? What are you
talking about?
305
00:14:03,453 --> 00:14:05,153
Good morning!
Rockin' Ronnie...
306
00:14:05,155 --> 00:14:07,322
Dad's been tricking us
into reliving Father's Day
307
00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:09,390
every day for six months!
308
00:14:09,392 --> 00:14:10,391
[Both gasp]
309
00:14:10,393 --> 00:14:11,926
You brainwashed us?!
310
00:14:11,928 --> 00:14:13,595
Oh, of course!
Make it about you!
311
00:14:13,597 --> 00:14:15,230
Well, since you won't
remember this anyway,
312
00:14:15,232 --> 00:14:17,750
I'll get everything out
of my system so I can
313
00:14:17,751 --> 00:14:20,268
wake up tomorrow without
being so cheesed off!
314
00:14:20,270 --> 00:14:21,436
Go ahead, Steve ...
cry!
315
00:14:21,438 --> 00:14:23,037
It'd be weirder if you didn't!
316
00:14:23,039 --> 00:14:24,872
[Gasps]
Go ahead, Hayley ... gasp.
317
00:14:24,874 --> 00:14:27,542
- It'd be weirder if you didn't!
- Stan, enough!
318
00:14:27,544 --> 00:14:29,510
Since when is anything
enough for you?
319
00:14:29,512 --> 00:14:31,980
For the last 20 years,
you just sit around
320
00:14:31,982 --> 00:14:33,781
and wait for me
to bring home money.
321
00:14:33,783 --> 00:14:36,017
"I need rugs.
I need bananas."
322
00:14:36,019 --> 00:14:39,387
Stan, stop before you say
something you'll regret.
323
00:14:39,389 --> 00:14:41,289
Oh, I haven't even started.
324
00:14:41,291 --> 00:14:42,657
I'm the Scatman
325
00:14:42,659 --> 00:14:45,951
[Scatting]
[Music]
326
00:14:49,132 --> 00:14:52,133
I'm the Scatman
[Scatting]
327
00:14:56,406 --> 00:14:59,240
[Scatting continues]
328
00:15:09,252 --> 00:15:10,551
[Click, music stops]
329
00:15:10,553 --> 00:15:12,920
You can stop feeling sorry
for yourselves,
330
00:15:12,922 --> 00:15:14,589
because this never happened.
331
00:15:14,591 --> 00:15:16,024
[Click]
332
00:15:16,026 --> 00:15:17,692
Starting... now.
[Click]
333
00:15:17,694 --> 00:15:19,127
Now!
[Click]
334
00:15:19,129 --> 00:15:21,362
Now, now, now, now, now, now,
now, now, now, now, now!
335
00:15:21,364 --> 00:15:22,563
Aw, Stan.
336
00:15:22,565 --> 00:15:24,399
When I was grabbing a snack
last night,
337
00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:28,236
I "accidentally" knocked
that thing off the counter
338
00:15:28,238 --> 00:15:31,339
'cause it wasn't on my... radar.
339
00:15:32,475 --> 00:15:34,542
I ...
Uh, uh...
340
00:15:34,544 --> 00:15:36,544
And I wasn't really
getting a snack.
341
00:15:36,546 --> 00:15:39,013
That mission was purely
to be a rascal.
342
00:15:39,015 --> 00:15:43,017
Although, I did reward myself
with a sleeve of saltines
343
00:15:43,019 --> 00:15:47,322
and four packs of Gushers.
Happy Father's Day.
344
00:15:52,391 --> 00:15:55,742
Hey, guys.
Uh, I know you didn't think
345
00:15:55,744 --> 00:15:57,878
my jokes earlier were very funny.
346
00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:01,114
Jokes?! What you said
was unforgivable!
347
00:16:01,116 --> 00:16:02,516
You can't dissect comedy!
348
00:16:02,518 --> 00:16:04,751
Anyway, I know you're feeling
a little down,
349
00:16:04,753 --> 00:16:07,621
so I made you one
of my famous apology cakes.
350
00:16:07,623 --> 00:16:09,923
Just pretend SpongeBob is me.
351
00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:13,193
And instead of having amazing
adventures under the sea,
352
00:16:13,195 --> 00:16:15,095
he's sorry
he insulted his family.
353
00:16:15,097 --> 00:16:18,131
You don't understand.
We're never getting past this.
354
00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:21,968
Okay. I knew there was a small
chance the cake wouldn't work.
355
00:16:21,970 --> 00:16:24,404
But maybe you'll find
this filling more persuasive.
356
00:16:24,406 --> 00:16:26,873
You're all coming with me
to the C.I.A.
357
00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:29,009
We have another memory eraser,
and I'm gonna use it
358
00:16:29,011 --> 00:16:31,344
to make you forget
all the things I said ...
359
00:16:31,346 --> 00:16:34,414
and the so-called "gun incident."
360
00:16:34,416 --> 00:16:36,016
There's another memory eraser?!
361
00:16:36,018 --> 00:16:38,952
That might be the only way
we can be a family again.
362
00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,954
I think you can
put down the gun, Dad.
363
00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:42,088
We all want to forget.
364
00:16:42,090 --> 00:16:43,690
Roger: Ow!
365
00:16:45,994 --> 00:16:49,262
Bad news ... We sold
the other memory neutralizer.
366
00:16:49,264 --> 00:16:50,363
No!
367
00:16:50,365 --> 00:16:51,898
Wait.
What's in the box, then?
368
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:53,467
Lil' Angelo!
369
00:16:54,536 --> 00:16:57,604
Oh, yeah, you missed
the C.I.A. mascot elections.
370
00:16:57,606 --> 00:17:00,524
Gretchen the Guinea Pig ran
a tight race, but I think
371
00:17:00,525 --> 00:17:03,443
we're still a ways off from
electing a female mascot.
372
00:17:03,445 --> 00:17:05,545
Dick, do you know who bought
the other neutralizer?
373
00:17:05,547 --> 00:17:07,280
Yeah. Got the receipt right here.
374
00:17:07,282 --> 00:17:10,617
- Some C.I.A. collector in Ohio.
- Ohio?!
375
00:17:10,619 --> 00:17:12,819
B-But we only have 24 hours
from when you said those things
376
00:17:12,821 --> 00:17:15,489
- to get there!
- Yeah, If we don't make it by morning,
377
00:17:15,491 --> 00:17:18,325
we're gonna remember
all the crap you said forever!
378
00:17:18,327 --> 00:17:19,960
All the jokes.
379
00:17:22,798 --> 00:17:25,899
Look, I know I hurt you guys,
but let me make it up to you.
380
00:17:25,901 --> 00:17:28,368
Just because this is a day
that you're all going to forget
381
00:17:28,370 --> 00:17:30,103
doesn't mean it can't be
a day to remember.
382
00:17:30,105 --> 00:17:31,338
And then forget.
383
00:17:31,340 --> 00:17:33,373
Can you just shut up
and focus on driving?
384
00:17:33,375 --> 00:17:34,875
Yep.
Driving's pretty cool.
385
00:17:34,877 --> 00:17:36,710
You, uh, want to give it
a try, son?
386
00:17:36,712 --> 00:17:38,478
- What?
- Yeah, you'll be driving soon.
387
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:39,913
Stan, leave him alone.
388
00:17:39,915 --> 00:17:42,315
What? I'm doing something
nice ... father/son.
389
00:17:42,317 --> 00:17:43,583
Here, take the wheel.
390
00:17:43,585 --> 00:17:45,085
[Engine revs]
Aah!
391
00:17:45,087 --> 00:17:46,786
[Tires screech]
392
00:17:46,788 --> 00:17:49,122
It's just like
one of your video games ...
393
00:17:49,124 --> 00:17:50,924
the ultimate video game.
394
00:17:50,926 --> 00:17:54,060
You only have one life ...
well, technically, four lives.
395
00:17:54,062 --> 00:17:56,846
Whoop! Guardrail.
[All screaming]
396
00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:01,101
Please tell me you can fix this.
397
00:18:01,103 --> 00:18:02,669
What makes you think
I can fix ...
398
00:18:02,671 --> 00:18:05,839
Oh. 'Cause of the tow truck
and the coveralls.
399
00:18:05,841 --> 00:18:09,376
No, no, no, I'm not a mechanic.
I'm just a strange man.
400
00:18:11,113 --> 00:18:13,013
[Animals calling]
401
00:18:14,216 --> 00:18:15,482
Guys, we got one!
402
00:18:15,484 --> 00:18:17,217
Everybody, thumbs out
and look sexy.
403
00:18:17,219 --> 00:18:19,486
We don't know who this is
or what they're into.
404
00:18:21,290 --> 00:18:23,690
[Tires screech]
405
00:18:23,692 --> 00:18:27,427
The mouse can never resist
the cheese.
406
00:18:28,263 --> 00:18:30,230
[Slurring]
Hey.
407
00:18:30,232 --> 00:18:33,934
- Hey. Hey.
- What?
408
00:18:33,936 --> 00:18:37,137
What's your record
for Tylenol PMs?
409
00:18:37,139 --> 00:18:40,440
- What do you mean?
- What's the most you've ever taken?
410
00:18:40,442 --> 00:18:42,175
I've done seven.
411
00:18:42,177 --> 00:18:44,644
Stan, I think it's your turn
to ride shotgun!
412
00:18:44,646 --> 00:18:47,447
Nonsense. My queen
always rides in front.
413
00:18:47,449 --> 00:18:49,649
[Smooches]
414
00:18:49,651 --> 00:18:51,551
Hey.
415
00:18:54,423 --> 00:18:56,556
[Swallows]
Eight.
416
00:18:59,895 --> 00:19:02,862
Hey. Hey.
We're good.
417
00:19:02,864 --> 00:19:05,765
The place we're going
is just right up here.
418
00:19:05,767 --> 00:19:09,536
[Groggily]
One more... right here.
419
00:19:11,239 --> 00:19:12,739
27.
420
00:19:18,513 --> 00:19:20,347
Let me just say thanks
to our friend.
421
00:19:20,349 --> 00:19:22,649
He's dead.
We have 10 minutes.
422
00:19:25,554 --> 00:19:28,054
Don't get many visitors,
but I'm always happy
423
00:19:28,056 --> 00:19:30,457
to show off
my C.I.A. memorabilia.
424
00:19:30,459 --> 00:19:32,225
Whoa!
Hayley, check it out!
425
00:19:32,227 --> 00:19:34,294
The super crack we introduced
in the '80s.
426
00:19:34,296 --> 00:19:37,931
[Gasps] Look! Steve!
The real Jason Bourne!
427
00:19:40,335 --> 00:19:42,268
How do I know how to do this?!
428
00:19:42,270 --> 00:19:44,971
Dad!
We only have four minutes!
429
00:19:44,973 --> 00:19:47,507
I believe this is
what you came for.
430
00:19:47,509 --> 00:19:49,643
Now let's talk about a fair price.
431
00:19:52,347 --> 00:19:53,913
Okay, we only got 30 seconds.
432
00:19:53,915 --> 00:19:55,548
I'll just zap you,
and we can forget
433
00:19:55,550 --> 00:19:57,817
about the worst day of our lives.
434
00:19:57,819 --> 00:20:01,554
You know, I ... I meant
what I wrote on the cake.
435
00:20:01,556 --> 00:20:04,557
[Voice breaking]
"Bad dad... sad."
436
00:20:05,694 --> 00:20:07,560
Aah! That's hot!
437
00:20:07,562 --> 00:20:09,629
Steve, that was our last chance.
438
00:20:09,631 --> 00:20:12,999
I can't believe I'm saying this,
but we shouldn't forget this day.
439
00:20:13,001 --> 00:20:15,819
Right! Because we made all these great
440
00:20:15,820 --> 00:20:18,638
new memories today ... as a family!
441
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,807
And that's the true meaning
of Father's Day.
442
00:20:20,809 --> 00:20:23,510
Are you kidding me?!
Today was a disaster!
443
00:20:23,512 --> 00:20:26,479
Well...
but, then... I'm screwed.
444
00:20:26,481 --> 00:20:27,981
You're gonna hate me forever.
445
00:20:27,983 --> 00:20:30,717
Yeah, we want you to feel
that way 'cause you've been
446
00:20:30,719 --> 00:20:33,286
working your ass off all day
to make things right.
447
00:20:33,288 --> 00:20:35,488
It turns out the only thing
that makes you a good dad
448
00:20:35,490 --> 00:20:38,224
- is being a guilty dad.
- Yeah.
449
00:20:38,226 --> 00:20:40,426
And that's the true meaning
of Father's Day.
450
00:20:40,444 --> 00:20:43,445
- No!!
- That's just a character flaw!
451
00:20:43,447 --> 00:20:46,848
Noticing my flaws
and my strengths.
452
00:20:46,850 --> 00:20:49,117
Is... that the true meaning
of Father's Day?
453
00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:51,453
Dad, I'll explain it all in
the back of that guy's pickup.
454
00:20:51,455 --> 00:20:53,888
Or better yet ...
why don't you drive?
455
00:20:53,890 --> 00:20:55,390
You know what, guys?
456
00:20:55,392 --> 00:20:58,293
This is easily one
of my favorite Father's Days.
457
00:20:58,295 --> 00:20:59,627
And Christmases.
458
00:20:59,629 --> 00:21:02,030
Did you guys know
it was Christmas?
459
00:21:02,032 --> 00:21:03,998
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
460
00:21:04,048 --> 00:21:08,598
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35494
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
