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1
00:00:04,537 --> 00:00:05,697
Miss Lemon.
2
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,637
It's me, Kenneth Parcell, the page.
3
00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:11,678
You probably didn't recognize me
in this new page uniform.
4
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:12,679
I recognize you, Kenneth.
5
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:16,282
The old uniforms were timeless, practical, sexy.
6
00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:17,751
But this?
7
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,352
This is an outrage.
8
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,217
You need to make them
go back to the old uniform.
9
00:00:21,287 --> 00:00:22,515
Well, I don't have that kind of authority.
10
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:23,715
Then what do you do?!
11
00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:27,927
Hey!
12
00:00:27,927 --> 00:00:29,451
I just got a call from security.
13
00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:32,821
That's ridiculous. Why would I
steal a file from personnel?
14
00:00:32,999 --> 00:00:34,401
What?
15
00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:35,959
No, Claire is in the lobby.
16
00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:37,967
Claire Harper? From Chicago?
17
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:39,902
Yup. Fun, crazy Claire.
18
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,543
Oh, man! Do you remember that night
we all danced in the open fire hydrant?
19
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:44,644
Yeah! Her roof parties?
20
00:00:44,644 --> 00:00:45,975
Karaoke in Boystown?
21
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,638
The all-night scavenger hunts?
22
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:49,646
Do you remember when we
crashed that Polish wedding?
23
00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:52,042
Yeah, she's exhausting.
24
00:00:52,185 --> 00:00:54,983
Ugh, I know. She's gonna make us
buy more of her homemade jewelry.
25
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,647
Birds always attack me when I wear it.
26
00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,793
I am not letting her drag me
out to some club tonight.
27
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:01,090
I am too old for that.
28
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:02,395
Up or down, ladies?
29
00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,386
Neither, we're waiting
for our old roommate.
30
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:05,999
She's like a human "Macarena":
31
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:08,568
something everyone did at parties in 1996.
32
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:09,636
Mee-ow.
33
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:10,703
You're right, that was harsh.
34
00:01:10,703 --> 00:01:11,704
No, "Mi Au."
35
00:01:11,704 --> 00:01:14,307
She owns the largest alternative
energy company in Asia.
36
00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:16,176
So as part of our Green Initiative,
37
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:18,678
we're doing a reality show
about her quest for a boyfriend.
38
00:01:18,678 --> 00:01:19,702
Wow.
39
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,810
Here comes Claire.
I'm already tired.
40
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
41
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:32,992
Surprise! I'm designing hats now!
42
00:01:32,992 --> 00:01:33,959
Oh, hats!
43
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,186
Oh, Claire, this is my boss, Jack Donaghy.
44
00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:37,696
Hi, there.
45
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,356
Welcome to New York, let's see...
46
00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:41,167
We're using credit cards in cabs now.
47
00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:43,036
All the galleries have moved to Chelsea.
48
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:44,697
And we're off cupcakes and back to donuts.
49
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,204
Would you excuse me
for a moment, please?
50
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,770
So girls, what are we doing tonight?
51
00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:52,445
You know, the baggage handler
told me about this storage unit party
52
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:53,713
that's on the Lower East Side.
53
00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:54,714
Starts about midnight.
54
00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:57,706
It's sponsored by Myirt Vodka
and some drug dealer.
55
00:01:58,017 --> 00:02:00,487
But the only rule is that we all have to DJ!
56
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:02,546
I mean, it's gonna be so much fun!
57
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,318
What's wrong, Ken?
You've got "wife eyes".
58
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:35,951
I'm just sad, sir.
59
00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:39,359
I've worn this old jacket
since nineteen --
60
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:40,827
And now they're just throwing it away.
61
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,556
Is there nothing sacred?
62
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,560
Have we lost our moral center?
63
00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:46,458
It just makes me want to pee on someone.
64
00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:48,567
And I appreciate that, sir.
65
00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:50,669
But rules are rules.
I'm just gonna have to live with it.
66
00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:52,705
I hate to see you like this, Ken Doll.
67
00:02:52,705 --> 00:02:55,435
It's like an owl without a graduation cap.
68
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:56,566
Heartbreaking!
69
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:58,611
So what can I buy you to make you happy?
70
00:02:58,611 --> 00:03:01,603
The things I want don't have a price tag, sir.
71
00:03:01,814 --> 00:03:05,545
Money can't buy a sunset.
Or a child's smile.
72
00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:09,956
Or a satisfying finale
to the hit NBC series "Night Court".
73
00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:12,058
Court? At night?
74
00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:14,549
I'm already laughing!
Tell me more.
75
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,931
Well, "Night Court" was supposed
to end with a wedding
76
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,728
between Christine and Harry.
77
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:21,568
But the show didn't get a 10th season
78
00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:23,866
so that great love story was left untold.
79
00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:26,766
So you never got closure
with those beloved characters?
80
00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:34,276
Did you see our shout-out in Variety?
They called us a comedy show!
81
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:36,883
Lemon, I ran into your friend
Claire in the elevator.
82
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,976
She is very pretty.
83
00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:41,553
No, no, no. She is nuts
when it comes to guys.
84
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,656
We had a name for her in Chicago...
85
00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:44,657
It's...
86
00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:46,352
too rude to say out loud.
87
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,030
"Crazyputty"?
88
00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:52,464
No.
89
00:03:52,832 --> 00:03:55,301
She's psycho.
She is Fatal Attraction.
90
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:58,327
She is staunchly in favor of Cocoa Puffs.
91
00:03:58,438 --> 00:03:59,735
Do not sleep with her.
92
00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:01,737
I wish you had told me that an hour ago.
93
00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:02,841
What?
94
00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:05,275
Oh, hey, Liz.
95
00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:06,569
Jack was just...
96
00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:09,406
giving me directions to the F train.
97
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,252
So are we still on for tonight?
98
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,186
Because it is going to be epic.
99
00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:15,714
I can't, I...
100
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:17,957
volunteer at a thing with...
101
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:19,624
kids and old people.
102
00:04:20,159 --> 00:04:21,160
Bring 'em!
103
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:22,559
See ya!
104
00:04:24,664 --> 00:04:28,031
What were you thinking? Some woman you've
known for 10 seconds in the elevator?
105
00:04:28,201 --> 00:04:31,398
I don't see what the problem is.
This is objectively awesome.
106
00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:34,841
You don't understand. For her,
sex isn't something you have to do
107
00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:36,240
after the 1 2th date.
108
00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:39,602
She uses it to suck men in
and bleed them dry.
109
00:04:39,712 --> 00:04:42,943
Back in Chicago, I saw her take
powerful men down.
110
00:04:43,182 --> 00:04:46,719
Didn't matter if it was Scottie Pippen,
or the drummer for the BoDeans
111
00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:50,857
...or someone else's boyfriend who ran
a small but prestigious clowning academy.
112
00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:52,225
Whose boyfriend?
113
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:55,717
Uh-huh, I get it. The fun, pretty girl
who got the guys, some of them yours.
114
00:04:55,862 --> 00:04:58,831
No, listen to me, she's not "fun."
She's just crazy.
115
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,365
Like, grab a cop's gun crazy.
116
00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:04,737
Lemon, having known Claire for
a very enjoyable 20 minutes,
117
00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:08,195
and you for what feels like infinity,
I'm gonna go with Claire on this one.
118
00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:13,511
Ready for your big surprise?
119
00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:14,947
Yes, sir.
120
00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:16,883
Gosh, the last time I was blindfolded
121
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:19,852
was when I had to play the piano
at that weird masquerade party.
122
00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:22,254
Ta-da!
123
00:05:23,589 --> 00:05:25,523
Some of the cast of Night Court!
124
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:28,150
That's right, K.
And they're here for you.
125
00:05:28,294 --> 00:05:30,524
This is the sick kid
you were telling us about?
126
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:33,393
Oh, bless your heart.
Do you like racecars?
127
00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:34,533
I do!
128
00:05:35,968 --> 00:05:39,734
Thank you, Mr. Jordan!
This is the greatest day of my life!
129
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,941
First I find that quarter this morning --
130
00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:44,774
Uh, I lost a quarter. Earlier.
131
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,284
Everyone-- To Mi Au.
132
00:05:56,356 --> 00:06:00,793
May tonight's fundraiser for your
Fundraising Foundation be as successful
133
00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:04,864
as last week's cocktail reception
for your rehab center.
134
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,201
Jack's just being modest.
135
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,725
He won't tell you...
136
00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:11,603
But I will!
137
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:16,674
Today is Jack's birthday.
138
00:06:17,643 --> 00:06:18,610
Hit it, boys!
139
00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:23,416
# Happy Birthday...?
140
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,611
# to you...?
141
00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:28,554
# Happy birthday...?
142
00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:30,351
# to you...?
143
00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:33,092
# Happy birth-?
144
00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:34,093
# -day...?
145
00:06:34,093 --> 00:06:35,094
# dear...?
146
00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:37,153
# Jackie Bear...?
147
00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:40,967
# Happy birthday...?
148
00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:44,470
# to him?
149
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:54,772
Jack, introduce me to this
charming, young woman.
150
00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:57,541
I am his life coach,
Esmeralda Fitzmonster --
151
00:06:57,683 --> 00:06:59,548
Would you excuse us,
just for a moment please?
152
00:06:59,952 --> 00:07:01,120
How did you get in here?
153
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,256
And first of all, it's not my birthday --
154
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,245
I know. Isn't that funny?
155
00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:07,684
What? Oh, come on, are you mad?
156
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,584
I'm just being fun and spontaneous.
157
00:07:09,729 --> 00:07:11,856
This is highly inappropriate.
I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
158
00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:14,524
Hey! If I kill myself it is all your fault!
159
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:26,705
You were right about Claire.
160
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,282
She crashed Mi Au's party.
161
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:32,547
Uh-huh. Did she do "Sexy birthday"
or "Mannequin who comes to life"?
162
00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:34,580
"Sexy birthday", thank God!
163
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,645
This is bad.
I need your help.
164
00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:39,025
When we were having sex at the
Palace, she said she loved me.
165
00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:39,992
You did it again?
166
00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:42,027
Well, it was quick and in the meat locker.
That's okay, right?
167
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:45,928
What is it with you men? You're like junkies.
Why can't you just say no?
168
00:07:46,065 --> 00:07:48,634
Lemon, let me explain something
you could have no way of knowing.
169
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:51,904
Emotionally unstable women are...
170
00:07:51,904 --> 00:07:55,575
fantastic in the sack.
I mean their self-loathing...
171
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:57,566
translates into...
172
00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:00,003
Nevermind.
173
00:08:00,279 --> 00:08:03,082
I've got to get out of this.
What do other guys do?
174
00:08:03,082 --> 00:08:04,242
Well, one guy died.
175
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,519
Scottie Pippen requested a trade to Houston.
176
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:08,510
Houston's too humid.
What about this "died" thing?
177
00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:10,317
Ugh...
Where is she now?
178
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:12,357
Chained to the radiator in her hotel room.
179
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:15,223
It was her idea.
She's an amazing woman, Lemon.
180
00:08:15,394 --> 00:08:17,897
OK, I need to keep you two separated.
181
00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:19,232
I can't believe I'm gonna say this:
182
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:21,723
I will go clubbing with Claire.
183
00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:23,302
I will attempt a hair-do.
184
00:08:23,302 --> 00:08:25,202
I will wear high heels.
185
00:08:25,304 --> 00:08:26,794
Claire's wearing high heels right now.
186
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:29,408
Go home, junkie.
I'm cutting off your supply.
187
00:08:29,408 --> 00:08:32,536
She leaves Thursday. Do you think
you can make it through one night?
188
00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:35,280
I just gotta hack it...
I just gotta hack it...
189
00:08:36,749 --> 00:08:39,285
My boy Ken has written a masterpiece.
190
00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:41,810
And trust me, I use that word a lot.
191
00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:46,292
I just want to thank y'all
for making this dream come true for me.
192
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:49,728
Finally giving America what it wants.
193
00:08:50,096 --> 00:08:54,066
A reunion of friends... from "Night Court".
194
00:08:54,066 --> 00:08:56,569
And the wedding of Harry and Christine!
195
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:58,104
Before we begin...
196
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,766
I would just like to say how special it is
197
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,674
to be with you all again, my very special family.
198
00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:08,245
I just wish the brilliant
John Larroquette could be here as well.
199
00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:11,681
Yeah, he really did want to come,
but he couldn't work the schedule out.
200
00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:13,319
You and John still talk?
201
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:14,513
We stay in touch, yeah.
202
00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:16,122
Did he mention me?
203
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,557
You came up, Markie.
204
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,191
You always come up, Markie!
205
00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:22,562
Well, of course I come up
at your little boys' club.
206
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:26,020
You always thought you were better than me
because you got nominated for Emmys.
207
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:30,258
Well, I would have too, but I was
too hot to be taken seriously!
208
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,894
Well, that wouldn't be a problem now, would it?
209
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:38,907
Mmm-hmmm.
210
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:40,978
Court is adjourned.
211
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:48,208
This is worse than the original finale!
What are we gonna do?
212
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,912
I don't know, Ken.
This is bad.
213
00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:52,825
I wish this were an episode of Night Court
214
00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:55,055
'cause then there'd be
some big joke right now.
215
00:10:03,402 --> 00:10:05,165
Oh, that is so hot!
216
00:10:05,504 --> 00:10:06,766
You just look good in everything.
217
00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:09,208
I want to buy some hats.
218
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:10,476
Yes!
219
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:11,978
Hey! You're selling hats in the office!
220
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:14,412
I am. And I didn't ask
because I knew you'd say yes.
221
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,081
So...
222
00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:18,581
What's the haps?
What are we doing tonight?
223
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,479
Hitting a clizz-ub with Jenna?
224
00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:23,551
You know I'd love to, but
I kinda have tentative plans.
225
00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:26,590
What, with Jack? Come on.
He's like the first guy you met here.
226
00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:30,563
Roll with us tonight and you will
meet someone even hotter.
227
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:31,564
Really?
228
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:35,134
Guaranteed. Like I was at this
club last week called...
229
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,135
...Chili's
230
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:39,400
And I met this smoking guy.
231
00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:41,562
He was just raw.
232
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,543
Tell me everything.
233
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:47,636
I'm going to.
He was wearing this shirt.
234
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,872
And I could totally see his nips.
235
00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:52,218
And he was very muscular.
236
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:53,285
Really!
237
00:10:53,285 --> 00:10:54,387
Did you go home with him?
238
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:56,322
Yes. To his loft.
239
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,415
Where he gave me the business.
240
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:01,519
So let's go dancing in high heels!
241
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:04,189
OK, I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna blow off Jack.
242
00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:05,230
Where should we go?
243
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:07,400
You guys should go to Aquarium.
244
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:11,804
It's this new night club, and all the women
are in a glass room on the dance floor
245
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:14,830
and all the guys just watch and feed them.
246
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,342
That sounds so hot!
247
00:11:17,576 --> 00:11:19,203
Yes, thank you, Cerie.
That's very helpful.
248
00:11:19,311 --> 00:11:20,642
Thank you. So helpful.
249
00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:24,283
You have to go through with this wedding, Harry.
250
00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:25,978
It means the world to my boy Ken.
251
00:11:26,118 --> 00:11:28,254
Hey, I am game.
But it's Markie.
252
00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:29,653
She will not let go of the past.
253
00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:30,889
Okay.
254
00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:34,185
So you and Markeline have bad blood.
But it's bigger than that.
255
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:37,020
My boy Kenneth is going through
some really tough times.
256
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,898
They're trying to make him wear a coat
257
00:11:38,898 --> 00:11:40,798
that's different than his other coat.
258
00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:48,330
You won't regret this, Harry.
You look great.
259
00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:55,247
Markie, will you do me the honor
of becoming my fake wife
260
00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:57,579
so we can get our money
and get the hell out of here?
261
00:11:58,017 --> 00:12:01,043
I've waited 15 years
to hear you say those words.
262
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,385
It's happening!
Nothing can go wrong now.
263
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:16,826
There you are.
264
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:18,204
Why'd you leave?
265
00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:20,604
I think those Persian guys wanted
us to make out together.
266
00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:23,676
I'm waiting for Claire.
She texted me like an hour ago
267
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:26,008
and said that she was
getting on the F train --
268
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,547
Oh, no.
269
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:30,549
What? What is it?
270
00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:37,223
Lemon?
271
00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:38,986
Jack! She's in your house.
272
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:42,128
Don't be ridiculous.
273
00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:43,390
The alarm is--
274
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:47,722
I made you a white pizza and a pot roast
275
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:51,027
because I just think you're so amazing...
276
00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:53,205
Look at me, playing house!
277
00:12:53,205 --> 00:12:56,368
My God, you must think
I'm out of my mind!
278
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:57,610
Do you?
279
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,669
You just looked away when
I said that! I saw you!
280
00:12:59,745 --> 00:13:00,712
No.
281
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:05,578
Just kiss me. I know
your lips will be honest.
282
00:13:09,321 --> 00:13:10,288
Lemon, I gotta call you back.
283
00:13:14,426 --> 00:13:17,329
Now, when we left off, Christine
was stuck in the elevator,
284
00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:19,465
Mac had two dates on the same night,
285
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,797
and Harry just discovered he was adopted.
286
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:22,959
So let's turn to page two.
287
00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:26,033
Well, well, well
a Night Court reunion.
288
00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:30,109
Funny how I wasn't invited.
Or had you forgotten my three-episode arc
289
00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:31,736
as Public Defender
Sparky Monroe?
290
00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:35,403
No, we remember, Jenna.
You were the werewolf lawyer.
291
00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:41,684
I can prove my client is innocent.
If only it weren't a full "mooon"!
292
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:43,789
You made us jump the shark!
293
00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:45,658
You're the reason we didn't have a 10th season.
294
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,752
I had just bought my second home
when they brought that idiot werewolf lawyer in.
295
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:52,160
Uh, that "idiot werewolf" paid for
my hand reduction surgery, Okay?
296
00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:54,667
Kenneth, I can't believe you're
such a Night Court fan
297
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,328
and didn't know I played the werelawyer.
298
00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:58,103
I knew.
299
00:13:58,737 --> 00:13:59,965
Very well.
300
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:01,373
I can take a hint.
301
00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:06,142
But you haven't seen the last
of Sparky Monroe!
302
00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:12,851
Liz, help me.
303
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,979
Jack, what happened last night?
304
00:14:15,321 --> 00:14:16,555
Why are you wearing that hat?
305
00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:17,690
I don't know.
306
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,225
You did it again?
307
00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:20,249
I can't help it.
308
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,795
I'm under a lot of pressure,
and Claire is my escape.
309
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:25,923
I crave her all the time
even though I know she's bad for me.
310
00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:27,998
And my teeth are getting loose!
311
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,668
I don't think I can get out of this.
312
00:14:29,668 --> 00:14:30,657
Maybe Claire's right.
313
00:14:31,103 --> 00:14:32,900
Maybe if we had a baby together
things would calm down.
314
00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:34,370
Jack, this is what she does.
315
00:14:34,573 --> 00:14:37,337
She sucks you into her craziness,
and you have to fight it.
316
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:39,911
You have to step up and end this.
317
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:41,172
I'm scared, Lemon.
318
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:42,971
I'll do whatever you say.
319
00:14:43,115 --> 00:14:44,082
Okay.
320
00:14:45,084 --> 00:14:46,881
Oh, what a surprise.
321
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:49,350
What are you two chatting about?
322
00:14:49,455 --> 00:14:51,590
Actually, Claire, we were
talking about you.
323
00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:53,319
And Jack has something
he'd like to tell you.
324
00:14:54,159 --> 00:14:55,126
I do.
325
00:14:55,961 --> 00:14:58,088
I'd like to suck that ring
right off your toe.
326
00:14:58,364 --> 00:14:59,331
...just gotta hack it...
327
00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:02,490
Oh please, stop. Don't make that
angry Muppet face at him.
328
00:15:03,535 --> 00:15:06,138
I know what you were trying to do last night.
329
00:15:06,138 --> 00:15:08,240
You were trying to keep me away from Jack.
330
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,675
And you almost fooled me.
331
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:11,877
But then I remembered something.
332
00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:13,012
You don't like to have fun.
333
00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:14,980
And now your little plan is backfiring.
334
00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:17,138
And Jack is seeing
the manipulative you.
335
00:15:17,549 --> 00:15:19,915
The Single White Female
thing that you have with me.
336
00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:22,817
I don't have a Single White Female
thing with you!
337
00:15:23,055 --> 00:15:26,047
Honey, you moved into my building.
338
00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:28,756
You always wore chokers
because I wore chokers.
339
00:15:28,827 --> 00:15:30,226
- I like a choker...
- Yes...
340
00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:31,827
You dated that clown.
341
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:32,964
Joel Sucheki.
342
00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:35,200
First! I dated him first, Claire.
343
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,837
And he was not "that clown" he was
"the" head clowning instructor.
344
00:15:38,837 --> 00:15:39,872
Hmm.
345
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,473
I'm not doing this.
346
00:15:41,473 --> 00:15:44,931
I am only here because Jack is my friend,
and he asked me for support.
347
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,101
Yes, right. That's what I'm saying.
348
00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:49,782
We all want what's best for Jack, right?
349
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:51,750
So why don't we just
get this three-way on?
350
00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:52,884
- No!
- No!...
351
00:15:53,585 --> 00:15:55,143
...right? That's a bad idea, right?
352
00:15:55,821 --> 00:15:58,187
Well, I tried to be the adult.
353
00:15:58,357 --> 00:16:02,225
And if only one of us can
have him, it's gonna be me.
354
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,023
Jack, you wanted out of this.
355
00:16:04,196 --> 00:16:07,359
Break the cycle! You have a choice.
You can choose Claire, or --
356
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:09,333
Claire, I would like Claire.
357
00:16:09,401 --> 00:16:10,836
Fine, I am done helping you.
358
00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:13,172
And when you hit rock bottom, which you will,
359
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:14,867
I am not gonna bail you out.
360
00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:16,872
I'm deleting you from my phone!
361
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:18,874
Password? What?
362
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:24,049
Hey, Tracy and Kenneth won't
put me in the "Night Court" finale
363
00:16:24,049 --> 00:16:25,317
they're shooting on stage tonight.
364
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:26,385
What?
365
00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:27,852
I know!
I'm the werelawyer.
366
00:16:32,624 --> 00:16:33,591
Objection!
367
00:16:33,892 --> 00:16:34,859
Here we go again...
368
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:36,027
Tell me about it.
369
00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:38,797
The last time I saw either of you,
370
00:16:38,797 --> 00:16:41,129
there was a problem with the page uniforms.
371
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:43,268
A problem that persists, Liz Lemon.
372
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:44,593
Hey, are you with network?
373
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,572
How about if Heroes had this new character,
374
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:48,870
and his super power was close-up magic?
375
00:16:49,141 --> 00:16:51,666
What? No. Big fan, by the way.
376
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:55,838
You are breaking union rules,
our insurance doesn't cover any of this,
377
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:59,785
and you are potentially infringing on
Warner Brothers' intellectual property.
378
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:00,911
Shut this down.
379
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,488
I want a different answer.
Where's Jack Donaghy?
380
00:17:03,589 --> 00:17:05,284
No. There's no more Jack.
He's dead to us.
381
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:06,649
Break this down!
382
00:17:06,892 --> 00:17:08,193
Everybody out!
383
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:09,194
I'm sorry.
384
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:10,195
Can I say something?
385
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:11,230
Absolutely not.
386
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:15,724
The only crime any of us is guilty of
is caring for one another.
387
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:18,294
Mr. Jordan, who tried to cheer me up.
388
00:17:18,737 --> 00:17:20,739
These wonderful actors
389
00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:23,264
who tried to make a
young man's dream come true.
390
00:17:23,675 --> 00:17:25,905
If there is a law against friendship,
391
00:17:26,311 --> 00:17:27,801
then lock me up.
392
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,449
But if there isn't,
393
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:32,785
then the show must go onward!
394
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:33,819
What?
395
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:36,788
Ken, you did it!
You changed her mind!
396
00:17:37,156 --> 00:17:39,021
No. No he didn't!
397
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,391
Stop group hugging!
Who does that?
398
00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:46,998
Isn't this great?
399
00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:49,024
We're together.
400
00:17:49,668 --> 00:17:50,999
We're in line to get into a club.
401
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:52,537
I have my glowstick...
402
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,270
Uh-huh, yeah.
403
00:17:55,707 --> 00:17:58,198
There's no more Liz
trying to keep us apart.
404
00:17:58,377 --> 00:17:59,605
No more drama.
405
00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:02,514
No more sneaking around,
406
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:05,984
or recording our intimate moments
to leave on Liz's voicemail.
407
00:18:05,984 --> 00:18:07,052
What?
408
00:18:07,052 --> 00:18:09,521
I don't even know what
this is anymore.
409
00:18:09,521 --> 00:18:13,092
Are we boring? Are we some
sexless couple that sits in silence
410
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:16,528
at a fish place on a
Sunday night at 5:00?
411
00:18:16,528 --> 00:18:17,930
Because if we are,
I will kill myself.
412
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,728
What? No! We're exciting.
We're having fun.
413
00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:21,833
Yeah?
414
00:18:22,534 --> 00:18:23,967
You really want to have fun, Jack?
415
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,437
Yes! Let's do something wild.
416
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,064
You like it when I get naughty, Jack?
417
00:18:27,239 --> 00:18:28,206
Yeah...
418
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,068
Where the hell did you --?
419
00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:35,414
Crazyputty!
420
00:18:35,414 --> 00:18:38,117
Hey! The guy in the
cool, cool hat has a gun!
421
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,243
Drop it! Now!
422
00:18:39,318 --> 00:18:40,285
- He has a gun!
- No, no, no, no!
423
00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:42,353
Run, Jack!
424
00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:43,421
She's crazyputty!
425
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:44,589
Run, Jack!
426
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,230
Well, it's been quite a night.
427
00:18:53,365 --> 00:18:55,856
And it's been quite a court... ship.
428
00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:59,771
So by the power vested in me
by the State of New York,
429
00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:02,035
I hereby pronounce us
430
00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:05,043
Mr. and Mrs. Judge Harry T. Stone.
431
00:19:05,043 --> 00:19:06,772
And I may now kiss the bride.
432
00:19:07,913 --> 00:19:08,981
Uh-oh...
433
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:12,610
It's almost a full "mooon"!
434
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:14,186
Yeah...
435
00:19:14,186 --> 00:19:17,849
And as my first official act
as a newly married judge,
436
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:22,757
I hereby declare the new
page uniforms at NBC illegal!
437
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:25,998
I added that.
I went upstairs and told them,
438
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,200
if they didn't go back
to the old uniforms
439
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,169
I refuse to play the role of Mac
440
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,831
in Universal's upcoming
Night Court movie.
441
00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:34,005
What's that now?
442
00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:35,934
Thank you, Mr. Jordan!
443
00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:43,715
Are you okay?
444
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:46,818
I thank you very much.
445
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,354
Lemon...
446
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:51,845
Real night court is not like the TV show.
447
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,025
Remember that TV show?
448
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:53,992
I do.
449
00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:55,460
I mean, the hookers are not funny.
450
00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:58,861
There's a lot more sickly homeless people
and terrified college students...
451
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:04,997
Thanks for bailing me out. Claire
threw my wallet down a storm drain.
452
00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:06,237
Ah.
453
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,138
Lemon, I'm sorry I...
454
00:20:08,473 --> 00:20:10,498
I'm just glad you're okay.
455
00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:12,167
Well, thank you for answering your phone.
456
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:13,905
Well, I don't know
how to decline a call.
457
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,774
Claire used to punch me in the face.
458
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:19,940
Ugh...
459
00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:22,650
No, Lemon, I'm done. I swear.
460
00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:23,755
Hey, try this on.
461
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:25,682
That's a good look for you.
462
00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:27,891
You like that? It's yours.
463
00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:30,493
Little Lewis Carrol here.
464
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,089
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465
00:20:34,139 --> 00:20:38,689
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